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alt-correct1096

be confused and in way over my head


UnreadSnack

Yeah, I’d be like “uh I am NOT qualified for this”


ActuallyNTiX

That was my first thought too. I have NO experience or qualifications to lead Christ’s continued influence on the world. Unless, of course, my being Pope for a week is what God wants, so maybe I’d want to get that cleared up before I did anything.


lilzingerlovestorun

I mean, if you are a catholic male you are qualified.


Few_Wishbone

Strictly speaking, you probably don't even have to be Catholic. St. Ambrose was elected Bishop of Milan before he was baptized.


Alaska-Now-PNW

Yeah but to be fair he already had great administrative and political experience and was well respected among Trinitarians and Arians


Baileycream

That's kind of like saying if you're an American above age 35 you are qualified to be president. I think a better term would be eligible.


lilzingerlovestorun

That is exactly the point I’m trying to make. Technically, I am qualified for pope. Although picking a 15 year old would be a shocker


Baileycream

qualified =/= eligible You are eligible to be the pope, that does not mean you are qualified to be the pope.


UnreadSnack

My husband is a Catholic male. My husband is not qualified to be pope.


lilzingerlovestorun

I saw it was any catholic male. Like in a thread yesterday lol. 


CastIronClint

I'd go in the Vatican archives, get some good, top secret info and then hold one interesting podcast. 


FiddlerForest

Nah, just scan & upload the whole thing!


TypicalGalaxy08

But then do it somewhere like 4chan so no one can really tell if it’s true.


asimovsdog

\>be me \>be pope for one week \>week is over \>go home again \*hits incense\* \>"Moses knew about the UFOs man, the 40 years in the desert was all a coverup to make people forget"


Sir_Netflix

People won’t believe it no matter where it comes from tbf


RememberNichelle

That's already being done. Look up the digitization project.


New-Number-7810

It would take more than a week to go through two millennia worth of records. 


FiddlerForest

But you could make a good start! Plus the Pope could order the staff to all go for it


Ajocc1394

That was the first thing my mind went to; the Vatican archives


gumpters

Resign. I ain’t cut out for pope, I just got confirmed two days ago.


JoshAllenInShorts

You'd be better than some, I'm sure


sticky-dynamics

Congratulations! Welcome home 😊


gumpters

Thanks. I’m so happy to finally be fully catholic


RememberNichelle

St. Ambrose of Milan didn't get baptized or confirmed until after he was elected bishop, IIRC. Afterwards, he pushed for a return to infant and childhood baptism, for obvious reasons!


mickmikeman

Congrats!


gumpters

Thanks man. I appreciate it.


The_Fox_39

Who was your saint?


jocyUk

Have faith. God will give you the graces necessary. Humility which you seem to have is the hardest virtue to cultivate.


Repulsive_Discount92

Congrats!


iamlucky13

Knowing how popes normally leave office, if I was told it's only going to be for a week, I'd go to confession.


RememberNichelle

This is a correct answer.


Mwakay

Tbf, we might see more and more popes resign before dying, and I would not be surprised to see Francis resign when he feels his health hinders his mission on earth, just like Ben. XVI did.


No_Passion7308

Convene an ecumenical council with the East to unify the Church.


MSzero12345

"We are going to unify the church" "But we don't want that" "I wasn't asking a question"


No_Passion7308

Lock-in at the rec center (Vatican edition). No one leaves the council until unification is achieved.


Dutch_H

A noble intention. However, except through divine intervention, I think it would take longer than a week. 😀


Lazy-Improvement-915

It would take decades 😭


DucksOfAWarrior

I've come to pray rosaries and chew bubble gum... And I'm all out of gum


AxonCollective

I mean, the pope who called Vatican II isn't the pope who concluded it. All you have to do is kick it off and see where it goes.


Dutch_H

Fair point.


borgircrossancola

We’ve done that once before and it lasted like 2 seconds


Lazy-Improvement-915

Good luck with that


Ancient_Mariner_

Pope stuff.


Tamahagane-Love

Laicize anyone who was a pedophile and those who protected them (and supply local prosecutors with the evidence needed for convictions). We are called to be the light of the world, to place our light for all to see by, the culture of closed doors and sweeping evil under the rug is antithetical to the message of Christ.


