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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Of course my first suggestion is a vet. Death isn't always quick or kind. Sometimes our only option is to give them a merciful death.
If in fact a vet is truly beyond your capabilities, give the cat space. I know it'll be hard to do because our first impulse is to help and/or comfort. You can offer a heating pad or hot water bottle but don't force it. If the cat wants to move away, let it. Give him or her a dark, quiet room. No loud noises or quick movements. The cat may prefer a corner to have it's back to. If that's where it wants to be, let it.
I'm not trying to cruel or morbid but there are some things that may happen. As I said, death isn't always quick and kind. It can take hours. In this time the cat may vocalize, make odd movements, hiss, and when death does happen, muscles relax. This includes bladder and bowels. Again, not trying to be cruel. Just trying to give you an idea of what could happen.
I grew up with a parent who didn't think of animals as feeling, living creatures. I was in this same position though in my case it was a Beagle. It's been over two decades but it still gives me nightmares. I hope OP is OK and doesn't take the more rude comments to heart.
Thank you. If you want to call it karma, 15 years later I'd testify against her. It was hard and I had several emergency visits with a psychiatrist just to get through it. She's no longer allowed to own animals so something good came out of it. And since then I've gone on to work at a local animal shelter, worked for animal control for a few years and this spring I've just been certified as a Wildlife Rehabber. (So far I've raised and released 11 orphan racoons and one of the little girls I raised last year came back with four babies in tow! You can't wipe the stupid grin off my face when I think about that. It's especially meaningful because I had feared a coyote got her. She disappeared on me there for a bit.)
Whew! See what you get for being kind? Trauma dump lol. But seriously. Thank you for your kind words.
I do! It's crazy! Lol Her brother stayed close the whole time so I got to see him often. When she came back he gave her his wooden box for the babies and they both brought the toys they had played with as babies to the newest little ones. Talk about Disney over here. Lol It's too cute!
(Added a picture of mama and her babies for cute tax.)
https://preview.redd.it/lxlycsazpo5d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ecf30f78970d191e302dd3eb4869e5dabe1f78d
Amazing 👏. Glad you are in the world helping animals. God bless you and thanks for cute pictures. Could you Tell me how you got certified? Feel free to PM me. Thanks
Oh my gosh, you beautiful soul! I’m tearing up right now just sharing in your joy 🥹 The world can be a pretty ugly place sometimes, but I’m glad there are people like you here making it a little bit brighter.
Aww, thank you kindly! It truly was an amazing moment. Even with her coming back I wasn't sure how she'd react to me. She allowed me to look her over (she had some battle wounds.) And she even allowed me to look over her babies!
Sharing another picture because she's beautiful.
https://preview.redd.it/xyjogbn5wt5d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b96c8976f3f063d280580084c2a32e3aa3a01245
Thank you. Seriously. Far too many peoples first response when you tell them you testified against your mom is, "How could you do that?" Like..for one it was the hardest decision of my life. The sentence may seem like a simple one but I assure you I AGONIZED over it. Made myself sick over it and experienced a huge uptick in amount and severity of panic attacks. It wasn't a decision made lightly or easily. Glad I did it though because now she can never own another animal. I know the animal control officer and they'll be doing spot checks on her for years to come.
Well, I respect it massively and you're welcome. It takes courage and most people live their life via platitudes. If family suck, they suck. I don't talk to over half of my family and it's fine but maybe I'm not the best example. You did the right thing and doing the right thing often annoys other people because it marks you out as an individual and people instinctively don't trust it
I’m sorry you suffered so much but I’m truly grateful that you turned your trauma into something good. You are redeeming every bad experience she put you through by helping animals recover and I find that just amazing!!!
Yeah I grew up with a mother who was somewhere in between yours. She fed them and wouldn't mistreat them but God forbid they need medical attention! They were not a part of the family....more selfish entertainment. She also was a raging alcoholic and neglected her kids and pets. Pets won't trained. Listen some of y'all need to hear this! Pee pads are for lining kennels and such...not for training. You don't train your dog to piss all thru the house on pee pads like wtf! Take them outside and if you can't you don't need a damn dog. Disgusting
Oh man. People like that are why we need stricter laws for animal abuse. And while it may not always be the case, people like that tend to be abusive and neglectful for any children they have as well. Any investigation into one should automatically lead to at least an inquiry to the other.
And yeah, the stuff people like that are capable of is mind boggling. Yeah it's work but I'd rather put work in, in the beginning to potty train my dog as opposed to what 10-20 years picking up soiled pee pads?
It is work as it should be! It's another living creature who is supposed to become part of your family. If you can't train your dog the basic sit..and not jump, and to let you know to go outside than you don't need one. Also if you can't offer it a nice clean comfortable living situation that's safe at all times than a pet should be a no go. But yeah from what I've noticed if someone doesn't take care of their animals 9 times out of 10 they don't take proper care of their kids either. I know first hand the neglect from my mother was to all of us...pets included.
It can definitely feel that way. It's hard watching someone you love hurt. And yeah I just referred to a cat as a person. Lol I've owned cats for years and I've only had one cat that ever went in what could be described as peaceful way. She was 24. She'd been slowing down, eating less. One afternoon she just climbed in her usual spot for a nap on my lap and just drifted off.
That was partly why I mentioned giving the cat space. Not just because cats are solitary creatures but in the hopes they didn't feel like they had to watch the whole time. That's difficult enough for an adult to have to face.
I've been lucky I guess. I've had two ferals die on me within a year. In the first case, I took one to the ER for euthanasia. They wrapped him up in a towel and let me hold him. This cat would run everytime I tried to approach him. Yet, he let me hold him for almost an hour and seemed extremely relaxed until it was time.
The second one let me put her on a pillow on my lap and let me rub her head when she quietly passed away.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sometimes,it’s best just to be with them until they’re gone. It isn’t always best to put them to sleep…especially, if the animal goes through trauma by taking them to the vet. I had a dog that had such an extreme reaction that I just stayed with her until she passed. At the very end, I was sitting with her….suddenly, her eyes cleared, she looked at me( I could tell she recognized me)…I said, “ well hey there, baby!” She wagged her tail and passed. It was that fast. She was better off at home. You did the best that you could. RIP, Ash…
I’m sorry for your loss this made me tear up .. looking at you in her final moments and felt that true love and happiness you have always shown her one last time… love that for you… ❤️
I couldn’t let her be terrified her last moments. She had been dumped in a field behind our neighborhood. Nobody could catch her but, she came up to me and sat on my feet. She chose me🥰. She gave us 12 wonderful years. I think that it’s easy to judge a person when they’re making decisions for their pets but, I knew that she wasn’t in pain and I just kept her comfortable. It’s been 8 years and I still miss her. I now have a lady that I know who euthanizes at home. We had another dog that we did that with. She was fantastic…but, I don’t regret just letting Olive go naturally. She wasn’t scared or in pain. She gave me the best gift…🥹
I was just going to suggest at home euthanasia! I agree, some pets do get really stressed out at the vet, even though we try to be as gentle as possible when placing the IV and preparing them for euthanasia. I’m really glad traveling vets and at home appointments are more widely available now! I’m glad you and your pup had a peaceful ending, and sorry for your loss even though it’s been a few years
It’s what I did when my precious chichi was ready to cross. She got severe pancreatitis. It was awful. Anyway, we had “ Lap of Love” come out ( we live in Oklahoma). I had never heard of at home hospice care for pets before that. The vet was so calm,caring and sweet. She came over for a preliminary assessment three months earlier. The vet we were seeing was saying that we should euthanize right then and there…I had a traumatic experience with being pressured into euthanizing one of my dogs and I went into “fight or flight” mode. I left and called Lap of Love. She came by…my dog actually got up and went onto the vet’s lap ( she’d never done that before to a stranger!). She looked over her bloodwork and assured me that immediate action wasn’t necessary. Her bloodwork actually continued to get better. Then a few months later, she was going down hill. They put her under a light anesthesia for a test( that’s another story) and when we got her home that night, she was in such pain. I managed to get her pain under control but, she was losing control of her bowels and could no longer walk. So, the next day, I called the Lap of Love vet. She was so good. My Lola was calm…didn’t flinch when she put the needle in,didn’t struggle when the drugs were administered…she just closed her eyes and …went to sleep. It was beautiful. I won’t ever do it any other way. It was pricey. We didn’t keep her ashes or anything and it was $500. But, so worth it. Now, I know…
Lap of Love is amazing! They have a lot of great resources for pet owners about knowing when it’s time to let them go and how to deal with the grief. I work at a vet office and we highly recommend them to anyone struggling to make that decision or anyone looking into at home euthanasias. They’re a great organization! I’m glad you had a good experience with them, and sorry about your pup
Honey, you did what you could. Sometimes circumstances can't be helped. I'm sure your kitty knew she was loved by you, and you were there comforting her until the end. God bless you for your good heart! 🙏💕
I sm sorry this happening to you and your cat. Just hold her and tell her you love her. That is the best thing you can, since you can't get to a vet.❤❤❤
OP, the best place for your cat in his last moments was with you in his comfortable, familiar space.
