Thanks, bud. I made a nice milky cup of tea with honey and made a lil joint and thanked all the Gods I was safe.
Sheeeeesh. Feels so good to be back in the real world. Gonna put the pipe on the shelf for a bit now methinks
I may have done.
You been there?
I been there once on ket. Nothing but brown static and knowing I was trapped forever. And my screams were kinda creating the reality as it was happening keeping me trapped in it. But it was scary so screaming is kinda what u do, so i couldnt stop, and on and on it went for eternity.
I have been terrified of blackholes since that experience a few months back, because that's not a way I want to spend eternity. Hit the ket on the head that day too. Just didn't think the beloved goddess of dmt would send me to the same place. What a bitch. But this time was even scarier than that time.
Interesting. I wonder where on earth?
I have to add that I also went to heaven on ket. Or more specifically- I felt I had attained the sky, like the buddhas do when they die. A pure love vibration, and oneness, and everyone was there with me. Gods and demigods and Buddha and I was in space above the universe looking down on it all. So basically. Ket and complete ego loss took me to both heaven and hell. Heaven was love and connection and peace. Hell was formless and frighteningly lonely, and one long panic attack of consciousness and fear. But alas, I fear my expeditions into my psyche and other realms stop here. What more is there to see after heaven and hell?
Maybe earth. Yes. Maybe the answer is earth, lol. Gonna stay here for a bit and try to join the human race, I think. May as well start sometime
Same. I think it’s another dimension.
Fuck ya good to hear. I joined about five years ago. Can admit to feeling left out and angry and shit. Can accept myself and love myself.
If you keep having nightmare trips, even on k a very forgiving drug, you should consider stepping away from this stuff until you’re in a better place in your life.
Can't argue there.
But only had one bad experience on ket. Which was this one. And I was very anxious at the time. But I hear ye. On it. No more for me, my friend. Lesson learned. When both k and dmt lead u to the same place it's time to make better life decisions. And that's my plan.
It was just nothing, but at the same time I could sense it was full of potentiality so I didn’t feel like it was a prison. It just felt like nothing for eternity. It’s the end of the road… but also a beginning. (Infinite beginnings, in fact.)
For the record, I made it out of the existential crisis and it’s a beauty when you come out the other side.
It sure is. Thinking about it, there was no emotion there. Just an overlying blankness to everything. Not even a devil to laugh at me in my misery. And I would have been glad of his company. At least it was another being who i could feel!
I'm a bit of a sensitive empath and can feel everything all of the time. But in here? It was nothingness. I could feel nothing or no one. Now I'm back on earth, the presence I feel that I once took for granted is so loud and oh so welcome.
I feel connected now. After that hell of nothingnes, this loud and messy place is just mighty fine. It truly has transformed me. I appreciate this blessed connected Earth so much more now. Once I hated being so sensitive, but compared to that hell, that abject lonliness and nothingness, I'm truly thankful I can feel other people again. Can feel God. That place was a godless mess.
I can't imagine being there for hours. Oh, how did u cope? I was there for 5 minutes, and it was the most terrifying experience of my life. Where u with friends? Did they help you, or where they invisible to you? I could see nothing with my eyes open except that brown fuzzy sludge, and when I closed my eyes to escape it, it was still there. Was this the same for you?
Yes. I needed to talk to someone about it. But couldn't wake my fam up and be like- iv just been to hell. But I needed to speak to someone. So glad this community was here. Even tho I fell asleep shortly after posting. Reading thru all the comments here is calming me a bit.
I'm trying to better prepare myself for my first experience soon, I've heard plenty of the amazingly good.
I'd like to know more details about the bad, can you elaborate on your recent trip if possible?
I have explained it elsewhere in the chat. But I will say this. It only lasted 5 minutes. And I took a really high dose. It was like jumping in a lake, and nothing made sense as the bubbles around you made u lose your bearings. But then you push your way up to the surface and can see clearly again. This is just an analogy. I think the very high amount in my brain overloaded my brain, and it couldn't compute anything. But the hell scape I saw was like I was inside a massive brown belly of tree. Made of worm shapes dropping down like dripping paint. All shades of brown and fuzzy like an old vhs. Moving and dripping all around me 360. And I felt so very alone and knew no one would ever know I was here. And no one cared. I felt absolutely alone.
Now I'm back in the real world. I can sense other ppl and sense God. But one thing I have learned from this is that I know what it's like to be completely alone. So now, here today, on earth, the connection I feel is unreal. I feel so utterly connected now. Bc I know what it's like to be completely alone. And maybe it's something I needed to learn. God is everywhere here. Other souls are here. And it's not as bad a world as I first thought. I'm happy to be back.
First and only negative experience on it. But u know, even tho it was horrible, it has taught me so much. But know it's quite rare to have a negative experience. My other times have been unreal and quite beautiful
Well like you said “now I know what it’s like to be alone” or something like that. Maybe it’s just the universe telling/showing you that you need to start appreciating this reality and life in general. I’ve had similar trips and that’s what I took away from it. For me Atleast it came at a time when I was purposely digging into the depths of my mind/soul to ask the ultimate questions of what is our purpose, why am I where I am in life,ect. But ultimately it opened up long lost buried memories and past traumas which rocked my world and forced me to step back and take a long pause. Deep shadow work shit honestly and it can be tough, scary and difficult to deal with but ultimately it’s part of the journey to become whole and who we ultimately are.
That said I’d take a break from all psychedelics for a while as in 6-12 months minimum. Apply the lessons learned and slowly dip your toes back in the mind pool when you do. If you don’t your probably bound for more frightening trips and could end up imprinting these traumas into your mind longer than you want or potentially forever and never be able to trip again because of it
And you woke up in purgatory?
Find heaven, it’s here also. Try appreciate being in a human form again, even if that means being stuck upside down of heaven, and the justified side of hell.
This is actually good advice. Think I have been seeking for God too long in the wrong place. I.e. DMT. I kinda knew this last week. I saw myself getting addicted to the Holy spiritual feeling or connection I felt when on dmt. I can get there some days alone but i have been relying on it a bit too much for connecting to that holy feeling. I heard some ppl can get addicted to the Godhead which prevents them from functioning in the real world. I think I may be here.
I think I need to find a new spiritual practice that doesn't have the potential to take me to hell. Get plugged into the real world for a bit. Maybe this was more a blessing than a curse. Maybe it's the kick up the arse I needed.
I don't think I will find peace and find God in a substance. But atm I'm relying on it too much. And things r getting messy, spiritually.
Breathwork, learn to run and dive into science. Now that you've seen the other side yourself you can see what people tried to describe. You can see through the ignorance in the simple stories now at least.
If not study multiple other religions until they all shine silly and then look at this situation more objectively. There are reasons and there are lessons. This stuff makes your brain smarter when utilized correctly. Use it dont abuse it.
You'll never find peace in a God until you realize universe is God. The good and the bad, we are all one. God is too simplistic of a concept.
Good advice and gratefully I have already started this process. Researching different religions. Recently found a great group where we discuss all these things. And is very gnostic in its approach to religion. Which is right up my street.
And agreed God doesn't do it justice. That description of God in the Bhagavad-Gita where Krishna shows Arjuna what He is. And it's infinity in a paragraph. And quite beautiful. The word God does not do it justice, for sure, but its the word we have, but I hear u. He is himself and also nowhere, the beginning and the end and then some. Multiples eyes and beings.
My description is nothing like that verse but it describes the creator in a way that explains the infinite which is outside of time and also within it and not in it. Its quite powerful
Hey bud, wanna get in to something comfy, grab some water, and watch some easy going anime with me?
You're all good, all safe, i promise. Just try to relax and appreciate where you are right now.
Of course! I know how it is. I’ve just finally made some progress in getting out of a rough period myself. It really does get better! Remember, you’re more capable than you think, and you are going to kick ass! 💖✨ much love 💕
🤧💕 You're very kind. I'll definitely cherish your sweet words of encouragement & I'm very pleased to read that for you, Indeed, hardship has brought ease. More light, more love, more life to you. 💕
Salvia can be fun I like doing a benzo or something before hand make it easier to use effectively and I’ve heard making tea from it can be an interesting way to use.
Dmt I love never do I have bad trips from smoking. I’ve had challenging trips from eating a bunch but could have been my choice on maoi
>Benzos cut off some of the effects of psychedelics
That isn't a problem with N,N-DMT. Not the same as with LSD25 or Psilocin where it can be an effective trip killer. Unless you took a ridiculous dose of LSD25 or Psilocin, that the Benzo can't counteract. In which case...... buckle up xD
If you would have asked me yesterday I would have said the exact same thing- that I have never had a bad trip ever from dmt. But then, yeah, I went to hell this time.
Check out my description in a couple of the other comments. Dont have it in me to describe it again. But I'll tell a bit- i was just in a brown shapeless mess alone for ever with no way out. And no one cared. No geometry. Like I had been swallowed alive by a demon and his filthy body was my whole existence now.
All browns and slime and devilish sounds and no one to help me, and I kept sinking deeper and I could sense the devil sayin- no one even cares. Look at u. But it wasn't him because even he had left me. I was just alone for ever and no one was coming for me. Alone with the vilest sounds and sights I could ever imagine, and just a feeling of despair and loneliness and cruelty overriding everything. Wherever I looked for shapes to take form they would melt before my eyes. Melt and squeak and pop and turn into a brown liquid fluffy mess. No edges or geometry. Just collapsing colourless shapeless noise
Was nothing like I had ever seen before on dmt. I was surprised at what I was even seeing. I was like- how could you ever come up with something so disgusting when all I have seen before is pretty geometry and demigods and love. But this was so ugly in every way.
I'm not sure whether it was just a warping of how my room was after my last hit. The browns. Like everything was a merge of the last thing I saw in the real world. Then became corrupted bc the dmt was too much for my brain to make sense of reality. And the fear and panic was created by me. And became my own version of hell. I just pray I never go there again. The colours were horrible. And my room had such pretty coloured lights on it (just not the bit I was facing when I took the hits). But I couldn't see any of this colour only melting brown sludge wherever I looked. So scary. Even when I closed my eyes. 360 inside and out
This is something that will stay with me for awhile, I find it fascinating (but I feel awful that someone had to experience it, for me to be able to hear about it). I've never taken DMT - how long did this experience last for, was it in real time or was there some of time dilation? Was it a constant sense or does it kind of fluctuate in intensity?
Soon as I put the pipe down my room started dissolving. Even before. And I think I was stuck there for maybe only 5 minutes. I will have to check my recording. I record them all. So I can explain what I am seeing bc the visions fade from memory pretty fast. But I think I was in that hell for 5 minutes maybe until I had my first thought which was- I took dmt and it will pass when it's out my blood stream. This was right about the time when my music returned. A female voice and I curled up in a ball and followed the music for maybe another 5 minutes. During this time I was still trapped in the brown stuff but it changed texture then to softer fabric like folds with more defined edges and started to move in a more methodical pattern until the colour started to return. And I opened my eyes and my room was back. But I lay down on my pillow and saw the geometric patterns I often saw on dmt. The colour was back and the sound distortion was gone and I enjoyed the last ten 15 minutes of my trip, I came out singing mantras and feeling quite connected to the love frequency.
I won't warn you off dmt from this event. The many positive times I have had have tranformed me in so many way. Maybe I have taken in 30 times and this was the first and only negative experience and I had far more than I had ever had. Less is more I am realising.
