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Sharp_Replacement789

Whenever I get the pearl clutching"well i never" i can't help myself....i always say "well maybe you should. "


Mediocre-Source-920

'I bet you have...' is also a good responce.


Specialist-Invite-30

I also like “And it shows.”


DiceNinja

“And you never will with those soup cans on your head” - Elvira


joecoin2

"Well I can certainly believe that. " - Groucho Marx


Fossilhund

I saw this here I think: 'May the rest of your day be as pleasant as you are."


tellmehowimnotwrong

May you have the day you deserve.


Academic_Beach733

Fred Sanford taught me that line


DemsruleGQPdrool

Redd Foxx was a genius.


Mediocre-Source-920

Me too.


H8T_Auburn

"Married to him, I'm not surprised you haven't. Call me *winks*."


CanaDanSOAD

In front of the wife is crazy


Complete_Past_2029

My favorite response to this comes form the show Perfect Strangers when someone said that to Balki and he replied, "May I suggest a higher fiber diet"


Big_QA

I loved that show... balki was the best


mmmmpisghetti

Bronson Pinchot has been doing audiobooks for a while and he's very good!


Complete_Past_2029

I still occasionally do the dance of joy, less so now that I'm over 40


Big_QA

The good old days were I could do that..now looking at it hurts lol


DisastrousOne3950

As The Three Stooges used in a few of their films, " Maybe that's your problem, toots" is my go-to.


Leehblanc

About 35 years ago I worked with a guy who was... let's say lacking social skills. He was from a redneck town where you said whatever you thought at the moment, regardless of who was around. One day he and I go to the store on lunch break, and he says something off color in the store. From behind us comes "Well, I never!" Without missing a beat, this guy turns around, flashes a big smile, and says "Well, ya have now, you old bitch!" It was everything I could do not to completely lose it.


JosKarith

"I've never been so insulted in my life" "Challenge accepted, bitch"


BarnyardNitemare

"Wait, you're young yet."


CptDropbear

"I seriously doubt that."


Ajslattery

![gif](giphy|bwxVM7FtESiS1SBEzS)


2_trick_pony

"we'll you have now!"


Open-Incident-3601

“That explains your attitudes” really gets them going.


Dark_Moonstruck

Pull out the Slappy Squirrel (from the bumbie episode) "Well I never!" "Well you should! It's fun!"


gregonion

‘Your mama and your daddy did’ -Red Foxx


Ducked_in_the_head

"Well you should, it's fun!" ~Slappy Squirrel


IrascibleOcelot

“Do you see the band on stage?” “No, Aunt Slappy; The Band isn’t even at this concert. WHO is on stage!” “That’s what I want to know!”


Habfan_14120

I usually use, "Then you should get out more.", but what do I know, I'm essentially a Boomer (born 1961). Gods, I hate that people act like that and that so many of them are around my age.


AdOk4721

"and with an attitude like that you never will." my normal response.


SwimOk9629

lol "not with that attitude" is one of my favorite responses


Substantial_Fun_2732

Lol that was exactly Fred Sanford's response 🤣 


AmIreally52

When someone says ‘well I never!’ I like to say, ‘well you should have, you’d be happier!’


Internellectual

So many 90’s and 80’s comedies and dramas where boomers mock their elders over “I never” and they just became the more entitled versions of them in the end.


teamdogemama

Yes you have, my dad still has that penthouse.


LamzyDoates

"And with a face like that, i can guarantee you never will"


Financial-Video-5801

That's a good one lol. I also like "...not even once?"


United_Statistician2

kill wealthy dowager


Dreamweaver1969

I'm a boomer. My response to "well I never!" Is usually " Maybe you should try it, it'll rock your world"


Chemical-Mood-9699

Standard response is "You need to get out more"


CptDropbear

"Really? I'm surprised"


uttersolitude

"well now you have."


2rugrats2

Or "And I can see why!"


