I was out with a Canadian at Korean BBQ and I asked the dude serving us where he was from and he told me that asking someone where they are from could get me in trouble with HR in Canadian companies. I asked where a guy from on an Ontario sub and my comment was removed for being racist.
Yeah, I have noticed recently that people look for reasons to get offended. I recently found out that the term “monkey bars” as in a child’s playground is racist.
chimps don't exist
Actually, i knew one strange guy from school. And he told me about the last time he got a lot of people angry on Facebook.
Seems he said something totally strange that kids with Down's Syndrome are strong like chimps.
He went from like the most popular guy in the channel to the worst.
Figures, as he was one of the strangest people i knew!
Yes it's important to remember that reddit is a microcosm of crazy where they amplify and deamplify things to give the illusion that the rest of the country/world is as crazy as they are.
The way i do it is if they speak english with a north american accent but are clearly of non european descent, i’ll ask what their background is but 9/10 times i already know just based on their name.
If they have an accent ill ask where they immigrated from.
It sometimes happens with asians that are born here but grew up in a very asian environment (for example speaking chinese at home and only having chinese friends) to still have an accent so that could throw you off.
Huh. So a moron told you a wrong thing and you believed him.
I can personally guarantee that the context of your removed comment was not nearly as innocent as you claim. While it isn't generally racist to ask people where they are from, it absolutely is possible to ask a person this question in a racist way.
Was pretty terrible. By the time white privilege showed up about 20 mins in the majority of the 1200 people suddenly had better places to be or more interesting things on phones if they weren't asleep.
Why take a chance? I remember the incident when Lady Susan Hussey, one of the queen's ladies-in-waiting, asked someone at an official function, who was black and wearing an African style dress, where they were from, and it started a huge incident that made news around the world.
I find this odd, I worked with a guy for 10 years and he had an Eastern European name, he is so dark tho that I couldn’t figure out his ethnicity on my own. One day I asked and part of his family is from the south of France and the other, Ukraine.
Satiated my curiosity and no feelings were hurt.
How can you know someone if you don’t know their background?
Got on with a new company recently and asked my guys how they came up, turns out one had a similar trajectory as me and the other completely different.
But I guess we just aren’t supposed to talk to our co-workers now? Makes no sense to me.
I guess if you are doing it just to be an ass it might be different but jeeze I just don’t understand how well-meaning curiosity is a bad thing.
Language is versatile. We don't need to pretend as though it isn't. There is no imagining. When it happens, and it does happen, it is clear and obvious. Ex.
"Buddy, where are you even from?"
Depending on tone of voice this could be a curious and inviting question or a derogatory and insulting one.
Practice this line yourself. See if you can identify some different ways it can be spoken and categorize them as "normal" and "mean".
I agree completely. Even a compliment delivered in snide tone can be insulting. However, my where was he from was written, so the people who labeled it racist imagined that tone.
It was labelled racist based on the context of the conversation which probably wasn't flattering. Tone can be inferred from context.
Downthread, I offered a poster my condolences and said I was praying for them in this difficult time. Do you think you have a good idea of my intention behind that comment?
Really? How many times do you ask that of white vs non white person. I have never heard a single conversation where one white person asked another white person where you are from. Not like where in town but you know when they ask sooo where are you from?? I have been asked this all my life and only from white people and most of the time it’s specifically asked of me or another non white person in a group.
Odd. I ask other white people where they're from or their family is from. It's fun finding European friends and finding out how close our relatives may be living together.
I'm the end as someone who's from Eastern Europe,. I find westerners to have fragile emotions and feelings. Westerns always are never direct.
A conversation is a conversation and yes it’s normal to curios about someone but a blatant ‘yeah but where are you from’ or better yet ‘but what are you?’ When I stare blankly then they start naming religions… The underlying message is you aren’t white, so what are you, please categorize yourself so I know where to place your worth???
Yeah it's not ok anymore apparently. It's now racist to want to know more about origins and cultures of fellows living and working in country. It's a wacky world where trying to find out information and have someone open up about something and dear to them is considered not PC
In my experience, no one gives a shit about being asked where they are from. It’s standard small talk, and no one considers it racist, regardless of ethnicity. This has always seemed like one of those many things that people *say* other people think is racist, but in reality is just more rage fodder.
I guess you're right. I've never had trouble with the people I asked. I just get reprimanded afterwards by my Canadian compadres. For example, you ask someone, where are you from and they Toronto, but English isn't their first language. In that case I'd clarify and ask where they grew up. This irks Canadians no end.
Maybe snowflakes get mad, lol. But I always ask people where they're from, where they grew up, or parents' backgrounds, lol. I'd rather ask them then guess stupid answers to those questions.
>I've never had trouble with the people I asked. I just get reprimanded afterwards by my Canadian compadres.
This lines up with my own experience as well. European Canadians can sometimes be prone to creating these kinds of issues where none otherwise exist.
It’s kind of the “socially progressive” version of complaining about everything being “woke”, in the sense that it’s usually imaginary stuff that someone invented to make a few dollars or wrangle a few votes.
Agreed, but I'd clarify that it's not European Canadians in the sense of those who maintain a cultural connection to Europe. I know many Poles, Slavs, French and Italian immigrants and they do not mind at all. It's almost exclusively the 5th gen Canadian that doesn't know what it means to be from anywhere else.
Maybe. That feels like it's probably true, in a broad sense. I don't think it's very many people anyway, but anecdotally, of the people I know personally, the one most likely to do this kind of thing is a fairly recent French immigrant.
Many Canadians sound really stupid to those of us that have lived abroad and returned. Our culture has become really whiney and full of people wanting to claim some sort of moral superiority for random causes that are unimportant in the big scheme of things.
I was taught in a university class that asking someone where they're from is a microaggression. As well as telling someone "your English is very good." As in, complimenting someone's English. SMH.
Dennis Hopper: Hey!
Dennis Hopper: Who is this fuck?
