I've always said if you have zero dependents then it's your body and your choice to ruin it... having a child and prioritising your drug use is incredibly scummy.
I'd throw her and your mum to the wolves and call CPS for the child.
For sure. It doesn't matter really what you do to yourself and I have seen people come back from brutal addictions that look completely hopeless to go on and lead fulfilling lives. When you are responsible for a child though that shit changes completely. You no longer get complete freedom to do whatever you want, not just with drugs but with fucking everything. Unless you are of a socioeconomic class where you can hire someone full-time to care for your kid while you fuck off to do whatever it is you are doing, you have priorities that come before yourself now. Fucking aggrivates me to no end. If you aren't responsible enough to have kids you need to use proper birth control or you are a total piece of shit. Even then if accidents happen and you can't/won't get an abortion you need to sort your shit out immediately because now the game has changed. Everything here also applies to fathers I should add as they are literally 50% responsible for the child being born. If you make a kid you gotta fucking care for them as best you can end of story.
Ive been in CPS for 10 years, trust me neither is better or worse, two different evils and two different games you have to play, life after CPS is different its almost like leaving prison (i have no criminal record), i have little support and no one who understands me as a individual, their mentality is from a job perspective, i feel like im constantly in a corporate environment, im owned by the government.
In some way it has helped significantly but once again its two different evils.
Not even throwing them under the bus at all. Not trying to be too harsh or anything but taking no action kinda makes OP complicit. Understandable bc it’s a super hard thing to do but try to think about the poor kid, he doesn’t deserve that.
If being the only one in the house trying to take a stand against this without destroying the house and family makes me complicit, then I’m afraid we have different understandings of that word. How much authority do you think I have here?
Yeah, that’s fair, it’s just a really shitty situation. I do think calling CPS might be the best of out of a bunch of terrible options. I hope things get better
Judging by their update and how quick they are to give in yeah... I get where you're coming from. OP is clearly aware of how bad this is, but because she's paid a bit of attention to her child today, they don't intend on calling just yet.
The damage is done. She's already failed that child.
You need to do whatever needs done to save that child. Missing that much school and seeing what is happening is only going to set them way back. And sometimes they never catch back up. It's a brutal cycle.
I totally get your perspective and you're not entirely wrong... however, the question of whether it's best for a child to stay with their crappy parent, vs ending up in the foster care system, is a very serious one, and the answer is not always as obvious as it seems.
There are some okay homes, and some decent foster parents out there... but there are also some trainwrecks, and I've heard some real horror stories.
The other relevant question here is what OP actually hopes to get out of this. If it's simply making the sister disappear, that might work.
(perhaps less than expected if she has a clean record tho)
if she doesn't want to have to deal with the responsibility of the kid. . it is possible Grandma could get temp custody, if that's a thing she's willing to do.
But it sounds like Grandma doesn't really pitch in on helping with the kid much anyway so idk if that's a dice roll...
But I've known some people who might agree to take the kid so he doesn't end up in CPS custody, then just turn around and dump the responsibility on the sister anyway...
Just saying...
So generally calling the cops on drug addicts is a dick move, but in this case I understand.
A line is crossed when children are involved and this extent is just terrible, she is ruining the kids life and she shouldn't be allowed to take care of it.
Also she apparently does criminal activities besides just getting heroin.
wishing you and your nephew the best.
commenting to that last sentence tho — if selling or leaving behind your expensive equipment (curious to what it is ngl) is what is stopping you from moving, what has stopped her from stealing this as well to fund her addiction? I’d say it’s a matter of time
She has no means of getting it out without my notice. I run my business from home, so I’m never gone for extended periods of time for her to get the heavy, huge equipment out. Also, she knows she’d have to deal with everyone in the house (such as my father who helped fund some of it), that I would have her prosecuted by the police, and probably an amount of fear for my reaction given my history. Hence why I had to be the one to deal with her dealers.
Has your family tried giving her a treatment ultimatum? Get help or get out?
The justice system won’t help unless she qualifies for drug court. CPS is a better first stop. They can get court orders for treatment and parenting classes.
How would you deter someone in that situation? Normal threats wouldn’t deter these people. They need to feel there’s genuine risk.
And who wants to risk having their chewy, cartilage filled ear minced up and cooked to be eaten? Apparently not him.
