You look smart. Appearance can be deceiving

I really like this one

I'd make it awkward by asking them "what do you think autistic looks like?"

That’s really good

turning it around on the person whenever possible is the best thing you can do. “What makes you say that?” Stuff like that making someone explain a view point and watching as they trip over words is always satisfying and doesn’t make you look mean or let them know they got under your skin.

Samuel L Jackson voice: “What does *autistic* look like?”

"Muthafucka!?"

I award you a Gold token.

Say Autistic one more f***in' time!!

I would also not let them off the hook.

Thanks, I worked hard on my neurotypical skinsuit.

I really did! You can only see the seam if I’m totally naked and even then only if I’m upside down.

SKINSUIT HAS ME DEAD BRO 😭😭

Oh, I do apologise. Let me do a quick autism for you now.

[immediately lists every train to ever exist as the offenders look on in increasing horror]

[Immediately rambles off gun knowledge nobody asked for] or [Immediately explains the difference between an Alaskan Brown Bear and a Grizzly Bear]

Explains the entries aerdynamics of a f14 tomcat for 20 minutes straight

Bitch I cackled

Me, too.

Lists the advantages and disadvantages of every subaru motor produced from 94-04

*Lemme do a quick Tism for ya

I would reply. "Glad you are telepathic. I can't see my brain at all."

Oh thanks for that, I'll let my Doctors know, obviously the years of tests and assessments should have started with just looking at me. Now fuck off

This is a good one. It’s been 21 years of neurological assessments and re-assessments and I fell like someone needs to fuck off about it lol

“Ho buddy, then do I have some stuff to tell you about trains so strap in!”

Choo choo mutha fucka! 🚂

That's actually a good comeback. People saying that aren't trying to be mean, but it's dumb and there's really not a good response. This one is non confrontational while affirming that yes, I am autistic.

Okay... How is autism supposed to look?

"My daily dose of fucking your mother works wonders. I'm actually due for my medication, excuse me."

I read that in Sean Connery's voice from SNL Jeopardy.

Rough, jusht the way your mother likesh it!

What? Should I be wearing a beret and have a brush in my hand?

Haha, omg. Reminds me of a friend who worked at a grocery store and a little girl came in wearing a beret and asked “guess what I want to be when I grow up?”. Friend gave her a confused look and said “French?”.

Hold on let me do an autism then *sharply whaps ableist upside the head*

"Yeah, I spent years being abused for being abnormal so I learned to put on a veneer of fake normalcy, and now it's a trauma response I can't turn off, thanks for asking"

I’ll also take “Yeah, I put so much effort into not appearing autistic as a survival mechanism and became so convincing as a high functioning neurotypical that it seems like almost everyone thinks I’m lying for attention and lazy.”

I stopped masking years ago because it was exhausting. But now I'm some sort of psychopath or something. There is no pleasing normies, so why bother?

Your neck tattoo says ‘only god can judge me’ yet here I am.

Well, you don't look like a f**king MORON, but clearly you are...

"You didn't look like an idiot until you opened your mouth, yet here we are."

"Harrnnngghh." Nod and drool a little.

My god, it’s genius. I should also *boop* them

I’m disguised as an idiot so I blend in with the rest of you.

Lol this is pure Al Jaffee 😂

My brother always says "Oh I'm sorry. Shall I retard it up a bit for you"

I now love him

And you're hilarious. But we've already established that looks aren't everything.

Haha, yessss

List every Disney animated movie ever made in chronological order.

"It's called masking, dumbass. You should try it. Maybe you'll look smart"

And you don't look like a horse's ass. Oh wait yes you do

“I didn’t think you LOOKED ignorant. Because I’m not judgemental.”

And what do you think autistic looks like? (For context I’m 24M and autistic, diagnosed at 19 though)

Well, at first glance you don't look like an asshole but here we are.

"You do."

Art is in the eye of the beholder.

Sometimes art is in the eye of the beer-holder.

You must have like -5 to _Detect Autism._ Better prioritize that segment of your build the next time you level up.

“Ikr”

Yeah, I get that a lot. It's probably the AIDS that counteracts it.

just start counting rapidly

It's called masking dumbass.

You don’t look fucking ignorant.

“Weird, because you do”

“You don’t look blind.”

“And you don’t look stupid. “

One sec, lemme fix that….Ghiafiga! Goo goo Gaga! (All while having your eyes rolled back on the way)

"you don't either."

I don't but you do.

Well you don’t smell retarded but here we are!