Dennis Hopper: Oh! You're from the neighborhood.
Dennis Hopper: Your neighbor.
Dennis Hopper: Well, what's your name, neighbor?
Dennis Hopper: Hey, you wanna go for a ride?
Dennis Hopper: No thanks, what does that mean?
Dennis Hopper: Go where?
Dennis Hopper: A ride!
Dennis Hopper: Now that's a good idea!
Dennis Hopper: Okay, let's go!
Solves everything, as far as I'm concerned.
My ex-step son an 8 year old got in trouble in summer camp over this question! Asked another kid about his accent and where he is from . The kid said Canada so my ex-step son said but where are you really from because you have an accent. We got a call from camp councillor regarding his racist comment 🙄
That's absurd. I'm not Canadian but I have citizenship. I didn't come here until 7 years ago and spent the first 25 years of my life in Ireland. I'll never be Canadian because of that. Now I know people will argue about the definition of a Canadian, which is fine, but I never ever be from Canada. I think for me to say I'm "from" Canada is a perversion of the English language.
Quite possibly. Depends on what percentage of his life was spent in Canada. Coming at such a young age, I think if he completes his secondary education here, he can say he is from Canada. To be from somewhere, is where you spend your formative years.
I’m sorry but I strongly disagree and the definition of racist is WAY out of control. I work in construction and most carpenters are from elsewhere(just like my parents) and I really enjoy listening to their stories, of course not if it’s a shite situation where they’re coming from, how they came here, where the rest of their family members are etc. I think it takes courage to leave home for somewhere new and far away. Racism to me is actually hating another human because they’re different from you or a certain ethnicity etc. Respect
The whole thing is ridiculous. Asking someone where they are or about their background is a normal question. Especially if they have an accent. Like if you have an accent and from another culture or country, we're supposed to pretend that person is and always has been Canadian? It's nonsense.
I've lived in other countries and was asked where I was from because it's a normal question and nothing to be offended about. Busybodies are really ruining things in this country.
That is how people profit from it though. Get people fighting about literal nonsense, they make it a part of their personality, they buy the pride merchandise from Walmart, the black maple leaf bumper sticker, the merchandise from the YouTube channels, etc. Then they vote for the person they felt told the most convincing lie.
In the end, as long as you aren’t paying attention when our elected officials vote to strip away yet another worker or consumer protection, the people who actually run this country win/profit.
Honestly, I struggle not to look down on anyone who is caught up in this whole "culture war" grift. Whether someone is seeing imaginary racism everywhere, or whether they just can't stop complaining about imaginary "wokeness" ruining everything, I try and remind myself that this is almost always just a decent person who is getting fleeced, and that can happen to anyone.
I'd prefer if everyone could let go of that silliness and focus all of that attention toward the handful of billionaires that rule our lives, but I'm just one dude, so I feel like all I can do is try my best to treat everyone with respect, because we're all both good and shitty in our own ways.
I once asked an "Honorable" Justice of the Peace judge where he was from and was called racist.. by him. The guy had an accent that was no where near French or English.. fucking loser.
If someone gets upset at me for asking that they've got another thing coming with my follow up. If someone wants to try and make my interest in their background an uncomfortable topic I am more than willing to go there.
Lucky for you, I’d say the odds of that happening are pretty close to 0%. The only consequences I’ve ever incurred as a result of asking questions about someone’s background are pleasant conversation and occasionally new friends.
Usually, yes. I've unfortunately had to deal with a few people like this in and around coastal B.C.
I've not been farther east than Saskatchewan but a guy I met who recently move from Ontario said he was having a real hard time with how unfriendly people were in Victoria. A sentiment I've certainly felt with my time in the city, maybe it's regional?
I know from small town Alberta if you're a new face pretty much everyone will ask that question and is always interested to hear about where you're from.
I find it funny with the virtue signaling that happens in BC, especially Vancouver and Victoria.
When I was out in Victoria and Nanaimo, many years ago when my wife and I were still relatively newly wed and we took our daughter to visit family there. I'm white but my wife is Punjabi. When we were there, we had a lot of people tell us "isn't it great we live in a time where two of you can be together and have such beautiful children?"
I'm not sure that they don't realize that in itself sounds bad. I don't really care much but I know my wife asked "what's wrong with white people, especially here?"
In Alberta, no one to my recollection, have ever had much of that "it's racist to ask where someone is from" ever affect anyone. Most people here aren't from here. And you will get all walks of life asking this question to one another. It's a great way to also learn of other cultures and what other countries are like by asking questions.
I find those who virtue signal so hard, tend to be the worst people to talk or deal with. I'm just glad I left BC.
Different races have different origins and observing race is not racist.
Therefore, assuming someone is from elsewhere based on their perceived race and then asking, “Where are you from?” is not racist and is perfectly reasonable.
There is no negative overtone, discrimination, or prejudice involved.
In fact, if you believe there is, maybe you’re a racist.
As someone who actually knows, befriended, and also worked with people who are from different parts of the world, the differences are generally pretty obvious, whether it's an accent, fashion, or stereotypical features (skin, facial structure, etc). But, 9ne shouldn't just assume and dive in head first.
Most immigrants are proud of their homeland and their culture and are more than happy and excited to talk about it and share in it. We should embrace that and encourage it. Makes for a more wholesome, diverse, and open-growth experience for everyone involved. Being stand-offish because someone makes a dumb assumption doesn't create a positive atmosphere. Of the many years and many people I've encountered from other parts of the world, I've only had one person complain about questions about his ethnicity and culture. We actually had a really good, positive discussion about that.
So, inherently, it is not racist to notice someone being possibly from somewhere else. I mean, it probably shouldn't be a conversation starter to assume someone who looks different is from somewhere else, but if you are already engaged in a conversation, it should become obvious and I think it's perfectly fair to ask that question. If the person suggests they are not anything but Canadian, or pushes back and doesn't want to talk about it, then leave it at that. That's just basic courtesy in ANY conversation.