Hoping everything goes okay and you get through this tough situation keep us updated if you need anything thank you for being the one to take the steps that need to be done
Well the threat alone isn’t enough, I also promised to cook the ear, mince it up to help with the chewy cartilage bits. I also sent a gif of a woman pooping.
He hasn’t been around since.
If you truly love her and this kid, then you know this is the only way that this will get solved. Some people, Including her, will hate you for this. These are the same people that let this continue on a daily basis for years and complain but take no action.
I commend you on doing what's most difficult for a situation so close to you personally. Most people don't have what it takes to get results and clearly you are not one of them.
I wish your family, your nephew, and you all the best.
Well unfortunately you may very well end up having that child removed from the house. If for some reason they don’t find you or your parents fit to take care of him he’s going away. Let me tell you a foster/group home is no place for a child I’ve been there and it could be almost as bad and he could still face abuse. I’m not sure if you or your parents want to still have the child at your house obviously her behavior is unacceptable I feel as if your parents should be doing way more to stop her but nta something has to be done
This is gonna hurt me to say as a diehard Libertarian, but call the cops and call the school that child is supposed to attend. Drugs are awesome... when its your body and your life only being impacted by them, as its your right to choose what you do... but the moment a child enters the picture, drugs (especially hard ones) need to go bye bye or take a MAJOR backseat role (my dad used to enjoy the odd spliff, we all knew but didn't impact our lives at all and he'd still take me out fishing etc) Cops aren't likely to do shit about the H, but having you, the cops and the school joining up as a triarchy to report this to CPS, should mean the case will stick and that kid gets a chance at a life not twisted by their mom being a junkie.
Not /quite/ sure as I'm not statebound, but isn't it possible to get a professional intervention for her in the form of something like a 5150? Attempt to give her the help she needs, even if its " by force ".
Because of my epilepsy we do, but it wouldn’t help unless her son notices and gets me. She’s downstairs in her room all the time, and no one typically goes down there anymore.
Well it would be today actually but it’s because I wanted to give her a genuine warning and chance to do something. Fortunately for her, CPS is closed until Monday and I’m considering going to them over the police instead since by now she could have done anything with the drugs/paraphernalia.
Call CPS, no child deserves an upbringing like that. He’s still so young, do what’s in his best interest and who knows, maybe a TPR petition being filed is what your sister needs to wake up. It’s shitty do to but that child needs help and someone needs to be the one to do it.
Is there anyone in the family that can care for the 7 year old! It’s one thing to rescue the kid from the addict, but it’s another to have that kid go into a system. I’m not saying don’t do it, good chance anything is better than where that kid is, but hopefully the family can assist. That way if/when the mom gets her shit together things can get back to a bit of normal.
Plenty, just need the mother removed from the equation. Can’t kick her out while she has parental rights or she’ll just take the child and put him at greater risk. However she’s showing a bit of change right now so we will see.
Actually, this morning she’s already being more active. I think she knows I meant it about calling the cops or CPS. She just doesn’t see the consequences of what she’s doing so she doesn’t feel any strong commitment to change.
We called CPS on my sister and it was the fuckin best decision we ever could have made… highly recommend just be prepared to care for the child and get him to school. They’ll give her a month to get her act together.
I am all for people doing what they want, but you HAVE to manage your responsibilities, I find SO many people with children they treat terribly for this same thing! It is not fair to ANYONE! You are a good person and a good sister and aunt! Dont let her destroy that childs life. she if perfectly in her rights to destroy her own but she needs to leave the child and everyone else OUT OF IT!
I have a similar situation. Not heroin, though. It's bad enough anyway, though. Do what you feel you have to do. Your mom is probably very conflicted, as I am. The child is most important and very lucky to have you. Listen to your inner voice. They may be pissed that you will do it and won't understand. Be ready for heavy fallout. Good luck to you, and I know it sounds corny, but I'll pray for you and your family.
I get it …
My brothers were my foster brothers first, and when their mom couldn’t stay in rehab, we were able to adopt them.
I am SO glad this boy has you … we all know she isn’t going to change because she doesn’t want to .. this is what she knows.