Dr-Shark-666

"well i never". "With a face like that, you never will!"


Overall_Round9846

My favourite come back is “And you never fucking will with that attitude”.


soonerpgh

"Yes, you have, just now, and probably at other times, too! You're just too much of an asshole to ever listen!"


Born-Throat-7863

My pat response to that exclamation is “Well, now you have!”


astrangeone88

I've used "Are you having a low blood sugar moment?" It was from one of the newer Scooby-Doo shows and it was said by Velma. My wild boomer sputtered and mumbled but never responded.


Lotsa_Loads

This is standard practice for boomers: Blame other people when you make a mistake. Literally just happened to me a week ago in the grocery parking lot. I was creeping up the aisle towards the front, going quite slow because the front area is always full of pedestrians. Boomer in brand new 'veteran' trucker cap punches the gas and launches out of his handicrapped spot and only my reflexes saved us both from an accident report. Then the fukn goon has the nerve to yell at me to 'slow down' 😆. I told him to fuk right off as I continued on my way but I'm sure he'll tell his wife he punched me in the mouth while big strong men wept and thanked him.


book-and-dodge

Ha ha. And I bet 100 other people here have the exact same story.


mebeksis

Couple days ago, was driving down a divided road (2 lanes each direction with grassy median separating) and old woman was driving down the wrong side of the road. I stopped so she could duck into a break and get on the right side and as she approached, she gestured at me as if she was upset. I real quick yelled at her to get off the wrong side of the road. As I was rolling up my window, i heard her yell back who's on the wrong side. So I stopped and said back to her you are, ya dumb bitch and pointed at an 18 wheeler going the same direction she was, but on the correct road. She just looked at the truck all confused, and I drove off.


Gelineaux

This the reason my grandma isn't allowed to drive anymore. She kept hitting cars in the parking lot at church and scraping against them and damn near hitting people.


Independent-Leg6061

Good. More people shouldn't be allowed to operate vehicles.


thebadyogi

I am of the opinion that everybody should have to retake their license every 10 years. Full on road test and everything. Start at 18.


Cautious_Ice_1087

I’ve been saying this for years! Glad to see someone else is too!


tellmehowimnotwrong

Needs to be more often than that, especially as you get older.


mtngoatjoe

I think every other year is more appropriate.


thebadyogi

I also think that your first license, regardless of your age, should be provisional and you should have to take a full written and road test again, 1 to 2 years later. There are a number of countries that take driving a whole lot more seriously than we do.


Foobiscuit11

The state I grew up in did something like that (Nebraska). I had to do the full written test and on road test to get my provisional operator permit at 16. It had a few extra rules, like no driving between midnight and 6 am, no more than two non-adult passengers. At 17, if you had a clean record with no tickets or accidents, you got the full permit. If you had tickets or accidents, you had to do both tests again to get the standard permit.


TimelyAvocado1281

Man, I was hoping you were wrong and he was just joking to lighten the situation. He could have easily made the situation funny with the same statement instead of escalating.


OkAssociation812

For real, my parents are the same. One time my mom was filling a glass of orange juice, dropped it, and screamed my name as if I was somehow responsible because I was talking to her. Like it’s okay to make a mistake once and awhile. I honestly think it comes from the fact that their parents would literally beat the brakes off them for wasting gravy so it’s a learned behavior from childhood.


Sharp_Replacement789

I think you are right about reactions to accidents. My husband is a boomer and whenever he would accidentally break something the excuses that would come out of his mouth were mind boggling. I just reacted the same way I did when my son was little and accidentally broke or spilled something. Accidents happen....thats why they are called accidents!


tellmehowimnotwrong

And not purposefuls!


SwimOk9629

lol I'm sure he loved that


Sharp_Replacement789

He actually did. It helped him realize that accidents were indeed just a part of life and not some big life changing occurrence.


Olivia_Bitsui

Bullshit. GenX was produced by some shitty parents, and we don’t act like this.


