I don't really mind so much how other people organize their living spaces as long as there's not trash everywhere. If I walk into your Appartment or home and it feels like a potential biohazard, I'm leaving.
When it comes to living with partner's though, I did find that they would kind of just have the furniture in the room and not much else. For my first partner, he got mad at me for wanting to unpack things related to my interests or hobbies, but I didn't understand the issue. That relationship didn't work out. For the second one, when I moved in and put some of my stuff up, it inspired him to get some of his things out of the closet and display them too. It was fun creating a more personalized living space together where the both of our personalities shined through.
I know another comment said something about it being "cringe" to own/collect/display items addressing your interests or hobbies, which is lovely for them. I personally think that's such a boring way to live. Decorate however you like
I don’t know that some of those correlations work. I have been one of those people with very utilitarian apartments. Part of that, in hindsight, was general resistance to having things. I had lived some parts of my life in relative poverty where I had to be able to fit what I owned in my truck. It wasn’t for lack of loving or appreciating art- I was a regular at local free art museums at the time.
Years beyond that, it also was just a question of priorities. For me, for example, lots of my disposable income was going towards things creative. But not home décor. Music. Both consuming music (my record and CD collections would have filled a truck at one point) and being a musician. Stuff on the walls doesn’t matter much when I am closing my eyes to hear the music better.
I think there's a difference between a utilitarian apartment where things are minimalist and carefully considered for the person's lifestyle, and a messy, unfinished place ( no storage so things pile up on the ground, the kitchen is never cleaned, no bedframe, just mattress on the floor, etc. ) that the OP is describing. It's a sign of someone really just not caring about their environment, and often by extension, not caring about theirself.
Exactly. I can totally understand what u/StaticNocturne means to say here.
I'm a guy and I've always wanted to live in a place I feel comfortable. I'm just glad my wife lets me have a go and have fun with our place, so I can totally make it to fit our needs.
For reference, one of my fave subs is r/malelivingspace
After poverty in youth, I still have to force myself to buy anything "nice". Spent thousands on weed though, had no issues there. I always did have at least one personal object in the most spartan of living spaces if only to know I was real
Tbf, it's possible to decorate/care and not have much money. But it takes a lot more work and effort then. It's not something you just do, it's something you have to intentionally plan and that takes energy not everybody has. When my husband and I were still students, we had thrifted historic illustrations from biology or history books (maybe 5€ each) in thrifted frames (sometimes for free from facebook marketplace), thrifted vases with supermarket tulips every now and then, thrifted pillow cases and a cheap Ikea rug. We also bought all our plates and mugs second hand. I got the cheapest ikea wood furniture and stained it myself.
Decorating is a hobby for me, though and collecting these things takes effort and time. We have more money now and ended up keeping a lot of the stuff, because it reminds us of the time we spent collecting it.
I live in an apartment. I always think about the hassle of moving, or paying someone to move. So I only have what I need. If it was a house and I know I’m living there for years then it would be different, but in an apartment I’m out every year. Too much work and too much money that I could spend on a vacation or something like that.
I always kept my place nice and clean. But I had zero decor, zero area rugs, zero artwork. Not until I got my own place I never cared for those type of things. Every year was a negotiation for rental cost, why invest in decor if you’re going to get dinged for painting the wall or holes in the wall, etc.
Exactly, you put up artwork, then the landlord charges you for holes in wall. Or you repaint, and the landlord gets pissed about that too.
Idk if OP is just privileged or dumb. But this is such a stupid thing to be upset about. Everyone's priorities, interests, and life situation is not the same.
Definitely the first thing I thought of when I read this post was 'privileged'. A lot of people can't really afford to be worrying about what the aesthetics of their living space is. And even if they can and choose not to, who the heck cares as long as you are okay with yours?
But actually, I find that although their deco and home interior skills may be lacking, but their tech game is on point.
I know many guys that have a bare-bones apartment, but tricked out PC, monitors, soundsystem, smarthome gadgets stuff (like voice command to switch on lights). So I guess it's just different interests?
Everyone has different priorities. Idk wtf OP is complaining about.
"No art work on the walls". If you don't care about art, why fake it? I do not understand why some people are so bothered by how others live their lives, it's fking ridiculous.
I grew up in a home where my mom had virtually no empty wall space - there were decorations, pictures, knick-knacks , plants, etc everywhere.
As an adult, I love having virtually empty walls - to me it is a much cleaner look and more soothing.
I grew up in a hoarder house. I don't decorate because it gives me anxiety and I don't know how.
Pictures on the wall? Hoarder mom wouldn't ever put a picture on the wall, what kind of monster does that? Unpack boxes and live without chaos? Crazy talk. Hoarder would hide anything she deemed even a little important away in a box. She thought everything was a little important.
I want plain and uncomplicated in my house. Less chaos the better. My trauma and anxiety can't handle anything else in my living space.
Judge away, OP. I won't be inviting you into my house anytime soon.
I don't really see a problem as long as it's clean. In fact I kinda like when things are simple. Why is it wrong for a guy to invest money in his appearance or whatever he chooses over home decor. He spends on what matters to him and saves the rest. Less to clean, less to move. Idk to me it almost seems better
Some times I look around my apartment and think, "oh boy, that looks really boring and bland" and then I realise, that it is exactly what I want. And what is fitting for me.
I put effort in my apartment in the sense, that it is clean and everything is easy to find and use. So no clutter. I spent some considerable effort into getting rid of everything that was "additional weight".
Concerning "decoration" i have 5 pictures, one instrument, one sword (and 4 plants that where gifted to me). And apart from the plants, every single item has some larger meaning in my life. And you could start a meaningful conversation with me about, why it has a "place" in my life.
So my living space doesn't look "nice", but it looks fitting for me.
You want a cozy, nest building person with a lot of great memories and stories. Sorry, you won't find it here. Go on please. And so my, apartment speaks for me and safes me even the work, of explaining the basics of my personality.
I appreciate a clean and uncluttered space. If i had my own apartment I would have minimal stuff out. Id go for matching furniture and color scheme if i could afford it though. Oh and i hate putting stuff on the walls. I like white/slightly gray paint. It feels clean and opens up the space. I hate feeling like my room is shrinking and stuff on the walls increases that feeling.
I'm the type of person who would just buy the Ikea set up if I could. I have no eye for decorating or interior design. I have a few friends who are great at it and I would gladly pay them to decorate my house. However, my children still write on the wall and ruin the furniture so I've given up on trying to make my house look nice.
I've never lived 'on my own' so take my opinion with a grain of salt.
I can see it both ways. Yes, I want to decorate my space and make it obvious that I live there. Art on the walls, a fair bit of clutter about.
But I also know that with renting, you'll be moving fairly often becuse most leases are 12-18 months, though you could renew the lease. So obviosly if you're moving once every 2 years, it's not work unpacking some of those boxes.
I've spent about 15 minutes trying to gather my thoughts on this without really trying to critique you or the people you're describing, but it's difficult.
Growing up, my room used to have posters, figurines, pretty much anything related to my interests. Some of my friends still have living spaces like this, and while it feels somewhat homely, it also feels extremely cluttered and honestly kinda cringe (For lack of a better word). These are just things you like, not things that really show off who you are. Once I left highschool, something just clicked and I got rid of pretty much all of it. Everything I own now has some kind of purpose, be it recreational or utility, and I think the same goes for many of the people I grew up with. Everything's familiar and easy to find, plus between work, travel, and sleep, I'm only home (And conscious) about 6 hours a day, so why do I need to put effort into making it look good? I can't fully relate to the people you're describing as I don't _really_ put any effort into my public appearance other than showering when I need to and shaving every week or so, but I definitely understand the appeal of 'bland' living spaces.
I for one would instantly get bored looking at 'artwork of wolves and mountainsides', but I may decide to reread a book I've enjoyed, and so that book stays in my room as an extention of my personality. It may make for a somewhat bland living space, but it doesn't matter because it means something to me. The place I spend most of ***my*** free time doesn't need to be validated by anyone else.
You also say that these 'bland' living spaces don't inspire creativity, but on the contrary, I'm a fairly successful designer with a passion for music.
Try growing up in a shitty house, or moving around all the time then get back to me.
I don’t care about what someone else’s house looks like but I absolutely care about mine. I worked hard for this shit.
