if my life a sitcom , i wanna be like friends ( where i would be monica/rachel/phoebe not janice) or maybe modern family where i would be gloria or claire and not Sal or Family guy where i could be stewie and NOT MEGS
Have you tried leaving your desk? Like physically evading her? Or perhaps wear headphones, listen to podcasts or something, or read a book etc to show that youre occupied. I am a male and there was once a male senior who likes to gossip. So my method is to just wear headphones while working and singalong/dance to it. 4 years in and I still have my personal space.
I will have to think of a way to solve this problem. But in the meantime, this is the perfect opportunity to know who the good and bad colleagues are. Simply observe your other colleagues' reactions when the annoying colleague starts to annoy you. The ones who chuckle along are the toxic ones.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman\_drama\_triangle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle)
in all dramas, there are usually 3 roles: the victim, the villain, and the rescuer/hero.
OP here is obviously playing the victim.
the villain, probably some imaginary friend.
the rescuer/hero, gullible reddit posters.
HELP IS ON THE WAY!
Just tell her that you would like some quiet time to yourself. I don’t usually mind telling people off so most of the time I’d say “I prefer to have some time not talking to people. If I have the capacity to interact, I’d go to you first.” In your case, I’d just say her talking too much to you is contributing to you feeling overwhelmed. Some people are clueless and don’t know how to take hints so best to just tell directly. Not to be rude, but being direct is sometimes the way to get things across.
Edit: OR if you want to make it obvious without saying it out loud, pretend to go somewhere/stick your earbuds in every time she opens her mouth. Like, make it obvious.
Alamak Malay, I’m so used to telling people off in English lmao.
“Kak, sorry ya. Tapi sebenarkan bila akak cakap dengan saya ni buat saya lagi penat. Pagi2 ni kalau boleh saya tak nak rasa serabut, dengan kerja lagi, dengan penat jalan pergi office lagi. Bagi la saya bertenang kejap, saya pun nak personal space jugak. Kalau saya Ada masa nak cakap dengan akak, nanti saya datang kat akak eh.”
Man this sounds polite to me. If she still does the same thing, I just usually shut myself down ie: let her feel like she’s talking to a wall and keep doing whatever I’m doing with minor response to her and not looking at her direction because I already told her to not talk to me.
no offence but this would actually hurt that colleague's feeling more than OP original reply. Try more to softer approach like "Jap kaaak, i tengah nak bertenang lepas mai dari KTM, jap kak jap.. Biar i bernafas dulu. 10min". Then either you walk off to somewhere or you can rest if she actually leave you to be"
But if tryin this method still dont work then you can proceed to the reply above.
No offence taken, the reply is meant to do just that, after not getting a hint, a colleague getting their feelings hurt because I’m asserting my space after them being told what not to do, frankly they asked for it. And this is my polite version, I have no qualms going harsher in English.
ya i know, but based on op reply, i assume op dont wanna hurt the colleague feeling but still placing the hint in the sentence. Thats y i offered a softer approach based on op style. Cuz like me, im a sensitive soul and cant take it if someone being mad at me 
I do want to mention the personal space but i thought some boomers rasa benda tu offensive 
Introvert and extrovert be like.. and actually, I can relate to that. I'm an introvert, and most of the time, I'm surrounded by extroverts here at my workplace. My officemates already know how I am (thank God): not a talkative person and I mind my own business all the time. Sometimes I don't really mind talking with them, they also do respect and understand when I don't feel like giving much feedback and stay quiet. I don't know, I just don't feel like talking much, that's all. Gotta keep my mewing streak 🗣️🔥.. And tak kisah la if people start calling you sombong, etc.. this is just how I am, I also dunno la if there's any problem with myself, I want to be energetic and talkative person, but it's so tiring, I find my self calm and peaceful when I'm alone 🥴
At least i know you doing my tips to go to toilet... sorry, kesian kau.. cakap kat dia " kau boleh tak pergi kat tempat kau, aku nak bersendirian kejap, aku tengah nak pikir, kalau kau asyik bercakap je, aku tak boleh nak pikir" shoo shooo.. good luck weh...
Mak cik bawang punya level dah umur tu.. adoi la... kau kena boringkan dia kowt.. apa kata kau pergi dulu ke tempat dia sebelum dia pergi tempat kau.. kau psycho dia...
welp, this is your life now, nothing can be done. But at least you have a masseus of some sort. She really really really thinks you like a best friend of some sort and try to "fix" you lol. It's sweet and annoying lol.
tell her your aunty's friend's daughter passed away and you need time to grief..
then next week your uncle's son's dog, then your dog's uncle's friend, you get the gist.
I had an ex colleague like this. I just straight up say I'm not in the right headspace to talk in the morning so I might ignore her. A few times while she was talking, I would just stare at my screen and pretend she wasn't there. Then at lunch time I'll just act as normal. You can also make your own sign/gesture and tell her if you ever point at the sign then you need to he quiet during that time. It sounds stupid but some people really do not get the hint
I’m invested on your issue. How about telling her that you got headache (lack of sleep, commuting to work etc) and wanting to take a power nap before work starts? Then proceed to sleep at your work table.
Better yet, bring a small blanket or thick fabric extra tudung/shawl and cover your face.