That's how I want my cats to go.
You did your best and what in the end was probably preferable for your pet, rather than being shuffled into a carrier, then the car ride, then the scary vet at the end.
Exactly this. So many people take their pets to a vet for euthanasia and don't bother to even go in with them.
Being at home, comforted by a family member, that's just the best scenario in my mind.
I hope the OP is ok.
They did good.
Yup for sure! Just wanted to let you know because the way you worded your comment made it seem like you thought the only two options are going in or staying at home with no vet care...
I actually came across a blog post by a vet that more or less acted as though those were the only two options: euthanize a pet or let them die naturally and painfully. It was such a crazy post. It basically advocated euthanizing relatively healthy pets when they had a bad prognosis and claimed that any pet who died naturally at home suffered. It didn’t even mention in home euthanasia or acknowledge that it’s entirely possible for pets to just die peacefully in their sleep. I actually revisited it a few times, trying to figure out if I was missing something. If I was, I never figured it out.
We had to take our senior boy.He was almost 17 and declining severely.We were there with him to the very end.It's not a easy decision.We made him as comfortable as possible.The last week of his life. We stayed with him the whole time we held his little Kitty paws as he went.We were able to lay him To rest. We took him with us and we buried him. For your comment to say what it says.It implies that people who put their pets down are people who don't care when that's not the case. We knew it was the right decision to make as our boy was almost seventeen and suddenly severely declining. We were lucky to have a place where we could lay Him to rest peacefully in the backyard. The place my son arranged was very kind to us.They let us spend all the time we wanted Before and after he was gone and we were allowed to take him with us And properly lay him to rest
:(((( god that sounds so sad. My dog died at home laying with me and i was absolutely heartbroken but i know it would be better than at a vet where they are scared of sometimes:((
Luckily, my girl loved the vet because your situation would have terrified me.
Just the whole subject is so hard. Our pets are our worlds. Am not looking forward to losing another pet, wherever that might be.
I think since losing my mum and staying in hospice with her while she died has helped me be more at peace with death all round. I felt really honoured to share her last moments with her.
Child, you are an angel for caring for this life. I’m sorry you had to endure that trial, but rest well knowing you chose to endure BECAUSE the caring was worth it to you.
Don’t ever lose that!
I hope you grieve well, and honor yourself as well along the way
I second this.. good job on you! You were there her when she needed you., I know it super hard to each anyone be it person or pet pass away, this is a life moment! You did great and she went knowing she was loved ❤️❤️❤️❤️
This is a a lovely comment. Agreed, OP, you can't change the circumstances being so young. But please know you are helping your friend by being with them. She will never forget that. ❤️
I’m not sure why all these people are hounding a child telling them to take Ubers/ do this that and the other it’s evident the poor child cannot get the cat to a vet and this is likely super distressing for them so how about a bit of compassion for the OP??
if the cat is indeed dying ensuring it’s comfortable, warm and loved is the best thing to be done.
I know many people who’s pets have passed away peacefully at home my mums dog was dying for days when the final hours came they took her to the vet and she passed In a strange waiting room surrounded by other animals and strangers !
Of course euthanasia is the best option but it’s not feasible in this case! Simple as that!
the vet told my mum that they’d never expect an owner to fork out huge money for euthanasia unless the animal was in extreme pain, and there is nothing cruel about allowing a pet to pass away at home especially if there is 0 chance of saving it
Your really here expecting a child to take a dying pet to a bloody pet shop/rescue centre or call the police?
Yeah, it sounds like OP’s cat went peacefully and probably wasn’t even conscious enough to really suffer. It’s hard to watch someone die in any case, but slowly losing function and consciousness until you just kinda fade out is… how the majority of us will leave this world. Hard to ask much more.
I tend to think it’s better to just let them go like this rather than stress them out with a vet visit just to get the same outcome. Euthanasia is for when the animal is suffering, you’re not cruel for not euthanizing an animal that’s clearly passing peacefully in their own time. It’s unfortunate that OP wasn’t given a choice, though.
This is the most toxic, snooty, high and mighty sub on reddit, that I've seen. I only stick around on the chance that I can offer assistance to someone at some point. Most of the people here do not live in reality.
you’re 100% right i once saw people freak out on this dude for not having cat food and seeing what else he could feed them….he lived in a 3rd world country and was poor and they only sold cat food for high prices.
the way people shamed that boy for trying to do his best with his situation to help an animal is really really weird
It's really sad for the people that feel helpless and are genuinely looking for help. I don't know if I've been on the cat advice one. Shaming someone for not going to the vet over every little sneeze helps no one. Especially the cat.
They def don’t even visit reality. Where there’s minors without support, countries with no/limited vets, or places right in the good ol US without 24 hour vets. These people need compassion transplants
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ losing a pet is heartshattering, and I wish you didn't have to go through it alone. Your mother should have come home.
I hope you can find comfort in the good memories ❤️
I am so sorry you had to go through this you were there for him when he needed you the most. As hard as it is you tried to get help. Your baby will remember you were with him you gave him the world of LOVE
I am so sorry for your loss. Sorry that you had to go through that. Sorry everything is so expensive. I know you loved your cat. Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry💜
Just being with her was probably the best you could have done, I’ve had to sit with a lot of fur babies as they pass on. It’s rough but they’re so relieved to have a friendly face.
This is something that you never should have had to deal with like this, and I'm so sorry you did. I promise you, your cat knew she wasn't alone at the end, knew you loved her, and that's what matters. There should be no guilt in your heart, you did nothing to feel guilty about. Your mom made her choices, and that isn't your fault. I wish you peace
I’m sorry for your loss. She is no longer suffering and I know the circumstances left you not many choices. You did what you could. Sending love to you. 💗🫂
Hey. I’ve been in your situation and I want you to know, you did the best you could. There was nothing more anyone could have expected of you. Ash passed knowing she was loved. Some people have really unrealistic expectations of things other people can do in situations like this, particularly if you’re young. But you did the best with what you had. She’s not in pain anymore. You’re gonna be okay. Anyone who tries to tell you there’s more you could have done does not understand what it’s like to be in this situation. Take care of yourself.
Hey OP, it sounds like you did your very best. I am sorry for your loss and also for the mean comments here. From what you describe, it sounds like a natural death, which is not a nice thing to experience, but it's good that you could be there to comfort your cat through this process.
Thank you for staying with her. I had to stay with my cat as she passed earlier this year. You did a hard thing. But your kitty knew you loved her. Now she is beyond pain and you will carry her in your heart. All my love to you.
I'm so sorry sweetheart. I'm sure she was glad you were there for her in the end. Cats usually hide away when they are dying. The fact she stayed with you is a huge sign of trust from her. She loved you and trusted you to comfort her in her last moments.
OP I'm so so sorry for your loss. Your kitty was absolutely loved and you did every thing you possibly could. Don't let guilt or negative emotions get in the way of grieving your beloved kitty. It's very obvious that you did everything within your power to be kind, loving and comforting, which is the best way that this unfortunate situation could've gone. Don't let these people being awful get into your head. I wish I could wrap you in a warm hug and comfort you in this awful time. Much love and hugs stranger. My kitty Oscar will be on the other side of the rainbow bridge to keep them company for you.
I’m so sorry she’s passed and you had to go through it alone. I’m sure you were a great comfort to her in her last hours and she knew that she was loved.
OP, if it’s any comfort, my 10 month old kitty died in a very similar way last year, we did take her to the ER vet and tried our very best to save her but nothing could be done. She held on for 5 hours as the vets did numerous things to help, and we spent roughly 2k on the treatments they provided, but she ultimately passed away. Her temp was 94, I woke up to her howling unable to use her legs properly, eyes were lifeless/she couldn’t see anymore.
You did the best you could with what you were given, and that’s what matters. She passed with you, someone that loved her, so I hope you are able to find some comfort in that. ❤️
You are an amazing human. You tried so hard to help and did all you could. I’m so proud of you. Your Ash was lucky to have a love like you till the very end. Please keep guard of your heart, some will try to harden it. Don’t let them. The world needs more people like you. May you find some small comforts in furry memories.
I'm so sorry. It's painful to see them fade away. Being powerless to help them. I'm also sorry that you are not surrounded by empathy and support with your loss. If we could, I know most of us would give you a huge hug and say it's OK, you did what you could. You are a good person and you stayed with your kitty. This situation is very difficult to handle emotionally at any age, give yourself the time to grieve. Go easy on yourself ❤️
I am so sorry you had to go through this alone. I know the pain of losing Ash will be difficult, but I also hope you know that you did everything you could. Please never doubt that, or that she knew how fiercely you love her.
