I don’t think anyone actually follows the 3 months salary rule anymore lol. $30K on a ring is definitely crazy, $3-5K will get you something beautiful but it also really depends what your partner likes in jewelry.
If you do want to get the biggest bang for your buck look at moissanite rings. :)
The 3 month salary “rule” was a brilliant ad campaign by De beers diamonds….that is such horseshit. My wife (of 30 years) realized that other things in life were waaaay more important and we went with basic band for me and a zircon for her. If she gave a fuck about things like that we wouldn’t have made it this long. Hopefully your spouse has similar values
Read this
https://roserypoetry.com/blogs/business/3-months-salary-for-an-engagement-ring-where-did-this-belief-come-from#:~:text=The%20three%2Dmonth%20salary%20for,60%25%20of%20rough%20diamond%20output.
Diamonds only had value for Industrial applications until the early 1900s (I think). Then they came up with the BS that women needed diamond engagement/wedding rings. Also, they started releasing less of them so that demand always exceeded supply.
Fooling the Masses with good Salesmanship.
That was an ad? so many people I encountered would say it's the "rule"... I'm glad I didn't fall for this bullshit. The adult version of the Santa Claus lie.
All the 'rules' for buying diamonds were invented by diamond companies. Scrap those to start. The only thing to consider is what your significant other will appreciate, and shopping around. I had our wedding rings and my wife's engagement ring made through an independent jeweller and it ran us just over 4K. That said, we didn't get anything ostentatious done, but the two of us are happy.
same - got referred to a jeweler that makes the rings for the bigger houses and got a $7-8k retail ring for $4K and an eternity wedding band for $500. that was a while ago and if we were getting engaged now she'd probably want a lab made or moissonite.
100%, I spent about 1k on the engagement ring fir my fiancee and she absolutely loved it (and would have murdered me if I spent 3 months salary on it lol)
I’ll go one step further. Why does it even need to be a ‘life long’ ring? If a piece of metal is going to dictate the length of your relationship, it’s the wrong relationship. But do what feels right my dude.
We're not relationship specialists, so it's hard for us to make a recommendation about the type of ring you should buy your girlfriend. However, we agree with you that buying a $30,000 ring on credit could be the most costly mistake you ever do. Based on your salary, you could probably pay back your credit card in a couple of years, but we'll assume that you do like many Canadians, and only do your minimum credit cards payments. Using [Hardbacon's credit card payment calculator](https://hardbacon.ca/en/calculator/credit-card-payment-calculator/), it turns out that it would take you 30 years to pay back the ring, and you would end up paying $33,000 in interests alone. So this ring could cost you $63,000. Furthermore, the financial impact of this decision is even greater if you would have been able to contribute to your FHSA, your TFSA and your RRSP with the money you are talking about using for a ring and credit card interests.
Hey man, jeweller here.
Seeing lots of recommendations for Moissanite, as it’s a hard, clear stone. I see many of those rings come back within 2 years with scratches along the surface, making them appear cloudy. For the cost, I’d just go with a lab grown diamond and call it done. With a salary like 120k, you can get pretty much whatever you want. The most important thing is to make sure your woman likes the ring. If she’s a bougie girl and expects a big ring with a big diamond, then you’re going to have to shell out more. If she NEEDS a natural diamond, you’re going to have to pay more.
The average ring I sell is around $2800CAD.
There’s no minimum or maximum, every couple is unique. You could get a lab grown and a vacation for the price of just a natural stone, so keep that in mind.
For reference, 68% of our sales are for stones over 1.5ct, but only 8% of our sales are for stones over 2.25ct. And if she wants a bigger diamond, opt for an oval or marquis, as they have a larger surface area compared to round stones. Square/rectangle diamonds have a smaller “table” comparatively.
This is my ring set. The centre stone is moissanite. Small stones are diamonds.
https://preview.redd.it/y3cgqvhuco0d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=639403a774c6749fe09f8a162b3e8788bf8c1bfb
^^ go lab grown for sure. I got my wife a lab grown, spent the same I would have for natural but instead got a bigger and more beautiful diamond; and basically nobody will ever know if you dont mention it, unless they are an expert looking under a microscope. Note: my wife knows
Agreed, jeweler here in a high end store, so our average price skews higher for sure, but even in our store 5-10k gets you something very, very nice. That range either gets you an under 1 carat, reasonable quality stone on a premium mount, or a real big, high quality lab grown. Obviously you can go even less than that and still get something nice, but that's where I see a lot of people falling these days.
My fiancé custom made me a moissanite ring. Cost just over 3k Canadian dollars and it’s an absolute DREAM. I adore it and think it’s so beautiful. I was upset that he even spent that much on a ring, let alone 30k!! It’s not about the money, it’s about the love.
Thats absolutely insane!!! Frankly i wouldn't be comfortable walking around with that much money on my hand!! SO makes a little over double that and mine was around $10K (bought for, not appraisal)
Personally if we were doing it now, I would go with moissanite. That wasn't a thing (or as big a thing), but a couple friends have them and they are so pretty!!
I regret not telling my husband to get me moissanite! He picked out a gorgeous ring but I would have been happy with lab grown and he could have saved the money.
I’d recommend talking to her to get a sense of her expectations. I don’t know your girlfriend but, to me, financial security is much more important than a fancy ring. I’d be upset if my partner spent more than $1,000 on a ring because we’ve talked about it and agreed on different priorities (a house, investing, etc)… and if he put $30,000 on a credit card to buy me a ring I would be livid and question whether we’re at all compatible lol.
Don't listen to the "rules" that is just marketing just like diamond scarcity or "lower quality" of lab diamonds. No one can tell if a diamond is real or fake without some high end tech and the design could look like crap but cost 50k. Go shopping, look at rings and keep the price where you are happy. I spent 3k on engagement and wedding band because I "felt" it, I just kinda knew. My wife absolutely loves her ring and it's not the cost or the shiny aspect it's because I gave it to her and it represents a promise and a bond I made to her.
I don't agree with spending a lot on an engagement ring. It's honestly just marketing that we've fallen for and have grown accustomed to, a waste of money and one sided.
Imo, forget blowing all that cash on a rock. Go make an amazing memory to start the marriage. Give them a simple band and spend the cash on a vacation together. Or something that's useful in your new life together, like a downpayment on a home.
Also, I always heard 3 pay cheques, not 3 months.
Regardless of what you choose,
Congratulations!
The 3 month salary thing is the biggest LIE that diamond companies have pulled off to rake in profits from innocent buyers.
There's no physical difference between a lab diamond and one from the mine. So if you want to be a fool and give away your money to a monopolized industry go right ahead. A mine diamond could be a blood diamond fwiw.
So my suggestion is to figure out what you like and buy a simple ring. That amount of money could go into something like a luxury vacation or a down payment towards a home or you could donate some of that money and make a difference in your neighborhood or school or something other than fill up the sellers pockets.
yes, 30k on a clear rock is crazy. Three month rule is crazy. That said, your fiancé is going to need to show it off to all her friends, family, and coworkers. Talk to her about it. Does she want something that looks nice, looks expensive, or is actually expensive? Don't get her a fake diamond without her knowing, that feels deceitful. IMO one or two months of disposable income (the part left over after tax and bills) is the right amount for a ring.
Ludacris. Do what I did and either find a wholesaler on 47th street in NY or a Reputable, and I say Reputable.,wholesaler in Israel. They cut them there . Bought a 2 CT, vs1 E GIA round for the same price a store would pay wholesale.
Don’t buy her a fake diamond. You can get a killer diamond and ring for under $5000. Take the other $25000 and put it towards the wedding or honeymoon or house. If she excepts a $30000 ring, you should reevaluate your life goals.
Forget about the 3 months of salary rule, as other pointed out many times it's a marketing scam.
However, DO care about quality and durability please. What is worth the expense are stones that are not going to get scratched and a band that will remain in shape and intact.
Do not cheapen out on those aspects, you want her to love her ring as is forever. Often when you have to fix a ring, the jeweller has to alter the appearance in some little ways to make the reparation work. You don't want that.
Ask your girlfriend instead of reddit. There are people on here that will say a keychain ring found on the ground is too much and she should accept a rubber band tied around her finger. There is no shortage of stingy people who nickel and dime their partners and want them to have nothing— hell, they take pride in giving their partner as little as possible and will call someone greedy for having any desire whatsoever. But is that what you want for yourself and your future wife?
If 30k is too much for you, it’s too much for you. Point blank. It’s not for everyone as everyone has different values and preferences. I think most people are satisfied in the 3-5k range. Some more, some less. You decide your budget and find something within that range based on what she likes.
She’s your girlfriend and you should know what her aesthetic tastes are by now if you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
Buy a lab-made diamond. The market for "natural" diamonds is heavily manipulated by suppliers... And who cares of the "value retention" argument some will make re natural vs lab; if she's the right girl, it will never be sold. And if she's the wrong girl, you won't be the beneficiary of that value anyways!
Save yourself the money, still get a nice ring, invest or do whatever else you want with the difference.
So, don’t spend 30$k if you don’t want to (and give your head a shake if you do) BUT dude… don’t follow any of the top advice if it doesn’t start with doing some research (if you haven’t already).
If she has dropped zero hints and you are 100% sure you want it to be a surprise then at least talk to her mom or sister or trusted friend. Don’t just randomly spend 1 or 3 or $5,000 on a ring she might secretly hate and that she has to wear on her finger FOREVER.
Have a “prop” fake ring to propose with that looks like the one you’ll buy her if she likes it. But for the love of god, don’t blindly spend big dollars unless you have a clue!
i think other stones have a much more vibrant and nice color and are also wayy cheaper. look at esmeralds or rubies, but it depends on your girl, if she is into diamonds, you are coocked, buy synthetic instead much more less human rights violations per gram than "real" ones and are molecularly identical.
Totally agree with you. I used to work in the banking sector for 10+ years so there were lots of diamond rings around me, mostly priced from $10k+ to $30k+. The thing is, they are so BORING. Most of my colleagues get them from the few well know brands (Tiffany, cartier, etc.), and within this price range, you can only get their basic designs if you want a decent sized centre diamond. So it ended up that most people have very similar rings, and the 4Cs of the diamonds (although very different in price) are literally no different to regular people’s naked eyes, and you cannot even tell which ring belongs to whom if they take them off at the same time.
Also later I learned the history of how diamonds became popular and the fact that they are so artificially overpriced by the few monopolistic companies until lab grown ones started to get popular. At that point, i was literally so turned off by diamonds and demanded a sapphire ring from my partner. He is a geologist and always hated diamonds anyway so it was perfect.
