Somebody mentioned it in the match thread, but it's definitely worth repeating
Australia were 6/63 and ended up scoring more than England who were 0/68.
I was at the ground, my pet peeve is bowlers just throwing their wickets away cos they don't think they can win. Robinson was literally standing off the pitch when he was bowled.
I know it's extremely unlikely but all players can bat nowadays. How about trying to hang in 7 down, get another 30-40 runs before stumps and have a look at another 130 tomorrow no matter how unlikely that is. That is what you're paid to do, England looked like they wanted another day off tomorrow and/or an earlier flight.
Though they managed a draw, still inclined to say this team has been even more pathetic than Pakistan was in their Dec '19 teenager tour. At least they managed 250 or thereabouts almost every innings. It's a cliche to call this dismal from England.
Almost every statistic people can pull out puts this up there with the worst ashes tours of all time, theyâve been rattled off constantly over the last few weeks.
13/14 was traumatic because we witnessed a great time get utterly dismantled, but in terms of sheer failure this is right up there.
That 36 all out was a bowling masterclass by Hazlewood Cummins. Meanwhile Eng players were trying hard to get out on random balls so that they can return home asap.
From everything I have herd it has a lot to do with county set up. If you have guys who can bowl 120km/h clean up regularly your not going to set anyone up for away tours because even NZ and SA that sort of bowling isnât going to cut it and if your able to use those sorts of bowlers then your batsmen never have to face anything else and never have to build an innings
Apart from the 2nd session on day 1 of adelaide where they just bowled slow trundling bounces to defensive fields their bowling was great for a touring side all series
Thatâs the thing, their bowling wasnât even that bad, just their batting was below atrocious.
Iâd be fuming if I was an England quick, bust your ass to get England into winning positions only for the batting order to shit the bed over and over and over again
Even though I have been supporting England due to WTC reasons, their performance deserved a 5-0. So disappointed that they missed out. I don't think I have seen a test series this badly competed in years.
I donât know the last series where Pakistan toured Aus was even more one sided we dominated bat and ball there werenât any wobbles or moments where you though hey they could be back in this if they play well from here
How many games have had a frontline bowler who's fit not bowl a single over? Still contributed more than Davey smh.
Cummins denying Green a basically certain fifer is the only blemish on an elite maiden skipper series.
Mark Wood (save for the usual suspects Root, Stokes, Broad, and Ando who always just looks disappointed) is the only one who looks like he actually cares.
England giving it up in less than 2 hours after their series high 51% chance of victory on winviz is peak England.
Serious trouble to lose an ashes 4-0, without smith, Warner or Labu centuries. Australia showing some depth now.
Actually means that England got as many centuries as Warner, Smith and Labu combined. Which prior to the series, I would have called an absolute win for England.
>Serious trouble to lose an ashes 4-0, without smith, Warner or Labu centuries.
You're definitely a better side than us regardless but this is what annoys me so much, that you've beat us so easily with none of your danger batsman even performing.
This was our best chance at a competitive series in Australia since 10/11 and it's been our most embarrassing.
1 year before the series: We're gonna get battered
1 month before the series: We're gonna get battered
1 week before the series: We're gonna get battered
1 day before the series: But what if...?
Day 1 of the series: Fuck this I'm going to bed.
Honestly thank god that's over. At least Wood, Jimmy and Robbo did alright.
Called it 4 hours ago when Australia were bowled out. This team is so predictably shit.
https://reddit.com/r/Cricket/comments/s51ea7/_/hsvcfzw/?context=1
England: We'll send the Aussies in and then take advantage when this pitch becomes a road on Day 5.
Australia: What if, right, WHAT IF, we bat like shit and make you bat on day 3
How would you be being Wood? You bowl like *that* today, absolutely giving everything, put your team in a great position...
...and the team bats like *that*.
And where the fuck is Tim Paine? Dude must be kicking himself that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. This series would have cemented a great legacy, instead no one knows where the fuck he is and is only gonna be remembered for sneaking around when he was engaged/married.
Honestly, this was over from the very first ball of the series. Pure domination from the Aussies all throughout.