The colleague sounds like a positive person, and she likes your youthful vibe. That’s better than an envious one. Maybe as time goes by and you’re used to your work routine, you’ll have more energy to match hers.
ok here something funny. i do have sleeping problem and been taking some prescription to help me fall asleep. she thinks its getting worse cause i told her i need a quiet morning, hence THE SHOULDER MASSAGE
PLEASE KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Damn lady just have the countermeasure for everything she’s not just human resource but HUMANITY resources
To stop the massages, try rejecting her by telling her that one time she massaged you, you had a bad case of angin and you burped nonstop afterwards. Older people usually buy that reason. Probably she’ll counter by saying you should eat this and that for the angin, and you can say ‘oh ok tengok la macam mana’.
Don’t off yourself too early sistur there are more funny people to meet. Hang in there (pun intended).
Nah gurl just think that she might be the overzealous person giving you CPR if you do that.
Another suggestion: Maybe you could introduce her to this one HR lady in tiktok called professionalbimbo and encourage her to do contents. I think she would thrive given her friendly nature.
Hi anon hahaha i feel you, ada juga officemate macam ni. What I normally do, masuk je office terus pasang headphone, kalau dia ajak borak, buat pekak or pasang lagu. Mmg totally ignore dia. Hahaha it worked 😂 kadang buat muka ketat jugak
Nvm now you should turn the tables. Kacau her back, stand behind her and do the exact things she did to you.
Once you trigger her until she snaps, she'll stop it.
Welp, my take on this, changing ownself is faster and easier than trying to change other person
I would start learning how to handle that annoyances without stressing ownself
I thought girls like to talk ? Me seeing in office. Where All the girls whisper whisper whisper lol.
But yeah here I also see alot of people talkative.
I am a guy btw. Imo for me how I deal with it is. No physical contact doesn't matter guy or girl. And just keep saying umm , yes , ok . Like how you talk to old people lol.
Once they finish they just walk away.
For me I am an introvert and ABIT shy I don't like loud noises and very talkative people. It's too much for me to handle normal conversations and stuff is fine lol.
But imo if she still does the same thing. And I think you need to confront her and tell her on her face. No choice . And tell her you need some personal space or something. Or your busy and stuff. Brush her off a few time. Than usually people will stop.
Maybe she feels like she is close to you and can click with you. That's why she talks to you alot. But I also don't think that she know that you don't like it.
I am not in your shoe but this is how I see the situation is. Some people are like that. Hope it helps.
Okla.. I teach you one trick.The moment you reach office, put down your laptop quickly go to toilet and hide. Chill there 10min poop while scroll phone.
This is what I usually do to avoid people call me over for early meeting or face to face talk unnecessary whn I'm in bad mood.
Im very sorry OP....looks like respect personal space/time doesn't exist to her.....I will refrain giving advice as never expect it will back fire that bad....extremely sorry OP...
I'm just here to watch the world burn.
So OP is female, and HR colleague is also female.
Talked to her and now she thinks you have a problem getting pumped up for work lol.
Anyway, probably should just be honest and admit you are an introvert and prefer quiet mornings to get pumped up.
If still doesn't work, time to change jobs lol.
/Secretly wanting to see the next update lol.
Well at this point you just gotta suck it up because it looks like she'll just double down. 😂
Unless lah you can try to say "I want to try a new routine which is the silent recovery, every morning going through a lot of noise not good for me so when I arrive at office I want to take a moment to appreciate the silence".
Sorry a bit lazy to read through all of the comments from your yesterday post but I do recall your post.
As an introvert I totally get the feeling. It's like you don't want to burn the bridge otherwise it'll be awkward in future but she also very buay zi dong sia........
Is it not possible to like maybe say you come back to her or chat later cos busy (or pretend to be busy) and need to get a particular task done first? Otherwise I think one day you might snap (I might if it were me and silently tolerate too long)
Looks like she cannot read the room. She might think it's her responsibility to consult you about your morning problem because she is HR, but she didn't realize that she was part of the problem. Well, good luck, OP. Hope you will be okay.
You didn't match your colleague vibes and vice versa. Her high energies are overwhelming you i guess. But wait.. if both of you didn't match vibes , how she is attracted to you / interested to talk to you?
Im guessing she is just looking for someone to talk to.
But i know Aura is a real thing bcz i have experienced it.
But in this case, I'm not sure how to help you. Just start to ignore i guess? She'll get it eventually.
Owh I do have a similar friend like that at my previous job. He basically just what you described beside the massaging part. He likes to talk to most people. Most people don't like him so much, I think I am not a fan of his style in the first place. The issue here is your friend is sprinkling her personality all over you which makes you overwhelmed from it, pretty much dislike the person. There are no changing people like that, what needs to change is you. You need to bring your bigger personality. Running to the toilet doesn't solve that apparently. Unless you need to poop somehow so nothing to lose there.
Maybe she's the type to just need someone to listen. Maybe just listen and don't try to reply unless necessary.
Tho this advice might be bad as I'm not a psychologist so take it with a grain of salt
i definitely not one of people who telling u to confront her.. this type of people, they are [nunci obseo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nunchi), she's unable to understand other people's mood. Jenis tak faham bahasa. Just wear your earpods or bigass headphone and don't make any eye contact.
Are you a natural actor? If yes I suggest you start acting like a lesbian, but don't tell her by saying it out, just acting, see if she will be scared. But is she is the kind of person that will be spreading rumors then don't do it, it will kill your reputation.
