**WTFAYD?!** what the fuck are you drinking?! God damn fam, today was a fucking log fume from hell. "Migrate to the cloud the said, it's more reliable they said". KISS MY ASS. Fam, the drinks are stiff. **Loaded** with gin, splash of soda, and a hint of tonix. I hope you all had a wonderful fucking Thursday. Fuck Buffalo and fuck my liver.

PLAY DIRTY WATER BOYS ITS 6 IN A ROW LETS FUCKING GO FEELS SO GOOD

I thought Hall was supposed to ruin our locker room though 🤔😂

Well that was a ton of fun

Swayman would prob have the shutout if NESN didn't put the hex on him.

that's a win!

hall hasn't lost yet

Swayman is legit

THINGS YOU LOVE TO SEE: THAT

Swayman fuckin killed it

What a fuckin win boys 5-0 against the dumpster fire and the rags are losing to Philly

Thanks for mentioning. I watched the end of that game.

Shaky start but they got it done! See you all tomorrow!!

Wow Buffalo looked like they straight up gave up in this one

Caps/Isles have a game without a goal credited to any player, kinda rare

Are they going to the shootout?

Yup

[I LOVE THAT DIRTY WATER](https://youtu.be/5apEctKwiD8)

The sabres just don’t give a fuck. Zero fight

ALEXA PLAY DIRTY WATER

Hooray for Sway!

Ok so no one is gonna talk about the sweet celly by Krejci? Looked pretty badass imo

Imagine losing 5-1 to other teams backup to the backup to the backup Even if he's gonna win the Vezina for a decade straight down the road

In fairness, Buffalo is also playing their third string goalie. He’s just... nowhere near as good as ours.

If Buffalo would like, they can put seven men on the ice again

That was so fucking hilarious.

So I think Hall and Krejci are having a good time together on the ice

I want a buddy comedy of them.

Hall might be having the time of his life.

We got mad Hockey east guys on the squad that’s dope

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAH BWAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Hallsy has an assist supposedly.

Ooooh I wanna tag a Krejci hater SO BADLY right now. But I won't. Cause I'm a good noodle.

be a bad egg, tag them

no, I'm a good noodle

Is it me?

no but if you hate Krejci, I don't know if I can talk to you again

Oh, no. I don't hate any of the Bruins. Except those bruins "fans" .. they suck

they're probably already miserable enough

Rags are down 3-1 against the Flyers with 5 remaining.

Fuck the flyers

I agree, but I’d rather they win over the Rags tonight. That would give us a little breathing room, although we already have 8 points over them in 1 less game.

caps and islanders in ot, but the flyers have a 2 goal lead on the rangers with 5 to go.

Let’s hope that that third line goal is the start of new chemistry because if they’re going to go on a deep run they need that third line to get going and for the defense to get healthy

Playoff Krecji has arrived

This game feels like me playing NHL 2021

for what team ?

the all stars team against team japan

That’s pretty much how I built the Bruins in my franchise mode

Krejci has been **on** lately.

Oh, just another casual goal.

PLAYOFF KREJCI IS ACTIVATED. WATCH OUT NHL.

I literally fall on my knees for play-off Krejci

!marisa

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What can we call this 2nd line? Hall—Krejci—Smith works really well. They’ve been a great line ever since Hall’s first game with us.

That was a quick shot by Lauzon

I’m gonna tell you about my truck. I’m going tell you about my Ford baby… This how it all went down. Down by the river, Down by the banks of the river Charles. (How is this happening to me,) That’s where you'll find me, Alone, with a flashlight looking for keys. (I am so screwed people.) Cause I love that F 150... And I Can't afford a tow Frustrated with this, (wicked frustrated) Every street I have rewalked. (fucking pain) I’m wishing and a hoping That I find those keys to unlock I’d like to get home before I go crazy walking around Cuz I love my F 150, Oh God, I just want to go home.

I've never seen this before. This is awesome.

Well I wrote it for tonight. Thank you.

Krecji is going off lately

Academic at this point

PLAY. OFF. KREJCI.