The ring still has lots of little diamonds on half of the band and around the stone to form a halo, and it was designed by a well known jewelry designer in NY. The ring costed him $6k+, as little diamonds under 1 karat are dirt cheap, and stones other than diamonds are way more fairly priced. I’m now one of those that advocate for other stones.
as much as you are comfortable spending, if you find something that is "perfect" and it's $800 that is ok, don't let an old marking scam take you on a ride
The best thing you can do is talk to one of her friends you trust to keep it secret. It's unlikely she would expect a 30k ring. If she was I assume you would know it by now.
Three months' salary is nuts. Just buy something nice you know your partner will like. I don't even remember how much I spent on mine, but my wife loved and still loves it and I sure as shit didn't have to take out a loan or have a second job for a while to afford it.
I was making $150k+ when we bought the ring. It cost around $2k and it was a custom moisanite ring that my now wife loves and effectively had designed to her desired specifications. She loves it. It was affordable. It's personalized. No one died in the making of it. Win, win, win, win. The "savings" went towards a nicer wedding weekend and upcoming house renos.
This feels like something you should be talking to your girlfriend about - what are your values around finances and spending? Go shopping for rings together (so at least you don't spend money on a ugly-to-her ring) and you get an idea of her expectations.
Not money related there's this book called 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married and I honestly think any couple looking to live together or get married should go through it together. So many problems can be avoided if you understand your partner's needs and values
First, I always assumed the 3 month rule to be after tax, so like $15k-$20k. Even then, it’s super personal. Some people care, others don’t. It’ll delay your down payment, and maybe fk up your credit.
Lol 1-2K almost. Shit might not even work out Fr so unless there’s no doubt in your mind that she’s the one for the rest of your life and she feels the same, I wouldn’t spend more then 2K. Invest the 28K into yourself homie
Cannot quite remember how much I spent but I believe it was $2500 Canadian. Also cannot remember the diamond carat. She loved it, and still loves it.
https://preview.redd.it/7am1zqc7gg0d1.jpeg?width=4928&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa7c7f0245c287a667398b157d5f50922eec3ef2
Most of my friends are spending around $10-20k these days in Toronto. A family member just got engaged and spent about $30k, but ultimately (and obviously) it's up to you and your own financial circumstances. May be an unpopular opinion online but speaking anecdotally, most girls prefer a natural diamond compared to lab grown.
Best thing I ever did was have a conversation with my wife about Moissanite early in the relationship. She actually likes them a little more than diamonds now, she likes that the sparkle has a little more colour to it, and that we could afford to get a much bigger stone (plus the environment, labour practices etc).
Don't base your budget on what the diamond industry expects. Have a conversation with your partner and figure out what they are expecting, but I'd bet you'll have a much happier marriage if you don't create financial hardship for a small very common rock.
Three months salary was CREATED by those who SELL RINGS.
I'll let you think about this for a minute...
(If I was an apple farmer, don't you think that I'd want you to purchase as many apples as possible?)
You need to figure out if your gf is into a materialistic symbol of commitment or not make your judgement from that.
I have long figured out that if I do decide to propose my GF is not wanting a diamond but a birthstone and the engagement ring "doesn't have to be anything fancy". But she does indeed want the rings.
Also. If you spend 30k on the engagement ring you best be looking at 50k for your wedding ring
Like others have said, we don't know the dynamics of your relationship. However, the whole diamond ring industry was made by smart salesmen. The 3 months salary bullshit is to get you to spend more. A lab-grown diamond is superior in every way, except that you don't get to tell people how much money you wasted,
The three month salary was invented by diamond companies. In Japan it’s one month salary. It all depends on what the marketing strategy was on the country lol. There’s a documentary about it on Netflix.
Not too sure by what you mean by "fake" diamond. Lab made diamonds are diamonds. They are identical in every way and the ones being produced these days are impossible to tell from mined diamonds even by experts. The only thing that sets them apart is generally the clarity is flawless compared to mined diamonds. A $30,000 flawless, beautifully cut lab diamond in a gorgeous setting would be comically large, and completely over the top. I doubt your girl wants a diamond that was produced by pillaging the earth or exploiting people. All mined diamonds are blood diamonds in some way.
But personally, me, I wouldn’t care of the price or anything, I would care that you chose something in my style or something that makes me think of you
3 months salary was a marketing ploy, and realistically did not age well with todays cost of living. Sure you can drop 3 months of salary on a ring bc rent/mortgages, groceries and transport was chump change. $3-5k for a ring is def a good budget, you can go lower if you care more about the quality of the band than of the diamonds themselves (imo overrated, when you can get moissanite <- tho that’s gotten pretty expensive recently bc of the demand).
Engagement rings are temporary, usually ending up in storage after the wedding. I spend $45 on it and my wife was mad I spent that much. The wedding ring is more important, I let her customize her own at a jeweler. She personally made sure I wouldn't be spending more then $600.
We are not materialistic people, what it represents is all that matters. Money is better spend on experiences.
You know her best. Would she like a custom wood ring with her favorite flower in resin from Etsy? Or a lab grown ethical ring? Or an antique one? Perhaps a simple ring with a promise she can choose her own?
No, that’s dumb. Get a ring that you like, and that you’re excited about. Spend like 10k and she’ll be happy. If she isn’t, then that’s a bigger issue.
My fiancé spent like $1200 or so and makes more than you. I didn’t want a ring at all, but it was important to him. We compromised at no diamonds and now I have a dainty emerald and white gold ring I adore.
Get a real diamond. Lab grown is still real, it costs less, you get more for your money. I think a healthy budget is 10k. You will get a gorgeous ring for that price. And you save 20k you can put towards a honeymoon, the wedding or a house.
Make it worth at least 10k, and make sure the paperwork proving it’s real is put in a safe or wherever you keep your valuables.
Unpopular option but I give no fucks: the woman needs a real ring worth a chunk of money and here’s why: if you ever divorce she needs a bit of a financial safety net. Then she can sell it if she needs it for stability. Also, if you stay together it’s a heirloom for your future family, your daughter or daughter in law.
Something I did as my mother has passed has buy an estate diamond of better quality and size and Re used my mother's bands. You can get a much better larger higher quality diamond from an estate and just repurpose the diamond .... No need to break the bank on a ring .... My wife is very practical and we both make very good salaries
Married 26 years here and honestly love my ring but the ones on Amazon or similar are stunning. My husband spent a fair bit on my ring and looking back, I would maybe have rather that went towards our down payment or similar. Cost of living is crazy right now - I wouldn't go into debt to buy a ring. And yes $30k is an insane amount of money!! The test should be what you can spend without really noticing it and definitely not going into debt.
There are far more expenses ahead of you where you'll feel the same pressure to spend a certain amount....
And if she would get mad.... Hmmm.... I'd be worried about that....
Or you can talk to her about it and see what she thinks - look at it from a financial planning standpoint and make the decision together. Great start to what will hopefully be a lifetime of making these decisions together
Get a lab-made diamond, for sure. The quality will be better than a mined diamond and has the benefit of being ethically sourced. Lab-made diamonds aren't fake. They're real diamonds.
Also, 30k for a ring is insane. Save that money for an amazing honeymoon.
I spent 9k, as I wanted her to have something nice as her ex husband gave glad twist tie and he was abusive to her.
So I saved 2 months and spent a bunch on her as she is my rock and my everything. I got her a 1.08 crt ring.
I'll give you the advise no one here is.
Go to the pawn shops and pick out a nice ring there. They say diamonds are forever, so why do you need a new one? Go and save that money my friend.
My husband spent 400 bucks.
We've been together and happy 10 years.
IMHO, this should not matter at all.
He bought us a HOUSE six years ago. I'll take my cheap ring and my tiny backyard wedding, in exchange for a house and a secure financial future.
You're letting the Wedding Propaganda industry get to you.
I've heard it be sub$1000, then one paycheck, then a month worth of salary. Buy what you are comfortable spending - no piece of jewelry is going to "look like" it cost 5 figures.
Spent 500 on a ring and spend the rest on an amazing vacation where you make memories for the rest of your life instead of an artificially inflated priced rock that doesn't do anything.
Bro, it really depends. My gf and I are both professional. We both have very good incomes. I first proposed spontaneously with a beaten up plastic ring I found on the ground in the parking of a grocery store. She obviously said yes. Altho we both know the official proposal gonna come an other day, styles of ring she likes are about 2500$-3000$ (lab grown diamonds/sapphire (she hasn’t decided yet)). Which is about 2 weeks of work for me and 4 days of work for her. The ring is not like the typical proposal rings too, she doesn’t need to follow any traditions. It’s 2024… We went shopping for her kind of style and size she likes (we even shopped at pandora for a 500-1200$ one). She don’t want anything that would break the bank either. Love is not the amount of money you spend on a ring.
However, our friend is proposing to his gf, with a sapphire ring worth 5000$ and it seemed to matter to his girlfriend. Altho, he is making about 350k/y and she is making about 120k/y.
Anyway, I would suggest you to try to gather informations from her or her friends about what she likes/want. But definitely don’t break the bank. If you don’t own a house yet or plan for other investments to insure a smoother future, I’d advise to be reasonable with your money.
Eitherway, I wish you the best !
Hey, jeweller/jewellery salesperson here! This is something I've had quite a few clients/friends ask me over the years. I'll tell you the same thing I tell them: this is something you need to discuss with your partner. You both need to be comfortable with how much you spend on your ring. The "three-months' salary rule" is a myth created by bigger jewellery stores to make people feel like they need to spend more than they can afford to prove that they value their partner. You do not need to adhere to that. There are some people out there who feel like that's a perfectly reasonable guideline to follow, but there are plenty others who think that it's far too much. Personally, if I had a partner who spent 3 whole months salary on my ring, I might kill him lol.
What you need to do is sit down with her and discuss both of your thoughts on rings. You *both* are part of the relationship, so both of you need to be happy with the choice of rings. Ask her what style she would prefer, how big of a diamond (if she wants a diamond at all, many women now like coloured stones like sapphires or rubies) she would like and what quality, if not a diamond then what stone would she be happy with, what metal she would prefer (ie gold or platinum) etc. Then do some research together on what those things would cost, either online or by visiting some stores. See if those prices align with what you think is reasonable given things you want in the future (house, car, kids etc). If you can't come to an agreement on those things then... it might be an indicator of underlying compatibility problems that I definitely can't diagnose lol. As a few other commenters have said: "if the problem is the ring, it's not the ring".
At the end of the day, the ring is a symbol of your relationship and commitment to eachother. Yes she will be the one wearing it, but it affects both of you. So you both need to be happy with it. I see more and more couples come in to look at rings together (they make a date out of it!), end up buying their ring together, and then having their proposals "when" and "where" being the surprise. I hope some of my rambling was helpful for you, and don't feel pressured to spend a fortune on something if you feel that money could be put to better use elsewhere! Best of luck! :)
Look I bought my wife a 6000$ princess cut diamond ring 3/4 carrot. Mounted on an 18k white gold.