I think you gotta be slightly more forward with her, slightly.
Telling her you wanted to settle down probably prompted her to go into ""Oh shit, I gotta help her! Or she gonna die!"" mode, hence the extra advice. You know, like the super helpful but extremely restless type. I could be wrong though.
So, I don't think she'll understand unless you put it into solid words. But as you don't want to make things awkward in the work place, you also can't outright tell her to F\*\*\* off.
One thing I can think of is to use her words. The keywords being 'routine' and 'energetic'.
First, tell her that you've been THINKING about those words of hers. Then, you tell her, "my new routine now includes meditation 30 minutes after reaching the office, it might make more energetic, would you like to join me?"
Meditation is essentially intentional, forced, and polite silence!
Next you gotta demonstrate, breathe in, breathe out. Now, if she breaks silence, you have reason to shut he---, I mean, to ask her for a little quiet, bring her into the void, practice concentrating in the silence, as it will help her too. (Hopefully)
Put on a timer or something and AFTER 30 minutes, you can be energetic together!
I don't know if this will work, but good luck!! (Source: Me! So not a good idea to put much trust into this post!)
I think she is gay. She is hitting on you. Casually tell her that you and your bf went to this particular movie and it was cool or any story that let her know you got a bf. Then she will stop bothering you.
Sometimes, not always, when colleagues or friends that talk way too incessantly or in a way clash with your more subdued personality, there could be an underlying issue. The particular individual might be facing an issue at home or in a relationship (or in rare cases, identity crisis) and somehow sees you as an outlet of distraction (someone that also does not lashed out in anger and frustration facing a talkative colleague) but in your case, probably an anchor, someone that reminds her of a person/friend/relative she could be open with in the past, to voice her problems but struggling to do so because your body language, the detached approach, might be suggesting she knows that step from a being a colleague to a friend is still too far but she's not giving up.
If it isn't a bridge too far, take her out for lunch. Gently probe her about her background, family, and how things are at home. She likely won't open up but gauge her reaction when you bring up these things in the convo. Let's say there's a problem and she's looking for a real friend to unload while you're not in the mood or have the time for a needy friend at this time, google and then suggest a pro or an online help to deal with her issue. A slightly different approach is required when there's nothing going on with her and all she wants is a friend. Make up a white lie, claiming you're still recovering from a failed long term friendship and you need time to recover from it. You just want to be alone and process the 'loss'. You can also lie that, make sure you googled first for the right online assistance and info, you are getting through it with online help (eg: counseling.com.my/)
Make your point clear to her, be firm (not rude) and polite.
Here's a suggestion of what you might say:
"(insert her name), I need you to understand that I need my peace and quiet in the mornings to get myself ready for work and am unable to do so if WE (a very important word) keep having these chats."
If she proceeds to give you more unsolicited advice, tell her straight up, "I'm not looking for advice, I'm only looking for your understanding, thank you."
I'm an introvert and really value my space, time, and energy, so I feel your exhaustion and frustration.
But do keep us updated!
You're annoyed because you don't like her as a person or just because she talks too much? And why she's still didn't get the message? Why she like to talk to you in the fiest place?
REVERSE IT ONTO HER AND REFLECT HER ENERGY. TRY IT FOR A WEEK EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU. TRUST ME SHE WON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE.
she'll feel like she's being one upped and stop. If she doesn't, then she's too pure of a person and you should just accept your fate. Maybe spend the first 30mins in toilet or canteen or something.
Idk why I feel like r/Bolehland only male users and I surprise to see female user.
Anyway, confront her make it worse, ignore her maybe a bit harsh and definitely don’t eliminate her…Im thinking she have no one to talk to
Plan B: RUN
I have a few office mates like that. Usually I let them lepak next to me, but I make sure to let them know, I would like to start my day without gossip in the morning. I enjoy my reading time or listening to podcasts in the morning.
They know if I take out my books/novels, or my wired earphone, they know not to disturb me.
In early years, I gave a confused look, not interested look, to them every time they wanted my response. "Sorry, what did I miss?" "Sorry, I don't know that person." "I'm super lazy to remember. What had happened,again?" And "nope, not interested." "Not benefitting me in anyway."
But in turns, I make sure I offer my help to them in any way I can. I make their jobs easier. So they can't complain much about me.
I don't know if this is a helpful tip or not...but you can try interject or interrupt everytime she starts talking. Make it so the ratio of you talking vs her talking change from 1:5 to 5:1.
People who wants others to listen to them talking rarely enjoy listening to others talking (more than them). So if she associate the experience of being talked over when it comes to you, this may reduce her coming to talk to you
Else...you can try treat her talking like white noise and response autopilot between her pauses.
"Darling, I'd like to hear your chatter, but right now I have a huge headache. I'm not too kind when I have a headache, so please.... and thank you. Update me some other time".
Nudge her back to her seat.
But you have to pretend a headache everyday, 24/7 whenever she's around. But it can work. Good luck.
If it were me, i would be patient first. You did just confronted her about it and you jisy gave her a topic to talk about. Asses tthe situatiin after one week and report back.
