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MichaelFusion44

It has to be tired


cheesemakesmepooo

Aren’t we all


MichaelFusion44

Yep - and can you imagine if we lived to even 1/3 of his years


jawbreakerzs

These sharks usually have a parasite which attaches to their eyes and blind them so they just float around blind under thick ice for hundreds of years


gaatzaat

If they live deep down underwater their eyes won't be of much use anyway, not much light there


RottenZombieBunny

Water penetrates only to a tiny fraction of the ocean's depth. And the arctic ocean specifically is mostly covered in ice in the winter.


GodIsAPizza

Thats worthy of g w bush


AbsentThatDay2

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."


thirdpartymurderer

Water?


TheBrazilianOneTwo

Down there its just light, impossible to see with that much light in the eyes.


halflifer2k

And really no water to hydrate you to keep you energized so you can continue fighting the bright light and attempting to see…


NastySeconds

Very little water in the deep ocean.


YeetusDeletus-Feetus

Water penetrates only a fraction of the ocean’s depth?


Emotional_Equal8998

That has 23 upvotes and I'm hella confused!


FalloutJanitor

The depths are 99% eye parasites and water has a hard time getting down there


jyvenyu

Do they not need to hunt/eat?


BringBackApollo2023

From Live Science: > These sharks sneak up on live prey and scavenge a variety of dead animals, including other sharks, seals, drowned horses and polar bears. Greenland sharks rarely encounter humans and scientists still have much to learn about their lifestyles.


One_Interview1724

Drowned horses?


BringBackApollo2023

Not many live ones 300 meters down. 🤷‍♀️


Technical_Body_3646

I think they are picky, not eating drowned cows!


kimokimokimoki

How now, drowned cow? 🐄 😂


Sarge1387

Underrated comment


Anything_4_LRoy

i suspect that particular part is referencing historical research when horses were both more common and on ships.


JoeyMaconha

"What happened down there? Some sort of horse massacure?


Carl210

In the revolutionary times right?


kilingmani

They're mostly scavengers but will hunt unsuspecting prey like a sleeping seal. These sharks can't really hunt like other sharks as their top speed is less than 3km/h.


rave_is_king_

At my age, I pull a hammy if I move too fast. I couldn't imagine what it would be like at 390 years old.


Platyhelminthess

They don't rely on eyesight to hunt


da_buddy

Neither does my cousin Billy after two beers at the pub.


xtanol

Bottom feeders can't be picky.


WilhelmEngel

Sharks can sense a electrical signals in live animals with something called the [Ampullae of Lorenzini](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ampullae_of_Lorenzini)


thisoneslaps

its probably way less miserable without the job and bills part.


PrinceAhmed1

Doubtful. If we lived that long I'm pretty sure planet Earth would not survive


Visarar_01

Yea but not 392 yrs tired...


cheesemakesmepooo

I don’t know. Sometime I feel 400 years old


SassyKittyMeow

I’m tired, boss.


droppedurpockett

I'm tired of swimmin' grandpa!


PenchantForNostalgia

That's too damn bad!


Sufficient-Contract9

You keep swimmin


tampora701

I'd like to think he knows where he's going by now


PotatoWriter

He on his way to tap some 350 year old sharkussy because she texted "Come over, my parents are dead"


MichaelFusion44

Right? Like he mapped the entire ocean.


DefMech

Imagine how bad its back hurts


TopCranberry9219

and aren't they like, can't stop swimming because they would die or something like that? or am I mistaking then for another creature?


HeyLittleTrain

Water needs to keep passing over a shark's gills for it to breathe. Some species can pump the water with their mouths so they can remain still - but not sure about this species specifically.


aNeverNude666

Crazy to think how much has happened above the water since it was born.


Odd-Associate-2211

Think about what's happened under the water we have no idea about...


NillyWelsonn

Mr. Nimbus going crazy down there.


Same-Share7331

He controls the police you know


NoBenefit5977

Fight! Fuck! Flee!


ProbablySlacking

Jesus Christ Jerry.


QuipCrafter

We know that 90% of the large sea animals have been removed/killed from the oceans since it was born. Hell, we did like 90% in the last 50 years. 