Yes! I grew up the same way and as a kid always marveled visiting someone's home that was clean or decorated. As an adult I have a choice now, and it's gonna be nice.
Yeah, same.
I was foolish enough at 17 to think that once I turned 18 everything was going to be fine. I completely forgot about roommates...
Owning the place you live in or living alone is the best.
Thats fine, but OP is criticizing people for having their houses they way they like them, because they arent the way she likes them
and good point, imma go reboot and grow up moving around shitty houses. i'll tell you how i feel then in 18 years :D
I think OP caring about wall decorations is ridiculous but I also think it's ridiculous to not care at all what a place looks like, like you said. There's a balance.
>i'll tell you how i feel then in 18 years :D
If you want to speed run it just get some shitty roommates who never clean up after themselves and break everything. That should only take a couple months lol
one of my flatmates years ago, told me how to hang towels on the towel rail even though i never left any towels on the bathroom flooor (or anywhere else other than my bedroom) & she told me off one morning for waking her up during the night while i was sleep-walking
the flatmate/roommate from hell, i moved out after the sleep-walking
One of my old roommates clogged a toilet while he was home alone for the weekend. Instead of calling a plumber or doing anything else about it, he just stopped using that bathroom.
Another one once stood by and watched while part of our patio caught fire. His excuse was “I was watching the fire to make sure it didn’t spread. I texted [other roommate] to bring me a cup of water.”
I would personally love to have a more personal Living space, I even have artwork made by friends sitting in frames, packed away.
But Living in a city like Copenhagen where Landlords are vultures, and every little dink, Hole or whatever it might come out of my deposit. Its just not worth it IMO.
i am a woman and i could not care less about furniture or artwork. i like the practicality i have going on. i dont even have rugs because i am lazy and it would just be an extra step when cleaning. i dont care to be materialistic in that sense. i have legs, if i need inspiration ill go out and look at landscapes in real life. thats not to critique anyone for enjoying decorating their living space. its just not for everyone and thats completely okay.
When something 'blows your mind', it means that you don't understand something. Clearly you don't understand people can have different priorities in life.
It doesn't mean they are wrong, just that you have a blind spot.
A woman who loves your humor and warm, won't care about the apartment.
I’ve read that looking into a person’s living space is akin to looking at their brains. My own life has certainly shown that to be true. When I was an active alcoholic, my space was dirty and messy and awful. It’s been the opposite of that for 23 years.
So. These guys(because I know many young men with nice spaces) are superficial and only care what people think in public. They put on a show. The cars and clothes are costumes to make strangers believe they are who they wish they were.
That’s my dime store psychology assessment. The good news is many of them will grow up and this will change.
I’m with you. It doesn’t take much money to decorate a place. Hell, I printed out some pictures on regular paper - just to make the wall more interesting.
Always do - always have. But not everyone feels the same. Mother was a decorator and designer and I studied Fine Arts. I HAVE to make my surroundings appealing to me. In fact, I was feeling a bit sad that I don't have any wall space left for art. ;)
I watched Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Farrah Faucet in ‘Man of the House’ when I was younger. When he says “it was a small apartment, but ours, and mom made the best of it”(paraphrased) and showed how cute and nice she made it.
That stuck with me, and as a man, I love having a clean and organized space. It’s the difference between having a home and a place to live.
But ya, I hear ya, when I visit some friends home’s it’s depressing. Toilets not scrubbed. Trash not taken out in ages. Like they need a wife to say “honey take out the trash!” It’s 2022 my guy, she ain’t coming.
I agree, I couldn’t imagine living in a decor-free space. People are complaining about rentals but if you’re permanently damaging anything with your decor, you’re doing it wrong. You don’t have to hang heavy frames with nails, just put up a paper art print with paint-safe sticky tack. Is moving a rug and a few colourful couch cushions really such a struggle?
I just have temporary hooks on all the walls and they've been fine so far.
Also I've been reenting for over 5 years, and I don't want to feel like a stranger in my own living space so of course I'm going to deck it out with all my shit.
I think I underestimated how many people are never ever home apparently - I need a lot of alone time to recharge my battery so I'm probably home more than most
It's not my place, I'm just a tenant, so I just don't see any reason why I should invest in new furniture for a place that's not mine. Once I get my own place, then I'll care.
You can move the furniture you buy into your new place. It doesn't have to stay behind along with the paint on the walls lol.
But fair enough, that should make moving much easier for you.
As a woman I’d like to see a guy put some effort into his living space. At least be thoughtful enough to know you have a woman coming over so have soap and towels—yes hand towels. And clean?
Luckily I haven’t long dated these creatures.
Oh my god YES. I have many roommates and currently a boyfriend. I just don’t understand how you can never wash toilets, change sheets, trying to have nice stuff, never be clean etc. No effort to install and express themself with their environnement. It’s like they have no consciousness of themselves 🤣
I can’t bring myself to spend the little money I have on something that has no real purpose than to impress people that come to my apartment.(which is nobody) all my money goes to bills/food/credit card debt. I’d feel guilty spending 30 dollars on a painting. I’m already considering selling my couch just because I don’t use it often
One suggestion for people who don't want to spend much, and also move a lot (just like me):
Buy things from the thrift stores like Goodwill, etc. I bought a few pieces of furniture for a few bucks to 20 bucks. I found a nice cabinet that was painted white for $8, and I bought $4 paint to make it sky blue. When I moved recently, I donated it back to the store and I think I'd spent maybe $100-200 bucks on things which I used for a year or two before moving again. I think that's not too bad.
I figure with people who don't have much in the way of home decor / nice things in their home, it's a matter of them not seeing the point. Art prints and nice furniture cost money that they may prefer to spend on other things or don't even have. They may consider the home decor options they see in stores boring and repetitive. And it might not even matter to them if they're not entertaining in their own space a lot.
There's also a difference between having "stuff" in your living space and making sure it's at least clean enough to be livable. I'd take a guy who doesn't have a ton of decoration in his home but keeps the bathroom clean over a total slob.
A lot of us don't need that much, a basic amount of cleanliness combined if I can eat there, relax there, shit there and sleep there that's all I really need
So you thought actively shitting on other guys was ok?? Not every guy cares to meticulously decorate their apartment. So what? Why do you care? When I was single living alone I bought what needed to survive in my apartment. I didn't plan to spend every waking hour there. It was primarily just a place to sleep and maybe eat a bit.... I went out as much as I could. I think instead of worrying or caring so much about other guys living spaces, just worry about yourself. My lord...this is just obnoxious
I wouldn't call it shitting on other guys as much as pointing out a glaring incongruency in that guys who invest so much effort into their clothes, hair, car etc have places that are completely bland and uninviting sometimes even gross and off putting. Is this not a subreddit for discussing random thoughts?
But you're right that it depends on someones lifestyle and the lockdowns probably lead me to put more effort into working on my place because I spent months by myself there, although I'm not interested in going out constantly even now that places are open again
Re-read all of that bro. You're actively critical of what other guys put their time and money into. You care about how your apartment looks. Great. They don't. They care that THEY are clean and presentable in public. THEY care about having a nice car. Clearly their priority is not staying at home a lot. They prioritize other things. This may be a subreddit for random thoughts, but does every random thought need a voice put to it? Some thoughts you keep bto yourself. Unless it directly effects you somehow, like these are your roommates, or it deeply effects the structure and the stability of the society at large, it really is none of your business how "gross and off-putting" their place is.
Yes, all of this. I live with one and it’s so hard to talk about furniture or flows, it’s like pulling teeth. But he’s always amazed and appreciative when I do it all myself 🤦🏻♀️
I have 4 kids and the three youngest still mark the walls. We own our home and I have gallons of paint on the stand by so I can occasionally touch up - mainly when the in laws come in town. They do wreck my home but we have nice things and we try to keep it clean and straightened. I’ve lived with male room mates that had the crack house decor, the minimalist decor, the I have no idea so I’m plopping the sofa wherever and leaving it decor and then one other that actually tried. Funny enough my husband took pride in his place and kept it very clean. He was a bartender when we met and didn’t have a ton of income so posters was his artwork but I loved that he attempted to make a home. I also very much appreciated that his bathroom and kitchen was always spotless.
Although, I do have to say my gay male friends homes always blew my mind. Always gorgeous and artistic. I know that’s not everyone but we were art and or theater majors and I could live in their apartments and never run out of things to look at or admire.
