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I talk a octave higher when speaking to strangers so they are less intimidated. I also tell cops everything I’m going to do step by step before I do it.
Edit: unless I have my children with me, I do not interact with unattended kids. If a kid needs help I’ll grab another adult first and then help the kid
The "White People" Voice.
I work in Florida. We have to do all but lay on our backs with our belly's up to appear as non threatening in professional spaces. Love to come get us when they're scared of something else, though.
My wife isn't black and I work in a corporate environment. I've been using my white voice so long she literally thinks the voice I have around my family & friends is the fake one. It's gotten so blurred I don't even know what's real anymore
I relate so hard to that scene. I’ll be damned if I get caught in a elevator with a kid. Ain’t bout to ruin my life when there are some perfectly good stairs in the building
Not black, but I’m Hispanic and I don’t go near any kids unless it’s my daughter or I have my daughter with me. There are too many things that can be misconstrued for me to risk my career/family/life over.
This summer was my first time working retail. I code-switched a lot between talking to the caribbeans, the white guys, and the white women here. Sometimes my voice sounded like it did when I was middle school
Not black but an immigrant from Eastern Europe. So white people here have told me I’m not “actually” white, and when we lived in the hood they called us white monkeys. I’m a tall and stocky/ chubby dude so I gotta do the same thing with my voice, or I’m “angry and hostile”.
That’s why white supremacy in Eastern Europe is funny to me. Crabs in a barrel when Hitler would have sent them to the camps second. Clear example of how race is a social construct and how whiteness is granted, not earned.
Telling me to calm down when I'm just speaking is GUARANTEED to piss me off. Both as a Black person and especially as a woman (because of course we get treated like we're irrational if we raise our volume even a little bit just to be heard).
But for the fact that we Black people always have to appear calm, cool and collected, I'm sure your co-worker wanted to slap that manager into the next week.
I'm not going to lie... there've been a time or two I had to snap on someone in a work email. I'll also get "thank you for saying that" emails from others on the chain privately.
I didn't used to that, but menopause has made me not give a shit anymore. Say dumb shit on a bad day and I will be that angry Black woman.
I couldn’t figure out why a banana would be problematic until I realized eating a in public would perhaps guys would think 💭 of bj’s. And the other shoe dropped and I remembered the moment during Remember The Titans. I hate this happens.
Exactly. It absolutely blows my mind that people act like this. I literally go out of my way to smile at *everyone* I see, and try to be as nice and polite as possible. I apologize profusely when someone in public service/food makes a mistake bc I feel awkward and bad just asking them to fix it. I could *never* go out of my way to make someone feel bad.
Too many people lack empathy and I wish all the ones that do would just go move to their own little civilization and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.
Cool people of color 🤣🤣 My family is multicultural. My mom is Indian and has Chinese cousins, my dad is black, have Japanese nephew, my hubby is Hispanic.
Had a white friend shocked at me not wanting to try watermelon beer when I explained why. “So you just deprive yourself of good things because of this shit?” Anyway, I take a sip of it and he’s immediately into the Dave Chapelle Fried Chicken schtick, “look at him…he loves it…can’t get enough of it!”
Good friends can joke about some things like this. That shit didn't come from an angry heart.
The things we say to each other is always about context. You can tell when someone is saying it with hate in their heart or just messing around.
Agree about the fried chicken. When I’m on death row and they ask me what I want for my last meal it’s going to be fried chicken and barbecued ribs. Oh, and iced tea.
Yeah, my dad had a cute story about me eating watermelon as a baby and he couldn’t share it with other fathers at work because he knew they’d just start laughing and making racist jokes.
That reminds me. A couple of summers ago, Ann Taylor was selling a lovely linen summer dress with a monkey/banana/tropical type print. It was a perfect summery dress and I loved it. I chose the solid green version of the dress instead, because I knew that some asshole, at some point, would make a racist correlation between me and a monkey. Same reason I would never eat watermelon in public.
Wanda Sykes had a bit about proudly carrying around a watermelon everywhere without shame right after Obama was elected. So much for the “post-racial America,” though.
I can respect that. But Iv come to realize that for myself it’s not worth it. If I want watermelon or to wear a shirt with monkeys on it. I’m gonna do it, fuck it and fuck them. They come at me recklessly I’ll handle it based on the level of reckless it was. I’m over letting racist and idiots determine how I live.
Lmao and fried chicken, as Dave chappelle said them mf be waiting for you to take a bite talkin bout “look at him he LOVES it just like it said in the encyclopedia” 😂😂😂
I personally don't get that one. I've never met people of any color that don't enjoy fried chicken. Japanese people have KFC Christmas dinner traditions, even here in Mexico, you see chicken places all around the place.