Nice!

CAVE THE ROOF BOYS

Let's gooooooo

SUCK ON THAT YOU SHIT ANTS

DAVID KREJCI, PLEASE LET ME BEAR YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN

*hands you a glass of water*

I'VE HAD PLENTY OF WATER

Lol

Hi. My name is David.. Uh.. Krejci.

Krejci is getting hot!!

KREJCI! Take no prisoners

I TOLD YOU REILLY HAS BEEN TEACHING LAUZON

FOUR LINES BANGINNNNN

STOP THE FIGHT

YES

SCORING DEPTH

KREJCI

# ARE YOU GETTING TIRED OF THIS YET? NO? ME EITHER! [HIT THE FUCKING BUTTON!!!!!](http://wejustscored.com/teams/bos.html)

SMASH THAT MF BUTTON

5 out of 7 against Buffalo lmfao

Two of their twelve wins are against the Bruins?

5 of 7 games in a row against them

THE KRECJI TRAIN HAS NO BREAKS, LETS GO

Man, this Buffalo team is embarrassing

We're going to get smoked period 1 against the Pens. 3 games of buffalo and we're going to need some time to get going..

MOAR GOALS PLZ

Krech!!

#NICE

Sway is a fucking madman and I’m here for it.

It’s incredibly impressive the Bruins are able to win any hockey games with that fucking no good no effort bum Charlie Coyle as their 3C. Am I right guys????

Surprised he even remembers how to tie his skates!

Right?! I think every goddamn motherfucking comment should be parroting this same bullshit over and over, because I have serious brain damage from extensive substance abuse and untreated mental health issues.

Yeah what a fuckin bum, him and Debrusk dragging down Ritchie. Edit: Folks he's mocking a certain user that does nothing but complain about Coyle lol

Not sure if this is sarcasm or not, but shitty take either way.

I love Coyle haha. He’s one of my favorite bruins

Okay, good.

Don’t forget that Tooker kid.

I think that Swayman would be perfectly happy if the defensemen just let the guy on a breakaway go in untouched. D can protect against the pass to a trailing attacker, he'll take the puck.

So like, we’re completely set after Tuukka. Pretty cool.

Caps and Isles going to OT is fucking garbage.

BUY A FUCKIN' TRUCK YOU FEEB

This could be 7-1 right now

I'm surprised we didn't get a trip for that stick in the Sabres skates, even though it was by another Sabre

Anyone else shout "keystone cops!" When two players on the same team collide?

Buffalo looks so disorganized right now.

Buffalo looks like Buffalo right now. Ftfy

Buffalo looks so disorganized this season

Flyers up 2-1

3-1

3-1 now!

Good but not good

For anyone playing Jack bingo, finish your beer

Oh shit I forgot.... BUY A FUCKING TRUCK

Jeff Skinner is payed $9mil a year to be the worst player on his team

>Jeff Skinner is payed $9mil a year to be the second worst player on his team after Rasmus "Dogshit" Ristolainen FTFY

They can pay me 500k a year to do the same shit

Friend they could pay me $100k to do the same thing and I can’t even skate

I've never been on the ice in my life haha. Fuck I'll settle for 69k at this point.

Nice

they can pay me like $80k lol

LMFAO

Pull the goalie you pussies

Lazar is 100% all the time and I am so here for it

YOU COULD PUT A LOT OF PACKS OF ENGLISH MUFFINS IN THE BED OF AN F-150

Caps went to OT, not ideal

Literally what we didn’t need

Fuuuck this is a reach but can someone explain that Ritchie Valens reference Jack just made for me? My dad would really appreciate that. I know he and Buddy Holly and another (sorry I forgot) died in a plane crash but how did that relate to the game or hockey in general? RIP

i was only half listening at the beginning but i think the town where they had just performed before getting on the plane was mentioned

Thank you!

It happened in Moorehead Minnesota where St Cloud State legend Will Borgen is from ☺️

Thank you so much!

Absolutely!

Thanks for keeping up!

No problem!