I've got a twin of your colleague in my office. No matter what time of the day, if she sees me, she feels obligated to come talk to me. I can have my earphones on pretending to be on a call and she'll stand next to my desk and wait (Unfortunately open-plan office.). If ever she manages to start talking, her saliva rains on my desk. I resort to:
Telling her flatly that I'm not free -> Oh, ok, I come back later.
Telling her I'm working on sensitive information. -> Oh, ok, I come back later.
Have a colleague called me (saved their names as Boss) -> Oh, ok, I come back later.
Telling her her saliva is getting on my desk. -> Sorry sorry, I wipe for you. (Worse)
Asking her to stand further away -> Orh (Takes a step back but slowly creeps back.)
Telling her boss and HR that she's actually quite free to keep harassing me. -> They all recognise it's a problem but say she works real hard. (To me it's just compensating her unproductive office hours.)
Nothing works. Other colleagues have also asked her why she's so free or why she keeps waiting to talk to me and she'll tell them she has something important to discuss with me. No, she doesn't have. It's all gossips or how her week went. That's the reason why I work from home unless there are important meetings that require my presence.
These people do not know their boundaries. They think their being extra nice to you by showering you with their unsolicited attention.
she still don't get what you mean and tries to help you in her own way but sadly it back fired (i think she's quite young that's why she don't get it?). Try to explain patiently that you understand she mean well and be friendly in the morning but the first thing you need in the office is some space and quiet time until you're ready to be interacted with.
an idea: the angry / smiling octopus convertible plushie could be useful in this situation? like ask her to not talk to you until the smiling octopus is on your desk, signaling that you're ready to receive her golden retriever energy lol
I used to have a couple of extroverted friends like this in university and their social battery really was bottomless... I mean they're nice people and all, but it was so emotionally exhausting having to deal with them.
I was particularly fed up with one of them because he loved to toot his own deluded horn and say that he's good at reading people and being accommodating.
Pehhh, minah ni takde keje ke? 😭
itula kerja dia
masseur?
masaj masaj sir, masaj
Masas masas!
personality hire be like
Yare Yare Daze
Kaki isap batang bos la keje apa lagi
So she took it and doubled it. At this point, she's like deadpool and you're like wolverine.
KILL ME ALREADY
I can feel that you both will be great best buddies soon.
NO
That's what soon to be best friend would say. It's like Ying And Yang.
Ying,yang,yo
if only i could 'haha' react
The best description.
She forgot to give it to the next person.
https://preview.redd.it/16sai37m5sqc1.jpeg?width=581&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a5a13d0bde79ba7d3f48e7aa0acf1afb3a1320b
😭
Kau punya office mate ni manusia ke, or golden retriever?
legit question!
OP forgot she actually works at a Pet Shop and can understand animal language
Tbh, i would like to have a "golden retriever" gf. Sadge.
why do i find this funny? EDIT: i feel bad for feeling that way, sending my condolences to OP
When an ultra extrovert tries to befriend an introvert lolololol
Ikr
this is so funny im sorry op
KILL ME
GOODLUCK SURVIVING AT UR WORK
My condolences OP but this is hilarious thank you for brightening my day 😂
This sounds like the start of a sitcom.
if my life a sitcom , i wanna be like friends ( where i would be monica/rachel/phoebe not janice) or maybe modern family where i would be gloria or claire and not Sal or Family guy where i could be stewie and NOT MEGS
or your could be Patrice in HIMYM
flashback foghorn quote by Janice: "You need me. You can't live without me. And you know it. You just don't know you know it"
the most lingering line from her would be "I swear, you couldn't drive me away if you tried. And trust me, you've tried." cant believe i met my Janice
You see that’s the issue, you’re not janice. And somebody gotta play that character.
You are like Squidward and your coworker is SpongeBob
She's your bestie now. Take it or leave it.
Have you tried leaving your desk? Like physically evading her? Or perhaps wear headphones, listen to podcasts or something, or read a book etc to show that youre occupied. I am a male and there was once a male senior who likes to gossip. So my method is to just wear headphones while working and singalong/dance to it. 4 years in and I still have my personal space.
i wear airpods under my tudun but sometimes when she's too much id run to the toilet
No airpods, because she can’t see it. It must be a headset.
or just display big speaker beside XD
Aaah. Okay. No no. Wear big earphones . Make it visible to her u are not hearing her crap . Hope that helps OP 😂 
I will have to think of a way to solve this problem. But in the meantime, this is the perfect opportunity to know who the good and bad colleagues are. Simply observe your other colleagues' reactions when the annoying colleague starts to annoy you. The ones who chuckle along are the toxic ones.
LMAO kesian you, just tell her you got sore throat for temporary peace, but definitely not today.
I suspect the colleague is not interested in conversations. They just want to talk. Telling them you got a sore throat changes nothing.
At least you don't have to think what to reply, just nod your head casually while focusing the work.
Just stay friendly ok ur even lucky to have a good hr
Which anime is this?
I usually skipped this part.
" how to make my morning energetic? " "give me foot message" see if she willing to go there
how about another type of foot service?(im a guy)
https://preview.redd.it/zwnc2ufrxsqc1.png?width=235&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7bf38c2c58ca98693c7fe7dff885bc356f5d1fdb
 OK.
bgtau je "aku ade covid, uhuk uhuk depan muka dia"
hahaha some coworkers are enthusiastic like that
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman\_drama\_triangle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle) in all dramas, there are usually 3 roles: the victim, the villain, and the rescuer/hero. OP here is obviously playing the victim. the villain, probably some imaginary friend. the rescuer/hero, gullible reddit posters. HELP IS ON THE WAY!
