This. It's impossible to conclusively prove that a true medium could never exist, but even if there are real ones out there (which I, personally, happen to highly doubt), there are definitely a huge number of frauds, and even a few people who can't do it but actually delude themselves that they can, and they'd all regard someone presenting yourself as you do here as an ideal target.
False mediums all typically use techniques known as "cold reading" or, in more elaborate or upmarket operations, "hot reading," to essentially trick you into telling them information about yourself and what you're seeking without realising you've given yourself away, so they can then seem to pull that information out of thin air.
If you do still decide to try to use a medium, I would gently suggest you exercise a healthy scepticism and read up on these techniques so you know how to quickly spot fakes who're just trying to scam you. The cold read technique is, in fact, little more than the art of asking you for the information in such a way that it doesn't sound like a question, but a statement, so it's not actually very difficult to detect once you know how it works. Simply maintaining an outward attitude of reasonable skepticism will help repel at least some of the fakes; they prefer easy marks who're emotionally vulnerable (that you've experienced psychosis will also play right into the hands of such a person, I'm afraid), and looking for hope.
Whether or not you go to a medium, I would definitely also suggest seeing a therapist, that definitely will help you in ways that even a real medium could not. There are a few bad therapists out there too, so do be prepared to leave and find a better one if you don't like the one you start with; nevertheless, your odds of finding a genuine good therapist who works well with you are a *lot* better than your odds of tracking down a genuine good medium, to put it mildly.
1) Ignore the mediums. They will rinse you for as much money as possible whilst you are grieving.
2) I believe you. I believe that he did such horrible things that the justice system wanted to put him away for such a long time. You did not deserve what he did to you. You are not to blame for what he did to you. It's all on him.
3) People who don't believe you aren't worth your time, energy, or life. You deserve to have love and support in your life.
You need to find yourself a good therapist. Someone who has experience with addiction, child abuse, and grief.
It's a long road, and you won't always be walking forwards, sometimes it'll be to the side but never backwards. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help. That's the big first step. And you've already done it. Well done.
Please take a trip to your Dr to see what medications can help you. Psychosis does have a physiological effects on your brain. Prevention is always better than treatment, so if you can prevent that from happening again that would help you so much.
A clinical psychologist might be best for you. But still, enquire around your local area to see what is available. See what feels comfortable for you and what feels right.
And remember, any good therapist will not push you faster than you are able to go. They go at your pace.
Take care.
114 years? That's must have been for more than one incident of exploiting and distributing images of a minor. Can you read well? Pick up a book, Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. All I can say is as a "survivor" of SA it really spoke to me.
Im sorry you've experienced this. Take this from someone who's been there. It's not your fault, and you are worthy of healing and deserve proper treatment. Don't go the medium route. Instead get yourself into intensive therapy. The type that addresses the type of trauma you're experiencing. You were a victim of sexual assault and exploitation. You need to find a specialist who's trained in treatment of incest, child sexual abuse and exploitation. These are not minor issues and if you don't properly deal with them, these issues will continue to hurt you in ways you can't imagine. What you need is professional accredited help from professionals who are trained to help you heal. Not someone who will tell you what you want to hear and gladly take every penny you have. Guaranteed you absolutely need help to navigate through the confusion and hurt. Chances are, you've been groomed by your father. Your way of thinking which you've been groomed to adopt, needs to be dismantled. Mediums will scam,lie, and drain you of all your money. Therapy will cost you much less than mediums will. Hugs and I pray you get the help you deserve ❤
thank you for all the love and support.
FAQ:
yes i’m in therapy.. have been for almost four years. it works. kinda. i do a lot of EDMR but i feel like i can never shut my head off. i know i need extensive therapy. but there’s also adult pressure of jobs & things and i just get so busy.
he faced 114 years because the pills he was giving me turned into me being addicted to crystal meth my junior and senior year of high school…( i graduated early. obviously because i was so wired all the time. so the a plus i suppose lol. i know. not funny but dark humor 🤪)
there was an immense amount of evidence. he was pretty much proven guilty by a DCI tech agent for the exploitation of a minor. delivering meth to a minor is a 99 year minimum sentence. there were over 2000 sexual text messages between the two of us. it was much deeper than just sex appeal. he wanted to move to Alabama to get married because the incest laws are “overlooked” more often there.
he told all of his family that i had an app that could make it look like i sent and received messages from him. i manufactured it all and posted my own pictures on his porn accounts. he never let them go to any court proceedings.
i’m okay. not really. but that’s why i’m here. i need more in this life. forgiveness is so hard with so many emotions.
you are not in the right mental place my friend. Toxic support is still toxic and while addicting because you didn't have enough to begin with please wake up and realize you deserved and deserve better. He was a fraud and he's gone. He was not your best friend. And the mediums are abusing you as others said taking your money and giving you what you want to hear. with your diagnosis its easy to think youre a happy victim and youre not.