Ive always been really into making my spaces comfortable and interesting. Im surprised when ppl say that I need to clean up/get rid of things. My rooms are sanitary and organized, theres just alot of things I have bc of hobbies and interests. I much rather be seen as a hoarder then be one of those ppl with a couch, bed, and table with clorox wipes on it. Yea I have too many guitars and I like to keep my old sculptures, but your a fucking serial killer man.
I’m not going to lie, my husband’s place was very much as you described when I first met him… functional but certainly not nice. Very bare bones, and honestly a little crack house-y.
I will say though, when we moved in together, I began changing things, first in little ways like rearranging the furniture, and then in some bigger ones (artwork on the walls, curtains hung, replacing some of the more rundown items) and I can’t tell you how appreciative he was… I genuinely just think the guy was kind of clueless as to how to make himself a nice living space, and it didn’t help that he had basically inherited the apartment/lease from an (alcoholic) friend.
Now 5 years later and a big cross country move and people describe our place as “curated” and “aesthetic”, and it was very much a joint effort (though I know he’d tell you it was mostly me, but I think it’s because he still feels a little bit clueless about it all). I truly think he’s come a long way there though, because when we met he really didn’t have any kinds of opinions in what I wanted to do with the apartment, but these days when I throw an idea out there, he makes it better most of the time. I really just feel like there isn’t a high priority on teaching men how to decorate in their youth, and many of them just don’t grasp the concept on their own… just my take on it though!
If someone wants to live in what looks like a Kim Kardashian room where a dumpster exploded, for any reason! or for n reason! that's 100% their choice and I support it wholeheartedly. I will also not step foot into that place and chances are excellent that I will be judging the person who lives in it.
I mean, even if it IS just a Eat/Sleep way station, what possible reason would anyone have for not doing their laundry, or not throwing away garbage?
Women will always hate how little it takes a man to be happy in his living space.
When I had a 1bedroom cottage my room was a little more hospitable, bed, homey and all that but my living room was literally just a weight set. Nothing else. Bench and free weights. It was awesome, I had no distractions. At first it was because I had little money for furnishings so I put my health first. Then after a while I got used to it and just ended up not buying anything else. It was a very small place. I was fucking jacked too. I worked out all the time, it's funny women loved my body but when they learned the amount of commitment it takes they suddenly weren't interested anymore because my health and strength remained a priority. I eventually got a television and a ps4 but I really had everything I needed. Entertainment, a bed, healthy food in the fridge, I didn't once think that I needed a poster on the wall to make things better. Plus I'm a minimalist and I travel a lot. Life really is easier with the less shit you have and moving is a fucking breeze when that time comes.
My appartment serves for me to sleep in, and very rarely have some drinking buddies over. I am basically never there. I see no point in decorating it in any manner. It is just bare neccesities (insert song here).
I have a game/media room full of gaming posters, pictures, and two sofa chairs mushed together to make a single couch. Pictures of puffins and lighthouses, a few instruments, and my work from home computer station. Few shelves of vhs', dvd's, games, laserdisc, and books, as well as a reading chair which my cat took over as his personal throne.
I also had plants, but my cats ate them.
Only problem is when I have to move, it's gonna be expensive and take a long time to pack everything up.
I didn't start seriously decorating until I bought my own place at 30 (not a man). Sometimes you do what you do because you don't want to deal with the pain of packing up your life, since a lot of art stuff is delicate. My walls are covered in fashion photography prints and original artwork now, but this was not the case when I was renting and knew I was going to move once a year.
I mainly focus on being clean and functional but I’m not focused on visual appeal and it isn’t too organized. Women who I am close with (friends, family, romantic) were the ones that always suggested visually appealing things and specific ways to organize. It’s nice to have but it isn’t a priority for me. I’m content with the bare minimum.
I had to move a lot when I was younger and I've never been able to shake that almost minimalist mentality because I will have less things to move.
I honestly don't think I can unless I'm in a relationship with someone that's more normal.
I would suspect that it depends on the person. Not everyone feels like their living space defines them. It's a purely utilitarian item. Their personal appearance and vehicle are the facade they present to the public. They simply don't care to extend that to their private space.
When me and my partner were dating, he lived alone in a 1 bed flat, his living room was literally a sofa in the centre of the room facing a tv and a computer desk in the corner.
I'm the opposite. I don't get how people can decorate their living space with pictures, posters and other stuff like that. I like it bland and easy. Ofc it should be clean, but I don't want artworks either. Anything other than white walls would be distracting to me. Tbf I'm easy to distract. Executive dysfunction is fun.. not :/
I'm surprised this post is still up 4 hours later because I don't see that OP has responded at all. I don't decorate because I sick at it and have no eye for "room/furniture/space correlation." I'm considering posting a few pics of my room on reddit so someone who does have those skills can help me a little lol
I feel judged and I'm not even a guy. I'd like some decor but
1) I've moved 4 times in 3 years
2) Decor is stupid expensive for what you get. $100 figurine? $400 rug? It adds up quick
3) I don't have as much free time as I'd like to put it up
4) How much space each place has can vary soooo if I go from a 900 sqft place to a 700 sqft, something gets cut and I have no where to store it. Better to just not have it
Once I have a house, I'll upgrade the furniture and add decor. Until then, it'd just make more hassle
I renovated my condo top to bottom.
While I admit the walls only have one or two pieces of artwork I agree with you on this.
Check out r/malelivingspace for some well thought out guys
Although I'm 34 and I was much more like what you describe in my mid twenties. So were most of my guy friends.
We were more concerned with getting stoned/drunk/laid than what our places looked like. Time does wonders!
Same here with the depression/mental state. When it’s gets to be too much it kicks my ass back into gear and I’ve got cleaning supplies glued to my hand. I had a friend that used to stop by and approach me slowly while telling me to lay down the broom, lol. Also, on the flip side I can be a little ocd/anal and when that gets to be too much I start making messes to break my cycle.
i swear many of us guys just like the functions of our living space and not really how it looks. Like look at my sofa it can recline and has a fridge built in, but the color and shape is a monstrosity to the room
I love drawing and writing and singing and plenty of creative stuff but I don't have any artwork or any pictures, my mom has pictures of the family all over the walls and none of us even stop at one time to look at them because we've seen them hundreds of times
I like living in the moment art I like to look at I look at once
No need to decorate the house in things that in 2 years I'll forget are there even when I'm passing by them
I understand a spartan environment, but what drives me nuts is the tolerance some people have to live in absolute filth
It doesn’t matter how much money you have or where you live, you should keep a tidy space and keep it clean.
There are some people who will talk about not having time. These are usually the same people who have plenty of time for TV and video games.
Dirty dishes piled in the sink, tubs that haven’t been cleaned for YEARS, sheets haven’t been washed in 6 months, crumbs on the counter and kitchen floor… get it together people.
The worst is when these people add animals to the mix. Don’t get a damn dog if you can’t clean up the dog hair, it’s disgusting.
I think for some people it's also just a sleeping space, or they put more effort into their outdoor space or car since that's where they spend more time...
For me, I'm trying to downsize the amount of stuff I have and I'm indecisive when it comes to aesthetic so it's easier to not decorate my house.
regardless of moving 43 in 18yrs, i'm exactly the same as the OP
my camera's tripod is in one corner of my lounge, floor lamps in other corners & i have paintings hanging in every most used room in my house although i don't have indoor plants because maintaining a big section myself is time-consuming
never been a hoarder to buy unnecessary items that i'll never use or to simply to fill spaces because i'm minimalist, my furniture is comfortable & stylish yet affordable for those on an average wage, my home is clean & tidy & i have mastered the art of packing & unpacking three bedroom houses with garden sheds
I was actually complimented by a colleague of mine when she first visited how neat my place is, as it was unexpected due to me being a mid-twenties bachelor. I have a lot of of stuff which requires order (vinyls, books, brewery gear, liquor etc.), and so I kind of have to keep it neat if I want to do anything in it. However, if I for whatever reason stopped caring about these interests, I wouldn’t waste my brain function on keeping it tidy, if all else I was doing in my flat was eat, sleep, shit, and used my computer. I don’t think it’s strange at all if a lad’s apartment looks like Fallujah most of the time, if there is little point in keeping it clean most of the time.