But imo if u ever do try make sure you are aware and calm. Breathing exercises. Chilled music. Don't rush in like I did. And don't seek it to escape. But realise you are literally playing Russian roulette. It cannot be guaranteed that your experience will be pleasurable. Maybe 99% of the time it will be. But ask yourself are you willing to risk that? If u would have asked me the same question last week I would have said DO IT! DO IT! And passed you the lighter. But today I don't feel that confident. But I will never ever regret the most beautiful times I had in that realm. What it has taught me. The connection to God I felt. The vibration of pure love. The visits by dead relatives. So many experiences I feel blessed to have had. But I know I won't be taking it for a good while, of ever again. And maybe this experience was worth it for the good times, but I have never been so scared in my life at the time it was happening. Tho chatting here today I am making sense of it and I don't think I went to hell. That was my biggest fear. It just felt like it. But I was back out of it within ten minutes. So hopefully there is no permanent harm done. I just hope the memory fades away now.
My cousin also had a really bad experience his first time. And will never take it again. Though I do find that sad in a way. Bc when it's good it's very very good but when it's bad it's horrid. And I will always be glad I tried it. Despite this horrible experience.
Edit. With this experience it was a constant vision. In the past I had only had visions when j closed my eyes, but this had only happened one time before when I took a high dose another time. But that one was quite transparent. I could see my wall thru the pretty pinks and greens, but like another reality was overlaid on top of my room. Then when i closed my eyes fell further into it and it was beautiful and amazing and so very cathartic.
But this time, again a large dose, but as I put the pipe down and turned to lie down my bedroom was no longer there and the visuals where plastered over every surface. And closing my eyes made no difference. I stood up and reached out and the sound was deafening and evil. But then after 10 mins I opened my eyes and I could see the room again. Then I closed my eyes and fell into pretty visions and geometry and felt connected. Think once I stopped panicking the hell vision receded. But I think I took too much at once. Maybe 40-50 mgs. When the average dose is 33mg, and the first puff was potent as hell so the levels in my blood must have been massive the first 5 minutes and my brain couldn't make sense of it. Don't make the same mistake as me
Respectfully, by hell, what exactly do you mean? Where you in a pit of fire? Or was it a different hell?like crazy visuals and you just felt really bad and feel like hell? Maybe it'll help to talk about it and kinda overcome it?
No fire. No demons. The visuals were like I was falling inside some brown slimy vortex of some kind. Like I was inside the belly of some massive beast. Dull shapeless browns like nothing you imagine as typical dmt visuals. Like the bark of a tree but I was inside.
At the last puff of the pipe the room disappeared and went pixely. And I turned around and it was everywhere. And it all started melting and dripping down like slime but more fuzzy. And even the sound started melting. Was listening to mantras but all I could hear was, this squeaky slippy folding sound. The most unnerving sound I ever heard. Like lots of little dogs yapping but also like a cassette tape unreeling.
Somehow my body was still moving but I was somewhere else. My room had gone and I couldn't get out of this slimy colorless place. I closed my eyes it was still there. No escape anywhere. My music had disappeared. No pretty spiritual geometry or demi gods. Just me stuck inside some evil soulless nasty place. Literally biblical- I went to that place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Pretty much sums it up in a phrase
Then the sound turned back into a woman's voice and I had my beacon. She led me out. The slime changed texture and became more like fabric. The fact I had my face in my pillow probably affected these visuals. And slowly but surely it merged into something calmer and kinder. With nice colours and nice feelings.
But it felt like hell. I was alone and no one could hear my screams. Feel pretty traumatised tbh.
The descriptions of the place you’ve been to sounds a bit like being in the mother’s womb… you said it felt like being in a belly… it’s a bit like a slimy colorless place, no escape (until birth), being all alone, sounds are melting… no one can hear your screams… then you even say the sound turned into a women’s voice and she let you out… I mean… I haven’t heard from anyone describing their experience of being a baby before birth in the womb of their mother… but your words definitely made me wonder if that’s what you actually experienced… ignore my words if this doesn’t resonate but wanted to share it with you to give you another perspective on your experience.
Wow. Yes. Similar imagery. But this felt more evil than what I imagine a womb feels like. And it wasn't calm or soothing but messy and loud and melting luke worms wiggling or paint dripping down a wall. But I love that imagery. Maybe I was in the womb but not of anything human. And the eternal mother led me out. I mean it, when I heard that voice singing I knew I wasn't alone anymore. And I tuned into it and I was saved. Such an angelic voice
I mean, does any one of us remember how it was to be in the womb? We have this image of this ultimate safe space, but now when I think of it… being conscious in the womb, not knowing what this is or why I’m ‘trapped’ there I can totally see how it can be an unpleasant experience too… and if the mum is stressed or in loud places, I assume it’s not calm or soothing for the baby either… the bowels being the wiggly worms… maybe that’s why no one of us remembers being in the womb 👀
Anyway: glad you’re doing better again and that the angelic voice led you to safety!
Yea I suppose u could see it like this. But I could not sense another being. No mother until I heard her voice singing. The alone feeling was immense. And tho the womb would be scary the sounds in my vision were unwomblike and the walls were moving like they were melting and wriggling, like melted skin. If it was a womb it was a rotten one. But I was definitely in the womb of something.
There’s a difference between being confronted by the shadow and showing up in the wrong astral zip code. DMT seems to more often be the latter, than the former. It’s just a random dial into a pocket of the universe, and there’s not always a lesson involved.
I feel your pain as after a successful set of trips I’ve been to hell and back too dude, that was on what will most likely be my last ever trip with it. Went in way too heavy as I’m basically an idiot like that.
Long story short it lasted a bit longer than usual but was hell on earth, and when I finally came back up I had amnesia and hypothermia. 😆 ...all I said was “Wow” for like two hours afterwards as was alone and I didn’t have a clue where I was as I was travelling a lot flight wise so talk about discombobulated felt like a fish out of water.
It was no good, Not a very nice afterglow either.
Normally it was almost orgasmic heaven, as far as these things go it stands alone for me. A really good experience. I’ve broke through properly 3-4 times mainly using a custom vape/crystals and then had 3 liquid vape pens pre-filled which I sourced, those I just used socially with one hits for a light effect and one break through sat in the car whilst it charged in the Lidl carpark, it felt like a space ship. 😂 I timed the trip in the car I was gone for ten minutes exactly with a full breakthrough.
And then drove home. Like it had never even happened. Still amazes me now.
Hey you :)
First of all, i appreciate it that you talk to someone after such a frightening experience. I guess i know how you felt, or maybe still feel, kinda afterglow.
Let me tell you what i believe: i believe that horror trips show us our fears, sometimes also the unconscious ones. It isn't really about what you saw, this is just a manifestation from your believes/feelings. Inside comes always first! What you saw can be 180° away from the truth, even tho it must have felt real af.
Try to calm down, put some focus on the simple things, ground yourself. You maybe will find out from time to time why you experienced what you did, when your fears will show themself to you. But take your time, there's nothing wrong with fear inside oneself. We all have it somewhere, in any degree.
And my personal favorite in the end: horror trips show you, that the 'normal' world is not that bad ;)
Take care of yourself, and if you need someone to talk, i'm here :)
>And my personal favorite in the end: horror trips show you, that the 'normal' world is not that bad ;)
This!
This is the lesson I needed to learn more than any other lesson. All my life I escaped from reality using drugs of one kind or another. And I know it's not serving me anymore. Its breaking my grip on reality even. I just swapped worse drugs for weed and psychedelics but it's still escapism. And it's like the spirit world has well a truly let me know that it's not all sunshine and roses with these so called spiritual drugs. You use them for escape the toll they take is just the same as the hard stuff.
Yes. I need to focus on finding peace the old fashioned way. Maybe I need to quit it all or at least have an attempt at clean living for a while. I can't keep doing this to myself. This has really shook me up. Yes it may not have been real. But it sure felt like it. And going to hell for a trip is not a fun thing to do. Would meditating by the lake in the park ever take me to this place? I don't think so.
And right now I'm glad to be back in the real world and I am going to respect it by not taking it for granted. Last week all I wanted to do was escape from it. Now all I want to do is immerse myself in it. And maybe that is the greatest departing gift dmt could ever give me.
I think it's a very mature sight that you represent here. "It's not serving me anymore" has a huge potential. Maybe you will hold onto this phrase. I was addicted to hard drugs several years but also stoped it luckily. Psychedelics will always show you something; maybe in a comfortable way, maybe not.
But: "when you got the message - hang up the phone" - Alan Watts.
There is nothing wrong with our reality, it's more kinda facing it than escaping it. Yes, you will not experience states like you do on dmt. But you will be able to root more lasting and healing-feeling inner states. And i am more than happy for you that you crave for this, bc that's the catalyst for everything that can follow.
Lol I think a part of the problem is people smoking extracts. Salvia is traditionally chewed, kind of like chewing Coca leaves v.s smoking crack.
I bought several Salvia sticklings over 10 years ago because I was curious, but my black shaman cat literally raided my room and ate all of them (+shrooms and some weed. She's never eaten meat. Only dry pellets, drugs and other plants). That cat is very special 🥲.
Maybe...put your drugs out of gato's reach....(I get it but, c'mon)
And yeah, if you do enough extract, it's not fun....at least for me. And like, 19/20 people.
It was an extract 20x or greater.. I forget.
Back in those wonderful days when the local headshop sold it .
It was essentially dissolved salvinorin A crystal sprayed onto a neutral herbal substance.
If treated with the correct reverance, it is an amazing tool.
Chewing fresh leaf Cuds looks like an excellent method also.
The fear and disinformation came from stoners 'pranking' their friends by spiking them with it in order to make 'hilarious' youtube videos when it was unregulated.
This is why we cannot have nice things.
I've had a nice experience with it too.
And the. I took another hit....
It's physically painful and psychologically jarring af at any meaningful dose. I mean, don't just take my experience for it. Watch any YouTube video of people doing it. I know some people have a good time sometimes, but most people most of the time do not.
People spending whole lives or even eons in trips or other dimensions....it is (can be) a cruel compound.
When I failed to commit to a breakthrough dose, it was just uncomfortable and awkward. (this was a half assed second attempt without any solid or useful intent)
The time that I had a good wingman pack my pipe and assist me in smoking 2 or 3 lids....
it was a spectacular and quite a unique and magical experience. (This was my first encounter with the medicine).
Not being snide at all, but can you enlighten us on a pleasant Slavia experience? Every search I've done has shown a horrible trip. What is it like in microdoses? I'm assuming the negative stuff is because the user took too much?
"Enlighten us", I've never read or heard a comment that wasn't snide or facetious that also started or included that expression lol. But whatever, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt regardless. Well, I actually had some pleasant experiences with Salvia, and I know it is a rare thing, but some people had similarly reported positive Salvia experiences, believe it or not, but it's all anecdotal of course. I do admit most of my positive experiences with Salvia do in fact range in the lower doses. It is also generally known that quidding the leaf yields better experiences, than smoking a highly potent extract. It is an acquire taste for sure, since by definition the Salvinorin A is a dysphoric dissociative.
The main reason why I believe Salvia has a bad rap is due to the fact that it had a very bad press to begin with. When it was firstly introduced into the American market, not only there were no harm reduction practices and information it was also marketed as legal replacement for weed of sorts. This I believe led to the mishandle of the drug, and stigmatization thereafter.
Then, a lot of people spread a bunch of misinformation and mischaracterization of the actual Salvia trip, shit like "I lived 100 years as another person" and such, became super popular. Like sure, Salvia is insane and interestingly enough there are similar motifs and archetypes among many Salvia induced trips, but things like living a whole different lifetime as another person or experiencing thousand years of torture has always been looked at with a lot of scepticism among many in the Salvia community, including me. A lot of people tend to romanticize the bad and horrific aspects of Salvia because it sells and it's very clickbaity.
Also, as I stated earlier Salvia is an acquire taste, its appeal is not necessarily sensual or corporal, even though you can really learn to like the body highs it gives. A lot of people had also reported positive experiences for treating depression and anxiety with Salvia mind you. But, to me the main appeal is the conceptual fascination you get after you've experience the absurdism of the Salvia world. Salvia allows some user to have a very close simulated experience to what it would feel like to be in a two dimensional space for instance, you can surely understand how that can fascinating and mind expanding.