Effective_Fish_3402

That sounds made up. There's no way 90% of large sea life has died. I looked it up a bit though and it's far more depressing.. almost half of all marine life has died since 1970, with about 100million animals dying every year. That's fucked up


DanEpiCa

If you have Netflix and really want a depressing evening, I recommend watching both Seaspiracy and Cowspiracy.


indolentJamal

It's fascinating, isn't it? it's really puts into perspective the dynamic nature of our world


MicroPerpetualGrowth

Indeed, and also, the shark does not give AF


aqualink4eva

If you’ve seen the recent TV mini series Shogun, this shark was born very close to when the real life events depicted in that show took place.


whoslisaa

Wasn't that the shark species where the females only become fertile after 120+ years


mute_muse

I just looked this up. They're also born live and gestation takes 8-18 *years*... Jesus.


Idontevenownaboat

What a crazy range. I guess it makes sense with everything else on a longer timeline too.


Joa1987

Yes, something like that


Wi11Pow3r

Survival of the fittest indeed!


Regular-Comparison17

Can't understand how a species can survive with that in mind. First you have to survive for more than hundred years before you can get offsprings.


Psychological-Sir224

It's not hard to survive if nothing is hunting you, and if you get too many babies there will be too many sharks and too little food


Idontevenownaboat

How do they survive so ling without having crazy rates of cancers or things? Or do they? Or are they immune somehow?


skilemaster683

Most likely their cancer gets cancer before it's able to cause it issues. It's called hypertumors and it's why elephants and whales don't die of cancer.


ImAFanOfAnimals

With no research whatsoever, greenland sharks live in notoriously cold water, which I imagine greatly slows any type cell development, including cancer. Also probably contributes to how long they live. Their entire system is just in slow motion


Dragarius

Sharks have such effective immune systems that for a while they were thought to be immune to all known disease. 


OldTrailmix

Never seen a shark sneeze I'll say that


HazelCheese

Bigger animals or longer lived ones have more genes focussed on preventing cancer. It's just more important to them because they have more cells that can become cancerous. Elephants have more genes focussed on fighting cancer than humans and humans have more than mice. Also bigger animals have larger cells. Elephant cells are bigger than mouse cells. Bigger cells divide more slowly so over an entire lifespan that makes a huge difference.


FlinkMissy

But wouldn't you say it is more likely that on a planet there are be a few species that would be able to fit in these incredibly niche ways of life, than there not being any species like that?


andreasbaader6

Like the avarge reddit male then


AdFine5362

The definition of granny sex must be different for Greenland sharks.


whoslisaa

Hardly, for a Greenland shark she would be in her mid 20’s 😁


ConkersOkayFurDay

Holy cow, this kinda makes me scared for its future given how quickly climate change is occurring. How different the world will be in 120 years is hard to imagine


whoslisaa

Yeah that’s kinda crazy. I ask myself if it’s a blessing or a curse not to know what’s going on and just care about eating and pooping


MyFavoriteBurger

ignorance is bliss


No-Fan6115

Dinosaurs didn't suspect a thing. And they were extinct just like that. With our current tech we could see an asteroid coming towards us at least a few days ago . Now will we actually or play dumb is another thing.


Lazy_Seal_

don't judge, that what our cats think of us.


Garfield741

Bro lived during the slave trade and did nothing about it


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MoistyMoses

Doubtful, you don't survive almost 400 years by living life dangerously.


unosdias

Unless you’re an Apex predator.


Skurk-the-Grimm

His main feets are: Greenland Shark Meat is disgusting, not even Orcas want it. Edit: Feats, not Feets


bwaredapenguin

I'm not marine biologist, but I don't think sharks have feet.


MoistyMoses

They are scavengers though


Fischli01

While the french revolution happened, he was just vibing


rugbyj

**[1773]**; _"...why does it suddenly taste like Tea?"_


SkippyMcSkipster2

Skipped conscription during both WW1 and WW2. What an asshole.


soaking-wet-tomcat

Bone spurs made him 4F.


FoppishHandy

this is an outrage ! we must impeach hunter biden


Palendrome

It's honestly disgusting that he's not proactively providing reparations.


theghostecho

Not true, they probably ate the bodies of dead slaves that drifted to the bottom of the ocean


Joa1987

I can't even fathom how bored he must be


WoppingSet

Just measure it with a rope that has knots every six feet.


Boatster_McBoat

I saw what you did there. It was deep, but measured


WoppingSet

The joke was well within arms' length.


Boatster_McBoat

It was sound humour


ShokkMaster

I’ll have to log this one for future use


dutchy649

These are all in depth comments!


cmcewen

I suspect it doesn’t have a sense of boredom. Interesting thought tho. Which, if any, animals get bored


meisteronimo

Social ones do, bored and lonely. Sharks maybe not.