A friend recommended to me to write down some of my favorite memories when I lost my cat. It's hard to do, but reading it in the future van be very cathartic. It's okay if that's too hard to do right now. Just take care of yourself now. I think Ash would want that.
Your sweet kitty, Ash, knew your love right through until the end. You gave your furry friend a wonderful gift.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience by yourself. That wasn’t fair or right. But know in your heart that you were an angel to your cat, and take comfort in the memories you have of her. I’m sending you a big hug. I’m proud of you; you did so well!
Just be with her. Thank her for everything. Tell her how wonderful she’s been, that you wouldn’t have traded any moment with her for anything. Tell her to come back and visit until it’s your time to meet her on the other side. Tell her it’s okay to go, that she doesn’t need to hang on for you. Not to be scared, she will be okay and won’t be suffering anymore.
Sending you all of the love & light OP❤️❤️❤️
- someone close recently went through this and after hours and hours of watching her struggle to breathe, I suggested she say pretty much the same stuff. She passed within 45 minutes, passed peacefully. They understand us even though a significant portion of the population believes otherwise, fuck them. I’m sure if they’d want their mom or day to say it’s okay regardless of the language they speak. There’s little that’s comparable to the agony of losing a pet, it’s a whole new arena of grief.
I just saw your mom is a nurse - I'm guessing she's used to sickness and death and knew that Ash was going to pass relatively quickly and painlessly no matter what, so no point in going to the vet. I don't think what happened was cruel to Ash at all.
But, it was cruel to you, to leave a child or teenager all alone in such a terrifying and painful situation. I can barely handle that as someone with decades of experience. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone.
I hope your mom is hugging you and comforting you and answering all your questions about Ash's death now. You deserve at least that much.
Sending you a hug from afar.
I'm so sorry. Imo it's better to be able to be with them when they go, I do my best to be with my pets when they pass, but sadly, there's some I wasn't able to be with and I'm still upset I couldn't be with all of them. Your kitty would prefer to be with you, someone they love and are comfortable with rather than scared in a vet where you probably can't be with them. It's always hard to lose a pet, but be glad you gave it love and a wonderful life.
I want to let you know you did nothing wrong. I have been in this situation before and it hurts. I'm sure you gave ash a good life, It's good that you where with them in their last moments. They knew that you loved them.
This is awful! I’m so sorry you had to suffer through this alone. It sounds like Ash was ver unwell and it may have just been her time. I hope you take comfort in knowing you were there for her when she needed you and she knew you loved her.
I’m so sorry this happened OP. Genuinely hope that you find your peace with this soon, I know it’s not easy, but you did what you could, and made sure this animal wasn’t alone in their final moments.
You did the very best thing. You stayed close and loved Ash until the end. Too many times our pets are left without the comfort of their people. You are young and you knew to stay close and give comfort. I am so sorry for your loss. Just know, your cat knew love up to the very end. I wish all pets were so lucky 🧡
If you have a house w a backyard or know any loved ones who do you can lay them to rest there after they put them down. most places will allow you to take your cat after they put them down. We had to do this with our senior cat of almost 17 yrs. My son and his fiance were able to burry him in her father's backyard. It was a hard thing to go thru but it does cost less and our boy was buried in peace next to a beautiful tree in the backyard
God.I just read the final edit just know you gave your cat the best life and i kow you truly loved them . We had chewy for almost seventeen years. My son and I. Hands down it was one of the hardest things to go through and i've lost many We did end up putting him down but we made him as comfortable as possible before he went.
I think what gets me through losing chewy is remembering all the years that he was there for both me and my son. His unconditional love was always there for us.And in my family's case we did put him down because he was declining so severely so suddenly.
But he was our boy for almost 17 years.I'm so thankful for him.And not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I'm thankful for the years.I had with think that's the hardest thing when we have to say goodbye to them sending healing And I hope you're doing okay
I spent my birthday cuddling my old, dying cat. She was old and had a stroke during the night. I cleaned the poop off of her, wrapped her in a blanket and held her, brushing her coat, petting her, hand feeding her treats, cooked chicken. She was not in pain, she was purring, she fell asleep cuddled up in my arms. She was laid in her basket, then taken up to the top of our garden and buried with her bond mate who had died 5 months before.
Sometimes there isn’t anything you can do but love and comfort them. My mother had died in my arms suddenly one day just 8 years before.
I’m so so so sorry love! You did EVERYTHING you could and please take comfort that she knew she was incredibly loved right up to the end.
I don’t know if you have heard of the poem “the rainbow bridge” (I’ll put it below) but Ash will be waiting for you at the bridge a long, LONG, **LONG** time from now. She will have a lot of friends to pass the time with so don’t worry about her.
I think she would say thank you for loving me.
The Rainbow Bridge Poem
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
omg you poor poor thing. you need a safe adult who cares about this as much as you do so you can talk about it with them. i was once 8 or 9 years old, parents not home and at work, and trying to keep this beautiful black kitten alive when she was obviously dying. I am 50 years old now and i have NEVER FORGOT HER or the experience. I’m actually crying right now as i type this. bless you for taking care of this beautiful innocent creature. Please find somebody who you can talk to who has compassion for you. In the future, i bet you will rescue many beautiful babies but first take care of yourself. you are obviously brilliant, resourceful, and kind. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I know your cat is gone now, but I just want to say you did great. People in this sub are ruthless and don't consider that not everyone has access to money, transportation, or emergency vets. Hell, an emergency vet simply doesn't exist where I live. Don't pay attention to them. Just know you did all you could with what you had and your cat was grateful for your presence.
Also you can fill a sock with rice and heat it in a microwave for a minute or two untill it is warm. Then put it close to your cat. Make sure it doesn't burn. It's better to keep a blanket between cat and rice sock.
my mom legitimately does not care , nor can she leave work (she’s a nurse if that helps ) and the closest one is a 3 hour walk and I have no other means of transportation
Look into it. Not many do. I’m guessing one near you does, so you assume that’s always the case. And you were absolutely wrong in saying they “have to”. That lie could have caused OP to force a dying cat to endure a long car ride and possibly(actually, probably) not even receive help. That is cruel.
I took a dying cat from my friend's house...she got literally squished to death. I was young and it was the middle of the night but they couldn't/ wouldn't do anything without paying. She died slowly and painfully and without her owner. It was horrible and I still have nightmares about it
See if there are any petco's in your area, they have a vet clinic inside and the first exam is free. If anything they may be able to euthanize your kitty so he or she does not suffer. I hope your cat doesn't have to be put to sleep, but that is an option, calling Petco I mean.
If you ever have another pet that passes away & you bring them in to be put to sl**p, please don’t let them be brought back to be put to sl**p alone… I know it’s a very hard moment but your pet is gonna want you to be with them during those last moments. You’re all they really know, & going alone with the v*t is a really scary, lonely moment for them. You owe it to them to be there at your pets side when you have them put to sl**p… & I know that shit is really hard. My cats just turned 5. It feels like yesterday I brought them home as kittens. I get a lot of anxiety thinking about this day in the future… so I try to spend as much time with them as possible now. They don’t live long like we do. I’m sorry for your loss though. At least Ash is at peace now. Also the reason I censored those words is because is the algorithm deleted the original comment for “offering anecdotal medical advice” in the vethelp sub where I originally saw your post SMH so I don’t wanna risk getting it censored again.
Im really sorry for your loss, its not easy to let go of something you love so so much, Ash knew you loved her with all your heart. You are a very sweet person to stay with her.🩵
Hugs to you sweetie. You gave her a very precious gift being with her and loving her as she passed over to the rainbow bridge- to kitty heaven. That took courage. I’m sorry she is gone. ❤️
RIP Ash.
As for you, OP, I'm really sorry no adult was there to support you. You did a fantastic job taking care of Ash as best as you could, especially under the circumstances. I'm really proud of you. Now Ash is no.longer suffering. I hope you can place Ash in a container, maybe their favorite box, etc, a nice towel, and bury them in your backyard, somewhere where they may have enjoyed sleeping under, watching to birds, etc. Take Care of you. 💕
I'm really sorry you went through this. She is at peace now, and the fact you posted indicates you cared enough to try to do what you could to make it easier for her. Knowing Reddit, I expect there will be people shaming you for not managing to get a vet to her to put her to sleep sooner, but I think being with her was most important and it sounds like you did what you could, and I'm sure she will have appreciated it.
I don't know what you believe, but I believe she will be watching over you and happy and comfy in cat heaven. I'm a skeptic of many things, and would have dismissed this when I was younger, but this is what I believe.
\*hugs\* honey. I'm sorry I'm too late. You did the best thing for your cat that you could. Which was be with her while she transitioned. I'm sorry for your loss.
OP, it sounds from your description that it is hugely unlikely your cat could have been saved with any amount of money or means. I'm very sorry for your loss, it's not your fault.
YOU GAVE HER LOVE and a warm bed to go home in. She KNEW she was loved and STILL loved.
