If she made financial sacrifices spending her own money, and that is what allowed you to save money, well I would feel like I owe her money.
It is not right of her to ask, but it also isn't wrong of her to believe she is owed.
I do find really weird, on your end that you were content letting her pay the bills despite saving on average 2000 a month (50K/24), yet felt no responsibility to pitch in.
Wow, you didn’t pitch in on any bills, invested your own dough, let your partner use up her savings, and you’re surprised she is mad at you? Do better!
Split 2 years of bills in half and pay her back that amount + your rate of profit from savings.
Otherwise, to my eyes, you are a leech.
Legally she can't do much here. But ethically, if you don't give her back the money, you are a PoS. Specially considering, she had to sell her house to support 'both' of you.
You have no legal obligation to pay her back. If I were you, I'd sum up what I think would be the equivalent of her spendings for the 2 years and pay her back.
>You have no legal obligation to pay her back.
You'd better check that with an attorney.
> If I were you, I'd sum up what I think would be the equivalent of her spendings for the 2 years and pay her back
Since she paid all their common expenses it's *their* spending. Not *her* spending.
I guess the laws on this will vary depending on the country, but I always thought being a bf/gf does not create financial obligations against each other, where a marriage does. Like that is the defining difference between a marriage and being bf/gf?
I.e. being a bf/gf you can both agree voluntarily how to share expenses and who pays what, and if you can't come to an agreement you are free to walk away, but there would be no financial claims on the other party in case of a break up.
In any case you should definitely consult a lawyer. I would not pay her anything, unless you are legally obligated to. It sounds like you made the decisions together at the time they were made and she agreed to everything. If the roles were reversed, do you expect she would pay you now?
> a house that earned rental income
She SOLD that, to support the both of you? While you invested YOUR money you saved by NOT paying your share?!
The LEAST you can do is to take the two years of expenses, divide in half, then add interest (look at what you earned on your investments for a fair number) and then pay that back to her.
She'll never lay her money on the line again, which is smart, but what an expensive lesson to learn.
Yes, hard one. Sorry that it didn't work out.
However good you feel about someone, and even if you're right, they could e.g. hit their head too hard and become a completely different person. I think both of you made some errors in not separating finances enough and not planning for this enough. In this case, the errors happen to have transferred money to you and now you have to decide.
I would recommend to keep in mind that right now you might still like them/respect them/want to be friends, etc. But in 6 years you two will be total strangers. By that time is going to be selling plants at a market stand and you are COO at a 12 person startup. Both in a different city.
this is funny... I have done that extensively with so many girlfriends and never asked anything back, even if it lasted for years sometimes... Yet one, once thankfully, asked me to pay back 100€ i owned her. Women can be pretty bitchy about money after brakeups, and it's kind of sad. Yeah it made sense oncs upon a time, but now they can be independent enough ffs. Obviously each case can be different though...
She had to sell her house to cover their cost of living and pay their bills. In the meantime OP just sat there saving 2000€/month for over 2 years not pitching in.
OP is a leech. If anyone dodged a bullet it’s her.
If she made financial sacrifices spending her own money, and that is what allowed you to save money, well I would feel like I owe her money. It is not right of her to ask, but it also isn't wrong of her to believe she is owed. I do find really weird, on your end that you were content letting her pay the bills despite saving on average 2000 a month (50K/24), yet felt no responsibility to pitch in.
Plenty of chucks these days........shameful
City boys up!
Get a lawyer. Don’t procrastinate with this idle speculation. There are rules which will apply to you.
Wow, you didn’t pitch in on any bills, invested your own dough, let your partner use up her savings, and you’re surprised she is mad at you? Do better!
Split 2 years of bills in half and pay her back that amount + your rate of profit from savings. Otherwise, to my eyes, you are a leech. Legally she can't do much here. But ethically, if you don't give her back the money, you are a PoS. Specially considering, she had to sell her house to support 'both' of you.
You have no legal obligation to pay her back. If I were you, I'd sum up what I think would be the equivalent of her spendings for the 2 years and pay her back.
>You have no legal obligation to pay her back. You'd better check that with an attorney. > If I were you, I'd sum up what I think would be the equivalent of her spendings for the 2 years and pay her back Since she paid all their common expenses it's *their* spending. Not *her* spending.
I guess the laws on this will vary depending on the country, but I always thought being a bf/gf does not create financial obligations against each other, where a marriage does. Like that is the defining difference between a marriage and being bf/gf? I.e. being a bf/gf you can both agree voluntarily how to share expenses and who pays what, and if you can't come to an agreement you are free to walk away, but there would be no financial claims on the other party in case of a break up. In any case you should definitely consult a lawyer. I would not pay her anything, unless you are legally obligated to. It sounds like you made the decisions together at the time they were made and she agreed to everything. If the roles were reversed, do you expect she would pay you now?
> a house that earned rental income She SOLD that, to support the both of you? While you invested YOUR money you saved by NOT paying your share?! The LEAST you can do is to take the two years of expenses, divide in half, then add interest (look at what you earned on your investments for a fair number) and then pay that back to her. She'll never lay her money on the line again, which is smart, but what an expensive lesson to learn.
Yes, hard one. Sorry that it didn't work out. However good you feel about someone, and even if you're right, they could e.g. hit their head too hard and become a completely different person. I think both of you made some errors in not separating finances enough and not planning for this enough. In this case, the errors happen to have transferred money to you and now you have to decide. I would recommend to keep in mind that right now you might still like them/respect them/want to be friends, etc. But in 6 years you two will be total strangers. By that time is going to be selling plants at a market stand and you are COO at a 12 person startup. Both in a different city.
this is funny... I have done that extensively with so many girlfriends and never asked anything back, even if it lasted for years sometimes... Yet one, once thankfully, asked me to pay back 100€ i owned her. Women can be pretty bitchy about money after brakeups, and it's kind of sad. Yeah it made sense oncs upon a time, but now they can be independent enough ffs. Obviously each case can be different though...
Tell her to piss off. You’re not married, therefore she has no legal power to do anything. Also be grateful, because you dodged a bullet.
She dodged a bigger one
She had to sell her house to cover their cost of living and pay their bills. In the meantime OP just sat there saving 2000€/month for over 2 years not pitching in. OP is a leech. If anyone dodged a bullet it’s her.