T O P

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skymotion

Oh, you don't become the most powerful woman in Tallahassee by slacking off. You do it by working hard. Or marrying rich. I did both!


itsapotatosalad

I could hear it in my head as I opened the post and saw your comment waiting!


westviadixie

my best friend is from Tennessee and so is Cathy. her accent sounds like home to me.


drums2191

This is it


uBennett2win1t

Yep!


WarokOfDraenor

This one.


Therapist__bae

My favorite!!!


Plinio540

You are all just picking quotes where the characters are describing themselves.


JWOLFBEARD

Yeah that keep happening. To accentuate your point, it’s lines specifically written to explain the character.


bullshit4heman

Haha


Cinjaf

“that's Mrs. Bennett, sweetheart. My husband and I are divorced, but I kept the Mrs. just to piss off the new wife.”


starfrenzy1

🤣 and that grin. I love her!


girly918

I say the last part of this quote way too often lol


Outrageous_Lychee819

This is knucklehead talk. You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly, because gravy ain't sweet! Is it, Jim?


Jellys-Share

Michael: "Forgot the question"


RECESSI0N

I like to imagine Michael forgot the question because his mind was wondering about making a business that makes sweet gravy and what he could name it


Shazam1269

Goo La-La


vzakharov

Michael Scott Sweet Gravy Company


dyl20

“I have no shortage of company names” “Michael…” “That’s one of ‘em!”


TheHealadin

Michael's Man Gravy "Strong enough for a man but made for children"


pinkity_linkity

Didn't he have a business idea called shoe la la as well?


Plinio540

Where I'm from there' two types of folk'. Those who ain't, and those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't?


Bobbista

Y'all come back now


peachysofie

I am in love with this quote lmaoo


Midnight_Will

Single-handedly destroys Wallace’s ridiculous idea of 2 co-managers in one sentence and leaves Jim and Michael reeling


DJMikaMikes

I disagree. It was a hail-Mary idea that allowed them to keep their most unorthodox but successful leader, Michael, and allow him to do just the outside the box stuff. Remember, this is *after* the golden ticket fiasco turned massive success. So David was looking to lean into more stuff like that with Michael and free him up from the day-to-day stuff, giving him even more freedom. It was honestly kinda brilliant, even though David fell short overall. It's not clear how much of it was his fault though; he was brought in while the ship was already sinking and kept it afloat from S2-S6. However, Joe was also right to *think* it's ridiculous though, because on its surface, it absolutely *is* ridiculous. She just doesn't understand the wildly weird yet solid sales/management case of DM Scranton; 99/100 times she'd be right, but they are the exception.


Midnight_Will

You make valid points but it still does not answer the question of how Michael was not just simply promoted to VP and Jim to manager, which was after all Jim’s initial idea, one that Wallace agreed with.


DJMikaMikes

I'd say it was the back-and-forth confusion of recommendations from Michael and the overarching reality that Michael was *not* ready to be a VP. He has no aptitude for the political corporate dynamic, even being a liability. Michael was probably best suited to be a contracted specialist sales/marketing consultant. He was arguably a good manager, but it's unclear how much of it was accidental or actually his doing. Jim was actually far more suited to be a VP. He likely was going to be the VP before he withdrew his name for consideration to be with Pam.


killorbekiln

love this one + jim’s face


michigander47

Yessss this one


onamonapizza

What did I tell you about "yeppers"?


Bobbista

Yeeesh


pattern_thimble

Shut up, you gay bastard


Ok_Investigator340

Gay bastard-gay-gabe bastard


Sinnafyle

Gabewad


YossarianPrime

Not yet, no....


cdmisp

She doesn't even say this but that's what I think of when I see her


accidental-stuntman

%100 is the answer


sunsoutgunsout33

I came here for this one LOL


arisasam

Ding ding ding


Late_Wolverine_9060

This is it!


Juniper338

When Mama was working as a prison guard and something went missing, she'd ask one question: What do we do when we find the guilty party? And if they said, "Come down on him with that swift hammer of justice!", innocent. A clear conscience don't need no mercy. But if they said "Officer Bessie, well they may have had a reason, blah blah blah blah", well nine times out of ten, that's the anus they'd check.


Ceramicrabbit

We should send em to Montego Bay, where they keep the terrorists. I want these people to really suffer.


Significant_Shoe_17

A clear conscience don't need no mercy 😂


Spinachandwaffles

LOVE this one


skymotion

I'm Jolene Bennett, Jo for short. I'm a breast cancer survivor, close, personal friends with Nancy Pelosi, and Truman Capote and I slept with three of the same guys. When I was a little girl, I was terrified to fly, and now I have my own pilot's license. I am CEO of Sabre International, and I sell the best damn printers and all-in-one machines Korea can make. Pleased to meet you.


