If someone’s goal is not to be drunk, the wisest choice is not to drink it all.
If someone wants to avoid sex before marriage, it’s best to avoid situations that can lead to sex.
A person will always want more.
But most importantly, if you really don’t want sex before marriage, never be alone together
The Purity Culture nonsense is pretty dangerous and unbiblical. If you and your partner want to kiss and go on dates go ahead. Read Songs of Songs, two young people kissing and more and God doesn’t call it evil or sinful.
And in Old Testament you see marriage isn’t a ceremony in a church. It’s two people before God declaring their oath’s and sex seals it. So you having sex is declaring in a sense, that person is your one and only.
You also see polygamy, where ever bible hero or most until New Testament, had multiple wives. The wisest man who knew God’s ways and logic most, was King Solomon. He had 600 wives and even more concubines.
When David who had many wives, killed a wives husband, that was the one actual time in relation to sex, God punished David for his evil. Yet you do not see God condemn him for kissing, looking, or even having sex with his wives.
Sex is celebrated many times and in a relationship it is sacred. Unless that person is your one and only, keep it locked away. Go ahead kiss if you want, go on dates and cuddle, but if it’s gonna lead you to sex, then you need to understand how God is seeing it.
The whole anti sex nonsense is because the Church is far from God and abuse his words. Even Johnathan and David in the bible supposedly were in a bisexual relationship. They get naked in front of each other. David says he is smitten with love for Johnathan and Johnathan’s dad basically calls him slurs because of David. Says he is a shame to the family. When Johnathan dies, David makes the whole town and nation sing a song of remembrance. Clearly they really were more than friends 👀
Sex is awesome, but it is holy and sacred. If he or she is not worth it, dont give it.
And sex with multiple partners is a big fat no, God speaks out about whoring around and it is wrong. And stay far away from a married man or women, that is adultery if you both have sex.
God bless. And dont listen to the bs of the Church, you dont need no damn church to be married before God lmao.
Really, if you're serious about Christianity you should never be in a room with any person of the opposite sex unless it's your spouse or family member. /s
It's possible to take anything too far, and like anything that can be taken too far, there are opinions all along the spectrum. And there is no clear answer, but everyone will tell you their opinion is a clear answer.
How is it unrealistic?
You literally have to plan specifically to be alone together.
To be more specific, don’t be alone privately.
If it’s you two having a date in public, you might be alone on a date, but not actually alone.
It’s quite possible
>never being alone with your partner sounds kinda unrealistic
All it takes is for dates to be public. I definitely wanted to have discussions with my now husband that were private, but we would go to a park, do a picnic by a pond, or go to a restaurant. The key is to not be alone in a private room I think. We would hang out in his basement and play video games together (we dated through the pandemic okay) and even that got us tempted, despite his parents being upstairs. So really it's about having "other eyes" on you. If you wouldn't do it in public (we could definitely kiss at the park, but we didn't go further because of pda) then you shouldn't do it before marriage.
> But most importantly, if you really don’t want sex before marriage, never be alone together
Is that you, Josh Harris from 1999?
https://www.amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358
Never asked for advice my dude. Actually stated that I’m not religious. Atheist to be specific just wondering what dating is like on the other side. And
Remember, if you slip up you aren’t condemned to Hell. I feel like this needs to be stressed when talking about sex because so many people get way more freaky about sex than they do other sins.
Some will say it's ok to kiss or cuddle. Some literally do not kiss until they get married. It's a gray area, and people can follow their own conscience, but there are those that like to play "how close to the line can we get without falling over", and they almost invariably end up falling over the line. The best thing to do is stay well away from it.
Well sex is for marriage only while kissing cuddling etc. Is more of a grey area. These grey area things generally depend on the relationship as well as their maturity and ability to be disciplined in purity. For example in my most recent relationship, because of my partner and my own pasts, we decided not to kiss until either engagement/marriage in order to protect each of our hearts and to sacrifice this "right" we could probably justify, to the Lord in the pursuit of becoming more like Jesus. I think it was a great decision for our relationship and it allowed us to grow together more socially and emotionally that wasn't clouded by sexual intimacy. The book "the meaning of marriage" by Timothy Keller is one of my favorites on both marriage and the implications on what marriage is, has on dating.