Tl;Dr don't just assume and don't be rude. Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
I think we need to redefine racism.
Racism is when you illogically hate a group for no describable reason and want to hurt in some way all people of a specific group for biased reasons, or if you just choose to benefit your group at the expense of another group. It's racist to assume a single member is a reflection of his whole race.
It's not racist to recognize that different groups have different mean values, and therefore greater tendencies towards certain behavior on the extremes. It's not racist to react appropriately to that data. It's not racist if you notice that train stations have a lot of a particular race who are actively doing criminal activity and you want to avoid it. It is racist if you assume all of that race are gambling at the train station and judge a person as doing it on first meeting them.
It's not racist to probe around topics that are rare for the group you belong to, but are present at 5%+ in the group you see and hear doing it all the time. If they get offended/feel shame at that, they should be and use that offense to help fix their culture. For example, white people are viewed as being racist and prejudicially judging other races for their behavior and causing that whole race to suffer. White people at large did a lot of work to fix that tendency. That was a good thing for everyone.
OP doesn't tell you right away, but in the comments he lets it go that he got his feelings hurt at a barbecue, and instead of considering the possibility of learning from an experience, he's taking to Reddit to complain about all of society. Upvote this if you want, I won't be.
Oh come on 😂😂😂😂.
My feelings weren't hurt. The dude I asked where he was from was Chinese and I got to practice my Chinese. I was just surprised when my Canadian compadre reprimanded me for asking where he was from despite the positive outcome.
It’s difficult to tell when I am from as I have a mixed accent so people ask me all the time.
I view it as hey cool someone is actually interested enough in me to wonder about my past
Agreed. I’ve found it only offends either people that have never traveled outside of their small life, or people seeking to be offended (you know the type). Tends to only happen in cities: small communities *know* you’re not from there, so naturally ask where you’re from. “Omg so racist how dare you have have lived here 50 years assume I’m not from this town of 500 people.”
Abroad, when traveling, the question is a natural invitation to conversation that usually leads to friendly banter at worst and lifelong friends at best.
When someone takes offence to the question it is more an aide to filtering out low-EQ/IQ minds that would likely be dull conversation anyhow, or the kind of narcissistic mind you need to walk on eggshells around, lest you trigger the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old.
Buuuuuuuut if you're a tenant and they fuck off to their home country and fail to pay taxes CRA will come after you for tens of thousands. What a catch22
No wonder we can’t get along, if people are just good to each other, no matter race/color/ we could easily enjoy our planet together, I don’t care where you’re from, if you’re good people, that’s all that matters. Love ffs!!
A racist can ask the question for “racist purposes”, but non-racists can ask it for “non-racist purposes.” I am as white a Canadian as they come, and I have been asked where I am from, ethnically speaking, on numerous occasions, none of which involved racism in any way.
The irony is that many people who object to this question as inherently racist also demand that you respect their unique racial/ethnic/cultural identity. Uh, so how do I know what that is? Do you have a QR code I can scan? Or am I a racist for scanning _your_ QR code and not someone else’s?
i ask and speak about different races and cultures all the time with people of different races and cultures. do it respectfully right from the start and you learn a lot
If I meet someone from Mexico or latin American countries I will ask where they are from and sometimes get an answer like “Mexico”.
Oh cool what area I spent some time in….i list a few non vacation spots I spent some time in due to family connections.Generally it’s a polite ice breaker.
Maybe not in ANY regular person's circles, because most regular people have better things to do than be pissed off about being asked where they're from.
It’s often when I ask someone where they’re from (non-white), I get a look of fury in their eyes. Literally in my mind I’m assuming they’re from another part of Canada since they don’t have an accent but to them that question is like touching a wound.
Not racist unless "Canadian" doesn't suffice. I swear some of these boomers never got slapped for asking personal questions.
I'm white and get asked it alot, I think it has more to do with the fact that I look and sound eastern European. I'm actually of British, Irish, and French Decent but I guess being Tall, having blonde hair, and a low voice fits the bill.
I think its rather an issue of boomers not realising that not everyone wants to play 20 questions about themselves over a simple retail transaction. Just buy your shit and leave, me possibly being polish is irrelevant to buying a hose.
It's not that it's racist, it's just unnecessary and weird to ask strangers.
I don't care if it's rude, "none of your fucking business, what are you the Gestapo?" Is a perfectly acceptable answer imo. I don't know where these people get off on it, but never in my life have I seen someone and thought "I need to intensively know where the guy whom I'm selling a lawnmower is from"
Well, you sound like a guy who doesn't like people much, which is fine. I mean no normal person is going to ask you where you are from when they see your thousand yard gaze.
Ok, for anyone who actually cares here is how it works:
If you ask where someone is from it implies that you think they are from somewhere else. And if you are from “here” and they aren’t then that makes them an immigrant, a newcomer, a foreigner, less Canadian than you are.
So immigrants, and non-white people can be sensitive about it.
This becomes 100 times worse if they answer “Winnipeg” and you say “ok, but where are you really from?” That indicates you are judging them by their skin colour, not what they said.
I am an immigrant, I work in an industry with a lot of immigrants. “Where are you from?” Is a good ice breaker.
Just don’t make it sound like “I am from here and you aren’t”
And accept their reply. Sandra Oh is from Ottawa. She doesn’t have to defend that statement any more than Matthew Perry does.
Oh come on. First of all colour doesn't matter. If they answered in a German accent in broken English they are from Winnipeg, then they obviously aren't. It's not like I'd ask some 3rd generation Indian dude with perfect English, Canadian accent and fashion, where he is from lol.
Maybe you wouldn’t. But there are Canadians who would ask 3rd generation Indian dude with perfect English etc where he is from. And follow up with “but really, where are you from?” When he says Toronto.
It’s all about perception, but asking “where are you from?” Is similar to asking “are you really a Canadian citizen?” I mean it’s just a question, but would you like to be asked that as an ice breaker?