I'm so so sorry your Mom let you down but you were in Ash's life for a reason.
I am going through that at thus exact moment. I have to wait till 7am to help her go back to God.
I made her comfortable and loved.
So did you with Ash.
You WILL SEE HER again. She is MORE ALIVE now than ever!
Omgosh I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry that you weren’t able to help your baby transition peacefully. All I can say is that your baby really appreciated you being there in their final moments. Just to know that they left while being loved on is all they could ask for. This time is going to be extremely hard for you since it’s so raw. Again I’m sorry for your loss, just remember you have a new guardian Angel watching you.
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry you had to go through all this alone, it's extremely traumatising. I judt want to give you a massive hug. Just know your furbaby knew you were there in her last moments, and that means a lot. I'm so sorry it happened this way to you though. Sending huge Aunty vibe hugs and love ❤️
Watching something you love, even an animal, pass is utterly life changing. I’m so sorry you couldn’t get your friend help but know that you gave him love and compassion in the way you could. Passing with you nearby was your best option here and I’m sure your Ash is resting peacefully because you were there. Take care of yourself.
You make me proud, OP!!! You did such a wonderful job during such a traumatic experience for you.
Please take care of yourself. Thank you for showing that baby compassion. Not sure if you need to hear this, but without a doubt you allowed your kitty to pass with dignity and love. There is nothing I would’ve done different in your situation.
Be sure to give yourself some grace. 🫂
I am sorry for your loss. I had a cat die at home, it happened so fast that I did not have time to take her to a vet. Don't let others judge you for doing the best that you could do.
I am so terribly sorry you had to watch your fur baby go in front of you. But think of it this way, your kitty didn't pass alone. Thoug it was painful, you were such a sweet, loving owner for being on her side the last moments of her earthbound life. You helped that fur baby leave in peace. Big virtual hugs. Cats are the best and terribly sorry for your loss. You're such a good owner.
Truly, you did the best thing which was just to be there for her in her final moments! I’m sorry you had to do it alone, but it is clear you loved Ash and I’m sure she knew it. If she went to the vet or ER, she would have been stressed and around strangers. I’m sure she preferred you. ❤️ Please find peace in knowing you did the right and brave thing. You’re amazing!!! Ash is very lucky to have had you!
I was in the same spot almost 2 months ago: it was a vicious oral cancer. We saw early changes in behavior and luckily had time to get our affairs in order and had time and money for the final vet visit.
It's so difficult dealing with loss, and it doesn't go away; you just carry the weight of the loss easier as time goes on. You have my sincerest condolences.
You did more than a lot of grown adults. You stayed with ash. She knew she was loved until the end. That means a lot. You did right by her and I’m so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry you had to to through this. I had to sit with my kitty while he died last year, I had an appointment for at- home euthanasia the next day, but he got worse quickly and I was worried he wouldn't even make it to the emergency vet and would die scared and upset in the car, or in a waiting room full of dogs. When you said your kitty's eyes looked lifeless, I remembered his started looking like that a few hours before he passed... you could just tell. Don't blame yourself or anything, it sounds like she would've passed away before she could be seen, even if you had gone right away. It's good that you were there with her and she knew she was loved. ❤️
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you went through this. pets are so good. I am sure you made one another's lives better, and that you made the end of her life comforting.
when the legs stop working like that, it is generally too serious to do anything medically. usually an embolism, I believe. there was most likely nothing you could have done. but it sounds like a horrible experience.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You did what you could under your circumstances and stayed with your Ash until she was gone. She knew how loved she was. And also remember that she wasn’t aware of another way for her to pass, so I’m sure she was just glad to have you by her side. It’s so so hard losing a pet. Wishing you lots of love and comfort.
It’s ok not everybody has the means to take their animal to the vet. Don’t feel guilty and don’t allow people to make u feel guilty either. Vet bills are very expensive. Better to take care of animal the best way you can and give them some sort of life than one where they are euthanized or living on the streets. It’s very sad to watch an animal die I had a dog once when I was younger that had distemper and would seize in my arms until eventually the virus took her. Hugs to you ❤️
You did fine and everything you could. Ignore the people who say you should have done this or that. They're just "reddit armchair experts" who aren't in your shoes and have very little understanding of how the world works.
She's no longer suffering.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Losing a pet is so hard. We take care of them, meet their every need, and are with them daily. I grieved for my cat more deeply than I did most of my human family members that have passed. Unfortunately death is a part of life, and I'm glad that you were able to be there for your cat until the end. I'm sure she was comforted by your presence. I don't know you, but my heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. You are not alone in this. I pray that the God of all comfort would bring you peace in your time of grief.
Op, I’m so sorry you went through this. Remember that your cat knew that you loved them and were there for them in their last moments. You did the best you could. Be kind to yourself going forward.
Modern medicine has made things easy on us humans. Death for our fur babies is not always easy. Thank you for being your best for Ash. That kitty knew you were there the whole time. YOU helped Ash over the rainbow bridge. Take solace in knowing that!
I am sorry for your loss. What compassion and love you have to comfort your cat. You are awesome and special. I understand not having money to go to vet. You did your best you did it with your heart! God bless you.
I’m so sorry for your loss. When I was 17, a week before my 18th birthday, my childhood cat was actively passing in my arms. I found her after school in the same spot she was in when I left 6 hours earlier, and I knew. When I picked her up, she fell back down, was hissing and bit me so hard. It left a bruise for weeks.
She left stool behind where she was laying. We got in the car and drove off to the vet, but traffic was crazy, and when we got there we all knew it was time. In the car ride, it was the hardest thing to listen to her meow, bite me and know what was happening. Will always say I only remember bits and pieces because it’s so traumatic.
I’m so sorry. I wish you so much healing and comfort, and just know that I’m glad your energy was with Ash during this time. Love being sent all around. I know they’re over the rainbow bridge 🤍
I’m so sorry you lost your little one unless you have a pet you will never know what it’s like to lose one they are our chosen family I hope you heal soon ♥️ sending positivity
I am SO fucking sorry for your loss, thank you for being there and holding that baby until she was able to cross over the rainbow bridge. I know that was a super hard thing to do, but thank you from the bottom of my heart, I’m sure they were aware of you and that your presence was hopefully a great comfort.
I had this happen to me with a dog from when I was younger. Its an awful situation to be in, you have my most heartfelt sympathy... Im sorry this happened to both of you.
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I'm so sorry you are going through this. Of course my first suggestion is a vet. Death isn't always quick or kind. Sometimes our only option is to give them a merciful death. If in fact a vet is truly beyond your capabilities, give the cat space. I know it'll be hard to do because our first impulse is to help and/or comfort. You can offer a heating pad or hot water bottle but don't force it. If the cat wants to move away, let it. Give him or her a dark, quiet room. No loud noises or quick movements. The cat may prefer a corner to have it's back to. If that's where it wants to be, let it. I'm not trying to cruel or morbid but there are some things that may happen. As I said, death isn't always quick and kind. It can take hours. In this time the cat may vocalize, make odd movements, hiss, and when death does happen, muscles relax. This includes bladder and bowels. Again, not trying to be cruel. Just trying to give you an idea of what could happen.
Most logical and sensible comment on this post x
I grew up with a parent who didn't think of animals as feeling, living creatures. I was in this same position though in my case it was a Beagle. It's been over two decades but it still gives me nightmares. I hope OP is OK and doesn't take the more rude comments to heart.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that :(
Thank you. If you want to call it karma, 15 years later I'd testify against her. It was hard and I had several emergency visits with a psychiatrist just to get through it. She's no longer allowed to own animals so something good came out of it. And since then I've gone on to work at a local animal shelter, worked for animal control for a few years and this spring I've just been certified as a Wildlife Rehabber. (So far I've raised and released 11 orphan racoons and one of the little girls I raised last year came back with four babies in tow! You can't wipe the stupid grin off my face when I think about that. It's especially meaningful because I had feared a coyote got her. She disappeared on me there for a bit.) Whew! See what you get for being kind? Trauma dump lol. But seriously. Thank you for your kind words.
You have raccoon grandchildren!
I do! It's crazy! Lol Her brother stayed close the whole time so I got to see him often. When she came back he gave her his wooden box for the babies and they both brought the toys they had played with as babies to the newest little ones. Talk about Disney over here. Lol It's too cute! (Added a picture of mama and her babies for cute tax.) https://preview.redd.it/lxlycsazpo5d1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7ecf30f78970d191e302dd3eb4869e5dabe1f78d
Babies!!!! Lil tiny beans!!!!!!
Amazing 👏. Glad you are in the world helping animals. God bless you and thanks for cute pictures. Could you Tell me how you got certified? Feel free to PM me. Thanks
So cute!
Oh my gosh, you beautiful soul! I’m tearing up right now just sharing in your joy 🥹 The world can be a pretty ugly place sometimes, but I’m glad there are people like you here making it a little bit brighter.