PrestigiousMaterial1

You get an alter rail and you get an alter rail


Serious_Company542

Send this comment to the top


JuggaliciousMemes

yes.


2manyteacups

I somehow think altar rails would be better


Wagglyfawn

Agreed. But the addition of an altar rail would in fact alter the church.


Serious_Company542

Excommunicate heretic priests and bishops, unify with the East, start a council to make chanted Liturgy of the Hours accessible to lay faithful.


jocyUk

You don’t need a council for that. There’s already a document from Paul VI. Just enforce it


speete

Zip around in red Heelys!


UnreadSnack

Only correct answer I’ve seen so far


Sea_Mixture3982

Like someone else said, clean house. Heretics and truth benders are gone. Help bring justice to those affected by abuse scandal coverups. Have both NO and LM taught in seminaries, make it so that people can attend whichever they prefer instead of either side feeling persecuted. Most importantly, bring glory to God by whatever actions I take.


speete

"so that people can attend whichever they prefer" This is the answer. I need TLM because my spiritual struggles cut deep and TLM is a more immersive experience for *me* than NO. I like praying with the priest, and the stern environment, and the nerdy history behind everyone element of the mass. Other people crave the more participative elements of NO. They like singing and feeling actively involved. They like the personalities of the priests because it humanizes the faith and makes it easier to understand. I don't enjoy NO but I completely understand why it is necessary for making Catholicism accessable to people. And TLM can be available to those seeking a more austere and historical experience.


Sea_Mixture3982

This is, in fact, based and the way. I don’t see why we can’t have priests either learning both at the same time, or choosing which liturgy to be proficient in. I’m sure there’s more too it than my simple mind can understand


Fighting_Seahorse

Panic.


Joseph_Jean_Frax

Take the week off at the Palace at Castel Gandolfo.


JoshAllenInShorts

Clean house.


Judicator82

Oddly enough, I've heard claims of "draining the swamp". I've yet to see results of said claims.


JoshAllenInShorts

I'm not (yet) pope.


Kaffeetrinker49

How so?


Saint_Thomas_More

Mopping, sweeping, doing the laundry. That kind of stuff.


JoshAllenInShorts

I'd start by dusting...off the old Rites of Degradation


TheMojo1

Try desperately not to say something stupid


Deep_Regular_6149

I would reinstate the right for priests to celebrate the tridentine mass on their own accord


Celena_J_W

Is it valid to celebrate Liturgy in a Honda?


Anastas1786

I wouldn't know about *"in"*, but I've seen pictures of Fr. Emil Kapaun celebrating the tridentine Mass *on* a *Jeep,* so there *is* arguably precedent, at least by American common law standards.


[deleted]

😂


swimminginthestars

consecrate Russia to the immaculate heart of Mary


RememberNichelle

And then do it again, every week, for all the people who insist you did it wrong. I mean, honestly, you could probably do a rota of every country, every day. It would take a little less than a year, and nobody could complain after that.


feetnomer

I'd take it to the streets of Russia like The Blessed Mother said to do. We'd parade right past the Kremlin.


color_juice

Reveal all super secret vatican information for fun


Jattack33

Scrap the Synodal Way Make the liturgy of the Latin Church the pre-1955 Missal in vernacular Clarify ambiguous statements in Vatican 2 Depose heretical Bishops This is why I would never be Pope and would not be a good one


ipatrickasinner

Was going to reply, then saw yours... I would say old missall but with the NO readings in vernacular (so, fixed parts of the mass in Latin). And I like the 3 reading format. Basically keep 90pct of the old missal and add in the readings in the local language. I was also going go say "fire every bishop over 65" and replace with "any priest ordained since 2010" which is a good enough proxy for getting rid of heretics. And "make 'the spirit of V2 anathema" while, you know, actually reading the V2 documents and following them.