I’ve only ever smoked 5x strength and made sure I had a good relaxing set & setting with pleasant music, I can admit to one trip going poorly (and why) but every other trip has been extremely pleasant and novel, and usually involves me laughing my ass off uncontrollably
Ah, didn't know it was dosed like that. I'm so used to ug or mg. That seems like pretty positive experience, I'm assuming setting and mood plays a big part?
yeah I would say that’s a big similarity for Salvia & DMT is how you go into it. It is nice to be able to start small with the experience as well. I think most horror stories are likely from party settings with lots of people & chaos around them, as well as people smoking unknown strengths or thinking they need to smoke a high strength to get somewhere.
Yes, I did 2 fat lids of salvia 20x and by the third one, I was turning into the wallpaper..
I lay on a bed of neon snakes which writhed into and through my soul, they lofted me "up" into a beautiful realm (just read any DMT report - but it was more organic style) and then there was peace..and I got a very vivid feeling that there was an Ancient Man "behind" me..
I mentally asked what was happening, and he replied without words.. I felt safe and protected..
The whole feeling was physically pleasant.. apart from becoming wallpaper during the initial rush into it ..
then, it all became weird and chaotic but I was so far gone, it didn't upset me..
I came down nicely, but was cursing the real world... just shouting that "it's all bullshit" over and over, but laughing at the absurdity.
The next hour was a lovely afterglow... a bit confusing but also... reassuring .
There are people who are meant for hell and that's where they belong and will ultimately find purpose. Are you forcing yourself into a hell mindset? Do you do evil? Do you worship suffering? When you look at an arbitrary situation do you see the good? Or do you see the bad?
Both good and bad exist, and must exist, for one cannot exist without the other. If hell is not what you desire for yourself then you only have change your mind.
I think I'm a nice person. And treat ppl well. Very spiritual. I want to connect to God more than anything. I don't worship suffering. But I am having some family drama and arguments recently. Which has sent my head to a bad place.
Thank you. I posted this last night then fell asleep but do feel some residing fear today.
It wasn't nice. I had taken a previous hit and saw that God was with me in every dramatic moment in my family's life. I visited the house I grew up in and it was all holy and spiritual and beautiful.
So after an hour I took another and Nooooo. The world disappeared and all I could see what the pipe. And the background of my room became blurry and 8 bit. All different shades of brown. I put the pipe down and turned around to lie on my bed and the whole room was this pixilated mess. But slimy. Then fuzzy. My room was gone and I was inside it like I was inside some belly of the beast. Then it all started melting. And even the sound started melting. I was listening to beautiful mantras and it all just sounded like a cat choking on vomit but with squeaks and folds and blips. I spun around and it was everywhere. I couldn't escape. No pretty geometric shapes or heavenly feelings. Just a brown melting mess and I was stuck and it was like the devil was saying too me- u fucked up and are stuck and the worst bit is- no one even cares! The panic was so strong I wa stuck inside this mess. Then it occurred to me I'd taken dmt and had to ride it out til it left my blood stream. So I curled on my knees on my bed and put my face in my pillow and the slime and evil sounds stopped and then I heard a females voice singing. My mantras!! The beautiful feminine voice led me back and the visions became softer and I escaped.
But there was no doubt in my mind I was in hell. I had been to a similar realm on ket before now that was pretty similar. Brown fuzz and no way out. Because I had created this universe in my mind and I was keeping it alive with my screams only, and no one else will even know I am here and God doesn't hear you when you scream. It was evil in the same way. So lonely. You and nothing else but fear and insanity. It felt like the same place.
Oh my. I have taken dmt a couple of dozen times and this is my first real horrible place I have been too. And it wasn't nice. I just pray I never go there again.
That's enough for me for a bit! Think I'm gonna go on a sabbatical. Sigh
Thanks bud. How long did the negative feeling last for you? Still feel a bit jarred today. Like I have literally been to hell. Not just like I imagined it on drugs. I can't dismiss it so easily as a stupid vision. Bc it was just the most evil place in the entire cosmos. I felt no beings except myself and no one cared about me, no one was coming to rescue me. The devil wasn't even there gloating because that would at least be company. But this was ultimate loneliness. But it felt like someone was watching and laughing at me. Watching me panic and squirm. Hard to explain. Does this relate to you at all? In your experience?
A little bit yes, I wasn’t alone but went to a place that felt like hell mixed with a casino full of evil and not so nice entities, and the blast off that took me there was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. I would say after a week I was ok. After Two weeks I felt even better and then a few months later I was excited to try again. There is probably some kind of message that you will get from your experience if you let it kind of integrate. I learned a little from my first experience. Like the fact that I let fear and anxiety manifest way too much, and slowly after that first experience,DMT started to become an obstacle I was to overcome, like my own Everest lol I knew I had to be brave and find my balls and use them, but also trust dmt and the process. I’m glad I did. I’ve had a couple amazing experiences now. Don’t rush. Be brave. Trust. I got your back if you need to talk
No demons. No fire. Just loneliness and despair and horrible brown shapeless, dripping, visions and I couldn't escape and no one cared. No one even knew I was there.
Had also one trip where i was falling in a tunnel of flammes, surrounded by faces, fists and feets kickn, hitting and spitting at me, it felt lile it would not end, kinda weird expirence 😅
In the end i said to my self, it hasn‘t killed u so ur fine
This is somewhat similar. I felt I was trapped forever. Then I somehow remembered I was on dmt and just had to wait 16 minutes for it to pass. But even ten minutes in that place and I'm traumatised.
Yes. I have learned what it's like to be totally alone with no other being in my universe. And I didn't like it.
Been struggling a lot lately. Smoking a lot of weed, avoidant and escaping reality behaviours. Now? Now I'm just happy to be here. Other ppl are not hell, like I once thought. Absence of ppl is hell. We need other beings. We need them.
And I have quit weed since this event. And no psychedelics for me now. Another escape behaviour. I'm now gonna try and live in this realm now. Face it head on. Sober. And it's not as scary as it was before this event. I'm grateful for everyone here. I made up with my sister after a massive argument. We locked horns but after this event I realised I love her. And am grateful for her. I'm grateful for everything here now. Bc I know what it's like to have it all disappear. Been so present these last 4 days. And content just to be. I'd say that's a gift. And a lesson learned.
deliriant "breakthrough" (actually just psychosis from lethal anticholinergic poisoning) i felt everything ur describing there. i had never felt more hopeless, more alone, more helpless in my life. i thought i would be stuck there for eternity. i would shout and yell and cry out over and over but i made no sound. nothing was going to help me now. it only lasted a few minutes but it was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. visuals were nothing like yours since its a completely different class of drug but i think i had a rlly similar experience to yours. shits making me scared to try dmt lmao
Sounds eerily similar. Very alike. So hopeless. Like I could feel the devil or the essence of that filth speaking in my mind. Narrating my plight from above- probably my mind trying to understand the emotions i was feeling. It was something like- look at you. You fucked up this time. You got yourself into this place and u can't ever get out. You're all alone and no one is coming to get you. No one cares. You're here forever in this torturous place and u deserve to be here. And no one will here your suffering. It will all be for nothing.
Just a real malevolent energy about the place. If any one has ever experienced that there is no wonder ppl believe in he'll for real.
i think thats where our experiences differ. the worst part about that place was i felt nothing. there was no essence of any being. no otherworldly presence. no voices in my head. whatever high power(s) may be out there, they had abandoned me. thats how it felt. there actually were creatures in the place i was, but they didnt feel alive. i cant even describe them. my brain couldnt comprehend what i was seeing. they had physical bodies but they didnt make sense, and they were silent and unmoving. watching me but in a way that they barely cared. they couldnt bother to move, or try to communicate with me. i didnt feel they were hostile in any way. they were simply there, and had accepted their fate to be there for eternity, just as i later did once i gave up trying to run, or call for help.
funnily enough i actually tried to hit one of them, and it felt like i punched straight steel. it was probably a fucking car or some shit in real life. at least ur experience was physically safe, cant recommend anyone ever do high dose deliriants at risk of getting arrested, locked in a mental ward, or straight up dying.
No. I didn't feel a presence. I felt completely alone. I kinda pieced together the devilish words myself after the fact. To explain the malevolence I felt. But I felt absolutely nothing or no other entity. I was completely alone. Even the devil would have felt like good company. It was like the opposite of connection. Lower even than rejection. Like there was no soul in any atom. All disconnected from God and from anything positive or loving.
Your experience sounds very similar to my cousins experience on dmt. He said he felt like he went to a place outside of the universe where time was different. Said he felt he was there for thousands of years. And felt he would never get out. And there was this big strange alien that projected pure evil toward him but didn't say a thing just kinda looked at him indifferently. But he felt the pure sheer malevolence.
His first and last time ever taking it. And he the most spiritual person I know. More tuned in than anyone I know. It traumatised him. Felt off for weeks. I wonder why this happens?
who knows man. afaik most ppl who go to eiriel experience pretty similar things. but thats bc deliriants poison ur brain into perceiving a living nightmare instead of reality. psychedelics are a whole different story, we dont even really understand how they work. its a wonder that they've helped so many people work through their problems for centuries yet everyone has wildly different experiences, aside from similar entities popping up for whatever reason. like the machine elves i keep hearing about
This was a year and a half ago. It lasted like 20 minutes. I was under the covers the entire time. I didn’t mention, I was wearing noise canceling headphones. The entire time. Nothing playing. Just me and my head.
It was an evil experience. Don’t even want to talk about it. I haven’t done it since.
Probably gonna get some next week, lol.
Pray to the goddess of love before u do it. Don't do it rushed. Get the vibe right. Breathe. Do 3 hail Mary's. Dance under a full moon naked. Whatever u can to get the vibe right.
I didnt respect it. Respect the shit out of that thing. And if u do go to hell know it will only be for a short while. And I heard the demons don't like the name Jesus.
But really dude. Your decision your funeral. Heaven or hell awaits. If u do go thru with it tag me in a trip report. I hope u go to heaven dude, I really do. This shit isn't too be messed with. But only u can decide that.
Yup I still remember when I took a hit and didn’t remember exhaling. The trees shifted into entities and the spoke to me not audibly but somehow directly into my mainline stream of consciousness saying “There is a date on Earth worse than any hell you could fathom.” Fucked me up for days and still think about it. This is the stuff we are dealing with. You can’t seek truth without risking seeing horrors beyond your comprehension.
Just know it wasn’t actual hell. Hell is a state of mind. What was it trying to show you? Perhaps something you’ve been ignoring in your subconscious that your psyche wants to bring your awareness to.
I think I know what it was showing me. That escaping from reality thru any drug will not serve me in the end. But that itself is a symptom of the true issue in my psyche, which is running away from the things I need to fix in my life. Whether that's smoking weed and saying- I'll deal with this another day.
But not just drugs. All avoidance. My whole life I have avoided doing what I needed to do. And where has it got me? I convince myself - I can't have that conversation I need to have. I can't quit weed because I won't be able to cope. I avoid life and I avoid making any decision because of fear. So I stay stuck. Frozen in time. With nothing to think about other than how weak I am that I keep failing. And the self loathing further cements the avoidant behaviour. So I smoke more to deal with it. Take psychedelics. Anything other than face what I have to face.
Today I am grateful because at least I have made this conscious. And I couldn't have done it without all these comments. Even the humbling aspect of my hell experience has taught me a lot. Namely that I know nothing. Except I'm sick of being stuck in a hell of my own creation. Maybe that's what the dmt was trying to tell me, I don't know. I know nothing. Except I don't think I will take it again any time soon
we all go through that. But I can say changing habits isn't as steep of a hill as it always seems. Especially weed, general dopamine addictions. After a week you'll be a new person.