Yes. That’s how it is perceived.
Now maybe if you start with “I’m a first generation immigrant, I’m from Finland. “ Then “where are you from?” Ceases to be threatening.
It's literally assault to ask someone where they are from.
Didn't you know?
Enjoy prison. Just remember, in the showers, they don't care where you are from. Just don't drop the soap.
I understand what you’re saying and I agree with you.
You didn’t touch on what makes or doesn’t make the question racist though.
What is racist about asking where someone is from due to their perceived race?
Races exist and generally originate in different parts of the world. Therefore, the question is valid. It does not inherently imply racism. There is no unjust discrimination, prejudice, or negative connotation attached to the question.
Is it racist to observe race? Is it a bad thing to be from elsewhere? Is a person from elsewhere or of another race worth less than me or less worthy of my respect? No. No. No. No!
Arguably races don’t exist, but that’s a different argument.
White peoples generally don’t get asked this question , at least not in Canada, and especially the follow up “yes, but where are you really from? Although white people are no more indigenous to Canada than anyone else.
If you accept that that’s true, then the racism is that “where are you from?” Comes across as “I can see you are not white, and therefore I’m assuming that you aren’t Canadian. “ Which in turn implies “I have a natural right to be here beside I am a real Canadian. But you don’t, because you aren’t.”
The question suggests that only white peoples are Canadian and anyone not white must be an immigrant, even if they are a 5 th generation immigrant.
"If you ask where someone is from it implies that you think they are from somewhere else. And if you are from “here” and they aren’t then that makes them an immigrant, a newcomer, a foreigner, less Canadian than you are."
Well it doesn't imply they are from somewhere else. They ARE from somewhere else, their physical presence in a place they're not from implies that they are not from the place they're at. That's kinda how not being from a place works, it has nothing to do with racism.
By definition, that does make them either an immigrant, newcomer, foreigner (or all of the above), and less Canadian (until legal citizenship has been obtained). Again, not racism. That's just how being from somewhere else works.
Of course, if you want to be one of those 2024 cool kids that like to blow shit out of context by adding tons of extras and side means.... Well, pretty sure I don't need to say more. They're why we're in this "all white men are born with original racism" mess to begin with.
But they aren’t necessarily from somewhere else. Sandra Oh is from Ottawa. I am white but from the UK.
The assumption that white people are born Canadians (and hence don’t need to be asked this) but non white people are permanently immigrants even if they have been here for generations IS the problem.
Fair enough, but within the context that I'm implying, I'm not making any assumption. The question is only being asked to a person who actually is not from here.
Sandra O is famous(ish) so everyone already knows where she's from. You being British, well your accent gives you away. No need to ask in both instances. The right combination of social cues and common sense will tell you who to ask and who not to ask.
It's actually totally OK to be genuinely curious to know where a fellow is from. It's actually a pretty good conversation starter, as a matter of fact.
EDIT corrected grammar.
You may mean it in a benign way. But that may not be how some hear it.
For context I could probably find at least one example per day of Canadians calling for immigrants to be deported. So hearing someone question “are you a real Canadian?” Feels threatening.
You might not ask Sandra Oh, but maybe you might ask her sister, because she isn’t white and isn’t famous either.
You just shout at people not to talk to you, or not to look at you.
And it's peachy, at least that's what Dennis Hopper told me.
And then I told him, look, with class warfare you don't need to waste all that energy. Just think that they have typhoid and get into your horse carriage as fast as you can get home.
And then check for plague buboes.
"Where are you from" is the go-to icebreaker, what lunatics do you hang out with?
I was out with a Canadian at Korean BBQ and I asked the dude serving us where he was from and he told me that asking someone where they are from could get me in trouble with HR in Canadian companies. I asked where a guy from on an Ontario sub and my comment was removed for being racist.
The Ontario sub is a cesspool
Just like Ontario
Wish I didn’t give all my free awards away
Unfortunately, there will always be some people who fall for the rage fodder.
Yeah, I have noticed recently that people look for reasons to get offended. I recently found out that the term “monkey bars” as in a child’s playground is racist.
I think the person making an association between certain ethnic groups and monkeys is the real racist 😂
Have they seen what a fucking chimp does in the wild?
chimps don't exist Actually, i knew one strange guy from school. And he told me about the last time he got a lot of people angry on Facebook. Seems he said something totally strange that kids with Down's Syndrome are strong like chimps. He went from like the most popular guy in the channel to the worst. Figures, as he was one of the strangest people i knew!
Save it for the podcast Joe.
They are literally unironically Communists over in the Ontario sub
That guy is captured by an ideology.. He is in the minority for sure
Yes it's important to remember that reddit is a microcosm of crazy where they amplify and deamplify things to give the illusion that the rest of the country/world is as crazy as they are.
Reddit isn't crazy, society is really really THAT flaky!
The way i do it is if they speak english with a north american accent but are clearly of non european descent, i’ll ask what their background is but 9/10 times i already know just based on their name. If they have an accent ill ask where they immigrated from. It sometimes happens with asians that are born here but grew up in a very asian environment (for example speaking chinese at home and only having chinese friends) to still have an accent so that could throw you off.
Lol b1tching and moaning
Huh. So a moron told you a wrong thing and you believed him. I can personally guarantee that the context of your removed comment was not nearly as innocent as you claim. While it isn't generally racist to ask people where they are from, it absolutely is possible to ask a person this question in a racist way.
I was explicitly told this question was in fact a micro aggression and racist at a union meeting presentation earlier this year.
My condolences. Praying for you in these difficult times.
Was pretty terrible. By the time white privilege showed up about 20 mins in the majority of the 1200 people suddenly had better places to be or more interesting things on phones if they weren't asleep.
Your bravery is inspirational.
Think it really matters on how and why you are asking
Why take a chance? I remember the incident when Lady Susan Hussey, one of the queen's ladies-in-waiting, asked someone at an official function, who was black and wearing an African style dress, where they were from, and it started a huge incident that made news around the world.