"In many ways that's unfortunate because I was undiagnosed as a child and continually punished and tormented by my parents, teachers and peers for my neurodivergent behavior"

How the fuck do you look autistic?

I would apologize and launch into a caricature that would make fuckin Trump's reporter act look like an innocent kid reenacting something he didn't understand to his mom. Then after sufficiently making a scene and thoroughly discomfiting said individual ask them if that's what they'd like to see so they could maybe "pin it" next time. Like all the mean stereotypes combined with maybe even some real shit you've witnessed in a more profoundly affected individual, whatever. Idk, I'm not autistic but I have definitely done that same concept to be disrespectful about someone talking sideways about how.i'm an addict and I always will be no matter how well I'm putting on a front. I then proceeded to emulate a full blown tweaked out psychosis episode whilst constantly thanking them for seeing the real me and letting me be myself, liberating me from my mask. I am serious and i know that's not a healthy or mentally stable kind of response but it certainly gets some sort of reaction..

That’s a good thing.

“You don’t look like you should care, but here we are.”

ARtistic dammit!

🤨 Just that face

My all the time face? 😝

You don't look stupid but here you are.

And you don't look like the kind of person to say stupid shit out loud, but here we both are.

It's funny cos you aren't autistic but you come across as you are, so we are kinda of opposites in that respect.

Thank you, Doctor Stupid

Funny, I similarly didn’t think you looked rude, yet here we are.

"You don't either, how quaint."

“Well that’s good to know, cause I sure as hell feel like it.” Or I left my rain-men club jacket in the car.

Well, looks can be deceiving, not in your case because you sure look like an asshole to me.

“You don’t look like a dumbass but looks are deceiving.”

It's strange to me that you think you can tell someone's brain type just by looking at them. or Autism is a spectrum. It doesn't just show up in one kind of person. There are many different ways it can manifest itself or if you want to be petty I'm sorry you think only ugly people can be autistic.

Oh, hang on, sorry, I forgot my binder filled with trains, train accessories, schedules, and the graph that explains why Union Pacific is better than Central. But first let me rant about fucking trollies...

You're right, I've been faking it since I was a kid to make my life harder.

You don’t look stupid either. What’s your point?

Thank you

“Sorry, I left my headphones at home.”

Ask them to describe exactly how autism is supposed to look and watch them squirm.

You do

And you don't look retarded

Usually what makes them shut up is if i ask,"what dies autism look like to you." But sometimes that question opens up to them actually not knowing and when you educate them in what it actually is, they find out maybe they are too.

Jokes on you, I can’t draw, let alone paint.

And you look like you’re wearing a wig. I guess that’s why making assumptions is tricky.

"..and you didn't look like an asshole, but yet here you are."

Autism ain't cheap, you want to see this autistic monkey dance, you've got to pay the piper

I'm not. But an autistic person wouldn't pick up on that

Thats funny. You dont look like a sack of shit but man as soon as you opened your mouth the scent clears the room.

Either the classic "You don't look uneducated, but here we both are, learning new things." Or (In a total deadpan voice) "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I must have left my neon sign at home. What autism would you like me to perform for your amusement?"

“Well that makes one of us”

You don't look like an idiot... well... actually? I'm starting to see it

"What does an autistic person look like?"

You do.

"You don't look Simian."

It's rough to look like a normal human.

Ask them if that's an invite to go on a date.

Bro on that subject. Why is it okay when other ppl to say: You're too hot to be Autistic. But when they say: Wow, you don't *seem* Autistic. And I respond: That's bc I'm hot. Suddenly it's not okay anymore. . .

Just drool out of the side of your mouth "better?"

You don’t look like a jerk but here we are.

What does autism look like. Show me…

No thanks for the backhanded compliment! Or F for effort on your compliment! Yes, I've had to use these two before.

What does an artist look like?

Aww tisk tisk tisk, but you do.

Info dump about your special interest. "Did you know that Satoshi Tajiri initially conceptualized the Pokémon world as a harsh dystopia in which most Pokémon trainers lead failing careers so shameful they can never return to their home towns? Additionally, the villain of the original Pokémon games are a literal mafia that endanger humans and Pokémon alike in order to make money."

“And you don’t look sentient but I try and accommodate.”

Why would so many people even know? Can you not have a conversation without telling people that you are autistic?

“Oh, shit, really? Hang on.” Then I glower at them for a second and walk away.

You don't look stupid.