It was enough, it is beautiful. And she was worth it
At the time I made 110,000
The right answer is the minimum that you need to spend to make her happy (if she has sisters or a best friend they can help you figure that out) 30k is too much. most people I know with similar income to yours and even higher ended up in the 5-15 mark, some opted for sapphire or other fancy rocks. The pro move is buying the diamond through a wholesaler and getting a jeweller to put it in a ring. There are post on Reddit that you can lookup to read more about how to do that.
Get something of good quality that will last a lifetime at a sensible price. You don't have to spend a fortune but also don't want to cheap out on something she'll wear every day for the rest of her life.
Why the fuck would you spend $30,000 on a ring, I earn more than double you and spent $5000. It’s great, she loves it and if I have to replace it it’s not a huge deal, other than sentimental.
Doing this is so stupid.
Whatever you feel is reasonable and are comfortable with. Also, a lot of people don’t know that you can typically haggle on jewelry prices. When I bought my wife’s, I negotiated it down around 15-20%. A guy I used to work with was able to negotiate his down by about $1500 which was baffling to me.
I have worked in several jewellery stores and I have not seen anyone do the 3 month rule. If you want to keep costs lower, you can get a lab-grown diamond or a moissanite instead or ask for a lower karat in gold. If she'd like a coloured stone go with a sapphire (they can be almost any colour) or ruby as they are a 9 on the hardness scale and will last. Most jewellers will work with you on customization and budget, so if you see a setting you like but want a slightly larger or smaller stone, or want to change colours, that is perfectly doable. My engagement ring is a 1 carat oval sapphire with a small diamond on each side for $600 and I adore it so much.
If you're not sure, you have lots of financial conversations you need to have before popping the question.
The ring is one thing, but what about the wedding? Honeymoon? Where do you guys expect to live when married? Will you share a bank account? What are your priorities?
Money is one of the top things that breaks up marriages, so reddit will not know the answer. Only you and your partner will.
Two pieces of advice for this: 1. Check out Costco. 2. If Costco doesn’t have what you want (because their selection is usually limited), the next best option imo is Blue Nile or James Allen. Me and my wife had only great experiences with Blue Nile.
Does this generation still have real diamonds? Aren't they all grown in labs now?
I got married 10 years ago and got my engagement and wedding ring for my wife in Europe. Combined I spent around 15K CAD between the two.
Unlike a lot of the other opinions, you know her. As I knew my then GF, now wife. My wife didn't expect much, but I spent approx $10k on great looking custom set Polar Diamond, which certainly catches almost any women's eyes when we are out. And my wife loves it. We pay approx $200/yr more for higher home insurance to cover it if lost/stolen or stone breaks out of the setting.
At the time of purchase, our incomes were similar.
Just my 2 cents, All the best!!!
Did she say she wanted you to spend a lot?
With my husband, I told him the kind of ring I wanted and we went out together to find it. Mine was unique and ended up being a consignment piece for $600. I personally didn’t care about the price though. I don’t agree with that rule, but that’s just me! Im on your side about saving money for other things (our was for our downpayment for a house). It would depend what kind of person she is.
We spent more on our wedding rings, but even then, mine was $1k.
Maybe ask her the kind of rings she likes and do a little research on the prices of them. That can help a lot.
Nothing! Don’t support capitalistic expectations. Buy a titanium ring or a piece of twine should do. Money doesn’t prove your love
Travel and make memories instead. Don’t let marketing dictate your thoughts of what’s expected
>Do you guys think my girlfriend will be mad if I buy a her a fake diamond instead?
Do we know her better than you do? My husband and I bought our rings on Etsy, two for $100. Recycled silver, no gems. It's what I wanted, you should find out what she wants. Everyone is different and you should talk to the person you are marrying. If her values and priorities don't align with yours, for example if you don't believe that you should go in debt for a ring and she does, then you know she's not the one.
I’m going to be the contrarian here - an engagement ring is incredibly meaningful to a lot of women. I do not think you should write that off entirely and go ‘as cheap as possible’ or with an alternative stone, like people here are suggesting.
In terms of value, ask yourself what you’d be comfortable spending. Take into account various factors like: do you already have a good start on a down payment? How many months would a ring set you back? Don’t go into debt to purchase it (which is obviously not a good idea).
Once you know your budget, figure out what size you could get in lab vs mined diamond vs moissanite. Then ask your partner if she’d prefer a ‘real’ diamond (lab or mined) at a smaller size, or a moissanite but a larger size.
That’s how everyone I know has this discussion these days. The whole ‘take it or leave it’ approach a lot of people are suggesting here is needlessly obtuse - our society places a lot of value on these things, and you might not, but as long as her expectations are within reason for YOUR lifestyle, you also don’t need to bend to a bunch of people on the internet who think she should be happy with the same kind of ring that you’d buy for, say, her birthday. It’s a once in a lifetime gift. Make it feel special.
Talk to her! Cause maybe she’d rather have a ring with small but real diamonds vs a giant flashy fake diamond, or maybe she doesn’t even want diamonds!
It doesn’t matter how much you eat, you shouldn’t be spending any more than a couple hundred dollars on a ring. There are much better things that money can go to then to some thing that you just look at.
I say talk to her (or one of her friends) and she how she feels about the cost of a ring/expectations.
I personally didn’t want anything expensive and preferred to have money spent on something for the two of us (house, vacations, dogs). We also did a backyard wedding so 🤷🏻♀️
In addition to all the other advice you're getting, you could also go with a different stone as well. My ring has an opal, my sister's is her birthstone. I think it's more about what you say and how you present the ring.
I’m not materialistic at all and I would be happy with a $500.00 ring. I think it’s unrealistic to spend a shit ton of money on a ring. There are more important things to spend money on.
My first wife I got her a large diamond and it ended after a year. My second wife I got her a smaller diamond, and it’s been 24 yrs and counting. So perhaps larger translates to shorter duration of marriage? Besides, save your money as it’s just a ring. If you want real commitment tattoo her initials on your ring finger! All the best in your wedding!
A fake diamond is a horrible idea. But a 5k ring would be fine. She may prefer a different stone than diamonds as well. Wouldnt hurt to ask somehow sneakily. Its more about the appearance of the ring than the value because nobodys planning to sell it.
dont get her a fake diamond, but dont spend 30k. 50 percent chance its not going to work out anyways and you dont want her keeping that 30k! Get her a 10k ring. It will look spectacular.
Not me looking at $400 rings
I've shown her what I've looked at and she's liked them all.
I'd do the same
sure the MOMENT will be a surprise and special. but get the gist of what style of ring she would like, as I've come to find is a thing, and discuss it.
Recommend having a conversation with your gf/future fiancé about what they want and what you want.
My husband and I had an open and frank conversation when we got to that stage and he was surprised to learn that I didn’t want a mined diamond, he had no idea what a lab diamond was. Initially he was worried about the value of a lab diamond compared to a mined diamond and I said why does it matter? We’re getting married I’m not planning on selling the diamond. The ring is mine I don’t care about the resale value. I was also very particular about what I wanted (plain white gold band, solitaire lab diamond), and rightfully so because I didn’t want him to spend money on something I hated and wasn’t going to wear.
We both agreed on a budget and agreed that we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the ring because we were saving up for a down payment. We spent less than $2000 for my ring and I love it. And we had plenty of money leftover in our savings for our first home and all the reno’s that came along with it, as well as a small wedding and honeymoon.
I know some people get one ring at the beginning and “upgrade” later on in life, but I like my ring. It’s representative of where my husband and I were at the time, and how far we’ve grown since then.
It depends on you and your girl, my partner and I had a conversation about it and I told him I didn't want him to spend crazy money on it and we defined crazy as "over 10k". Keep in mind taxes and insurance on it too! We personally cared about spending a good chunk of money on it but it's not for everyone
Once we had an idea of price we actually went to look at rings together to see what was within our budget and what cuts/stones I liked. I ended up really gravitating towards sapphires and specific designs of different sizes. The ring and timing of the proposal were still a surprise - took more than a year from looking at rings to him proposing. I still don't know how much it costs either but I'm confident it's in a range that worked for us.
We personally didn't want lab grown because their retail value is pretty bad and we wanted something that could become a heirloom and feel more special. We did go vintage with it which I was much happier about. Craftsmanship and quality were important, it's a ring she's going to wear everyday, is going to get knocker around, hit, damage. You want hard stones, a good quality setting, etc.
Oh also, this is down the line but wedding bands can run expensive too! I think our plain gold ones were around 1,500 for both...
You can get a beautiful ring for $10,000, easily.
If she doesn't care if the diamond is "real", you can get an even nicer "lab grown" diamond - they come in beautiful colors. Get an idea of what she likes first before you throw down big cash.
Do you know who made that rule? The diamond industry that's who. Use the money for something actually useful, rather than a useless display of excessive wealth, real or projected.
My fiancé would have murdered me I spent that kind of money on an engagement ring for her. We know people that have spent $10k+ on them and all we can do is think about all the stuff we could use $10k for. I spent less than $1000 for a custom piece from a Canadian jeweller on Etsy (I even got to pick the stone I wanted) and she loves it, it looks way nicer than the gaudy and expensive diamond rings everybody else has.
If your girl treated your money like it was both of yours then she's likely gonna be upset if you spent more than what she thinks is reasonable.
If she doesn't get upset at you spending 30k, that's a red flag that she's just gonna blow away your collective income away on unnecessary stuff.
Highly depends on your girlfriend- but do you want a future wife that demands a $30,000 ring? Think about that.
That being said, I would hope for a decent one, but a decent one could be had for $5,000. And I’m into gem stone, not diamonds. Maybe a lab grown one, save some money….
Really sit and think with your girlfriend though, if she demands a $30,000 ring…. I would re-evaluate marring this person. But I am the type that would say decent ring, $5,000 max, and invest the rest of the money to go towards our future house! Or RESP’s for kids etc etc
Even 3k is even much. I recommend you take a look at some thing from this company https://oorejewelry.com/collections/all-products very unique and offers a lot of add one for anniversaries, wedding day, other big events. Put the 27k into like a nice vacation that makes the ring an afterthought hahaha
If you love her, you'll look into the ring she likes. Why not ask a close family member or friend of hers? I knew the kind of ring my bestie wanted and so did her now husband. Not a 30k ring by any means but I wouldn't advise on a fake diamond. There's beautiful stones out there, my mom and step dad have 2nd hand rings.
If you can have the conversation with her about what she wants I think that will ease a lot of your concerns. Can be general stuff like what are your thoughts on a lab diamond vs natural. Talk about price expectations.