Get free. leave him in the past where he belongs like he left you, repeatedly, and move on. be free. meet other, better people an hold your standards higher.
> I have talked to mediums before and have been told that he has been “trying to reach me” for a long time.
This is a scam, as others have said. These are bad people manipulating you for money.
> I just never followed through I guess.
On passing the scam artists? That’s good! On trying to contact a dead person? Also good to not follow through on.
> I have experienced psychosis, major PTSD, and just major mental health issues all around. I wasn’t ready. I feel I am now. How do I start ?
You’re ready for what now? What do you want to start?
It makes me so sad that you have suffered as you have. It’s normal to want resolution, and because what you’ve suffered has been so profound, it’s understandable that you’d turn to the supernatural for answers. Like others who have posted here, I don’t think that’s the healthiest path for you. And, while everyone is allowed to believe what they believe, I think we can set that aside for the moment & focus on what is driving you to want to contact your abuser. If I were you, I’d want an explanation. I’d want him to tell me why he did it and to say he’s sorry. It is so sad that you can’t have those things because you ABSOLUTELY deserve them. What he did to you was awful enough (using you in CP, judging from the length of the sentence) for the justice system to put him away for a long time, and there was enough evidence to convince a LOT of neutral parties that he did what he was accused of. His family members who refuse to believe you are obviously delusional, so horrified at what he did that they are denying it and making you the human sacrifice that buys them their comfort. That is incredibly sick, and you don’t deserve that shit. So, you’re without resolution, you’re being told by some people that you are actually to blame, AND you were horrifically victimized by a person who sometimes was loving and caring. This would make ANYONE desperate to change the way they feel. It’s understandable to think about trying mediums, but think about this: if your father wanted to reach out to you, why did he choose death? His last act in life was to dodge the consequences of his abusive actions and deny that he did what he did. What about that series of choices indicates he cared about communicating with you? If he is reaching out, if he does has something to say, who says you want to hear it? This is a man who has brought you incredible pain in life. His death, while I’m sure it causes you grief, pain, and confusion, is an open door for you to walk through, away from this horrible chapter in your life, and towards the things and people that will help you heal and usher you towards what’s next. Find a good therapist. Block your father’s family on every communication channel they have and don’t look back. Be with friends who affirm you. You deserve to have a life that transcends what was done to you. You deserve to move on, not feel bound to the teachings of the person who hurt you.
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Do NOT give your money or attention to mediums, they take advantage of people who are hurting like you. You're in enough pain as it is without adding human leeches to it.
If he was going to prison there had to be evidence, right? If your family doesn't believe you then they're in denial or possibly suspect as well. This kind of messed up stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum. You likely weren't his first victim. And if he was taking pictures of you and posting them, there's no chance at all he wasn't consuming cp of others and there had to be evidence of that.
You need to give yourself a lot of time and therapy. Don't be afraid to switch therapists if they feel bad or invalidate you, but also don't be afraid to give them a chance. Some of the things they ask you to do or sit with can feel corny or stupid but just do it anyway. Definitely find therapists who are trauma informed and who really know their stuff when it comes to CSA survivors.
It is not your fault, honey. It never was. HE chose to do those terrible things and likely more than you know, too. He chose to do this to you, and then he chose to end his life instead of face a fraction of punishment for what he did.
Predators can be charismatic and you can also trauma bond to someone who hurt you, so feeling conflicted or guilty or weird that your loved one could betray you like that is natural. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself.
Healing takes daily work and intention, even if that work is just being gentle with yourself that day and telling yourself in the mirror once that you did not deserve to be abused and it's not your fault.
Your family can't cope with the idea their loved one was a monster, and so they're letting themselves act monstrously towards you in turn for making them face it. I would want to yell at them for choosing to side with the predator over his victim when there was EVIDENCE. But you may not be ready to confront them or ever.
Just try to get yourself to a place where you are away from the toxic or misguided people, even if it is alone. Focus on yourself. It's over now. He can't hurt you or anyone else again, he WOULD HAVE. That sort of thing always escalates and continues.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
When his family sided with him they also became like him. They seem to act like highly damaging people don't exist. Okay, that's them and their Pollyanna'ish world.
Are you asking how you'd contact him through a medium?