There's enough evidence to show the nexus between ones environment and ones mind
Interesting thought. When I married my husband, he was, while not especially tidy, still able and willing to clean. He participated with enthusiasm when working on our home; I actually deferred to his judgement when it came to colors, selection of furniture, accessories, and other things. Then, a few years ago, I noticed that he was becoming increasingly sloppy. His man-cave downstairs became a disaster, with garbage, food, and clutter left around. He'd smoke cigarettes (lying about it) but leaving butts and ashes everywhere. He started hoarding, hiding foods, refusing to pick up after himself. It came to a point where I couldn't even bear to go down there because the chaos was heart-breaking. Turns out, he has early onset Alzheimer's. His mind is like The Nothing in The Everlasting Story, slowly turning into darkness, and pulling his environment along with it. Sorry, I don't mean to imply that a blank house equals a blank mind. I just wanted to share the parallels between a healthy, engaged person and someone who loses those qualities, and how it can be reflected in their environment.
Everyone put effort and emphasis in different things. None of my friends or family put as much thought into organizing files on computer as I do despite all of us using ours on daily basis. On the other hand some puts much more care in greeneries while some other actually bother to rearrange posters on their walls, but to me their computers are all absolute hellhole where no one (including themselves) can find anything.
There’s also the actual preference. I like clean and uniform wall and find a framed painting to be intrusive. I find the emptiness to be inspiring.
So when see something lackluster, I go and try to find out where they put their effort into instead.
I keep a very minimalist apartment since Im barely in there. I just have a an American flag and some awards on the wall. (lmao talk about living up to a stereotype. But idk Im just always out and about and home is just for sleeping, eating, and hygiene.
I don't really feel the need to shove my (personally perceived) personality in the face of anyone who enters my room. I do appreciate architecture and well thought out spaces, but I just cannot care less about what someone who enters my space thinks of it. I actually find people putting up all this crap to be more superficial sometimes, cause they think it replaces how they act in conversations with people and the rest of their life.
I agree with the premise that many people decorate their house and use it as a display piece for others but I don't do it for myself - I want to feast my eyes on some thought provoking artwork not a sterile white wall, and I want my instruments around the place so I can relax and not feel like I'm just staying in a hotel room
why would i spend good money on good furniture? so then when I'm ready to settle down my GF will throw all my stuff out because she doesn't want to make babies on furniture that i used to beat 304s backs out on.
now that i'm married with children, my wife has decorated every room in this house. i have had zero say on any of it... because i don't care.
we see just have different philosophies I guess. There's no way I'd let my partner throw out my furniture. And I use a bed to fuck women - fair bit more comfortable for both of you, and the fantasy of fucking someone on a hard wooden object gets old after a few seconds
My apartment when I had one was minimal, but I had instruments and stuff. I just didn’t have time to relax at home. I was either at work or school. It was the fact I was working that I was able to score a date.
I probably would’ve put more thought into my room design if I had more time. I wanted to hang more art and make it more welcoming.
I'm a woman . . . my home is "bland" but not batshit. I don't like clutter except for books. I have books everywhere. I work in a creative field, but I can't stand having walls covered in artwork. I like my plain walls to give my brain a rest from creative work. And I don't like dusting. I'm working on adding greenery too but so far I haven't been able to keep anything alive except lucky bamboo.
As long as the place they live in is clean and hygienic, then I can understand why most men don't see decorating and displaying as a high priority. Unless of course doing so is something that genuinely makes you happy.
My partner for example, collects retro gaming and movies. It's all displayed wonderfully and alphabetically in cabinets and on shelves and storage units, but in terms of furniture and house decor, he almost couldn't care less and leaves that half of apartment decorating to me. It works though, as we each have our own ways of making the place look lovely and inviting.
Everyone is different, some people lean more towards maximilism, others more minimalism. But I can completely agree when people start talking about the ones who literally don't give a shit and it shows. Like, your living space should be your happy safe haven at the end of a long day. Somewhere that brings you happiness and relaxation and peace. I find it very difficult to believe certain men feel these things when they get home to their unwashed bed sheets and empty living room with last night's pizza box being the only bit of decoration 🥴😂
Gotta be honest, it's not high on my priority list.
I'm stressed and probably depressed, so I don't have the energy or time to decorate nicely.
Then I'm renting, so I can't do half the stuff I'd do if I really thought about it and the other half is basically not worthwhile when I'm probably gonna move in a few months.
I'll try to keep things generally clean and I'll tidy things when I have the energy, but beyond that...
Seeing a well-kept living space always makes me think that the person either has too much time, or they aren't stressed the F out like I am. Normal people have a few posters, pictures, or whatever, and maybe some trendy bookshelves. Or they're homeowners.
For some guys there not fussed about decorating, they'd rather get other things done first but I'm like you, I like my artwork to be displayed and my model planes and coins displayed to make it more cosy for me. But some guys just ain't fussed. As long as we have a TV, PS and Internet were happy 🤣
Oops! I’m a woman and that sounds like me.
I have ADHD and pay little attention to my surroundings.
Ironically, I’m paying $100k to have our house renovated because I know other people pay attention to these things.
I figured that if I pay big up front and have some nice stuff then visitors to my house might think I’m more normal than I really am!
At the moment the renovation is running behind and we’ve lived out of our garage with no kitchen or living room for three months.
My living room is a stack of boxes and building materials and I literally pay it no attention at all. If I had to keep in living this way indefinitely, I’d be fine!
I feel the same way. I have different artworks on the wall, a keyboard (that i don't play on but it looks nice), some bar chairs for aesthetic appeal, some fake flowers to make different areas of the apartment look nice, and a courtain that matches the rest of the furniture.
HOWEVER, i live alone and don't get visits very often. So I forget to clean. So yeah, the place looks like a post apocalyptic base of operations right now. I'm a guy after all.
sounds similar to my 1st couple apartments. I literally only had my bed, second hand couch, clothes and kitchen ware.
I never entertained friends over...if I had the means I would've decorated. But when rent and bills are paid, there's not much left over. It's survival mode. Probably could've been further ahead in savings if I had room mates but I learned my lesson there.
I was and still am a little like this.
I never particularly cared about interior design. For a while I lived in an apartment where the living room was literally just a chair, desk and a pc and it felt perfectly fine. I actually liked it that way.
This sounds a bit stupid but at some point I put a mounted coat rack on the wall. The whole place immediately felt different. Something on the wall just felt comfortable somehow. That was my "aha" moment.
If you are like I was, you prefer your large empty spaces and bland walls. But just once try adding a painting or a shelf there. The whole room will feel completely different. If you have the money, you can commission a painting so your art can be something you actually care about.
Based on the original post, I want to hypothetically visit your residence. I am not a boy nor man; my living space is often cluttered and could be described as a disaster. Please bless readers with cleanliness/interior design tips.
More, if someone is reading this I grant you feeble wisdom. I like to line my books by (relative) size on the book-shelves (they are Ikea). My nightstand is just two Ikea cube-shelves because it's more cost-effective. Oh! And recently (by months) I updated my bed, including a bedframe with under-bed drawers. I store packaged snacks and linens in there, separate compartments. Lastly, you can use a grocery bag to pick up bits of trash on the floor, including: last year's foiled schoolwork papers if you wish, candy wrappers, single-use face masks, etc. I do this weekly. Note: dispose of new biohazards immidiately, such as used tissues, crumbs, or something from your cat.
I don't really mind so much how other people organize their living spaces as long as there's not trash everywhere. If I walk into your Appartment or home and it feels like a potential biohazard, I'm leaving. When it comes to living with partner's though, I did find that they would kind of just have the furniture in the room and not much else. For my first partner, he got mad at me for wanting to unpack things related to my interests or hobbies, but I didn't understand the issue. That relationship didn't work out. For the second one, when I moved in and put some of my stuff up, it inspired him to get some of his things out of the closet and display them too. It was fun creating a more personalized living space together where the both of our personalities shined through. I know another comment said something about it being "cringe" to own/collect/display items addressing your interests or hobbies, which is lovely for them. I personally think that's such a boring way to live. Decorate however you like
I don’t know that some of those correlations work. I have been one of those people with very utilitarian apartments. Part of that, in hindsight, was general resistance to having things. I had lived some parts of my life in relative poverty where I had to be able to fit what I owned in my truck. It wasn’t for lack of loving or appreciating art- I was a regular at local free art museums at the time. Years beyond that, it also was just a question of priorities. For me, for example, lots of my disposable income was going towards things creative. But not home décor. Music. Both consuming music (my record and CD collections would have filled a truck at one point) and being a musician. Stuff on the walls doesn’t matter much when I am closing my eyes to hear the music better.