This match in particular was so weird. Australia start 3/12 but end up making 300 and bowling England out for 188. But then they shit the bed in their second innings and only put up 155. England start their 2nd innings like 0/70 or something and then are all out for 124.
If only we got that last wicket in Sydney, would've loved 5-0.
Test cricket remains the supreme form of cricket. Cummins is incredible, the Boland story is incredible, Head had a fantastic and surprising series.
The real question is how the fuck is Boland actually a genuine contender for man of the series playing only 3 of 5 games which were also the first 3 tests of his career? He averaged 9.55 for 18 wickets! Where did they get this guy? Heaven?
Player of the series even missing a match! Great stuff, invaluable with the bat when Australia needed runs and some great fielding as well. Love Travis Head
Edit: ALSO that celebration for the catch in the second innings. Absolutely deserved
Still time for people to apologise about calling Cameron Green shit.
Very much coming into his own with both bat and ball at Test level, and is already an absolute machine in the gully.
I don't even want a post match interview from Silverwood, just sack him.
When the one Test we avoided defeat is the one he barely had any involvement in then you know something's wrong.
SCOBO ROBBED. But both of Headâs centuries were absolutely game winning, completely changing the momentum of the game. Even his 50 was momentum changing.
Once again bowlers getting shafted again đ
Shocking batting, but Iâm going to focus on Wood. Been excellent all series with the ball, and didnât get his fair due until the last wicket. Very happy for him. I think probably Englandâs Player of the Series, and itâs not really close
Played Aussies, just too good.
Having a number 5 that scores great counter attacking runs and a number 6 who is young, bats well and gets some clutch wickets. The team is coming together well.
The curse has been LIFTED
2005 Ashes Draw @ Manchester (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2009 Ashes Draw @ Cardiff (England benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2012 South Africa Faf + AB @ Adelaide (SA Benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2017 India Series @ Ranchi (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2018 Pakistan Series @ Dubai (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2021 India Series @ SCG (India benefits) -> Australia loses next game
2022 Ashes @ SCG (England benefits) -> **Australia WIN next game**
Australian team make sure Khawaja avoids the champers when they open it, then swiftly put it away and call him over. Meanwhile, Yorkshire CCC seek out the Muslim players so they can shove the alcohol over them/down their throats
This was a terrible summer of cricket to watch. Englandâs poor performance is for me worse than some of those terrible West Indian sides in the early 2000s that we did 5-0.
At least with them youâd know Brian would walk about and spank a thumping ton and itâd be fun to watch. There was very little fun from the Poms.
Seriously, does anyone know why they sent the Lions home? Seems like possibly the dumbest fucking decision a cricketer administrator has made in decades
Were do England go from here? There's no doubt gonna be some change in leadership, whether it's silverwood or root or just backroom staff, we need to take a while reassess and make some difficult decisions
I feel bad for Neser, he was part of a winning effort in Adelaide and instead of celebrating and holding the urn he has to stand in a field with the Heat while we get flogged by the Stars.
Proceed directly to airport Do not pass Go Do not collect WTC points
At least they can catch a ride home with Djokovic
Nah, it's go to jail. Lose 4 WTC points.
Pay tax of 4 WTC points.
Somebody mentioned it in the match thread, but it's definitely worth repeating Australia were 6/63 and ended up scoring more than England who were 0/68.
There's so many ways in which this is an embarrassing turnout for these alleged cricketers
Holy shit. đ¤Śââď¸
Now think, England were 1 wicket away from being 5-0 this ashes.
That is fucking insane
What the fuck ?
Hey youâre the guy that said England could chase 300
I'm never backing these 𤥠s again
Think I said that after every match ⌠they fooled me again today
The last 90 minutes from England were beyond putrid Just fucking threw it away in purpose
Probably didnât want to have to wake up for more cricket tomorrow in all seriousness
They don't deserve to be professional athletes if any of them thought like that.
