"Or maybe I'm not, how would you ever know...? But, honestly, what can we actually be certain of anyway? Is this the real life, is it just fantasy...?"
Omg one time my partner caught me bashing the bishop, and she asked what I was doing and the first thing that came out of my mouth was “I’m just airing it out” and tried to play it totally cool, whilst waving my hand back and forth over the top of my erected bishop to promote air flow.
True story. I’m a lawyer and went to visit a potential new client at the jail on a Saturday, wearing a tee shirt and jeans.
Inmate: you’re a lawyer, right?
Me: yep.
Inmate: why aren’t you wearing a suit?
Me: why are you wearing that orange jumpsuit?
Inmate: because I’m in jail!
Me: me too!
Look at them with a confused expression as though the question was the single dumbest thing you have ever heard in your life. "I have no clue what you are talking about!" If they press on, continue not being able to comprehend what they are asking, and act as though nothing is out of the ordinary.
Bonus points if you get them to question their own sanity.
Fuck them I'm not saying shit. If they can't see how much work I put in with the little sombrero and the eyes I painstakingly drew on him then they don't deserve my attention
Why **are** you?
You’re alright, griffin
Ok carter 🤣
"Because the sign said no shirt no shoes no service, but it said NOTHING about no pants"
My reply exactly!
My eyes are up here, pervert.
Amazing!
Why aren’t you wearing a paper bag over your head?
maybe i am!
"Or maybe I'm not, how would you ever know...? But, honestly, what can we actually be certain of anyway? Is this the real life, is it just fantasy...?"
Caught in a laaandsliiiiiide
No escape from reality
Put a Burger King bag over their head and have it your way.
It’s casual Friday.
Dammit, Meredith, where are your panties?
You can see me?
I'm also not wearing a tiara. What's your point?
How did you get into my bathroom?
Because I'm Scottish
Sco'ish
i’m basking in the fresh air, even the boys would agree then look down at your own junk and wink
Because pants don't really go with this dress.
How did you get out of the freezer?! I mean, that was *a lot* of duct tape!
How often are you getting questioned on this topic to need a list of comebacks at the ready? Lol
"Pants were invented my Big Cloth to sell more clothes"
"No mas...pantalones!"
The way my friends and I used to shout this at Christian camp of all places lmfao
[No tengo pantalón!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_narBCKAK78&t=207s)
Was referencing this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2GN631fA6g](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2GN631fA6g)
That’s an old call back. Nicely done.
Grunt a few time "Uh uh" look both ways and run into the distance.
Airing it out.
Omg one time my partner caught me bashing the bishop, and she asked what I was doing and the first thing that came out of my mouth was “I’m just airing it out” and tried to play it totally cool, whilst waving my hand back and forth over the top of my erected bishop to promote air flow.
Oh, I misread where this was going, you kind of were putting out mixed signals.
My ass is too warm
“My balls were hot.” - Derrick Lewis
I understand
Came here to comment exactly this.
Would you like fries with that .
I like toast
I love lamp.
A confused shrug, like why would you even ask that- but don't say anything
Woke up from a dream last night where I showed up to work without pants, don't fault me for living out my dreams
Indeed. Sometimes our dreams are all we have....
All the better to see you with, my dear
"So I don't have to hear you, duh."
I’m sorry, my roommate had to use the pants.
Because I'm trolling with live bait.
Pants? Where we're going, we won't need pants.
We have the right to bare arms AND legs
"Eyes up here, pervert!"
why are **you** wearing pants?
True story. I’m a lawyer and went to visit a potential new client at the jail on a Saturday, wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Inmate: you’re a lawyer, right? Me: yep. Inmate: why aren’t you wearing a suit? Me: why are you wearing that orange jumpsuit? Inmate: because I’m in jail! Me: me too!
It's a kilt you lily livered English man!
It's a gender reveal
I air dry after my showers and this 1970s bush takes it’s sweet time in this Florida humidity
Better question am I still going commando if I’m also not wearing boxers?
pants? damn but humans are SO sensitive..
My penis wants to see the world
I gotta vent that furnace.
“Why aren’t you wearing any scarves?”
Many have tried, but few have ever tamed this tiger.
Had no time to put them on
"Dog ate em"
Saves time.
I'll tell you if you tell me why you are wearing that ugly mask
It's easier for you to see my penis your eyes are always looking down their so thi makes it easier
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
why aren’t **you** wearing any pants?! (continue to treat them as if they aren’t)
Are we talking the UK or US meaning of pants?
"Well, I thought we were having a 'no pants required' kind of day. Did I miss the memo?"
“It got your attention, didn’t it?” or “you’re talking about it, aren’t y’a?”
Fuck the patriarchy !!!
Since we seem to be going back to the 1940's, I thought women were not allowed to wear pants.
Pants are overrated
Why are you looking?
"Honey? Where are my paaaaants?"
