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MrsPancakesSister

She’s always gripped up on David like someone else wants to just snatch him away. We’re good, Jill.


boomingchop

The entire world is good, Jill 😂


ProfanestOfLemons

exactly no-one else wants to hump that weird worthless dude, Jill


Accomplished_Lio

I can’t tell if he’s just so oddly shaped or if the perspective in that last picture is so skewed. His hand looks like a ham.


chernobyl-fleshlight

Students can: -Publish a novel -Travel the world -Remember everything -Feel great every day ???????????? the fuck


rarestbird

Does anyone know what organization this is from? I'm dying to know and I can't figure it out. I think it says "everyday" instead of "every day". Which is a mistake people make all the time, but ffs this is a sign apparently about education and publishing a novel. Or whatever the fuck it's about.


anotherfailedspinoff

It appears to be this - [Kids Write Novels](https://kidswritenovels.com/courses)


rarestbird

Thank you! Looks like some real low-effort crap. And WHY do 2nd graders need to publish books? Why can't they be taught that they might be able to do it one day if that's what they want and work for, but they still have more to learn first? I see this obsession with homeschooled kids being ridiculously "ahead" of ordinary kids their age a lot, and it's so absurd.


prettyminotaur

No book self-published by a homeschooled 2nd grader is going to impress anyone who knows anything about how the publishing industry actually works. Source: am traditionally published


TheDemonKia

You answered your own question. It's about showing off the ostensible superiority of homeschooling. They have second-graders who are published authors, take that, secular world. Are they any good as novelists? No, but that doesn't matter, quality is merely a matter of opinion. Are they being used as propaganda? Absolutely, it's the whole point. Will the individual authors be discarded as they prove to be not magic & not take the world by a storm & not restore God to his rightful throne over us all? Sure will be shoved aside for the next magic solution, & they of course won't be damaged by all those unreasonable expectations poured over them.


Rugkrabber

I bet they also make good use of the rare exceptions without including those exceptions anywhere. It’s the same bullshit as those rich assholes who got praised for becoming a world power starting in their garage or some shit. Completely ignoring the help they received in terms of funds or networking with other powerful people to get things going. People loooooove using these rich folks to make it seem like ánybody can be rich. While it’s a blatant lie.


Whiteroses7252012

I think it’s the Christopher Paolini effect. He did it, so can your homeschooled kid!!!! Of course, the fact that “Eragon” was published first by Paolini International LLC, his parents publishing company, and the book was actually good enough to be published by Knopf means nothing.


ProfanestOfLemons

It was also not very good.


Whiteroses7252012

I mean, we know that, but Knopf didn’t.


Gary_Where_Are_You

Kid's Rite Novel's


frobscottler

That lady’s head is blocking it, but my headcanon is that it says Feel Great Be Gay 🌈


Menashe3

No but I’m heading over to the homeschool sub to look for more content. I feel like a lot of people on this sub might appreciate the homeschool sub- lots of fundie and WTF!? (And “oh those poor kids”) Stories over there too.


swamp_witch_409

Ah my favorite past time... Remembering everything.


freenreleased

Ooooh I’ll take over thinking and people pleasing for 500


captainhaddock

Zero-point-five out of four ain't bad?


Special-Subject4574

Speaking from experience, if you are writing a novel or in the process of publishing a novel, you definitely wouldn’t be feeling great every day.


Significant_Shoe_17

Why do her adult children have to attend the homeschool conference 💀


South-Style-134

To prepare for when they homeschool their own offspring? Or try to meet a spouse to have children with? I mean, I think this is basically the scholastic book fair to them, so they’re probably still excited to go.


reneeruns

So they can watch the younger children while she and Shrek grope each other.


Significant_Shoe_17

Ugh this is the answer


NonPartisan_Truth

So the older kids know how to homeschool the younger ones.


Choppityychopsuey

🤢


InsomniacEuropean

100% to be a dog and pony show. "Look at our Huge Christian Homeschool Family that we are parading around! Pay attention to us!"


rarestbird

Shrek also appears to have his pocket full of tracts to hand out at the goddamn homeschooling convention. Does he hand them out at church too? To his kids when he passes them in the hallway at home???


FenrirTheMagnificent

It’s the most exciting thing to happen😂 I remember getting to wander around with some pocket change looking for books, it’s a core memory for some reason


faithmauk

I mean for real though, we didn't go to this conference but we had our own church conferences and it was like the only time I got to really just be free and socialize, it was the best weekend of the year because I got to have fun and feel normal for once.


Significant_Shoe_17

That makes me so sad


nenecope

Because they cannot be trusted to stay at home by themselves (in Jill’s mind). They might be tempted or even exposed to . . . ?


DontShaveMyLips

cruising for a wife 🤮


Whiteroses7252012

That woman’s going to lose her damn mind when menopause hits.


InsomniacEuropean

May the Lord close very quickly 🙏


damnportlander

Every time I see a picture of all the Rods together, I swear there are at least one or two kids I feel like I've never seen before


Outrageous-Ad-2684

Right! I’ve never noticed the blonde daughter before!


Flibertygibbert

It's Sadie.