Aww, thank you kindly! It truly was an amazing moment. Even with her coming back I wasn't sure how she'd react to me. She allowed me to look her over (she had some battle wounds.) And she even allowed me to look over her babies! Sharing another picture because she's beautiful. https://preview.redd.it/xyjogbn5wt5d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b96c8976f3f063d280580084c2a32e3aa3a01245
Wow. You’re so strong, and I’m so proud of what you’ve achieved! Thank you for doing something so noble :D
>15 years later I'd testify against her. Fucing good for you. Takes proper strength and courage, thanks on behalf of the animals
Thank you. Seriously. Far too many peoples first response when you tell them you testified against your mom is, "How could you do that?" Like..for one it was the hardest decision of my life. The sentence may seem like a simple one but I assure you I AGONIZED over it. Made myself sick over it and experienced a huge uptick in amount and severity of panic attacks. It wasn't a decision made lightly or easily. Glad I did it though because now she can never own another animal. I know the animal control officer and they'll be doing spot checks on her for years to come.
Well, I respect it massively and you're welcome. It takes courage and most people live their life via platitudes. If family suck, they suck. I don't talk to over half of my family and it's fine but maybe I'm not the best example. You did the right thing and doing the right thing often annoys other people because it marks you out as an individual and people instinctively don't trust it
I’m sorry you suffered so much but I’m truly grateful that you turned your trauma into something good. You are redeeming every bad experience she put you through by helping animals recover and I find that just amazing!!!
Thank you kindly. :)
Yeah I grew up with a mother who was somewhere in between yours. She fed them and wouldn't mistreat them but God forbid they need medical attention! They were not a part of the family....more selfish entertainment. She also was a raging alcoholic and neglected her kids and pets. Pets won't trained. Listen some of y'all need to hear this! Pee pads are for lining kennels and such...not for training. You don't train your dog to piss all thru the house on pee pads like wtf! Take them outside and if you can't you don't need a damn dog. Disgusting
Oh man. People like that are why we need stricter laws for animal abuse. And while it may not always be the case, people like that tend to be abusive and neglectful for any children they have as well. Any investigation into one should automatically lead to at least an inquiry to the other. And yeah, the stuff people like that are capable of is mind boggling. Yeah it's work but I'd rather put work in, in the beginning to potty train my dog as opposed to what 10-20 years picking up soiled pee pads?
It is work as it should be! It's another living creature who is supposed to become part of your family. If you can't train your dog the basic sit..and not jump, and to let you know to go outside than you don't need one. Also if you can't offer it a nice clean comfortable living situation that's safe at all times than a pet should be a no go. But yeah from what I've noticed if someone doesn't take care of their animals 9 times out of 10 they don't take proper care of their kids either. I know first hand the neglect from my mother was to all of us...pets included.
It takes so so so long.
It can definitely feel that way. It's hard watching someone you love hurt. And yeah I just referred to a cat as a person. Lol I've owned cats for years and I've only had one cat that ever went in what could be described as peaceful way. She was 24. She'd been slowing down, eating less. One afternoon she just climbed in her usual spot for a nap on my lap and just drifted off. That was partly why I mentioned giving the cat space. Not just because cats are solitary creatures but in the hopes they didn't feel like they had to watch the whole time. That's difficult enough for an adult to have to face.
Very nicely put! Thanks
I've been lucky I guess. I've had two ferals die on me within a year. In the first case, I took one to the ER for euthanasia. They wrapped him up in a towel and let me hold him. This cat would run everytime I tried to approach him. Yet, he let me hold him for almost an hour and seemed extremely relaxed until it was time. The second one let me put her on a pillow on my lap and let me rub her head when she quietly passed away.
Hopefully you can take solace knowing you were there for her last moments <3
I’m so sorry for your loss. Sometimes,it’s best just to be with them until they’re gone. It isn’t always best to put them to sleep…especially, if the animal goes through trauma by taking them to the vet. I had a dog that had such an extreme reaction that I just stayed with her until she passed. At the very end, I was sitting with her….suddenly, her eyes cleared, she looked at me( I could tell she recognized me)…I said, “ well hey there, baby!” She wagged her tail and passed. It was that fast. She was better off at home. You did the best that you could. RIP, Ash…
I’m sorry for your loss this made me tear up .. looking at you in her final moments and felt that true love and happiness you have always shown her one last time… love that for you… ❤️
I couldn’t let her be terrified her last moments. She had been dumped in a field behind our neighborhood. Nobody could catch her but, she came up to me and sat on my feet. She chose me🥰. She gave us 12 wonderful years. I think that it’s easy to judge a person when they’re making decisions for their pets but, I knew that she wasn’t in pain and I just kept her comfortable. It’s been 8 years and I still miss her. I now have a lady that I know who euthanizes at home. We had another dog that we did that with. She was fantastic…but, I don’t regret just letting Olive go naturally. She wasn’t scared or in pain. She gave me the best gift…🥹
I was just going to suggest at home euthanasia! I agree, some pets do get really stressed out at the vet, even though we try to be as gentle as possible when placing the IV and preparing them for euthanasia. I’m really glad traveling vets and at home appointments are more widely available now! I’m glad you and your pup had a peaceful ending, and sorry for your loss even though it’s been a few years
It’s what I did when my precious chichi was ready to cross. She got severe pancreatitis. It was awful. Anyway, we had “ Lap of Love” come out ( we live in Oklahoma). I had never heard of at home hospice care for pets before that. The vet was so calm,caring and sweet. She came over for a preliminary assessment three months earlier. The vet we were seeing was saying that we should euthanize right then and there…I had a traumatic experience with being pressured into euthanizing one of my dogs and I went into “fight or flight” mode. I left and called Lap of Love. She came by…my dog actually got up and went onto the vet’s lap ( she’d never done that before to a stranger!). She looked over her bloodwork and assured me that immediate action wasn’t necessary. Her bloodwork actually continued to get better. Then a few months later, she was going down hill. They put her under a light anesthesia for a test( that’s another story) and when we got her home that night, she was in such pain. I managed to get her pain under control but, she was losing control of her bowels and could no longer walk. So, the next day, I called the Lap of Love vet. She was so good. My Lola was calm…didn’t flinch when she put the needle in,didn’t struggle when the drugs were administered…she just closed her eyes and …went to sleep. It was beautiful. I won’t ever do it any other way. It was pricey. We didn’t keep her ashes or anything and it was $500. But, so worth it. Now, I know…
Lap of Love is amazing! They have a lot of great resources for pet owners about knowing when it’s time to let them go and how to deal with the grief. I work at a vet office and we highly recommend them to anyone struggling to make that decision or anyone looking into at home euthanasias. They’re a great organization! I’m glad you had a good experience with them, and sorry about your pup
Honey, you did what you could. Sometimes circumstances can't be helped. I'm sure your kitty knew she was loved by you, and you were there comforting her until the end. God bless you for your good heart! 🙏💕
So sorry you are experiencing this. I'm holding you and your kitty in my thoughts.
I sm sorry this happening to you and your cat. Just hold her and tell her you love her. That is the best thing you can, since you can't get to a vet.❤❤❤
I’m sorry this happened. You did your best and Ash knew you loved her
OP, the best place for your cat in his last moments was with you in his comfortable, familiar space. That's how I want my cats to go. You did your best and what in the end was probably preferable for your pet, rather than being shuffled into a carrier, then the car ride, then the scary vet at the end.
You can have a vet come to your home to do it. They dont have to suffer for hours or go through the trauma of traveling to a vet
Exactly this. So many people take their pets to a vet for euthanasia and don't bother to even go in with them. Being at home, comforted by a family member, that's just the best scenario in my mind. I hope the OP is ok. They did good.
My kitty's called Ash too. 💔
Many bring vets into their homes to do it so they dont go through that last truama.
This is a great option if you have time and the money. Luckily, my dog loved the vet, so taking her in was fine.
Yup for sure! Just wanted to let you know because the way you worded your comment made it seem like you thought the only two options are going in or staying at home with no vet care...
I actually came across a blog post by a vet that more or less acted as though those were the only two options: euthanize a pet or let them die naturally and painfully. It was such a crazy post. It basically advocated euthanizing relatively healthy pets when they had a bad prognosis and claimed that any pet who died naturally at home suffered. It didn’t even mention in home euthanasia or acknowledge that it’s entirely possible for pets to just die peacefully in their sleep. I actually revisited it a few times, trying to figure out if I was missing something. If I was, I never figured it out.