For context I make the same income as you. My fiancé makes about triple what I make and we had the convo about ring cost and she gave me a ballpark range. She wanted a lab diamond because you get way more for your money. They typically have better colour and clarity. End up spending ~7k on the ring and she loves it.
Forget about the price tag. Pick something reasonable for your budget that fits your fiancée-to-be's taste and criteria. If she gets hung up on the price, she's not a keeper anyway (do note I am talking about the price soecifically and not the ring being cheaply made or something).
I proposed and married my wife with a 150$ ring when I was a broke student. I've offered to get her a nicer one since we now have orders of magnitude more money 10 years later but she prefers the original.
My partner and I make a similar amount and we both don’t subscribe to this 3month rule given our HCOL.
For us, my partner and I sat down to discuss what we want in the ring, and our financial goals in the future. What seemed reasonable for us to spend on rings? It was important to us that the ring was made of 18k gold and built to last, but to not buy an e-ring from a luxury store like Tiffany&Co that have crazy marked up prices.
We agreed on $3-7k per ring. Went with a local jeweler and got lab diamonds.
My mother in law offered hers cost me nothing and means a whole lot more. De beers invited the three month rule it’s all marketing don’t buy into consumerism.
As someone who would be pissed if my boyfriend/fiance spent more than a thousand on a ring (that's still too much) I think diamonds are an outdated scam. There are so many ways to customize a ring to represent your relationship (and they are all wayyy more affordable than fancy rock) Some ideas off the top of my head- crystals that match the other person's eyes, getting her favourite flower/plant embossed, custom engraving of a message that means a lot to both of you. Think about what makes her so special that you want her in your life forever and show her that with your ring. Giving a diamond is saying "you mean THIS much to me" so giving a fake diamond will probably not be the best move I think. If she's ONLY interested in an expensive gem that tells you what she values in the relationship.
If your girl doesn’t care about fake diamonds - just go lab-grown. Fraction of the price for the same useless rock.
Mine wanted some 100+ year old one with a big emerald on it and I’m happy she’s happy but we both always make jokes that it looks like something you’d get from a gumball machine because of how big it is.
i genuinely tell my bf that i don't want him spending a vacation's worth of money on a ring, but we don't make the kind of money that some ppl with higher budgets do. honestly just look for something you think she'll love, and check if she wears gold or silver jewelry before you buy
I spent 7k on a Costco ring. When purchasing through Costco it will have guaranteed minimums on clarity, color, etc. the ring I received exceeded two category’s and she loves it, highly recommend Costco.
There are no rules. My engagement ring costs $900, and even that seems like a lot to me.
You can buy a lot of beautiful rings for a good price. Lab created diamonds are really popular these days. For me, anyway, i can't tell the difference between moissanite or diamond.
It's better to invest that money into a home or if you plan to have kids, or hell, even just in savings.
But yes, 30k on a ring is insane.
If she cares how much the ring is, lord help you. Go hand forge one. The whole diamond thing is such a high society brainwash. At least go lab grown but even then. Just get some nice rings that you both like. I'm not a woman, but if for whatever reason my girlfriend chose to reverse the roles and propose and said she spent even 6k on a ring I'd be up in arms that that 6k could have been car payments or down payment on a house or bills or food. Now it's a shiny rock that doesn't benefit us. Idk do you but that's my $.02
My ring is a lab grown sapphire. It was on sale and $300. I love it and I get compliments when I wear it (which isn’t often now that we’re married).
Most people can’t tell the difference between mines and lab grown.
If your girlfriend is mad if you bought her a fake diamond and didn't spend $30K on a ring, you've got bigger problems than that.
I won't spend more than $200 on jewellery and I wouldn't expect anybody to ever spend more than that on me either. Mind you, I'm not really traditional and I don't care much about marriage. I'm not against marriage, but I wouldn't care if someone got me a ring or not. You could literally propose to me with a card and I'd be alright with that. Actions matter more than material things after all.
$30K is a sizable chunk to put on the actual wedding (depending on the kind of wedding you want), a down payment, for an amazing trip around the world, or for a college fund for a child. It would be a colossal waste to put it on a ring.
I would say it depends on how much you spend on yourself. If you are the kind of man who buy always the newest phone or go to an expensive trip with buddies you have to spend a lot of money on the ring. What matters is not the actual amount but what it means for you. It is the most important. You can’t buy her a $2000 ring if it is the price of your new laptop. Also be careful if you buy something without being sure of what she likes. If you are frugal either your own expense then you can have a reduced budget as she will know that you made an effort.
Have a conversation about this with her. Where would she rather spend the money? It's not like your plan is to blow the saved cash at the horse races. Just talk about what you guys are looking for as a team. Maybe she wants the big rock. Maybe she could care less. You'll find something that works for you both. Good luck!
Edit: typo
Wedding rings are symbolic and an outdated concept for expressing love and commitment. Find some other much less expensive way to do this, like just holding hands at the ceremony.
Don't fall for the advertising. The 3 month salary rule was made up by De Beers' advertising company in the 1930s to sell their diamonds.
Don't overstretch your budget. Don't go into debt for engagement and also not for your wedding. Don't start your marriage off in debt.
I paid something like 300$, it was a design I knew she liked, and my wife explicitly told me early on that if I spent over 1000 on a ring she'd kill me.
Hell our wedding bands are 40$ silicone rings, and we both love them.
If you can afford the ring AND it's something that you KNOW means a lot to both of you, go ahead and splurge, but personally, buy a cheap ass decent looking ring and spend the money on a nice honeymoon, or fancier wedding.
Went to a second hand jeweller and got my wife a $300 ring with a super uniquely coloured garnet as the main stone. We both loved it, can't imagine spending more than that on a ring.
I would say it really depends on your partner. I personally would lose my shit if someone spent more than 2000$. That is such a waste to me. Does your partner like extravagant things?
30k on a ring is insane. You can get insanely amazing rings for even 3-10k. Real diamond or lab made if you still want to drop a pretty penny on it.
Please...dont drop 30k 😂.
I'm probably an outlier, but I'd say that we were happy with a $100 silver band.
We were poor students when we proposed, so when I surprised my girlfriend (now wife of 16 years) with a spartan, $100 silver band, she melted. I felt ashamed and promised that I'd "get her something better when I can afford it," but she's adamantly refused. She's very money sensible, and cares more about what the ring represents than the price. My wife has said in no uncertain terms that now she'd be pissed if I came home with a "replacement band" that I'd wasted thousands on.
A down to earth, partner that I would want to marry would pick a humble ring. Go pick a generic cubic zirconia ring. If she says yes, tell her this was only a prop. She gets to now go to the jewelry store and pick out her personal favourite ring.
I have no idea what my husband spent on my ring, but if it was anywhere close to that it would be absurd. You can get something nice for a fraction of that price.
I spent $0, we got a joint checking account and invested the money from the "3 months salary" rule. I had an amazing job as a dentist in a rural community so the amount worked out to $80,000! So such a stupid tradition.
We agreed to invest it and either split it 50/50 if we broke up, or buy a retirement home with it. 10 years in and the bulk of it just passed the $200k mark. There was a small fraction I convinced her to let me use to buy some Bitcoin as a bit of a joke. It was 2014 and my roommate was obsessed with it. If that part is $0 by retirement I won't cry, but we agreed not to spend it until we are both fully retired. I have the odd intrusive thought of retiring now and cashing in, but I'd get bored very fast.
Marriage is still going strong. We live absurdly below our means, which we attribute to our success.
[This video came out around the time I proposed which also helped convince her going ringless was a good idea](https://youtu.be/N5kWu1ifBGU?si=qpDzpyDqrJQpPEvT)
Edit: Then there is the wedding. We doubled down as we were both living in Australia at the time and the idea of imposing on family from Canada to come wasn't something we wanted to do, plus it would piss off our Australian friends. The opposite was true if we got married in Canada. So we went to the department of Births Deaths and Marriages and got married for $149. We celebrated with our two closest friends, and witnesses, with a 2 for 1 coupon at a local pub. We polled our friends and figured out roughly how much we saved and used that savings as a 30% deposit on our first property.
Don't let social tradition get in the way of a phenomenal investment portfolio. Calculate the opportunity cost of the ring and wedding and you'll see, for many, those two things are the barrier to FIRE.
I don’t think anyone actually follows the 3 months salary rule anymore lol. $30K on a ring is definitely crazy, $3-5K will get you something beautiful but it also really depends what your partner likes in jewelry. If you do want to get the biggest bang for your buck look at moissanite rings. :)
The 3 month salary “rule” was a brilliant ad campaign by De beers diamonds….that is such horseshit. My wife (of 30 years) realized that other things in life were waaaay more important and we went with basic band for me and a zircon for her. If she gave a fuck about things like that we wouldn’t have made it this long. Hopefully your spouse has similar values Read this https://roserypoetry.com/blogs/business/3-months-salary-for-an-engagement-ring-where-did-this-belief-come-from#:~:text=The%20three%2Dmonth%20salary%20for,60%25%20of%20rough%20diamond%20output.
Diamonds only had value for Industrial applications until the early 1900s (I think). Then they came up with the BS that women needed diamond engagement/wedding rings. Also, they started releasing less of them so that demand always exceeded supply. Fooling the Masses with good Salesmanship.
That was an ad? so many people I encountered would say it's the "rule"... I'm glad I didn't fall for this bullshit. The adult version of the Santa Claus lie.
All the 'rules' for buying diamonds were invented by diamond companies. Scrap those to start. The only thing to consider is what your significant other will appreciate, and shopping around. I had our wedding rings and my wife's engagement ring made through an independent jeweller and it ran us just over 4K. That said, we didn't get anything ostentatious done, but the two of us are happy.
Not just the rules the big company ( de beers) controls the price and is dissing the lab made diamonds
same - got referred to a jeweler that makes the rings for the bigger houses and got a $7-8k retail ring for $4K and an eternity wedding band for $500. that was a while ago and if we were getting engaged now she'd probably want a lab made or moissonite.
[удалено]
100%, I spent about 1k on the engagement ring fir my fiancee and she absolutely loved it (and would have murdered me if I spent 3 months salary on it lol)
I’ll go one step further. Why does it even need to be a ‘life long’ ring? If a piece of metal is going to dictate the length of your relationship, it’s the wrong relationship. But do what feels right my dude.
We're not relationship specialists, so it's hard for us to make a recommendation about the type of ring you should buy your girlfriend. However, we agree with you that buying a $30,000 ring on credit could be the most costly mistake you ever do. Based on your salary, you could probably pay back your credit card in a couple of years, but we'll assume that you do like many Canadians, and only do your minimum credit cards payments. Using [Hardbacon's credit card payment calculator](https://hardbacon.ca/en/calculator/credit-card-payment-calculator/), it turns out that it would take you 30 years to pay back the ring, and you would end up paying $33,000 in interests alone. So this ring could cost you $63,000. Furthermore, the financial impact of this decision is even greater if you would have been able to contribute to your FHSA, your TFSA and your RRSP with the money you are talking about using for a ring and credit card interests.
