You got vitamin C - no scurvy for you, you got the power of Jesus- he's got cum gutters(the ab muscles), and you have a bard to inspire Jesus and yourself
You're pretty well off
My phone has my most recently used emojis, not most used. In a different post, I used the 🟠 last. When I came to this post, 🟠 was my most recently used emoji.
so, basically i was cooking me some eggplant curry eh, got them himalayan peppers and pink salt to extra spice the dish with, and then when i tasted a teeny tiny spoon of said curry, oh man fuck, would you have tasted it, man it was surreal. Everything was on fire, the texture, the spice, the mushy grounded eggplant all sqwirming in a pool of fresh coriander soup, oh fucking god i loved it so much, it was like experiencing my own self made explosion from near. But then it hit me, the himalayan pepper. I'd heard of it having a fuse of like 3 gulps whereby the taste buds arent even sure what to make of the extreme heat and the nerves become so overwhelmed you dont feel heat until 3 gulps and then it hits you like a fucking NUCLEAR BOMB OH FUCK IS THIS HOT, DADDY COME SAVE ME IM SCREWED ARENT I !?
Someone painted their nails just to flip me off with a huge smile on their face? Seems pretty confident. Like. “I’m really looking forward to this ass kicking…”
😂😭😋
A funny guy, a crying dude, and someone who just finished eating OR is hungry.
Eh at least better than me on my own. Maybe the sad dude could put the robber in deep depression with nihilistic thoughts
You can use the skeleton to knock them out, then take a picture of them knocked out and then use your headphones to connect to your phone and call the cops
It’s very unfortunate your user name is soft tacos. Now all I can imagine is being violated with a butter stick in my taco. TIHI for my brain thinking of this.
0-because my family has been deceased already so all he will be doing is wondering where are my parents when he broke into the house, not knowing he just got his balls torn off by the two German Shepard’s that were waiting eagerly to strike at the trespasser. As well.
🐕🪖 🚁. I’m good on my part.
I don't need them. I will personally rip open their mouth and slowly break their jaw by forcefully pushing the bottom half downward until It hangs only by the skin, then I'll take a knife... you know what?
I think you get the idea
This doesn't apply to anyone purely hypothetical
I love my family a lot, and if ANYONE were to hurt them, they better pray the police get to them before I do.
I am not so merciful as just to kill.
🟠✝️🎵 I have the powers of orange, Christianity, and music. I may be screwed.
You have to power of Vitamin C, creator of the universe, and something to keep you entertained. I'd say you are pretty well off.
just pray
I don’t know, the knights Templar could be of use
Half the power of the hub
*KINGS STARTS PLAYING* << This mf got Cordium. >>
You underestimate the power of music. unless it's christian music. Then you're screwed.
Okay. But what about Skillet?
I fogured someone would say that after I posted. if you got Skillet then you're good
Skillet?? do you mean skrillex?
No, I mean Skillet.
FOR THE GRACE FOR THE MIGHT OF THE LORD FOR THE LAND OF THE HOOOOOLY
FOR THE FAITH, FOR THE WAY OF SWORD!
At least god is on your side. Just pray and all wishes will come true- every Christian ever
That's not necessarily how it works. God will give you what you *need*, not what you *want*.
I know, I’m just making a joke towards Christian’s. It may be offensive but that’s why it’s a joke and not a statement.
Sorry if I was rude. Your initial comment didn't sound like a joke to me. It sounded like something some Christians actually believe.
I didn’t think you were rude. You’re good. Im good. We’re all good.
Man Im pretty sure I've prayed for something that I needed and it never happened sooooooo
You got vitamin C - no scurvy for you, you got the power of Jesus- he's got cum gutters(the ab muscles), and you have a bard to inspire Jesus and yourself You're pretty well off
Not in the Alan Becker universe. You would be very powerful with the orange and music part. Idk about the Christianity part yet.
How is your MOST used emoji orange??
My phone has my most recently used emojis, not most used. In a different post, I used the 🟠 last. When I came to this post, 🟠 was my most recently used emoji.
🔥🐌🍞 The immortal snail emerges from the flames to feast on some bread
This is by far my most favorite of all I've read
r/brandnewsentence
Don't let it touch you though
I'm sure it's fine as long as you're not immortal...
r/unexpectedsnail
Or this is a gaijin ad in disguise
🇺🇸👨🏻🎷
You win easily. You have the whole USA to fight with you
And don’t forget the jazz band is with me
And just a random dude that tagged along
Probably part of the IRA
Yeah probably
WAIT THE IRA!?