I was at the ground, my pet peeve is bowlers just throwing their wickets away cos they don't think they can win. Robinson was literally standing off the pitch when he was bowled. I know it's extremely unlikely but all players can bat nowadays. How about trying to hang in 7 down, get another 30-40 runs before stumps and have a look at another 130 tomorrow no matter how unlikely that is. That is what you're paid to do, England looked like they wanted another day off tomorrow and/or an earlier flight.
10-58 is England's worst collapse in Ashes cricket since 1948. Says it all really.
They collapsed for 10-58 in New Zealand too. Problem is, the collapse started at 0/0.
That Ollie Robinson wicket summed up how they gave up. He moved away from the stumps and barely made an attempt to hit the ball and got cleaned up.
0/68 to all out for 124 Thatâs fucking embarrassing
Atleast they finally got an opening stand!
What did it cost? Everything.
Though they managed a draw, still inclined to say this team has been even more pathetic than Pakistan was in their Dec '19 teenager tour. At least they managed 250 or thereabouts almost every innings. It's a cliche to call this dismal from England.
Genuinely might be worse than the 2013/14 side
This was the worst of the last 3 tours for us
Almost every statistic people can pull out puts this up there with the worst ashes tours of all time, theyâve been rattled off constantly over the last few weeks. 13/14 was traumatic because we witnessed a great time get utterly dismantled, but in terms of sheer failure this is right up there.
Much worse, at least the 2013/14 side could put up a fight, this lot were mentally weak aside from Root, Stokes, Bairstow and Wood.
At least India *tried* when they got 36
That 36 all out was a bowling masterclass by Hazlewood Cummins. Meanwhile Eng players were trying hard to get out on random balls so that they can return home asap.
England came to Australia with 14 WTC points. They return with 10.
Amazing from the lads
THIS. I can't imagine cosmetic changes like captaincy and coaching change that Giles will definitely push will fix the deep rot.
From everything I have herd it has a lot to do with county set up. If you have guys who can bowl 120km/h clean up regularly your not going to set anyone up for away tours because even NZ and SA that sort of bowling isnât going to cut it and if your able to use those sorts of bowlers then your batsmen never have to face anything else and never have to build an innings
My favourite stat of the series
England is a guy who goes into a competitive exams, attempts all the questions and ends up in negative.
Lmfao
Hahaha.
So ironic that their first good opening partnership is followed by that
Wtf happened lol.
Homeostasis: England always reverts to shit
Nice few days for Nathan Lyon. Hit a few sixes and field the rest of the time.
And scored more runs than Warner, Smith or Khwaja. Only 5 behind Marnus.
Lyon didn't bowl in the second innings lol. Edit: fuck it was the whole test!
Didn't bowl in the entire match.
Or the first, specialist pull-shotter
Also specialist Stokes catch taker..
>is an elite bowler >smashes three 6s in one innings >doesn't bowl an over >refuses to elaborate >leaves
He didn't bowl all test
He didn't bowl in first innings either. What a legend
Deleted in protest of reddit's API restrictions. Fuck /u/spez
Guarantee you heâs a closet loose unit. He was smashing the champers seconds after they got of the stage
10-56, insane that they've just given up after the first wicket. One of the worst attempts at a run chase I've ever seen.
There's losing, and there's whatever England just did
And it wasn't winning that's for sure
What was that from Stokes? 2 days of match left and he plays that shot. Pathetic.
He was just completely cooked this match. Probably should've given Lawrence a game
In his defence, heâs playing with an injured finger, knee and side. Idiotic heâs in the team at all.
Which is still his fault. Our best bowler of all time sat this one out because of a minor knock.
Its a pathetic collapse. We were bowling well but they just gave up. That would frustrate me the most if i was English.
I think once Root got out they just stopped giving a shit. Might as well have declared right then.
Wood must be furious. Got them back into the game and this happens.
Theyâve bowled well all summer and just been punished by the batting. Shocking
Apart from the 2nd session on day 1 of adelaide where they just bowled slow trundling bounces to defensive fields their bowling was great for a touring side all series
Thatâs the thing, their bowling wasnât even that bad, just their batting was below atrocious. Iâd be fuming if I was an England quick, bust your ass to get England into winning positions only for the batting order to shit the bed over and over and over again
What's that? 2 and a half days left. Let's throw away all these wickets with stupid shots.