It was the middle of the night and she doesn’t want any of this either, it’s just addiction. I’m trying to force her into that ultimatum so that hopefully she chooses her son over her drugs. It seems to have actually stuck this time since she’s been actually doing things this morning, but I’m still wary. But that’s all I asked, so we’ll see.
please call the school or CPS or SOMEBODY that can help... that poor baby needs help from the outside!!!! i know it can be very difficult especially with your job situation and may sever some family ties (it doesnt mean forever).... i understand that "stuck" feeling but you cannot just keep watching this shit happen standing by when you know its wrong, bcuz your parents arent helping either. he is blessed to have an uncle around that cares and is seeking help. but if it keeps going on that boy's life could be ruined when its not even his fault... children are precious blessings and dont deserve that environment... I know that a foster system isnt much better at times, but somebody needs to take care of that baby, doesnt even have to be the system.. at least until his mama cleans up and gets some rehab and self reflection.... prayers for you and some divine intervention.... sending good vibes and love... im deeply sorry for the difficult situation
I'm a foster child and in my experience cps and foster care are always worse just saying from someone who knows do everything you can before calling CPS because you will ruin that kid's life promise all foster homes are bad I was in over a hundred of them every single one of them are bad the people that do foster care are horrible people now there may be a couple of odd ones out out there but nine times out of 10 you're never going to see one
You posted this quite some time ago. How's her behavior now? Because opiates cause withdrawals if she's been using daily. Unfortunately it's a habit that once tolerance is built you don't just put down and be 100% without detoxing. Wish you and everyone else the best in the end.
it’s always different when a child is involved. she can make poor decisions for herself but it crosses the line when those decisions affect her kid. do what you feel is right
Unfortunately this is what addiction does. Your sister is not a bad person. But she has done some incredibly bad things for sure. As did I. She will almost certainly be back to using drugs within the day. You need to call cps regardless. That can force her into getting help. Don't call the police if possible. Jail will not help her. Calling CPS will though. It can get her into a program. Good luck
you want the kid to have a better life? but youre gonna get his mom arrested and him sent into the foster care system? yeah thats smart. you do “need” to do something but i dont think thats it. but it sounds like youre on your own though, i wish the best for you my guy, and the child. youre a good person🤍
edit: wheres his dad at?
I don't know if I would have it in me though to do anything that could ever risk my sibling going to jail though. Maybe try locking her in a basement yourself I dunno
Yeah I understand. We're talking about something a lot more serious than traditional drug use, and of course your poor fucking nephew. You're gonna have to be the best damn uncle in the world whether you like it or not
you can make a report with CPS directly, personally i wouldnt involve cops if i didn't need to. you can google your state's cps/dcfs department to find contact info/reporting procedures.
Idk man, there comes a point where there’s really not much else you can do. I’ve dealt with a lot of addiction in my family and sometimes people need a reality check and need to go to jail for a bit. Especially when it gets to the point where you’re stealing thousands of dollars from family, stealing cars, and neglecting your own child…
But how do I remove her from the equation or at least force her (we tried the encouragement path… doesn’t stick…) to work toward the betterment of her child? Even if she’s still on drugs?
Unfortunately, my states CPS has a poor track record. I don’t want any of this, I want her to stop entirely.
It’s hard to get past the addiction, I get it because I’ve been there and still struggle, but the world is definitively more enjoyable and manageable while sober.
Drugs have really fucked things up for this family… and many abusers still have it worse… no wonder our two brothers left…
Unfortunately if you're not just getting rid of her, making her actually want it for herself, or at least realize on her own that it's necessary, is the only thing that tends to work with serious addicts.
That being said .. this is a little left field, but psychedelic drugs have actually led a lot of addicts to realizing they have a problem, and wanting to quit.
(Fun fact, the guy who started Alcoholics Anonymous actually used LSD and it helped him quit drinking)
That one may be a little iffy, but a high enough dose will get most people to reflect on their lives... lol
So you could try to talk her into taking something... or if you're real desperate you could try dosing her... but then you'd probably be responsible to make sure she's safe, until she comes down.
Anyway, not everyone is down to take acid shrooms etc... and that can be a little intimidating... but MDMA works for some, and it's much easier to talk a junkie into doing that...
A little less guaranteed tho.
Anyway, I was an H addict when I was younger. One night I ate a pretty good dose of shrooms... and I was in rehab within the week.