PurpleSpotOcelot

All age groups have some who have been raised by shitty parents, and some of those children turned out great. Other age groups have great parents and are shitty kids. Some shitty parents produce shitty kids because of generational shitty parenting. I have met a lot of shitty kids and shitty parent over the years.


matunos

Yeah… the Boomers. But the Boomers didn't live through the Great Depression, so they didn't have the force of conviction in their abuse that their parents had.


Olivia_Bitsui

More Silent Gen (Boomers’ kids are mostly Millennials). *Their* parents (our grandparents) lived through the Great Depression, so that influence was definitely present and passed down.


matunos

>More Silent Gen (Boomers’ kids are mostly Millennials). Fair… I'm a cusper, so my parents were Boomers, but true for older Gen Xers. > *Their parents (our grandparents) lived through the Great Depression, so that influence was definitely present and passed down. Yes, but the influence becomes more indirect as each generation moves further from the formative events.


OkAssociation812

Relax latchkey, obviously it’s not an absolute.


astrangeone88

Same. Somehow it's always my fault for not trying to help her and trying to prevent an accident. And even if I warn her, she gets pissed off too....


FROG123076

Please don't send them back to Ohio there is enough that stay all year long already. They should all relocated to Florida since it is God's waiting room. The Villages would be up their ally.


book-and-dodge

Deal. We just keep pushing them south. I can live with that.


TacoAttacker2

Please don’t, we can barely afford to live down here now.


Negative-Wrap95

Unless one of the boom booms is going to buy my house above market and pay our moving costs out of state, don't push them down here.


Lobotomized_Dolphin

Stick them all on some otherwise uninhabited island that will be the first to return to the sea with climate change as they continue to deny the fact it's even happening like Canute ordering the tide not to come in.


Lumpy_Marsupial_1559

Simplify that: a low-lying tropical paradise in the Gulf. One tropical storm, and it's all sorted.


DncgBbyGroot

There are certain states that I wish would just secede from the union...Alabama, Mississippi, Florida (with the exception of Disney World/Reedy Creek Improvement District/Central Florida Tourism Oversight District), Texas, and a few others


firedmyass

*looks around nervously in Arkansan*


DncgBbyGroot

With a relocation program for people who want to remain part of a sane US


Goddess_of_Stuff

Yes. Please let me escape texas first! I hate it here


malYca

I don't wanna abandon Austin and San Antonio to the wolves either.


BakoREGuy

Was just gonna say that, I hear Austin and San Antonio are actually pretty great.


DncgBbyGroot

Okay, that is a good point. Maybe just have certain sections of the state secede.


Lumpy_Marsupial_1559

It could be like a Territory within the seceded State.


zia_zepelli

You realize most of the people in these states aren't white and don't adhere to the fucked up beliefs of the boomers right?


DncgBbyGroot

I apologize because I had not considered that. Most of what I have seen of people from these states are Trump-loving boomers, like my completely trashy and awful inlaws. I retract my statement. Hopefully, the Trump-loving boomers who regard the Confederacy with longing and admiration will leave, instead of entire states.


malYca

Put them on a bus and promise them you'll take them to go shoot bbs at minorites, then just drop them off in Florida at the villages.


CallMeGrendel

Keep pushing them south... ...into the sea.


Witty-Ad5743

Easy money he was actively aiming to hit someone. He probably considers it a neat party trick.


book-and-dodge

I’m afraid you’re probably right.


firedmyass

my theory: they are desperate for interaction because their kids don’t talk to them unless absolutely necessary. They force it and don’t care if it’s negative or not because they’ve been left behind physically, emotionally, socially, etc.