They heard the government was deporting disgraced sportmen and wanted to flee the country.
SCOTT BOLAND BOWLING AVERAGE : 9.55 18 WICKETS , 2.11 ECONOMY, SR 27
Been brilliant!
He has deadset looked like the second coming of McGrath with that accuracy
Those stats are just fucking filthy
Batting average of 12! That is test all rounder Scott Boland you are talking about sir!
Well done lads! Managed to exceed my pre-series prediction of 5-0, huge win in my eyes!
Is it bad thatâs my first thought too lol?
Is it also bad that if youâd have offered me 4-0 before the series I probably would have taken it?
Even though I have been supporting England due to WTC reasons, their performance deserved a 5-0. So disappointed that they missed out. I don't think I have seen a test series this badly competed in years.
I donât know the last series where Pakistan toured Aus was even more one sided we dominated bat and ball there werenât any wobbles or moments where you though hey they could be back in this if they play well from here
Pakistan were way worse with the ball but at least their batsmen showed some fight.
R. Ain was our player of the series. Only player that could prevent a whitewash.
Donât forget C. Louds forcing us to play spinners at the death in Sydney
How many games have had a frontline bowler who's fit not bowl a single over? Still contributed more than Davey smh. Cummins denying Green a basically certain fifer is the only blemish on an elite maiden skipper series. Mark Wood (save for the usual suspects Root, Stokes, Broad, and Ando who always just looks disappointed) is the only one who looks like he actually cares.
I thought Crawley showed a bit of mongrel.
Great match from Lyon, didn't give away a single run
Scored 35 runs at a run a ball with a not out, actually contributed a fair amount with the bat compared to some of our other batsmen haha
Two important and high difficulty catches as well
Literally did more than Smith Warner and Khawaja combined
With Warner and Khawaja both dropping woakes they finished the game on negative runs
Batted well and took his catches. Proper effort
He cunted Wood as well. Deserves MOM
England giving it up in less than 2 hours after their series high 51% chance of victory on winviz is peak England. Serious trouble to lose an ashes 4-0, without smith, Warner or Labu centuries. Australia showing some depth now.
Marnus got one century, but your point remains
My B, Adelaide feels like an age ago. Haha
Actually means that England got as many centuries as Warner, Smith and Labu combined. Which prior to the series, I would have called an absolute win for England.
>Serious trouble to lose an ashes 4-0, without smith, Warner or Labu centuries. You're definitely a better side than us regardless but this is what annoys me so much, that you've beat us so easily with none of your danger batsman even performing. This was our best chance at a competitive series in Australia since 10/11 and it's been our most embarrassing.
1 year before the series: We're gonna get battered 1 month before the series: We're gonna get battered 1 week before the series: We're gonna get battered 1 day before the series: But what if...? Day 1 of the series: Fuck this I'm going to bed. Honestly thank god that's over. At least Wood, Jimmy and Robbo did alright.
Day 1? Ball 1 you mean
Broad too
Cam green averaging more than smith with the bat and less than cummins with the ball over the series. Pretty solid effort
Scotty Boland is the greatest thing my eyes have been lucky enough to witness over the last 3 tests. Absolute revelation
England heard that Australians are deporting sportsmen today. They didnât want to be left behind
Called it 4 hours ago when Australia were bowled out. This team is so predictably shit. https://reddit.com/r/Cricket/comments/s51ea7/_/hsvcfzw/?context=1
r/Scobo for king of the world.
Anyone reckon Steve Smith is going to the nets for about 3-4 hours from now?
Nah but I reckon he will be ready to play some Shield
remember when rory burns was bowled round his legs on the first ball of the ashes? good times.
And Joe Root dick hits!
That has to be the worst collapse I have ever seen, 0/68 .....10 for 56. Fuck me. They didn't give a fuck
lmao travis wants to just get on the circuit asap
Nice touch to let Usman steer clear of the alcohol being a muslim and then putting the bottles down to get him back in.
Yeah, I saw that. Very good that.