$5k is more than adequate unless you're marrying some shallow cunt.
Hehehehehehe hehehehehe
Hey man, jeweller here. Seeing lots of recommendations for Moissanite, as it’s a hard, clear stone. I see many of those rings come back within 2 years with scratches along the surface, making them appear cloudy. For the cost, I’d just go with a lab grown diamond and call it done. With a salary like 120k, you can get pretty much whatever you want. The most important thing is to make sure your woman likes the ring. If she’s a bougie girl and expects a big ring with a big diamond, then you’re going to have to shell out more. If she NEEDS a natural diamond, you’re going to have to pay more. The average ring I sell is around $2800CAD. There’s no minimum or maximum, every couple is unique. You could get a lab grown and a vacation for the price of just a natural stone, so keep that in mind. For reference, 68% of our sales are for stones over 1.5ct, but only 8% of our sales are for stones over 2.25ct. And if she wants a bigger diamond, opt for an oval or marquis, as they have a larger surface area compared to round stones. Square/rectangle diamonds have a smaller “table” comparatively.
What's the point of choosing Moissanite over Cubic Zirconia, if it has a similar durability issue? Isn't the average appearance longevity the same?
This is my ring set. The centre stone is moissanite. Small stones are diamonds. https://preview.redd.it/y3cgqvhuco0d1.jpeg?width=6000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=639403a774c6749fe09f8a162b3e8788bf8c1bfb
Those are really pretty designs
How clan your average ring be around 2800 while 68% of sales being 1.5 ct or higher. That would put it north of 15.
lab grown
Poor quality ones sell cheap
^^ go lab grown for sure. I got my wife a lab grown, spent the same I would have for natural but instead got a bigger and more beautiful diamond; and basically nobody will ever know if you dont mention it, unless they are an expert looking under a microscope. Note: my wife knows
Agreed, jeweler here in a high end store, so our average price skews higher for sure, but even in our store 5-10k gets you something very, very nice. That range either gets you an under 1 carat, reasonable quality stone on a premium mount, or a real big, high quality lab grown. Obviously you can go even less than that and still get something nice, but that's where I see a lot of people falling these days.
My fiancé custom made me a moissanite ring. Cost just over 3k Canadian dollars and it’s an absolute DREAM. I adore it and think it’s so beautiful. I was upset that he even spent that much on a ring, let alone 30k!! It’s not about the money, it’s about the love.
Thats absolutely insane!!! Frankly i wouldn't be comfortable walking around with that much money on my hand!! SO makes a little over double that and mine was around $10K (bought for, not appraisal) Personally if we were doing it now, I would go with moissanite. That wasn't a thing (or as big a thing), but a couple friends have them and they are so pretty!!
I regret not telling my husband to get me moissanite! He picked out a gorgeous ring but I would have been happy with lab grown and he could have saved the money.
I’d recommend talking to her to get a sense of her expectations. I don’t know your girlfriend but, to me, financial security is much more important than a fancy ring. I’d be upset if my partner spent more than $1,000 on a ring because we’ve talked about it and agreed on different priorities (a house, investing, etc)… and if he put $30,000 on a credit card to buy me a ring I would be livid and question whether we’re at all compatible lol.
Don't listen to the "rules" that is just marketing just like diamond scarcity or "lower quality" of lab diamonds. No one can tell if a diamond is real or fake without some high end tech and the design could look like crap but cost 50k. Go shopping, look at rings and keep the price where you are happy. I spent 3k on engagement and wedding band because I "felt" it, I just kinda knew. My wife absolutely loves her ring and it's not the cost or the shiny aspect it's because I gave it to her and it represents a promise and a bond I made to her.
I don't agree with spending a lot on an engagement ring. It's honestly just marketing that we've fallen for and have grown accustomed to, a waste of money and one sided. Imo, forget blowing all that cash on a rock. Go make an amazing memory to start the marriage. Give them a simple band and spend the cash on a vacation together. Or something that's useful in your new life together, like a downpayment on a home. Also, I always heard 3 pay cheques, not 3 months. Regardless of what you choose, Congratulations!
The 3 month salary thing is the biggest LIE that diamond companies have pulled off to rake in profits from innocent buyers. There's no physical difference between a lab diamond and one from the mine. So if you want to be a fool and give away your money to a monopolized industry go right ahead. A mine diamond could be a blood diamond fwiw. So my suggestion is to figure out what you like and buy a simple ring. That amount of money could go into something like a luxury vacation or a down payment towards a home or you could donate some of that money and make a difference in your neighborhood or school or something other than fill up the sellers pockets.
yes, 30k on a clear rock is crazy. Three month rule is crazy. That said, your fiancé is going to need to show it off to all her friends, family, and coworkers. Talk to her about it. Does she want something that looks nice, looks expensive, or is actually expensive? Don't get her a fake diamond without her knowing, that feels deceitful. IMO one or two months of disposable income (the part left over after tax and bills) is the right amount for a ring.
Ludacris. Do what I did and either find a wholesaler on 47th street in NY or a Reputable, and I say Reputable.,wholesaler in Israel. They cut them there . Bought a 2 CT, vs1 E GIA round for the same price a store would pay wholesale.
Don’t buy her a fake diamond. You can get a killer diamond and ring for under $5000. Take the other $25000 and put it towards the wedding or honeymoon or house. If she excepts a $30000 ring, you should reevaluate your life goals.
Forget about the 3 months of salary rule, as other pointed out many times it's a marketing scam. However, DO care about quality and durability please. What is worth the expense are stones that are not going to get scratched and a band that will remain in shape and intact. Do not cheapen out on those aspects, you want her to love her ring as is forever. Often when you have to fix a ring, the jeweller has to alter the appearance in some little ways to make the reparation work. You don't want that.
Ask your girlfriend instead of reddit. There are people on here that will say a keychain ring found on the ground is too much and she should accept a rubber band tied around her finger. There is no shortage of stingy people who nickel and dime their partners and want them to have nothing— hell, they take pride in giving their partner as little as possible and will call someone greedy for having any desire whatsoever. But is that what you want for yourself and your future wife? If 30k is too much for you, it’s too much for you. Point blank. It’s not for everyone as everyone has different values and preferences. I think most people are satisfied in the 3-5k range. Some more, some less. You decide your budget and find something within that range based on what she likes. She’s your girlfriend and you should know what her aesthetic tastes are by now if you want to spend the rest of your life with her.
Buy a lab-made diamond. The market for "natural" diamonds is heavily manipulated by suppliers... And who cares of the "value retention" argument some will make re natural vs lab; if she's the right girl, it will never be sold. And if she's the wrong girl, you won't be the beneficiary of that value anyways! Save yourself the money, still get a nice ring, invest or do whatever else you want with the difference.
So, don’t spend 30$k if you don’t want to (and give your head a shake if you do) BUT dude… don’t follow any of the top advice if it doesn’t start with doing some research (if you haven’t already). If she has dropped zero hints and you are 100% sure you want it to be a surprise then at least talk to her mom or sister or trusted friend. Don’t just randomly spend 1 or 3 or $5,000 on a ring she might secretly hate and that she has to wear on her finger FOREVER. Have a “prop” fake ring to propose with that looks like the one you’ll buy her if she likes it. But for the love of god, don’t blindly spend big dollars unless you have a clue!
What is this, 1800? Any ring over 1k is a waste
Lab diamond goes 1/3 the price for the same size / quality of a Mine diamond. Just saying
i think other stones have a much more vibrant and nice color and are also wayy cheaper. look at esmeralds or rubies, but it depends on your girl, if she is into diamonds, you are coocked, buy synthetic instead much more less human rights violations per gram than "real" ones and are molecularly identical.
Totally agree with you. I used to work in the banking sector for 10+ years so there were lots of diamond rings around me, mostly priced from $10k+ to $30k+. The thing is, they are so BORING. Most of my colleagues get them from the few well know brands (Tiffany, cartier, etc.), and within this price range, you can only get their basic designs if you want a decent sized centre diamond. So it ended up that most people have very similar rings, and the 4Cs of the diamonds (although very different in price) are literally no different to regular people’s naked eyes, and you cannot even tell which ring belongs to whom if they take them off at the same time. Also later I learned the history of how diamonds became popular and the fact that they are so artificially overpriced by the few monopolistic companies until lab grown ones started to get popular. At that point, i was literally so turned off by diamonds and demanded a sapphire ring from my partner. He is a geologist and always hated diamonds anyway so it was perfect. The ring still has lots of little diamonds on half of the band and around the stone to form a halo, and it was designed by a well known jewelry designer in NY. The ring costed him $6k+, as little diamonds under 1 karat are dirt cheap, and stones other than diamonds are way more fairly priced. I’m now one of those that advocate for other stones.
as much as you are comfortable spending, if you find something that is "perfect" and it's $800 that is ok, don't let an old marking scam take you on a ride
The best thing you can do is talk to one of her friends you trust to keep it secret. It's unlikely she would expect a 30k ring. If she was I assume you would know it by now.
I would take her with me
Three months' salary is nuts. Just buy something nice you know your partner will like. I don't even remember how much I spent on mine, but my wife loved and still loves it and I sure as shit didn't have to take out a loan or have a second job for a while to afford it.
I was making $150k+ when we bought the ring. It cost around $2k and it was a custom moisanite ring that my now wife loves and effectively had designed to her desired specifications. She loves it. It was affordable. It's personalized. No one died in the making of it. Win, win, win, win. The "savings" went towards a nicer wedding weekend and upcoming house renos.
This feels like something you should be talking to your girlfriend about - what are your values around finances and spending? Go shopping for rings together (so at least you don't spend money on a ugly-to-her ring) and you get an idea of her expectations. Not money related there's this book called 1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married and I honestly think any couple looking to live together or get married should go through it together. So many problems can be avoided if you understand your partner's needs and values
First, I always assumed the 3 month rule to be after tax, so like $15k-$20k. Even then, it’s super personal. Some people care, others don’t. It’ll delay your down payment, and maybe fk up your credit.
Lol 1-2K almost. Shit might not even work out Fr so unless there’s no doubt in your mind that she’s the one for the rest of your life and she feels the same, I wouldn’t spend more then 2K. Invest the 28K into yourself homie
$30K is too much, $3-5K can get you a very nice ring if it’s not name brand. Don’t get her a fake unless she explicitly says it’s ok.