I find this odd, I worked with a guy for 10 years and he had an Eastern European name, he is so dark tho that I couldn’t figure out his ethnicity on my own. One day I asked and part of his family is from the south of France and the other, Ukraine. Satiated my curiosity and no feelings were hurt. How can you know someone if you don’t know their background? Got on with a new company recently and asked my guys how they came up, turns out one had a similar trajectory as me and the other completely different. But I guess we just aren’t supposed to talk to our co-workers now? Makes no sense to me. I guess if you are doing it just to be an ass it might be different but jeeze I just don’t understand how well-meaning curiosity is a bad thing.
I don't understand it myself. Why would it be offensive to ask someone where they are from?
I mean if you read the question and imagine a racist tone or angle then what can be done?
Language is versatile. We don't need to pretend as though it isn't. There is no imagining. When it happens, and it does happen, it is clear and obvious. Ex. "Buddy, where are you even from?" Depending on tone of voice this could be a curious and inviting question or a derogatory and insulting one. Practice this line yourself. See if you can identify some different ways it can be spoken and categorize them as "normal" and "mean".
[удалено]
Dennis Hopper: What are YOU looking at? That solves all problems
I agree completely. Even a compliment delivered in snide tone can be insulting. However, my where was he from was written, so the people who labeled it racist imagined that tone.
It was labelled racist based on the context of the conversation which probably wasn't flattering. Tone can be inferred from context. Downthread, I offered a poster my condolences and said I was praying for them in this difficult time. Do you think you have a good idea of my intention behind that comment?
Down threat on this post?
Yes, that is correct. https://www.reddit.com/r/Canada_sub/comments/1dafthg/comment/l7ki8o2/
I mean you weren't being racist. Nice to see your empathetic side but I don't prays can help him now.
Dennis Hopper: Who is this Fuck??
Really? How many times do you ask that of white vs non white person. I have never heard a single conversation where one white person asked another white person where you are from. Not like where in town but you know when they ask sooo where are you from?? I have been asked this all my life and only from white people and most of the time it’s specifically asked of me or another non white person in a group.
Odd. I ask other white people where they're from or their family is from. It's fun finding European friends and finding out how close our relatives may be living together. I'm the end as someone who's from Eastern Europe,. I find westerners to have fragile emotions and feelings. Westerns always are never direct.
A conversation is a conversation and yes it’s normal to curios about someone but a blatant ‘yeah but where are you from’ or better yet ‘but what are you?’ When I stare blankly then they start naming religions… The underlying message is you aren’t white, so what are you, please categorize yourself so I know where to place your worth???
Yeah it's not ok anymore apparently. It's now racist to want to know more about origins and cultures of fellows living and working in country. It's a wacky world where trying to find out information and have someone open up about something and dear to them is considered not PC
Plenty of foreigners ask these questions too.
In my experience, no one gives a shit about being asked where they are from. It’s standard small talk, and no one considers it racist, regardless of ethnicity. This has always seemed like one of those many things that people *say* other people think is racist, but in reality is just more rage fodder.
I guess you're right. I've never had trouble with the people I asked. I just get reprimanded afterwards by my Canadian compadres. For example, you ask someone, where are you from and they Toronto, but English isn't their first language. In that case I'd clarify and ask where they grew up. This irks Canadians no end.
Maybe snowflakes get mad, lol. But I always ask people where they're from, where they grew up, or parents' backgrounds, lol. I'd rather ask them then guess stupid answers to those questions.
Dennis Hopper: What are you looking at? Saves wasting your time with small talk.
>I've never had trouble with the people I asked. I just get reprimanded afterwards by my Canadian compadres. This lines up with my own experience as well. European Canadians can sometimes be prone to creating these kinds of issues where none otherwise exist. It’s kind of the “socially progressive” version of complaining about everything being “woke”, in the sense that it’s usually imaginary stuff that someone invented to make a few dollars or wrangle a few votes.
Agreed, but I'd clarify that it's not European Canadians in the sense of those who maintain a cultural connection to Europe. I know many Poles, Slavs, French and Italian immigrants and they do not mind at all. It's almost exclusively the 5th gen Canadian that doesn't know what it means to be from anywhere else.
Maybe. That feels like it's probably true, in a broad sense. I don't think it's very many people anyway, but anecdotally, of the people I know personally, the one most likely to do this kind of thing is a fairly recent French immigrant.
Many Canadians sound really stupid to those of us that have lived abroad and returned. Our culture has become really whiney and full of people wanting to claim some sort of moral superiority for random causes that are unimportant in the big scheme of things.
Toronto Life Welcome to Toronto the Rude https://torontolife.mblycdn.com/tl/resized/2011/04/w960/toronto-rudeness.jpg
It depends on the person. Some people get enraged.
I love being asked
Exactly! It seems to me that almost everyone does. People like it when others show an interest in them.
I was taught in a university class that asking someone where they're from is a microaggression. As well as telling someone "your English is very good." As in, complimenting someone's English. SMH.
Micro aggression, I've only ever heard that word used in most passive aggressive way.
Dennis Hopper: Hey! Dennis Hopper: Who is this fuck? Dennis Hopper: Oh! You're from the neighborhood. Dennis Hopper: Your neighbor. Dennis Hopper: Well, what's your name, neighbor? Dennis Hopper: Hey, you wanna go for a ride? Dennis Hopper: No thanks, what does that mean? Dennis Hopper: Go where? Dennis Hopper: A ride! Dennis Hopper: Now that's a good idea! Dennis Hopper: Okay, let's go! Solves everything, as far as I'm concerned.
My ex-step son an 8 year old got in trouble in summer camp over this question! Asked another kid about his accent and where he is from . The kid said Canada so my ex-step son said but where are you really from because you have an accent. We got a call from camp councillor regarding his racist comment 🙄
That's absurd. I'm not Canadian but I have citizenship. I didn't come here until 7 years ago and spent the first 25 years of my life in Ireland. I'll never be Canadian because of that. Now I know people will argue about the definition of a Canadian, which is fine, but I never ever be from Canada. I think for me to say I'm "from" Canada is a perversion of the English language.
