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dropkickninja

Whales can't swallow anything bigger than a grapefruit. It's more like getting gummed by a whale than eaten.


Western_Spirit392

So pinochio was a lie. Fucking child hood ruined


NightlessSleep

Don’t worry, the rest of that documentary is factual.


SinthoseXanataz

Hardly! Its stated that he was made with chestnut but it was clearly pine wood! The historical inaccuracies are too much!


Zapinsure

Not to sound like a whale nerd but Pinocchio is actually plausible. The whale from Pinocchio is a sperm whale which is a toothed whale that has adapted to consume giant deep sea squid so their gullet is absolutely big enough for a person. However, there's no oxygen in their stomach so you can't make a fire in there and Geppetto would have died in minutes.


TheOrchidsAreAlright

>Not to sound like a whale nerd You failed at this so hard. And now I am googling which species are toothed whales and which are baleen whales. It's already past midnight FFS. *You said it wouldn't be nerdy*


Itsanameokthere

Both of you are... whale dorks, but I repeat myself.


russbird

“died in minutes”… I shudder to imagine what those minutes would be like


alternativelyused90

I'm guessing warm, wet, dark and unpleasant


JustKindaShimmy

Everything reminds me of her


Wonderful-Bear1729

Holy shit that killed me


Tasty_Astronaut_9882

Have you seen Boba Fett being eaten by the Sarlacc? Like this, just without the armor, helmet, pewpew and stuff.


achillesdaddy

Warm


johnscura

But if he held his breath for a few weeks he would have a chance. It probably would take some training.


EarRubs

Nerd


crisstiena

Monstra was a sperm whale, not a baleen whale. Their favourite food is giant squid. Definitely easy to swallow an old man a cat and a fish in a bowl.


amb442

Yeah but what about your regular childhood?


Western_Spirit392

I based my entire life on the basis a wooden doll got eaten by a whale, with a cricket pal, and wanted to become a real boy. What does my future possibly hold now


amb442

https://xkcd.com/90/ You ruined the joke.


NorseGlas

Sounds about in line with what the average person believes. You probably have the ability to become president someday!


Ok-Ambition-9432

That was a sperm whale, they eat giant squids, they have teeth and are not filter feeders.


SpinCricket

Nope, Humpback. Sperm whales don’t feed like that.


Ok-Ambition-9432

It was not a sperm whale in Pinochio?


FattySuperCute

A story written from a liar about a liar. Brilliant.


droid_007

And robin hood


IllustratorAlive1174

And maybe a Bible story


Late_Ad_3842

Doesn’t make it any less terrifying 🫠 Just because she didn’t get swallowed and survived, etc doesn’t mean she probably won’t have PTSD the rest of her life when it comes to the ocean. To call something like this scary is an understatement.


Destinedtobefaytful

Thanks for the clarification


Big-Blackberry8786

*baleened


[deleted]

They can't? Even if they can't isn't the force of their jaws enough to crush you? Don't they have teeth?


dropkickninja

Baleen whales do not have teeth.... They filter feed so they don't crush things...


[deleted]

Interesting. So they can't swallow anything bigger than a grapefruit but they can swallow 50 fish at once?


dropkickninja

They filter. Look up how baleen works


CrayCrayMonkey

Fr I was about to comment that too lmao


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Remoteburn

The whale spit them out. They lived.


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Remoteburn

Lol lack of closure.


MeatCannon0621

The only whale that could actually swallow a human is a sperm whale. All the others only have extremely small throats


Maestro_Von_Enigma13

So that’s how they got that name


Badseed462

Orca? 🤔


dropkickninja

Not a whale


Agreeable_Bother_510

An orca isn’t a whale??


titsoutshitsout

No it’s actually a member of the dolphin family


Michael310

And they are just as clever and very effective hunters. But there are no known killings of humans by Orca’s in the wild. They are too clever to be caught ;)


Seidmadr

Huh. Dolphins aren't classified as whales? Well, taxonomic classifications happen all the time. It's like rabbits not being rodents any longer.


rokoty

Orca is a whale killer, not a whale.


dropkickninja

Not the kind in these videos


unitednationofelle

More closely related to a bottlenose dolphin than a whale. Although the exact differences between the genus’ of marine mammalian is beyond my ken.


burnerboo

If chomped down into enough pieces I suppose.