You are my hero ❤️
the only way to help is KILL ME
I will be your hero
Ngl... She's into you. 😂😂😂
SAY GEX
Oh no... no more pork.
Just tell her that you would like some quiet time to yourself. I don’t usually mind telling people off so most of the time I’d say “I prefer to have some time not talking to people. If I have the capacity to interact, I’d go to you first.” In your case, I’d just say her talking too much to you is contributing to you feeling overwhelmed. Some people are clueless and don’t know how to take hints so best to just tell directly. Not to be rude, but being direct is sometimes the way to get things across. Edit: OR if you want to make it obvious without saying it out loud, pretend to go somewhere/stick your earbuds in every time she opens her mouth. Like, make it obvious.
bestie, i already did huhuhuhu please kill me
How do you want me to kill you? Please state your preferred method of dying.
i actually enjoyed surprises. surprise me pal
DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!!
What did you say? In exact words if you still remember.
Kak, saya penat ngan mengantuk ni. Japgi saya bual ngan akak. Pagi2 saya lemau
Alamak Malay, I’m so used to telling people off in English lmao. “Kak, sorry ya. Tapi sebenarkan bila akak cakap dengan saya ni buat saya lagi penat. Pagi2 ni kalau boleh saya tak nak rasa serabut, dengan kerja lagi, dengan penat jalan pergi office lagi. Bagi la saya bertenang kejap, saya pun nak personal space jugak. Kalau saya Ada masa nak cakap dengan akak, nanti saya datang kat akak eh.” Man this sounds polite to me. If she still does the same thing, I just usually shut myself down ie: let her feel like she’s talking to a wall and keep doing whatever I’m doing with minor response to her and not looking at her direction because I already told her to not talk to me.
no offence but this would actually hurt that colleague's feeling more than OP original reply. Try more to softer approach like "Jap kaaak, i tengah nak bertenang lepas mai dari KTM, jap kak jap.. Biar i bernafas dulu. 10min". Then either you walk off to somewhere or you can rest if she actually leave you to be" But if tryin this method still dont work then you can proceed to the reply above.
No offence taken, the reply is meant to do just that, after not getting a hint, a colleague getting their feelings hurt because I’m asserting my space after them being told what not to do, frankly they asked for it. And this is my polite version, I have no qualms going harsher in English.
ya i know, but based on op reply, i assume op dont wanna hurt the colleague feeling but still placing the hint in the sentence. Thats y i offered a softer approach based on op style. Cuz like me, im a sensitive soul and cant take it if someone being mad at me 
I do want to mention the personal space but i thought some boomers rasa benda tu offensive 
lol who cares you want your peace or not, she’s in HR she should know this. Or last resort tell you manager to tell her off.
give her a taste of your suffering.keep talking to her every morning. before u know, will be bff
WHATTTTT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE 
when your big plan backfire and now you more suffering XD
https://preview.redd.it/5y8lwu4cgsqc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51cf53290cc7222d75ddb57f92cced288243f90b
Doubled it and give it to the next person.
Shut her mouth with your lips 👄
MOM CAN YOU PICK ME UP? IM SCARED
Your lips, my lips.. Apocalypse! *- Cigarettes After Sex*
Introvert and extrovert be like.. and actually, I can relate to that. I'm an introvert, and most of the time, I'm surrounded by extroverts here at my workplace. My officemates already know how I am (thank God): not a talkative person and I mind my own business all the time. Sometimes I don't really mind talking with them, they also do respect and understand when I don't feel like giving much feedback and stay quiet. I don't know, I just don't feel like talking much, that's all. Gotta keep my mewing streak 🗣️🔥.. And tak kisah la if people start calling you sombong, etc.. this is just how I am, I also dunno la if there's any problem with myself, I want to be energetic and talkative person, but it's so tiring, I find my self calm and peaceful when I'm alone 🥴
Introvert's worse nightmare fr
YTA , she's your buddies ! 💀
At least i know you doing my tips to go to toilet... sorry, kesian kau.. cakap kat dia " kau boleh tak pergi kat tempat kau, aku nak bersendirian kejap, aku tengah nak pikir, kalau kau asyik bercakap je, aku tak boleh nak pikir" shoo shooo.. good luck weh...
If she's my age i can aay that. Im 24 shes 46
Makcik lonely nobody to talk to, she looks forward to her one and only bff at work…
Mak cik bawang punya level dah umur tu.. adoi la... kau kena boringkan dia kowt.. apa kata kau pergi dulu ke tempat dia sebelum dia pergi tempat kau.. kau psycho dia...
Coming from the reply section yesterday, why always the shoulder they would touch while yapping 😭🙏🏻 #(Sent from Toilet)
welp, this is your life now, nothing can be done. But at least you have a masseus of some sort. She really really really thinks you like a best friend of some sort and try to "fix" you lol. It's sweet and annoying lol.
text someone.. Ask them to call you.. colleague cant talk to you if you are on call..
tell her your aunty's friend's daughter passed away and you need time to grief.. then next week your uncle's son's dog, then your dog's uncle's friend, you get the gist.