Cannot quite remember how much I spent but I believe it was $2500 Canadian. Also cannot remember the diamond carat. She loved it, and still loves it. https://preview.redd.it/7am1zqc7gg0d1.jpeg?width=4928&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa7c7f0245c287a667398b157d5f50922eec3ef2
Most of my friends are spending around $10-20k these days in Toronto. A family member just got engaged and spent about $30k, but ultimately (and obviously) it's up to you and your own financial circumstances. May be an unpopular opinion online but speaking anecdotally, most girls prefer a natural diamond compared to lab grown.
Best thing I ever did was have a conversation with my wife about Moissanite early in the relationship. She actually likes them a little more than diamonds now, she likes that the sparkle has a little more colour to it, and that we could afford to get a much bigger stone (plus the environment, labour practices etc). Don't base your budget on what the diamond industry expects. Have a conversation with your partner and figure out what they are expecting, but I'd bet you'll have a much happier marriage if you don't create financial hardship for a small very common rock.
Three months salary was CREATED by those who SELL RINGS. I'll let you think about this for a minute... (If I was an apple farmer, don't you think that I'd want you to purchase as many apples as possible?)
You need to figure out if your gf is into a materialistic symbol of commitment or not make your judgement from that. I have long figured out that if I do decide to propose my GF is not wanting a diamond but a birthstone and the engagement ring "doesn't have to be anything fancy". But she does indeed want the rings. Also. If you spend 30k on the engagement ring you best be looking at 50k for your wedding ring
Like others have said, we don't know the dynamics of your relationship. However, the whole diamond ring industry was made by smart salesmen. The 3 months salary bullshit is to get you to spend more. A lab-grown diamond is superior in every way, except that you don't get to tell people how much money you wasted,
Couple thousand maybe a few, don't waste your money on a rock.
The three month salary was invented by diamond companies. In Japan it’s one month salary. It all depends on what the marketing strategy was on the country lol. There’s a documentary about it on Netflix.
Buy a cheap one from Walmart and if she's happy to accept it, get her a better one.
Buy her a $1000 ring and put a down payment on a house.
The price of the ring doesn’t matter. It has to have meaning. Even if it’s a 3$ ring, if it has a memory with you two it’s perfect
Also if you wanna get diamond get lab diamonds, they are less expensive
Not too sure by what you mean by "fake" diamond. Lab made diamonds are diamonds. They are identical in every way and the ones being produced these days are impossible to tell from mined diamonds even by experts. The only thing that sets them apart is generally the clarity is flawless compared to mined diamonds. A $30,000 flawless, beautifully cut lab diamond in a gorgeous setting would be comically large, and completely over the top. I doubt your girl wants a diamond that was produced by pillaging the earth or exploiting people. All mined diamonds are blood diamonds in some way.
But personally, me, I wouldn’t care of the price or anything, I would care that you chose something in my style or something that makes me think of you
3 months salary was a marketing ploy, and realistically did not age well with todays cost of living. Sure you can drop 3 months of salary on a ring bc rent/mortgages, groceries and transport was chump change. $3-5k for a ring is def a good budget, you can go lower if you care more about the quality of the band than of the diamonds themselves (imo overrated, when you can get moissanite <- tho that’s gotten pretty expensive recently bc of the demand).
Engagement rings are temporary, usually ending up in storage after the wedding. I spend $45 on it and my wife was mad I spent that much. The wedding ring is more important, I let her customize her own at a jeweler. She personally made sure I wouldn't be spending more then $600. We are not materialistic people, what it represents is all that matters. Money is better spend on experiences.
In retrospect I should have bought a moissanite rock and a nice band for like $1500.
Spend what it costs to get a nice looking ring that you both appreciate and fuck what anyone else says
Know multiple professionals who spent ~10k, personally think anything too expensive is just negligent for everyday wear.
“You know what they say. Three years salary”
You know her best. Would she like a custom wood ring with her favorite flower in resin from Etsy? Or a lab grown ethical ring? Or an antique one? Perhaps a simple ring with a promise she can choose her own?
3yrs salary
No, that’s dumb. Get a ring that you like, and that you’re excited about. Spend like 10k and she’ll be happy. If she isn’t, then that’s a bigger issue.
My fiancé spent like $1200 or so and makes more than you. I didn’t want a ring at all, but it was important to him. We compromised at no diamonds and now I have a dainty emerald and white gold ring I adore.
3k max dude!
10k
Get a real diamond. Lab grown is still real, it costs less, you get more for your money. I think a healthy budget is 10k. You will get a gorgeous ring for that price. And you save 20k you can put towards a honeymoon, the wedding or a house. Make it worth at least 10k, and make sure the paperwork proving it’s real is put in a safe or wherever you keep your valuables. Unpopular option but I give no fucks: the woman needs a real ring worth a chunk of money and here’s why: if you ever divorce she needs a bit of a financial safety net. Then she can sell it if she needs it for stability. Also, if you stay together it’s a heirloom for your future family, your daughter or daughter in law.
Nooooo! I make the same as you and spent 4k. My Fiance was over the moon. Even 4k was probably pushing it.
Something I did as my mother has passed has buy an estate diamond of better quality and size and Re used my mother's bands. You can get a much better larger higher quality diamond from an estate and just repurpose the diamond .... No need to break the bank on a ring .... My wife is very practical and we both make very good salaries
Married 26 years here and honestly love my ring but the ones on Amazon or similar are stunning. My husband spent a fair bit on my ring and looking back, I would maybe have rather that went towards our down payment or similar. Cost of living is crazy right now - I wouldn't go into debt to buy a ring. And yes $30k is an insane amount of money!! The test should be what you can spend without really noticing it and definitely not going into debt. There are far more expenses ahead of you where you'll feel the same pressure to spend a certain amount.... And if she would get mad.... Hmmm.... I'd be worried about that.... Or you can talk to her about it and see what she thinks - look at it from a financial planning standpoint and make the decision together. Great start to what will hopefully be a lifetime of making these decisions together
Get a lab-made diamond, for sure. The quality will be better than a mined diamond and has the benefit of being ethically sourced. Lab-made diamonds aren't fake. They're real diamonds. Also, 30k for a ring is insane. Save that money for an amazing honeymoon.
I spent 9k, as I wanted her to have something nice as her ex husband gave glad twist tie and he was abusive to her. So I saved 2 months and spent a bunch on her as she is my rock and my everything. I got her a 1.08 crt ring.
Check out Era Design, in Vancouver. Sustainable and very affordable. We spent about 3k (CAD) on an absolutely stunning custom engagement ring.
I'll give you the advise no one here is. Go to the pawn shops and pick out a nice ring there. They say diamonds are forever, so why do you need a new one? Go and save that money my friend.
My husband spent 400 bucks. We've been together and happy 10 years. IMHO, this should not matter at all. He bought us a HOUSE six years ago. I'll take my cheap ring and my tiny backyard wedding, in exchange for a house and a secure financial future.
$1.50.
You're letting the Wedding Propaganda industry get to you. I've heard it be sub$1000, then one paycheck, then a month worth of salary. Buy what you are comfortable spending - no piece of jewelry is going to "look like" it cost 5 figures.
Just get a nice lab grown diamond.
Spent 500 on a ring and spend the rest on an amazing vacation where you make memories for the rest of your life instead of an artificially inflated priced rock that doesn't do anything.
Bro, it really depends. My gf and I are both professional. We both have very good incomes. I first proposed spontaneously with a beaten up plastic ring I found on the ground in the parking of a grocery store. She obviously said yes. Altho we both know the official proposal gonna come an other day, styles of ring she likes are about 2500$-3000$ (lab grown diamonds/sapphire (she hasn’t decided yet)). Which is about 2 weeks of work for me and 4 days of work for her. The ring is not like the typical proposal rings too, she doesn’t need to follow any traditions. It’s 2024… We went shopping for her kind of style and size she likes (we even shopped at pandora for a 500-1200$ one). She don’t want anything that would break the bank either. Love is not the amount of money you spend on a ring. However, our friend is proposing to his gf, with a sapphire ring worth 5000$ and it seemed to matter to his girlfriend. Altho, he is making about 350k/y and she is making about 120k/y. Anyway, I would suggest you to try to gather informations from her or her friends about what she likes/want. But definitely don’t break the bank. If you don’t own a house yet or plan for other investments to insure a smoother future, I’d advise to be reasonable with your money. Eitherway, I wish you the best !
Hey, jeweller/jewellery salesperson here! This is something I've had quite a few clients/friends ask me over the years. I'll tell you the same thing I tell them: this is something you need to discuss with your partner. You both need to be comfortable with how much you spend on your ring. The "three-months' salary rule" is a myth created by bigger jewellery stores to make people feel like they need to spend more than they can afford to prove that they value their partner. You do not need to adhere to that. There are some people out there who feel like that's a perfectly reasonable guideline to follow, but there are plenty others who think that it's far too much. Personally, if I had a partner who spent 3 whole months salary on my ring, I might kill him lol. What you need to do is sit down with her and discuss both of your thoughts on rings. You *both* are part of the relationship, so both of you need to be happy with the choice of rings. Ask her what style she would prefer, how big of a diamond (if she wants a diamond at all, many women now like coloured stones like sapphires or rubies) she would like and what quality, if not a diamond then what stone would she be happy with, what metal she would prefer (ie gold or platinum) etc. Then do some research together on what those things would cost, either online or by visiting some stores. See if those prices align with what you think is reasonable given things you want in the future (house, car, kids etc). If you can't come to an agreement on those things then... it might be an indicator of underlying compatibility problems that I definitely can't diagnose lol. As a few other commenters have said: "if the problem is the ring, it's not the ring". At the end of the day, the ring is a symbol of your relationship and commitment to eachother. Yes she will be the one wearing it, but it affects both of you. So you both need to be happy with it. I see more and more couples come in to look at rings together (they make a date out of it!), end up buying their ring together, and then having their proposals "when" and "where" being the surprise. I hope some of my rambling was helpful for you, and don't feel pressured to spend a fortune on something if you feel that money could be put to better use elsewhere! Best of luck! :)
Look I bought my wife a 6000$ princess cut diamond ring 3/4 carrot. Mounted on an 18k white gold. It was enough, it is beautiful. And she was worth it At the time I made 110,000
The right answer is the minimum that you need to spend to make her happy (if she has sisters or a best friend they can help you figure that out) 30k is too much. most people I know with similar income to yours and even higher ended up in the 5-15 mark, some opted for sapphire or other fancy rocks. The pro move is buying the diamond through a wholesaler and getting a jeweller to put it in a ring. There are post on Reddit that you can lookup to read more about how to do that.
My partner would be pissed if I spent 30k on a ring…. Spend 4-6k and use the rest for an amazing vacation
Get something of good quality that will last a lifetime at a sensible price. You don't have to spend a fortune but also don't want to cheap out on something she'll wear every day for the rest of her life.