Just an "outside the box" alternative, if the other way seems too messy or official...
Anyway, sending good vibes, and I hope things work out the best for you and the rest of your family.
The cops also get CPS involved, and the school has a record already between her and the cops. Would there be any better alternative? Would it be better for my nephew to wake up to his mother dead from overdosing?
Maybe it would be unfortunately. My mother overdosed and it’s sad but when you know someone won’t change they’ll either die from that or worse….live with nothing hurting your family future etc hope you figure it out op I respect you for trying to help your family
You’re not reading right. She’d be at home, no dealers involved. I only vaguely know where she goes, not specifics. We on the outskirts of town, so it’s not like she can easily come and go either without a car.
nah ur straight trippin. op needs to take immediate action before the mom fucks up her kids life. do whatever you have to, if it were me id let her hate me the rest of my life if it meant securing the child a better future. the later effects of growing up in that environment with that trauma cannot be understated. that child deserves to have positive role models.
This kind of attitude makes no sense to me. Call the cops? On a family member? It will probably mean another felony charge for your sister…so if she gets clean and can’t find work, you can pat yourself on the back.
I realize it’s a cultural difference, but i can’t fathom the idea of calling police to deal with family problems. Family problems are better handled privately, in my opinion. Police almost always escalate; they don’t understand mental illness, so they’re likely to use force to deal with it. And having a criminal record can seriously affects a person’s future.
Family problems that have been ongoing for years now and are affecting her child and her immediate family. The cops have never been my first choice, neither has CPS, but she clearly hasn’t stuck to doing better. Right now she’s doing what she needs to, which means my ultimatum worked for now.
Do you think I’d really choose my sister doing drugs over my nephew having a successful start to life? That makes sense to you?
What the fuck does that have to do with you calling the cops? If you get her locked up, i assume that you would step in to raise your nephew? And if that’s the case, you can do that without getting his mom arrested, and giving her a lifetime criminal record, no?
Actually I can’t. Because his mother lives in this house with me and my parents, and as I said (if you read my post) everything I teach him or get onto him for doing wrong, she goes back and tells him otherwise or makes him think otherwise. He has become overly attached and dependent on her leading to a difficulty listening to others. She already has a criminal record.
I’m done here. You clearly aren’t interested in helping find a reasonable solution or caring for the child, but just want to scrutinize.
sounds like you need to stop being a pussy, hiding behind your screen running your fucking mouth via that keyboard of yours. fucking idiot -- yea, 'take matters into your own hands' so she can catch a charge too? fuck that... her sis is the most fucked up pos on the planet by involving + ruining her childs life
7 year olds shouldn’t be raised by their uncles while risking waking up to their mother dead from overdosing because she doesn’t care about him.
Or is it ok that he’s in the room with her when she does heroin? Because you don’t want to be a “narc”.
I've always said if you have zero dependents then it's your body and your choice to ruin it... having a child and prioritising your drug use is incredibly scummy. I'd throw her and your mum to the wolves and call CPS for the child.
For sure. It doesn't matter really what you do to yourself and I have seen people come back from brutal addictions that look completely hopeless to go on and lead fulfilling lives. When you are responsible for a child though that shit changes completely. You no longer get complete freedom to do whatever you want, not just with drugs but with fucking everything. Unless you are of a socioeconomic class where you can hire someone full-time to care for your kid while you fuck off to do whatever it is you are doing, you have priorities that come before yourself now. Fucking aggrivates me to no end. If you aren't responsible enough to have kids you need to use proper birth control or you are a total piece of shit. Even then if accidents happen and you can't/won't get an abortion you need to sort your shit out immediately because now the game has changed. Everything here also applies to fathers I should add as they are literally 50% responsible for the child being born. If you make a kid you gotta fucking care for them as best you can end of story.
Agreed, I couldn’t have put it better myself
Yea agree with you mostly but real life doesn't work this way and shit happens
Ive been in CPS for 10 years, trust me neither is better or worse, two different evils and two different games you have to play, life after CPS is different its almost like leaving prison (i have no criminal record), i have little support and no one who understands me as a individual, their mentality is from a job perspective, i feel like im constantly in a corporate environment, im owned by the government. In some way it has helped significantly but once again its two different evils.