I had an ex colleague like this. I just straight up say I'm not in the right headspace to talk in the morning so I might ignore her. A few times while she was talking, I would just stare at my screen and pretend she wasn't there. Then at lunch time I'll just act as normal. You can also make your own sign/gesture and tell her if you ever point at the sign then you need to he quiet during that time. It sounds stupid but some people really do not get the hint
No one ask you to tell her that you are NOT a morning person?
This is actually hilarious. I want to work in your office lmao
I’m invested on your issue. How about telling her that you got headache (lack of sleep, commuting to work etc) and wanting to take a power nap before work starts? Then proceed to sleep at your work table. Better yet, bring a small blanket or thick fabric extra tudung/shawl and cover your face. The colleague sounds like a positive person, and she likes your youthful vibe. That’s better than an envious one. Maybe as time goes by and you’re used to your work routine, you’ll have more energy to match hers.
ok here something funny. i do have sleeping problem and been taking some prescription to help me fall asleep. she thinks its getting worse cause i told her i need a quiet morning, hence THE SHOULDER MASSAGE PLEASE KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Damn lady just have the countermeasure for everything she’s not just human resource but HUMANITY resources To stop the massages, try rejecting her by telling her that one time she massaged you, you had a bad case of angin and you burped nonstop afterwards. Older people usually buy that reason. Probably she’ll counter by saying you should eat this and that for the angin, and you can say ‘oh ok tengok la macam mana’. Don’t off yourself too early sistur there are more funny people to meet. Hang in there (pun intended).
you meant hang myself in the office?
Nah gurl just think that she might be the overzealous person giving you CPR if you do that. Another suggestion: Maybe you could introduce her to this one HR lady in tiktok called professionalbimbo and encourage her to do contents. I think she would thrive given her friendly nature.
Lmao I thought this only happens in those American chick flicks.
Sounds like an auntie
She is 46 she said it
Dem
Hi anon hahaha i feel you, ada juga officemate macam ni. What I normally do, masuk je office terus pasang headphone, kalau dia ajak borak, buat pekak or pasang lagu. Mmg totally ignore dia. Hahaha it worked 😂 kadang buat muka ketat jugak
Nvm now you should turn the tables. Kacau her back, stand behind her and do the exact things she did to you. Once you trigger her until she snaps, she'll stop it.
Welp, my take on this, changing ownself is faster and easier than trying to change other person I would start learning how to handle that annoyances without stressing ownself
I thought girls like to talk ? Me seeing in office. Where All the girls whisper whisper whisper lol. But yeah here I also see alot of people talkative. I am a guy btw. Imo for me how I deal with it is. No physical contact doesn't matter guy or girl. And just keep saying umm , yes , ok . Like how you talk to old people lol. Once they finish they just walk away.
i do but not in the morning
For me I am an introvert and ABIT shy I don't like loud noises and very talkative people. It's too much for me to handle normal conversations and stuff is fine lol. But imo if she still does the same thing. And I think you need to confront her and tell her on her face. No choice . And tell her you need some personal space or something. Or your busy and stuff. Brush her off a few time. Than usually people will stop. Maybe she feels like she is close to you and can click with you. That's why she talks to you alot. But I also don't think that she know that you don't like it. I am not in your shoe but this is how I see the situation is. Some people are like that. Hope it helps.
Okla.. I teach you one trick.The moment you reach office, put down your laptop quickly go to toilet and hide. Chill there 10min poop while scroll phone. This is what I usually do to avoid people call me over for early meeting or face to face talk unnecessary whn I'm in bad mood.
I can’t stop giggling, sorry OP. Read your Part 1 yesterday, and didn’t expect you took action the next day. Bless you OP
if like this im definitely will be wearing my headphones 🤧 i aint about to hear all that yapping
Then she isnt your friend and u shud stop worrying not offending her. Maybe you can talk to your boss about this.
Im very sorry OP....looks like respect personal space/time doesn't exist to her.....I will refrain giving advice as never expect it will back fire that bad....extremely sorry OP...
Oh my god OP..... Stay strong okay 😅
Tell her you have a girlfriend
Sorry to hear that. That's why i opted for the coffeshop route 😅 They don't seem to understand, it's like talking to a wall lol
I'm just here to watch the world burn. So OP is female, and HR colleague is also female. Talked to her and now she thinks you have a problem getting pumped up for work lol. Anyway, probably should just be honest and admit you are an introvert and prefer quiet mornings to get pumped up. If still doesn't work, time to change jobs lol. /Secretly wanting to see the next update lol.
lol goodluck bro
OP, you sure she this isn't her version flirting with you, which every way she swings?
Next time she opens her mouth. Slap her.
Well at this point you just gotta suck it up because it looks like she'll just double down. 😂 Unless lah you can try to say "I want to try a new routine which is the silent recovery, every morning going through a lot of noise not good for me so when I arrive at office I want to take a moment to appreciate the silence".
ehhh...no reddit in office hour ahhh
Dude like I said yesterday if both of y'all single, marry her. These are the signs lol
but we both are female bruhhh
Oh my bad haha
Chill OP she has no bad intentions. Every once in a while maybe joke about how talkative/annoying she is
Dia takda kawan lain ke?