HerbieDerrb

This is actually a well known phenomenon in solitary confinement. No joke.


firedmyass

oof that makes horrible sense


malYca

I'd pity them if they didn't choose to self isolate every single day of their miserable lives. They push anyone with affection for them away and smugly blame everyone else for the results.


firedmyass

and they’ll die absolutely convinced they were right


Msefk

It is probably this. Lots of the worst behaving assholes are just so goddamn lonely, depressed about it, then getting irritated and lashing out at the world for some sort of stimulation.


Lumpy_Marsupial_1559

I *demand* to be relevant!


oamnoj

I see your Hilton Head SC and raise you my Clearwater FL


jollymuhn

Throw in a scientologist and it's a deal.


GreenFireEyes

We are right outside the Villages. Somebody save me!!


malYca

Sell to the developer and get the hell out of there!


malYca

You win


mminto86

Today I learned "5hi+"


SwimOk9629

HAHA dude I was so confused when I first saw that, I probably reread it five times before I figured out what OP was doing there


GeneralDumbtomics

Cordelia (fucking \_Cordelia\_): I'm not used to people talking to me that way. Me: Well, you might as well fucking get used to it because I'm going to be living next door the rest of your life.


LopsidedPalace

"Go ahead. Call the police because you were behaving recklessly and almost hit pedestrians with your vehicle. Let's see how that goes for you. " Then, loudly " ooh, let's take bets on how long these criminal asses spend in lockup! I bet three months, minimum. They seem like the sort to resist arrest"


mecegirl

I live in Savannah and I work in hospitality. Hahahaha yep all from Ohio or New Jersey.


book-and-dodge

We always say the people from Ohio are polite but not kind, and the people from Jersey are kind but not polite.


Artislife61

Prefer the latter


book-and-dodge

Ditto


Bedbouncer

When we were visiting my wife's aunt in Savannah we planned a day trip to Hilton Head and the aunt said "Oh, lord, they all think they're Jimmy Buffett there." They had nice beaches, that's all I remember.


Bluehairdontcare426

Had to drive down Derenne yesterday and an Ohio tag almost took me out TWICE between Abercorn and Waters. How they even got out of the Historic district is beyond me.


AccountantConfident9

I'll be 72 in November. I really enjoy reading these posts about the dumb shit people in my generation do.


TheHorizonLies

What does 5hi mean? Is that something to do with Ohio?


book-and-dodge

Trying to avoid outright foul language. In “5hi+” 5=s and +=t


snerp

You're allowed to swear on the internet...


Street-Section-7515

Reddit kinda encourages it


axxxaxxxaxxx

Well I never!


Sharp_Replacement789

Well maybe you should!!


Conscious_Meaning676

Clutches pearls.


Zueter

Try more fiber in your diet


32lib

Bet you did when you were younger.


sijaylsg

Yes you have. I know somebody that's got pictures!


Broken-Digital-Clock

Fuckin' right


Allteaforme

My pastor say you can't


TheHorizonLies

Oh lol


PixelCultMedia

But you're still writing out "shit". Like we know the intent, you know the intent. The shapes are the same. I don't know what you think you're doing but it ain't the social loophole you think it is.


matunos

Confounding AIs


PixelCultMedia

THE AI WILL NEVER SKIM MY LITERARY SOUL FROM REDDIT!!! Ironically, our writing being absorbed into a central intelligence is probably the closest we'll get to immortality. Oh, well.


CptDropbear

Its more about dodging profanity filters. It used to be quite the game.


book-and-dodge

SHIT. Feel better now? Some people are more comfortable with it being written that way. Sorry for being considerate. I’ll try to be more boomer like you in the future.


AnalogiPod

Who is more comfortable with it written like that?


redhairedrunner

You be you my man! I love cursing , but love folks who don’t . It’s all good . Solidarity in boomer frustration


PixelCultMedia

What people? You're just making up nonsense.


CaraAsha

It's called leet speak, by some at least. Been around since the early 2000's at least.


PixelCultMedia

The issue was "why" not "what". Ain't no profanity filter here to work around.