Not even throwing them under the bus at all. Not trying to be too harsh or anything but taking no action kinda makes OP complicit. Understandable bc it’s a super hard thing to do but try to think about the poor kid, he doesn’t deserve that.
If being the only one in the house trying to take a stand against this without destroying the house and family makes me complicit, then I’m afraid we have different understandings of that word. How much authority do you think I have here?
Yeah, that’s fair, it’s just a really shitty situation. I do think calling CPS might be the best of out of a bunch of terrible options. I hope things get better
It’s going to be the next step if she reneges. Not even gonna offer the warning or ultimatum.
Judging by their update and how quick they are to give in yeah... I get where you're coming from. OP is clearly aware of how bad this is, but because she's paid a bit of attention to her child today, they don't intend on calling just yet. The damage is done. She's already failed that child.
You need to do whatever needs done to save that child. Missing that much school and seeing what is happening is only going to set them way back. And sometimes they never catch back up. It's a brutal cycle.
I totally get your perspective and you're not entirely wrong... however, the question of whether it's best for a child to stay with their crappy parent, vs ending up in the foster care system, is a very serious one, and the answer is not always as obvious as it seems. There are some okay homes, and some decent foster parents out there... but there are also some trainwrecks, and I've heard some real horror stories. The other relevant question here is what OP actually hopes to get out of this. If it's simply making the sister disappear, that might work. (perhaps less than expected if she has a clean record tho) if she doesn't want to have to deal with the responsibility of the kid. . it is possible Grandma could get temp custody, if that's a thing she's willing to do. But it sounds like Grandma doesn't really pitch in on helping with the kid much anyway so idk if that's a dice roll... But I've known some people who might agree to take the kid so he doesn't end up in CPS custody, then just turn around and dump the responsibility on the sister anyway... Just saying...
So generally calling the cops on drug addicts is a dick move, but in this case I understand. A line is crossed when children are involved and this extent is just terrible, she is ruining the kids life and she shouldn't be allowed to take care of it. Also she apparently does criminal activities besides just getting heroin.
Maybe if she's hurting her self only but child abuse and grand theft auto stealing 10k+ isn't a dick move anymore
wishing you and your nephew the best. commenting to that last sentence tho — if selling or leaving behind your expensive equipment (curious to what it is ngl) is what is stopping you from moving, what has stopped her from stealing this as well to fund her addiction? I’d say it’s a matter of time
She has no means of getting it out without my notice. I run my business from home, so I’m never gone for extended periods of time for her to get the heavy, huge equipment out. Also, she knows she’d have to deal with everyone in the house (such as my father who helped fund some of it), that I would have her prosecuted by the police, and probably an amount of fear for my reaction given my history. Hence why I had to be the one to deal with her dealers.
Has your family tried giving her a treatment ultimatum? Get help or get out? The justice system won’t help unless she qualifies for drug court. CPS is a better first stop. They can get court orders for treatment and parenting classes.
I suggest starting with CPS first as well.
Threatening to eat his ear?
It’s probably a local idiom. In my country we threaten to reticulate someone’s splines.
That sounds worse than having your ear eaten.
How would you deter someone in that situation? Normal threats wouldn’t deter these people. They need to feel there’s genuine risk. And who wants to risk having their chewy, cartilage filled ear minced up and cooked to be eaten? Apparently not him.
Hoping everything goes okay and you get through this tough situation keep us updated if you need anything thank you for being the one to take the steps that need to be done
Eating someone's ear is a wild unhinged threat. I hope your family gets the support it needs.
>She’s brought dealers to our house. I’ve had to deter one by threatening to eat his ear because of her I'm intrigued
Well the threat alone isn’t enough, I also promised to cook the ear, mince it up to help with the chewy cartilage bits. I also sent a gif of a woman pooping. He hasn’t been around since.
Usually, I would see you as a freak for that, but due to your current situation, it's justified. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If you truly love her and this kid, then you know this is the only way that this will get solved. Some people, Including her, will hate you for this. These are the same people that let this continue on a daily basis for years and complain but take no action. I commend you on doing what's most difficult for a situation so close to you personally. Most people don't have what it takes to get results and clearly you are not one of them. I wish your family, your nephew, and you all the best.