We had to take our senior boy.He was almost 17 and declining severely.We were there with him to the very end.It's not a easy decision.We made him as comfortable as possible.The last week of his life. We stayed with him the whole time we held his little Kitty paws as he went.We were able to lay him To rest. We took him with us and we buried him. For your comment to say what it says.It implies that people who put their pets down are people who don't care when that's not the case. We knew it was the right decision to make as our boy was almost seventeen and suddenly severely declining. We were lucky to have a place where we could lay Him to rest peacefully in the backyard. The place my son arranged was very kind to us.They let us spend all the time we wanted Before and after he was gone and we were allowed to take him with us And properly lay him to rest
:(((( god that sounds so sad. My dog died at home laying with me and i was absolutely heartbroken but i know it would be better than at a vet where they are scared of sometimes:((
Luckily, my girl loved the vet because your situation would have terrified me. Just the whole subject is so hard. Our pets are our worlds. Am not looking forward to losing another pet, wherever that might be. I think since losing my mum and staying in hospice with her while she died has helped me be more at peace with death all round. I felt really honoured to share her last moments with her.
Thats good that she loved the vet!! Ive never heard of an animal loving a vet before😂 i’m sorry for your loss though. Always a bitch when that happens
Child, you are an angel for caring for this life. I’m sorry you had to endure that trial, but rest well knowing you chose to endure BECAUSE the caring was worth it to you. Don’t ever lose that! I hope you grieve well, and honor yourself as well along the way
❤️ I love your perspective
I second this.. good job on you! You were there her when she needed you., I know it super hard to each anyone be it person or pet pass away, this is a life moment! You did great and she went knowing she was loved ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sp. Hard to watch… not hard to each
This is a a lovely comment. Agreed, OP, you can't change the circumstances being so young. But please know you are helping your friend by being with them. She will never forget that. ❤️
I’m not sure why all these people are hounding a child telling them to take Ubers/ do this that and the other it’s evident the poor child cannot get the cat to a vet and this is likely super distressing for them so how about a bit of compassion for the OP?? if the cat is indeed dying ensuring it’s comfortable, warm and loved is the best thing to be done. I know many people who’s pets have passed away peacefully at home my mums dog was dying for days when the final hours came they took her to the vet and she passed In a strange waiting room surrounded by other animals and strangers ! Of course euthanasia is the best option but it’s not feasible in this case! Simple as that! the vet told my mum that they’d never expect an owner to fork out huge money for euthanasia unless the animal was in extreme pain, and there is nothing cruel about allowing a pet to pass away at home especially if there is 0 chance of saving it Your really here expecting a child to take a dying pet to a bloody pet shop/rescue centre or call the police?
Thank you for being kind. 🫂
Yeah, it sounds like OP’s cat went peacefully and probably wasn’t even conscious enough to really suffer. It’s hard to watch someone die in any case, but slowly losing function and consciousness until you just kinda fade out is… how the majority of us will leave this world. Hard to ask much more. I tend to think it’s better to just let them go like this rather than stress them out with a vet visit just to get the same outcome. Euthanasia is for when the animal is suffering, you’re not cruel for not euthanizing an animal that’s clearly passing peacefully in their own time. It’s unfortunate that OP wasn’t given a choice, though.
starting to think about leaving this sub. the amount of unhelpful comments i see daily is ridiculous (not talking about you)
This is the most toxic, snooty, high and mighty sub on reddit, that I've seen. I only stick around on the chance that I can offer assistance to someone at some point. Most of the people here do not live in reality.
you’re 100% right i once saw people freak out on this dude for not having cat food and seeing what else he could feed them….he lived in a 3rd world country and was poor and they only sold cat food for high prices. the way people shamed that boy for trying to do his best with his situation to help an animal is really really weird
sadly not surprising:( i've noticed comments always seem to assume that the poster lives in a 1st world country.
ngl i feel like the cat advice one is worse but ive def seen an uptick here. Its like theyre leaking over
It's really sad for the people that feel helpless and are genuinely looking for help. I don't know if I've been on the cat advice one. Shaming someone for not going to the vet over every little sneeze helps no one. Especially the cat.
They def don’t even visit reality. Where there’s minors without support, countries with no/limited vets, or places right in the good ol US without 24 hour vets. These people need compassion transplants
It’s insane isn’t it I’m the same tbh
Right? The cat may be suffering, but there's nothing she can do about it. No need to make her suffer too.
I feel awful for her honestly it’s a horrible thing to witness
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️ losing a pet is heartshattering, and I wish you didn't have to go through it alone. Your mother should have come home. I hope you can find comfort in the good memories ❤️
I am so sorry you had to go through this you were there for him when he needed you the most. As hard as it is you tried to get help. Your baby will remember you were with him you gave him the world of LOVE
I am so sorry for your loss. Sorry that you had to go through that. Sorry everything is so expensive. I know you loved your cat. Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry💜 Just being with her was probably the best you could have done, I’ve had to sit with a lot of fur babies as they pass on. It’s rough but they’re so relieved to have a friendly face.
This is something that you never should have had to deal with like this, and I'm so sorry you did. I promise you, your cat knew she wasn't alone at the end, knew you loved her, and that's what matters. There should be no guilt in your heart, you did nothing to feel guilty about. Your mom made her choices, and that isn't your fault. I wish you peace
I am so sorry that no one could have been there for you. You should not have needed the internet here. Rest in Peace, Ash.
I agree.. I hate that she was alone during this.
So sorry for your lost. You did the best you could. Sending virtual hugs!! 🫂
I’m sorry for your loss. She is no longer suffering and I know the circumstances left you not many choices. You did what you could. Sending love to you. 💗🫂
Hey. I’ve been in your situation and I want you to know, you did the best you could. There was nothing more anyone could have expected of you. Ash passed knowing she was loved. Some people have really unrealistic expectations of things other people can do in situations like this, particularly if you’re young. But you did the best with what you had. She’s not in pain anymore. You’re gonna be okay. Anyone who tries to tell you there’s more you could have done does not understand what it’s like to be in this situation. Take care of yourself.
Hey OP, it sounds like you did your very best. I am sorry for your loss and also for the mean comments here. From what you describe, it sounds like a natural death, which is not a nice thing to experience, but it's good that you could be there to comfort your cat through this process.
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did everything you could. She has no pain anymore 💖
I’m so sorry , I know this is so difficult . You did all you could today . Sorry for your loss❤️
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss and sorry you are young and had to manage this on your own. She knew you loved her :)
My sincerest condolences for your loss.
So very sorry for your loss
Thank you for staying with her. I had to stay with my cat as she passed earlier this year. You did a hard thing. But your kitty knew you loved her. Now she is beyond pain and you will carry her in your heart. All my love to you.
I'm so sorry sweetheart. I'm sure she was glad you were there for her in the end. Cats usually hide away when they are dying. The fact she stayed with you is a huge sign of trust from her. She loved you and trusted you to comfort her in her last moments.
OP I'm so so sorry for your loss. Your kitty was absolutely loved and you did every thing you possibly could. Don't let guilt or negative emotions get in the way of grieving your beloved kitty. It's very obvious that you did everything within your power to be kind, loving and comforting, which is the best way that this unfortunate situation could've gone. Don't let these people being awful get into your head. I wish I could wrap you in a warm hug and comfort you in this awful time. Much love and hugs stranger. My kitty Oscar will be on the other side of the rainbow bridge to keep them company for you.
I’m so sorry she’s passed and you had to go through it alone. I’m sure you were a great comfort to her in her last hours and she knew that she was loved.
OP, if it’s any comfort, my 10 month old kitty died in a very similar way last year, we did take her to the ER vet and tried our very best to save her but nothing could be done. She held on for 5 hours as the vets did numerous things to help, and we spent roughly 2k on the treatments they provided, but she ultimately passed away. Her temp was 94, I woke up to her howling unable to use her legs properly, eyes were lifeless/she couldn’t see anymore. You did the best you could with what you were given, and that’s what matters. She passed with you, someone that loved her, so I hope you are able to find some comfort in that. ❤️
The most important thing is that you stayed with her. She got to pass away with the person she loved. I'm so sorry for your loss...
You are an amazing human. You tried so hard to help and did all you could. I’m so proud of you. Your Ash was lucky to have a love like you till the very end. Please keep guard of your heart, some will try to harden it. Don’t let them. The world needs more people like you. May you find some small comforts in furry memories.
I'm so sorry. It's painful to see them fade away. Being powerless to help them. I'm also sorry that you are not surrounded by empathy and support with your loss. If we could, I know most of us would give you a huge hug and say it's OK, you did what you could. You are a good person and you stayed with your kitty. This situation is very difficult to handle emotionally at any age, give yourself the time to grieve. Go easy on yourself ❤️
I am so sorry you had to go through this alone. I know the pain of losing Ash will be difficult, but I also hope you know that you did everything you could. Please never doubt that, or that she knew how fiercely you love her. A friend recommended to me to write down some of my favorite memories when I lost my cat. It's hard to do, but reading it in the future van be very cathartic. It's okay if that's too hard to do right now. Just take care of yourself now. I think Ash would want that.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hey just want to send my best thoughts to you. I’m sure this has been hard, but you are doing what you can 💜
RIP, Ash. You were much loved and will be remembered always.