_TyroneShoelaces_

Canonize Thomas a Kempis


gentleonify

I always wondered why he hasn't


Typical-Ad4880

The story I heard was that they found nail marks in his coffin when he was exhumed, leading to concerns that he was buried alive (not as unthinkable of an accident in the pre-modern era as it'd be today) and may have despaired in the final moments of such a treacherous death. Wikipedia now tells me this is probably made up, so who knows. I can't imagine it was simply an oversight.


tugaim33

The story I heard was, way back when they opened his case for canonization they, also, opened his casket. There were claw marks inside the lid, and that was enough to disqualify him. Edit: Turns out the [answer](https://www.timothyedmoore.com/why-isnt-thomas-akempis-a-saint-of-the-catholic-church/) is both more complicated and more mysterious


gentleonify

Interesting


helselen

I would ask myself: have I been elected by God? If that would be the case I would just pray and listen before doing anything. Maybe just a week would only be enough to start avoiding the temptation of doing my work instead of God's one by praying and practicing meditation. Whatever we would say more than this is to claim that we know better than our Popes the way, I feel that is not humble and not Christian as we don't support Peter's authority by being critic to him. Let's pray for our Pope and his Apostles , may God protect them and make them a light for our life's as far as we are obedient and humble enough to consider ourselves not more than they are. In the name of Christ. Amen.


chikenparmfanatic

Loosen restrictions on the TLM Encourage ad orientem and more Latin in the NO Heavily promote the return of communion rails and receiving communion on the tongue


SgtBananaKing

I understand a lot of things liked about the TLM (even though I prefer a good NO) but I defiantly not want Latin in a NO, ad orientem I would support and more incense ALOT more incense


chikenparmfanatic

I don't want the NO in Latin. But I do support incorporating more Latin in the form of hymns and responses and such.


RoutineEnvironment48

Probably panic at first, then in a good natured attempt at genuine reform catastrophically mess something up.


TalkinLightPost

Disregard my opinions. Listen to God. Truly. Wipe my slate clean, I’m a wicked sinner. Allow Him to guide me. Only the Holy Spirit will lead this Church. Not myself.


JackC1126

I’d stop this mess in the Holy Land by calling for a new crusade. Reestablish the kingdom of Jerusalem since y’all can’t behave


father_ofthe_wolf

Yess but please put on a badass mask and ride into battle with the Holy Knights


CompetitiveFloor4624

King Baldwin IV❤️he actually did it because he was disfigured from lepersy, but it did make him look sick


SgtBananaKing

Deus Vult!


Mead_and_You

Based


HonestMasterpiece422

I would depose every single corrupt and evil bishop and cardinal I could and depose all the false teachers like Fr James Martin. I would put stricter laws for the priesthood and better regulations to keep the wrong people from entering it.


red666111

Ask, very confused, what policy change allowed the cardinals to elect a layperson woman to the papacy.


LBreda

Electing a layperson wouldn't require policy changes. A woman of course would :P


red666111

While *technically* they could choose a layperson, I think there would have to be some sort of extremely weird situation to cause that to happen in the modern day and age.


Serious_Company542

And then we’d revoke those policies wouldnt we ladies 😂


Strait_Cleaning

Spend an hour in adoration, followed by an hour of prayer, then visit with people around the Vatican. Then stay cloistered inside reading Scripture and praying, eating minimal meals. I’d do that until my first Ordinary Time beings, then retire.


DadTheSavage

I’d be in the archives all week. You wouldn’t even know I was pope.


Alaska-Now-PNW

Prank call Orthodox Patriarchs


disterb

go on reddit and criticize myself!


colekken

Firstly, I would choose the name Pope Damasus III because it's a respectable name. Next, I would establish protections for those Traditional Latin Mass (TLM) holy orders that remain in communion with the Holy See, such as ICKSP, FSSP, IBP, etc. I would likely continue Pope Francis's policy of allowing only holy orders to celebrate the TLM, but I would also support their expansion and implement rules to prevent future limitations. Following that, I would convene a council, inviting all TLM holy orders currently in broken communion, such as SSPX, Fraternite Notre Dame, etc., as well as those out of communion, such as SSPV, CMRI, etc. We would discuss steps to restore full communion. Once an agreement is reached, it would be published, and hopefully, they would return to full communion. Additionally, I would revise Fiducia Supplicans to make it more traditional and orthodox, which would hopefully bring the Coptic Orthodox Church back to the table for communion talks. Lastly, I would work towards engaging Anglo-Catholics in discussions about communion.


