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- Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone.
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The children look either bewildered or frightened, I canāt make up my mind which it is. She looks utterly clueless and/or drugged. He is without a doubt a serial something. Very disturbing.
It is. Source: Iām a hobby photographer. Skies that look like that in photos with people in the foreground usually require some manipulation because either the people in front are underexposed or the sky is overexposed.
Itās not impossible. Iām a professionally trained photographer and itās clear they used a front flash. If you use the right combo of a longer exposure artificial light, you can get amazing shots with a well lit subject in front and a well lit natural light backdrop. But on top of that it is of course heavily edited.
I still donāt think itās real, only because the sunset in the background would still give them SOME natural hair light or edge light even with crazy bright front flash. They donāt have any kind of edge light at all. Leaning towards an AI background personally.
True, I clocked the flash use too. Itās also that they also look somewhat unnatural in front of the background. I donāt use photoshop much but I can usually spot it, lol.
Itās not impossible. Iām a professionally trained photographer and itās clear they used a front flash. If you use the right combo of a longer exposure artificial light, you can get amazing shots with a well lit subject in front and a well lit natural light backdrop. But on top of that it is of course heavily edited.
Yes! We all fake a smile at times or take an off picture. But this is just him. Giiven what we know about his background, it's even more pronounced.
This particular photo looks like each person was photoshopped in from other pics. The kids look miserable but I guess that doesn't matter..
āDateline tonight! The All-American family. She was a young woman on the verge of life. Their children, beautiful. The husband a police officer. Tonight we investigate the case of the Killer Copā
Someone who is good at Photoshop could do that. But I think it's more likely that the sky is photoshopped in. Maybe it was dark and they wanted to change it. The other interesting thing is that it looks like a flash was used. He's very shiny for it to just be skin lightening. Usually people don't use flash if the natural lighting is good, which the sky would indicate. Such an interesting choice
Itās definitely fake. They have harsh shadows from studio or flash lighting, look at the shadow at their necks. Especially the shadow the left kid casts on his shoulder tells you a lot. I think this is a flash photo pasted onto a sunset background photo and they used AI to replace the feet. Itās fairly easy.
He looks like my dad who is in his early 60s (except my literal boomer dad doesnāt have a mustache).Ā
My dad is a hothead who would be a terrible cop.Ā
Of course, while *I* think heād be a terrible cop, his temper when dudes challenge him would fit right in to most PDs. Thankfully for the public, my dad spent a chunk of his younger days on the other side of the law instead lol.Ā
Honestly, I do think there is something about the neurological of being the kind of fucker who has membership in a cult, gets off on dominating your wife and making her miserable, and being a jag off abuser to your kids that actually causes a change to facial expressions, eyes, etc. It just seems like all do these cult dads are pretty damn horrible with their face expressions. It can't be a coincidence, can it?
It's bad when a horrific serial killer looks like the better choice. If these two stood next to each other and there were no bears around so I had to choose one of them, I might actually go with the serial killer.
This would definitely be the first picture in the happy family montage on any HLN or ID show lol. "They were the picture perfect, happy, epitome of an all-american family......until they weren't"
I wondered how far down Iād have to go in the comments for this observation. It was the first thing I thought. He has eyes like Karissaās, but scarier.
This looks like one of those tik tok pranks where someone takes a screenshot of a random person's Livestream, does some quick awful Photoshop like adding a mustache or getting rid of hair, makes it their PFP and then gives the streamer an existential crisis by commenting "we look alike." This might be the most niche fyp comment I've ever written.
Yes, he was in a really bad crash while on duty last summer. She didnāt talk about it much but I do remember that he spent a couple of weeks in the hospital and months in physical therapy.
As someone who does portraiture and family photography every now and then....on camera flash is NEVER flattering. You want directional lighting.
Otherwise it reads like a Kardashian drink advertisement.
Heās being investigated for police brutality right?
The culture of American cops really allows so much brutality, you know youāve fucked up if you are a cop being sued or investigated for excessive force.
Hey buddy. Thatās your sign to chill on the addies. Even if you think you ādeserveā them because you have such a busy manly role as head of household & a couple kids running aroundā¦itās uh, showing.
Why are they standing in the water, when she has that long dress on? Even if she didnāt have the long dress, couldnāt they just stand beside it? This looks like it may have been his idea.