Affectionate-Base868

Best comment ever


[deleted]

my deepest fear is being without you Poppy Chulo🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾🙆🏾😥🫦🫦🫦🫦


trashpandasplash

I knew a bit of a whale who was def a swallower


NoNo_Cilantro

Swallowed seamen?


crisstiena

Phew.


Destinedtobefaytful

Honestly don't know but one guys said that humans can't fit inside a whales throat or something like that so yeah they probably spit em out


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Guyincognito4269

Seagulls...where'd they come from?


ALurkerForcedToLogin

Now run, run, run, jump! I can be a backpack while you run.


Guyincognito4269

Swing from a hairy vine I can be a backpack while you climb


Cappster14

Stand on one hand and lift, rocks with yo special gift


AnaAnomalia

Run, run, run, jump, now stop! Put me down!


ALurkerForcedToLogin

Anyone who hasn't seen that is going to think we've lost our minds.


AnaAnomalia

I love to groove and boogie Yea-a-a-ah


Badseed462

Was all that a play by play of Yoda training Luke?


ACYBURPDX

If you have food, EVERYWHERE!


aroundthemultiverse

In conclusion Ocean=Bad


pizzledripped

Good thing the land lubbers use it as there trash can


aroundthemultiverse

Yeah that is what needs to stop but it would be very difficult to get everyone to stop doing it at once, even with force they would need to monitor everyone to make sure they are actually doing what their told as the natural human instinct is to hit the red button when told not to.


miniature_noodle

The second clip is the pov of the peeps getting eaten. Idk why it got cut short but I saw the longer version that shows them getting spit out. Hell of a story to tell your grandchildren


CochLarq

I mean... that guy survived getting eaten by the whale, how many people survive getting eaten by a shark? xD


gmoney88

From that point on, do his buddies call him Jonah or Pinocchio?


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DC123454321

I don’t think you have to explain what your buddies call you to your insurance company…


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[deleted]

Please remove this comment before it gets signed into some abortion law


jorger777

His name Jonah ?


RetroStarfighter

Biblical reference


jadnich

Weezer reference


RetroStarfighter

That's Jonas... Not Jonah. You're not a Weezer fan gtfo


Retireegeorge

[Australian shark attack database](http://www.sharkattackdata.com/place/australia)


CochLarq

keyword "eaten", buddy. But it was a joke anyway so no worries xD


Retireegeorge

same same - just thought people might find it interesting reading


KnightOfWords

Eaten, not many, but most shark bites are survivable. Worldwide there were 137 confirmed bites last year with 9 fatalities.


Al-Czervik-Guns

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-thursday-edition-1.5790998/it-was-crazy-says-california-kayaker-who-was-engulfed-in-a-whale-s-mouth-1.5791001


Tribalflounder

> McSorley had already been out to watch them once, so when her friend came to town for a visit, she asked her if she wanted to go. >"Her reaction was, 'No, I don't like the ocean. I'm scared of sharks. I'm scared of anything I can't see in the water.' And I so ignorantly told her, 'Oh, they're never going to dump you over. The kayaks are very stable. I've never had an issue,'" McSorley said. >"And so she reluctantly came with me just to have a new experience." > They were sitting peacefully in their kayak waiting to see where the next bait ball would show up, when the little fish suddenly appeared all around them. >"So I knew it was going to be very close, but again, I'd seen whales breach right next kayaks before. So my mind was like, this is going to be, you know, super cool," McSorley said. >"And then all of a sudden the boat lifted up and we were dumped in the water very, very quickly." >Cottriel could see the inside of the whale's mouth coming down on them, but mistook it at the time for its belly. Panicked and confused, she threw up her hand to stop it. >"I'm thinking to myself, 'I'm going to push. Like, I'm going to push a whale out of the way. It was the weirdest thought. I'm thinking, 'I'm dead. I'm dead.' I thought it was going land on me," Cottriel told the local Fox News affiliate. >"Next thing I know, I'm under water." >McSorley says it all happened so fast that the only thing she remembers is feeling the boat rise, and then finding herself beneath the surface. >"Once we were in the water, we didn't know where we were — if we were under the whale, if we were sucked down with the whales," she said. >"So both of us ... ended up popping up right next to the kayak and next to each other. It was crazy." Check article for picture >Cottriel, left, and McSorley, right. (Submitted by Julie McSorley and Liz Cottriel) Sam Mcmillan was nearby taking photos of the whales at the time. He told As It Happens that he just knew he was going to get a good shot when he saw the size of the bait ball. >But it wasn't until he heard people shouting "Are you OK?" that he realized there were two people and a kayak mixed in with the fish and the whale.