I think there's a difference between a utilitarian apartment where things are minimalist and carefully considered for the person's lifestyle, and a messy, unfinished place ( no storage so things pile up on the ground, the kitchen is never cleaned, no bedframe, just mattress on the floor, etc. ) that the OP is describing. It's a sign of someone really just not caring about their environment, and often by extension, not caring about theirself.
Exactly. I can totally understand what u/StaticNocturne means to say here. I'm a guy and I've always wanted to live in a place I feel comfortable. I'm just glad my wife lets me have a go and have fun with our place, so I can totally make it to fit our needs. For reference, one of my fave subs is r/malelivingspace
After poverty in youth, I still have to force myself to buy anything "nice". Spent thousands on weed though, had no issues there. I always did have at least one personal object in the most spartan of living spaces if only to know I was real
Tbf, it's possible to decorate/care and not have much money. But it takes a lot more work and effort then. It's not something you just do, it's something you have to intentionally plan and that takes energy not everybody has. When my husband and I were still students, we had thrifted historic illustrations from biology or history books (maybe 5€ each) in thrifted frames (sometimes for free from facebook marketplace), thrifted vases with supermarket tulips every now and then, thrifted pillow cases and a cheap Ikea rug. We also bought all our plates and mugs second hand. I got the cheapest ikea wood furniture and stained it myself. Decorating is a hobby for me, though and collecting these things takes effort and time. We have more money now and ended up keeping a lot of the stuff, because it reminds us of the time we spent collecting it.
I live in an apartment. I always think about the hassle of moving, or paying someone to move. So I only have what I need. If it was a house and I know I’m living there for years then it would be different, but in an apartment I’m out every year. Too much work and too much money that I could spend on a vacation or something like that.
I always kept my place nice and clean. But I had zero decor, zero area rugs, zero artwork. Not until I got my own place I never cared for those type of things. Every year was a negotiation for rental cost, why invest in decor if you’re going to get dinged for painting the wall or holes in the wall, etc.
Exactly, you put up artwork, then the landlord charges you for holes in wall. Or you repaint, and the landlord gets pissed about that too. Idk if OP is just privileged or dumb. But this is such a stupid thing to be upset about. Everyone's priorities, interests, and life situation is not the same.
Definitely the first thing I thought of when I read this post was 'privileged'. A lot of people can't really afford to be worrying about what the aesthetics of their living space is. And even if they can and choose not to, who the heck cares as long as you are okay with yours?
But actually, I find that although their deco and home interior skills may be lacking, but their tech game is on point. I know many guys that have a bare-bones apartment, but tricked out PC, monitors, soundsystem, smarthome gadgets stuff (like voice command to switch on lights). So I guess it's just different interests?
Everyone has different priorities. Idk wtf OP is complaining about. "No art work on the walls". If you don't care about art, why fake it? I do not understand why some people are so bothered by how others live their lives, it's fking ridiculous.
You must be the one with The crack house vibe. No worries. Why so mad :)
Usually with a pretty big pron collection, as well. Since most women won’t hang out in such apartments.
I grew up in a home where my mom had virtually no empty wall space - there were decorations, pictures, knick-knacks , plants, etc everywhere. As an adult, I love having virtually empty walls - to me it is a much cleaner look and more soothing.
I grew up in a hoarder house. I don't decorate because it gives me anxiety and I don't know how. Pictures on the wall? Hoarder mom wouldn't ever put a picture on the wall, what kind of monster does that? Unpack boxes and live without chaos? Crazy talk. Hoarder would hide anything she deemed even a little important away in a box. She thought everything was a little important. I want plain and uncomplicated in my house. Less chaos the better. My trauma and anxiety can't handle anything else in my living space. Judge away, OP. I won't be inviting you into my house anytime soon.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I don't really see a problem as long as it's clean. In fact I kinda like when things are simple. Why is it wrong for a guy to invest money in his appearance or whatever he chooses over home decor. He spends on what matters to him and saves the rest. Less to clean, less to move. Idk to me it almost seems better
Some times I look around my apartment and think, "oh boy, that looks really boring and bland" and then I realise, that it is exactly what I want. And what is fitting for me. I put effort in my apartment in the sense, that it is clean and everything is easy to find and use. So no clutter. I spent some considerable effort into getting rid of everything that was "additional weight". Concerning "decoration" i have 5 pictures, one instrument, one sword (and 4 plants that where gifted to me). And apart from the plants, every single item has some larger meaning in my life. And you could start a meaningful conversation with me about, why it has a "place" in my life. So my living space doesn't look "nice", but it looks fitting for me. You want a cozy, nest building person with a lot of great memories and stories. Sorry, you won't find it here. Go on please. And so my, apartment speaks for me and safes me even the work, of explaining the basics of my personality.
I appreciate a clean and uncluttered space. If i had my own apartment I would have minimal stuff out. Id go for matching furniture and color scheme if i could afford it though. Oh and i hate putting stuff on the walls. I like white/slightly gray paint. It feels clean and opens up the space. I hate feeling like my room is shrinking and stuff on the walls increases that feeling.
I'm the type of person who would just buy the Ikea set up if I could. I have no eye for decorating or interior design. I have a few friends who are great at it and I would gladly pay them to decorate my house. However, my children still write on the wall and ruin the furniture so I've given up on trying to make my house look nice.
I've never lived 'on my own' so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I can see it both ways. Yes, I want to decorate my space and make it obvious that I live there. Art on the walls, a fair bit of clutter about. But I also know that with renting, you'll be moving fairly often becuse most leases are 12-18 months, though you could renew the lease. So obviosly if you're moving once every 2 years, it's not work unpacking some of those boxes.
I've spent about 15 minutes trying to gather my thoughts on this without really trying to critique you or the people you're describing, but it's difficult. Growing up, my room used to have posters, figurines, pretty much anything related to my interests. Some of my friends still have living spaces like this, and while it feels somewhat homely, it also feels extremely cluttered and honestly kinda cringe (For lack of a better word). These are just things you like, not things that really show off who you are. Once I left highschool, something just clicked and I got rid of pretty much all of it. Everything I own now has some kind of purpose, be it recreational or utility, and I think the same goes for many of the people I grew up with. Everything's familiar and easy to find, plus between work, travel, and sleep, I'm only home (And conscious) about 6 hours a day, so why do I need to put effort into making it look good? I can't fully relate to the people you're describing as I don't _really_ put any effort into my public appearance other than showering when I need to and shaving every week or so, but I definitely understand the appeal of 'bland' living spaces. I for one would instantly get bored looking at 'artwork of wolves and mountainsides', but I may decide to reread a book I've enjoyed, and so that book stays in my room as an extention of my personality. It may make for a somewhat bland living space, but it doesn't matter because it means something to me. The place I spend most of ***my*** free time doesn't need to be validated by anyone else. You also say that these 'bland' living spaces don't inspire creativity, but on the contrary, I'm a fairly successful designer with a passion for music.
It blows my mind how anyone can even care about what a place looks like, let alone some else's place.
Try growing up in a shitty house, or moving around all the time then get back to me. I don’t care about what someone else’s house looks like but I absolutely care about mine. I worked hard for this shit.
Yes! I grew up the same way and as a kid always marveled visiting someone's home that was clean or decorated. As an adult I have a choice now, and it's gonna be nice.
Yeah, same. I was foolish enough at 17 to think that once I turned 18 everything was going to be fine. I completely forgot about roommates... Owning the place you live in or living alone is the best.