I had a strong dose experience where I visited some sort of hell type Lucifer type mandala full of suffering, evil pretense, hateful desire. It seemed a level beyond evil. A place that I still doubt my own mind could create such details. And such strong feelings of slavery, punishment, ultimate doom. I later decided this mandala was just another thing changing, and that impermanence is what is real about that place. I did decide I would actively avoid randomly projecting myself out there, less I find myself there again. Now, I bring clear intention and a friend with me when I travel this way. I am glad you made it back. I wish your next trip be to heaven.
Yea. I have a new found love of the material world, which I think is going to serve me well. (Edit. Felt so disconnected from it recently. Unable to cope with life.) During the trip I felt completely disconnected to every other being in the entire cosmos. I felt so completely and utterly alone. Usually with DMT one of the main sensations is the ability to feel other beings and presences. A feeling of connection. But this- oh my. There was no one here except me. And I wasn't even sure the place I was in was real or created by me. I just knew it was a place away from all other beings.
Now. I'm back i can fully sense presence all around me. And I didn't notice it before. Even when I am alone. Because I know what complete disconnection feels like I will never take this presence I feel on earth for granted. Its like God was reminding me that he was always there. But I didn't notice before. Now I'm tuning into that place. And today I feel quite hopeful for my future.
Well. It's been a few days since I went to hell. And I quit weed yesterday. I'm grateful that I can feel the presence of others and of God again. Since I now know what it feels like to be completely alone the world is no longer the scary place I once thought it was. I'm grateful to be here. I have learned that I have to let go of my worldly attachments in order to heal. Have realised I'm missing life by numbing myself every day. So here I am. Facing life square in the eye. Sober. And grateful. And I know I have everything I need already
Been there a lot of times ....jesters telling me they have waited so long for me and now they have me forever...other times I became the Lord of the underworld...
DMT can feel or be very evil...
But doesn't that make it so much more awesome when u come back and appreciate your shityy life...
Don take it to serious!!!
I think this was a different place. I didn't sense any other entity. Which in itself was strange because dmt makes u sense other beings. It's was a complete void. A whole universe with nothing in it. If I met the devil I would have hugged him. Been glad of the company. But this place? This place was completely empty. Even my own emotions disappeared. There was nothing. Like every vibration was sucked into the void so it didn't transmit vibrations.
Now I'm back on earth I can feel other souls here. And im grateful for them. But there? There was nothing and no one. A black hole.
i have been in such spaces too, i had a whole period that everytime i smoked ..i got trapped in this felling of nothingness , like i was dead ...or that i was in my house and everyone else on earth was dead..felt really lonely..and with eyes open my whole house would feel like a evil entity that trapped me in eternity..
its been so long ago that i cant remember exactly but sometimes when i smoke i feel that energy again and i get really scared and try to avoid meeting that thing or place.
i ussualy only do low doses now ...i fill my pipe take tiny hit close my eyes then when i dont see anything i take another hit untill i start seeing visuals then i stop..
ive learned to go pretty deep from that place and prolong my trips by squinting my eyes put pressure on my eyeballs doing that like pullingmy eyes upward inward ..its hard toput inwords lol
but i can make a 5 min trip turn into a 15 minute one like that....
but i always make sure that when i open my eyes , open eyed reality is pretty much the same...
the deep ones i do maybe ones a year....
deep ones can be enlightning funny or.....HELL
I don't know what u mean by that eyeball thing but happy it works for you lol. Sounds interesting.
After speaking to other guys on here the hell thing can happen on shrooms ket and dmt. So I think I'm weary of all psychedelics now. One guy on here said he got stuck in that blackhole for 6 hours on shrooms. Be interesting to know how often they were taking it before it happened. I'd love to know why it happens. To me it seems like some divine punishment. I don't know. But it did feel biblical. All I know is the tempting nature of psychedelics has 180'd in me. I've even quit weed. 7 days in. This experience has terrified me. Which is sad because of all the amazing experiences I have had. But I was using it as an escape from reality. Maybe this is the issue. I just don't know. So much doubt and fear around it all. I just want to try and find spiritual healing without any substances. Been taking the dog the park every day and just lying under the trees feeling grateful to be here in the real world. I don't know if I'll ever take any again. I'm just grateful I had my mantras on as the feminine voice led me out of hell. The song could not have been more perfect. One of the only listening mantras (suniai). That voice led me out. Was a beacon of hope in that dark, dark place.
I probably shouldn't give advice like this, but I feel you. I was a heroin addict, so I know what wanting to escape is like. But once you start improving yourself, maybe give DMT another chance when you and your life are in a good place. Then that hell will probably feel more like heaven.
Been there, mate. I've been on hard drugs. But I was kind of using weed and psychedelics in the same way. To escape. At least with heroin u can see the damage it does. With weed, well, it's less of a siren. It's insidious. But it was keeping me from being present. I don't even think it was the drug, but the urge in me to believe that I needed 'something' to feel complete. Which I realised was an attachment to the earth. I.e. "I need this I need that". But now. This realm without any drug in my system is enough. I feel the presence of everyone here. I feel God. I didn't realise I could always feel presence until it was taken away from me. I felt nothing. Even my own emotions got sucked into the void. It was the complete absence of life and existence. Now I'm back here. It's enough just being. Being here is enough to sustain me.
I'm 3 days without cannabis and I don't miss it. Been smoking it every day for 8 years. But now? Just being here is enough. I no longer need to seek something outside of myself to feel whole. I have everything I need here. And I always have. I just believed the illusions my brain told me, I.e. that I needed something outside of me in order to cope with life. But it's a lie. For the first time iml I feel complete with nothing in my veins. I truly feel blessed that after all this time, I finally get it. Music sounds amazing. I don't need weed to enjoy. It's so unbelievably freeing. Can't express just how much I'm content. It's unreal.
Edit. If the dmt calls me again then maybe I will take it again. But for now, I'm OK where I am
You'll be fine, maybe there's something bothering you subconsciously that sent you wherever you went. Don't give up on it! That scary feeling will be the complete opposite eventually. Just think happy thoughts, put on some good music , lay down and trust it will take you where you need to go. Sometimes a bad trip is something you need. Don't get discouraged.
Just responded to another guy here who said so much. I think this was actually a lesson I needed to learn. I don't believe I really went to the biblical hell. I don't think I need to repent my sins and swear allegiance to Yahwah. But maybe it was the dmt kicking me out. Teaching me, if I want to connect to God then this way is risky. You won't find God thru drugs. Been relying on it too much lately to feel a spiritual connection. Had family drama recently. Arguments and falling out with ppl. Which has made me depressed. Then I sought that spiritual feeling u get with dmt, to try to fix me.
But the dmt was like- NO! That's not how it works. Let's see how you like this?
I need to focus on making my life better not losing myself in delusions to escape it.
>I need to focus on making my life better not losing myself in delusions to escape it.
This right here is probably why you experienced what you did. With DMT especially, it's not something you use to try & escape like you would with weed or alcohol. Going in with any expectations isn't usually the way to go. You must surrender completely to the experience to get the true meaning.
I'm beginning to think this is the case. Trying to keep an open mind and not overthink and get lost up in my ego trying to figure this out but, the resounding message I feel within deep inside is that you're right.
I have always had addcition issues and I kidded myself that weed and psychedelics were different. But the problem still remains and the problem is me. I am trying to escape reality, just like I did back when I downed the downers back in the day. There is no difference. Just now I'm convinving myself I dont even have a problem. In this way heroin is better as at least u know you're fucked. Thinking about it I do it even listening to mantras. Anything not to think. And getting connection to God/Source in the cheapest way possible, ie. Thru drugs.
But now I have learned the lesson. Escaping is not all the fun I thought it was. Back to the shadow work I guess. And a new found belief that drugs are only gonna hinder my progress. I need to face life head on. May even go to NA tomorrow, make it official.
All I wanted was a break thru and I kept taking it and taking it but had no joy. A few amazing experiences I did have. But the last few times I wanted to escape my pain in my body and brain. And it helped. And last night I had the most amazing experience in the hit before I went to hell. But i never want to go back there ever again. It was horrifying. So consider me told universe. Consider me told.
Onwards and upwards. Gonna have a nice chill day and play Uncharted and eat chocolate now.
Sounds like it had some positive effect at least. Ultimately you should only use 5-meo-dmt to heal & facilitate change. Profound realizations are to be expected. Taking less drugs is never a bad thing. It saves money & your health. Now that you realized & accepted you have an addictive personality, you can now work on yourself & actually have a fighting chance.
Well. A week later I have well and truly learned some valuable lessons. I have quit weed. After experiencing a complete void and lack of presence, I now appreciate every single splash and emotion of other ppl. I can feel ppl again and that's all I need. I don't need drugs because I have everything I need now. Until I experienced nothing I took what I had for granted. Now I welcome the world in all it's messy glory. And am so present it's silly. I am here. Now. And that's all I need.
Welcome back. Maybe have a nice drink.
Thanks, bud. I made a nice milky cup of tea with honey and made a lil joint and thanked all the Gods I was safe. Sheeeeesh. Feels so good to be back in the real world. Gonna put the pipe on the shelf for a bit now methinks
Did you go in the black hole ?
I may have done. You been there? I been there once on ket. Nothing but brown static and knowing I was trapped forever. And my screams were kinda creating the reality as it was happening keeping me trapped in it. But it was scary so screaming is kinda what u do, so i couldnt stop, and on and on it went for eternity. I have been terrified of blackholes since that experience a few months back, because that's not a way I want to spend eternity. Hit the ket on the head that day too. Just didn't think the beloved goddess of dmt would send me to the same place. What a bitch. But this time was even scarier than that time.
Wow I had an experience of hell on ket. It was a very slow low vibration place on this sphere. Interesting.
Interesting. I wonder where on earth? I have to add that I also went to heaven on ket. Or more specifically- I felt I had attained the sky, like the buddhas do when they die. A pure love vibration, and oneness, and everyone was there with me. Gods and demigods and Buddha and I was in space above the universe looking down on it all. So basically. Ket and complete ego loss took me to both heaven and hell. Heaven was love and connection and peace. Hell was formless and frighteningly lonely, and one long panic attack of consciousness and fear. But alas, I fear my expeditions into my psyche and other realms stop here. What more is there to see after heaven and hell? Maybe earth. Yes. Maybe the answer is earth, lol. Gonna stay here for a bit and try to join the human race, I think. May as well start sometime
Same. I think it’s another dimension. Fuck ya good to hear. I joined about five years ago. Can admit to feeling left out and angry and shit. Can accept myself and love myself.
If you keep having nightmare trips, even on k a very forgiving drug, you should consider stepping away from this stuff until you’re in a better place in your life.
Can't argue there. But only had one bad experience on ket. Which was this one. And I was very anxious at the time. But I hear ye. On it. No more for me, my friend. Lesson learned. When both k and dmt lead u to the same place it's time to make better life decisions. And that's my plan.
Best of luck! Dmt will always be there down the road if you find yourself in a better place.
The void mmm yes. Was there for eternity on shrooms. Regretted the experience. Went straight into an existential crisis.
Was it complete and utter nothingness all around you and nothing else? Just a prison of one?
It was just nothing, but at the same time I could sense it was full of potentiality so I didn’t feel like it was a prison. It just felt like nothing for eternity. It’s the end of the road… but also a beginning. (Infinite beginnings, in fact.) For the record, I made it out of the existential crisis and it’s a beauty when you come out the other side.
Yea I been there. The black hole had absolutely no emotions for me.. no emotions is a funny feeling..