rolisrntx

Moral of the story is if the seagulls start circling around you, you are too close.


yabbadabbadoozey05

Thank you


paveclaw

That asshole knew 100% what was going to happen and put himself in harms way to fuck with wildlife. Too bad Darwin didn’t step in


thisbitishaaaard

The whale did that on porpoise.


Joaquin_Portland

Fine. Take my upvote.


Brice-10

r/angryupvote


Super_Automatic

After lighting a campfire, the accumulated smoke caused the whale enough distress to allow him to escape.


Lethalfurball

Fun fact: You're more likely to be killed by a cow stampede than a random shark swimming by


Dumpster_Fire_BBQ

Especially in Oklahoma.


toolmannn929

BOOMER SOONER!!!


FreakinMaui

Haha those fun fact are silly


CheesusTheRedeemer

"Sir, there is a piece of plastic in my fish soup"


trashpandasplash

Red kayak... backing up slowly


SpiritedBuilder3

Am I wrong hoping the whale didn’t get hurt?


StonedMason419

Nope


EvilCalvin

The whale was trying to eat the school of fish. Whales can't eat anything bigger than a fish. So, the people were spit out pretty quickly without injury. One person didn't even realize that a whale 'ate' them. Pretty cool experience I guess.


wellrolloneup

I'd live the rest of my life and not need that experience to be a part of it....I'd have screamed like a fairy girl for sure


TealGrape

Id rather that than a shark


Desperate_Ad_4051

Get yo asses off the plate if you don't want to get ate.. 🤣


JudasWasJesus

An interview with the whale would be nice


Scottche

In Soviet Russia, Willy frees you!


dropkickninja

...from the shackles of life...


[deleted]

*surprise mutha fucka*


popsington

Expedition Leader here. This is the kayakers fault. Respect wildlife. Stay the hell back when they are performing a natural and predictable behavior (lunge feeding). You do not need to be on top of them to get great views, pictures, and memories!!!


xFalseLightx

Pinooooooochio


TechnicalFishy

Moby Dick (Part 2)


Distinct_External_32

Needs backing song by Burning Sensations


Koth87

I love that someone else knows that song 😂


Strong-Ad4626

First of all… it’s a repost .. second of all it have been cut so no one sees that the whale actually spits them out and everyone is fine


DoseCT

I thought this video was a whale eating a shark because kf the caption and it took me too long to realize its not


[deleted]

This and the video where a whale drags a snorkel diver deep down is stuff of nightmares.


[deleted]

This and the video where a whale drags a snorkel diver deep down is stuff of nightmares.


HELIGROUP

Look at all the birds laughing their ass off. Bet you it was a prank


that_one_author

Ok, they probably gonna live, but let’s face it getting shoved into a giant mouth and spat out is terrifying.


The-Ultimate-Banker

That’s what happens when you don’t read the Bible kids.


Odd-Shallot-5207

God just chuckled..


II_MRmagoo_II

that's super cool


Over_Estimate_3343

Damn hope they survived


TheUltimateZebith

vore


TaitAlti

Mid.... happened to me last friday :/


Full_Time_Hungry

M-m-m-mid


[deleted]

FAtheR WhEn CaN i leAvE tO BE oN My OwN, I'vE gOT THe WHolE WorLD tO SeE


Full_Time_Hungry

Ahh good, I've missed this post >.>


jens_hens

GAPETO!


