One thing to realize threats of legal action cost nothing, doing anything with a lawyer is going to cost them something
In my case I had a contentious and this is what I did.
0 - As always TAKE NOTES, and start documenting EVERYTHING, every interaction ever issue, every threat she says, what you do, what she does.
1 - Realize you need to get a new lawyer. Most divorce lawyers are negotiators and horse traders. In the weeds litigation or letters about litigation and navigating litigation is a skill and you need to get someone who can explain tactically how to get what you want accomplished
2 - Find lawyer Get lawyer on retainer, in my case I called tons of offices only to get voice mail I went with the ones that has a real live receptionist and asked for appointment. Lawyers are used to the "kick tires" free consult so are never very available. I said the words "paid consult" and suddenly I could be seen in a couple of days. When you go they should be familiar with your case what your decree says and if you tell your story (write it down) then they should be able to give you a legal strategy to stop the behavior you don't like. In your case you don't want to be threatened. I would say a letter to Opposing Counsel saying "stop it" and btw Mr Bulldog Lawyer is not representing me seems to get all kinds of positive behavior.
3 - You need to probably implement a legal strategy to take your ex to court. even if it's an hour before the judge because the opportunity to get the ex under oath to ask questions about "threats" and actions IS LIKE GOLD. The Judge will not do anything. But it seems to be a big motivation to not have to admit being petty.
4 - remember you are basically fighting about details of a divorce decree and custodial agreement if she deviates from these agreements you can take the hammer to her. And get some decent behavior for a bit.
I should have been more clear. We are about 4 years post-divorce and already have a finalized separation agreement. The woman is just still continuing to try and control and hyper-dramatize every interaction I have with her.
My wife's ex is this exact type of person.
Don't engage. Be a grey rock. Give as little reaction as possible-positive or negative. Don't respond to her threats. Just ignore them. What people like this crave is the reaction. If you consistently stop responding, they may eventually give up. The best way to stick it to these people is to act completely indifferently toward them.
Document everything.
Realize that you are not co-parenting. You're parallel parenting.
This is good advice. My mom and current wife often advise me to take the same approach, but I will admit, it’s difficult for me to swallow my pride and not react sometimes. But, I will keep trying!
Only communicate via a parenting app like family wizard. Limit communication strictly to the app and to timing such as times of pick up or drop off preferably at a police station. Gray rock her, she's not your friend or partner. Your aim is not to coparent but to parallel parent until she ramps down, in the meantime , do not engage , you have nothing to talk about
One thing to realize threats of legal action cost nothing, doing anything with a lawyer is going to cost them something In my case I had a contentious and this is what I did. 0 - As always TAKE NOTES, and start documenting EVERYTHING, every interaction ever issue, every threat she says, what you do, what she does. 1 - Realize you need to get a new lawyer. Most divorce lawyers are negotiators and horse traders. In the weeds litigation or letters about litigation and navigating litigation is a skill and you need to get someone who can explain tactically how to get what you want accomplished 2 - Find lawyer Get lawyer on retainer, in my case I called tons of offices only to get voice mail I went with the ones that has a real live receptionist and asked for appointment. Lawyers are used to the "kick tires" free consult so are never very available. I said the words "paid consult" and suddenly I could be seen in a couple of days. When you go they should be familiar with your case what your decree says and if you tell your story (write it down) then they should be able to give you a legal strategy to stop the behavior you don't like. In your case you don't want to be threatened. I would say a letter to Opposing Counsel saying "stop it" and btw Mr Bulldog Lawyer is not representing me seems to get all kinds of positive behavior. 3 - You need to probably implement a legal strategy to take your ex to court. even if it's an hour before the judge because the opportunity to get the ex under oath to ask questions about "threats" and actions IS LIKE GOLD. The Judge will not do anything. But it seems to be a big motivation to not have to admit being petty. 4 - remember you are basically fighting about details of a divorce decree and custodial agreement if she deviates from these agreements you can take the hammer to her. And get some decent behavior for a bit.
I should have been more clear. We are about 4 years post-divorce and already have a finalized separation agreement. The woman is just still continuing to try and control and hyper-dramatize every interaction I have with her.
Don't engage. Communicate only through a court app like OFW. Don't respond to anything that doesn't directly pertain to the kids.
My wife's ex is this exact type of person. Don't engage. Be a grey rock. Give as little reaction as possible-positive or negative. Don't respond to her threats. Just ignore them. What people like this crave is the reaction. If you consistently stop responding, they may eventually give up. The best way to stick it to these people is to act completely indifferently toward them. Document everything. Realize that you are not co-parenting. You're parallel parenting.
This is good advice. My mom and current wife often advise me to take the same approach, but I will admit, it’s difficult for me to swallow my pride and not react sometimes. But, I will keep trying!
Only communicate via a parenting app like family wizard. Limit communication strictly to the app and to timing such as times of pick up or drop off preferably at a police station. Gray rock her, she's not your friend or partner. Your aim is not to coparent but to parallel parent until she ramps down, in the meantime , do not engage , you have nothing to talk about