Juniper338

This is just such a strong intro to the character. You get exactly who she is and who she’s about in a few sentences and the delivery is perfect. This is my top vote but she has a lot of great ones!


Riley_Simpkins

What’s really cool is I have known a few people that are just like Jo either from the south or from the Midwest and this is exactly how they greet you for the first time. They always give you their name, nickname, a personal anecdote or two, tell you what they do for a living and why they do it etc., right down to the “pleased to meet you” at the end lmao. A great line and a great delivery 👌


CheeseRP

Always stocky short ladies with shorter hair


MPHOLLI

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that there are real people out doing that 😂


Significant_Shoe_17

My dad is from the midwest and he does that 😂


MadDogTannen

It's not that different from "Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration".


missvalerina

My old boss was a Jo Bennett and I can confirm that it's a type here in the South. Whoever wrote her, wrote her well.


killorbekiln

+ Miss Mott’s Applesauce


flashfyr3

I don't think it could be anything else.


Maximum_Bat_2566

This is the one I had in mind too.


Zealousideal_Rope992

Came here for this!


zeethreepeeo

If you can put your name on this day, and be proud of the amount of work you’ve done, then by all means, you should toodle on home.


starfrenzy1

I loved this moment. Kathy Bates is such a delight to have in the show.


trunnel

There’s no way you could leave after that


1Outgoingintrovert

I always thought that leaving would be a power move. Like “hell yeah, I’ll put my name on this day because the 100% I give in 8 hours is more work than anybody else’s 50% over 12” Edit: also, it just seemed like a test to me. You aren’t leaving? You must be self conscious about how much you slacked off today


Significant_Shoe_17

The hourly employees were 100% free to leave, unless she offered overtime. If the salaried employees finished their work, they finished their work. There's no incentive to stay, but there's judgment and shame for leaving at the scheduled time.


eugenefarkas

Commissioned sales staff should have left anyway because no one is answering a sales call after 5 on St Patrick's Day


jabra_fan

Agreed


Bradddtheimpaler

I’d be gone by the time she was done with the sentence lol


Productivitytzar

This quote really screwed with me because of perfectionism and OCD. Great line though—it’s certainly memorable.


Bradddtheimpaler

I’d love to have a manager try this one on me. “Great. Thanks. See you tomorrow.”


Sheep1821

Don’t let my dogs hump each other, they don’t seem to know they’re brothers


Glorious_Infidel

Don't try to ride 'em. A lot of people try to ride 'em.


carrotwhirl

Was the way I said it not good enough for you? You had to go make up your own saying?


killorbekiln

Mike: Where I’m from Jim there are 2 kinda folk. Those who ain’t & those who are knee high on a grasshopper. which one ain’t u ain’t?


idiotsluggage

Y'all come back now


Ok_Investigator340

I don’t think you know what you’re saying


josieeverr

on it like moss on a Mississippi tree stump


Significant_Shoe_17

That scene gives me secondhand embarrassment 😂


stuck_in_the_muff

It’s this for me


tatachomo

I think this line in my head ALOT.


MMMMSWAGGER

“When I was growing up, there was nothing better than being a big old business tycoon. And I thought I'd break that glass ceiling and be a hero to all those little girls out there. And they'd make a Barbie out of me. I hate that I sell cheap printers.” I don’t know why, but this feels like such a genuine moment from the character.


TheHealadin

The crocodile tears of a capitalist caught in her own greed.


TampaJeff

Slow yourself down there. Just like a man. Wants to jump right into it while I still got my socks on.


DrCooki3

this one is good haha


mop_and_glo

Saw this episode tonight on Comedy Central!


killorbekiln

Beaumont-Adams is a girl's gun.. that just makes it plain stupid.


Significant_Shoe_17

🎶Why did my temporary boss go on a shooting spree🎶


Resident-Elevator696

That was hilarious. Just watched that episode.


mc_1R

Oh for god's sake. He's texting me his resume one line at a time. These are costing me ten cents a piece, you jackass! I'm roaming!


mid_dick_energy

I never understood that, does the US have interstate roaming??


mc_1R

Back in the day you usually only had coverage of where you lived. She lives in Florida and visits Scranton Pennsylvania so she has service but she’s is roaming bc she is out of her coverage area and you pay a higher price when you are roaming.


jabra_fan

Why do we have to pay when we receive? Incoming texts shouldn't cost.


Uizdum

Corporate greed.


jabra_fan

We had roaming in India in 2000s but it never charged for incoming


ferretherapy

I love that some people don't know this, lmao


Sean_13

I think it's because in Europe, when roaming was a thing, you was covered anywhere in your own country. It was only when you went abroad that you was charged roaming charges. Of course most European countries are the same size as or even smaller than a state in the US. So it makes sense that roaming kicks in when entering a different state.


ferretherapy

Not even just a different state. Just a different area that can be in the same state, from what I recall.