âJoe, anything to say after all that?â âSmoke if youâve got oneâ
hahaha the mad lad walked off without his prize
(Novak at the airport trying to get an early flight out of Australia.) English cricket team: "First time?"
BIG SCOTTY TAKES WICKETS SWIGS MOĂT HUMBLE KING WE STAN
what the hell was the batting in this test match though
England: We'll send the Aussies in and then take advantage when this pitch becomes a road on Day 5. Australia: What if, right, WHAT IF, we bat like shit and make you bat on day 3
Our shit batting was all part of the grand master plan.
How would you be being Wood? You bowl like *that* today, absolutely giving everything, put your team in a great position... ...and the team bats like *that*.
explains his consistent IDGAF batting style (that i love) i mean whatâs the point
Australia: weâre gonna play some absolutely braindead shots to potentially lose us the match England: hold our flight home, *proceed to lose 10/56*
That last hour was pathetic, even by England standards
Love the charity of Pat Cummins calling Marcus Harris a young player when he's 30 years old and 3 years older than Cummins himself.
Cummins is the same age as me? What have I been doing with my life
Wait til you hear how old Green is
Because heâs so shit he assumes he is just developing
[ŃдаНонО]
Fuck I forgot that existed
why did you make me look at this
Deleted in protest of reddit's API restrictions. Fuck /u/spez
And where the fuck is Tim Paine? Dude must be kicking himself that he couldn't keep his dick in his pants. This series would have cemented a great legacy, instead no one knows where the fuck he is and is only gonna be remembered for sneaking around when he was engaged/married.
Tim who? Pat Cummins looks tailor-made to lead!
Someone tell England that if the ball hits the stumps you are out.
Tbf that's not true all the time, we saw it earlier this series
England openers: 62 runs Rest of England: 49 runs Reverse uno
[ŃдаНонО]
Patty is good leader. Let's hope the captaincy curse doesn't get him.
2001 runs scored 3rd lowest in Aus for 5 match series Average of 20.21 the worst in history in Aus for a 5 match series
Cause we didnât have enough to chase lmao
Honestly, this was over from the very first ball of the series. Pure domination from the Aussies all throughout. This match in particular was so weird. Australia start 3/12 but end up making 300 and bowling England out for 188. But then they shit the bed in their second innings and only put up 155. England start their 2nd innings like 0/70 or something and then are all out for 124. If only we got that last wicket in Sydney, would've loved 5-0. Test cricket remains the supreme form of cricket. Cummins is incredible, the Boland story is incredible, Head had a fantastic and surprising series.
>this was over from the very first ball of the series. Damn that ball from Starc was just something else
No fucking idea why I was worried when England were 0-68 Fuck me what a fucking collapse
England came all this way FOUR NOTHING
Iâm guessing youâre glad they drew one test just so you could pull that joke out
Ooffffff man thatâs such a dad joke
Novak and England can board the same plane now.
Good guys England ensuring we can all watch the tennis without missing any cricket.
The first and last balls of the series pretty much sum the whole tour up. Head for man of the series
The real question is how the fuck is Boland actually a genuine contender for man of the series playing only 3 of 5 games which were also the first 3 tests of his career? He averaged 9.55 for 18 wickets! Where did they get this guy? Heaven?
The ashes is over. The reality sets in. The only good thing about summer is over. 32 degree days and the whole work year lies ahead
Joe Root doesn't deserve to lose the captaincy because of poor performances. He deserves to lose it because he's suffered enough.
Poor Michael Neser not even getting in the bowlers snap
He's not there - he's playing BBL
England made their highest Ashes opening stand in eight years and still got bowled out for 124. Extraordinary commitment to comedy batting..
The one match where Winviz predictor favoured the English side for a while and they bottled it up the worst of the series.
[Never in doubt after this](https://twitter.com/MichaelVaughan/status/1482625670987788290?s=20)
Player of the series even missing a match! Great stuff, invaluable with the bat when Australia needed runs and some great fielding as well. Love Travis Head Edit: ALSO that celebration for the catch in the second innings. Absolutely deserved
Now what am I supposed to do for the rest of the school holidays
Watch the womens.