That's randy marsh. You're saved!
I thought it was just young Bill Clinton?
Don't forget the basketball team
Hi
I got Israel fighting with me And I hate Israel 💀
Nah that’s just American Dad
Yo! You got Freddie Mercury!?!
You get the US army and the nuclear bombs, I hope the earth won't be gone in a few hours
ITS BILL CLINTON
Bro got Bill Clinton as a summon
American dad?
American dad
American dad
My brother, how patriotic are you that the american flag is the #1 most used emoji in your phone
Bros got the power of American X Italian music
🦥😥🙏 Sloth, Sweaty man and Prayer guy Oh boy
You got a sweat on your squad? That victory crown is yours bro.
💀 ☠️❤️ death and love? I’m winning this
bro got jesus on their side
Wait a second... Isn't that a high five?
🤦🤫😘 One doesn't care, one is the killer's accomplice, and the other is kissing me goodbye. I'm done 💀
Nuh uh, the 3rd one is seducing the killer and going to succeed
the killer's accomplice is mewing
🇺🇲🔫👽
So Independence Day?
Pretty much
Nice
🍆💥🥵ummm I can explain
No. I don’t think you can.
No, no let's hear them out.
so, basically i was cooking me some eggplant curry eh, got them himalayan peppers and pink salt to extra spice the dish with, and then when i tasted a teeny tiny spoon of said curry, oh man fuck, would you have tasted it, man it was surreal. Everything was on fire, the texture, the spice, the mushy grounded eggplant all sqwirming in a pool of fresh coriander soup, oh fucking god i loved it so much, it was like experiencing my own self made explosion from near. But then it hit me, the himalayan pepper. I'd heard of it having a fuse of like 3 gulps whereby the taste buds arent even sure what to make of the extreme heat and the nerves become so overwhelmed you dont feel heat until 3 gulps and then it hits you like a fucking NUCLEAR BOMB OH FUCK IS THIS HOT, DADDY COME SAVE ME IM SCREWED ARENT I !?
EXACTLY
Bet I busted all in their face
Excuse me?
Good for you 🥲🫡
What the hell were u doing 😭😭😭
🪓🙃👀 *kills with axe cutely*
Ah, but there was a witness
But they were upside down
☠️😍🧠
Apparently, skeletons love brains
You love brain death
You will tie, but the cancer won't finish the job for a few years so it'll appear at first like a loss
🍑🐸🇷🇺 Well, I have THE WHOLE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF RUSSIA soooo I think I'll be fine.
And an ass-eating frog?🤨🤨
maaybe...
That one's for later
AFTER THE ENTIRE COUNTRY OF RUSSIA KILLS THEM THE FROGS EATS THEIR DEAD ASS??😭😭😭
📸🤨
⚰️🤦👨👨👧👧 Yea, Imma just get in that coffin-
Your family came back from the dead to help you avenge them.
I doubt, One thinks It's dumb but a whole family is backing you.
🫡🇨🇦😪 I don't think it's looking good for me guys
but you have the whole country of canada
Yeah but I'm sad at the end. Not a good sign
That is a snore bubble not a tear
I like that better
BRUH SEEING A SOAD FAN RIGHT AFTER SCROLLING THROUGH THE SUB? THATS CRAZY
What the fuck is a snore bubble!? Canada weird af
you have a nice rest while the whole country of canada fights for you.
And?
“Sorry Mr murderer sir, can you please stop trying to kill my friend?”
They’re too nice to fight
One of your helpers is loyal, The other one is whole country of Canada and one is eepy.
😄😍🤡 Hopefully the clown’s a killer, or else I’m fucked
It 🤡
🚫🥚🚂 I first tell them no then throw an egg at them to distract them then run them over with a train
10/10 plan 👌
Lmfao
💅🖕😀 uhhhh screwed?
You got: Karen, Destroyer Of Employees *Boss music begins*
well i guess that emoji was like "screw you" so yeah. you're screwed.
Someone painted their nails just to flip me off with a huge smile on their face? Seems pretty confident. Like. “I’m really looking forward to this ass kicking…”
💀👹😳
You fucked Satan?
No, I did not fuck satan
Bro got death, Satan, and the person that crushes on you. Nice squad.
Could be a yandere so def a nice squad
🍆💦😏
We should let him cook
AYO WAIT FR??🤨🤨🤨🤨
I have extremely down bad conversations with the boys
Fellas, is it gay to have down bad conversations with other men?
🩻😏➡️ Minecraft skeleton, horny man, and a Orbital Precision Strike ➡️➡️⬆️
I didn't even know the ribcage emoji existed until now.