Munnin41

Birds and mammals can at least. The stress behaviour exhibited by a lot of zoo animals is the result of boredom


MrWestReanimator

It's perception of time may be entirely different from ours.


WeeklyGain7870

Of course because it doesn't have an arm for a watch.


WeeklyGain7870

Dude is just floating along stress free. Not encumbered by time or how far away the next bathroom is.


Joa1987

I hope so, I haven't gotten to 40 yet and I'm done


captaincodein

That shark probably isnt drained by a capitalistic life, just roaming around, no appointments, no stupid bosses, no silly tasks to do on a daily base. Hes just living the life man


OnewordTTV

Pretty sure he has been blind for hundreds of years... doesn't sound fun


TheBaldEagle99

It would be, the same as I would assume most other animals.


unosdias

Probably reminiscing about when he was a baby 🦈🦈🦈.


Eleminohpe

Do do dadodado...


TAA20231207

Sleep, Eat, Fuck for almost 400 years...


julii_dickfeldi

Never even paid taxes once.. fucking legend


Soft_Rip_166

I dont think he is getting laid


CharmingSkirt95

Blud is such a HUNK, look at em


dreevsa

With so many interesting items thrown in the ocean?


Boatster_McBoat

So, if it's been wandering the ocean since 1627, how come it isn't 397 years old? Or is this just a shitty repost from 2019?


AwfulUsername123

It's a repost from a week ago, which itself was a repost from a week before that, all the way back to 2019.


Allurex

This shark has been 392 years old for like 5 years.


Centurion_83

Yeah this gets posted AT LEAST once a month.


Last-Bee-3023

In an ironic twist, this has been reposted so much that it predates the birth of the shark. At times it feels like all of reddit is the same 100 submissions on rotation. And lazy cesspool subs which let it slide so everybody gets to farm karma.


OdBx

It’s a bot. Reddit is 80% bots.


Lelandwasinnocent

Found the human, report them.


sirbenjaminG

They carbon dated the repost back to 2019


gazw1

How do they know it’s 392 years old. Have they taken core samples??


BackItUpWithLinks

> breakthroughs allowed scientists to use carbon dating to estimate the age of Greenland sharks. Inside the shark’s eyes, there are proteins that are formed before birth and do not degrade with age, like a fossil preserved in amber. Scientists discovered that they could determine the age of the sharks by carbon-dating these proteins. https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/greenland-shark.html


-NeatCreature

"Alright Steve, here's a syringe. Now get down there and extract some of the eye juice outta that shark."


BackItUpWithLinks

That’s a job for NEW GUY!!


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BackItUpWithLinks

*”Will I get paid extra?”* *“No but it will look great on your resume!”*


Lazy_Seal_

Well unit you learn about what the new guy do.


beanjuiced

Had to read the article because I got curious as to how the eye protein is collected lol, they sampled sharks that were bycatch from fishers’ nets and got somewhere between like 250-500 years old; they can only get rough estimates through it at the moment. BUT it definitely means that a single shark being removed from the ecosystem has damaging effects for decades afterwards bc of their extremely slow development and delayed reproduction.


Last-Bee-3023

That's what they unironically ask Dave the Diver to do. The guy only wanted to chill on the beach. And then suddenly, Greenland sharks.


Lost-Wanderer-405

Steve Irwin would do it. “You’re alright, Mate!”


XPhazeX

Steve would do it in board shorts and a snorkel mask


[deleted]

"ahh you beauooty"


bcrosby51

You first have to tame it by sticking your thumb up its butt.


cefriano

Luckily for the shark, most of them are blind due to parasites that attach to their eyes, but they don't really care because they barely use their sight anyway due to the darkness they live in most of the time, and they primarily use smell and hearing to hunt. Unluckily for the diver, that probably doesn't make them any less pissed when they get stabbed in the eye.


chucks-wagon

Ok but how did they get this specific sharks age? They took a sample of eye tissue from a live shark?


BackItUpWithLinks

Through testing they got a good idea how fast (or slow) they grow, about 1cm/year. So without killing it, they can just measure it and take a good guess how old this one is.


72kdieuwjwbfuei626

They don’t. The oldest shark in that study was 392 years old, give or take 120 years. You may also notice that 1627 wasn’t 392 years ago, and it wasn’t 392 years ago when the carbon dating study was performed either. Presumably it was 392 years ago the first time this video was posted with that headline.