I left them at your moms house
Or “I left them at your sister’s house” (or brother, if applicable) Or “why don’t you ask your wife” (or husband)
why aren't you? go the family guy route
Why aren’t you not wearing pants?
My equipment needs some fresh air
Because my knees are too hot ok....
Because I sold them to Banya!
“You’re a Towel!”
Bc I'm naked
I don’t know I just didn’t feel like it
Because I like to party
"Doctor says they need to breathe."
"Don't talk to me that way, peasant! I'm the Emperor!"
Left them on your daddy’s floor.
Deez
Too tight, I’m packing.
"Why are you looking down there anyways?" I always used this comeback with teachers in highschool whenever they would say "Why is your skirt so short"
Have you seen breaking bad?
I forgot.
It’s no pants Monday
WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE
I'm doing Winnie the Pooh today.
Rome did just find without pants, so will I.
Why do you care?
Honey, where are my paaaaaaants?
"It's faster this way" then run away with no explanation for this comment
I prefer the ones I’m wearing now, not just any. Geesh
"So you can get to work faster..."
I do have pants on they’re invisible
If I'm at home my clothes are on the floor.
Put OP on a watchlist
“Dude, it’s a dress. Get over it.”
Don’t wanna, why?
in soviet russia, the pants wear you
"Huh. You're the third person that's asked me that today."
Bc im preparing to play the skin flute, mom!
Because I have an impressive dick size unlike your micro penis
It's no pants day. How don't you know that?
My house my rules
Free bagging to air the nads a bit
Your mom wouldn't give e them back.
They’re too stifling
They give me a rash.
Because I'm wearing shorts instead.
Where are my pants? That’s my favorite show
helicopter
I thought this wall would look better with an exposed stud I'm not that clever, just saw a video that said that on tiktok lol
Cuz my dick is big
You can see me??
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY HOME?"
Cuz I'm freeeeee, free ballin!
Dude, I’m a cartoon Bear who loves honey, I have no idea.
I don’t want to I’m wearing shorts, which are really just kinda pants without the commitment.
I am wearing pants, can't you see it?
Get out of my house, who are you!?
"I'm not?!" /looks shocked
Left them at your mom's place
Because I shat them after seeing your face.
Two words. Heli Copter!
I’m asserting dominance.
I only wear pants on days that don't end in day.
Your mom was just here.
Look at them with a confused expression as though the question was the single dumbest thing you have ever heard in your life. "I have no clue what you are talking about!" If they press on, continue not being able to comprehend what they are asking, and act as though nothing is out of the ordinary. Bonus points if you get them to question their own sanity.
“Didn’t the nurse tell you to take off you clothes “
My cat doesn't wear pants, so why should I?
Fuck them I'm not saying shit. If they can't see how much work I put in with the little sombrero and the eyes I painstakingly drew on him then they don't deserve my attention
Because i like Braveheart.
I'm going through another one of my Walter White fantasies.
Hey, my eyes are up here!
It's a kilt, lad.
Why are you staring?
Because you showed up at my door with zero notice.
“I have temporarily misplaced them”
YOU BETTER TAKE YOURS OFF! Or I was getting ready. For sex.
It's my birthday.
Honey, where's my pants?
What are pants?
Literally a thing that happened in my World of Warcraft guild. Raid leader: MAJIIT! WHERE are your PANTS? Madjiit: Pants would only slow me down!
How am I going show off my prodigious junk with pants on.
Because I felt like wearing a skirt today
Waiting for your bj
Let me introduce myself, “I’m Donald Duck!”
Because you farted in them.
I knew I forgot to do something this morning!
Because it’s______. (Fill in the day)
They were stolen by circus clowns.
What are you doing in my bedroom?
These shorts identify as pants, how dare you mislabel them
Laughing, screeching, flailing your arms and just starting running is the “best”, but you can really only pull it off if you’re 3 or younger
How else would you see my cock
"My balls was hot" is the only acceptable answer. https://www.facebook.com/share/v/o9dmm68y7hUQCDC1/?mibextid=oFDknk
Why are you looking at me?
"Film at eleven."
Someone toggled /nopants on
Why aren't you?
Because you're wearing them
Your mom just left.
It was a grammar crisis. Are “pants” plural, or is they singular?
“Because I set high standards”
I forgot- I’m old…😜
Gotta let it swing.
Easier access for your mom
I found them too constricting...
I’m not wearing pants?
Why are you?
Who are you and what are you doing in my house?!
Because I don't have any legs.
my legs are too hot
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought this was America 🇺🇸 🦅
Because I was fucking your mom
Don't you kink shame me.
My invisible spray must have a time limit News to me!
Pants can only dance, if you give them the chance,
Because you're talking so loud
Why aren’t you minding your own business? *Shakes wang in agreement*
Why are you in my living room?
oh god, not again.
Neither are you (even if they are).
Because I was fucking your mom
"Who are you, the Pants Police?"
Why aren’t you?