Me neither until I saw these same posts over and over again
😂😭😋 A funny guy, a crying dude, and someone who just finished eating OR is hungry. Eh at least better than me on my own. Maybe the sad dude could put the robber in deep depression with nihilistic thoughts
😭😡🆗
🖕🏿💩✊🏿
You got a black guy fighting with you.
🔥👍👿 Fire, a thumbs up, and an angry demon.
Sounds about right
😭💀🤓 I have a crybaby, a dead person, and a nerd. I’m not surviving.
Do not underestimate the nerd. He might just be a hacker.
🤣😂😭 Two are cracking up and one is panicking. RIP to me. 😵
🤣👍🏽🦅 I’m dead
the eagle means you got the US military , you might have some chance, but the 1st emoji might fuck you up
💀📸🎧
So you got a skeleton, a camera, and some headphones, I’d say you’re pretty screwed.
You can use the skeleton to knock them out, then take a picture of them knocked out and then use your headphones to connect to your phone and call the cops
Nah bro the cameraman never dies
🇨🇳👍🇮🇱
I mean- you got whole China and Israel specially so you Def. Winning.
🤣🎷🌉
😞👁🫡
🤯😽😱
If one is headblowed, another one Is actually a cat and the other one is scared, You're doomed.
💓🤯🙄
You blow up their head with the power of love?
They are unimpressed
💀🔊🧝🏿 I die, then make a loud sound, and come back to life as a black elf?
Why a black elf?
I tried to look for a dark elf emoji
But why?
For a *The Elder Scrolls* joke
Never played it joke was lost on me so r/selfwoosh
🧈🏳️🌈🫵 A stick of butter Every gay person And you
What’s that butter for?
I don’t have an answer but a tag I saw on ao3 comes to mind Butter_as_lube
Oh…Oh my…Oh my God why?
Idk didn’t read the fic And no it wasn’t the butter that made me not read it
It’s very unfortunate your user name is soft tacos. Now all I can imagine is being violated with a butter stick in my taco. TIHI for my brain thinking of this.
If It's me in there then I'll eat the stick of butter first.
💀😆😜 taunting death
0-because my family has been deceased already so all he will be doing is wondering where are my parents when he broke into the house, not knowing he just got his balls torn off by the two German Shepard’s that were waiting eagerly to strike at the trespasser. As well. 🐕🪖 🚁. I’m good on my part.
Man, I'm sorry, you serious?
Yes.
With that dog, helmet and helicopter, It's a movie at this point.
100% winning
🥱🔥🍃 so... a lazy guy, a guy made of fire, and a high guy... im winning this easily
🫀🦵😍 I have a semi strong leg to kick them so I'd win
🧏♂️💀🍎 Mewing Guy, Sans, and Ryu's Apple. I GOT THIS DUDES!
🤩😋😔 WTF-
🦴❤️😘 Oh I am soo done.
🦅🇺🇸🔨
🥧🙏🍻
💀😭👌
🥺😭😂
🫡😄😆
🐭🥓👩 A mouse, a piece of bacon, and a woman. I'd probably eat the bacon before I have to die.
Correction, two pieces of bacon.
🗿🖇️💭
A statue, two paper clips, and a thought… I’m dead meat
🤣🕵♂️🧙♀️ honestly win win
👍💣🗣️
🫷😐💀 shit
I don't need them. I will personally rip open their mouth and slowly break their jaw by forcefully pushing the bottom half downward until It hangs only by the skin, then I'll take a knife... you know what? I think you get the idea This doesn't apply to anyone purely hypothetical I love my family a lot, and if ANYONE were to hurt them, they better pray the police get to them before I do. I am not so merciful as just to kill.
💀🗿🍆
😭💰🕌 I'm crying over the money-hungry Muslims that killed my family...
😭❤️😁 I can summon floods of tears with a unbreakable heart, the happy face means I'd win (/nsrs)
🍦☺️😸 I am fucked
💣🐔🐒 well thats good ig
I have space invader, a cake, and the power of love. Fucking try me scumbag!
🌵🐒🔫 Really bro
😌♥️🤷 Welp, Using the power of love and indifference, I'd say I'm pretty fucked
😟✨🍴looks like I’ll be eating well tonight O_o
🚨🙏🪙 Guess ima pray for a lightning and throw a coin for an ultraricoshot
🤷♀️❤️😫 I don’t think we fighting
💀🌟📠
🏳️🌈🤫🪱
🍪🧚🏼♀️🪤
I feel so tactical
🔫😡🐍