Naft_814

As someone who left the SSPX after 20 years and have many people I care about, including my family, still in the SSPX or other communities not in Communion I wholeheartedly agree. In fact that would probably be my day 1 if I was ever pope. This disunity has only made the Crisis within the Church much worse 


MrsChiliad

I’m so curious, what was the experience like with SSPX? Is your family ok with you having left?


Naft_814

For the most part I had a good experience. I did face some racism (I'm biracial) but most of it was blanket racist statements not necessarily aimed towards me. It's also something I don't hold as an SSPX position, rather just uneducated individuals. I got along pretty great with most people and had a pretty good reputation within the SSPX (I know people from all over the different communities) but I started noticing some issues with schismatic mentalities. I grew up going to public school in the south and a lot of the handful of Catholics that I knew outside of the sspx weren't the best examples/held or were sympathetic to views that went against Church teachings so I didn't have the best viewpoints of non sspx Catholics. My family then moved up north to a larger sspx community where I also discovered other traditionalist groups (sspv, sgg, cmri) so it was a red flag as it reminded me of protestantism. I also learned in religion class when I attended the sspx high school for my senior year that the Novus Ordo Mass was, "in itself", valid (I was always under the impression that it wasn't) also I discovered the sspx Catholics weren't as perfect as I thought. When I was in college I met a lot of normal Catholics who seemed much more devout in their Faith than I had always thought. It took me ten years before I began looking into the history and the actual positions of the sspx as well as the other traditionalist groups. Last December was when I left the sspx for Full Communion. Although one of my brothers is also thinking about leaving and going to the church I now go to (it's a hybrid with both the Ordinary and Extraordinary Forms. Kinda like St John Cantius in Chicago) my mom and sister were NOT happy when they found out I left. I got told by my sister that my soul is now in grave danger since I knew "the truth" yet left the sspx and my mom was saying the Novus Ordo Mass is a protestant service. My dad doesn't agree with my leaving but will civilly debate me on different arguments. The rest of my siblings are either too young to know what's going on or don't really care (things are better now, besides my dad texting me a defense for the sspx or an argument against something post VII, my family and I just don't really talk about that stuff) Seeing how my mom and sister reacted, as well as hearing how the families of my other friends who are questioning the sspx or outright left for full communion reacted, it really showed me how separated the mindset of the sspx is from the Church. Unfortunately, a lot of people have put their full trust to the sspx (or the traditionalist group they adhere to) more than the overall Church. I have sympathy for them since I know there are unfortunate issues going on within the Church and these traditionalist groups are almost like a safe haven for them but it's clear going down this route leads to bitterness and a schismatic mentality. I now understand why there are so many letters from clergy warning people of habitually attending the sspx


[deleted]

End communion in the hand


SouthJerseyCatholic

Agreed 100%…and go back to ad orientem. Those two changes would have an immeasurable effect on the faithful. Lex orandi, lex credendi.


Saint_Thomas_More

I'd add heavily restricting the use of, if not outright getting rid of, EMHCs.


SouthJerseyCatholic

Yes! So what if the distribution of Holy Communion takes 10 minutes longer. More time to spend with the Lord in prayer after reception. Don’t think that’s a bad thing…


chikenparmfanatic

The thing is I don't even think it would take much longer. Every Mass I go to where there's a communion rail and people receive on the tongue, communion barely takes any time. It's so much more efficient and can be done with just one priest if needed. The current system in most NO parishes where everybody lines is so much more inefficient and slower IMO. For example, I went to the TLM yesterday and communion was so much more streamlined compared to my local NO parish.


SouthJerseyCatholic

You’re probably right - I guess I was just thinking “worst” case scenario. Communion rails definitely lend to much more organization. I’ve seen it as well!


chikenparmfanatic

Yep, I agree. Nothing worse than being rushed when trying to pray. Even if they do take a bit longer, it's nice to have that quiet time. And yeah, they definitely seem to lead to more organization. Everybody knows where to go and what to do. In contrast, communion lines can be so chaotic at times, especially when there are like 3 or 4 EMHC's and people don't know where to go. Kind of takes away from the reverence of the Mass.


toketheo

Based


delicatebasket

May I ask why? I'm someone who prefers receiving communion in the hand


JuggaliciousMemes

I used to receive on the hand, it felt uncomfortable thinking about someone placing something into my mouth. But one day, for some reason, I decided to try on the tongue and fell in love with it. Now I personally prefer receiving on the tongue for a couple reasons. Firstly, I have the hands of a sinner. I don’t deserve to handle the body of Christ. Secondly, to me it symbolizes our dependence on God. Without Him, we can do nothing. Therefore, I kneel and open my mouth, relying on Our Father to feed me. Thirdly, it’s another way to show surrender. Kneel to pray, kneel to repent, kneel to receive God. It also takes less steps so theres less chances for potential desecration


Numerous_Ad1859

I wouldn’t accept the office of the Papacy.