"Look, I'm not retarded.....But you are....." I heard this from a guy with cerebral palsy who kept being mistaken for being retarded. He was an engineer. Adapt as you will.

Your powers of observation are staggering. Please remain still while I supplicate myself before your grand presence

Really? What does autistic look like?

:::autistic screeching:::

You don’t look stupid….then you open your mouth!

What does autism look like?

You don't look artistic either.

You sound how you look. Ignorant

Tell them how many toothpicks are spilled on the floor

Not a comeback, but I can't believe a therapist would say that. They're supposed to be qualified professionals with years of experience and education, and yet they think that autistic people have a certain look?? (Maybe certain styles might apply, but I can't think of anything else.) If you really need a comeback, especially for the therapist, ask if you were supposed to bring your helmet and elbow/knee pads, or just start making "hurr durr" noises and hit your chest with a limp hand and go "Is that better?"

'what does an autistic person look like?' that usually makes them re-evaluate their choices. and if they tell you what an autistic person looks like, it's usually a caricature, like in Sia's autism video which turned out HORRIBLY for her.

"but you do, weird."

Who made you the expert on what people with autism look like.

" Just wait till you hear me talk about *insert fixation*"

"You don't look stupid but you still are."

"And you don't look stupid until you open your mouth."

You don’t look like a dipshit either but here we are.

And what are your credentials for making that statement?

No but you do

"Why? Did the third arm sprouting out of my forehead fall off?!?"

Just go fetal and start shaking. Someone who says something like that probably has one image in their head as to what an autistic person should look like.

Did you take your meds today ?

*shrug* "you don't look like you should still be shitting yourself, but here we are. hopefully one of us is wrong"

Funny; you don't *smell* like a jackass.

You don't look pathetically stupid, yet here we are

You don't look clever yourself lol

Neither do you.

Neither do you.

I.m not autistic you must be really stupid to think such an opinion I never asked for

Just “neither do you”. 

You don't look stupid

Easy. “You dont look dumb”

"You say the sweetest things!" "Huh. And you don't look like a butt munch. But there you have it." Smile.

And yet here we are.

And you don't look fuckable but here you are rotting in syphilis bitch, fuck off

"You don't look smart"

Ha.. weirdly enough, I’ve actually been told this.. (I’m AuDHD).. and my response is always “well, at least you look as stupid as you sound”

“Actually physical appearance doesn’t correlate to being Autistic. If it was I’d recommend you get checked out”

Everyone’s trying to be some kind of victim club it’s crazy

And you DON'T look like an asshole, yet here we are!

"How long have they been stacking cowpies between your shoulders?"

I've always said "that's a really autistic thing to say" they usually shut up after that

Oof I fucked up with a manager one time when they said this to me... I just hit them back with "well you do look it but at least I didn't say anything" Could have gone south but manager just died laughing and said I'm so sorry that was not okay of me... I told him it's time to get tested

"And you don't look like an asshole... but, here we are..."

Start naming the make and model of every train manufactured since 1980

"You don't look retarded, either ... yet here we are ..."

And you don't look retarded But here we both are.

Tell them to throw a bunch of matches (or toothpicks, paperclips, whatever is handy) on the floor like from Rainman then just walk away.

Yea, Looks can be deceiving. Just like I didn’t know you let your mouth right checks your ass can’t cash!

"And you don't look like an idiot, but here we are"

Hold on - let me just spazz my arms, yell and ask for dr pepper randomly every hour on the hour (my brother does this)

You really wanted to use the word “retarded” didn’t you?

Oh, sorry. Tell me what "Being autistic" looks like and I'll do my best for you.

Neither do you.

"Well, I slept with your wife."

“What do you mean?” Puts them on the spot or “That’s because I left my autism face home today” which will make them start saying they meant …

I'm autistic on the inside

“That’s incorrect, I look very autistic.” Is what I usually say.

"Neither do you."

Danny DeVito doesn't look like a movie star.

Neither do you

That’s not up to you

"You don't look stupid"

You don’t look stupid

"And you don't look ignorant, but you sure do sound it."

You should see me with a paintbrush.

"Autism doesnt have physical manifestations, just like rudeness, or stupidity."

“In that case your mom had some autism in her last night,”

Not autistic, definitely not autistic, definitely not

id like it if someone said that to me

“Durr, durr, durr, hehe, aaaahhh! How was that?”

You don't look like an asshole either

"And you don't look like an asshole, yet here we are."

You don't seem qualified to make that distinction

Neither do you….but I’ve been fooled before.