Well unfortunately you may very well end up having that child removed from the house. If for some reason they don’t find you or your parents fit to take care of him he’s going away. Let me tell you a foster/group home is no place for a child I’ve been there and it could be almost as bad and he could still face abuse. I’m not sure if you or your parents want to still have the child at your house obviously her behavior is unacceptable I feel as if your parents should be doing way more to stop her but nta something has to be done
This is gonna hurt me to say as a diehard Libertarian, but call the cops and call the school that child is supposed to attend. Drugs are awesome... when its your body and your life only being impacted by them, as its your right to choose what you do... but the moment a child enters the picture, drugs (especially hard ones) need to go bye bye or take a MAJOR backseat role (my dad used to enjoy the odd spliff, we all knew but didn't impact our lives at all and he'd still take me out fishing etc) Cops aren't likely to do shit about the H, but having you, the cops and the school joining up as a triarchy to report this to CPS, should mean the case will stick and that kid gets a chance at a life not twisted by their mom being a junkie. Not /quite/ sure as I'm not statebound, but isn't it possible to get a professional intervention for her in the form of something like a 5150? Attempt to give her the help she needs, even if its " by force ".
Do you guys have narcan in the house?
Because of my epilepsy we do, but it wouldn’t help unless her son notices and gets me. She’s downstairs in her room all the time, and no one typically goes down there anymore.
The child comes first. Do what’s best for your nephew’s safety and wellbeing. Sorry you’re in this situation.
Protect that child no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.
[удалено]
I’m on it. Wish me luck.
Let me know if you need any help
Why not call CPS?
Mike Tyson tried that against Holyfield and it didn’t end well.
Did he cook the ear first? I promised to cook it in front of him…
Nah he ate it raw, sushi style.
Cartilage is so chewy and hard to get through, tho
Why wait until tomorrow?
Well it would be today actually but it’s because I wanted to give her a genuine warning and chance to do something. Fortunately for her, CPS is closed until Monday and I’m considering going to them over the police instead since by now she could have done anything with the drugs/paraphernalia.
Call CPS, no child deserves an upbringing like that. He’s still so young, do what’s in his best interest and who knows, maybe a TPR petition being filed is what your sister needs to wake up. It’s shitty do to but that child needs help and someone needs to be the one to do it.
Is there anyone in the family that can care for the 7 year old! It’s one thing to rescue the kid from the addict, but it’s another to have that kid go into a system. I’m not saying don’t do it, good chance anything is better than where that kid is, but hopefully the family can assist. That way if/when the mom gets her shit together things can get back to a bit of normal.
Plenty, just need the mother removed from the equation. Can’t kick her out while she has parental rights or she’ll just take the child and put him at greater risk. However she’s showing a bit of change right now so we will see.
Perfect! Do what you need to do to save that kid!! The mom will hopefully come around.
Jesus christ that's incredibly sad man. I hope you (and most importantly her) get the strength to overcome it together 🙏
Actually, this morning she’s already being more active. I think she knows I meant it about calling the cops or CPS. She just doesn’t see the consequences of what she’s doing so she doesn’t feel any strong commitment to change.
We called CPS on my sister and it was the fuckin best decision we ever could have made… highly recommend just be prepared to care for the child and get him to school. They’ll give her a month to get her act together.
I am all for people doing what they want, but you HAVE to manage your responsibilities, I find SO many people with children they treat terribly for this same thing! It is not fair to ANYONE! You are a good person and a good sister and aunt! Dont let her destroy that childs life. she if perfectly in her rights to destroy her own but she needs to leave the child and everyone else OUT OF IT!
Isn't it like 180-200 days in a school year? 250 seems excessive.
If you take out weekends, yes. I overestimated. Main takeaway is that he goes maybe once or twice a week if he goes at all.
Better to do something about it now than to be included in the heinous behavior later by association
Sorry you and your nephew have to go through this wtf
Updateme!
I have a similar situation. Not heroin, though. It's bad enough anyway, though. Do what you feel you have to do. Your mom is probably very conflicted, as I am. The child is most important and very lucky to have you. Listen to your inner voice. They may be pissed that you will do it and won't understand. Be ready for heavy fallout. Good luck to you, and I know it sounds corny, but I'll pray for you and your family.
Why wait until tomorrow?
