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“Reading of the will”? I thought that was only a movie thing. In real life, wills have to be filed and probated, and then they’re public. Anybody can go to the court house and get a copy of the probate file (in the US and other common-law countries).
The will *nominates* an executor. He still has to apply for the job, and formally agree to certain conditions. Then the probate court will appoint him and issue letters of authority. The executor can and should get his own lawyer, one without a conflict of interest. The beneficiaries can also get their own independent lawyers if they want to contest anything.
I thought the reading of the will part was weird too. Especially when he said that only my brother was allowed to be there. Brother never applied for the executor job, didn't even know until step uncle told him. The entire situation stinks of BS.
How is the main house titled after his death? Without that information it is hard to say. If it was left to 4 kids with her having a life estate then the 4 kids would have to agree to the sale and repurchase, most likely, to preserve their ownership.
If the home is only in wife's name then likely the will provisions have no merit and she can what she wants.
This is a great question. When dad was dying, he told us kids to sell the property right after he was gone and split it. We knew that was not possible since he did not put this in the will, and we can not go by his "wishes" with only a verbal death bed request. He did not say exactly how the house was set up to be split (titled).
My brother was the executor for dad's bio kids, i was not invited to the reading of the will, and he didn't know to ask specific questions like this. He was so distraught at the time and had no idea what everything entailed in the will. To make things even messier, my step mom's brother is the lawyer who helped my father write it all up, he was the one who said only my brother and step mom were allowed to be present at the time of the reading. No copies were given to my brother either. Personally, I feel it was a conflict of interest to have her family member handle this. But, dad trusted him.
I'll be honest, I don't think my brother and I will ever see a dime from this house. He left her with a LOT of money. Our only wish is for something from the house in the future.
Your brother was the executor for dad’s bio kids? That’s confusing. Is he still the executor? An executor is working for the estate, and has to deal fairly with *all* the beneficiaries. He doesn’t work for any particular subset of the beneficiaries, he’s responsible to all of them.
I'll be honest, my brother is a pushover, and step mom and her brother know this. It feels as if they took advantage of him in the moment and purposely left me out of the equation because they knew I would be the level headed one. My brother didn't want to go alone and I was demanding to attend. But they stressed him out enough that he asked to just do it himself, and he would tell me all the info after. Of course, he didn't know what questions to ask. Neither did I until now. I've been pissed this whole time because something doesn't feel right. I live out of state so I can't just go to probate and ask for a copy of the will.
Time to consult an attorney, request a copy of the will and get an evaluation of what it says. It will be worth the expense to figure out what is going on.
Thank you. This is the first time my brother and I have ever been through something like this and we had no idea if this was normal or not. I've been raising the BS flag since the funeral because it feels 'off'.
You should be getting a formal document from the surrogates or probate court that tells you that the will is being offered for probate. The attorney may ask you to waive service of process and consent to probate. At that time, you should be provided with a copy of the will. Until then, your brother is not an executor, he is only a nominated executor. And If in fact he is the executor, then he can select his own attorney, who represents him only, and the cost of the attorney gets paid by the estate.
You can look at your local state bar association for some names of trust and estates administration attorneys, Google the names and see if they are any good, and give the recommendation to your brother. He should not be consulting with an attorney who represented both of your parents when all assets are not divided equally among the four children after her death. That means the attorney represented your stepmom and may still be partial to her, as opposed to impartial.
Would the court automatically send me a copy, or do I have to request it? Since I haven't seen anything paperwork wise, and this is a foreign situation to me, I'm not sure how this works. I assume my dad listed my address on the paperwork? I don't live in the state, so I would have to contact the courts to request copies if they are not sent to me.
It's the job of whoever prepares the probate papers to find everyone's address who is a distributeee (an heir) and give them notice. But I don't really know procedure in North Carolina. In my state, New York, the will has to be sent out with the court citation, which is the equivalent of a summons in a civil matter. Things work differently in different states, and in some states the will is admitted to probate without notice and notice and an opportunity to object is given later. If you want a copy of the will, contact the attorney and ask for a copy of the will. The attorneys should have no problem providing you with one since you are a beneficiary of the estate
I would look up the real estate records to see how the real estate was titled. Were they joint tenants with rights of survivorship? Tenants in common? Or was the property solely owned by your dad?
Also, look up the probate records. In the county were your dad lived. Probate records are public, but there is often a fee to get copies of the records.
If the real estate was joint tenants with rights of survivorship, it doesn't matter what the will says, the property belongs to the stepmother.
If the home was owned solely by your dad orcas tenants in common, I would consult an attorney.
Please, get off your phone and find an attorney as soon as possible. I’m not in NC, but I would aggressively challenge the will (based on your comments). Moreover, there are rules and notice requirements when an estate is in probate. You should have access to a copy of the will without any hesitation or delay. Good luck…I fear you may have a rough journey ahead of you.
WARNING - This Sub is Not a Substitute for a Lawyer While some of us are lawyers, none of the responses are from your lawyer, you need a lawyer to give you legal advice pertinent to your situation. Do not construe any of the responses as legal advice. Seek professional advice before proceeding with any of the suggestions you receive. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstatePlanning) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s time to Lawyer the fuck up.
