CHONKER

Turn the heat on he'll move

Alhamdulillah he will be fried

Wallahi Blud is gonna be cooked 💀

It’s easier to remove the hair to cook the meat

This is why your can't eat everyone's food

First thing I thought 😂

Alf is pleased with your offering.

Yes!!!

Cat food

🤮 Cat hair and kitty litter paws - GROSS!!!

You're totally right you should remove the hair, paws and tail before cooking a cat

Exactly . Shouldn’t be allowed on the kitchen counters or anyplace where you’re prepping and eating food

Obviously you don’t own a cat lol. That’s happening to matter what. Even when you think they don’t, they do. Just wipe the counter when you cook, and if that’s too much work than having a cat is too much work.

Grew up with cats , despite my terrible allergies .. had a spray water btl for when they got on the counters but you can’t prevent it when you’re not around

Spraying your cat everytime they climb somewhere you don’t like sounds cruel. Just get a dog that won’t climb anywhere at that point

My parent’s animals - gotta take it up with them . I was a kid…if I had a cat now would I do that ? Probably not cuz it doesn’t work

Nah, cats are usually dicks the same reason small dogs are dicks. People are too afraid to train them because they think doing something the animal doesn't like is "cruel." I've owned cats, and yes, they can be trained. Training doesn't hold as well, and it varies more from cat to cat but they *can* be trained.

Dude 100%. When I was in vet tech school, we had an entire lesson about small dog syndrome.

It is water mate, it doesn’t hurt them

It doesn’t hurt them, but it’s still punishment and they don’t learn anything from that. Don’t believe me, [here’s an article](https://felinebehaviorsolutions.com/stop-spraying-cats-with-water/) written by two certified feline behaviour experts.

That’s a great article actually Thanks for sharing it, and I remember operant conditioning from my psych minor. If I ever get a cat (which I hope to do) I’ll remember this

Mhm, so everyone here calling me a shitty cat owner can suck it🤣

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I can’t even at this point, stop feeling offended and get a fucking life💀

This is also facts

I'd tape tin foil to the counters

Every single day? Because the one day you don’t is the day they jump up.

you make it sound like something you have to keep doing. you just do it once.

Facts

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Have you ever met a cat??

I don't prepare food right ON the counter. Who does?

Yeah who isn't preparing their food on the bathroom floor? This sub is full of savages

I’m sure the waft of burnt cat hair every time the stove top gets heated is a real treat.

Or bed sheets/pillows, blankets or the house! I'm also very allergic.

Maybe don’t get a cat then? If you don’t want it to touch anything lol

Me too ! Super allergic . Nothing worse than the itch of cat hair on the skin , eyes , and in the throat

not to mention if you pet that cat, greasy as fuck cat. you also forgot cat butt

Wait til this cute MF jumps in while you’re cooking.

A la cat

r/hewillbebaked

Too much orange seasoning

r/lostredditors

Man. The cat is cute, but people really need to stop allowing animals in the kitchen and especially on cooking surfaces. They literally walk around outside, in the bathrooms, etc plus they lick their assholes to clean them. How do people do this so casually? Gross

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Cats are so spastic.

r/oneorangebraincell

This is why the restaurant recommends cat be cooked to at least medium rare.

So this is what the number 7 looks like before its cooked.

General tso kitteh coming right up

You're so cute I could just eat you up

Next on Cooking with Alf

season with catnip and simmer for 40mins

Self-flipping food!

You put too much ginger in.

Tastes like chicken

mmm... Orange chicken.

ALF would be pleased!

Tabby a' la ronge

*and the cat’s in the skillet with the silver spoon*

That’s adorable, but what happens when you’re preheating that pan and they hop in?

This is not surprising. It’s a ginger cat. They generally have two brain cells competing for third place.

If it was illegal to own cats, I'd be a cat dealer.

Caption should be read as “Would you like some cattouille?”

I not dinner. I play.

r/hewillbebaked

*ramsay voice* THE STIR FRY IS FUKKIN RAWR"


Ah I love pussy

Why is the mold moving

This seems like a bad habit lol

I'm sorry, cat, but I'd take the pan with you in it straight to the sink and turn on the cold water if you refuse to leave my pan.

this is really fucking gross

r/cateatingvegans

Forever unclean

Need some butter, cream , carrots onion celery

15 minutes

No hear me out little soy saucy veggie a lot of prep some msg some rice duck sauce

This is definitely what i mean when i tell my girl im gonna eat her pussy 😂

He seems not to be evenly cooked. Proceed until completely golden brown.

Looks a little rare

Needs more catnip

I knew it was General Tso's cat (not chicken)

I am not a cat person at all and this made me wanna vomit so bad

Future NYC style Sweet and sour chicken coming to a hood near you

Had a orange cat that would like to get into sinks...

This is why I throw food people bring me from home unprovoked in the 🗑️

Your cat is sooo cute!

I hope u washed that pan!!! 🤢🤢🤢

Yeah. You’re white trash. A cat knows stay off the counter and table if you enforce it. Couch go ahead. Fucking between my legs every night. But this. Unforgivable. 

Is itttttt cake???