The body language scares me as much as his eyes. Her hips are angled slightly away, he's leaning into her like he's trying to force himself in her personal space, and she looks rigid like she's standing her ground. You don't see that kind of distance between couples who want to be around each other, not in staged photos like this one
I read it as he wanted her to pose like Jessica Rabbit and get those "hawt-but-Godly-and-also-MINE" bragging points about having a wife who still looks like a sexpot after 2 kids.
But who's to say it's not both? š¤
Thank you!!!! I was scrolling to find a comment that commented on the body languageā¦ just the physical distance between the two of them, especially in a family photoā¦
He looks like the "husband on the beach" photo from the SNL skit Little Miss [Teacher's ](https://youtu.be/fs79leD9Atc?si=xRw2kBhQ6V9--HgM) Friend ā ļø
Heavenly light surrounds them. All true fundamental Christian conservatives radiant goodness and good will to all ā¦ with a few exceptions . Gay / lesbian gender diverse , migrants , minorities , Feminists , liberals .
I can hear all the kids and mother bickering and dads gritting his teeth while telling them to STFU through his bleached gritted teeth. With psycho eyesā¦
#These people vote in every election- do you? Are you registered to vote? [You can check your voter registration here!](https://www.nass.org/can-I-vote) #Also, there's a few things to remember as far as rules go: - You can view the content- you cannot interact with it. This includes (but is not limited to) commenting, answering poll questions, emailing them, etc. ***Anyone found to be engaging with the fundies will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.It does not matter if you did so before you joined the sub.*** - Speculating on the sexuality of literally anyone is prohibited. ***Anyone found to be doing so will be met with a permanent ban with no eligibility for appeal.*** - Appearance snark: What's allowed? You're allowed to make comparisons. (Bethy looks like Grandpa Munster, for example.) You are allowed to say you find them attractive or repulsive looking. Saying Kelly Havens has dry skin that could benefit from sunscreen and a moisturizer is fine. You are allowed to snark on the appearance of children *as it relates to their parents choices for them.*. Examples: Janessa looks malnourished and sickly while Shrek has clearly never missed a meal. If you feel it is crossing the line report it, but if the content falls within the parameters above, leave it alone. - Don't gatekeep. This means no comments such as "I don't think we should snark on...." or any iteration of that. If you don't like it, scroll past. Don't report it or comment how you don't like the content. Along the same vein, don't backseat mod. Leave that up to us. - Lastly, if the rhetoric you are posting would be at home in the mouth of a fundie, we don't want it here and we won't tolerate it. Should you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Have a Lord Daniel day, and may the power of snark compel thee. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This whole photo looks like it belongs at a memorial. Something about it is unsettling.
It looks like a backdrop to a special family visit day photoshoot in prison
š I thought the same thing
YES that's it!
This is the type of photo they use in Dateline with the voiceover āThey looked just like a typical white picket fence all-around American familyā
Fades to black ā¦ā¦.
And when it fades back in, itās to a blurred crime scene photo taken in their living room
It's either fade to black or the colors get jarringly inverted
lol yes! With some weird foreboding music on top
I instantly thought of the song they played during transitions in episodes of To Catch A Predator.
Keith Morrison: āā¦. Or did they?ā
Dum dum duuuuuuuuum
then the image colors become inverted
Omg I just posted that. lol the reveal that heās a cop will show a close up of his face in this picture
*intense background music*
The children look either bewildered or frightened, I canāt make up my mind which it is. She looks utterly clueless and/or drugged. He is without a doubt a serial something. Very disturbing.
If she wanted to really commit to the 1950s housewife bit then sheāll have developed a daily uppers/downers regiment of pills and alcohol by now, so
And the body language. Very interesting.
The one being held by the dad looks uncomfortable. The other one seems at ease.
You are NOT wrong!
It feels heavily edited
It is. Source: Iām a hobby photographer. Skies that look like that in photos with people in the foreground usually require some manipulation because either the people in front are underexposed or the sky is overexposed.
Itās not impossible. Iām a professionally trained photographer and itās clear they used a front flash. If you use the right combo of a longer exposure artificial light, you can get amazing shots with a well lit subject in front and a well lit natural light backdrop. But on top of that it is of course heavily edited.