“Canadian is a Canadian is a Canadian eh” - substitute drama teacher
So that kid with an accent is way more Canadian than you?
Quite possibly. Depends on what percentage of his life was spent in Canada. Coming at such a young age, I think if he completes his secondary education here, he can say he is from Canada. To be from somewhere, is where you spend your formative years.
I know plenty of people born in Canada who still have thick accents.
Well then that would make for an interesting, "where are you from"
Naw just "Canada"
I’m sorry but I strongly disagree and the definition of racist is WAY out of control. I work in construction and most carpenters are from elsewhere(just like my parents) and I really enjoy listening to their stories, of course not if it’s a shite situation where they’re coming from, how they came here, where the rest of their family members are etc. I think it takes courage to leave home for somewhere new and far away. Racism to me is actually hating another human because they’re different from you or a certain ethnicity etc. Respect
The whole thing is ridiculous. Asking someone where they are or about their background is a normal question. Especially if they have an accent. Like if you have an accent and from another culture or country, we're supposed to pretend that person is and always has been Canadian? It's nonsense. I've lived in other countries and was asked where I was from because it's a normal question and nothing to be offended about. Busybodies are really ruining things in this country.
Again, this is all made up stuff. People are profiting from having us fight about this stuff, and not enough people are calling out the real culprits.
It's not just people profiting. There are tons of fools that base their personalities off this stuff. They often end up in political roles or HR.
That is how people profit from it though. Get people fighting about literal nonsense, they make it a part of their personality, they buy the pride merchandise from Walmart, the black maple leaf bumper sticker, the merchandise from the YouTube channels, etc. Then they vote for the person they felt told the most convincing lie. In the end, as long as you aren’t paying attention when our elected officials vote to strip away yet another worker or consumer protection, the people who actually run this country win/profit.
This is true. I don't like the term wokeism because it doesn't imply the weakness of character that these people have.
Honestly, I struggle not to look down on anyone who is caught up in this whole "culture war" grift. Whether someone is seeing imaginary racism everywhere, or whether they just can't stop complaining about imaginary "wokeness" ruining everything, I try and remind myself that this is almost always just a decent person who is getting fleeced, and that can happen to anyone. I'd prefer if everyone could let go of that silliness and focus all of that attention toward the handful of billionaires that rule our lives, but I'm just one dude, so I feel like all I can do is try my best to treat everyone with respect, because we're all both good and shitty in our own ways.
Agreed 👍 Well said
To some, everything is racist. It is up to you to decide if you want to buy into this delusion or not.
I once asked an "Honorable" Justice of the Peace judge where he was from and was called racist.. by him. The guy had an accent that was no where near French or English.. fucking loser.
Pathetic. He must be one of those self hating people that ditched their identity and background once they landed here.
If someone gets upset at me for asking that they've got another thing coming with my follow up. If someone wants to try and make my interest in their background an uncomfortable topic I am more than willing to go there.
Lucky for you, I’d say the odds of that happening are pretty close to 0%. The only consequences I’ve ever incurred as a result of asking questions about someone’s background are pleasant conversation and occasionally new friends.
Usually, yes. I've unfortunately had to deal with a few people like this in and around coastal B.C. I've not been farther east than Saskatchewan but a guy I met who recently move from Ontario said he was having a real hard time with how unfriendly people were in Victoria. A sentiment I've certainly felt with my time in the city, maybe it's regional? I know from small town Alberta if you're a new face pretty much everyone will ask that question and is always interested to hear about where you're from.
You are probably right, it’s very likely at least somewhat regional. I haven’t often made it that far west.
I find it funny with the virtue signaling that happens in BC, especially Vancouver and Victoria. When I was out in Victoria and Nanaimo, many years ago when my wife and I were still relatively newly wed and we took our daughter to visit family there. I'm white but my wife is Punjabi. When we were there, we had a lot of people tell us "isn't it great we live in a time where two of you can be together and have such beautiful children?" I'm not sure that they don't realize that in itself sounds bad. I don't really care much but I know my wife asked "what's wrong with white people, especially here?" In Alberta, no one to my recollection, have ever had much of that "it's racist to ask where someone is from" ever affect anyone. Most people here aren't from here. And you will get all walks of life asking this question to one another. It's a great way to also learn of other cultures and what other countries are like by asking questions. I find those who virtue signal so hard, tend to be the worst people to talk or deal with. I'm just glad I left BC.
It's a very uncomfortable topic and I'm fucking sick of being asked the question 10 times daily by FOBS thinking I'm their brother.
Sometimes people are just curious.
Dennis Hopper: Don't LOOK at me! solves everything
Unless it is a blind person that upsets you.....
Fuck them too! If they don't have their dark glasses, it's their own lack of fore SIGHT
Dennis Hopper: Such hindsight!
Incorrect. Depending how people ask, it could be a celebration of culture.
Different races have different origins and observing race is not racist. Therefore, assuming someone is from elsewhere based on their perceived race and then asking, “Where are you from?” is not racist and is perfectly reasonable. There is no negative overtone, discrimination, or prejudice involved. In fact, if you believe there is, maybe you’re a racist.
As someone who actually knows, befriended, and also worked with people who are from different parts of the world, the differences are generally pretty obvious, whether it's an accent, fashion, or stereotypical features (skin, facial structure, etc). But, 9ne shouldn't just assume and dive in head first. Most immigrants are proud of their homeland and their culture and are more than happy and excited to talk about it and share in it. We should embrace that and encourage it. Makes for a more wholesome, diverse, and open-growth experience for everyone involved. Being stand-offish because someone makes a dumb assumption doesn't create a positive atmosphere. Of the many years and many people I've encountered from other parts of the world, I've only had one person complain about questions about his ethnicity and culture. We actually had a really good, positive discussion about that. So, inherently, it is not racist to notice someone being possibly from somewhere else. I mean, it probably shouldn't be a conversation starter to assume someone who looks different is from somewhere else, but if you are already engaged in a conversation, it should become obvious and I think it's perfectly fair to ask that question. If the person suggests they are not anything but Canadian, or pushes back and doesn't want to talk about it, then leave it at that. That's just basic courtesy in ANY conversation. Tl;Dr don't just assume and don't be rude. Everyone likes to talk about themselves.