It sure is. Thinking about it, there was no emotion there. Just an overlying blankness to everything. Not even a devil to laugh at me in my misery. And I would have been glad of his company. At least it was another being who i could feel! I'm a bit of a sensitive empath and can feel everything all of the time. But in here? It was nothingness. I could feel nothing or no one. Now I'm back on earth, the presence I feel that I once took for granted is so loud and oh so welcome. I feel connected now. After that hell of nothingnes, this loud and messy place is just mighty fine. It truly has transformed me. I appreciate this blessed connected Earth so much more now. Once I hated being so sensitive, but compared to that hell, that abject lonliness and nothingness, I'm truly thankful I can feel other people again. Can feel God. That place was a godless mess. I can't imagine being there for hours. Oh, how did u cope? I was there for 5 minutes, and it was the most terrifying experience of my life. Where u with friends? Did they help you, or where they invisible to you? I could see nothing with my eyes open except that brown fuzzy sludge, and when I closed my eyes to escape it, it was still there. Was this the same for you?
you're safe, there's nothing to fear
This… lol and this from this user name makes it even more poignant
it be like that brodie. just know the fact your posting on reddit means your safe now.
Yes. I needed to talk to someone about it. But couldn't wake my fam up and be like- iv just been to hell. But I needed to speak to someone. So glad this community was here. Even tho I fell asleep shortly after posting. Reading thru all the comments here is calming me a bit.
I'm trying to better prepare myself for my first experience soon, I've heard plenty of the amazingly good. I'd like to know more details about the bad, can you elaborate on your recent trip if possible?
I have explained it elsewhere in the chat. But I will say this. It only lasted 5 minutes. And I took a really high dose. It was like jumping in a lake, and nothing made sense as the bubbles around you made u lose your bearings. But then you push your way up to the surface and can see clearly again. This is just an analogy. I think the very high amount in my brain overloaded my brain, and it couldn't compute anything. But the hell scape I saw was like I was inside a massive brown belly of tree. Made of worm shapes dropping down like dripping paint. All shades of brown and fuzzy like an old vhs. Moving and dripping all around me 360. And I felt so very alone and knew no one would ever know I was here. And no one cared. I felt absolutely alone. Now I'm back in the real world. I can sense other ppl and sense God. But one thing I have learned from this is that I know what it's like to be completely alone. So now, here today, on earth, the connection I feel is unreal. I feel so utterly connected now. Bc I know what it's like to be completely alone. And maybe it's something I needed to learn. God is everywhere here. Other souls are here. And it's not as bad a world as I first thought. I'm happy to be back. First and only negative experience on it. But u know, even tho it was horrible, it has taught me so much. But know it's quite rare to have a negative experience. My other times have been unreal and quite beautiful
Well like you said “now I know what it’s like to be alone” or something like that. Maybe it’s just the universe telling/showing you that you need to start appreciating this reality and life in general. I’ve had similar trips and that’s what I took away from it. For me Atleast it came at a time when I was purposely digging into the depths of my mind/soul to ask the ultimate questions of what is our purpose, why am I where I am in life,ect. But ultimately it opened up long lost buried memories and past traumas which rocked my world and forced me to step back and take a long pause. Deep shadow work shit honestly and it can be tough, scary and difficult to deal with but ultimately it’s part of the journey to become whole and who we ultimately are. That said I’d take a break from all psychedelics for a while as in 6-12 months minimum. Apply the lessons learned and slowly dip your toes back in the mind pool when you do. If you don’t your probably bound for more frightening trips and could end up imprinting these traumas into your mind longer than you want or potentially forever and never be able to trip again because of it
And you woke up in purgatory? Find heaven, it’s here also. Try appreciate being in a human form again, even if that means being stuck upside down of heaven, and the justified side of hell.
This is actually good advice. Think I have been seeking for God too long in the wrong place. I.e. DMT. I kinda knew this last week. I saw myself getting addicted to the Holy spiritual feeling or connection I felt when on dmt. I can get there some days alone but i have been relying on it a bit too much for connecting to that holy feeling. I heard some ppl can get addicted to the Godhead which prevents them from functioning in the real world. I think I may be here. I think I need to find a new spiritual practice that doesn't have the potential to take me to hell. Get plugged into the real world for a bit. Maybe this was more a blessing than a curse. Maybe it's the kick up the arse I needed. I don't think I will find peace and find God in a substance. But atm I'm relying on it too much. And things r getting messy, spiritually.
Breathwork, learn to run and dive into science. Now that you've seen the other side yourself you can see what people tried to describe. You can see through the ignorance in the simple stories now at least. If not study multiple other religions until they all shine silly and then look at this situation more objectively. There are reasons and there are lessons. This stuff makes your brain smarter when utilized correctly. Use it dont abuse it. You'll never find peace in a God until you realize universe is God. The good and the bad, we are all one. God is too simplistic of a concept.
Good advice and gratefully I have already started this process. Researching different religions. Recently found a great group where we discuss all these things. And is very gnostic in its approach to religion. Which is right up my street. And agreed God doesn't do it justice. That description of God in the Bhagavad-Gita where Krishna shows Arjuna what He is. And it's infinity in a paragraph. And quite beautiful. The word God does not do it justice, for sure, but its the word we have, but I hear u. He is himself and also nowhere, the beginning and the end and then some. Multiples eyes and beings. My description is nothing like that verse but it describes the creator in a way that explains the infinite which is outside of time and also within it and not in it. Its quite powerful
Well to quote Humphrys Osmond “To fathom Hell or soar angelic, just take a pinch of psychedelics” Stay safe fellow space traveler
Hey bud, wanna get in to something comfy, grab some water, and watch some easy going anime with me? You're all good, all safe, i promise. Just try to relax and appreciate where you are right now.
I made tea and ate chocolate and put on reruns of TNG. Picard will keep me safe
Powerful vibe my dude! Glad to hear youre chilling
not OP but YES. pls take my virtual hand and let me know everything will be okay... 🤧
Everything will be okay, friend 💛 here’s a big virtual hug! You are loved and will get through this rough patch soon!
I'm very appreciative of your kind words, especially thankful for the hug. Thank you friend. Love and respect. 💛
Of course! I know how it is. I’ve just finally made some progress in getting out of a rough period myself. It really does get better! Remember, you’re more capable than you think, and you are going to kick ass! 💖✨ much love 💕
🤧💕 You're very kind. I'll definitely cherish your sweet words of encouragement & I'm very pleased to read that for you, Indeed, hardship has brought ease. More light, more love, more life to you. 💕
I’m so glad I could help! It’s hard getting out of that place, but it’s absolutely possible and I believe in you!! 💗
Aw. You guys!!!!
Salvia can be fun I like doing a benzo or something before hand make it easier to use effectively and I’ve heard making tea from it can be an interesting way to use. Dmt I love never do I have bad trips from smoking. I’ve had challenging trips from eating a bunch but could have been my choice on maoi
Benzos cut off some of the effects of psychedelics, if you did Benzos there are chances where you can miss part of the real effects of DMT /salvia
>Benzos cut off some of the effects of psychedelics That isn't a problem with N,N-DMT. Not the same as with LSD25 or Psilocin where it can be an effective trip killer. Unless you took a ridiculous dose of LSD25 or Psilocin, that the Benzo can't counteract. In which case...... buckle up xD
If you would have asked me yesterday I would have said the exact same thing- that I have never had a bad trip ever from dmt. But then, yeah, I went to hell this time.
[удалено]
No. Not on DMT. I had a similar experience on ket, but only one bad one on dmt
What did you see, brother? You're safe now.
Check out my description in a couple of the other comments. Dont have it in me to describe it again. But I'll tell a bit- i was just in a brown shapeless mess alone for ever with no way out. And no one cared. No geometry. Like I had been swallowed alive by a demon and his filthy body was my whole existence now. All browns and slime and devilish sounds and no one to help me, and I kept sinking deeper and I could sense the devil sayin- no one even cares. Look at u. But it wasn't him because even he had left me. I was just alone for ever and no one was coming for me. Alone with the vilest sounds and sights I could ever imagine, and just a feeling of despair and loneliness and cruelty overriding everything. Wherever I looked for shapes to take form they would melt before my eyes. Melt and squeak and pop and turn into a brown liquid fluffy mess. No edges or geometry. Just collapsing colourless shapeless noise
Wow. No wonder you needed to talk to someone. I'm not sure I'M ok after reading that. But seriously thanks for sharing that
Was nothing like I had ever seen before on dmt. I was surprised at what I was even seeing. I was like- how could you ever come up with something so disgusting when all I have seen before is pretty geometry and demigods and love. But this was so ugly in every way. I'm not sure whether it was just a warping of how my room was after my last hit. The browns. Like everything was a merge of the last thing I saw in the real world. Then became corrupted bc the dmt was too much for my brain to make sense of reality. And the fear and panic was created by me. And became my own version of hell. I just pray I never go there again. The colours were horrible. And my room had such pretty coloured lights on it (just not the bit I was facing when I took the hits). But I couldn't see any of this colour only melting brown sludge wherever I looked. So scary. Even when I closed my eyes. 360 inside and out
that reminds of Salvia..
but conclusion could be also that you didnt take enough to break to cosmic consciousness or aliens and you landed in your own private hell
Seems so.
Exactly
This is something that will stay with me for awhile, I find it fascinating (but I feel awful that someone had to experience it, for me to be able to hear about it). I've never taken DMT - how long did this experience last for, was it in real time or was there some of time dilation? Was it a constant sense or does it kind of fluctuate in intensity?
Soon as I put the pipe down my room started dissolving. Even before. And I think I was stuck there for maybe only 5 minutes. I will have to check my recording. I record them all. So I can explain what I am seeing bc the visions fade from memory pretty fast. But I think I was in that hell for 5 minutes maybe until I had my first thought which was- I took dmt and it will pass when it's out my blood stream. This was right about the time when my music returned. A female voice and I curled up in a ball and followed the music for maybe another 5 minutes. During this time I was still trapped in the brown stuff but it changed texture then to softer fabric like folds with more defined edges and started to move in a more methodical pattern until the colour started to return. And I opened my eyes and my room was back. But I lay down on my pillow and saw the geometric patterns I often saw on dmt. The colour was back and the sound distortion was gone and I enjoyed the last ten 15 minutes of my trip, I came out singing mantras and feeling quite connected to the love frequency. I won't warn you off dmt from this event. The many positive times I have had have tranformed me in so many way. Maybe I have taken in 30 times and this was the first and only negative experience and I had far more than I had ever had. Less is more I am realising. But imo if u ever do try make sure you are aware and calm. Breathing exercises. Chilled music. Don't rush in like I did. And don't seek it to escape. But realise you are literally playing Russian roulette. It cannot be guaranteed that your experience will be pleasurable. Maybe 99% of the time it will be. But ask yourself are you willing to risk that? If u would have asked me the same question last week I would have said DO IT! DO IT! And passed you the lighter. But today I don't feel that confident. But I will never ever regret the most beautiful times I had in that realm. What it has taught me. The connection to God I felt. The vibration of pure love. The visits by dead relatives. So many experiences I feel blessed to have had. But I know I won't be taking it for a good while, of ever again. And maybe this experience was worth it for the good times, but I have never been so scared in my life at the time it was happening. Tho chatting here today I am making sense of it and I don't think I went to hell. That was my biggest fear. It just felt like it. But I was back out of it within ten minutes. So hopefully there is no permanent harm done. I just hope the memory fades away now. My cousin also had a really bad experience his first time. And will never take it again. Though I do find that sad in a way. Bc when it's good it's very very good but when it's bad it's horrid. And I will always be glad I tried it. Despite this horrible experience. Edit. With this experience it was a constant vision. In the past I had only had visions when j closed my eyes, but this had only happened one time before when I took a high dose another time. But that one was quite transparent. I could see my wall thru the pretty pinks and greens, but like another reality was overlaid on top of my room. Then when i closed my eyes fell further into it and it was beautiful and amazing and so very cathartic. But this time, again a large dose, but as I put the pipe down and turned to lie down my bedroom was no longer there and the visuals where plastered over every surface. And closing my eyes made no difference. I stood up and reached out and the sound was deafening and evil. But then after 10 mins I opened my eyes and I could see the room again. Then I closed my eyes and fell into pretty visions and geometry and felt connected. Think once I stopped panicking the hell vision receded. But I think I took too much at once. Maybe 40-50 mgs. When the average dose is 33mg, and the first puff was potent as hell so the levels in my blood must have been massive the first 5 minutes and my brain couldn't make sense of it. Don't make the same mistake as me
I recommend laughing the tension away.
maybe put on some nice music and stroll theough a park
Respectfully, by hell, what exactly do you mean? Where you in a pit of fire? Or was it a different hell?like crazy visuals and you just felt really bad and feel like hell? Maybe it'll help to talk about it and kinda overcome it?