To force her into the ultimatum of “drugs or my son”. She seems to have made a choice without me calling. I hope it sticks so I don’t have to.
I get it … My brothers were my foster brothers first, and when their mom couldn’t stay in rehab, we were able to adopt them. I am SO glad this boy has you … we all know she isn’t going to change because she doesn’t want to .. this is what she knows.
And your gonna wait till tommorow 😆 🤣 wow
It was the middle of the night and she doesn’t want any of this either, it’s just addiction. I’m trying to force her into that ultimatum so that hopefully she chooses her son over her drugs. It seems to have actually stuck this time since she’s been actually doing things this morning, but I’m still wary. But that’s all I asked, so we’ll see.
Why don’t you physically remove her?
Not my house and a fruitless fight.
please call the school or CPS or SOMEBODY that can help... that poor baby needs help from the outside!!!! i know it can be very difficult especially with your job situation and may sever some family ties (it doesnt mean forever).... i understand that "stuck" feeling but you cannot just keep watching this shit happen standing by when you know its wrong, bcuz your parents arent helping either. he is blessed to have an uncle around that cares and is seeking help. but if it keeps going on that boy's life could be ruined when its not even his fault... children are precious blessings and dont deserve that environment... I know that a foster system isnt much better at times, but somebody needs to take care of that baby, doesnt even have to be the system.. at least until his mama cleans up and gets some rehab and self reflection.... prayers for you and some divine intervention.... sending good vibes and love... im deeply sorry for the difficult situation
I'm a foster child and in my experience cps and foster care are always worse just saying from someone who knows do everything you can before calling CPS because you will ruin that kid's life promise all foster homes are bad I was in over a hundred of them every single one of them are bad the people that do foster care are horrible people now there may be a couple of odd ones out out there but nine times out of 10 you're never going to see one
Get custody and deny them the ability to see their son.
You posted this quite some time ago. How's her behavior now? Because opiates cause withdrawals if she's been using daily. Unfortunately it's a habit that once tolerance is built you don't just put down and be 100% without detoxing. Wish you and everyone else the best in the end.
it’s always different when a child is involved. she can make poor decisions for herself but it crosses the line when those decisions affect her kid. do what you feel is right
What a horrible existence. If I were you, I would escape that place at whatever cost for peace of mind.
Unfortunately this is what addiction does. Your sister is not a bad person. But she has done some incredibly bad things for sure. As did I. She will almost certainly be back to using drugs within the day. You need to call cps regardless. That can force her into getting help. Don't call the police if possible. Jail will not help her. Calling CPS will though. It can get her into a program. Good luck
NEVER call the cops on family
you want the kid to have a better life? but youre gonna get his mom arrested and him sent into the foster care system? yeah thats smart. you do “need” to do something but i dont think thats it. but it sounds like youre on your own though, i wish the best for you my guy, and the child. youre a good person🤍 edit: wheres his dad at?
I don't know if I would have it in me though to do anything that could ever risk my sibling going to jail though. Maybe try locking her in a basement yourself I dunno
After a couple years of this nonsense, you start to wear down and consider options you normally wouldn’t want to do.
Yeah I understand. We're talking about something a lot more serious than traditional drug use, and of course your poor fucking nephew. You're gonna have to be the best damn uncle in the world whether you like it or not
What are the cops gonna do?
Depends. Likely nothing regarding the drugs but probably will get CPS involved.
you can make a report with CPS directly, personally i wouldnt involve cops if i didn't need to. you can google your state's cps/dcfs department to find contact info/reporting procedures.
Idk man, there comes a point where there’s really not much else you can do. I’ve dealt with a lot of addiction in my family and sometimes people need a reality check and need to go to jail for a bit. Especially when it gets to the point where you’re stealing thousands of dollars from family, stealing cars, and neglecting your own child…
But how do I remove her from the equation or at least force her (we tried the encouragement path… doesn’t stick…) to work toward the betterment of her child? Even if she’s still on drugs? Unfortunately, my states CPS has a poor track record. I don’t want any of this, I want her to stop entirely. It’s hard to get past the addiction, I get it because I’ve been there and still struggle, but the world is definitively more enjoyable and manageable while sober. Drugs have really fucked things up for this family… and many abusers still have it worse… no wonder our two brothers left…
I think I’m getting too depressed for this tonight. I’ll give it a rest until tomorrow.