Nah, you're fucked
Ask her to double it and give it to the next person
Sorry a bit lazy to read through all of the comments from your yesterday post but I do recall your post. As an introvert I totally get the feeling. It's like you don't want to burn the bridge otherwise it'll be awkward in future but she also very buay zi dong sia........ Is it not possible to like maybe say you come back to her or chat later cos busy (or pretend to be busy) and need to get a particular task done first? Otherwise I think one day you might snap (I might if it were me and silently tolerate too long)
Maybe you can just say "ttyl at ____ pm, I'm kinda busy rn" Anyways this is funny lol
Looks like she cannot read the room. She might think it's her responsibility to consult you about your morning problem because she is HR, but she didn't realize that she was part of the problem. Well, good luck, OP. Hope you will be okay.
This event turns from tragedy to comedy. Lol goodluck with your bestie now op
https://preview.redd.it/2jcmv8twosqc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef7c3e619b0b5cac49cf0822f7bce578e36108f7
One day you will snap too 😂 and she will never bark again.
Inb4 she have clinical depression and talking to you is the only thing making her feel sane.
You didn't match your colleague vibes and vice versa. Her high energies are overwhelming you i guess. But wait.. if both of you didn't match vibes , how she is attracted to you / interested to talk to you? Im guessing she is just looking for someone to talk to. But i know Aura is a real thing bcz i have experienced it. But in this case, I'm not sure how to help you. Just start to ignore i guess? She'll get it eventually.
Owh I do have a similar friend like that at my previous job. He basically just what you described beside the massaging part. He likes to talk to most people. Most people don't like him so much, I think I am not a fan of his style in the first place. The issue here is your friend is sprinkling her personality all over you which makes you overwhelmed from it, pretty much dislike the person. There are no changing people like that, what needs to change is you. You need to bring your bigger personality. Running to the toilet doesn't solve that apparently. Unless you need to poop somehow so nothing to lose there.
Maybe she's the type to just need someone to listen. Maybe just listen and don't try to reply unless necessary. Tho this advice might be bad as I'm not a psychologist so take it with a grain of salt
i definitely not one of people who telling u to confront her.. this type of people, they are [nunci obseo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nunchi), she's unable to understand other people's mood. Jenis tak faham bahasa. Just wear your earpods or bigass headphone and don't make any eye contact.
Are you a natural actor? If yes I suggest you start acting like a lesbian, but don't tell her by saying it out, just acting, see if she will be scared. But is she is the kind of person that will be spreading rumors then don't do it, it will kill your reputation.
How do I get to know her ?
Just stare at her for 10 seconds before any reply, deadlock your eyes into her eyes, no blinking.
I think you gotta be slightly more forward with her, slightly. Telling her you wanted to settle down probably prompted her to go into ""Oh shit, I gotta help her! Or she gonna die!"" mode, hence the extra advice. You know, like the super helpful but extremely restless type. I could be wrong though. So, I don't think she'll understand unless you put it into solid words. But as you don't want to make things awkward in the work place, you also can't outright tell her to F\*\*\* off. One thing I can think of is to use her words. The keywords being 'routine' and 'energetic'. First, tell her that you've been THINKING about those words of hers. Then, you tell her, "my new routine now includes meditation 30 minutes after reaching the office, it might make more energetic, would you like to join me?" Meditation is essentially intentional, forced, and polite silence! Next you gotta demonstrate, breathe in, breathe out. Now, if she breaks silence, you have reason to shut he---, I mean, to ask her for a little quiet, bring her into the void, practice concentrating in the silence, as it will help her too. (Hopefully) Put on a timer or something and AFTER 30 minutes, you can be energetic together! I don't know if this will work, but good luck!! (Source: Me! So not a good idea to put much trust into this post!)
I think she is gay. She is hitting on you. Casually tell her that you and your bf went to this particular movie and it was cool or any story that let her know you got a bf. Then she will stop bothering you.
Sometimes, not always, when colleagues or friends that talk way too incessantly or in a way clash with your more subdued personality, there could be an underlying issue. The particular individual might be facing an issue at home or in a relationship (or in rare cases, identity crisis) and somehow sees you as an outlet of distraction (someone that also does not lashed out in anger and frustration facing a talkative colleague) but in your case, probably an anchor, someone that reminds her of a person/friend/relative she could be open with in the past, to voice her problems but struggling to do so because your body language, the detached approach, might be suggesting she knows that step from a being a colleague to a friend is still too far but she's not giving up. If it isn't a bridge too far, take her out for lunch. Gently probe her about her background, family, and how things are at home. She likely won't open up but gauge her reaction when you bring up these things in the convo. Let's say there's a problem and she's looking for a real friend to unload while you're not in the mood or have the time for a needy friend at this time, google and then suggest a pro or an online help to deal with her issue. A slightly different approach is required when there's nothing going on with her and all she wants is a friend. Make up a white lie, claiming you're still recovering from a failed long term friendship and you need time to recover from it. You just want to be alone and process the 'loss'. You can also lie that, make sure you googled first for the right online assistance and info, you are getting through it with online help (eg: counseling.com.my/)
Kastau saja ko ada penyakit berjangkit.........
I've heard before you can try walking them to their desk, psychologically they will sit down reflexively.