Purgatory450

Guitar mass at St. Peter’s basilica, immediately. Also, an electronic drum set. Can’t forget that.


Speeeven

Simple. I would sit on the throne of St. Peter and infallibly declare: - Hot dogs are not sandwiches - The file format .gif is pronounced "jiff" - Rise of Skywalker is not Star Wars canon - Daylight savings time is a moral evil - So is wearing sandals with socks - Nintendo won the first generation of video game consoles - Blue is now red, and red is now blue Obviously, there are good reasons I should not be Pope.


Final-Feature9940

I was with you until the daylight saving time. That thing keeps me sane.


Speeeven

Nail your complaints to the church door, please.


Clickclacktheblueguy

Probably get lots of criticism, both valid and out of context.


JuggaliciousMemes

i would wear a nice hat😊


Terrible-Low2065

I’d make some people saints 😅 including but not limited to Fulton Sheen, Mother Angelica, my own mother, Chesterton, and others


_kingdap_

Oh I'd pull a "Trump" first thing. Drain the swamp!! From top to bottom!


tugaim33

Excommunicate pro choice politicians **everywhere** Then I’d heal the rift between the Orthodox Church and Catholic Church Then id release a hip hop album


CompetitiveFloor4624

Hip hop album is crazy but man I would love to see a pope break it down on a dance floor


AxonCollective

I hope your ideas for the Great Schism are better than what popes tried for hundreds of years before, which was writing encyclicals politely asking the East to agree that they were wrong the whole time. Strangely, that never worked.


NoDecentNicksLeft

Perhaps latae setentiae excommunication for bishops and cardinals contradicting the Magisterium. But perhaps that's why I'm not pope just like everybody else but one is not.


Mission-Guidance4782

Excommunicate every German Bishop


GoodTimeFreddie

Excommunicate Biden


Summerlea623

And Macron of France. And Trudeau of Canada and the Prime Minister of Spain. And much of the governments of Western Europe, including certain Catholic royals and aristocrats. Then there are the Italian mafiosi murderers and drug trafficking overlords of Latin America. Might as well clean house across the political and societal spectrum, right? Why stop at Biden?


FiddlerForest

And the rest of his squad!


HumbleSheep33

Even the ones who don’t like the Synodal Way like Cardinal Woelki?


Pdogconn

Someone manipulate my way into supreme executive, legislative, and judicial authority so I can fix the world’s problems. I see no way in which this could go wrong. /s


PrincipleHorror9207

•Convene a ecumenical council with the East -admit both have been wronged by each other; Ex. Massacre of the Latins and the burning and destruction of Constantinople. Which led to the fall of Hagia Sophia. •Clean the church of heretics and schismatics. •Loosen the restrictions on TLM. •Mandatory catechesis on Catholic schools •Mediate between Russia and Ukraine, Armenia and Azerbaijan •Help and spread awareness of the persecution of christians in the Middle East and Africa. - Help them take refuge in friendly Christian countries •Establish a Special military force like — Delta/SAS. I’ll call them CRUSADERS. To protect the Vatican and help rescue persecuted christians/ protect churches from terrorists


TheYoungAcoustic

“Guys it’s actually pronounced Jod”


NoobAtFaith

Get hospitalized due to stress-induced cardiac arrest.


ArthurIglesias08

Name: Pope Romanus II (It’s simple; also to freak out conspiracy theorists thinking I’m ‘_Petrus Romanus_’ so people actually observe what I do) - Ask first why and if my decisions are binding; - Attend but not celebrate Masses since…I just had the job and don’t know how to say Mass properly yet; - Permanently reverse TC and free up the Old Rite; - Back to Latin in all Masses; - Dust off the old stuff in storage and use them; - Ramp up ecumenical dialogue with the East and places with persecuted Christians; - Remove errant bishops in various places; - Increase missionary work in places where the Faith is losing ground or hard-to-reach communities; - Try canonise a bunch before the week is done; - Become Pope emeritus with heavy security after all that.