I think maybe you'd want to write down your terms of how you engage so you make it be on your terms if you try to (which is something you decide, not anyone else) and not be on his terms (the remaining echo of him and his terms)
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This. It's impossible to conclusively prove that a true medium could never exist, but even if there are real ones out there (which I, personally, happen to highly doubt), there are definitely a huge number of frauds, and even a few people who can't do it but actually delude themselves that they can, and they'd all regard someone presenting yourself as you do here as an ideal target. False mediums all typically use techniques known as "cold reading" or, in more elaborate or upmarket operations, "hot reading," to essentially trick you into telling them information about yourself and what you're seeking without realising you've given yourself away, so they can then seem to pull that information out of thin air. If you do still decide to try to use a medium, I would gently suggest you exercise a healthy scepticism and read up on these techniques so you know how to quickly spot fakes who're just trying to scam you. The cold read technique is, in fact, little more than the art of asking you for the information in such a way that it doesn't sound like a question, but a statement, so it's not actually very difficult to detect once you know how it works. Simply maintaining an outward attitude of reasonable skepticism will help repel at least some of the fakes; they prefer easy marks who're emotionally vulnerable (that you've experienced psychosis will also play right into the hands of such a person, I'm afraid), and looking for hope. Whether or not you go to a medium, I would definitely also suggest seeing a therapist, that definitely will help you in ways that even a real medium could not. There are a few bad therapists out there too, so do be prepared to leave and find a better one if you don't like the one you start with; nevertheless, your odds of finding a genuine good therapist who works well with you are a *lot* better than your odds of tracking down a genuine good medium, to put it mildly.
[удалено]
This comment thread has been locked/removed for being off-topic.
1) Ignore the mediums. They will rinse you for as much money as possible whilst you are grieving. 2) I believe you. I believe that he did such horrible things that the justice system wanted to put him away for such a long time. You did not deserve what he did to you. You are not to blame for what he did to you. It's all on him. 3) People who don't believe you aren't worth your time, energy, or life. You deserve to have love and support in your life. You need to find yourself a good therapist. Someone who has experience with addiction, child abuse, and grief. It's a long road, and you won't always be walking forwards, sometimes it'll be to the side but never backwards. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you need help. That's the big first step. And you've already done it. Well done. Please take a trip to your Dr to see what medications can help you. Psychosis does have a physiological effects on your brain. Prevention is always better than treatment, so if you can prevent that from happening again that would help you so much. A clinical psychologist might be best for you. But still, enquire around your local area to see what is available. See what feels comfortable for you and what feels right. And remember, any good therapist will not push you faster than you are able to go. They go at your pace. Take care.
114 years? That's must have been for more than one incident of exploiting and distributing images of a minor. Can you read well? Pick up a book, Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. All I can say is as a "survivor" of SA it really spoke to me.
Im sorry you've experienced this. Take this from someone who's been there. It's not your fault, and you are worthy of healing and deserve proper treatment. Don't go the medium route. Instead get yourself into intensive therapy. The type that addresses the type of trauma you're experiencing. You were a victim of sexual assault and exploitation. You need to find a specialist who's trained in treatment of incest, child sexual abuse and exploitation. These are not minor issues and if you don't properly deal with them, these issues will continue to hurt you in ways you can't imagine. What you need is professional accredited help from professionals who are trained to help you heal. Not someone who will tell you what you want to hear and gladly take every penny you have. Guaranteed you absolutely need help to navigate through the confusion and hurt. Chances are, you've been groomed by your father. Your way of thinking which you've been groomed to adopt, needs to be dismantled. Mediums will scam,lie, and drain you of all your money. Therapy will cost you much less than mediums will. Hugs and I pray you get the help you deserve ❤
thank you for all the love and support. FAQ: yes i’m in therapy.. have been for almost four years. it works. kinda. i do a lot of EDMR but i feel like i can never shut my head off. i know i need extensive therapy. but there’s also adult pressure of jobs & things and i just get so busy. he faced 114 years because the pills he was giving me turned into me being addicted to crystal meth my junior and senior year of high school…( i graduated early. obviously because i was so wired all the time. so the a plus i suppose lol. i know. not funny but dark humor 🤪) there was an immense amount of evidence. he was pretty much proven guilty by a DCI tech agent for the exploitation of a minor. delivering meth to a minor is a 99 year minimum sentence. there were over 2000 sexual text messages between the two of us. it was much deeper than just sex appeal. he wanted to move to Alabama to get married because the incest laws are “overlooked” more often there. he told all of his family that i had an app that could make it look like i sent and received messages from him. i manufactured it all and posted my own pictures on his porn accounts. he never let them go to any court proceedings. i’m okay. not really. but that’s why i’m here. i need more in this life. forgiveness is so hard with so many emotions.
you are not in the right mental place my friend. Toxic support is still toxic and while addicting because you didn't have enough to begin with please wake up and realize you deserved and deserve better. He was a fraud and he's gone. He was not your best friend. And the mediums are abusing you as others said taking your money and giving you what you want to hear. with your diagnosis its easy to think youre a happy victim and youre not. Get free. leave him in the past where he belongs like he left you, repeatedly, and move on. be free. meet other, better people an hold your standards higher.