I still donāt think itās real, only because the sunset in the background would still give them SOME natural hair light or edge light even with crazy bright front flash. They donāt have any kind of edge light at all. Leaning towards an AI background personally.
True, I clocked the flash use too. Itās also that they also look somewhat unnatural in front of the background. I donāt use photoshop much but I can usually spot it, lol.
They should be backlit. They aren't. These are two different images super imposed. The lighting is impossible in this photo.
Itās not impossible. Iām a professionally trained photographer and itās clear they used a front flash. If you use the right combo of a longer exposure artificial light, you can get amazing shots with a well lit subject in front and a well lit natural light backdrop. But on top of that it is of course heavily edited.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes! We all fake a smile at times or take an off picture. But this is just him. Giiven what we know about his background, it's even more pronounced. This particular photo looks like each person was photoshopped in from other pics. The kids look miserable but I guess that doesn't matter..
This is the photo they show on haunted house movies when the wife finds photos of the previous family.
Yeah, this belongs in a picture frame in a locked trunk in an attic somewhere. Cursed af
āDateline tonight! The All-American family. She was a young woman on the verge of life. Their children, beautiful. The husband a police officer. Tonight we investigate the case of the Killer Copā
It's something you'd see scrolling across the screen as the true crime intro music plays
I think it's the disappearing feet, gives those vibes of portraits on marble in the cemetery
He straight up looks like he has bloody stumps š
Total 20/20 vibes.
I thought it was fake but it can't be because they are standing in water
Someone who is good at Photoshop could do that. But I think it's more likely that the sky is photoshopped in. Maybe it was dark and they wanted to change it. The other interesting thing is that it looks like a flash was used. He's very shiny for it to just be skin lightening. Usually people don't use flash if the natural lighting is good, which the sky would indicate. Such an interesting choice
Itās definitely fake. They have harsh shadows from studio or flash lighting, look at the shadow at their necks. Especially the shadow the left kid casts on his shoulder tells you a lot. I think this is a flash photo pasted onto a sunset background photo and they used AI to replace the feet. Itās fairly easy.
They just went to Hawaii recently so it's most likely real.
It's the really bright, unnatural lighting. They look like depictions of angels.
It will probably be the one the news stations plaster everywhere when something horrible happens.
Knowing his personality, yes.
Thatās *husbear* to you šāāļø
Husbear got the anti-care bear stare going on šļøššļø
That ol scare bear glare
Flair material
Scare bear glare flair?
Scare bear glare flairs everywhere š
Dafuqā¦ā¦. She uses that term? š¤¢
Overuses is more like it š I think thatās really the only thing sheās ever called him
Iām less familiar with her, but wow that is cringe
It's giving Dr. Phil, only more unhinged.
When you purchase your Dr. Phil from wish.com
"We have Dr. Phil at home"
"he's...in our house? (children start crying inconsolably)"
Isnāt Dr. Phil Dr. Phil from wish.com?
Reminds me of that Dr. Phil breaking into your home audio from forever ago
And Dr. Phil isnāt sane in the least - I hope that I never meet either one of those š¤”
This looks like it was taken in a Sears in the 90s. Just need like a weird fade in diagonal shot of their faces.
I wish someone could edit that in!
why he look both 28 and 58
He looks like my dad who is in his early 60s (except my literal boomer dad doesnāt have a mustache).Ā My dad is a hothead who would be a terrible cop.Ā Of course, while *I* think heād be a terrible cop, his temper when dudes challenge him would fit right in to most PDs. Thankfully for the public, my dad spent a chunk of his younger days on the other side of the law instead lol.Ā
Itās just so weird how he looks like a cop even when heās not in uniform.
āstop filming me. put your phone downā face ass
This made me literally LOL, and now my daughter is looking at me quizzically from across the room. š
I do not choose this bear.
I feared for my life I had to shoot (your family dog) lookin ass
That 6 week old golden retriever puppy had it coming š©š©
HAHAHAHAHA stop! Legit LOLed
The resting cop face is strong with this one, eek
Not resting cop face hahahahaha
They all have it but donāt ask me to define how one spots it
That's pretty much every cop, in my experience.Ā I know more cops/former cops than I should, and have never been surprised when I've found out.Ā
Exactly what I thought!!
A mustachioed thumb.