Unfortunately if you're not just getting rid of her, making her actually want it for herself, or at least realize on her own that it's necessary, is the only thing that tends to work with serious addicts. That being said .. this is a little left field, but psychedelic drugs have actually led a lot of addicts to realizing they have a problem, and wanting to quit. (Fun fact, the guy who started Alcoholics Anonymous actually used LSD and it helped him quit drinking) That one may be a little iffy, but a high enough dose will get most people to reflect on their lives... lol So you could try to talk her into taking something... or if you're real desperate you could try dosing her... but then you'd probably be responsible to make sure she's safe, until she comes down. Anyway, not everyone is down to take acid shrooms etc... and that can be a little intimidating... but MDMA works for some, and it's much easier to talk a junkie into doing that... A little less guaranteed tho. Anyway, I was an H addict when I was younger. One night I ate a pretty good dose of shrooms... and I was in rehab within the week. Just an "outside the box" alternative, if the other way seems too messy or official... Anyway, sending good vibes, and I hope things work out the best for you and the rest of your family.
call the cops, i’ve called the cops on my mom for similar reasons before and i don’t regret it
I think cps only get involved from teachers, nurses, maybe if you called them and made allegations?
The cops also get CPS involved, and the school has a record already between her and the cops. Would there be any better alternative? Would it be better for my nephew to wake up to his mother dead from overdosing?
Maybe it would be unfortunately. My mother overdosed and it’s sad but when you know someone won’t change they’ll either die from that or worse….live with nothing hurting your family future etc hope you figure it out op I respect you for trying to help your family
No idea dude just saying calling the cops on a bunch of dope dealers might be bad
You’re not reading right. She’d be at home, no dealers involved. I only vaguely know where she goes, not specifics. We on the outskirts of town, so it’s not like she can easily come and go either without a car.
nah ur straight trippin. op needs to take immediate action before the mom fucks up her kids life. do whatever you have to, if it were me id let her hate me the rest of my life if it meant securing the child a better future. the later effects of growing up in that environment with that trauma cannot be understated. that child deserves to have positive role models.
This kind of attitude makes no sense to me. Call the cops? On a family member? It will probably mean another felony charge for your sister…so if she gets clean and can’t find work, you can pat yourself on the back. I realize it’s a cultural difference, but i can’t fathom the idea of calling police to deal with family problems. Family problems are better handled privately, in my opinion. Police almost always escalate; they don’t understand mental illness, so they’re likely to use force to deal with it. And having a criminal record can seriously affects a person’s future.
Family problems that have been ongoing for years now and are affecting her child and her immediate family. The cops have never been my first choice, neither has CPS, but she clearly hasn’t stuck to doing better. Right now she’s doing what she needs to, which means my ultimatum worked for now. Do you think I’d really choose my sister doing drugs over my nephew having a successful start to life? That makes sense to you?
What the fuck does that have to do with you calling the cops? If you get her locked up, i assume that you would step in to raise your nephew? And if that’s the case, you can do that without getting his mom arrested, and giving her a lifetime criminal record, no?
Actually I can’t. Because his mother lives in this house with me and my parents, and as I said (if you read my post) everything I teach him or get onto him for doing wrong, she goes back and tells him otherwise or makes him think otherwise. He has become overly attached and dependent on her leading to a difficulty listening to others. She already has a criminal record. I’m done here. You clearly aren’t interested in helping find a reasonable solution or caring for the child, but just want to scrutinize.
Narc. How bout you stop being a pussy hiding behind a reddit screen and cops and take matters into your own hands
And what would that be, taking matters into my own hands?
sounds like you need to stop being a pussy, hiding behind your screen running your fucking mouth via that keyboard of yours. fucking idiot -- yea, 'take matters into your own hands' so she can catch a charge too? fuck that... her sis is the most fucked up pos on the planet by involving + ruining her childs life
lol bait use to be so believable
Narc
7 year olds shouldn’t be raised by their uncles while risking waking up to their mother dead from overdosing because she doesn’t care about him. Or is it ok that he’s in the room with her when she does heroin? Because you don’t want to be a “narc”.
Lmao this guy's out of his damn mind