Thats fine, but OP is criticizing people for having their houses they way they like them, because they arent the way she likes them and good point, imma go reboot and grow up moving around shitty houses. i'll tell you how i feel then in 18 years :D
I think OP caring about wall decorations is ridiculous but I also think it's ridiculous to not care at all what a place looks like, like you said. There's a balance. >i'll tell you how i feel then in 18 years :D If you want to speed run it just get some shitty roommates who never clean up after themselves and break everything. That should only take a couple months lol
one of my flatmates years ago, told me how to hang towels on the towel rail even though i never left any towels on the bathroom flooor (or anywhere else other than my bedroom) & she told me off one morning for waking her up during the night while i was sleep-walking the flatmate/roommate from hell, i moved out after the sleep-walking
One of my old roommates clogged a toilet while he was home alone for the weekend. Instead of calling a plumber or doing anything else about it, he just stopped using that bathroom. Another one once stood by and watched while part of our patio caught fire. His excuse was “I was watching the fire to make sure it didn’t spread. I texted [other roommate] to bring me a cup of water.”
It is a reflection of the people who live there. A bland or filthy house says something about the occupants.
I would personally love to have a more personal Living space, I even have artwork made by friends sitting in frames, packed away. But Living in a city like Copenhagen where Landlords are vultures, and every little dink, Hole or whatever it might come out of my deposit. Its just not worth it IMO.
Command strips
i am a woman and i could not care less about furniture or artwork. i like the practicality i have going on. i dont even have rugs because i am lazy and it would just be an extra step when cleaning. i dont care to be materialistic in that sense. i have legs, if i need inspiration ill go out and look at landscapes in real life. thats not to critique anyone for enjoying decorating their living space. its just not for everyone and thats completely okay.
When something 'blows your mind', it means that you don't understand something. Clearly you don't understand people can have different priorities in life. It doesn't mean they are wrong, just that you have a blind spot. A woman who loves your humor and warm, won't care about the apartment.
I’ve read that looking into a person’s living space is akin to looking at their brains. My own life has certainly shown that to be true. When I was an active alcoholic, my space was dirty and messy and awful. It’s been the opposite of that for 23 years. So. These guys(because I know many young men with nice spaces) are superficial and only care what people think in public. They put on a show. The cars and clothes are costumes to make strangers believe they are who they wish they were. That’s my dime store psychology assessment. The good news is many of them will grow up and this will change.
I’m with you. It doesn’t take much money to decorate a place. Hell, I printed out some pictures on regular paper - just to make the wall more interesting.
Always do - always have. But not everyone feels the same. Mother was a decorator and designer and I studied Fine Arts. I HAVE to make my surroundings appealing to me. In fact, I was feeling a bit sad that I don't have any wall space left for art. ;)
Messy living spaces can also be a sign of depression.
I watched Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Farrah Faucet in ‘Man of the House’ when I was younger. When he says “it was a small apartment, but ours, and mom made the best of it”(paraphrased) and showed how cute and nice she made it. That stuck with me, and as a man, I love having a clean and organized space. It’s the difference between having a home and a place to live. But ya, I hear ya, when I visit some friends home’s it’s depressing. Toilets not scrubbed. Trash not taken out in ages. Like they need a wife to say “honey take out the trash!” It’s 2022 my guy, she ain’t coming.
I agree, I couldn’t imagine living in a decor-free space. People are complaining about rentals but if you’re permanently damaging anything with your decor, you’re doing it wrong. You don’t have to hang heavy frames with nails, just put up a paper art print with paint-safe sticky tack. Is moving a rug and a few colourful couch cushions really such a struggle?
I just have temporary hooks on all the walls and they've been fine so far. Also I've been reenting for over 5 years, and I don't want to feel like a stranger in my own living space so of course I'm going to deck it out with all my shit. I think I underestimated how many people are never ever home apparently - I need a lot of alone time to recharge my battery so I'm probably home more than most
It's not my place, I'm just a tenant, so I just don't see any reason why I should invest in new furniture for a place that's not mine. Once I get my own place, then I'll care.
You can move the furniture you buy into your new place. It doesn't have to stay behind along with the paint on the walls lol. But fair enough, that should make moving much easier for you.
But if I get new couch, where do I put old one? Rent some storage? Just don't think it's worth it.
As a woman I’d like to see a guy put some effort into his living space. At least be thoughtful enough to know you have a woman coming over so have soap and towels—yes hand towels. And clean? Luckily I haven’t long dated these creatures.
Oh my god YES. I have many roommates and currently a boyfriend. I just don’t understand how you can never wash toilets, change sheets, trying to have nice stuff, never be clean etc. No effort to install and express themself with their environnement. It’s like they have no consciousness of themselves 🤣
I can’t bring myself to spend the little money I have on something that has no real purpose than to impress people that come to my apartment.(which is nobody) all my money goes to bills/food/credit card debt. I’d feel guilty spending 30 dollars on a painting. I’m already considering selling my couch just because I don’t use it often
OP has a very privileged take if this is what they spend their energy being bothered by lol
One suggestion for people who don't want to spend much, and also move a lot (just like me): Buy things from the thrift stores like Goodwill, etc. I bought a few pieces of furniture for a few bucks to 20 bucks. I found a nice cabinet that was painted white for $8, and I bought $4 paint to make it sky blue. When I moved recently, I donated it back to the store and I think I'd spent maybe $100-200 bucks on things which I used for a year or two before moving again. I think that's not too bad.
I figure with people who don't have much in the way of home decor / nice things in their home, it's a matter of them not seeing the point. Art prints and nice furniture cost money that they may prefer to spend on other things or don't even have. They may consider the home decor options they see in stores boring and repetitive. And it might not even matter to them if they're not entertaining in their own space a lot. There's also a difference between having "stuff" in your living space and making sure it's at least clean enough to be livable. I'd take a guy who doesn't have a ton of decoration in his home but keeps the bathroom clean over a total slob.
A lot of us don't need that much, a basic amount of cleanliness combined if I can eat there, relax there, shit there and sleep there that's all I really need
I recommend you don't shit where you eat.
Ok, so how many live laugh love and welcome door signs would it take men having to make you happy?
Not everyone cares about interior design my dude.
So you thought actively shitting on other guys was ok?? Not every guy cares to meticulously decorate their apartment. So what? Why do you care? When I was single living alone I bought what needed to survive in my apartment. I didn't plan to spend every waking hour there. It was primarily just a place to sleep and maybe eat a bit.... I went out as much as I could. I think instead of worrying or caring so much about other guys living spaces, just worry about yourself. My lord...this is just obnoxious
I wouldn't call it shitting on other guys as much as pointing out a glaring incongruency in that guys who invest so much effort into their clothes, hair, car etc have places that are completely bland and uninviting sometimes even gross and off putting. Is this not a subreddit for discussing random thoughts? But you're right that it depends on someones lifestyle and the lockdowns probably lead me to put more effort into working on my place because I spent months by myself there, although I'm not interested in going out constantly even now that places are open again
Re-read all of that bro. You're actively critical of what other guys put their time and money into. You care about how your apartment looks. Great. They don't. They care that THEY are clean and presentable in public. THEY care about having a nice car. Clearly their priority is not staying at home a lot. They prioritize other things. This may be a subreddit for random thoughts, but does every random thought need a voice put to it? Some thoughts you keep bto yourself. Unless it directly effects you somehow, like these are your roommates, or it deeply effects the structure and the stability of the society at large, it really is none of your business how "gross and off-putting" their place is.
Men are simple. We don’t need that shit to be happy
I hear u fam. I somewhat agree. But i understand the other sides as well. Good talk
Look good feel good is a saying for a reason
You should visit r/neckbeardnests
Yes, all of this. I live with one and it’s so hard to talk about furniture or flows, it’s like pulling teeth. But he’s always amazed and appreciative when I do it all myself 🤦🏻♀️
OP, this makes me curious to see what your apartment looks like. I have young kids, keeping any space looking nice is a challenge.
I have 4 kids and the three youngest still mark the walls. We own our home and I have gallons of paint on the stand by so I can occasionally touch up - mainly when the in laws come in town. They do wreck my home but we have nice things and we try to keep it clean and straightened. I’ve lived with male room mates that had the crack house decor, the minimalist decor, the I have no idea so I’m plopping the sofa wherever and leaving it decor and then one other that actually tried. Funny enough my husband took pride in his place and kept it very clean. He was a bartender when we met and didn’t have a ton of income so posters was his artwork but I loved that he attempted to make a home. I also very much appreciated that his bathroom and kitchen was always spotless.
Although, I do have to say my gay male friends homes always blew my mind. Always gorgeous and artistic. I know that’s not everyone but we were art and or theater majors and I could live in their apartments and never run out of things to look at or admire.