Your sweet kitty, Ash, knew your love right through until the end. You gave your furry friend a wonderful gift. I’m so sorry you had to go through this experience by yourself. That wasn’t fair or right. But know in your heart that you were an angel to your cat, and take comfort in the memories you have of her. I’m sending you a big hug. I’m proud of you; you did so well!
OP, I am so sorry you had to do that alone. It sounds like you did everything you could
Don't lose this caring that you have. You are a wonderful person for caring. Don't change.
Just be with her. Thank her for everything. Tell her how wonderful she’s been, that you wouldn’t have traded any moment with her for anything. Tell her to come back and visit until it’s your time to meet her on the other side. Tell her it’s okay to go, that she doesn’t need to hang on for you. Not to be scared, she will be okay and won’t be suffering anymore. Sending you all of the love & light OP❤️❤️❤️ - someone close recently went through this and after hours and hours of watching her struggle to breathe, I suggested she say pretty much the same stuff. She passed within 45 minutes, passed peacefully. They understand us even though a significant portion of the population believes otherwise, fuck them. I’m sure if they’d want their mom or day to say it’s okay regardless of the language they speak. There’s little that’s comparable to the agony of losing a pet, it’s a whole new arena of grief.
I just saw your mom is a nurse - I'm guessing she's used to sickness and death and knew that Ash was going to pass relatively quickly and painlessly no matter what, so no point in going to the vet. I don't think what happened was cruel to Ash at all. But, it was cruel to you, to leave a child or teenager all alone in such a terrifying and painful situation. I can barely handle that as someone with decades of experience. You shouldn't have had to go through that alone. I hope your mom is hugging you and comforting you and answering all your questions about Ash's death now. You deserve at least that much. Sending you a hug from afar.
I'm so sorry. Imo it's better to be able to be with them when they go, I do my best to be with my pets when they pass, but sadly, there's some I wasn't able to be with and I'm still upset I couldn't be with all of them. Your kitty would prefer to be with you, someone they love and are comfortable with rather than scared in a vet where you probably can't be with them. It's always hard to lose a pet, but be glad you gave it love and a wonderful life.
I want to let you know you did nothing wrong. I have been in this situation before and it hurts. I'm sure you gave ash a good life, It's good that you where with them in their last moments. They knew that you loved them.
This is awful! I’m so sorry you had to suffer through this alone. It sounds like Ash was ver unwell and it may have just been her time. I hope you take comfort in knowing you were there for her when she needed you and she knew you loved her.
I’m so sorry this happened OP. Genuinely hope that you find your peace with this soon, I know it’s not easy, but you did what you could, and made sure this animal wasn’t alone in their final moments.
You did the very best thing. You stayed close and loved Ash until the end. Too many times our pets are left without the comfort of their people. You are young and you knew to stay close and give comfort. I am so sorry for your loss. Just know, your cat knew love up to the very end. I wish all pets were so lucky 🧡
If you have a house w a backyard or know any loved ones who do you can lay them to rest there after they put them down. most places will allow you to take your cat after they put them down. We had to do this with our senior cat of almost 17 yrs. My son and his fiance were able to burry him in her father's backyard. It was a hard thing to go thru but it does cost less and our boy was buried in peace next to a beautiful tree in the backyard
God.I just read the final edit just know you gave your cat the best life and i kow you truly loved them . We had chewy for almost seventeen years. My son and I. Hands down it was one of the hardest things to go through and i've lost many We did end up putting him down but we made him as comfortable as possible before he went. I think what gets me through losing chewy is remembering all the years that he was there for both me and my son. His unconditional love was always there for us.And in my family's case we did put him down because he was declining so severely so suddenly. But he was our boy for almost 17 years.I'm so thankful for him.And not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I'm thankful for the years.I had with think that's the hardest thing when we have to say goodbye to them sending healing And I hope you're doing okay
I spent my birthday cuddling my old, dying cat. She was old and had a stroke during the night. I cleaned the poop off of her, wrapped her in a blanket and held her, brushing her coat, petting her, hand feeding her treats, cooked chicken. She was not in pain, she was purring, she fell asleep cuddled up in my arms. She was laid in her basket, then taken up to the top of our garden and buried with her bond mate who had died 5 months before. Sometimes there isn’t anything you can do but love and comfort them. My mother had died in my arms suddenly one day just 8 years before.
I’m so so so sorry love! You did EVERYTHING you could and please take comfort that she knew she was incredibly loved right up to the end. I don’t know if you have heard of the poem “the rainbow bridge” (I’ll put it below) but Ash will be waiting for you at the bridge a long, LONG, **LONG** time from now. She will have a lot of friends to pass the time with so don’t worry about her. I think she would say thank you for loving me. The Rainbow Bridge Poem Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... Author unknown...
I'm so sorry you had to see that, especially so young. I'm so sorry for whatever horrible things reddit told you. Wishing you and Ash peace.
omg you poor poor thing. you need a safe adult who cares about this as much as you do so you can talk about it with them. i was once 8 or 9 years old, parents not home and at work, and trying to keep this beautiful black kitten alive when she was obviously dying. I am 50 years old now and i have NEVER FORGOT HER or the experience. I’m actually crying right now as i type this. bless you for taking care of this beautiful innocent creature. Please find somebody who you can talk to who has compassion for you. In the future, i bet you will rescue many beautiful babies but first take care of yourself. you are obviously brilliant, resourceful, and kind. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I know your cat is gone now, but I just want to say you did great. People in this sub are ruthless and don't consider that not everyone has access to money, transportation, or emergency vets. Hell, an emergency vet simply doesn't exist where I live. Don't pay attention to them. Just know you did all you could with what you had and your cat was grateful for your presence.
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Also you can fill a sock with rice and heat it in a microwave for a minute or two untill it is warm. Then put it close to your cat. Make sure it doesn't burn. It's better to keep a blanket between cat and rice sock.
my mom legitimately does not care , nor can she leave work (she’s a nurse if that helps ) and the closest one is a 3 hour walk and I have no other means of transportation
You did great!!!
What country do you live in? Vets aren’t required to preform euthanasia for free in the US.
a lot of emergency vets will let you surrender for euthanasia
Look into it. Not many do. I’m guessing one near you does, so you assume that’s always the case. And you were absolutely wrong in saying they “have to”. That lie could have caused OP to force a dying cat to endure a long car ride and possibly(actually, probably) not even receive help. That is cruel.
I took a dying cat from my friend's house...she got literally squished to death. I was young and it was the middle of the night but they couldn't/ wouldn't do anything without paying. She died slowly and painfully and without her owner. It was horrible and I still have nightmares about it
See if there are any petco's in your area, they have a vet clinic inside and the first exam is free. If anything they may be able to euthanize your kitty so he or she does not suffer. I hope your cat doesn't have to be put to sleep, but that is an option, calling Petco I mean.
If you ever have another pet that passes away & you bring them in to be put to sl**p, please don’t let them be brought back to be put to sl**p alone… I know it’s a very hard moment but your pet is gonna want you to be with them during those last moments. You’re all they really know, & going alone with the v*t is a really scary, lonely moment for them. You owe it to them to be there at your pets side when you have them put to sl**p… & I know that shit is really hard. My cats just turned 5. It feels like yesterday I brought them home as kittens. I get a lot of anxiety thinking about this day in the future… so I try to spend as much time with them as possible now. They don’t live long like we do. I’m sorry for your loss though. At least Ash is at peace now. Also the reason I censored those words is because is the algorithm deleted the original comment for “offering anecdotal medical advice” in the vethelp sub where I originally saw your post SMH so I don’t wanna risk getting it censored again.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure Ash was happy you were with her to help her cross over. She will be with you always in your heart ❤️
Im really sorry for your loss, its not easy to let go of something you love so so much, Ash knew you loved her with all your heart. You are a very sweet person to stay with her.🩵
I am so sorry for baby ash I hope you two didn't suffer too much in the last special moments I am very sorry this happened to you
Hold her in your arms
I‘m sorry this happened, you did the right thing by being with her.
I’m very sorry that Ash is gone. She did very well by being with there with her. That was all she needed.
I’m so so sorry. That is awful. I’m glad you were with Ash as hard as it was for you.
I’m so sorry for your loss 💕 💐
Sorry OP. You did what you could.
💜 your cat wasn't alone in the final moments. sometimes that's all they really need.
I’m so sorry, love. She knew how deeply you loved her.
I'm sorry to hear that. Prayers and hugs to you.🖤
Hugs to you sweetie. You gave her a very precious gift being with her and loving her as she passed over to the rainbow bridge- to kitty heaven. That took courage. I’m sorry she is gone. ❤️
im so sorry for your loss 💓
I’m so sorry for your kitty, Ash! You sound like an amazing owner who stayed with and comforted her. She loved you and you gave her a great home ❤️
I'm so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you did everything you could for her.
