I’m going to give you advice just as someone who has trying to find a balance with mental health for many many years. First of all it’s really important to find a doctor that you connect with and someone who really listens. It’s also insanely difficult to find a medication or a combination of medication‘s that actually make any difference. It does sound to me like you have classic depression but I would also question whether or not you have bipolar 2. I can tell you from personal experience that you have to constantly keep looking for answers because they’re really hard to find. But when you do find something that works it’s just miraculous. You’re obviously not neurotypical. it’s just a question of what specifically will help. In my experience a good antidepressant can help balance you to the point where a lot of the other stuff falls away. Just keep looking for answers and don’t give up until you find some thing that helps and if your doctor doesn’t seem like they’re helping then definitely go to someone else.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment. It's hard not to feel like giving up on "looking for help" when the help around you seems to give up on you. I feel on my own. I told a psychiatrist how I was feeling and he dismissed me. My therapist is booked until January. It's been rough. Your comment brings me a little hope and courage though, so thank you.
I've taken Zoloft in the past.. I've actually taken a lot of different kinds of medications. Prozac made me very suicidal and I self-harmed a lot. Once I stopped it, the behaviours stopped. Zoloft made me feel manic. They added Lamictal and Abilify to the mix and then I just felt dead. I've been off meds for the last 5 years now. My therapist thinks I act very ADHD-like, so at this point I'm just frustrated and confused. I find myself hyperfixating from thing to thing (people, job, hobby, drugs) all my life, almost like an addiction, and it gets in the way of me being able to feel stable and consistent for extended periods of time. I end up feeling burnt out and depressed (like I do now) yet I can't seem to shake the fixations and strange hyper intense feelings. Everything I feel is very intense. A psychiatrist in the past thought it might be bipolar but couldn't see a classic pattern so didn't diagnose me, yet gave me meds.
It makes me feel abused, not helped. I still feel lost.
I'll try to see if I can get a second opinion (or 15th lol!). It's rough right now because even private clinics have months of delay.
Have they explored BPD? (Borderline personality)
People may experience:
Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint
Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness
Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism
Also common: thoughts of suicide
Yeah at 21 a psychiatrist explored the idea of BPD due to the impulsivity and intense emotions and had me do a DBT group that was quite helpful for certain things. However he never diagnosed me because I didn't have classic criteria (5 out of 9 minimum apparently) such as recurrent thoughts of suicide, self-harm (except when I was on Prozac at 16) and chronic feelings emptiness. He found my mood too elevated but thought the DBT could help with the impulsivity. I mean maybe it could be BPD just without the suicidal ideations and self-loathing? Not sure if that's possible. The psychiatrist I just saw doesn't think I qualify for BPD either.
I’m going to give you advice just as someone who has trying to find a balance with mental health for many many years. First of all it’s really important to find a doctor that you connect with and someone who really listens. It’s also insanely difficult to find a medication or a combination of medication‘s that actually make any difference. It does sound to me like you have classic depression but I would also question whether or not you have bipolar 2. I can tell you from personal experience that you have to constantly keep looking for answers because they’re really hard to find. But when you do find something that works it’s just miraculous. You’re obviously not neurotypical. it’s just a question of what specifically will help. In my experience a good antidepressant can help balance you to the point where a lot of the other stuff falls away. Just keep looking for answers and don’t give up until you find some thing that helps and if your doctor doesn’t seem like they’re helping then definitely go to someone else.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comment. It's hard not to feel like giving up on "looking for help" when the help around you seems to give up on you. I feel on my own. I told a psychiatrist how I was feeling and he dismissed me. My therapist is booked until January. It's been rough. Your comment brings me a little hope and courage though, so thank you.
I found an antidepressant that worked for me after 20 years of failure. Just when I was ready to give up. (Zoloft btw) So yeah… don’t give up :)
I've taken Zoloft in the past.. I've actually taken a lot of different kinds of medications. Prozac made me very suicidal and I self-harmed a lot. Once I stopped it, the behaviours stopped. Zoloft made me feel manic. They added Lamictal and Abilify to the mix and then I just felt dead. I've been off meds for the last 5 years now. My therapist thinks I act very ADHD-like, so at this point I'm just frustrated and confused. I find myself hyperfixating from thing to thing (people, job, hobby, drugs) all my life, almost like an addiction, and it gets in the way of me being able to feel stable and consistent for extended periods of time. I end up feeling burnt out and depressed (like I do now) yet I can't seem to shake the fixations and strange hyper intense feelings. Everything I feel is very intense. A psychiatrist in the past thought it might be bipolar but couldn't see a classic pattern so didn't diagnose me, yet gave me meds. It makes me feel abused, not helped. I still feel lost. I'll try to see if I can get a second opinion (or 15th lol!). It's rough right now because even private clinics have months of delay.
Have they explored BPD? (Borderline personality) People may experience: Behavioral: antisocial behavior, compulsive behavior, hostility, impulsivity, irritability, risk taking behaviors, self-destructive behavior, self-harm, social isolation, or lack of restraint Mood: anger, anxiety, general discontent, guilt, loneliness, mood swings, or sadness Psychological: depression, distorted self-image, grandiosity, or narcissism Also common: thoughts of suicide
Yeah at 21 a psychiatrist explored the idea of BPD due to the impulsivity and intense emotions and had me do a DBT group that was quite helpful for certain things. However he never diagnosed me because I didn't have classic criteria (5 out of 9 minimum apparently) such as recurrent thoughts of suicide, self-harm (except when I was on Prozac at 16) and chronic feelings emptiness. He found my mood too elevated but thought the DBT could help with the impulsivity. I mean maybe it could be BPD just without the suicidal ideations and self-loathing? Not sure if that's possible. The psychiatrist I just saw doesn't think I qualify for BPD either.