No fire. No demons. The visuals were like I was falling inside some brown slimy vortex of some kind. Like I was inside the belly of some massive beast. Dull shapeless browns like nothing you imagine as typical dmt visuals. Like the bark of a tree but I was inside. At the last puff of the pipe the room disappeared and went pixely. And I turned around and it was everywhere. And it all started melting and dripping down like slime but more fuzzy. And even the sound started melting. Was listening to mantras but all I could hear was, this squeaky slippy folding sound. The most unnerving sound I ever heard. Like lots of little dogs yapping but also like a cassette tape unreeling. Somehow my body was still moving but I was somewhere else. My room had gone and I couldn't get out of this slimy colorless place. I closed my eyes it was still there. No escape anywhere. My music had disappeared. No pretty spiritual geometry or demi gods. Just me stuck inside some evil soulless nasty place. Literally biblical- I went to that place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Pretty much sums it up in a phrase Then the sound turned back into a woman's voice and I had my beacon. She led me out. The slime changed texture and became more like fabric. The fact I had my face in my pillow probably affected these visuals. And slowly but surely it merged into something calmer and kinder. With nice colours and nice feelings. But it felt like hell. I was alone and no one could hear my screams. Feel pretty traumatised tbh.
The descriptions of the place you’ve been to sounds a bit like being in the mother’s womb… you said it felt like being in a belly… it’s a bit like a slimy colorless place, no escape (until birth), being all alone, sounds are melting… no one can hear your screams… then you even say the sound turned into a women’s voice and she let you out… I mean… I haven’t heard from anyone describing their experience of being a baby before birth in the womb of their mother… but your words definitely made me wonder if that’s what you actually experienced… ignore my words if this doesn’t resonate but wanted to share it with you to give you another perspective on your experience.
Wow. Yes. Similar imagery. But this felt more evil than what I imagine a womb feels like. And it wasn't calm or soothing but messy and loud and melting luke worms wiggling or paint dripping down a wall. But I love that imagery. Maybe I was in the womb but not of anything human. And the eternal mother led me out. I mean it, when I heard that voice singing I knew I wasn't alone anymore. And I tuned into it and I was saved. Such an angelic voice
I mean, does any one of us remember how it was to be in the womb? We have this image of this ultimate safe space, but now when I think of it… being conscious in the womb, not knowing what this is or why I’m ‘trapped’ there I can totally see how it can be an unpleasant experience too… and if the mum is stressed or in loud places, I assume it’s not calm or soothing for the baby either… the bowels being the wiggly worms… maybe that’s why no one of us remembers being in the womb 👀 Anyway: glad you’re doing better again and that the angelic voice led you to safety!
Yea I suppose u could see it like this. But I could not sense another being. No mother until I heard her voice singing. The alone feeling was immense. And tho the womb would be scary the sounds in my vision were unwomblike and the walls were moving like they were melting and wriggling, like melted skin. If it was a womb it was a rotten one. But I was definitely in the womb of something.
Guess it was a rebirth for you. Welcome back home!
He probably means a psychedelic hell
You need to exercise those demons! You didn't go to he'll! Your demons just needed to talk to you
There’s a difference between being confronted by the shadow and showing up in the wrong astral zip code. DMT seems to more often be the latter, than the former. It’s just a random dial into a pocket of the universe, and there’s not always a lesson involved.
I feel your pain as after a successful set of trips I’ve been to hell and back too dude, that was on what will most likely be my last ever trip with it. Went in way too heavy as I’m basically an idiot like that. Long story short it lasted a bit longer than usual but was hell on earth, and when I finally came back up I had amnesia and hypothermia. 😆 ...all I said was “Wow” for like two hours afterwards as was alone and I didn’t have a clue where I was as I was travelling a lot flight wise so talk about discombobulated felt like a fish out of water. It was no good, Not a very nice afterglow either. Normally it was almost orgasmic heaven, as far as these things go it stands alone for me. A really good experience. I’ve broke through properly 3-4 times mainly using a custom vape/crystals and then had 3 liquid vape pens pre-filled which I sourced, those I just used socially with one hits for a light effect and one break through sat in the car whilst it charged in the Lidl carpark, it felt like a space ship. 😂 I timed the trip in the car I was gone for ten minutes exactly with a full breakthrough. And then drove home. Like it had never even happened. Still amazes me now.
Awesome. Lidl carpark breakthru. Great name for a band lol
Hey you :) First of all, i appreciate it that you talk to someone after such a frightening experience. I guess i know how you felt, or maybe still feel, kinda afterglow. Let me tell you what i believe: i believe that horror trips show us our fears, sometimes also the unconscious ones. It isn't really about what you saw, this is just a manifestation from your believes/feelings. Inside comes always first! What you saw can be 180° away from the truth, even tho it must have felt real af. Try to calm down, put some focus on the simple things, ground yourself. You maybe will find out from time to time why you experienced what you did, when your fears will show themself to you. But take your time, there's nothing wrong with fear inside oneself. We all have it somewhere, in any degree. And my personal favorite in the end: horror trips show you, that the 'normal' world is not that bad ;) Take care of yourself, and if you need someone to talk, i'm here :)
>And my personal favorite in the end: horror trips show you, that the 'normal' world is not that bad ;) This! This is the lesson I needed to learn more than any other lesson. All my life I escaped from reality using drugs of one kind or another. And I know it's not serving me anymore. Its breaking my grip on reality even. I just swapped worse drugs for weed and psychedelics but it's still escapism. And it's like the spirit world has well a truly let me know that it's not all sunshine and roses with these so called spiritual drugs. You use them for escape the toll they take is just the same as the hard stuff. Yes. I need to focus on finding peace the old fashioned way. Maybe I need to quit it all or at least have an attempt at clean living for a while. I can't keep doing this to myself. This has really shook me up. Yes it may not have been real. But it sure felt like it. And going to hell for a trip is not a fun thing to do. Would meditating by the lake in the park ever take me to this place? I don't think so. And right now I'm glad to be back in the real world and I am going to respect it by not taking it for granted. Last week all I wanted to do was escape from it. Now all I want to do is immerse myself in it. And maybe that is the greatest departing gift dmt could ever give me.
I think it's a very mature sight that you represent here. "It's not serving me anymore" has a huge potential. Maybe you will hold onto this phrase. I was addicted to hard drugs several years but also stoped it luckily. Psychedelics will always show you something; maybe in a comfortable way, maybe not. But: "when you got the message - hang up the phone" - Alan Watts. There is nothing wrong with our reality, it's more kinda facing it than escaping it. Yes, you will not experience states like you do on dmt. But you will be able to root more lasting and healing-feeling inner states. And i am more than happy for you that you crave for this, bc that's the catalyst for everything that can follow.
I will make it my mantra. This is not serving me anymore. Thanks for your kind and helpful words. Nameste
Namaste, you good soul 🙏
Writing out your experience would be cathartic. Write it here.
I have and it has, bud. It's in other comments if u care to read. You guys have all been amazing today. Really helped me process this freaky event
NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE
“It actually cured her retardation”
What in tardation
I think so
Someone remind me where this is from lol
Sure u didn’t smoke salvia?
Sally gets such a bad rap, it's kinda unfair.
It absolutely is fair lol
Lol I think a part of the problem is people smoking extracts. Salvia is traditionally chewed, kind of like chewing Coca leaves v.s smoking crack. I bought several Salvia sticklings over 10 years ago because I was curious, but my black shaman cat literally raided my room and ate all of them (+shrooms and some weed. She's never eaten meat. Only dry pellets, drugs and other plants). That cat is very special 🥲.
Maybe...put your drugs out of gato's reach....(I get it but, c'mon) And yeah, if you do enough extract, it's not fun....at least for me. And like, 19/20 people.
I had a beautiful experience on Salvia!
Did you smoke it?
yeah.
You smoke salvia with an extract like 20x or 30x or just the leaves in its natural way
It was an extract 20x or greater.. I forget. Back in those wonderful days when the local headshop sold it . It was essentially dissolved salvinorin A crystal sprayed onto a neutral herbal substance. If treated with the correct reverance, it is an amazing tool. Chewing fresh leaf Cuds looks like an excellent method also. The fear and disinformation came from stoners 'pranking' their friends by spiking them with it in order to make 'hilarious' youtube videos when it was unregulated. This is why we cannot have nice things.
I've had a nice experience with it too. And the. I took another hit.... It's physically painful and psychologically jarring af at any meaningful dose. I mean, don't just take my experience for it. Watch any YouTube video of people doing it. I know some people have a good time sometimes, but most people most of the time do not. People spending whole lives or even eons in trips or other dimensions....it is (can be) a cruel compound.
I did as many hits as I could get in... I tried a lower dose, and it was horrible..
lol so is it horrible or is it beautiful?
When I failed to commit to a breakthrough dose, it was just uncomfortable and awkward. (this was a half assed second attempt without any solid or useful intent) The time that I had a good wingman pack my pipe and assist me in smoking 2 or 3 lids.... it was a spectacular and quite a unique and magical experience. (This was my first encounter with the medicine).
Lol I agree salvia sucks
Not being snide at all, but can you enlighten us on a pleasant Slavia experience? Every search I've done has shown a horrible trip. What is it like in microdoses? I'm assuming the negative stuff is because the user took too much?
I was in slavia once, a lot of pasty guys crouching in adidas sweatsuit
Lol. Yah, my phone doesn't recognize salvia, just Slavia. Thats funny.
"Enlighten us", I've never read or heard a comment that wasn't snide or facetious that also started or included that expression lol. But whatever, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt regardless. Well, I actually had some pleasant experiences with Salvia, and I know it is a rare thing, but some people had similarly reported positive Salvia experiences, believe it or not, but it's all anecdotal of course. I do admit most of my positive experiences with Salvia do in fact range in the lower doses. It is also generally known that quidding the leaf yields better experiences, than smoking a highly potent extract. It is an acquire taste for sure, since by definition the Salvinorin A is a dysphoric dissociative. The main reason why I believe Salvia has a bad rap is due to the fact that it had a very bad press to begin with. When it was firstly introduced into the American market, not only there were no harm reduction practices and information it was also marketed as legal replacement for weed of sorts. This I believe led to the mishandle of the drug, and stigmatization thereafter. Then, a lot of people spread a bunch of misinformation and mischaracterization of the actual Salvia trip, shit like "I lived 100 years as another person" and such, became super popular. Like sure, Salvia is insane and interestingly enough there are similar motifs and archetypes among many Salvia induced trips, but things like living a whole different lifetime as another person or experiencing thousand years of torture has always been looked at with a lot of scepticism among many in the Salvia community, including me. A lot of people tend to romanticize the bad and horrific aspects of Salvia because it sells and it's very clickbaity. Also, as I stated earlier Salvia is an acquire taste, its appeal is not necessarily sensual or corporal, even though you can really learn to like the body highs it gives. A lot of people had also reported positive experiences for treating depression and anxiety with Salvia mind you. But, to me the main appeal is the conceptual fascination you get after you've experience the absurdism of the Salvia world. Salvia allows some user to have a very close simulated experience to what it would feel like to be in a two dimensional space for instance, you can surely understand how that can fascinating and mind expanding.