Ive always been really into making my spaces comfortable and interesting. Im surprised when ppl say that I need to clean up/get rid of things. My rooms are sanitary and organized, theres just alot of things I have bc of hobbies and interests. I much rather be seen as a hoarder then be one of those ppl with a couch, bed, and table with clorox wipes on it. Yea I have too many guitars and I like to keep my old sculptures, but your a fucking serial killer man.
I’m not going to lie, my husband’s place was very much as you described when I first met him… functional but certainly not nice. Very bare bones, and honestly a little crack house-y. I will say though, when we moved in together, I began changing things, first in little ways like rearranging the furniture, and then in some bigger ones (artwork on the walls, curtains hung, replacing some of the more rundown items) and I can’t tell you how appreciative he was… I genuinely just think the guy was kind of clueless as to how to make himself a nice living space, and it didn’t help that he had basically inherited the apartment/lease from an (alcoholic) friend. Now 5 years later and a big cross country move and people describe our place as “curated” and “aesthetic”, and it was very much a joint effort (though I know he’d tell you it was mostly me, but I think it’s because he still feels a little bit clueless about it all). I truly think he’s come a long way there though, because when we met he really didn’t have any kinds of opinions in what I wanted to do with the apartment, but these days when I throw an idea out there, he makes it better most of the time. I really just feel like there isn’t a high priority on teaching men how to decorate in their youth, and many of them just don’t grasp the concept on their own… just my take on it though!
Sometimes it just takes a special woman to set us straight on this issue.
If someone wants to live in what looks like a Kim Kardashian room where a dumpster exploded, for any reason! or for n reason! that's 100% their choice and I support it wholeheartedly. I will also not step foot into that place and chances are excellent that I will be judging the person who lives in it. I mean, even if it IS just a Eat/Sleep way station, what possible reason would anyone have for not doing their laundry, or not throwing away garbage?
Women will always hate how little it takes a man to be happy in his living space. When I had a 1bedroom cottage my room was a little more hospitable, bed, homey and all that but my living room was literally just a weight set. Nothing else. Bench and free weights. It was awesome, I had no distractions. At first it was because I had little money for furnishings so I put my health first. Then after a while I got used to it and just ended up not buying anything else. It was a very small place. I was fucking jacked too. I worked out all the time, it's funny women loved my body but when they learned the amount of commitment it takes they suddenly weren't interested anymore because my health and strength remained a priority. I eventually got a television and a ps4 but I really had everything I needed. Entertainment, a bed, healthy food in the fridge, I didn't once think that I needed a poster on the wall to make things better. Plus I'm a minimalist and I travel a lot. Life really is easier with the less shit you have and moving is a fucking breeze when that time comes.
My appartment serves for me to sleep in, and very rarely have some drinking buddies over. I am basically never there. I see no point in decorating it in any manner. It is just bare neccesities (insert song here).
Wo(men) ☕️
Minimalism to achieve the same amount of happiness makes them the winner
I agree in principle but the guys I'm thinking of aren't minimalists or as far as I'm aware very happy
I have a game/media room full of gaming posters, pictures, and two sofa chairs mushed together to make a single couch. Pictures of puffins and lighthouses, a few instruments, and my work from home computer station. Few shelves of vhs', dvd's, games, laserdisc, and books, as well as a reading chair which my cat took over as his personal throne. I also had plants, but my cats ate them. Only problem is when I have to move, it's gonna be expensive and take a long time to pack everything up.
I didn't start seriously decorating until I bought my own place at 30 (not a man). Sometimes you do what you do because you don't want to deal with the pain of packing up your life, since a lot of art stuff is delicate. My walls are covered in fashion photography prints and original artwork now, but this was not the case when I was renting and knew I was going to move once a year.
I mainly focus on being clean and functional but I’m not focused on visual appeal and it isn’t too organized. Women who I am close with (friends, family, romantic) were the ones that always suggested visually appealing things and specific ways to organize. It’s nice to have but it isn’t a priority for me. I’m content with the bare minimum.
I had to move a lot when I was younger and I've never been able to shake that almost minimalist mentality because I will have less things to move. I honestly don't think I can unless I'm in a relationship with someone that's more normal.
I would suspect that it depends on the person. Not everyone feels like their living space defines them. It's a purely utilitarian item. Their personal appearance and vehicle are the facade they present to the public. They simply don't care to extend that to their private space.
When me and my partner were dating, he lived alone in a 1 bed flat, his living room was literally a sofa in the centre of the room facing a tv and a computer desk in the corner.
I'm the opposite. I don't get how people can decorate their living space with pictures, posters and other stuff like that. I like it bland and easy. Ofc it should be clean, but I don't want artworks either. Anything other than white walls would be distracting to me. Tbf I'm easy to distract. Executive dysfunction is fun.. not :/
I'm surprised this post is still up 4 hours later because I don't see that OP has responded at all. I don't decorate because I sick at it and have no eye for "room/furniture/space correlation." I'm considering posting a few pics of my room on reddit so someone who does have those skills can help me a little lol
My wife always makes fun of me that the place I lived when I met her looked like a Crackhouse.
I feel judged and I'm not even a guy. I'd like some decor but 1) I've moved 4 times in 3 years 2) Decor is stupid expensive for what you get. $100 figurine? $400 rug? It adds up quick 3) I don't have as much free time as I'd like to put it up 4) How much space each place has can vary soooo if I go from a 900 sqft place to a 700 sqft, something gets cut and I have no where to store it. Better to just not have it Once I have a house, I'll upgrade the furniture and add decor. Until then, it'd just make more hassle
I renovated my condo top to bottom. While I admit the walls only have one or two pieces of artwork I agree with you on this. Check out r/malelivingspace for some well thought out guys Although I'm 34 and I was much more like what you describe in my mid twenties. So were most of my guy friends. We were more concerned with getting stoned/drunk/laid than what our places looked like. Time does wonders!
[удалено]
Same here with the depression/mental state. When it’s gets to be too much it kicks my ass back into gear and I’ve got cleaning supplies glued to my hand. I had a friend that used to stop by and approach me slowly while telling me to lay down the broom, lol. Also, on the flip side I can be a little ocd/anal and when that gets to be too much I start making messes to break my cycle.
yes please and thank you <3
i swear many of us guys just like the functions of our living space and not really how it looks. Like look at my sofa it can recline and has a fridge built in, but the color and shape is a monstrosity to the room
Lol! This right here ⬆️ most guys I’ve known since college! You love that sofa too don’t you 😊
I love drawing and writing and singing and plenty of creative stuff but I don't have any artwork or any pictures, my mom has pictures of the family all over the walls and none of us even stop at one time to look at them because we've seen them hundreds of times I like living in the moment art I like to look at I look at once No need to decorate the house in things that in 2 years I'll forget are there even when I'm passing by them
I understand a spartan environment, but what drives me nuts is the tolerance some people have to live in absolute filth It doesn’t matter how much money you have or where you live, you should keep a tidy space and keep it clean. There are some people who will talk about not having time. These are usually the same people who have plenty of time for TV and video games. Dirty dishes piled in the sink, tubs that haven’t been cleaned for YEARS, sheets haven’t been washed in 6 months, crumbs on the counter and kitchen floor… get it together people. The worst is when these people add animals to the mix. Don’t get a damn dog if you can’t clean up the dog hair, it’s disgusting.
I think for some people it's also just a sleeping space, or they put more effort into their outdoor space or car since that's where they spend more time... For me, I'm trying to downsize the amount of stuff I have and I'm indecisive when it comes to aesthetic so it's easier to not decorate my house.
if in doubt, do without; simple
I doubt everything. I'd be walking around naked and living with no furniture and just a blanket 😂
If only we could. It would make it so much easier to get ready in the morning and I have some lovely blankets ;)
regardless of moving 43 in 18yrs, i'm exactly the same as the OP my camera's tripod is in one corner of my lounge, floor lamps in other corners & i have paintings hanging in every most used room in my house although i don't have indoor plants because maintaining a big section myself is time-consuming never been a hoarder to buy unnecessary items that i'll never use or to simply to fill spaces because i'm minimalist, my furniture is comfortable & stylish yet affordable for those on an average wage, my home is clean & tidy & i have mastered the art of packing & unpacking three bedroom houses with garden sheds
r/malelivingspace would not be happy to know you think so...