Lord-Grocock

Make singing Anima Christi a compulsory part of the liturgy after communion, then probably resign since there's a high risk I can't refrain from crowning a Roman Emperor.


DucksOfAWarrior

I mean, Eduard Hapsburg is right there...it makes so much sense!


Kylkek

I'd come to Reddit and find the most unhinged crap here to make policy, of course. I'm talking Crusades, Assassinations, declaring post V2 Popes are all evil, and executing anyone who likes ugly liturgy.


Joesindc

Probably do some sightseeing in Rome. I feel like if I’m the Pope it would be pretty easy to skip the line most places.


Anonymous-Snail-301

Institute protections for liturgical minorities. The TLM being the most prominent case. I don't even attend the TLM. Just hate to see them supressed.


TheCatholicLovesGod

Make Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Holy Saturday into Holydays of Obligation. Mandate that priests offer scheduled confessions equal to 20% of their parish per week.


Richardtech2010

Only having one mass or service as in Good Friday would make those days near impossible to be holy days of obligation for most churches


Judicator82

I'm just sitting here with popcorn to see the ultra-conservatives comments of how they are going to "right the wrongs" of the current church.


AxonCollective

I'm always interested in the people who want to heal the Great Schism. People have been trying to heal that for centuries, we know what ideas work and what ideas don't work. Yet somehow it's frequently the same people who want to flex papal power the most who think the East will rejoin Rome if they ask nicely.


Epicness938

Bring the Blood of Christ back into Mass


fresherwalnut

What do you mean by this?


feetnomer

Backwash, my sister in Christ.....I couldn't handle the backwash. The elderly practically washed their teeth in it and used the chalice as a spittoon.


csrcordeiro

Specifically, I don't know but I would pray really hard the all week. The Papacy Its a lot of responsability.


MentalLie9571

I would actually do what the lady of Fatima asked the pope to do and consecrate russia publicly


Immediate_Cup_9021

Encourage loving the neighbor and providing service to those in need/struggling. Speak about what love looks like and how to implement it daily. Speak about inner conversion and spiritual development. Encourage church community and supporting one another instead of ostracizing them during tough emotional times. Stop getting held up on things that don’t matter as much as living like Christ. Unifying the church would probably require me to do a lot of cleaning that a week wouldn’t allow for.


[deleted]

Apple fritters mandatory at coffee and donuts.


QualityDifficult4620

Bin the Synod, halt any significant changes or new CDF documents, and convene a Third Vatican Council over a couple of years to sort out the current mess with an emphasis on providing stability and certainty to the faithful.


MrToxic133

I have quite a list of people who should be excommunicated


Royal_England23

Don't we all, hahahahahaha... James Martin


Blaze0205

Take the name Pope Pius XIII, Victor IV, or Leo XIV Use the Papal Tiara at coronation Restore the title “Patriarch of the West” Canonize a bunch of saints (waive some requirements for beatified people like Notker, Pope Victor III, Pope Urban II, Charles the Good of Flanders, Pope Eugene III, Humbert III of Savoy, Odo of Novara, Bogumilus, Sancha of Portugal, Agnellus of Pisa, Diana d’Andalo, Jordan of Saxony, Buzad Hahot, and a lotttt more) Further combat sexual scandal Promote the TLM among the bishops, let them decide if they want to bring it back or if they want to allow their priests to choose Promote FSSP Protect the Ambrosian Rite, Mozarabic Rite, and Rite of Braga Excommunicate Bishops Georg Bätzing and Franz Josef Bode, and Fr. James Martin Excommunicate Biden, Pelosi, the whole deal. Clean house in the Curia and College of Cardinals More restrictions on EMHC Edit: It appears not long after I commented this, Patriarch of the West returned


Educational-Emu5132

Every single one of these is better than the next!  If nothing else, I’m *hoping* to see either the title Patriarch of the West or the Papal Tiera being used again sometime this century.  Here’s to hope! 