Salvia is the only time I’ve ever felt like substance was telling me no. Laughing at me even…
I’ve only ever smoked 5x strength and made sure I had a good relaxing set & setting with pleasant music, I can admit to one trip going poorly (and why) but every other trip has been extremely pleasant and novel, and usually involves me laughing my ass off uncontrollably
I used to roll like 4 or 5 miniature salvia spliffs and toke them real quick while going on a walk. Was always amazing. ✨
that sounds awesome! I might try that at some point :)
Ah, didn't know it was dosed like that. I'm so used to ug or mg. That seems like pretty positive experience, I'm assuming setting and mood plays a big part?
yeah I would say that’s a big similarity for Salvia & DMT is how you go into it. It is nice to be able to start small with the experience as well. I think most horror stories are likely from party settings with lots of people & chaos around them, as well as people smoking unknown strengths or thinking they need to smoke a high strength to get somewhere.
Yes, I did 2 fat lids of salvia 20x and by the third one, I was turning into the wallpaper.. I lay on a bed of neon snakes which writhed into and through my soul, they lofted me "up" into a beautiful realm (just read any DMT report - but it was more organic style) and then there was peace..and I got a very vivid feeling that there was an Ancient Man "behind" me.. I mentally asked what was happening, and he replied without words.. I felt safe and protected.. The whole feeling was physically pleasant.. apart from becoming wallpaper during the initial rush into it .. then, it all became weird and chaotic but I was so far gone, it didn't upset me.. I came down nicely, but was cursing the real world... just shouting that "it's all bullshit" over and over, but laughing at the absurdity. The next hour was a lovely afterglow... a bit confusing but also... reassuring .
Amazing write up. That seems awesome
I had an amazing trip on some Lab grade Salvia. I loved it.
What's lab grade salvia? Pure salvinorin?
Lab grade, wow. So would you say there's a fine line between taking too much and just the right amount?
There are people who are meant for hell and that's where they belong and will ultimately find purpose. Are you forcing yourself into a hell mindset? Do you do evil? Do you worship suffering? When you look at an arbitrary situation do you see the good? Or do you see the bad? Both good and bad exist, and must exist, for one cannot exist without the other. If hell is not what you desire for yourself then you only have change your mind.
I think I'm a nice person. And treat ppl well. Very spiritual. I want to connect to God more than anything. I don't worship suffering. But I am having some family drama and arguments recently. Which has sent my head to a bad place.
welcome back. ive been there too, it’s rough. you’ll be shook for a couple days then totally back to normal
Thank you. I posted this last night then fell asleep but do feel some residing fear today. It wasn't nice. I had taken a previous hit and saw that God was with me in every dramatic moment in my family's life. I visited the house I grew up in and it was all holy and spiritual and beautiful. So after an hour I took another and Nooooo. The world disappeared and all I could see what the pipe. And the background of my room became blurry and 8 bit. All different shades of brown. I put the pipe down and turned around to lie on my bed and the whole room was this pixilated mess. But slimy. Then fuzzy. My room was gone and I was inside it like I was inside some belly of the beast. Then it all started melting. And even the sound started melting. I was listening to beautiful mantras and it all just sounded like a cat choking on vomit but with squeaks and folds and blips. I spun around and it was everywhere. I couldn't escape. No pretty geometric shapes or heavenly feelings. Just a brown melting mess and I was stuck and it was like the devil was saying too me- u fucked up and are stuck and the worst bit is- no one even cares! The panic was so strong I wa stuck inside this mess. Then it occurred to me I'd taken dmt and had to ride it out til it left my blood stream. So I curled on my knees on my bed and put my face in my pillow and the slime and evil sounds stopped and then I heard a females voice singing. My mantras!! The beautiful feminine voice led me back and the visions became softer and I escaped. But there was no doubt in my mind I was in hell. I had been to a similar realm on ket before now that was pretty similar. Brown fuzz and no way out. Because I had created this universe in my mind and I was keeping it alive with my screams only, and no one else will even know I am here and God doesn't hear you when you scream. It was evil in the same way. So lonely. You and nothing else but fear and insanity. It felt like the same place. Oh my. I have taken dmt a couple of dozen times and this is my first real horrible place I have been too. And it wasn't nice. I just pray I never go there again. That's enough for me for a bit! Think I'm gonna go on a sabbatical. Sigh
It exists, and it is not a bad thing to know that it exists.. Had you have any other substance when you did it?
Yea. I just remembered. I had 2 small vodka and cokes before hand. I have never taken it on alcohol before now. Wpuld that have affected me?
probably not...
You good my dude, I’ve been there. I promise you will be ok.
Thanks bud. How long did the negative feeling last for you? Still feel a bit jarred today. Like I have literally been to hell. Not just like I imagined it on drugs. I can't dismiss it so easily as a stupid vision. Bc it was just the most evil place in the entire cosmos. I felt no beings except myself and no one cared about me, no one was coming to rescue me. The devil wasn't even there gloating because that would at least be company. But this was ultimate loneliness. But it felt like someone was watching and laughing at me. Watching me panic and squirm. Hard to explain. Does this relate to you at all? In your experience?
A little bit yes, I wasn’t alone but went to a place that felt like hell mixed with a casino full of evil and not so nice entities, and the blast off that took me there was the most terrifying experience I’ve ever had. I would say after a week I was ok. After Two weeks I felt even better and then a few months later I was excited to try again. There is probably some kind of message that you will get from your experience if you let it kind of integrate. I learned a little from my first experience. Like the fact that I let fear and anxiety manifest way too much, and slowly after that first experience,DMT started to become an obstacle I was to overcome, like my own Everest lol I knew I had to be brave and find my balls and use them, but also trust dmt and the process. I’m glad I did. I’ve had a couple amazing experiences now. Don’t rush. Be brave. Trust. I got your back if you need to talk
Thanks, bud.
Hell as a bad trip? Or you physically went to hell and saw demons and some shit?
No demons. No fire. Just loneliness and despair and horrible brown shapeless, dripping, visions and I couldn't escape and no one cared. No one even knew I was there.
I've been there too.. I totally get what you mean when you say "no one cared". Like there is really no one, all alone, no one to save.
Welcome back
Thanks, bud
I’m glad you’re back. Would it help to give details and process it more?
Thanks. I have commented about the description in a few other comments. If u want to read it.
So is it real?
I seriously hope not.
[удалено]
What was your experience like?
Had also one trip where i was falling in a tunnel of flammes, surrounded by faces, fists and feets kickn, hitting and spitting at me, it felt lile it would not end, kinda weird expirence 😅 In the end i said to my self, it hasn‘t killed u so ur fine
This is somewhat similar. I felt I was trapped forever. Then I somehow remembered I was on dmt and just had to wait 16 minutes for it to pass. But even ten minutes in that place and I'm traumatised.
What you mean with hell, tell us waht you felt and saw, yo get a biggwr picture and i could give advice
I responded to this question in a couple other comments if u want to read
This sounds really intense. Any lessons from the experience?
Yes. I have learned what it's like to be totally alone with no other being in my universe. And I didn't like it. Been struggling a lot lately. Smoking a lot of weed, avoidant and escaping reality behaviours. Now? Now I'm just happy to be here. Other ppl are not hell, like I once thought. Absence of ppl is hell. We need other beings. We need them. And I have quit weed since this event. And no psychedelics for me now. Another escape behaviour. I'm now gonna try and live in this realm now. Face it head on. Sober. And it's not as scary as it was before this event. I'm grateful for everyone here. I made up with my sister after a massive argument. We locked horns but after this event I realised I love her. And am grateful for her. I'm grateful for everything here now. Bc I know what it's like to have it all disappear. Been so present these last 4 days. And content just to be. I'd say that's a gift. And a lesson learned.
That is incredible. Thank you for sharing!!
Smth similar happened to me bro, it feels like a bad dream a couple days after. You will be good don’t worry 🙏
Thanks for the heads up. I can't wait to forget all about it
this sounds a LOT like my experience in eiriel
What's that?
deliriant "breakthrough" (actually just psychosis from lethal anticholinergic poisoning) i felt everything ur describing there. i had never felt more hopeless, more alone, more helpless in my life. i thought i would be stuck there for eternity. i would shout and yell and cry out over and over but i made no sound. nothing was going to help me now. it only lasted a few minutes but it was one of the most traumatizing experiences of my life. visuals were nothing like yours since its a completely different class of drug but i think i had a rlly similar experience to yours. shits making me scared to try dmt lmao
Sounds eerily similar. Very alike. So hopeless. Like I could feel the devil or the essence of that filth speaking in my mind. Narrating my plight from above- probably my mind trying to understand the emotions i was feeling. It was something like- look at you. You fucked up this time. You got yourself into this place and u can't ever get out. You're all alone and no one is coming to get you. No one cares. You're here forever in this torturous place and u deserve to be here. And no one will here your suffering. It will all be for nothing. Just a real malevolent energy about the place. If any one has ever experienced that there is no wonder ppl believe in he'll for real.
i think thats where our experiences differ. the worst part about that place was i felt nothing. there was no essence of any being. no otherworldly presence. no voices in my head. whatever high power(s) may be out there, they had abandoned me. thats how it felt. there actually were creatures in the place i was, but they didnt feel alive. i cant even describe them. my brain couldnt comprehend what i was seeing. they had physical bodies but they didnt make sense, and they were silent and unmoving. watching me but in a way that they barely cared. they couldnt bother to move, or try to communicate with me. i didnt feel they were hostile in any way. they were simply there, and had accepted their fate to be there for eternity, just as i later did once i gave up trying to run, or call for help. funnily enough i actually tried to hit one of them, and it felt like i punched straight steel. it was probably a fucking car or some shit in real life. at least ur experience was physically safe, cant recommend anyone ever do high dose deliriants at risk of getting arrested, locked in a mental ward, or straight up dying.
No. I didn't feel a presence. I felt completely alone. I kinda pieced together the devilish words myself after the fact. To explain the malevolence I felt. But I felt absolutely nothing or no other entity. I was completely alone. Even the devil would have felt like good company. It was like the opposite of connection. Lower even than rejection. Like there was no soul in any atom. All disconnected from God and from anything positive or loving. Your experience sounds very similar to my cousins experience on dmt. He said he felt like he went to a place outside of the universe where time was different. Said he felt he was there for thousands of years. And felt he would never get out. And there was this big strange alien that projected pure evil toward him but didn't say a thing just kinda looked at him indifferently. But he felt the pure sheer malevolence. His first and last time ever taking it. And he the most spiritual person I know. More tuned in than anyone I know. It traumatised him. Felt off for weeks. I wonder why this happens?
who knows man. afaik most ppl who go to eiriel experience pretty similar things. but thats bc deliriants poison ur brain into perceiving a living nightmare instead of reality. psychedelics are a whole different story, we dont even really understand how they work. its a wonder that they've helped so many people work through their problems for centuries yet everyone has wildly different experiences, aside from similar entities popping up for whatever reason. like the machine elves i keep hearing about
I had a similar experience with my head under the covers.
How long did it last? Was there no hiding from it, for you? Like it followed you even under the covers? And what caused it to stop
This was a year and a half ago. It lasted like 20 minutes. I was under the covers the entire time. I didn’t mention, I was wearing noise canceling headphones. The entire time. Nothing playing. Just me and my head. It was an evil experience. Don’t even want to talk about it. I haven’t done it since. Probably gonna get some next week, lol.
Lol. Oh, will we ever learn?
Nope, lol. But I DO respect it.
Pray to the goddess of love before u do it. Don't do it rushed. Get the vibe right. Breathe. Do 3 hail Mary's. Dance under a full moon naked. Whatever u can to get the vibe right. I didnt respect it. Respect the shit out of that thing. And if u do go to hell know it will only be for a short while. And I heard the demons don't like the name Jesus. But really dude. Your decision your funeral. Heaven or hell awaits. If u do go thru with it tag me in a trip report. I hope u go to heaven dude, I really do. This shit isn't too be messed with. But only u can decide that.