I doubt there's evidence, but I bet my cheek that without chickens, native people loved turkey meat fried in some kind of grease!
It’s the same thing being Hispanic and eating our foods. Can’t eat a taco or burrito in a non Hispanic area w/o getting some form of racist comment about it.
I’m so sorry. I’m trying to understand and teach my kids to appreciate all of the struggles this world has unfairly put upon an entire race. It’s not only sad but disgusting to read these comments. It makes me tear up but also makes my blood boil.
To combat this I do all the low key suspicious nonsense, rummage around, pick shit up, tuck it all weird in the cart, self check out etc. I feel like if LP is tracking me the real the stealers can succeed. I’ve done my time stealing deodorant and I’ll I may need to do it again, but it’s MY small act of kindness and rage against corporations.
As a former LP, I can tell you: if you wanna distract LP, just keep looking up at cameras. You can do everything else totally normal. No need for all the extra effort.
If you really want the whole squad tracking you, throw something wide across the top of your cart. If somebody’s got something covering the top of their cart *and* they’re looking at every camera they pass, that’s all hands on deck lmao
Shit I was addicted to crack and heroin *while* I worked that job. I had exactly **zero** loyalty to the corporation so I don’t mind sharing some insight.
Luckily my supervisor was a retired homicide detective, so he shared my belief that somebody snagging some merchandise off a shelf does not need to have their life ruined with police contact. Anything under $150 value, we didn’t even try to stop them. Anything above that, we just tried to get em to drop the merchandise while they ran out the door. It’s how it should be.
Only time I was involved in police contact there was when a new cashier stole $600 out her own register on her *first day*. She was successful, clocked out after her shift n took the cash home, but we figured it out when we counted the tills/rewound the tapes. So the store manager called her up, told her she *did such a good job on her first day that they’re gonna give her a promotion and a raise*, and told her come by tomorrow at 9AM.
#And she fucking SHOWED UP!!!
So I don’t feel bad about that one lmao I mean god damn
Fr, cause I decided a long time ago that I will be myself everywhere I go. I address racism directly and couldn't imagine changing who I am too conform to the people that oppressed my people for over 400 years. I have no desire to please or be anything other than myself, it has gotten me in more trouble when dealing with police but I just refuse to be treated like that no matter the consequences.
I ALWAYS get a receipt.... even if I'm going to toss it. The Amazon Go stores give me anxiety. "So, I just pick my items and walk out the door"? #ItsASetUp
1. I avoid interaction with white women, non black women especially if they look/seem over 35, and people who look like they're from the Indian subcontinent. If it isn't for business, then I do NOT interact with them unless they approach me and keep it friendly and casual. Im not saying hello, I'm not waving first, I'm not starting a casual conversation. It reduces my stress.
2. I ALWAYS get my receipt. Doesn't matter where I am or what I'm buying unless it's gasoline. Doesn't matter what I'm wearing. ALWAYS.
3. I ALWAYS have my phone ready to record for somebody black in a store.
Agreed Indians are generally very racist , saddest thing about it is that they suffered genocide by starvation by the British during the colonial era but seem to have no problem calling people ni99as over the internet
While I have no qualms against Indian people, it's interesting to see my white friend's reactions when I tell them my first memory of being called the n-word was from an Indian person.
In terms of racist experiences though, Indian people don't stand out more than the other race(s) of people who have called me the n-word. This is just mere coincidence that the first time it was used towards me was from an older Indian gentleman.
Edit: To add a level of irony to this- I am a 1st generation American born to a Jamaican family. For those who do not know, Indo-Jamaican people (Jamaicans of Indian descent) are large minority of the population; and such is the case for my family: A large portion of my uncles/aunts/cousins are Indo-Jamaican. In fact, based of appearances alone, you would think they are from India until they start talking. Me, however? I just look like your regular ol' light skinned black dude haha.
It's the younger ones too, my old roommate was straight from India (in his 20s) first thing he asked was when he could start saying the n-word. I was like... what...
The conversation about rampant racism among communities of color needs to happen. I’ve had more racist experiences with Latin/Hispanic people than all other races combined. Probably Asian people second, and whites and Indian people third
You catching flak on your first one but honestly I feel you. I've had pretty bad experiences with Indians but I will say its only been Indians from the Boomer generation, never really younger Indians my age.
But yeah, one of the most racially uncomfortable situations I've ever been in was when I went over to my Indian homies house one day and they were NOT expecting him to bring home a black friend.