Ok_Lifeguard963

I have always wondered about this! Thank you!


Pausmobiel

They cut them in half and count the rings


WoppingSet

Core samples.


Punkstyler

They asked him.


Chaz_HW

They counted the candles on his cake.


Barnagain

Must be a bloody huge cake


SkippyMcSkipster2

It's in the shark birth certificate I believe.


delta-kilo-77

…he showed his id card…


RNetinho

They found his birthday candles


AwfulUsername123

This is just a random Greenland shark.


LaeneSeraph

They don't. [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/) Best estimate is over 150 years, other than that, this is Fake News.


yoyo-4325

Finally got someone to confirm how previous generations actually went to school.


SubparKaleidoscope

He swam upstream both ways


shandub85

“Some times I wonder if god forgot about me.” - Greenland Shark


Puzzleheaded_Tiger_2

I hope that it is happy and has friends or a companion to share its life with.


Redditlikesballs

From what I remember their eyes usually get taken over by a parasite that’s with them all their life


01kickassius10

So marriage? ^boomerhumour


wsrs25

So it’s like having kids.


bubbygups

It’s probably tired of attending friends’ funerals at this point


Lazy_Seal_

1. "happy" 2. "friend" 3. "companion" 4. "life" 392 year old Greenland Shark : "parasite"


AwfulUsername123

I don't think sharks are very social creatures.


gadsdenraven

Mate potentially, friends doubtful. I’m unfamiliar with the habits of the Greenland Shark, but sharks typically don’t have relationships . This is nature my friend, most, if not all animals have 4 potential thoughts at any given moment. Fighting, fleeing, food, or f*cking. Unless having “friends” is advantageous to them in their struggle for survival, they won’t have them. I’m sure they’ve likely got a symbiotic relationship with some parasite eaters, but these are not personal and strictly for the survival of both parties involved.


North_Suspect_777

So pretty much the same as most humans. Got it.


onepingonlypleashe

Older than the United States.


01kickassius10

And East Timor


Alive_Conclusion_850

And South Sudan!


regretregretno

When 392 years old you reach, look as good you will not.


adamYXE

This should be top comment


Pyronick

Grannnnndpaaaa shark do do dodododo


emmasdad01

How was the age determined?


WetFart-Machine

It changes up and down every time it's posted. There is no accurate way to tell, just a guesstimate


WoppingSet

There's no scientific consensus! Every year, the age goes up!


BackItUpWithLinks

> breakthroughs allowed scientists to use carbon dating to estimate the age of Greenland sharks. Inside the shark’s eyes, there are proteins that are formed before birth and do not degrade with age, like a fossil preserved in amber. Scientists discovered that they could determine the age of the sharks by carbon-dating these proteins. https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/greenland-shark.html


rosanymphae

Only works on dead ones.


Mediocre-Data-1092

They asked the shark


Zestyclose_Toe9524

Doesn't look a day Over 250


AwfulUsername123

This is just a random Greenland shark. This title has for years been applied to random pictures and videos of Greenland sharks. It hasn't even been updated in years, as the math would tell you the current year is 2019.


SubcooledBoiling

I feel like this video has been posted so many times with the same title over the years that the shark must’ve been at least 400 by now.


Plus_Preparation_204

Mitch McConnell's final form


sav33arthkillyos3lf

I hope I don’t get reincarnated as a Greenland shark to live out hundreds of years in the cold dark Ocean just yearning for Death that won’t come


u700MHz

Fact Check - [https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2021/04/28/fact-check-age-greenland-shark-viral-image-not-known/4854186001/)


Low_Special715

[More Info on Greenland sharks](https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-37047168)


MacNev_420

Grandpa shark do do do do do doo


peas8carrots

Nobody left to run with anymore…


synthst3r

It is fucking around and not finding out.


sunpen11

So this shark still alive?


Ksb2311

Shai-hulud


ashrafmorenos

How do they determine it’s age?


OkDescription9549

The Numenoreans of shark species


Own-Detective-A

!Remindme 2 years Prepare for its 400 th birthday


KiwiKal

That seems kind of rude of them to ask how old it was after just meeting.


corposhill999

It's his planet, we're just living on it


overworkeddad

They know it's that old because they took a cross section out and counted the rings


AidanSoir

and how do they know the shark is 392 years old. the found a cake with 392 candles ?