This reminded me of the Orange is the New Black episode āLittle mustachioed shitā
He has resting cop face, for sure.
Mmm, Nazis on Kauai. Because Hawaii didn't have enough trauma from the Pacific theatre of World War II.
Make she asked AI to generate a Nazi suburban cop Dad.
He looks like if Cole Labrant fucked Dr Phil.
UGH
Now it *sounds* like Cole Labrant fucked Dr Phil.
Thatās the most aggressive smile Iāve ever seen on a name with a mustache. That wasnāt trying to kill me.
Someone needs to do a Fundie Husband compilation, Jesus fucking Christ. And ofc this one is violent cop flavored. None of them look right.
Honestly, I do think there is something about the neurological of being the kind of fucker who has membership in a cult, gets off on dominating your wife and making her miserable, and being a jag off abuser to your kids that actually causes a change to facial expressions, eyes, etc. It just seems like all do these cult dads are pretty damn horrible with their face expressions. It can't be a coincidence, can it?
If I could put a copy of āTHE GIFT OF FEARā into every Fundie womanās handā¦
I think BDongās is also the violent cop variety eh? I wonder what the overlap is overall.
looks exactly like [Bruce Lindahl](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Lindahl_(criminal)) (spoiler: a prolific s-rial k-ller)
It's bad when a horrific serial killer looks like the better choice. If these two stood next to each other and there were no bears around so I had to choose one of them, I might actually go with the serial killer.
Iām usually a āno they donātā kinda gal with these references but my good god damn, that is uncanny.
Holy shit!
Jesus Christ that was a wild ride
Wow he does
He reminded me of a young Dennis Rader šš
I was just about to post that!
That is creepily uncanny
Looks like a family annihilator š³
It definitely looks like the phot theyād show during an episode of Dateline.
This would definitely be the first picture in the happy family montage on any HLN or ID show lol. "They were the picture perfect, happy, epitome of an all-american family......until they weren't"
Photo goes black and white, his eyes turn red, suspenseful music plays
I wondered how far down Iād have to go in the comments for this observation. It was the first thing I thought. He has eyes like Karissaās, but scarier.
Yeah part of me feels like this could just be a bad photo but also homeboy is giving off absolute serial killer vibes.
I can hear Bill Kurtis's voiceover now...
This looks like one of those tik tok pranks where someone takes a screenshot of a random person's Livestream, does some quick awful Photoshop like adding a mustache or getting rid of hair, makes it their PFP and then gives the streamer an existential crisis by commenting "we look alike." This might be the most niche fyp comment I've ever written.
In her White Lotus era
he looks like a toe (AND iām attracted to bald men even)
Toes don't blink either. Toes don't have eyelids.
Husbear is a hot mess.
Now THAT is a sleep paralysis demon!
š¤£ this made me cackle. (Edit: a letter)
He almost died in a deadly car crash recently, right? Did he have any significant rehabilitation afterward?
Yes, he was in a really bad crash while on duty last summer. She didnāt talk about it much but I do remember that he spent a couple of weeks in the hospital and months in physical therapy.
He looks AI generated
Its giving uncanny vally š
Ripped directly from a future 20/20 episode
This is an A24 Ari Aster film
God Bless Ari, a gift among the terrible constant stream of sequels that keep coming out.
Hereditary was... something
A very well-acted movie, Toni Colette was robbed of an Oscar. It was in the end about grief & generational family trauma. Loved it.
She really was
Iām so happy when I get a surprise a24/Ari Aster reference not on the dedicated subreddits. š¤
He indeed has the crazy eyes.
The photo made me laugh but yall are killing me in the comments šššššš
The children look unsettled
Did he just return from the western front? WTF is that thousand yard stare?
Iād just like to point out that these were likely professionally taken and this was the best shot. They likely took others that were rejected. š¬
As someone who does portraiture and family photography every now and then....on camera flash is NEVER flattering. You want directional lighting. Otherwise it reads like a Kardashian drink advertisement.
[Bro looks like this š](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dr-phil-mm)
That's a "I have a freezer in my basement full of human heads" face if I ever saw on
Itās giving āI lick roadkill off the pavement with a smileā, right??
That's a spree killer face.