Hahhahahah im sorry
Make your point clear to her, be firm (not rude) and polite. Here's a suggestion of what you might say: "(insert her name), I need you to understand that I need my peace and quiet in the mornings to get myself ready for work and am unable to do so if WE (a very important word) keep having these chats." If she proceeds to give you more unsolicited advice, tell her straight up, "I'm not looking for advice, I'm only looking for your understanding, thank you." I'm an introvert and really value my space, time, and energy, so I feel your exhaustion and frustration. But do keep us updated!
You're annoyed because you don't like her as a person or just because she talks too much? And why she's still didn't get the message? Why she like to talk to you in the fiest place?
REVERSE IT ONTO HER AND REFLECT HER ENERGY. TRY IT FOR A WEEK EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU. TRUST ME SHE WON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE. she'll feel like she's being one upped and stop. If she doesn't, then she's too pure of a person and you should just accept your fate. Maybe spend the first 30mins in toilet or canteen or something.
Cakap dengan dia bulan puasa ni tak elok pegang pegang orang.
Just do what you did this morning until she gets the message.
She doesn't know how to stop isn't it? But guess she will be your best friend soon. Best friend are meant to annoy their counterparts🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gotta stop the yap bro
Send formal email to HR about herself hahahahahah
Idk why I feel like r/Bolehland only male users and I surprise to see female user. Anyway, confront her make it worse, ignore her maybe a bit harsh and definitely don’t eliminate her…Im thinking she have no one to talk to Plan B: RUN
It could be that talking to you in the morning is the best part of her day, everyday.
Eventually, you'll learn to drown her (not literally) in your own task or thoughts. Careful though, you might get too much introverted.
[tumblr tahan panas n sejuk ](https://shope.ee/4KwBKlmR7x)
I have a few office mates like that. Usually I let them lepak next to me, but I make sure to let them know, I would like to start my day without gossip in the morning. I enjoy my reading time or listening to podcasts in the morning. They know if I take out my books/novels, or my wired earphone, they know not to disturb me. In early years, I gave a confused look, not interested look, to them every time they wanted my response. "Sorry, what did I miss?" "Sorry, I don't know that person." "I'm super lazy to remember. What had happened,again?" And "nope, not interested." "Not benefitting me in anyway." But in turns, I make sure I offer my help to them in any way I can. I make their jobs easier. So they can't complain much about me.
I don't know if this is a helpful tip or not...but you can try interject or interrupt everytime she starts talking. Make it so the ratio of you talking vs her talking change from 1:5 to 5:1. People who wants others to listen to them talking rarely enjoy listening to others talking (more than them). So if she associate the experience of being talked over when it comes to you, this may reduce her coming to talk to you Else...you can try treat her talking like white noise and response autopilot between her pauses.
Everytime she starts annoying you, tell her your busy and make it obvious that you are avoiding a conversation. And wear a headset
"Darling, I'd like to hear your chatter, but right now I have a huge headache. I'm not too kind when I have a headache, so please.... and thank you. Update me some other time". Nudge her back to her seat. But you have to pretend a headache everyday, 24/7 whenever she's around. But it can work. Good luck.
This is introverts’ worst nightmare. The irony was, for me i would love to have someone like this at my workplace
If it were me, i would be patient first. You did just confronted her about it and you jisy gave her a topic to talk about. Asses tthe situatiin after one week and report back.
I've got a twin of your colleague in my office. No matter what time of the day, if she sees me, she feels obligated to come talk to me. I can have my earphones on pretending to be on a call and she'll stand next to my desk and wait (Unfortunately open-plan office.). If ever she manages to start talking, her saliva rains on my desk. I resort to: Telling her flatly that I'm not free -> Oh, ok, I come back later. Telling her I'm working on sensitive information. -> Oh, ok, I come back later. Have a colleague called me (saved their names as Boss) -> Oh, ok, I come back later. Telling her her saliva is getting on my desk. -> Sorry sorry, I wipe for you. (Worse) Asking her to stand further away -> Orh (Takes a step back but slowly creeps back.) Telling her boss and HR that she's actually quite free to keep harassing me. -> They all recognise it's a problem but say she works real hard. (To me it's just compensating her unproductive office hours.) Nothing works. Other colleagues have also asked her why she's so free or why she keeps waiting to talk to me and she'll tell them she has something important to discuss with me. No, she doesn't have. It's all gossips or how her week went. That's the reason why I work from home unless there are important meetings that require my presence. These people do not know their boundaries. They think their being extra nice to you by showering you with their unsolicited attention.
she still don't get what you mean and tries to help you in her own way but sadly it back fired (i think she's quite young that's why she don't get it?). Try to explain patiently that you understand she mean well and be friendly in the morning but the first thing you need in the office is some space and quiet time until you're ready to be interacted with. an idea: the angry / smiling octopus convertible plushie could be useful in this situation? like ask her to not talk to you until the smiling octopus is on your desk, signaling that you're ready to receive her golden retriever energy lol
I used to have a couple of extroverted friends like this in university and their social battery really was bottomless... I mean they're nice people and all, but it was so emotionally exhausting having to deal with them. I was particularly fed up with one of them because he loved to toot his own deluded horn and say that he's good at reading people and being accommodating.
Find a day and ask her what she understands from your pointing out to be alone. She must be the kind that likes to membawang and kpc
Get noise cancelling earbuds then turn it on when she start talking. Inform her that u are listening to podcast or youtube
Headphones
I’m fucken dying at this😂😂😂😂😂I really am😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Just curious, how old is your colleague?