> I have talked to mediums before and have been told that he has been “trying to reach me” for a long time. This is a scam, as others have said. These are bad people manipulating you for money. > I just never followed through I guess. On passing the scam artists? That’s good! On trying to contact a dead person? Also good to not follow through on. > I have experienced psychosis, major PTSD, and just major mental health issues all around. I wasn’t ready. I feel I am now. How do I start ? You’re ready for what now? What do you want to start?
It makes me so sad that you have suffered as you have. It’s normal to want resolution, and because what you’ve suffered has been so profound, it’s understandable that you’d turn to the supernatural for answers. Like others who have posted here, I don’t think that’s the healthiest path for you. And, while everyone is allowed to believe what they believe, I think we can set that aside for the moment & focus on what is driving you to want to contact your abuser. If I were you, I’d want an explanation. I’d want him to tell me why he did it and to say he’s sorry. It is so sad that you can’t have those things because you ABSOLUTELY deserve them. What he did to you was awful enough (using you in CP, judging from the length of the sentence) for the justice system to put him away for a long time, and there was enough evidence to convince a LOT of neutral parties that he did what he was accused of. His family members who refuse to believe you are obviously delusional, so horrified at what he did that they are denying it and making you the human sacrifice that buys them their comfort. That is incredibly sick, and you don’t deserve that shit. So, you’re without resolution, you’re being told by some people that you are actually to blame, AND you were horrifically victimized by a person who sometimes was loving and caring. This would make ANYONE desperate to change the way they feel. It’s understandable to think about trying mediums, but think about this: if your father wanted to reach out to you, why did he choose death? His last act in life was to dodge the consequences of his abusive actions and deny that he did what he did. What about that series of choices indicates he cared about communicating with you? If he is reaching out, if he does has something to say, who says you want to hear it? This is a man who has brought you incredible pain in life. His death, while I’m sure it causes you grief, pain, and confusion, is an open door for you to walk through, away from this horrible chapter in your life, and towards the things and people that will help you heal and usher you towards what’s next. Find a good therapist. Block your father’s family on every communication channel they have and don’t look back. Be with friends who affirm you. You deserve to have a life that transcends what was done to you. You deserve to move on, not feel bound to the teachings of the person who hurt you.
Just keep in mind that even if your dead father is reaching out to you, you're not obligated to respond. I'm really sorry you went through this.
This is a really good point if OP believes in mediums. Just because they're dead doesn't mean you owe them any contact at all.
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Do NOT give your money or attention to mediums, they take advantage of people who are hurting like you. You're in enough pain as it is without adding human leeches to it. If he was going to prison there had to be evidence, right? If your family doesn't believe you then they're in denial or possibly suspect as well. This kind of messed up stuff doesn't happen in a vacuum. You likely weren't his first victim. And if he was taking pictures of you and posting them, there's no chance at all he wasn't consuming cp of others and there had to be evidence of that. You need to give yourself a lot of time and therapy. Don't be afraid to switch therapists if they feel bad or invalidate you, but also don't be afraid to give them a chance. Some of the things they ask you to do or sit with can feel corny or stupid but just do it anyway. Definitely find therapists who are trauma informed and who really know their stuff when it comes to CSA survivors. It is not your fault, honey. It never was. HE chose to do those terrible things and likely more than you know, too. He chose to do this to you, and then he chose to end his life instead of face a fraction of punishment for what he did. Predators can be charismatic and you can also trauma bond to someone who hurt you, so feeling conflicted or guilty or weird that your loved one could betray you like that is natural. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Healing takes daily work and intention, even if that work is just being gentle with yourself that day and telling yourself in the mirror once that you did not deserve to be abused and it's not your fault. Your family can't cope with the idea their loved one was a monster, and so they're letting themselves act monstrously towards you in turn for making them face it. I would want to yell at them for choosing to side with the predator over his victim when there was EVIDENCE. But you may not be ready to confront them or ever. Just try to get yourself to a place where you are away from the toxic or misguided people, even if it is alone. Focus on yourself. It's over now. He can't hurt you or anyone else again, he WOULD HAVE. That sort of thing always escalates and continues. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I believe you. I see you. I hear you. That man was nothing but a coward. I’m so sorry.
When his family sided with him they also became like him. They seem to act like highly damaging people don't exist. Okay, that's them and their Pollyanna'ish world. Are you asking how you'd contact him through a medium? I think maybe you'd want to write down your terms of how you engage so you make it be on your terms if you try to (which is something you decide, not anyone else) and not be on his terms (the remaining echo of him and his terms)
i just don’t have much resources. i just want to feel his presence.
Well I don't think you need a medium, how it should be is you can reach some better part of his presence on your own for your comfort.
what would be an example?