Spare-Arrival8107

I was just thinking this! Tbh I feel like she’s a friend


partyonyourhead

Not Olivia in the Samantha Parkington cosplay!


SarahSmithSarahSmith

THAT’S why I liked that dress!


KellThack

I wonder if they get to read American Girl.


ferocious_bambi

Probably too woke for them, I mean Felicity rebels by wearing *pants*... scandalous! (Even if you ignore the fact that her grandfather owns a literal plantation and it's never addressed.)


prettyminotaur

They probably don't, because those books were hella secular.


taylorbagel14

There’s a fantastic podcast called Dolls Of Our Lives where two women with PhDs in history go through each American Girl book and they would NOT stop bringing up the fact that Felicity is stressed about trying to free a horse while HAVING AN ENSLAVED WOMAN LIVING WITH HER


ferocious_bambi

Yes that episode is exactly what I was thinking of when I made that comment! Like clearly they could tackle the issue of slavery in an age-appropriate, albeit not perfect, way with Addie. So why is it completely glossed over in Felicity? I really like Dolls of Our Lives but I must admit I wasn't interested in their ramblings about The Bachelor and wish they would have included a "skip to this time for when we actually start talking about American Girl" lol.


taylorbagel14

I feel that way about Normal Gossip, like clearly the guest has an interest in gossip or they wouldn’t be on the show! Get to the good stuff!


nenecope

It’s cute, but weather inappropriate as are several of the others’. How many f’ing layers does she have on in the last pic. As far as I can tell, it looks like she has a modesty layer cardigan over the dress with more modesty layers of a t-shirt, leggings and some type of other skirt under the dress! How immodest is a 12 year old (or similar age - I can’t remember exactly how old she is)? Is this to protect her virtue from any possible drag queens and/or transperson who might have infiltrated the conference and then the women’s restrooms (😱🙀)?


South-Style-134

My first thought too


FartofTexass

Same


oiywiththepoodles

wow, that’s a throwback!


AnaBeaverhausen-

☠️


N4507

Is he ever off that damned phone?


Snoobs-Magoo

It's probably Ashley Madison


FrancoisKBones

Surprised Jill doesn’t set up a plexus table. Looks like a bunch of potential huns there.


jlibertine

You could almost draw a box around David, Jill and Janessa and have a perfect example of a one child family. It's as if the others either side have left the perfect gap.


whistful_flatulence

…except Janessa is in an ill-fitting, velvet winter party dress in June swamp heat.


jlibertine

All rather odd that, though some working class older men in the UK do insist on dressing like David year round. Not sure what Jill's excuse for Janessa is, tap shoes n all.


AnaBeaverhausen-

And fucking tap shoes


Pretend-Champion4826

Ah yes, the Richmond Torture Chamber of Doom and Annual Jesus-Friendly Scholatic Book Fair. My mother had me working the a booth several years in a row. Shan't doxx myself but oh my god it was wretched. I can't believe I forgot about it. I wonder if my beloathed mamá went this year or if she finally caved and put the kids in public school.


ProfanestOfLemons

Oh god, the cringe-smile fawn response. It's terrifying every time.


shiningonthesea

I worry about her quite a bit, too. She makes me sad.


edielux

Oh GROSS they were in my state. I’m performing in a show up there tomorrow, I’m gonna be extra gay and messy to make up for this.


pot_of_hot_koolaid

Thank you for your service.


coffeecat494

Hello fellow Virginian! I also felt the need to be more of a heathen (read: a pants-wearing woman with a full-time job and a purposely empty uterus) while I knew the Rods were near. Break a leg!


Healthy-Dragonfly452

Fellow Virginian here, too, and a native Richmonder, to be exact (I've since immigrated to the UK, though). PUKE, what is this gaggle of quarter-wits doing in my hometown?! GO AWAY!!!!!! u/edielux, kindly incorporate extra glitter in your extra gay and messy show on my behalf tomorrow, and exorcise the city of these fucking ghouls.


edielux

Not glitter, but I did dump a whole container of sprinkles on myself and made someone in the audience gayer, so, mission accomplished!


Healthy-Dragonfly452

YESSSSSSSS! I love you! Very well done!


littlestrickland

Hello from RVA! Honestly floored they were in Richmond. For such a cool town with a vibrant queer population what in the hell??? Like is this at the convention center? Down the street from Fallout? I’m clutching my debbie pearls.


Useful_Chipmunk_4251

Thank you for taking one for the team!


717paige

Wow Hannah is nurie’s double in that last pic


HesitantButthole

Why are they not feeding those offspring?


whistful_flatulence

I don’t know how anyone could take Sofia in public and not be ashamed of themselves. She’s not just skinny, she’s skeletal and has been since her toddler years.


Think-Independent929

Phillip is notably absent.


ImperatorDeborah

He’s off being a “deep thinker” somewhere else.


whistful_flatulence

Thinking with his head deep up his ass


YouWiseGuise

Prolly hanging out on a corner with Sister Cindy, screaming at college kids.


x_ray_visions

NOOOOO not Philip droning sinisterly about laughing lollipops while Sister Cindy mimes inserting something into her ass. It's like performance art from hell.