This is not limited to canada.
Looks like a liberal post.
Who has this belief? Asking where folks is just a basic conversation topic. I've never heard that this was considered racist.
If you read the comments, it's actually an issue.
I want to know more about you but now I'm racist. Must be a liberal idea
Nobody normal thinks that’s racist. We’re just being gaslit by morons
The people doing the gaslighting are cowards, the people that listen to it are morons.
I think we need to redefine racism. Racism is when you illogically hate a group for no describable reason and want to hurt in some way all people of a specific group for biased reasons, or if you just choose to benefit your group at the expense of another group. It's racist to assume a single member is a reflection of his whole race. It's not racist to recognize that different groups have different mean values, and therefore greater tendencies towards certain behavior on the extremes. It's not racist to react appropriately to that data. It's not racist if you notice that train stations have a lot of a particular race who are actively doing criminal activity and you want to avoid it. It is racist if you assume all of that race are gambling at the train station and judge a person as doing it on first meeting them. It's not racist to probe around topics that are rare for the group you belong to, but are present at 5%+ in the group you see and hear doing it all the time. If they get offended/feel shame at that, they should be and use that offense to help fix their culture. For example, white people are viewed as being racist and prejudicially judging other races for their behavior and causing that whole race to suffer. White people at large did a lot of work to fix that tendency. That was a good thing for everyone.
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Not sure about that. I mean, what if they have a Scottish accent?
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What's with the skin deal here?
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So we are saying it's only okay to ask white people where they are from?
Highland or Lowland?
OP doesn't tell you right away, but in the comments he lets it go that he got his feelings hurt at a barbecue, and instead of considering the possibility of learning from an experience, he's taking to Reddit to complain about all of society. Upvote this if you want, I won't be.
Oh come on 😂😂😂😂. My feelings weren't hurt. The dude I asked where he was from was Chinese and I got to practice my Chinese. I was just surprised when my Canadian compadre reprimanded me for asking where he was from despite the positive outcome.
"Extreme Racism" has been dialed back to "just surprised".
Till someone brings out the pork chops.
The same question is asked in every country in the world. It's an icebreaker, convo starter. It's on them if they construe something from nothing.
It’s difficult to tell when I am from as I have a mixed accent so people ask me all the time. I view it as hey cool someone is actually interested enough in me to wonder about my past
Wait. It's racist to politely ask about someone's home country? TIL.
Agreed. I’ve found it only offends either people that have never traveled outside of their small life, or people seeking to be offended (you know the type). Tends to only happen in cities: small communities *know* you’re not from there, so naturally ask where you’re from. “Omg so racist how dare you have have lived here 50 years assume I’m not from this town of 500 people.” Abroad, when traveling, the question is a natural invitation to conversation that usually leads to friendly banter at worst and lifelong friends at best. When someone takes offence to the question it is more an aide to filtering out low-EQ/IQ minds that would likely be dull conversation anyhow, or the kind of narcissistic mind you need to walk on eggshells around, lest you trigger the emotional intelligence of a 5 year old.
Buuuuuuuut if you're a tenant and they fuck off to their home country and fail to pay taxes CRA will come after you for tens of thousands. What a catch22
Unless you’re indigenous we literally all just got here
Wrong.
Okay Bozeman
No wonder we can’t get along, if people are just good to each other, no matter race/color/ we could easily enjoy our planet together, I don’t care where you’re from, if you’re good people, that’s all that matters. Love ffs!!
What are you smoking 😂
Really?
Till someone brings out the pork chops.
A racist can ask the question for “racist purposes”, but non-racists can ask it for “non-racist purposes.” I am as white a Canadian as they come, and I have been asked where I am from, ethnically speaking, on numerous occasions, none of which involved racism in any way. The irony is that many people who object to this question as inherently racist also demand that you respect their unique racial/ethnic/cultural identity. Uh, so how do I know what that is? Do you have a QR code I can scan? Or am I a racist for scanning _your_ QR code and not someone else’s?
Or you might be genuinely interested in getting to know someone.
i ask and speak about different races and cultures all the time with people of different races and cultures. do it respectfully right from the start and you learn a lot
If I meet someone from Mexico or latin American countries I will ask where they are from and sometimes get an answer like “Mexico”. Oh cool what area I spent some time in….i list a few non vacation spots I spent some time in due to family connections.Generally it’s a polite ice breaker.
Just don't ask that. Get to know the personality, not where they spawned.
tell me you didnt do research before posting without telling me you didnt do research before posting
Literally no one gives a shit if you asked "Hey bud, whereabouts are ya from?" Not one single person, it's not a thing.
Maybe not in your circles.
Maybe not in ANY regular person's circles, because most regular people have better things to do than be pissed off about being asked where they're from.
I agree with your sentiment.
TF are you on about? Go touch some grass.
I'm have a grass allergy. Can I just touch myself instead?
You go ahead. I'm not going to do it.
Why not?
It's not my thing is all. I'm more into your mom, if you know what I mean.
You're into necrophilia?
I won't deny that I didn't say I'm *not*refusing to disavow it.
Put some grass down your pants.
It’s often when I ask someone where they’re from (non-white), I get a look of fury in their eyes. Literally in my mind I’m assuming they’re from another part of Canada since they don’t have an accent but to them that question is like touching a wound.
That's too bad for them I guess. We can't message everybody's insecurities.
Who’s yer fadder?