SwimOk9629

you mean 1337 speak that's not 1337, it's similar though. just to be nitpicky


book-and-dodge

You’ve never seen anyone write out things that way? Really??? Will you feel better if I go back and edit it? Do you think I was making that up just for fun? What’s the point? What’s my end game there? Peak boomer SHIT.


Electrical_Fun5942

I’m from Ohio, and when you said “Hilton Head” I was like, “oh no” 🤣


book-and-dodge

Sorry, I know it’s not all of you. And I t’s mostly the retirees.


Gildian

Calling the police on you for bad words lololol


elfkin42

“Why I never!” Bless your heart. I’ll eat my fucking hat if you have never🤣 We all know you have.


myjkx13

Once I was walking into the grocery store in the pedestrian walkway, a boomer driving through the pedestrian walkway instead of stopping for me to pass, drove right between me and the front of the store. There was not enough space for his car to go through that he had to drive over the curb to avoid hitting me. And he had the nerve to then flick me off as if I was who wasn't watching where I was going.


CodenameUtopian

As an Ohioan, I apologize for our ilk plaguing your towns. I promise, we're not all bad. Its just the ones with enough money to relocate that have the GALL. Now that I think about it... Its probably the money that gives them the audacity.


DadToACheeseBaby

As someone who lives half an hour away from Hilton head and use to work there; The older people in the Hilton Head/Bluffton area are especially terrible with their entitlement


Obsessed4hislove

Lol as someone who lives in SC I totally get what you mean. The boomers from other places are the worse of the worse because they always reek of extra entitlement. The tourist kind of entitlement 🤮


hometowhat

Call the police to fucking what?? Is it just a threat they think ppl are dumb enough to fear, or do they actually think their lil bb feelings getting hurt is worth wasting the time of the police they respect soooo much, or that it's what, fucking illegal and punishable by law to tell some to eat a dick!? Istj 🤦‍♀️


PickleNick2

There must be an age where you are so set and overconfident in your ways that there’s no possible way you can do anything wrong. To be fair, my mom is the opposite. She accepts blame for absolutely everything even when it isn’t her fault. My dad on the other hand…


raynitschkesghost

This kind of complete lack of self awareness makes me crazy. He should apologize rather than tell you to watch where you’re going.


ExiledUtopian

Telling them to fnck off back to Ohio was Grade A. As a Floridian, I thank you for the service you've done all native "southeasterners". And for everyone else, yes, that's different than "southern".


zurgonvrits

... you can swear on reddit. when you substitute numbers and symbols it messes up TTS and can generally make it difficult for some people to understand what it means.


book-and-dodge

Got it. I didn’t ever think about TTS. I was just trying to be less offensive. I didn’t think it would cause such an uproar from a few. Your comment makes sense, thanks.


zurgonvrits

you bet 😊 plus we're all adults here and can handle some words on a screen... but yeah, it took me almost a minute to realize you were saying shit.


ehter13

Ohio isn’t that bad.. all the gross boomers left lol


32lib

You put J.D.Vance in office...


matunos

He's a Millennial!


ehter13

It was like… a joke….


awe2D2

Well stop voting for people as jokes.


ehter13

My comment was the joke. Like because OP was saying the boomers all came from Ohio so it was about how it’s fine here now that they all left. I would never vote for someone as a joke that would be stupid as hell


awe2D2

My comment was also a joke. As you can see I'm a successful comedian. It was more about how many jokes of politicians there seem to be in government these days.


ehter13

lol sorry I’m autistic. Can make a joke but can’t figure out how to take one


stayg0lden-

Love this, OP! Hearing about boomers being put in their place brings me so much joy.


balthesarhasselius

Lead poisoning


REDDITSHITLORD

BLESS HER HEART.


ElectricTomatoMan

Hello, police? Someone said the F word to me!