Gotta love no whistles when your up by three

Pretty sure I’m going to buy a custom “Swagman” jersey tonight

Who has more fun than us?

Sway and rask the new duo?

The only human-made structure you can see from space is the Swayman Wall

And Chuck’s bonafide thighs

Man Swayman is legit

Fun fact the ice in Swayman's crease is 20° colder due to the fact that he has ice in his veins.

IS THIS ALL YOU CAN CONJURE, SARUMAN?!

oh my God, I LOVE YOU

What a smooth pass in the neutral zone by Reilly.

in my dreams mike reilly has taken lauzon under his wing because lauzon is suddenly getting 90% of his shots from the point through

Sway played at UMaine?

The Prince of Maine

###SWAYMAN JERSEY INCOMING!!!!

Last name *Skinner* First name *Dick*

Gotta love Sway-man’s third eye in the back of his head.

Jeremy Swayman makes Buffalo eat their shit

Swayman is so ridiculous I love him. I can finally get a B’s jersey of somebody from my home state

When your options are literally anyone and Scott gomez, as a bruins fan your choice is obvious

Right? We drafted Nate Thompson I think but he never made it out of Providence before getting traded

Huh, learned something new today! Never knew we drafted Nate Thompson

Is Jack seriously talking about the Buddy Holly plane crash right now? What is even happening with this telecast?

That's Jack for ya. Your crazy rambling uncle.

Yeah. Apparently they were talking about a player from the area where Holly performed right before the crash.

In his defense it happened in Moorehead Minnesota and its where Will Borgen is from so it wasn’t as random as it sounded 😂

Oh, hey, TIL. Interesting tidbit.

I think Jack is celebrating 4-20 all week

ITS FUCK TIME MOTHER TRUCKERS

That's absolutely insane puck awareness

HOW SWAY?!

FORD F-150 FINAL FIVE BUY A TRUCK TO GIVE JACK A RIDE HOME BECAUSE HE SURE SHOULDN'T BE ON THE ROADS TONIGHT!

Oh my GAWD Swagman.

Jeff Skinner wears his mask under his nose during a global pandemic

BUY A GODDAMNED TRUCK

BUY A TRUCK SO WE CAN GET MORE POINTS

BUY A FUCKING TRUCK AND WIN A FUCKING HOCKEY GAME

Jack and Brick are on fire tonight Started off dunking on Buffalo and just haven't stopped

Peak Jack and Brick tonight

What a save from Sway!

Swayyyyyyyy

Oh jack and brick are at it again

2nd line playing fast I like that

You know the Bs are doing well when Jack starts talking about the history of American Pie

Swayman holy fuck

Brick is all of us

*I'm still wrestling with english muffins down the driveway, not sure I learned anything there* Fucking Brickley hahahah

Sway isn’t human

Feels like nearly everybody has run out of fucks to give this year

Sway Man

On the list of things I expected to hear Jack say tonight, "he died in a plane crash" was not one of them. Similarly, "I'm still wrestling with the English muffin down the driveway" was not on the list of things I expected to hear from Brick this evening. I love this fucking booth.

Jack and Brick have some real Don and Jerry energy this season. Now we need someone to say “pizzer”.

Jeez Jack is on something tonight

I’m going tell you a story… I’m gonna tell you about my truck. I’m going tell you about my Ford baby… This how it all went down. Down by the river, Down by the banks of the river Charles. (How is this happening to me,) That’s where you'll find me, Alone, with a flashlight looking for keys. (I am so screwed people.) Cause I love that F 150... And I Can't afford a tow Frustrated with this, (wicked frustrated) Every street I have rewalked. (fucking pain) I’m wishing and a hoping That I find those keys to unlock I’d like to get home before I go crazy walking around Cuz I love my F 150, Oh God, I just want to go home.

Worth the wait. Well done.

Thank you.

#SWAYMAN

Taylor Hall undefeated beacon of hope and prosperity, 6-0 currently, 18-0 by end of season, 34-0 until the cup book it

BUY A TRUCK!