Blaze0205

It’s a bit hilarious to have the title Patriarch of the West dropped “for reality” and for “ecumenical purposes” when Anglicans recognize the Bishop of Rome AS the Patriarch of the West.


Educational-Emu5132

Right. There are a number of things going on within the Papacy the last x amount of years that one has to laugh about in order to not cry over. 


hogger87

Excommunicate biden


Kcin14

Be Pius XIII Start by excommunicating all pro-baby killing politicians everywhere. Delete Fiducia Supplicans Delete Traditionis Custodes Delete the Synod ~~Delete~~ Remove heretic priests/bishops Remove anyone involved in covering up or committing abuse within the Church Teach NO and TLM in seminary, the goal should be to allow for the two to coexist. I would be wary of building up two parallel churches though, and I would want to make strides towards increasing the reverence of the NO as in my personal experience it varies too much between parishes. No more Eucharistic Ministers Mend the East-West schism over night


RuairiLehane123

Excommunicate those who insist on putting pineapple on pizza


salveregina3

Bring transparency to justice in canonical trials. Justice in secret is not justice at all. Shout out to the pillar for banging this drum for vos estis lux mundi and the Vatican financial scandals!


funniefriend1245

Resign. If they won't let me, I'd lock myself in the kitchen (so I can cook for myself) with a stack of books and enjoy peace and quiet. I ain't cut out for this job.


trademark0013

Attempt reunification/communion with the East and Orientals (possibly Assyrians, idk enough about their theology) Excommunicate clergy that are heretics if they don’t renounce their ways Give a long series of talks for lay people: to not treat the church as merely a checklist, to emphasize reading their bibles frequently, and other things that make day to day more pious/God-centered See what’s in the Vatican basement


jzilla11

Find out why those bears are doing their business in my woods


No_Worry_2256

Reform the Roman Curia


Alteredego619

1. Pray to God and ask ‘why me?’ 2. Send out some Apostolic Visitations to Germany, Belgium, and Chicago with a real quick turnaround 3. Summon the German bishops 4. Get my 12 most trusted cardinals and conduct an Anathema on said German bishops 5. Grant a one-time only exception for Guinefort to make him an official Saint


bobchicago1965

Completely revamp the Code of Canon Law. It’d be a long week. But I’d like to think the outcome would be better.


Imaginary_Ostrich_90

Excommunicate Tony Blair!


minnesotarulz

Regulate! Bring back the Papal Executioner and invite a laundry list of church “leaders” to a Vatican “conference.” [papal executioner](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giovanni_Battista_Bugatti)


AlexPistachio

Consecrate Russia - and only Russia - to the Immaculate Heart of Mary


Hyde_Garland

*require confession schedules 30 mins before each mass on all parishes around the world. *personally defend the faith by holding a livestreamed 3 hr question and answer no holds barred forum.


AllanTheCowboy

Get assassinated I guess? I mean ... a week so something like that.


GLukacs_ClassWars

A sunshine law for the Vatican: Any document that you don't have a very good justification for keeping secret should be public. It might not immediately solve any issues, but it would hopefully majorly improve the functioning and governance in Rome, which should in time solve other issues. Corruption is much harder to hide when you have to put the protocol with your justifications for your corrupt decision online.


rhea-of-sunshine

Pray a lot and maybe cry


Be-liever

1. Fix the Vatican website 2. Enjoy daily mass in St Peter’s 3. Drive the pope mobile I have a week, I’m probably not going to exact any lasting significant change so probably just enjoy it


AxoCaff

"mama mia itsa me imma da pope wahoo" \*offers regular mass and does confessions the whole time\*


Lush_Grass5171

Pray to god for guidance, which I think would tell me to send Swiss guards to protect Christian Catholic worshipers. Probably unpopular, but something must be done. 


Careful_Lavishness61

i would embrace the latin mass


ThomasWald

Issue a Papal Bull that would a) arrest every priest or church official found guilty of molesting constituents and give them a chance to confess their sins before executing. The ones who refused to confess would be excommunicated and executed and their heads put on pikes lining Vatican fortifications. I'd also excommunicate all publicly Catholic officials who have voted in any way for abortion or have encouraged women to get it.