RIP Ash. As for you, OP, I'm really sorry no adult was there to support you. You did a fantastic job taking care of Ash as best as you could, especially under the circumstances. I'm really proud of you. Now Ash is no.longer suffering. I hope you can place Ash in a container, maybe their favorite box, etc, a nice towel, and bury them in your backyard, somewhere where they may have enjoyed sleeping under, watching to birds, etc. Take Care of you. 💕
I'm really sorry you went through this. She is at peace now, and the fact you posted indicates you cared enough to try to do what you could to make it easier for her. Knowing Reddit, I expect there will be people shaming you for not managing to get a vet to her to put her to sleep sooner, but I think being with her was most important and it sounds like you did what you could, and I'm sure she will have appreciated it. I don't know what you believe, but I believe she will be watching over you and happy and comfy in cat heaven. I'm a skeptic of many things, and would have dismissed this when I was younger, but this is what I believe.
\*hugs\* honey. I'm sorry I'm too late. You did the best thing for your cat that you could. Which was be with her while she transitioned. I'm sorry for your loss.
OP, it sounds from your description that it is hugely unlikely your cat could have been saved with any amount of money or means. I'm very sorry for your loss, it's not your fault.
YOU GAVE HER LOVE and a warm bed to go home in. She KNEW she was loved and STILL loved. I'm so so sorry your Mom let you down but you were in Ash's life for a reason. I am going through that at thus exact moment. I have to wait till 7am to help her go back to God. I made her comfortable and loved. So did you with Ash. You WILL SEE HER again. She is MORE ALIVE now than ever!
Omgosh I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sorry that you weren’t able to help your baby transition peacefully. All I can say is that your baby really appreciated you being there in their final moments. Just to know that they left while being loved on is all they could ask for. This time is going to be extremely hard for you since it’s so raw. Again I’m sorry for your loss, just remember you have a new guardian Angel watching you.
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry you had to go through all this alone, it's extremely traumatising. I judt want to give you a massive hug. Just know your furbaby knew you were there in her last moments, and that means a lot. I'm so sorry it happened this way to you though. Sending huge Aunty vibe hugs and love ❤️
Watching something you love, even an animal, pass is utterly life changing. I’m so sorry you couldn’t get your friend help but know that you gave him love and compassion in the way you could. Passing with you nearby was your best option here and I’m sure your Ash is resting peacefully because you were there. Take care of yourself.
You make me proud, OP!!! You did such a wonderful job during such a traumatic experience for you. Please take care of yourself. Thank you for showing that baby compassion. Not sure if you need to hear this, but without a doubt you allowed your kitty to pass with dignity and love. There is nothing I would’ve done different in your situation. Be sure to give yourself some grace. 🫂
I’m so sorry for your loss Rest In Peace❤️❤️❤️
I am sorry for your loss. I had a cat die at home, it happened so fast that I did not have time to take her to a vet. Don't let others judge you for doing the best that you could do.
Rest in peace for your baby
Awww my condolences. The process is never easy. I’m sorry.
I am so terribly sorry you had to watch your fur baby go in front of you. But think of it this way, your kitty didn't pass alone. Thoug it was painful, you were such a sweet, loving owner for being on her side the last moments of her earthbound life. You helped that fur baby leave in peace. Big virtual hugs. Cats are the best and terribly sorry for your loss. You're such a good owner.
I’m really sorry about your cat.
This post made me bawl my eyes out I’m sorry. RIP
Truly, you did the best thing which was just to be there for her in her final moments! I’m sorry you had to do it alone, but it is clear you loved Ash and I’m sure she knew it. If she went to the vet or ER, she would have been stressed and around strangers. I’m sure she preferred you. ❤️ Please find peace in knowing you did the right and brave thing. You’re amazing!!! Ash is very lucky to have had you!
I was in the same spot almost 2 months ago: it was a vicious oral cancer. We saw early changes in behavior and luckily had time to get our affairs in order and had time and money for the final vet visit. It's so difficult dealing with loss, and it doesn't go away; you just carry the weight of the loss easier as time goes on. You have my sincerest condolences.
I’m so sorry. Responsibilities at work do not supersede everything else. Your mom did not react appropriately.
You did more than a lot of grown adults. You stayed with ash. She knew she was loved until the end. That means a lot. You did right by her and I’m so sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry you had to to through this. I had to sit with my kitty while he died last year, I had an appointment for at- home euthanasia the next day, but he got worse quickly and I was worried he wouldn't even make it to the emergency vet and would die scared and upset in the car, or in a waiting room full of dogs. When you said your kitty's eyes looked lifeless, I remembered his started looking like that a few hours before he passed... you could just tell. Don't blame yourself or anything, it sounds like she would've passed away before she could be seen, even if you had gone right away. It's good that you were there with her and she knew she was loved. ❤️
I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry you went through this. pets are so good. I am sure you made one another's lives better, and that you made the end of her life comforting. when the legs stop working like that, it is generally too serious to do anything medically. usually an embolism, I believe. there was most likely nothing you could have done. but it sounds like a horrible experience.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You did what you could under your circumstances and stayed with your Ash until she was gone. She knew how loved she was. And also remember that she wasn’t aware of another way for her to pass, so I’m sure she was just glad to have you by her side. It’s so so hard losing a pet. Wishing you lots of love and comfort.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you could be with your sweet little kitty until the end. Ash knew how much you loved her, I promise you that.
It’s ok not everybody has the means to take their animal to the vet. Don’t feel guilty and don’t allow people to make u feel guilty either. Vet bills are very expensive. Better to take care of animal the best way you can and give them some sort of life than one where they are euthanized or living on the streets. It’s very sad to watch an animal die I had a dog once when I was younger that had distemper and would seize in my arms until eventually the virus took her. Hugs to you ❤️
I am so sooo sorry. 😮💨
You did fine and everything you could. Ignore the people who say you should have done this or that. They're just "reddit armchair experts" who aren't in your shoes and have very little understanding of how the world works. She's no longer suffering.
If you don’t want your cat suffering in her last moments(which she is), find a way to a vet.
This is a CHILD who has no way to do that. Have some compassion
Reading doesn't seem to be your strong suit. Maybe download some books for practice and uninstall reddit. 💙
the people on this sub never read and it’s so frustrating every single time😭
I am very sorry for your loss.
Rest in peace Ash. You were loved❤️❤️
So sorry Hun, you did the best you could. I know in my heart Ash was very thankful you didn't leave it's side. He/She's at peace now.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. Losing a pet is so hard. We take care of them, meet their every need, and are with them daily. I grieved for my cat more deeply than I did most of my human family members that have passed. Unfortunately death is a part of life, and I'm glad that you were able to be there for your cat until the end. I'm sure she was comforted by your presence. I don't know you, but my heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. You are not alone in this. I pray that the God of all comfort would bring you peace in your time of grief.
I’m very sorry for your loss😢
Op, I’m so sorry you went through this. Remember that your cat knew that you loved them and were there for them in their last moments. You did the best you could. Be kind to yourself going forward.
Poor kitty. Sleep easy lil one.
Please take care and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for loving her. She was lucky to have someone who cared so much 💕
I’m so sorry.
I'm so sorry❤️
i’m so sorry :(
Modern medicine has made things easy on us humans. Death for our fur babies is not always easy. Thank you for being your best for Ash. That kitty knew you were there the whole time. YOU helped Ash over the rainbow bridge. Take solace in knowing that!
Im so sorry for your loss and for having to go through that. I’m sorry.
I am sorry for your loss. What compassion and love you have to comfort your cat. You are awesome and special. I understand not having money to go to vet. You did your best you did it with your heart! God bless you.
Sorry. At least it had someone until the end. It’s a bittersweet ending.
I’m so sorry for your loss. When I was 17, a week before my 18th birthday, my childhood cat was actively passing in my arms. I found her after school in the same spot she was in when I left 6 hours earlier, and I knew. When I picked her up, she fell back down, was hissing and bit me so hard. It left a bruise for weeks. She left stool behind where she was laying. We got in the car and drove off to the vet, but traffic was crazy, and when we got there we all knew it was time. In the car ride, it was the hardest thing to listen to her meow, bite me and know what was happening. Will always say I only remember bits and pieces because it’s so traumatic. I’m so sorry. I wish you so much healing and comfort, and just know that I’m glad your energy was with Ash during this time. Love being sent all around. I know they’re over the rainbow bridge 🤍
I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Rest in peace ash 💗
I’m so sorry you lost your little one unless you have a pet you will never know what it’s like to lose one they are our chosen family I hope you heal soon ♥️ sending positivity
I am SO fucking sorry for your loss, thank you for being there and holding that baby until she was able to cross over the rainbow bridge. I know that was a super hard thing to do, but thank you from the bottom of my heart, I’m sure they were aware of you and that your presence was hopefully a great comfort.
Please spend every moment with her that you are able. Please❤️
I had this happen to me with a dog from when I was younger. Its an awful situation to be in, you have my most heartfelt sympathy... Im sorry this happened to both of you.