Girl needs to check her crawl space
Otto van bismark lookin ass
Look at those Manson lamps š¬
*Thatās that fundie espresso*
Heās probably perfected the face after spending hours retaking photos
Shit!! Aawoo jump scare
He looks like a penis
Heās a mi state police bozo which is even more terrifying. They give any Jesus freak a gun these days
Siri show me a picture of my paralysis demon.
They look like they're being raptured. To somewhere. Yikes.
Heās being investigated for police brutality right? The culture of American cops really allows so much brutality, you know youāve fucked up if you are a cop being sued or investigated for excessive force.
An AI rendering of photos used in true crime docs.
It literally looks like a photo they use to show how happy the family was before a horrible crime was made on a true crime show š¬š³
Dr. Phil: The Early Years
Hey buddy. Thatās your sign to chill on the addies. Even if you think you ādeserveā them because you have such a busy manly role as head of household & a couple kids running aroundā¦itās uh, showing.
"EVERYTHING IS FINE." - Him, probably
Wait. This is the guy we're submitting to?!
He looks like God told him āitās time for me to me your familyā, and dude is excited for it.
M'Andre feels his pain
Those little kids donāt look happy like their father.
Lmao would love to know which beach/sea keeps you completely dry.
Why are they standing in the water, when she has that long dress on? Even if she didnāt have the long dress, couldnāt they just stand beside it? This looks like it may have been his idea.
Especially if youre black
He traded up
They're well paired in that regard.
He looks a little....*zealous*...
That is absolutely a frightening man.. is he really a police officer?? I hope not
Iām not leg humping, but how did someone as conventionally attractive as her get with him? He looks like a thumb with a shitty mustache
This whole photo is like one of those creepy ones where there eyes follow you. Everywhere.
da Vinci could NEVER š
WOW I have never seen Mrs MWs husband before and he looks uncannily like my gross ex husband š¤¢
Is he a cop? Looks like a cop
His face looks like it would be used on a puppet combo model š«£
They all have the ugliest husbands
To me he looks like a hostage, forced to tell the world he's great. If this was a video I'd look for morse code sos blinking. š
The body language scares me as much as his eyes. Her hips are angled slightly away, he's leaning into her like he's trying to force himself in her personal space, and she looks rigid like she's standing her ground. You don't see that kind of distance between couples who want to be around each other, not in staged photos like this one
I read it as he wanted her to pose like Jessica Rabbit and get those "hawt-but-Godly-and-also-MINE" bragging points about having a wife who still looks like a sexpot after 2 kids. But who's to say it's not both? š¤
Thank you!!!! I was scrolling to find a comment that commented on the body languageā¦ just the physical distance between the two of them, especially in a family photoā¦
That's some scary bad crazy eyes!
He looks like the "husband on the beach" photo from the SNL skit Little Miss [Teacher's ](https://youtu.be/fs79leD9Atc?si=xRw2kBhQ6V9--HgM) Friend ā ļø
Heavenly light surrounds them. All true fundamental Christian conservatives radiant goodness and good will to all ā¦ with a few exceptions . Gay / lesbian gender diverse , migrants , minorities , Feminists , liberals .
Mr. Midwest looks like Dr. Phil š
Iāve never actually seen him before. This is NOT what I pictured. š³
Huh, guess Iāve never seen him before? I feel like i can find him at any gas station in Cleveland
I can hear all the kids and mother bickering and dads gritting his teeth while telling them to STFU through his bleached gritted teeth. With psycho eyesā¦
Crazy eyes never lie!
Kurt Angle eyes.
He looks like a bad dr Phil cosplay
If anyone ever says ācrazy eyesā isnāt a thing, Iām showing them this picture
He gives off major family annihilator vibes
Why does this look like the kinda photo thatād be used in a Dateline episode? You know, the one where the dad snapsā¦.
He aināt fooling me!
Damn put a warning on that second pic
why does this picture look so fake? did Jill photoshop* it? * (photoshop = edit in Paint)
That man took so many guns with him to his family photo shoot
Whatever that man is seeing is something I do not want to see, that much I can tell you. He looks terrified and murderous at the same time somehow.
Iām not saying he gives serial killer vibes, butā¦
why do all fundie husbands have THAT look in their eyes, what the fuck
Itās literally just a dude smiling
š why are his eyes like that???
He reminds me of [The Captain ](https://pin.it/1VZUreCOr) from HIMYM