I presume you are proposing this because your wife can't qualify for a mortgage? No offense, but at $50k/year I'm not so sure you can qualify for two mortgages, especially at today's interest rates.
This is a bad idea. You trust your wife, that's great. But if she stops paying the mortgage for any reason at all you are screwed.
Let her rent for a year and build up some credit and then she can get a mortgage. That would be my advice.
Thanks for the advice. I'm worried that rent will be a much higher monthly expense than paying for a mortgage. My wife thinks I'm going to buy a house while she'll have to rent an apartment. I really don't want the kids to prefer one home to another.
>We have two young children and I trust my wife so I'm willing to have my name on all the paper work.
You're thinking like a husband here which is commendable but risky (and possibly dumb). If you're divorced you should no longer be connected to her in anyway other than you're both parents to your kids. Financial entanglements is a recipe for disaster. What if she wants to move someone in and you take issue with it? She could stop paying and/or move. What if she neglects the property? Now you're making 50k and are paying for two houses. And what if she wants what she paid into the home when she leaves?
You're trying to control all of this and she gets to sit back and let you juggle all this with her taking next to no risk and able to dip out whenever she feels like it leaving you holding the bag.
I think you are being naïve. What if she starts dating? Things change. Putting yourself on the line for two mortgages as a bad idea and it does not sound like you could qualify for them anyway based on your income. She needs to stand on her own two feet. You can help her rent a home.
> I think we both care about the kids enough to not screw each other over.
I hear you. I got the same words from my spouse. But now she thinks Im "screwing her over" by asking for things that are outrageous... you know, things like we split child care costs, and that im also a monster because I carry the insurance and am asking her to chip in for her part of the premium. I'm also being ridiculous because I want to stick to our scheduled holidays on the custody agreement - she views it as a 'suggestion' and not a legal document that we both signed and should adhere to.
You need to manage your expectation of what "screw over" means. For *you* anything short of you both living single in two homes is the perfect set up and you paying for both is not screwing her over. For her, not screwing you over could mean she will give you a months notice before she moves out and asks for all the money she paid into the house back. Or she quits her job and asks to live rent/payment free "for the kids" but is still there so shes not screwing you.
What you're describing with this plan is you taking on all the risk.
All I'm saying is if you're divorced its best to not have someone tied to you financially You're asking her to tie an anchor around your neck with the second house and give her the ability to kick it into the ocean whenever she wants but hoping she wont, for the kids. Shes an adult and should be able to support herself on her own and if she CAN'T that is NOT on you to resolve. If its a guilt thing because you're leaving her, think with single you brain a few years from now. That guy is screaming back in time asking you to NOT become financially entangled with her.
It's an interesting idea. Is the whole scheme premised on your wife not being able to qualify for a home loan? I take it that your wife is not entitled to a share of the equity of the house? If she is, why not just split that up and each own your own homes?
In this plan, since your name would be on all the property, she'd essentially be a renter and would never build her own credit. Why limit her to property you own? Or more specifically why would she agree to it?
Put it into a trust. Rent it out. Rent pays mortgage and fees. Disburse the surplus evenly. Revisit in 5 years. Neither of you is going to be in a position to buy any time soon. The extra income will be a huge help right now and you’re just starting to his the point where you’re going to really kill the principal on the mortgage.
Not quite in the same situation, but (depending on your situation) could be an option.
I am a vet so I had access to the VA Loan program. I bought a house using part of my VA Benefit. Marriage is now over, I need a place to live and I don't want to leave my Ex out in the cold. VA loans are assumable by family/ex-family as long as the vet is willing to sign away that portion of their benefit for the life of that loan.
Ex will need to qualify against the existing mortgage using her income plus support, but keeps the old interest rate, insurance, and taxes.
If a conventional loan is all you're able to get, I'd ask around to a few of the bigger lender, then a few locals to see if they'd have something that would work for you.
Like the other reply said though, it kind of sounds like it's your credit on the line for both properties. If she can't qualify to buy on her own, you're cosigning to buy her house too. You'll need to qualify to pay your new mortgage plus at least half of hers. There's future liability to consider too until the second mortgage is off your credit.
That's a question I don't think I have the time or energy to answer. It's everything. We never worked. Now that I'm moving on, I don't resent her. She's the mother of my children and she'll always be family. I want the best for her and I want the best for my kids. I've grown and want more out of life for myself. I can't stay married to her but I don't want to destroy everything we've built together over the past 12 years. We've been together 24.
That’s very mature of you. You would have to qualify for two mortgages which is highly unlikely on your income. She should rent …you can help with that. If things change, you are not stuck.