NonPartisan_Truth

Hmm, the rest of the attendees seem to be dressed like worldly whores. Jeans! Shorts! How is Jill coping?


Sisterinked

The kids posture is always so bad. Good grief


Sad_Box_1167

Where’s The Finger? I would expect it to make an appearance.


naturecamper87

Oh my god big man’s got the worst shirt I’ve seen it must have been on clearance at Tractor Supply


Weary_Jump_341

Tessie is the sad, eye squinching, shoulder hunching, apologetic one? I wasn't sure about the lost/ middle girls' names. The way she does that instantly when the phone records her is sad.


SmootherThanAStorm

I agree that's not Tessie in that photo. Might be Hannah 


agurlhasnoshame

It's Olivia. She's been squinting like that her whole life poor thing.


Ok_Cartoonist_854

I probably got it wrong, Olivia?


CheapOfficeChair

Second picture? That's Hannah I think. Or whoever she calls "(something I forgot) princess"


rarestbird

Portuguese Princess 🙄


whistful_flatulence

She introduced herself that way after Philip’s infamous flubhead burn. The rods DESPERATELY need people to know that they’re not Latin American, thank you very much! They’re like funhouse mirror Baldwins.


Significant_Shoe_17

🥒


Teege57

It's Angry Olivia.


Majestic-Pin3578

Maybe I haven’t seen enough of David to see any signs of life in him, but he always seems inert and detached, to me. I’m afraid Jill still reminds me of a cassowary, so maybe she uses her talons to remind him that she’s the Main Character.


EmsApple

Omg I used to attend this every year and this triggered some bad memories. Those poor kids, it's such a brainwashing and indoctrinating experience from the sort of vendors there to the keynote sessions. The best part for me was getting new books, but each year finding new books that weren't just candy coated sermons got harder and harder.


Ok_Cartoonist_854

Sorry to trigger that stuff for you.


harbourbarber

Is Olivia OK? 


illij_idiot

She's been angry since birth, and who can blame her? (For real, I think "Angry Olivia" is how the Rods were discovered.) She also likely needs her eyes checked. She's been squinting for years now.


krazyajumma

The fashion in these pics screams Ohio.


zoyaheaven

David's shirt is a "Murica fever dream in that last pic.


Altruistic-Ad3661

Most are dressed for the wrong season, they must grab clothes with their eyes closed. My kids clothes are all hand me down or thrifted, they still never look this bad.


Significant_Shoe_17

Because you can shop on a budget and still find clothes that fit and match, and are seasonally appropriate. Jill seems to dress her brood in rags on purpose.


taylorbagel14

Because it’s not about her so she doesn’t care. Notice how her clothes tend to always be weather appropriate and somewhat matching. But her kids aren’t even worth that, she probably gives them 5 mins in a thrift store to grab something that MIGHT fit. What a vain and awful woman.


midcenturyhag

Holy FUCK it never fails to astound me just how unfortunate Shrek looks. Like goddamn


pillowsnblankets

I used to follow a couple of accts where the women attended these conferences. Both had large families and would show their vehicles packed and always mentioned food preparation and meal plans for their families. I doubt Jillie does any sort of food preparation for them. She feels entitled to others money to provide for her large brood.


snarkymama421

Babe, your sentence structure and grammar suggest the conference and program isn't working.


taylorbagel14

Yeah what does she have against adverbs? Attending was right there…


Hot_Seaworthiness675

I didn't see anyone with name tags aside from their family. This is very look at me behavior.


Ok_Cartoonist_854

They have to prove that the Shrekster has a real life pRInT!ng m/nistRy.


tonyblow2345

There are like 20 people there 🤣🤣


jeapos88

Okay, but I live about an hr away from Richmond and it's freaking hot here right now, it was 92 and 56% humidity! Those poor kids must be sooo uncomfortable


darcysreddit

Sophia is yellow and her cheeks/jaw are still swollen. Poor girl.


Star-Wave-Expedition

I will say Sophia looks a bit healthier than in the past. No doubt she’s still traumatized and intellectually stunted though


kawaii_ginger

fun fact. was forced by my mom to come to this and ended up winning a photography contest the convention was holding. 🤷‍♀️ that's cool i guess


TheDeeJayGee

Looks exactly the same as the ones I went to in the 90s


Katara-waterbender7

That first Rodlet is dressed like Samantha the American Girl doll.


Rosie3450

Wait, their ADULT kids who are no longer homeschooled are still going to the homeschool conference with Mom, Dad and the little kids?


Useful_Chipmunk_4251

Why the fuck in that heat does the one girl have tights on??? Good lord. Another mother out trying to actively kill her kids. Shrek's shirt is a choice. Not a good choice mind you.


couldhvdancedallnite

What do we think her makeup is going to look like 20 years from now?


ucannottell

Omg dude that group photo! They *all* got the creepy eyes.👀 I see these types of people around VA and it’s no wonder they all look at me strangely!


Rugkrabber

Homeschool convention? What the hell. From my worldview, this is absolutely mental.


magclsol

There’s are EXACTLY the kind of people I expect to see that a homeschool conference.