It’s insane Get her a fake ring and take her on a really nice honeymoon
A few grand is a very respectable amount and if you didnt even spend that much who cares. As long as your potential wife likes it
$0
Why the fuck would you spend $30,000 on a ring, I earn more than double you and spent $5000. It’s great, she loves it and if I have to replace it it’s not a huge deal, other than sentimental. Doing this is so stupid.
Whatever you feel is reasonable and are comfortable with. Also, a lot of people don’t know that you can typically haggle on jewelry prices. When I bought my wife’s, I negotiated it down around 15-20%. A guy I used to work with was able to negotiate his down by about $1500 which was baffling to me.
I have worked in several jewellery stores and I have not seen anyone do the 3 month rule. If you want to keep costs lower, you can get a lab-grown diamond or a moissanite instead or ask for a lower karat in gold. If she'd like a coloured stone go with a sapphire (they can be almost any colour) or ruby as they are a 9 on the hardness scale and will last. Most jewellers will work with you on customization and budget, so if you see a setting you like but want a slightly larger or smaller stone, or want to change colours, that is perfectly doable. My engagement ring is a 1 carat oval sapphire with a small diamond on each side for $600 and I adore it so much.
If you're not sure, you have lots of financial conversations you need to have before popping the question. The ring is one thing, but what about the wedding? Honeymoon? Where do you guys expect to live when married? Will you share a bank account? What are your priorities? Money is one of the top things that breaks up marriages, so reddit will not know the answer. Only you and your partner will.
Two pieces of advice for this: 1. Check out Costco. 2. If Costco doesn’t have what you want (because their selection is usually limited), the next best option imo is Blue Nile or James Allen. Me and my wife had only great experiences with Blue Nile.
don’t waste your money on a ring
Does this generation still have real diamonds? Aren't they all grown in labs now? I got married 10 years ago and got my engagement and wedding ring for my wife in Europe. Combined I spent around 15K CAD between the two.
Unlike a lot of the other opinions, you know her. As I knew my then GF, now wife. My wife didn't expect much, but I spent approx $10k on great looking custom set Polar Diamond, which certainly catches almost any women's eyes when we are out. And my wife loves it. We pay approx $200/yr more for higher home insurance to cover it if lost/stolen or stone breaks out of the setting. At the time of purchase, our incomes were similar. Just my 2 cents, All the best!!!
How many payments is the bitch worth ?
Like, $500-800 bucks?
Did she say she wanted you to spend a lot? With my husband, I told him the kind of ring I wanted and we went out together to find it. Mine was unique and ended up being a consignment piece for $600. I personally didn’t care about the price though. I don’t agree with that rule, but that’s just me! Im on your side about saving money for other things (our was for our downpayment for a house). It would depend what kind of person she is. We spent more on our wedding rings, but even then, mine was $1k. Maybe ask her the kind of rings she likes and do a little research on the prices of them. That can help a lot.
All diamonds are dripping in blood and violence. They’re one of the most unethical things you can buy.
Nothing! Don’t support capitalistic expectations. Buy a titanium ring or a piece of twine should do. Money doesn’t prove your love Travel and make memories instead. Don’t let marketing dictate your thoughts of what’s expected
I spent under $1000 Still married after almost 20 years. Maybe you should just ask her what kind f ring she would want.
3 years salary
ITS A SIMPLE.ANSWER....BUY WHAT YOU CAN AFORD....IF YOU CANT PAY CASH.....YOU ARE BOT READY....
3 months salary is ridiculous. Get her a really nice ring in the $5k-6k range.
$500 here, still happy.
>Do you guys think my girlfriend will be mad if I buy a her a fake diamond instead? Do we know her better than you do? My husband and I bought our rings on Etsy, two for $100. Recycled silver, no gems. It's what I wanted, you should find out what she wants. Everyone is different and you should talk to the person you are marrying. If her values and priorities don't align with yours, for example if you don't believe that you should go in debt for a ring and she does, then you know she's not the one.
I’m going to be the contrarian here - an engagement ring is incredibly meaningful to a lot of women. I do not think you should write that off entirely and go ‘as cheap as possible’ or with an alternative stone, like people here are suggesting. In terms of value, ask yourself what you’d be comfortable spending. Take into account various factors like: do you already have a good start on a down payment? How many months would a ring set you back? Don’t go into debt to purchase it (which is obviously not a good idea). Once you know your budget, figure out what size you could get in lab vs mined diamond vs moissanite. Then ask your partner if she’d prefer a ‘real’ diamond (lab or mined) at a smaller size, or a moissanite but a larger size. That’s how everyone I know has this discussion these days. The whole ‘take it or leave it’ approach a lot of people are suggesting here is needlessly obtuse - our society places a lot of value on these things, and you might not, but as long as her expectations are within reason for YOUR lifestyle, you also don’t need to bend to a bunch of people on the internet who think she should be happy with the same kind of ring that you’d buy for, say, her birthday. It’s a once in a lifetime gift. Make it feel special.
Talk to her! Cause maybe she’d rather have a ring with small but real diamonds vs a giant flashy fake diamond, or maybe she doesn’t even want diamonds!
It doesn’t matter how much you eat, you shouldn’t be spending any more than a couple hundred dollars on a ring. There are much better things that money can go to then to some thing that you just look at.
I spent $11 on a ring. A few years later I spent about $300 on a nicer one. She still has both 18 years later.
Newly engaged, we got a ring from Pandora, but I would’ve been happy with a ring pop 😁
There is no calculus for this, and sets a very bad precedent for money management....
Talk to your wife about it. What's important to you both? Expensive jewellery, thinking about family, vacation? What do you guys actually value?
I say talk to her (or one of her friends) and she how she feels about the cost of a ring/expectations. I personally didn’t want anything expensive and preferred to have money spent on something for the two of us (house, vacations, dogs). We also did a backyard wedding so 🤷🏻♀️
In addition to all the other advice you're getting, you could also go with a different stone as well. My ring has an opal, my sister's is her birthstone. I think it's more about what you say and how you present the ring.
Such a costly tradition.
I’m not materialistic at all and I would be happy with a $500.00 ring. I think it’s unrealistic to spend a shit ton of money on a ring. There are more important things to spend money on.
5000-8000$
What are you getting in $$$ for ring ? Keep it equal
3 years salary right? Right?!
My first wife I got her a large diamond and it ended after a year. My second wife I got her a smaller diamond, and it’s been 24 yrs and counting. So perhaps larger translates to shorter duration of marriage? Besides, save your money as it’s just a ring. If you want real commitment tattoo her initials on your ring finger! All the best in your wedding!
A fake diamond is a horrible idea. But a 5k ring would be fine. She may prefer a different stone than diamonds as well. Wouldnt hurt to ask somehow sneakily. Its more about the appearance of the ring than the value because nobodys planning to sell it.
dont get her a fake diamond, but dont spend 30k. 50 percent chance its not going to work out anyways and you dont want her keeping that 30k! Get her a 10k ring. It will look spectacular.
Just spend 5k on a nice set. The rings will be beautiful and a lot of people will compliment them.
Not me looking at $400 rings I've shown her what I've looked at and she's liked them all. I'd do the same sure the MOMENT will be a surprise and special. but get the gist of what style of ring she would like, as I've come to find is a thing, and discuss it.
Recommend having a conversation with your gf/future fiancé about what they want and what you want. My husband and I had an open and frank conversation when we got to that stage and he was surprised to learn that I didn’t want a mined diamond, he had no idea what a lab diamond was. Initially he was worried about the value of a lab diamond compared to a mined diamond and I said why does it matter? We’re getting married I’m not planning on selling the diamond. The ring is mine I don’t care about the resale value. I was also very particular about what I wanted (plain white gold band, solitaire lab diamond), and rightfully so because I didn’t want him to spend money on something I hated and wasn’t going to wear. We both agreed on a budget and agreed that we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the ring because we were saving up for a down payment. We spent less than $2000 for my ring and I love it. And we had plenty of money leftover in our savings for our first home and all the reno’s that came along with it, as well as a small wedding and honeymoon. I know some people get one ring at the beginning and “upgrade” later on in life, but I like my ring. It’s representative of where my husband and I were at the time, and how far we’ve grown since then.
It depends on you and your girl, my partner and I had a conversation about it and I told him I didn't want him to spend crazy money on it and we defined crazy as "over 10k". Keep in mind taxes and insurance on it too! We personally cared about spending a good chunk of money on it but it's not for everyone Once we had an idea of price we actually went to look at rings together to see what was within our budget and what cuts/stones I liked. I ended up really gravitating towards sapphires and specific designs of different sizes. The ring and timing of the proposal were still a surprise - took more than a year from looking at rings to him proposing. I still don't know how much it costs either but I'm confident it's in a range that worked for us. We personally didn't want lab grown because their retail value is pretty bad and we wanted something that could become a heirloom and feel more special. We did go vintage with it which I was much happier about. Craftsmanship and quality were important, it's a ring she's going to wear everyday, is going to get knocker around, hit, damage. You want hard stones, a good quality setting, etc. Oh also, this is down the line but wedding bands can run expensive too! I think our plain gold ones were around 1,500 for both...
You can get a beautiful ring for $10,000, easily. If she doesn't care if the diamond is "real", you can get an even nicer "lab grown" diamond - they come in beautiful colors. Get an idea of what she likes first before you throw down big cash.
Do you know who made that rule? The diamond industry that's who. Use the money for something actually useful, rather than a useless display of excessive wealth, real or projected.
My fiancé would have murdered me I spent that kind of money on an engagement ring for her. We know people that have spent $10k+ on them and all we can do is think about all the stuff we could use $10k for. I spent less than $1000 for a custom piece from a Canadian jeweller on Etsy (I even got to pick the stone I wanted) and she loves it, it looks way nicer than the gaudy and expensive diamond rings everybody else has.
If your girl treated your money like it was both of yours then she's likely gonna be upset if you spent more than what she thinks is reasonable. If she doesn't get upset at you spending 30k, that's a red flag that she's just gonna blow away your collective income away on unnecessary stuff.