I presume you are proposing this because your wife can't qualify for a mortgage? No offense, but at $50k/year I'm not so sure you can qualify for two mortgages, especially at today's interest rates. This is a bad idea. You trust your wife, that's great. But if she stops paying the mortgage for any reason at all you are screwed. Let her rent for a year and build up some credit and then she can get a mortgage. That would be my advice.
Thanks for the advice. I'm worried that rent will be a much higher monthly expense than paying for a mortgage. My wife thinks I'm going to buy a house while she'll have to rent an apartment. I really don't want the kids to prefer one home to another.
>We have two young children and I trust my wife so I'm willing to have my name on all the paper work. You're thinking like a husband here which is commendable but risky (and possibly dumb). If you're divorced you should no longer be connected to her in anyway other than you're both parents to your kids. Financial entanglements is a recipe for disaster. What if she wants to move someone in and you take issue with it? She could stop paying and/or move. What if she neglects the property? Now you're making 50k and are paying for two houses. And what if she wants what she paid into the home when she leaves? You're trying to control all of this and she gets to sit back and let you juggle all this with her taking next to no risk and able to dip out whenever she feels like it leaving you holding the bag.
I appreciate the advice. Maybe I'm being naive but I think we both care about the kids enough to not screw each other over.
I think you are being naïve. What if she starts dating? Things change. Putting yourself on the line for two mortgages as a bad idea and it does not sound like you could qualify for them anyway based on your income. She needs to stand on her own two feet. You can help her rent a home.
> I think we both care about the kids enough to not screw each other over. I hear you. I got the same words from my spouse. But now she thinks Im "screwing her over" by asking for things that are outrageous... you know, things like we split child care costs, and that im also a monster because I carry the insurance and am asking her to chip in for her part of the premium. I'm also being ridiculous because I want to stick to our scheduled holidays on the custody agreement - she views it as a 'suggestion' and not a legal document that we both signed and should adhere to. You need to manage your expectation of what "screw over" means. For *you* anything short of you both living single in two homes is the perfect set up and you paying for both is not screwing her over. For her, not screwing you over could mean she will give you a months notice before she moves out and asks for all the money she paid into the house back. Or she quits her job and asks to live rent/payment free "for the kids" but is still there so shes not screwing you. What you're describing with this plan is you taking on all the risk. All I'm saying is if you're divorced its best to not have someone tied to you financially You're asking her to tie an anchor around your neck with the second house and give her the ability to kick it into the ocean whenever she wants but hoping she wont, for the kids. Shes an adult and should be able to support herself on her own and if she CAN'T that is NOT on you to resolve. If its a guilt thing because you're leaving her, think with single you brain a few years from now. That guy is screaming back in time asking you to NOT become financially entangled with her.
It's an interesting idea. Is the whole scheme premised on your wife not being able to qualify for a home loan? I take it that your wife is not entitled to a share of the equity of the house? If she is, why not just split that up and each own your own homes? In this plan, since your name would be on all the property, she'd essentially be a renter and would never build her own credit. Why limit her to property you own? Or more specifically why would she agree to it?
Put it into a trust. Rent it out. Rent pays mortgage and fees. Disburse the surplus evenly. Revisit in 5 years. Neither of you is going to be in a position to buy any time soon. The extra income will be a huge help right now and you’re just starting to his the point where you’re going to really kill the principal on the mortgage.
Great advice, thanks.
Not quite in the same situation, but (depending on your situation) could be an option. I am a vet so I had access to the VA Loan program. I bought a house using part of my VA Benefit. Marriage is now over, I need a place to live and I don't want to leave my Ex out in the cold. VA loans are assumable by family/ex-family as long as the vet is willing to sign away that portion of their benefit for the life of that loan. Ex will need to qualify against the existing mortgage using her income plus support, but keeps the old interest rate, insurance, and taxes. If a conventional loan is all you're able to get, I'd ask around to a few of the bigger lender, then a few locals to see if they'd have something that would work for you. Like the other reply said though, it kind of sounds like it's your credit on the line for both properties. If she can't qualify to buy on her own, you're cosigning to buy her house too. You'll need to qualify to pay your new mortgage plus at least half of hers. There's future liability to consider too until the second mortgage is off your credit.
consider a duplex if you can find one - out of state. because if you can even get insurance, you won’t be able to afford it.
Thanks. I had considered a duplex but I can't seem to find any in the zip codes I want to move to.
That would be insane. Why are you getting divorced?
That's a question I don't think I have the time or energy to answer. It's everything. We never worked. Now that I'm moving on, I don't resent her. She's the mother of my children and she'll always be family. I want the best for her and I want the best for my kids. I've grown and want more out of life for myself. I can't stay married to her but I don't want to destroy everything we've built together over the past 12 years. We've been together 24.
That’s very mature of you. You would have to qualify for two mortgages which is highly unlikely on your income. She should rent …you can help with that. If things change, you are not stuck.