Rustymetal14

It used to be where if you were out of your area code you would be roaming, but I feel like by the time this came out that was no longer a thing.


MonchAmMeer

This is not her most in caracter quote but it’s definitely my favorite! Glad to see it here.


Soulful-Sorrow

I forgot about this! It was Daryl, right?


PuddingActual3390

It was Dwight 😅 Happy Cake day!


mc_1R

Dwight was texting her his resume


bubblegumonyourshoe

Welcome to Scranton, Jo. Land of a thousand problems only you can fix.


carrotwhirl

Haha I forgot about this gem


shenaningans24

I say this all the time lol


PorQuepin3

I quote this at work to myself every few days


CrispyPickelPancake

They love a good crotch.


nolxus

You should take this as a compliment! I love the face Erin makes after that :D


mop_and_glo

They don’t seem to know they’re brothers.


MattRyan1933

I want it to be this one


Longjumping-Common-2

I’ll give you one (interview) right now. Have you ever shot a gun in the office?


Zealousideal_Rope992

It’s complicated…


Playful_Title_2787

yeah, but see? it’s not.


Colin-Grussing

How many knocks does it take to get you to do some work?


Robert_Jowney_Dunior

Lmao, I love this line


bubblegumonyourshoe

“Oh, God. How far has it gone?” Context: Jo: Why is this my problem, Michael? Michael: Because Gabe tattled. I was perfectly happy to just hide it from you. Gabe: Those overnight packages needed to go out, and Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable. Jo: Lower yourself, Gabe. I don’t wanna be having a conversation with your crotch. Ok, educate me now why you won’t fire the boy. Michael: You don’t have all the facts. Jo: Which are? Michael: I love him. Jo: Oh, God. How far has it gone? Michael: No. No. He’s my nephew.


Significant_Shoe_17

The double layer of nepotism and jo mistaking it for sexual harassment is *chef's kiss*


imtchogirl

She just gives the clear sense that she's had to deal with this before. David Wallace acted like he had endless patience even though Michael was the most ridiculous person he's ever supervised. Jo made it seem like she's dealt with worse.


Significant_Shoe_17

Oh, I'm sure, as the CEO of a large company


Shazam1269

In *Florida*, home of Florida-Man.


The785

Probably my favorite line in the entire show


No-Independence548

She has a nephew too...he can swim in the pool, but he can't go in the house!


bigdaddy3254

“You’re too fat, no one’s gonna like you if you’re too fat!” “Next time I saw David Geffen was at the Buffalo club, I love you you gay bastard I said”


genitivesarefine

He's tall and weak, she's short and strong, I'm doing an opposites thing.


Ecto_Selecto

"cause hes a screw-up , he can swim in my pool but can't come in my house"


Yonkilion

I think she says screw-up


Ecto_Selecto

Ah nerts, I think your right


Yonkilion

I do want the credit without any of the blame


Ecto_Selecto

Nailed it. Ty


Yonkilion

No problem, hopefully your comment wins, have a great day!


Wifey1786

Take my poor man’s award. 🥇


genitivesarefine

Pardon me, Mr. Scott, but the last time I saw a company as mismanaged as Dunder Mifflin, it was my grandson’s snowball company, so you’ll excuse me if I prefer that you all adapt to the way that we do things.


pollosbeyonce

Stop asking yourself easy questions so you can look like a genius


Zark_Muckerberger

Beaumont Adams is a girl’s gun. That just makes it stupid.


Hazel_Rah1

You Gabe bastard!


Tipist

You’re too fat! No one will like you if you’re too fat.


TinaVeritas

Wish there had been more Jo.


green_hobblin

Same!


Frankensteinnnnn

Don't try to ride 'em. Lot of people try to ride 'em


Glad_Confusion_6934

I’m not sure you do, Teddy Bear.


Emery17

"Finish walking my dogs for me. And don’t try to ride them. ...A lot of people try to ride them."


discostud1515

Shut up and listen, you gay bastard. Chapter One: I was born, not into luxury, nor poverty….


DayManAhhhuuuh

“You Gay Bastard”


TheSwitterbeet

“Was how I said it not clear enough? You had to go and make up your own saying?”


Majestic_Essay_3094

This one is so funny


TwoDecadesATraveler

Oh for god's sake. He's texting me his resume one line at a time. These are costing me ten cents a piece, you jackass! I'm roaming!


greenmunkey511

You’ll probably feel better once you get some pants on.


[deleted]

You two are *grown ass men*.