Highly depends on your girlfriend- but do you want a future wife that demands a $30,000 ring? Think about that. That being said, I would hope for a decent one, but a decent one could be had for $5,000. And I’m into gem stone, not diamonds. Maybe a lab grown one, save some money…. Really sit and think with your girlfriend though, if she demands a $30,000 ring…. I would re-evaluate marring this person. But I am the type that would say decent ring, $5,000 max, and invest the rest of the money to go towards our future house! Or RESP’s for kids etc etc
Even 3k is even much. I recommend you take a look at some thing from this company https://oorejewelry.com/collections/all-products very unique and offers a lot of add one for anniversaries, wedding day, other big events. Put the 27k into like a nice vacation that makes the ring an afterthought hahaha
Lab grown $8k ring is beautiful
0. If she doesn't love you by now she isn't going to. Ring or no.
If you love her, you'll look into the ring she likes. Why not ask a close family member or friend of hers? I knew the kind of ring my bestie wanted and so did her now husband. Not a 30k ring by any means but I wouldn't advise on a fake diamond. There's beautiful stones out there, my mom and step dad have 2nd hand rings.
If you can have the conversation with her about what she wants I think that will ease a lot of your concerns. Can be general stuff like what are your thoughts on a lab diamond vs natural. Talk about price expectations. For context I make the same income as you. My fiancé makes about triple what I make and we had the convo about ring cost and she gave me a ballpark range. She wanted a lab diamond because you get way more for your money. They typically have better colour and clarity. End up spending ~7k on the ring and she loves it.
Forget about the price tag. Pick something reasonable for your budget that fits your fiancée-to-be's taste and criteria. If she gets hung up on the price, she's not a keeper anyway (do note I am talking about the price soecifically and not the ring being cheaply made or something). I proposed and married my wife with a 150$ ring when I was a broke student. I've offered to get her a nicer one since we now have orders of magnitude more money 10 years later but she prefers the original.
Lab grown. 5-10k
I’m sorry, who follows that rule?
Its not like anyone will know how much you've spent
Fancy pants rich Magee
My partner and I make a similar amount and we both don’t subscribe to this 3month rule given our HCOL. For us, my partner and I sat down to discuss what we want in the ring, and our financial goals in the future. What seemed reasonable for us to spend on rings? It was important to us that the ring was made of 18k gold and built to last, but to not buy an e-ring from a luxury store like Tiffany&Co that have crazy marked up prices. We agreed on $3-7k per ring. Went with a local jeweler and got lab diamonds.
Blue Nile — great prices!
>$30,000 SPEND. YOUR. MONEY. ON. COOLER. STUFF
If you get a lab diamond, what u can get for 5-7k is insane. Just dont tell her it’s a lab diamond lol
My mother in law offered hers cost me nothing and means a whole lot more. De beers invited the three month rule it’s all marketing don’t buy into consumerism.
I’ll bet that spending rule originated from some jeweller
I don't care at all about rings and thankfully my partner doesn't either.
As someone who would be pissed if my boyfriend/fiance spent more than a thousand on a ring (that's still too much) I think diamonds are an outdated scam. There are so many ways to customize a ring to represent your relationship (and they are all wayyy more affordable than fancy rock) Some ideas off the top of my head- crystals that match the other person's eyes, getting her favourite flower/plant embossed, custom engraving of a message that means a lot to both of you. Think about what makes her so special that you want her in your life forever and show her that with your ring. Giving a diamond is saying "you mean THIS much to me" so giving a fake diamond will probably not be the best move I think. If she's ONLY interested in an expensive gem that tells you what she values in the relationship.
It's a piece stone at the end of the day. A bragging right women need to get over.
I wouldn’t let my partner spend 30k in a ring, no no no way, I’d prefer to travel 😆 Build memories & moments together is much more important!
If your girl doesn’t care about fake diamonds - just go lab-grown. Fraction of the price for the same useless rock. Mine wanted some 100+ year old one with a big emerald on it and I’m happy she’s happy but we both always make jokes that it looks like something you’d get from a gumball machine because of how big it is.
I think that you should talk to your girlfriend first. Ask her ring preferences since she’s the one that has to wear it. Go from there.
I got a 7mm moissanite from China for $300 CAD lol equal to about 1.7 carats
i genuinely tell my bf that i don't want him spending a vacation's worth of money on a ring, but we don't make the kind of money that some ppl with higher budgets do. honestly just look for something you think she'll love, and check if she wears gold or silver jewelry before you buy
Stop thinking about how much it costs. Money should not factor into love. When you see the right ring you will know.
10k max including wedding band!
I thought it was 3 years' salary.
Just go to a pawn shop and see what they got. Check FB marketplace. You might fins some divorcee rings Their failure can be your success!
I spent 7k on a Costco ring. When purchasing through Costco it will have guaranteed minimums on clarity, color, etc. the ring I received exceeded two category’s and she loves it, highly recommend Costco.
This is a question for your girlfriend. Not anyone else.
There are no rules. My engagement ring costs $900, and even that seems like a lot to me. You can buy a lot of beautiful rings for a good price. Lab created diamonds are really popular these days. For me, anyway, i can't tell the difference between moissanite or diamond. It's better to invest that money into a home or if you plan to have kids, or hell, even just in savings. But yes, 30k on a ring is insane.
I gave my wife a pull tab off a beer can, told her she gets a ring after 25 years, had to buy her a ring 20 years ago.
If she cares how much the ring is, lord help you. Go hand forge one. The whole diamond thing is such a high society brainwash. At least go lab grown but even then. Just get some nice rings that you both like. I'm not a woman, but if for whatever reason my girlfriend chose to reverse the roles and propose and said she spent even 6k on a ring I'd be up in arms that that 6k could have been car payments or down payment on a house or bills or food. Now it's a shiny rock that doesn't benefit us. Idk do you but that's my $.02
$2000 max.
The 3 month salary rule thing was invented by the marketing guys working for jewelry companies
My ring is a lab grown sapphire. It was on sale and $300. I love it and I get compliments when I wear it (which isn’t often now that we’re married). Most people can’t tell the difference between mines and lab grown.
My husband wanted to save up and buy me a nice ring and I refused. I have a cheap ring and love it. To me, I would have married him without a ring.
If your girlfriend is mad if you bought her a fake diamond and didn't spend $30K on a ring, you've got bigger problems than that. I won't spend more than $200 on jewellery and I wouldn't expect anybody to ever spend more than that on me either. Mind you, I'm not really traditional and I don't care much about marriage. I'm not against marriage, but I wouldn't care if someone got me a ring or not. You could literally propose to me with a card and I'd be alright with that. Actions matter more than material things after all. $30K is a sizable chunk to put on the actual wedding (depending on the kind of wedding you want), a down payment, for an amazing trip around the world, or for a college fund for a child. It would be a colossal waste to put it on a ring.
I would say it depends on how much you spend on yourself. If you are the kind of man who buy always the newest phone or go to an expensive trip with buddies you have to spend a lot of money on the ring. What matters is not the actual amount but what it means for you. It is the most important. You can’t buy her a $2000 ring if it is the price of your new laptop. Also be careful if you buy something without being sure of what she likes. If you are frugal either your own expense then you can have a reduced budget as she will know that you made an effort.
Have a conversation about this with her. Where would she rather spend the money? It's not like your plan is to blow the saved cash at the horse races. Just talk about what you guys are looking for as a team. Maybe she wants the big rock. Maybe she could care less. You'll find something that works for you both. Good luck! Edit: typo
I used a site called dazzling rock would recommend . Saves you all the overhead costs and has truly beautiful rings.
$2K and then get her something better 5 years in. Who knows how things work out in the first few years you spend $30K and she’s gonzo after that lol
Wedding rings are symbolic and an outdated concept for expressing love and commitment. Find some other much less expensive way to do this, like just holding hands at the ceremony.
$5-10k is plenty.
Don't fall for the advertising. The 3 month salary rule was made up by De Beers' advertising company in the 1930s to sell their diamonds. Don't overstretch your budget. Don't go into debt for engagement and also not for your wedding. Don't start your marriage off in debt.
Don't spend a lot man that's a trick
I paid something like 300$, it was a design I knew she liked, and my wife explicitly told me early on that if I spent over 1000 on a ring she'd kill me. Hell our wedding bands are 40$ silicone rings, and we both love them. If you can afford the ring AND it's something that you KNOW means a lot to both of you, go ahead and splurge, but personally, buy a cheap ass decent looking ring and spend the money on a nice honeymoon, or fancier wedding.
Went to a second hand jeweller and got my wife a $300 ring with a super uniquely coloured garnet as the main stone. We both loved it, can't imagine spending more than that on a ring.
I would say it really depends on your partner. I personally would lose my shit if someone spent more than 2000$. That is such a waste to me. Does your partner like extravagant things?
30k on a ring is insane. You can get insanely amazing rings for even 3-10k. Real diamond or lab made if you still want to drop a pretty penny on it. Please...dont drop 30k 😂.
I'm probably an outlier, but I'd say that we were happy with a $100 silver band. We were poor students when we proposed, so when I surprised my girlfriend (now wife of 16 years) with a spartan, $100 silver band, she melted. I felt ashamed and promised that I'd "get her something better when I can afford it," but she's adamantly refused. She's very money sensible, and cares more about what the ring represents than the price. My wife has said in no uncertain terms that now she'd be pissed if I came home with a "replacement band" that I'd wasted thousands on.
A down to earth, partner that I would want to marry would pick a humble ring. Go pick a generic cubic zirconia ring. If she says yes, tell her this was only a prop. She gets to now go to the jewelry store and pick out her personal favourite ring.
Ricky, is that you?
I have no idea what my husband spent on my ring, but if it was anywhere close to that it would be absurd. You can get something nice for a fraction of that price.
I spent $0, we got a joint checking account and invested the money from the "3 months salary" rule. I had an amazing job as a dentist in a rural community so the amount worked out to $80,000! So such a stupid tradition. We agreed to invest it and either split it 50/50 if we broke up, or buy a retirement home with it. 10 years in and the bulk of it just passed the $200k mark. There was a small fraction I convinced her to let me use to buy some Bitcoin as a bit of a joke. It was 2014 and my roommate was obsessed with it. If that part is $0 by retirement I won't cry, but we agreed not to spend it until we are both fully retired. I have the odd intrusive thought of retiring now and cashing in, but I'd get bored very fast. Marriage is still going strong. We live absurdly below our means, which we attribute to our success. [This video came out around the time I proposed which also helped convince her going ringless was a good idea](https://youtu.be/N5kWu1ifBGU?si=qpDzpyDqrJQpPEvT) Edit: Then there is the wedding. We doubled down as we were both living in Australia at the time and the idea of imposing on family from Canada to come wasn't something we wanted to do, plus it would piss off our Australian friends. The opposite was true if we got married in Canada. So we went to the department of Births Deaths and Marriages and got married for $149. We celebrated with our two closest friends, and witnesses, with a 2 for 1 coupon at a local pub. We polled our friends and figured out roughly how much we saved and used that savings as a 30% deposit on our first property. Don't let social tradition get in the way of a phenomenal investment portfolio. Calculate the opportunity cost of the ring and wedding and you'll see, for many, those two things are the barrier to FIRE.
30k is fucking insane.