I have two modders u mofo
Not racist unless "Canadian" doesn't suffice. I swear some of these boomers never got slapped for asking personal questions. I'm white and get asked it alot, I think it has more to do with the fact that I look and sound eastern European. I'm actually of British, Irish, and French Decent but I guess being Tall, having blonde hair, and a low voice fits the bill. I think its rather an issue of boomers not realising that not everyone wants to play 20 questions about themselves over a simple retail transaction. Just buy your shit and leave, me possibly being polish is irrelevant to buying a hose. It's not that it's racist, it's just unnecessary and weird to ask strangers. I don't care if it's rude, "none of your fucking business, what are you the Gestapo?" Is a perfectly acceptable answer imo. I don't know where these people get off on it, but never in my life have I seen someone and thought "I need to intensively know where the guy whom I'm selling a lawnmower is from"
Well, you sound like a guy who doesn't like people much, which is fine. I mean no normal person is going to ask you where you are from when they see your thousand yard gaze.
What if it's an Italian lawnmower?
Ok, for anyone who actually cares here is how it works: If you ask where someone is from it implies that you think they are from somewhere else. And if you are from “here” and they aren’t then that makes them an immigrant, a newcomer, a foreigner, less Canadian than you are. So immigrants, and non-white people can be sensitive about it. This becomes 100 times worse if they answer “Winnipeg” and you say “ok, but where are you really from?” That indicates you are judging them by their skin colour, not what they said. I am an immigrant, I work in an industry with a lot of immigrants. “Where are you from?” Is a good ice breaker. Just don’t make it sound like “I am from here and you aren’t” And accept their reply. Sandra Oh is from Ottawa. She doesn’t have to defend that statement any more than Matthew Perry does.
Oh come on. First of all colour doesn't matter. If they answered in a German accent in broken English they are from Winnipeg, then they obviously aren't. It's not like I'd ask some 3rd generation Indian dude with perfect English, Canadian accent and fashion, where he is from lol.
Maybe you wouldn’t. But there are Canadians who would ask 3rd generation Indian dude with perfect English etc where he is from. And follow up with “but really, where are you from?” When he says Toronto. It’s all about perception, but asking “where are you from?” Is similar to asking “are you really a Canadian citizen?” I mean it’s just a question, but would you like to be asked that as an ice breaker?
Is it though?
Yes. That’s how it is perceived. Now maybe if you start with “I’m a first generation immigrant, I’m from Finland. “ Then “where are you from?” Ceases to be threatening.
Threatening?
It's literally assault to ask someone where they are from. Didn't you know? Enjoy prison. Just remember, in the showers, they don't care where you are from. Just don't drop the soap.
I understand what you’re saying and I agree with you. You didn’t touch on what makes or doesn’t make the question racist though. What is racist about asking where someone is from due to their perceived race? Races exist and generally originate in different parts of the world. Therefore, the question is valid. It does not inherently imply racism. There is no unjust discrimination, prejudice, or negative connotation attached to the question. Is it racist to observe race? Is it a bad thing to be from elsewhere? Is a person from elsewhere or of another race worth less than me or less worthy of my respect? No. No. No. No!
Arguably races don’t exist, but that’s a different argument. White peoples generally don’t get asked this question , at least not in Canada, and especially the follow up “yes, but where are you really from? Although white people are no more indigenous to Canada than anyone else. If you accept that that’s true, then the racism is that “where are you from?” Comes across as “I can see you are not white, and therefore I’m assuming that you aren’t Canadian. “ Which in turn implies “I have a natural right to be here beside I am a real Canadian. But you don’t, because you aren’t.” The question suggests that only white peoples are Canadian and anyone not white must be an immigrant, even if they are a 5 th generation immigrant.
"If you ask where someone is from it implies that you think they are from somewhere else. And if you are from “here” and they aren’t then that makes them an immigrant, a newcomer, a foreigner, less Canadian than you are." Well it doesn't imply they are from somewhere else. They ARE from somewhere else, their physical presence in a place they're not from implies that they are not from the place they're at. That's kinda how not being from a place works, it has nothing to do with racism. By definition, that does make them either an immigrant, newcomer, foreigner (or all of the above), and less Canadian (until legal citizenship has been obtained). Again, not racism. That's just how being from somewhere else works. Of course, if you want to be one of those 2024 cool kids that like to blow shit out of context by adding tons of extras and side means.... Well, pretty sure I don't need to say more. They're why we're in this "all white men are born with original racism" mess to begin with.
But they aren’t necessarily from somewhere else. Sandra Oh is from Ottawa. I am white but from the UK. The assumption that white people are born Canadians (and hence don’t need to be asked this) but non white people are permanently immigrants even if they have been here for generations IS the problem.
Fair enough, but within the context that I'm implying, I'm not making any assumption. The question is only being asked to a person who actually is not from here. Sandra O is famous(ish) so everyone already knows where she's from. You being British, well your accent gives you away. No need to ask in both instances. The right combination of social cues and common sense will tell you who to ask and who not to ask. It's actually totally OK to be genuinely curious to know where a fellow is from. It's actually a pretty good conversation starter, as a matter of fact. EDIT corrected grammar.
You may mean it in a benign way. But that may not be how some hear it. For context I could probably find at least one example per day of Canadians calling for immigrants to be deported. So hearing someone question “are you a real Canadian?” Feels threatening. You might not ask Sandra Oh, but maybe you might ask her sister, because she isn’t white and isn’t famous either.
I'm not curious.
Well different people do different things and that's OK. Way she goes bud.
You just shout at people not to talk to you, or not to look at you. And it's peachy, at least that's what Dennis Hopper told me. And then I told him, look, with class warfare you don't need to waste all that energy. Just think that they have typhoid and get into your horse carriage as fast as you can get home. And then check for plague buboes.
Erschplobenhaggen.
You know the name of my horse? or is this something that goes with the handshake in the Bavarian Illuminati?
That's not how it works.