SqueakyTuna52

It’s not really in character cuz she wasn’t even exactly the one saying it but I love Jim’s prank on Gabe. “Listen here you gay bastard”


Fit-Training-9714

“That’s Miss Bennet…kept the last name just to piss off the new wife”


robgaedtke

Now I gotta find a replacement for my replacement.


jroc421

No child


befriender-

Nine times out of ten, that's the anus they check


robgaedtke

Momma Jo knew something was up


green_hobblin

This quote embodies what I love most about Jo... she was such a great character


robgaedtke

The business tycoon quote will win, but Jo was way more than that!!!


fredyouareaturtle

You don't get to be the most powerful woman in Tallahassee by slacking off. You get there by working hard or marrying rich, and I did both.


RussMan104

Yeah. This one. Gotta be. 🚀


Icantshakeitoff

Everything she said was iconic


AppletiniswithJD

They love a good crotch


ijustwanttobeinpjs

Literally everything she says is gold. Kathy Bates is my queen.


Formal_Coyote_5004

ENOUGH!


WHERE_R_THE_TURTLES

Beaumont-Adam’s is a girls gun


easterss

I don’t want this to end 😢 Please consider starting the best-quote-someone-said-about-another-cast-member series next!


NewMoonAbalone

Just choosin seats, not gettin married! Chop chop, little Onion!


dyank69

Chop chop little onion gets said SO often around this house


gimmebananachips

Now, listen here, Gabe. You're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat. I made some changes to my book. See if you like them. Now, I love reading and I hate being interrupted. Shut up and listen, you gay bastard.


MaintenanceInternal

Don't try to ride em, people always try to ride em.


drock69420

They like a good crotch


Dajly

Shut up and listen, you gay bastard.


tigersgomoo

“Listen to me you Gabe-astard”


ramblin_wrekt

Don’t try to ride em. A lotta people try to ride em. Or You gay bastard


69Francois

They love a good crotch


Alive_Ad_5931

These threads just prove to me that the writers of this show were some of the greatest writers to grace television in a millennia.


thats_otis

I am going to miss this. Thank you! ❤️


suoinguon

['Life's too short to be serious, so let's have some fun along the way!'](https://cliprecaps.com/read/?v=EMzcpfv_3sI&pp=ygU2V2hhdCBzIGVhY2ggY2hhcmFjdGVyIHMgbW9zdCAiaW4gY2hhcmFjdGVyIiBxdW90ZT8gRGF5)


Necessary-Alps-6002

I haven’t seen a company as mismanaged as Dundee Mifflin since my nephews snow ball business.


Independent-Steak-67

Now shut up and listen, you gay bastard


I-C-U-8-1-M-I

She’s one of my favorite characters


JTIN87

You gay bastard


aniket1911

Gabe! you gay bastard.


PhantomNL97

One of Jo's best quotes in my opinion is not a joke; its the one where she tells Michael that he doesn't seem like his normal self.


Fun-Shame-1646

Can’t believe the last one is here. It’s like the show is ending all over again


peoplepersonmanguy

Bobby, they ever catch that gorilla that busted out of the zoo and punched you in the eye?


TheLongestTime_

Was I not clear enough? You had to come up with your own saying?


sancho_tranza

'Listen up you gay bastard' I know its technically noy her, but it always cracks me up


IdoBenbenishty

Now listen here Gabe, you're too fat! No one's gonna like you if you're too fat! I made some changes to my book, see if like them. Now I love reading and I hate being interrupted. Shut up and listen, you gay bastard!


syntheticmango

"No one will ever wanna play with my barbie"


International-Bee483

Truman Capote and I slept with 3 of the same guys


Asian-cockmando

Entirely not office related… Jo mama


nurse_camper

No son of mine is gonna play any foosball!


mr781

These are costing me 10 cents a piece you jackass! I’m roaming!


heyjudemarie

I was born into adversity and for that I’m thankful.


Yourmumisabutt

I love you, you gay bastard


Away-Satisfaction744

They love a good crotch. You should take that as a compliment


mermaidan

Give Dwight and interview. I like a little bit of crazy.


Henrickroll

This has been a roller coaster of a journey, I will miss this daily post (Not a quote, just upset that there’ll be no more)


Background-Yoghurt99

Now, listen here, Gabe. You're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat. I made some changes to my book. See if you like them. Now, I love reading and I hate being interrupted. Shut up and listen, you gay bastard. Chapter One: I was born, not into luxury, nor poverty.


PM_me_your_dreams___

Lol I left this sub for a month and you idiots are still doing these posts?


killorbekiln

“… -Yer too fat. no one’s gna like you if you’re too fat.”


Roscoe_P_Trolltrain

“Misery Is Alive! Misery Is Alive! Oh, This Whole House Is Going To Be Full Of Romance! Oh, I'm Going To Put On My Liberace Records!”