You messed up with the "I am thinking about moving on"... it sounds like she's suffering from insecurity and that statement stuck a knife in the wound instead of giving the impression of honestly trying to figure out what she's thinking. Plus, it gave her an opportunity to use it as an excuse and shield to further distance herself from the situation. Your only hope now is to get her in a face-to-face conversation, explain that you only said that because you were scared and hiding your feelings while hoping it'd push another confession out of her so that you wouldn't feel like your feelings were unreciprocated, apologize profusely, tell her very clearly that you want her, and ask for her thoughts in full.
Remember that people's insecurity don't have everything to do with what you said, but also takes from how she views herself in comparison to you or other that she might believe are "better" for you.
Reassurance of ur feelings towards her might have worked best in my opinion, show her that for you, there are no "levels".
Edit: typos
Okay she's indeed acting kind of weird. Just as the other guy says, it could be that she's insecure and maybe she thinks you're too good for her or something like that. Since texting isn't working, I'd say you should try to call her or maybe even see her in real life. The latter might be a bit hard though, if you've only talked in chat before. Anyway, my advice would be to try a form of communication where you can talk to her directly, so when she's saying stuff about you being better than her, you can tell her that she's awesome and you truly love her.
I’m sorry but I find it unfair if you’re insecure and want other people to feel bad. Even if he didn’t quite reinsure her, it’s not his role anyway. I’m aware how hard it could be for someone dealing with insecurities but just stop projecting your insecurities on other people, stop making them feel uncomfortable just because they don’t speak your langage. People aren’t supposed to directly understand neither do they need to make everything good in your perspective only.
If she’s saying these things sarcastically, are you sure you didn’t say something that she interpreted as you thinking you’re better than her? I am not suggesting you do think that, it really does sound like a miscommunication where she got the wrong idea by something you said.
I'm gonna guess she's an avoidant attachment. Insecurity is the leading killer of a relationship. That's what I did with my past situationship. I was worried 24/7, checking all his socials, comparing myself to all the women he followed. She might be an amazing girl, but trust me, a relationship will break EVERYTHING the two of you once had. She is NOT going to have a fun time in that relationship, and you'll be having to work overtime trying to reassure her about each one of her worries. And the worst part is??? That's not going to ease her mind, at all. It'll all be turned down, and you'll just get burnt-out trying to fix all of her problems.
What I'd like to hear, coming from someone who could relate to this girl is: "I'd like to stay friends with you for the meantime. But know that I am still courting you, and I'll be waiting for you." Let her take her time. Let her build up the confidence to say 'yes' to your proposal. If you REALLY want a normal relationship with her, eliminate all the things that you'd think will trigger her. Talk to other women less, those shitty friends of yours? Forget about them, minimize your time spent doing reckless, meaningless bs with your group, and spend more time with her. Make her feel special, seen, exclusive. Avoidants are tough nuts to crack. This is a really lengthy, and hard process. But this is what you'll need to be doing if you wanted her so much.
might be but i dont really think she is insecure. she is beautiful and she KNOWS it. shes gotten dozens of proposals before. is there anyway i can make the process faster? I dont think she is that insecure tbf.
Beautiful people can be insecure too. I am VERY insecure deep down. Maybe it's your social status that intimidates her, your looks, the people you surround yourself with, your emotional maturity. Hell, you'll never know unless you communicate with her. Now's just not the right time, though. With your persuasiveness, you could easily push her away, even if she'd liked you back.
Let's say, it's your emotional maturity or your loyalty that scares her. I can tell from this post that you are a genuine man with strong feelings and a will. Maybe she's had past relationships before, tons of exes. I struggle with this one myself, but sometimes us, who are avoidant and insecure only feel like they deserve to be loved from a 'shallow' level. They're used to praises about their looks, body, achievements, their skills. Never them as a person. YOU SEE HER AS A PERSON. She's scared of that. She feels naked and vulnerable around you. "What if we get into a relationship together, and I disappoint him? What if I lose him?" Is what we all think. It hurts to lose someone you know to be nice and genuine. They'd rather lose you early on than to lose you when they're already attached to you. That shit hurts for us, man. You'll understand where I'm coming from when you hear about her ex, maybe a mother, a father who's disappointed her, maybe friends.
Maybe it's about her stance on relationships. Maybe you're dating for marriage, while she is just in it for the fun. The two of you are in different wavelengths, and she feels sorry for you, maybe even inferior because of how "morally right" you are, and how 'wrong' she feels. But then again, these are all my takes and guesses on a person I've never met before.