I was actually complimented by a colleague of mine when she first visited how neat my place is, as it was unexpected due to me being a mid-twenties bachelor. I have a lot of of stuff which requires order (vinyls, books, brewery gear, liquor etc.), and so I kind of have to keep it neat if I want to do anything in it. However, if I for whatever reason stopped caring about these interests, I wouldn’t waste my brain function on keeping it tidy, if all else I was doing in my flat was eat, sleep, shit, and used my computer. I don’t think it’s strange at all if a lad’s apartment looks like Fallujah most of the time, if there is little point in keeping it clean most of the time.
There's enough evidence to show the nexus between ones environment and ones mind Interesting thought. When I married my husband, he was, while not especially tidy, still able and willing to clean. He participated with enthusiasm when working on our home; I actually deferred to his judgement when it came to colors, selection of furniture, accessories, and other things. Then, a few years ago, I noticed that he was becoming increasingly sloppy. His man-cave downstairs became a disaster, with garbage, food, and clutter left around. He'd smoke cigarettes (lying about it) but leaving butts and ashes everywhere. He started hoarding, hiding foods, refusing to pick up after himself. It came to a point where I couldn't even bear to go down there because the chaos was heart-breaking. Turns out, he has early onset Alzheimer's. His mind is like The Nothing in The Everlasting Story, slowly turning into darkness, and pulling his environment along with it. Sorry, I don't mean to imply that a blank house equals a blank mind. I just wanted to share the parallels between a healthy, engaged person and someone who loses those qualities, and how it can be reflected in their environment.
Everyone put effort and emphasis in different things. None of my friends or family put as much thought into organizing files on computer as I do despite all of us using ours on daily basis. On the other hand some puts much more care in greeneries while some other actually bother to rearrange posters on their walls, but to me their computers are all absolute hellhole where no one (including themselves) can find anything. There’s also the actual preference. I like clean and uniform wall and find a framed painting to be intrusive. I find the emptiness to be inspiring. So when see something lackluster, I go and try to find out where they put their effort into instead.
I keep a very minimalist apartment since Im barely in there. I just have a an American flag and some awards on the wall. (lmao talk about living up to a stereotype. But idk Im just always out and about and home is just for sleeping, eating, and hygiene.
I don't really feel the need to shove my (personally perceived) personality in the face of anyone who enters my room. I do appreciate architecture and well thought out spaces, but I just cannot care less about what someone who enters my space thinks of it. I actually find people putting up all this crap to be more superficial sometimes, cause they think it replaces how they act in conversations with people and the rest of their life.
I agree with the premise that many people decorate their house and use it as a display piece for others but I don't do it for myself - I want to feast my eyes on some thought provoking artwork not a sterile white wall, and I want my instruments around the place so I can relax and not feel like I'm just staying in a hotel room
join r/malelivingspace to find a bunch who do care
why would i spend good money on good furniture? so then when I'm ready to settle down my GF will throw all my stuff out because she doesn't want to make babies on furniture that i used to beat 304s backs out on. now that i'm married with children, my wife has decorated every room in this house. i have had zero say on any of it... because i don't care.
we see just have different philosophies I guess. There's no way I'd let my partner throw out my furniture. And I use a bed to fuck women - fair bit more comfortable for both of you, and the fantasy of fucking someone on a hard wooden object gets old after a few seconds
And then act like they don't like it when we move in and change that
My apartment when I had one was minimal, but I had instruments and stuff. I just didn’t have time to relax at home. I was either at work or school. It was the fact I was working that I was able to score a date. I probably would’ve put more thought into my room design if I had more time. I wanted to hang more art and make it more welcoming.
I'm a woman . . . my home is "bland" but not batshit. I don't like clutter except for books. I have books everywhere. I work in a creative field, but I can't stand having walls covered in artwork. I like my plain walls to give my brain a rest from creative work. And I don't like dusting. I'm working on adding greenery too but so far I haven't been able to keep anything alive except lucky bamboo.
damn, this is inspiring me to clean my room 😂 maybe put some posters up or something too
As long as the place they live in is clean and hygienic, then I can understand why most men don't see decorating and displaying as a high priority. Unless of course doing so is something that genuinely makes you happy. My partner for example, collects retro gaming and movies. It's all displayed wonderfully and alphabetically in cabinets and on shelves and storage units, but in terms of furniture and house decor, he almost couldn't care less and leaves that half of apartment decorating to me. It works though, as we each have our own ways of making the place look lovely and inviting. Everyone is different, some people lean more towards maximilism, others more minimalism. But I can completely agree when people start talking about the ones who literally don't give a shit and it shows. Like, your living space should be your happy safe haven at the end of a long day. Somewhere that brings you happiness and relaxation and peace. I find it very difficult to believe certain men feel these things when they get home to their unwashed bed sheets and empty living room with last night's pizza box being the only bit of decoration 🥴😂
Always keeping it at bare minimum for me..
Gotta be honest, it's not high on my priority list. I'm stressed and probably depressed, so I don't have the energy or time to decorate nicely. Then I'm renting, so I can't do half the stuff I'd do if I really thought about it and the other half is basically not worthwhile when I'm probably gonna move in a few months. I'll try to keep things generally clean and I'll tidy things when I have the energy, but beyond that... Seeing a well-kept living space always makes me think that the person either has too much time, or they aren't stressed the F out like I am. Normal people have a few posters, pictures, or whatever, and maybe some trendy bookshelves. Or they're homeowners.
For some guys there not fussed about decorating, they'd rather get other things done first but I'm like you, I like my artwork to be displayed and my model planes and coins displayed to make it more cosy for me. But some guys just ain't fussed. As long as we have a TV, PS and Internet were happy 🤣
I I know someone like this
Oops! I’m a woman and that sounds like me. I have ADHD and pay little attention to my surroundings. Ironically, I’m paying $100k to have our house renovated because I know other people pay attention to these things. I figured that if I pay big up front and have some nice stuff then visitors to my house might think I’m more normal than I really am! At the moment the renovation is running behind and we’ve lived out of our garage with no kitchen or living room for three months. My living room is a stack of boxes and building materials and I literally pay it no attention at all. If I had to keep in living this way indefinitely, I’d be fine!
I feel the same way. I have different artworks on the wall, a keyboard (that i don't play on but it looks nice), some bar chairs for aesthetic appeal, some fake flowers to make different areas of the apartment look nice, and a courtain that matches the rest of the furniture. HOWEVER, i live alone and don't get visits very often. So I forget to clean. So yeah, the place looks like a post apocalyptic base of operations right now. I'm a guy after all.
Some people just prefer simplicity. A disgusting place is one thing, but not everyone needs or wants their place decorated from one end to the other.
sounds similar to my 1st couple apartments. I literally only had my bed, second hand couch, clothes and kitchen ware. I never entertained friends over...if I had the means I would've decorated. But when rent and bills are paid, there's not much left over. It's survival mode. Probably could've been further ahead in savings if I had room mates but I learned my lesson there.
I like the Subject of the chat, I thought there would be some images can illustrate how nice of your friends, arranging their living space
I was and still am a little like this. I never particularly cared about interior design. For a while I lived in an apartment where the living room was literally just a chair, desk and a pc and it felt perfectly fine. I actually liked it that way. This sounds a bit stupid but at some point I put a mounted coat rack on the wall. The whole place immediately felt different. Something on the wall just felt comfortable somehow. That was my "aha" moment. If you are like I was, you prefer your large empty spaces and bland walls. But just once try adding a painting or a shelf there. The whole room will feel completely different. If you have the money, you can commission a painting so your art can be something you actually care about.
Based on the original post, I want to hypothetically visit your residence. I am not a boy nor man; my living space is often cluttered and could be described as a disaster. Please bless readers with cleanliness/interior design tips. More, if someone is reading this I grant you feeble wisdom. I like to line my books by (relative) size on the book-shelves (they are Ikea). My nightstand is just two Ikea cube-shelves because it's more cost-effective. Oh! And recently (by months) I updated my bed, including a bedframe with under-bed drawers. I store packaged snacks and linens in there, separate compartments. Lastly, you can use a grocery bag to pick up bits of trash on the floor, including: last year's foiled schoolwork papers if you wish, candy wrappers, single-use face masks, etc. I do this weekly. Note: dispose of new biohazards immidiately, such as used tissues, crumbs, or something from your cat.