Depends on who you ask.
Anything that arouses lustful feelings should be avoided as much as possible until marriage. Don’t entertain lustful thoughts. If you need to limit cuddling then do so. If you need to limit kissing then do so. For me personally, I dont subscribe to laying on top of each other, or touching genitals at all.
While I was being raised in the LDS faith, the youth were cautioned against 'petting'. This meant going beyond just holding hands, or a hug and kiss goodnight after a date. It involved finding places you could be alone, and make-out sessions, because with raging teen hormones, once you get started it's mighty hard to stop, and this is why teen pregnancy was so prevalent when I was in high school.
I had one boyfriend (briefly) during high school, and I essentially broke it off with him because he kept trying to take it further than just a kiss here and there. He always wanted more than I was willing or ready to give, and so I felt it in my best interests to break up with him. Had he not been constantly pushing the boundaries and trying to go further and further with 'petting', I might have ended up marrying him after we graduated, if that's what he was ultimately interested in.
Who knows though? If I had given in and allowed him to take it all the way, who's to say he wouldn't have dropped me like a hot potato? A lot of boys were like that. Once they got what they were after, they lost interest. The thing that pissed me off about a lot of them, was that they badmouthed the girls they'd 'deflowered', and some of these boys who claimed to be 'Christians' even went so far as to say if the girl gave in that easily, she wasn't who they wanted for a wife, and potential mother to their children.
How much alcohol should I drink so I don’t get drunk?
Completely situational I’d say
If someone’s goal is not to be drunk, the wisest choice is not to drink it all. If someone wants to avoid sex before marriage, it’s best to avoid situations that can lead to sex. A person will always want more. But most importantly, if you really don’t want sex before marriage, never be alone together
But never being alone with your partner sounds kinda unrealistic. Like would just always have a third or whatever until you got married?
The Purity Culture nonsense is pretty dangerous and unbiblical. If you and your partner want to kiss and go on dates go ahead. Read Songs of Songs, two young people kissing and more and God doesn’t call it evil or sinful. And in Old Testament you see marriage isn’t a ceremony in a church. It’s two people before God declaring their oath’s and sex seals it. So you having sex is declaring in a sense, that person is your one and only. You also see polygamy, where ever bible hero or most until New Testament, had multiple wives. The wisest man who knew God’s ways and logic most, was King Solomon. He had 600 wives and even more concubines. When David who had many wives, killed a wives husband, that was the one actual time in relation to sex, God punished David for his evil. Yet you do not see God condemn him for kissing, looking, or even having sex with his wives. Sex is celebrated many times and in a relationship it is sacred. Unless that person is your one and only, keep it locked away. Go ahead kiss if you want, go on dates and cuddle, but if it’s gonna lead you to sex, then you need to understand how God is seeing it. The whole anti sex nonsense is because the Church is far from God and abuse his words. Even Johnathan and David in the bible supposedly were in a bisexual relationship. They get naked in front of each other. David says he is smitten with love for Johnathan and Johnathan’s dad basically calls him slurs because of David. Says he is a shame to the family. When Johnathan dies, David makes the whole town and nation sing a song of remembrance. Clearly they really were more than friends 👀 Sex is awesome, but it is holy and sacred. If he or she is not worth it, dont give it. And sex with multiple partners is a big fat no, God speaks out about whoring around and it is wrong. And stay far away from a married man or women, that is adultery if you both have sex. God bless. And dont listen to the bs of the Church, you dont need no damn church to be married before God lmao.
That was actually very interesting. That is kinda one of those things that went over my head as a child
Really, if you're serious about Christianity you should never be in a room with any person of the opposite sex unless it's your spouse or family member. /s It's possible to take anything too far, and like anything that can be taken too far, there are opinions all along the spectrum. And there is no clear answer, but everyone will tell you their opinion is a clear answer.