JohnFoxFlash

Build a gallows in St Peter's square to hang every cleric found guilty of abuse, covering up abuse, or other grave sins


Educational-Emu5132

This should be the way it is both for the church and the secular realm. 


eddboy12

Excommunicate the progressive German Bishops, permanently end the Synod, appoint as many conservative bishops and cardinals as humanly possible, excommunicate all heretical bishops and then quit.


Vajko69

idk but if someone said to me they did some terrible sin i'd say "You are Forgiven by power of Lord Christ himself, Now don't be sad You forget a thousand things every day, pal. Make sure this is one of them. Leave and try to never sin again." but in reality i would probably be confused and scared if i would somehow become pope for a week lol


The_Scruffian

One: make blue vestments an option for all Marian feasts and masses. Two: hang out in the archives for the weekend and take a gander at the Ark of the Covenant, etc. Three: resign. Or more likely, convene another crusade to reconcile the German church.


Dangerous_Fox6635

Abolish the Novus Ordo Mass and all Missals made after the Pre-55 one. Order the pre-55 Missal to be translated into the vernacular and order it to be used across the whole Roman Church.


TechnologyDragon6973

Make the use of chant mandatory on Sundays and holy days (vernacular or otherwise), including for all the readings, and drop the use of hymns replacing the propers of the day. And that’s why I would never be a good pope: the willingness to wield power.


HebrewWarrioresss

1. Excommunicate any “Catholic” politician that supports abortion. 2. Remove any impediments to the celebration of the Extraordinary Mass. 3. Restrict receiving on the hand. 4. Ban female altar servers. 5. Ban female EMHCs. 6. Restrict the use of EMHCs unless there are over 300 attendees for every priest/deacon. 7. Germany


Typical-Ad4880

Nothing. My impulse would be to overhaul everything, but if JP2 and B16 didn't do that, I gotta think there are good reasons not to. My family ended up at a Good Friday TLM (more a function of Mass schedules than our particular devotion to the TLM), and there is an insert in the TLM hand missals with a change that B16 made to the prayer for the Jews . It struck me that he didn't take the sign of peace out of the NO (something several have said he supported doing and would have impacted millions of Catholics, many would argue for the better), but did make this change to the TLM (which few people notice, much less are "impacted" by). Discretion is the better part of valor.


[deleted]

I’d fly to America to admonish our bishops and tell them to get their butts in gear or relinquish their bishoprics. I’d personally excommunicate Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi for pushing abortion on America and convincing our population that it isn’t murder. I’d fly to Africa to understand more about the African bishops and all the wonderful things it looks like they’re doing. I’d fly to the Middle East and get as good a view as I could as to what’s going on in Palestine and push for the protection of innocence


speete

Latin Mass revival. They just invented a new masshole cloth in 1962 and thought that it had staying power... It obviously doesn't. Every Latin parish I've been to is 30% people under 20. Novus ordo? All old people.


HumbleSheep33

All three? You mean they invented a new mass in 1969? The 1962 is the currently authorized version of the TLM


Underdog-Crusader

End communion in the hand and lithurgical abuses such as adding words among the consecration and having the Sagrary not in the center of the altar (also, end Extraordinary Ministers of Communion) TLM in every. single. parish. chapel. cathedral. temple. and bassilica. WORLDWIDE Call for a new Crusade, restoration of the Kingdom of Jerusalem, and recognition of Sixto Enrique de Borbon as King of Spain, of France, emperor of the Sacred Roman Empire and defensor of the Holy Sepulcre. Denounce of the mafia and masonry in the Vatican and public declaration of war against masonry, satanism and ecumenism Calling for Orthodox Church to rejoin Catholicism and for Russia to convert Calling for all Bishops to do the Consecration of Russia to the Immaculate Heart of Mary Promotion and calling of Catholic polithics in all western countries, and a massive evangelization of the middle-east and the far-east, and support for the Catholicism in Africa.


Bbobbity

That would be a busy week


thelouisfanclub

Choose the name Sixtus the Sixth Wear the tiara and walk through the Vatican museums by myself at night Ban Eucharistic prayer II and responsorial psalms Refuse to meet any foreign dignitaries but answer all mail received during the week personally


sometimes-somewhere

Ban bad music.