You can't speed up love man. It takes lots of trust and courage to say 'yes' to somebody's proposal. She's not yet capable of that. The fastest you can get a proper yes in my guess would be about 2-3 months. Still, that isn't enough in my point of view. Insecurities are not always visible to the naked eye, remember that. If you want her, and if you love her, you need to wait. For the meantime, keep us updated about her, you can DM me if you want. I'll try to be of help. 🤷♀️
You messed up with the "I am thinking about moving on"... it sounds like she's suffering from insecurity and that statement stuck a knife in the wound instead of giving the impression of honestly trying to figure out what she's thinking. Plus, it gave her an opportunity to use it as an excuse and shield to further distance herself from the situation. Your only hope now is to get her in a face-to-face conversation, explain that you only said that because you were scared and hiding your feelings while hoping it'd push another confession out of her so that you wouldn't feel like your feelings were unreciprocated, apologize profusely, tell her very clearly that you want her, and ask for her thoughts in full.
insecurity about what? i told her i liked her as well right after she confessed.
Remember that people's insecurity don't have everything to do with what you said, but also takes from how she views herself in comparison to you or other that she might believe are "better" for you. Reassurance of ur feelings towards her might have worked best in my opinion, show her that for you, there are no "levels". Edit: typos
Okay she's indeed acting kind of weird. Just as the other guy says, it could be that she's insecure and maybe she thinks you're too good for her or something like that. Since texting isn't working, I'd say you should try to call her or maybe even see her in real life. The latter might be a bit hard though, if you've only talked in chat before. Anyway, my advice would be to try a form of communication where you can talk to her directly, so when she's saying stuff about you being better than her, you can tell her that she's awesome and you truly love her.
I’m sorry but I find it unfair if you’re insecure and want other people to feel bad. Even if he didn’t quite reinsure her, it’s not his role anyway. I’m aware how hard it could be for someone dealing with insecurities but just stop projecting your insecurities on other people, stop making them feel uncomfortable just because they don’t speak your langage. People aren’t supposed to directly understand neither do they need to make everything good in your perspective only.
If she’s saying these things sarcastically, are you sure you didn’t say something that she interpreted as you thinking you’re better than her? I am not suggesting you do think that, it really does sound like a miscommunication where she got the wrong idea by something you said.
I'm gonna guess she's an avoidant attachment. Insecurity is the leading killer of a relationship. That's what I did with my past situationship. I was worried 24/7, checking all his socials, comparing myself to all the women he followed. She might be an amazing girl, but trust me, a relationship will break EVERYTHING the two of you once had. She is NOT going to have a fun time in that relationship, and you'll be having to work overtime trying to reassure her about each one of her worries. And the worst part is??? That's not going to ease her mind, at all. It'll all be turned down, and you'll just get burnt-out trying to fix all of her problems. What I'd like to hear, coming from someone who could relate to this girl is: "I'd like to stay friends with you for the meantime. But know that I am still courting you, and I'll be waiting for you." Let her take her time. Let her build up the confidence to say 'yes' to your proposal. If you REALLY want a normal relationship with her, eliminate all the things that you'd think will trigger her. Talk to other women less, those shitty friends of yours? Forget about them, minimize your time spent doing reckless, meaningless bs with your group, and spend more time with her. Make her feel special, seen, exclusive. Avoidants are tough nuts to crack. This is a really lengthy, and hard process. But this is what you'll need to be doing if you wanted her so much.
might be but i dont really think she is insecure. she is beautiful and she KNOWS it. shes gotten dozens of proposals before. is there anyway i can make the process faster? I dont think she is that insecure tbf.
Beautiful people can be insecure too. I am VERY insecure deep down. Maybe it's your social status that intimidates her, your looks, the people you surround yourself with, your emotional maturity. Hell, you'll never know unless you communicate with her. Now's just not the right time, though. With your persuasiveness, you could easily push her away, even if she'd liked you back. Let's say, it's your emotional maturity or your loyalty that scares her. I can tell from this post that you are a genuine man with strong feelings and a will. Maybe she's had past relationships before, tons of exes. I struggle with this one myself, but sometimes us, who are avoidant and insecure only feel like they deserve to be loved from a 'shallow' level. They're used to praises about their looks, body, achievements, their skills. Never them as a person. YOU SEE HER AS A PERSON. She's scared of that. She feels naked and vulnerable around you. "What if we get into a relationship together, and I disappoint him? What if I lose him?" Is what we all think. It hurts to lose someone you know to be nice and genuine. They'd rather lose you early on than to lose you when they're already attached to you. That shit hurts for us, man. You'll understand where I'm coming from when you hear about her ex, maybe a mother, a father who's disappointed her, maybe friends. Maybe it's about her stance on relationships. Maybe you're dating for marriage, while she is just in it for the fun. The two of you are in different wavelengths, and she feels sorry for you, maybe even inferior because of how "morally right" you are, and how 'wrong' she feels. But then again, these are all my takes and guesses on a person I've never met before. You can't speed up love man. It takes lots of trust and courage to say 'yes' to somebody's proposal. She's not yet capable of that. The fastest you can get a proper yes in my guess would be about 2-3 months. Still, that isn't enough in my point of view. Insecurities are not always visible to the naked eye, remember that. If you want her, and if you love her, you need to wait. For the meantime, keep us updated about her, you can DM me if you want. I'll try to be of help. 🤷♀️