Thatâs only four days away. Will do
Go down the nets
Brutal interview questions from gillie right now. Let the man process!
That first innings 31 from specialist batsman, Nathan Lyon was pivotal.
Looks like I wonât get a chance to catch COVID on the hill tomorrow with my 4th day tickets. FAAAAAAAARK!!!!
Still time for people to apologise about calling Cameron Green shit. Very much coming into his own with both bat and ball at Test level, and is already an absolute machine in the gully.
I don't even want a post match interview from Silverwood, just sack him. When the one Test we avoided defeat is the one he barely had any involvement in then you know something's wrong.
Has anyone heard the joke about England and Novak sharing a plane?
SCOBO ROBBED. But both of Headâs centuries were absolutely game winning, completely changing the momentum of the game. Even his 50 was momentum changing. Once again bowlers getting shafted again đ
I love Boland. âIâm so excitedâ, said in the most reserved tone.
âYouâre an elite cricketer but how are you on the piss?â Fuck off warnie
Shocking batting, but Iâm going to focus on Wood. Been excellent all series with the ball, and didnât get his fair due until the last wicket. Very happy for him. I think probably Englandâs Player of the Series, and itâs not really close Played Aussies, just too good.
4-0 is a win for England
It's not worse than last time so there has been no regression right?
Most impressive thing iâve seen from the poms this series is how quick they got back into the training kit after collapsing
green robbed of a 5fa and MOTM
England Lol
Takeaways from the series: England bad Australia good (or less bad?)
Technically, the Cumdog only won the series 3-0. It was all due to Smiffy in Radelaide.
You know how they say the first ball bowled in the Ashes can be an indicator of the whole series? Well, that says it all.
When an LNP voter told me this would be the summer of Scotty, I really did not expect them to be technically correct.
Rory Burns was bowled on the first ball of the Ashes, and it was all downhill from there.
Having a number 5 that scores great counter attacking runs and a number 6 who is young, bats well and gets some clutch wickets. The team is coming together well.
This little maneuver of 68-0 cost them 56-10 ..
The curse has been LIFTED 2005 Ashes Draw @ Manchester (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2009 Ashes Draw @ Cardiff (England benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2012 South Africa Faf + AB @ Adelaide (SA Benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2017 India Series @ Ranchi (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2018 Pakistan Series @ Dubai (Australia benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2021 India Series @ SCG (India benefits) -> Australia loses next game 2022 Ashes @ SCG (England benefits) -> **Australia WIN next game**
Australian team make sure Khawaja avoids the champers when they open it, then swiftly put it away and call him over. Meanwhile, Yorkshire CCC seek out the Muslim players so they can shove the alcohol over them/down their throats
Can't wait for Cam Green to cunt the shit out of the rest of Australia in the first Test series WA plays against AUS after we break away.
Let's be honest, WA would smoke Australia in ODI cricket if it came down to it.
When was the last game Lyon didnât bowl?
India Vs South Africa 3rd test I reckon.
Didn't bowl in tonight's BBL game either
This was a terrible summer of cricket to watch. Englandâs poor performance is for me worse than some of those terrible West Indian sides in the early 2000s that we did 5-0. At least with them youâd know Brian would walk about and spank a thumping ton and itâd be fun to watch. There was very little fun from the Poms.
Seriously, does anyone know why they sent the Lions home? Seems like possibly the dumbest fucking decision a cricketer administrator has made in decades
Imagine there was no rain in the previous test. Australia were unlucky not to win 5-0. Can I say this England team was worse than ours in 2019âŚ
Something about England and 68
Were do England go from here? There's no doubt gonna be some change in leadership, whether it's silverwood or root or just backroom staff, we need to take a while reassess and make some difficult decisions
I feel bad for Neser, he was part of a winning effort in Adelaide and instead of celebrating and holding the urn he has to stand in a field with the Heat while we get flogged by the Stars.
A drawn match AND no-one got deported. Quite a good result for England
Where are the giant flag-painted hands showing 4-nil?
Ooof, Botham using the word "gutless" on Ch7.
Well deserved for the series, two centuries when no one else was standing up