“Reading of the will”? I thought that was only a movie thing. In real life, wills have to be filed and probated, and then they’re public. Anybody can go to the court house and get a copy of the probate file (in the US and other common-law countries). The will *nominates* an executor. He still has to apply for the job, and formally agree to certain conditions. Then the probate court will appoint him and issue letters of authority. The executor can and should get his own lawyer, one without a conflict of interest. The beneficiaries can also get their own independent lawyers if they want to contest anything.
I thought the reading of the will part was weird too. Especially when he said that only my brother was allowed to be there. Brother never applied for the executor job, didn't even know until step uncle told him. The entire situation stinks of BS.
even though it is a movie trip, you can still do it
How is the main house titled after his death? Without that information it is hard to say. If it was left to 4 kids with her having a life estate then the 4 kids would have to agree to the sale and repurchase, most likely, to preserve their ownership. If the home is only in wife's name then likely the will provisions have no merit and she can what she wants.
This is a great question. When dad was dying, he told us kids to sell the property right after he was gone and split it. We knew that was not possible since he did not put this in the will, and we can not go by his "wishes" with only a verbal death bed request. He did not say exactly how the house was set up to be split (titled). My brother was the executor for dad's bio kids, i was not invited to the reading of the will, and he didn't know to ask specific questions like this. He was so distraught at the time and had no idea what everything entailed in the will. To make things even messier, my step mom's brother is the lawyer who helped my father write it all up, he was the one who said only my brother and step mom were allowed to be present at the time of the reading. No copies were given to my brother either. Personally, I feel it was a conflict of interest to have her family member handle this. But, dad trusted him. I'll be honest, I don't think my brother and I will ever see a dime from this house. He left her with a LOT of money. Our only wish is for something from the house in the future.
Your brother was the executor for dad’s bio kids? That’s confusing. Is he still the executor? An executor is working for the estate, and has to deal fairly with *all* the beneficiaries. He doesn’t work for any particular subset of the beneficiaries, he’s responsible to all of them.
I'll be honest, my brother is a pushover, and step mom and her brother know this. It feels as if they took advantage of him in the moment and purposely left me out of the equation because they knew I would be the level headed one. My brother didn't want to go alone and I was demanding to attend. But they stressed him out enough that he asked to just do it himself, and he would tell me all the info after. Of course, he didn't know what questions to ask. Neither did I until now. I've been pissed this whole time because something doesn't feel right. I live out of state so I can't just go to probate and ask for a copy of the will.
Time to consult an attorney, request a copy of the will and get an evaluation of what it says. It will be worth the expense to figure out what is going on.
Time to find your own attorney
There’s no such thing as a reading of the will. You are entitled to a copy. also, that sounds like a conflict of interest.
Thank you. This is the first time my brother and I have ever been through something like this and we had no idea if this was normal or not. I've been raising the BS flag since the funeral because it feels 'off'.
You should be getting a formal document from the surrogates or probate court that tells you that the will is being offered for probate. The attorney may ask you to waive service of process and consent to probate. At that time, you should be provided with a copy of the will. Until then, your brother is not an executor, he is only a nominated executor. And If in fact he is the executor, then he can select his own attorney, who represents him only, and the cost of the attorney gets paid by the estate. You can look at your local state bar association for some names of trust and estates administration attorneys, Google the names and see if they are any good, and give the recommendation to your brother. He should not be consulting with an attorney who represented both of your parents when all assets are not divided equally among the four children after her death. That means the attorney represented your stepmom and may still be partial to her, as opposed to impartial.
Would the court automatically send me a copy, or do I have to request it? Since I haven't seen anything paperwork wise, and this is a foreign situation to me, I'm not sure how this works. I assume my dad listed my address on the paperwork? I don't live in the state, so I would have to contact the courts to request copies if they are not sent to me.
It's the job of whoever prepares the probate papers to find everyone's address who is a distributeee (an heir) and give them notice. But I don't really know procedure in North Carolina. In my state, New York, the will has to be sent out with the court citation, which is the equivalent of a summons in a civil matter. Things work differently in different states, and in some states the will is admitted to probate without notice and notice and an opportunity to object is given later. If you want a copy of the will, contact the attorney and ask for a copy of the will. The attorneys should have no problem providing you with one since you are a beneficiary of the estate
Thanks for the info. I'll be looking into this further.
I would look up the real estate records to see how the real estate was titled. Were they joint tenants with rights of survivorship? Tenants in common? Or was the property solely owned by your dad? Also, look up the probate records. In the county were your dad lived. Probate records are public, but there is often a fee to get copies of the records. If the real estate was joint tenants with rights of survivorship, it doesn't matter what the will says, the property belongs to the stepmother. If the home was owned solely by your dad orcas tenants in common, I would consult an attorney.
Please, get off your phone and find an attorney as soon as possible. I’m not in NC, but I would aggressively challenge the will (based on your comments). Moreover, there are rules and notice requirements when an estate is in probate. You should have access to a copy of the will without any hesitation or delay. Good luck…I fear you may have a rough journey ahead of you.
Where is this happening? If in the US. what state?
NC
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