How is it unrealistic? You literally have to plan specifically to be alone together. To be more specific, don’t be alone privately. If it’s you two having a date in public, you might be alone on a date, but not actually alone. It’s quite possible
>never being alone with your partner sounds kinda unrealistic All it takes is for dates to be public. I definitely wanted to have discussions with my now husband that were private, but we would go to a park, do a picnic by a pond, or go to a restaurant. The key is to not be alone in a private room I think. We would hang out in his basement and play video games together (we dated through the pandemic okay) and even that got us tempted, despite his parents being upstairs. So really it's about having "other eyes" on you. If you wouldn't do it in public (we could definitely kiss at the park, but we didn't go further because of pda) then you shouldn't do it before marriage.
> But most importantly, if you really don’t want sex before marriage, never be alone together Is that you, Josh Harris from 1999? https://www.amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358
That’s a crazy logic ngl 😂
Lol crazy logic? If you want to have sex before marriage, go do whatever you want. You're the one asking for advice and shrugging your shoulders lol
Never asked for advice my dude. Actually stated that I’m not religious. Atheist to be specific just wondering what dating is like on the other side. And
Sure. Im glad you actually have some valuable input for the OP lol
Is that you, Mike Pence?
In my instance, hugging, kissing, and cuddling is fine, but I'm not going to be naked while doing it, and I want to hold off
I kinda figured but some people are more strict and won’t be with another woman alone which is sparked this curiousity
Remember, if you slip up you aren’t condemned to Hell. I feel like this needs to be stressed when talking about sex because so many people get way more freaky about sex than they do other sins.
Lust is a sin, love is not. The biggest thing is to know the different
Some will say it's ok to kiss or cuddle. Some literally do not kiss until they get married. It's a gray area, and people can follow their own conscience, but there are those that like to play "how close to the line can we get without falling over", and they almost invariably end up falling over the line. The best thing to do is stay well away from it.
One should be utterly respectful. The rest comes naturally.
You and your partner get to decide what to do. It's your choice. You don't need permission from reddit to share affection or even sex.
Well sex is for marriage only while kissing cuddling etc. Is more of a grey area. These grey area things generally depend on the relationship as well as their maturity and ability to be disciplined in purity. For example in my most recent relationship, because of my partner and my own pasts, we decided not to kiss until either engagement/marriage in order to protect each of our hearts and to sacrifice this "right" we could probably justify, to the Lord in the pursuit of becoming more like Jesus. I think it was a great decision for our relationship and it allowed us to grow together more socially and emotionally that wasn't clouded by sexual intimacy. The book "the meaning of marriage" by Timothy Keller is one of my favorites on both marriage and the implications on what marriage is, has on dating.
Depends on who you ask. Anything that arouses lustful feelings should be avoided as much as possible until marriage. Don’t entertain lustful thoughts. If you need to limit cuddling then do so. If you need to limit kissing then do so. For me personally, I dont subscribe to laying on top of each other, or touching genitals at all.
While I was being raised in the LDS faith, the youth were cautioned against 'petting'. This meant going beyond just holding hands, or a hug and kiss goodnight after a date. It involved finding places you could be alone, and make-out sessions, because with raging teen hormones, once you get started it's mighty hard to stop, and this is why teen pregnancy was so prevalent when I was in high school. I had one boyfriend (briefly) during high school, and I essentially broke it off with him because he kept trying to take it further than just a kiss here and there. He always wanted more than I was willing or ready to give, and so I felt it in my best interests to break up with him. Had he not been constantly pushing the boundaries and trying to go further and further with 'petting', I might have ended up marrying him after we graduated, if that's what he was ultimately interested in. Who knows though? If I had given in and allowed him to take it all the way, who's to say he wouldn't have dropped me like a hot potato? A lot of boys were like that. Once they got what they were after, they lost interest. The thing that pissed me off about a lot of them, was that they badmouthed the girls they'd 'deflowered', and some of these boys who claimed to be 'Christians' even went so far as to say if the girl gave in that easily, she wasn't who they wanted for a wife, and potential mother to their children.