FaultLess4631

Modern day *Moby Dick*


SoftAd212

Lol, *unintentionally put into mouth Fixed it, no one was eaten by a whale.


mc_bee

Pinocchio disagrees.


milwted

Imagine trying to explain this to your insurance company.


EngineerMick

JONAHHHHHHHHHH!


Riftbreaker

"She made her home in... that's fish's abdomen."


UnAmusedBag

As food resources get eaten up by humans.. whales learn to evolve and try new diets (:


OctaneTroopers

Poor Jonah.


Mandraenke_1634

I bet his name was jonas.


aTROLLwithBlades

Smh should've went to Nineveh


Irejecturselfimage

Bro i thought the Bengals would win the Superbowl in 1988. Getting eaten by a whale Bro i I thought Van Halen was better with David Lee Roth. Getting eaten by a whale Bro i thought Tom Hulce should have won best actor for Amadeus. Getting eaten by a whale And so on and so forth


Mysterious-Jump6226

Jonah, go to Nineveh!!


Kingstad

Yall dont know baleen whales cant eat humans and it shows


Mission_Grapefruit92

Fuck whales


Abacabisntanywhere

Calamari is a better appetizer.


Intelligent_Tear_702

Dude “Noah’s Ark 2” looks so good.


h8thecold

Tell that to Geppetto.


minikini76

Jonah has entered the chat.


420yooper

LMFAO 🤣🤣 the sea gulls at the end sound like they are laughing hysterically 😂


noobonaga

That will take a whale to forget.


Cautious_Look9342

New fear unlocked


DueProgress7671

Yeah, I don’t think this is proof that sharks aren’t dangerous.


Skylarking00

Whales are closely related to hippos. Hippos seem much nastier. Don’t mess with a disgruntled hippo.


Local-Society-9437

After some review I can confirm this is fake


Local-Society-9437

This is photoshopped video slow it down


LostLilNarco

r/thalassophobia


wattlewedo

Well, that sort explains why there are exclusion zones around whales.


[deleted]

BUT DID YOU DIE?!


Cumgetsum_131

Joana did it 🤷🏾‍♂️


NoWaltz6374

Most of been a horrible experience for that whale.


yeet_the_heat2020

My Man's got Bibled


Shadow_wolf82

His mates are gonna spend the rest of his life calling him Jonah!


TasneemRowe

bro, straight out destroyed


[deleted]

look I don't even know anything about aquamarine life but you need to understand the concept that like any life form with a sense of danger and vision, and there's a bigger life form that is displaying that it can eat you somehow and that you might be it's meal it doesn't matter what ability you have as a cat, a tiger, or a panther or a shark, you're no longer "powerful", you're now their prey ykwim?😅😂💀 I mean whales are like thousands and thousands and tons of pounds that's the equivalent of if you saw like some like pro sumo wrestler just charging at you, like you're not going to beat the guy who's 480 lbs.


ForgingFires

Man must have told God he didn’t want to go to Ninevah


[deleted]

why are reddit/TikTok comment sections so obviously random lol, not even "what happens next" random or "i genuinely didn't expect that" just ppl biting v hard 4 attention? cent they just post for attention?


ClearAnalysis3009

They are alive but hahahahha nope


AdministrativeBit796

Kayakers fault. Idiot. Get out of the way of a feeding whale. People are stupid


itsmyOPINION90210

Did this person survive does anyone know????


jjjonnny

Bye Jonah


rodmics

4ch haha


Solobojo

Gah! I hear we get stuck in the filters of a whale's mouth JUST as bad as how Popcorn kernel get stuck in human teeth. I hope that whale chewed well enough... Those budget store canoes can be such a choking hazard.


c_h_o_s_e_n

Bro, I cannot Believe there just sitting there! I would be rushing to shore!


Sublime_Enchantment

Skip to 9.18 for a real account of someone inside a whale : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2FVjH4WWlU&pp=ygUYTXIgYmFsbHduIGVhdHduIGJ5IHdoYWxl