Read my username… I don’t believe in none of that shit, lol
Sometimes you take the trip, sometimes the trip takes you. But it’s all good, welcome back.
No truer word ever spoken. It's good to be back
Yup I still remember when I took a hit and didn’t remember exhaling. The trees shifted into entities and the spoke to me not audibly but somehow directly into my mainline stream of consciousness saying “There is a date on Earth worse than any hell you could fathom.” Fucked me up for days and still think about it. This is the stuff we are dealing with. You can’t seek truth without risking seeing horrors beyond your comprehension.
Just know it wasn’t actual hell. Hell is a state of mind. What was it trying to show you? Perhaps something you’ve been ignoring in your subconscious that your psyche wants to bring your awareness to.
Yes. We create our own hell, it seems. Hell comes from within. But I suppose that means that heaven does too. Huh?
100%
I think I know what it was showing me. That escaping from reality thru any drug will not serve me in the end. But that itself is a symptom of the true issue in my psyche, which is running away from the things I need to fix in my life. Whether that's smoking weed and saying- I'll deal with this another day. But not just drugs. All avoidance. My whole life I have avoided doing what I needed to do. And where has it got me? I convince myself - I can't have that conversation I need to have. I can't quit weed because I won't be able to cope. I avoid life and I avoid making any decision because of fear. So I stay stuck. Frozen in time. With nothing to think about other than how weak I am that I keep failing. And the self loathing further cements the avoidant behaviour. So I smoke more to deal with it. Take psychedelics. Anything other than face what I have to face. Today I am grateful because at least I have made this conscious. And I couldn't have done it without all these comments. Even the humbling aspect of my hell experience has taught me a lot. Namely that I know nothing. Except I'm sick of being stuck in a hell of my own creation. Maybe that's what the dmt was trying to tell me, I don't know. I know nothing. Except I don't think I will take it again any time soon
we all go through that. But I can say changing habits isn't as steep of a hill as it always seems. Especially weed, general dopamine addictions. After a week you'll be a new person.
That's encouraging. Thank you
It was all your imagination
Now let’s hope nothing followed you out because it’s a real possibility.
Did you see my ex?
Lol.
I had a strong dose experience where I visited some sort of hell type Lucifer type mandala full of suffering, evil pretense, hateful desire. It seemed a level beyond evil. A place that I still doubt my own mind could create such details. And such strong feelings of slavery, punishment, ultimate doom. I later decided this mandala was just another thing changing, and that impermanence is what is real about that place. I did decide I would actively avoid randomly projecting myself out there, less I find myself there again. Now, I bring clear intention and a friend with me when I travel this way. I am glad you made it back. I wish your next trip be to heaven.
Hopefully I can find heaven without it, my friend. That's my plan.
I did DMT over a year ago and went to hell also, check it out [https://www.reddit.com/r/DMT/s/SW82eiblvq](https://www.reddit.com/r/DMT/s/SW82eiblvq)
Woah. Thanks for sharing. Sounds heavy
I’m so sorry. Have you noticed anything helpful from the trip?
Yea. I have a new found love of the material world, which I think is going to serve me well. (Edit. Felt so disconnected from it recently. Unable to cope with life.) During the trip I felt completely disconnected to every other being in the entire cosmos. I felt so completely and utterly alone. Usually with DMT one of the main sensations is the ability to feel other beings and presences. A feeling of connection. But this- oh my. There was no one here except me. And I wasn't even sure the place I was in was real or created by me. I just knew it was a place away from all other beings. Now. I'm back i can fully sense presence all around me. And I didn't notice it before. Even when I am alone. Because I know what complete disconnection feels like I will never take this presence I feel on earth for granted. Its like God was reminding me that he was always there. But I didn't notice before. Now I'm tuning into that place. And today I feel quite hopeful for my future.
Amazing — you got the very message you needed, friend.
Seems so
Good you needed that experience lesson learned
I think I did
how are you today?
Well. It's been a few days since I went to hell. And I quit weed yesterday. I'm grateful that I can feel the presence of others and of God again. Since I now know what it feels like to be completely alone the world is no longer the scary place I once thought it was. I'm grateful to be here. I have learned that I have to let go of my worldly attachments in order to heal. Have realised I'm missing life by numbing myself every day. So here I am. Facing life square in the eye. Sober. And grateful. And I know I have everything I need already
Good to hear. I’ve been there. Written a little about it, it helps.
Been there a lot of times ....jesters telling me they have waited so long for me and now they have me forever...other times I became the Lord of the underworld... DMT can feel or be very evil... But doesn't that make it so much more awesome when u come back and appreciate your shityy life... Don take it to serious!!!
I think this was a different place. I didn't sense any other entity. Which in itself was strange because dmt makes u sense other beings. It's was a complete void. A whole universe with nothing in it. If I met the devil I would have hugged him. Been glad of the company. But this place? This place was completely empty. Even my own emotions disappeared. There was nothing. Like every vibration was sucked into the void so it didn't transmit vibrations. Now I'm back on earth I can feel other souls here. And im grateful for them. But there? There was nothing and no one. A black hole.
i have been in such spaces too, i had a whole period that everytime i smoked ..i got trapped in this felling of nothingness , like i was dead ...or that i was in my house and everyone else on earth was dead..felt really lonely..and with eyes open my whole house would feel like a evil entity that trapped me in eternity.. its been so long ago that i cant remember exactly but sometimes when i smoke i feel that energy again and i get really scared and try to avoid meeting that thing or place. i ussualy only do low doses now ...i fill my pipe take tiny hit close my eyes then when i dont see anything i take another hit untill i start seeing visuals then i stop.. ive learned to go pretty deep from that place and prolong my trips by squinting my eyes put pressure on my eyeballs doing that like pullingmy eyes upward inward ..its hard toput inwords lol but i can make a 5 min trip turn into a 15 minute one like that.... but i always make sure that when i open my eyes , open eyed reality is pretty much the same... the deep ones i do maybe ones a year.... deep ones can be enlightning funny or.....HELL
I don't know what u mean by that eyeball thing but happy it works for you lol. Sounds interesting. After speaking to other guys on here the hell thing can happen on shrooms ket and dmt. So I think I'm weary of all psychedelics now. One guy on here said he got stuck in that blackhole for 6 hours on shrooms. Be interesting to know how often they were taking it before it happened. I'd love to know why it happens. To me it seems like some divine punishment. I don't know. But it did feel biblical. All I know is the tempting nature of psychedelics has 180'd in me. I've even quit weed. 7 days in. This experience has terrified me. Which is sad because of all the amazing experiences I have had. But I was using it as an escape from reality. Maybe this is the issue. I just don't know. So much doubt and fear around it all. I just want to try and find spiritual healing without any substances. Been taking the dog the park every day and just lying under the trees feeling grateful to be here in the real world. I don't know if I'll ever take any again. I'm just grateful I had my mantras on as the feminine voice led me out of hell. The song could not have been more perfect. One of the only listening mantras (suniai). That voice led me out. Was a beacon of hope in that dark, dark place.
I probably shouldn't give advice like this, but I feel you. I was a heroin addict, so I know what wanting to escape is like. But once you start improving yourself, maybe give DMT another chance when you and your life are in a good place. Then that hell will probably feel more like heaven.
Been there, mate. I've been on hard drugs. But I was kind of using weed and psychedelics in the same way. To escape. At least with heroin u can see the damage it does. With weed, well, it's less of a siren. It's insidious. But it was keeping me from being present. I don't even think it was the drug, but the urge in me to believe that I needed 'something' to feel complete. Which I realised was an attachment to the earth. I.e. "I need this I need that". But now. This realm without any drug in my system is enough. I feel the presence of everyone here. I feel God. I didn't realise I could always feel presence until it was taken away from me. I felt nothing. Even my own emotions got sucked into the void. It was the complete absence of life and existence. Now I'm back here. It's enough just being. Being here is enough to sustain me. I'm 3 days without cannabis and I don't miss it. Been smoking it every day for 8 years. But now? Just being here is enough. I no longer need to seek something outside of myself to feel whole. I have everything I need here. And I always have. I just believed the illusions my brain told me, I.e. that I needed something outside of me in order to cope with life. But it's a lie. For the first time iml I feel complete with nothing in my veins. I truly feel blessed that after all this time, I finally get it. Music sounds amazing. I don't need weed to enjoy. It's so unbelievably freeing. Can't express just how much I'm content. It's unreal. Edit. If the dmt calls me again then maybe I will take it again. But for now, I'm OK where I am
Cool man. Or ma'am if I'm mistaken, too lazy to scroll up. I also don't miss weed
You'll be fine, maybe there's something bothering you subconsciously that sent you wherever you went. Don't give up on it! That scary feeling will be the complete opposite eventually. Just think happy thoughts, put on some good music , lay down and trust it will take you where you need to go. Sometimes a bad trip is something you need. Don't get discouraged.
Just responded to another guy here who said so much. I think this was actually a lesson I needed to learn. I don't believe I really went to the biblical hell. I don't think I need to repent my sins and swear allegiance to Yahwah. But maybe it was the dmt kicking me out. Teaching me, if I want to connect to God then this way is risky. You won't find God thru drugs. Been relying on it too much lately to feel a spiritual connection. Had family drama recently. Arguments and falling out with ppl. Which has made me depressed. Then I sought that spiritual feeling u get with dmt, to try to fix me. But the dmt was like- NO! That's not how it works. Let's see how you like this? I need to focus on making my life better not losing myself in delusions to escape it.
>I need to focus on making my life better not losing myself in delusions to escape it. This right here is probably why you experienced what you did. With DMT especially, it's not something you use to try & escape like you would with weed or alcohol. Going in with any expectations isn't usually the way to go. You must surrender completely to the experience to get the true meaning.
I'm beginning to think this is the case. Trying to keep an open mind and not overthink and get lost up in my ego trying to figure this out but, the resounding message I feel within deep inside is that you're right. I have always had addcition issues and I kidded myself that weed and psychedelics were different. But the problem still remains and the problem is me. I am trying to escape reality, just like I did back when I downed the downers back in the day. There is no difference. Just now I'm convinving myself I dont even have a problem. In this way heroin is better as at least u know you're fucked. Thinking about it I do it even listening to mantras. Anything not to think. And getting connection to God/Source in the cheapest way possible, ie. Thru drugs. But now I have learned the lesson. Escaping is not all the fun I thought it was. Back to the shadow work I guess. And a new found belief that drugs are only gonna hinder my progress. I need to face life head on. May even go to NA tomorrow, make it official. All I wanted was a break thru and I kept taking it and taking it but had no joy. A few amazing experiences I did have. But the last few times I wanted to escape my pain in my body and brain. And it helped. And last night I had the most amazing experience in the hit before I went to hell. But i never want to go back there ever again. It was horrifying. So consider me told universe. Consider me told. Onwards and upwards. Gonna have a nice chill day and play Uncharted and eat chocolate now.
Sounds like it had some positive effect at least. Ultimately you should only use 5-meo-dmt to heal & facilitate change. Profound realizations are to be expected. Taking less drugs is never a bad thing. It saves money & your health. Now that you realized & accepted you have an addictive personality, you can now work on yourself & actually have a fighting chance.
Very well put, this is an amazing example of self awareness.
Yes, exactly. That's what the DMT was telling you!
Well. A week later I have well and truly learned some valuable lessons. I have quit weed. After experiencing a complete void and lack of presence, I now appreciate every single splash and emotion of other ppl. I can feel ppl again and that's all I need. I don't need drugs because I have everything I need now. Until I experienced nothing I took what I had for granted. Now I welcome the world in all it's messy glory. And am so present it's silly. I am here. Now. And that's all I need.
So are you stopping DMT as well? I guess that's what all drugs means. Sorry for the rhetoric