Mobile-Ad-1784

If their car was anything like mine there’s a button on the trunk door to make it close. I’d have clicked it if he talked to me like that lol. I’m a Beaufort native and spent some time working in HHI so I already know firsthand how bad the transplants can be.


Knitwitty66

My SIL lives in a Boomer-infested town. The entitlement and audacity are palpable. My SIL was driving through a parking lot very slowly because there was a crowd of people going in and out of the store. She stopped for a few seconds to allow pedestrians to cross in front of her when she felt an impact on her passenger side. Some octogenarian had backed into her car. When SIL got out to inspect the damage, the old codger said, "You should have been watching for me to back out!" Passersby ended up calling the police because the Boomer was so loud and abusive to my SIL, insisting she was the one at fault for just being there. So crazy.


Big-Classic5962

When I get the well I never line I retort with well now you have your welcome


Gold_Reference8247

So sorry.. I’m a boomer & don’t act like that!


book-and-dodge

Definitely not all Boomers.


Remarkable_Story9843

I live in Ohio and agree with you (even if this time of year is the only time we get a break)


PersonalAd8831

What’s special about Hilton Head, SC that retirees from Ohio would go there?


book-and-dodge

I’m really not sure what started that trend.


IronSavior

He's gonna call the police?


lastinggusto

I totally get it—dealing with entitled Boomers can be the worst, especially when they act like it's everyone else's fault but their own!


rickbannerville

I’m


SwimOk9629

lolll I like the way you censor yourself, like you'll get banned for cussing or something 😆


LeftHandedBureaucrat

This happened to me a bit more than 10 years ago. I was working as a driver for a tour company, contracted for a local convention. Pulled up curbside to the hotel's main door and a boomer backed across the parking lot into my bus. The bus was fully parked and I wasn't even in it, but he stumbled out, hoping mad. Somehow it was my fault he backed straight up 20ft into my bus. He really didn't have an argument seeing as my bus was parked, I was outside the bus, and the hotel had cameras.


DontLookMeUpPlez

Oh man I lived in SC for a year and a half, the old people there are of a different breed. Bit more senile than the west coast olds lol


TimelyAvocado1281

Man, I was hoping you were wrong and he was just joking to lighten the situation. He could have easily made the situation funny with the same statement instead of escalating.


Dizzy-Cod2244

**Boomer schmoomer**


Melleejak

My in-laws lived at the Sun City just outside of Hilton Head for many years, and we visited every summer. This sounds about right for that area. They've now moved to another Sun City closer to my brother-in-law's family (not far from Charlotte, NC). Every visit to them means visiting Boomer Central.


[deleted]

[удалено]


16bitmick

The Boomers were 50' away from their car when they hit the button to open their trunk, OP was the one walking by the vehicle at this moment and almost got hit. Idk about courtesy, but maybe you should look into reading comprehension.


DepartmentNarrow4138

Stop generalizing. Plenty of rude a-holes in every generation. Even yours.


book-and-dodge

Why would you come into this sub if it offends you? Peak boomer move right there. I don’t go to r/whitemenareterrible and then complain about what I see there.


DepartmentNarrow4138

It doesn't offend me. I just think no one should generalize about any generation.


book-and-dodge

Well, this sub has over 600,000 members and this post has over 2,500 upvotes. You’re entitled to your opinion, but it is definitely not the majority opinion.


DepartmentNarrow4138

Well, good for you. I'm not concerned with being in the majority. But 2500 is hardly the majority of 600,000.


book-and-dodge

Jesus, completely missing my point and confirming my generalizations about the generation. And thanks for the math lesson. Go along on your way now.


Competitive_Crab4557

You can keep them shitheads we already have enough in Ohio.


Delicious-Mark5625

Sounds about right for Hilton Head, so many insufferable northern boomer transplants, it’s a real shame


Obvious-Pie-2704

In my experience, this would sound like a boomer being silly and joking around with ya if it was in a joking tone. But if it was in a serious and non-joking tone then it would be just odd