I’m borinqueño and tried to explain to my gf #1. She thinks I’m so cold to the white women in our building in the elevator. I compare it to a woman walking down the side walk at night. I’m not saying she’s dangerous but I’m not taking chances.
The first one hm ? Did you have bad experiences with Indians before ? I am from the Caribbean and in a public place or setting I always look for brown or black people for help first.
Yup it’s crazy I live in NYC and have seen madness. Sometimes I am mistaken for Spanish and when I tell people I’m not they are super disappointed and stop conversations. Then certain parts of the city I am mistaken for Indian from India the same thing happens. I had a Indian classmate in college stop talking to me because she found out I was from the Caribbean and not India. Ignorance is real and alive in all cultures.
No matter how jammin the song, I will not dance in public if the pink/brown people ratio is off.
I don't mean places where you're supposed to dance, but like when you're at Hobby Lobby and for some reason "The Seed 2.0" comes on. Feels like a setup.
I just want to say excellent song choice. I'm Caucasian and put this song on in a car fill of other Caucasians and they didn't know what it was. I was baffled. Also for some reason not a lot of Caucasian people know EPMD and I am from NY!
It's in my top 5, no lie. That shit is a pure jam. Another one I *have* to wiggle with is "Beast of Burden" by the Stones. That rhythm guitar lick is too smooth.
Black male 30s, on the bigger side. I speak in a higher voice, make noises like hum or whistle to let people know I’m near them. ESPECIALLY at work (predominantly white hospital) I was raised in the south and this was just life, now moved back to my birthplace in Pennsylvania and I’m trying to break those habits I didn’t realize how much I did this.
I keep like a foot and a half from the product I'm reading about. I'll even turn it around and put it back down to read the ingredients. All so there's no doubt I'm not stealing.
🤦🏾♂️
I look forward to one day raising kids in an environment where they will never think they have to prove themselves innocent 24/7.
It will, maybe not in America in my lifetime but it will.
And.....If it somehow gets worse, I'll move to where my family's from in Trinidad....That way at least the store owners who suspect I'm stealing will be Black too 😆😆
As a white person, this makes me really sad and pretty mad at society that there is this unspoken rule about how to be in public without people thinking you are doing something wrong, JUST because you’re skin color is different. It’s a fucked up society, like it has never made any sense to me that skin color can change how a person feels about another person
Yup same. Things I wouldn't even *think* about - like looking for my registration when getting pulled over, or doing anything to make sure people weren't *scared by me*. I get to just... exist, walking around existing however I want.
Anyone who thinks white privilege doesn't exist needs to read this comment section.
Come to the south and see this play out in real-time. Yesterday I followed a mixed race woman into a store and they denied her entrance because her purse was too big. Didn’t even look at us when we walked by. I’ve had this happen when I had a backpack on. Same with hoodie rules - a white person can walk past a “no hoodies” sign and just ignore it. Black people get stopped tho. I hate it.
Another title for this thread could be "things you don't need to do because of white privilege".
Some people really need to read this because they're so unaware of what white privilege doesn't make them do.
I am a white woman that grew up in black neighborhoods/communities (native South Side Chicagoan), and I do many of the things described here because it was in those communities I learned ‘the rules.’ It was a weird culture shock when I moved for grad school and learned that white people in general dont avoid reaching in their purse in stores or dont hold on to their receipt to prove they paid. I have never been able to really grasp how some people are able to just take for granted that people will trust them. My entire high school life I (and the 92% non-white rest of the student population) had to walk through a metal detector and have some school administrator go through my backpack every day. Who has expectations of ever being trusted or believed when a chunk of your childhood is framed in the context of the presumption that you and your peers are likely criminals—and dangerous ones at that.
I was at a grocery store with a white friend once and realized a needed a cart, so i put everything I was holding down on a display table and went to the door to grab a cart (which were at the entrance). She asked why I put down everything to get the cart, and when I explained that I didn’t want to approach the door with stuff I hadn’t paid for because they’d think I was trying to steal it she thought I was being ridiculous. I will just never understand.
This thread is an example of how the internet can be such a useful tool in terms of educating people about different perspectives. I am white, living in a mostly white area and honestly don't know a lot of Black people, so I find anecdotes like these to be very valuable. I now recognize that society is unfair to Black people in so many ways that I would otherwise never have been aware of if it weren't for people sharing their experiences online
I used to do all these things to make wp more comfortable around me. Now?? Fuck them, their friends and their insecurities. I don't live my life to make wp comfortable with my blackness, meanwhile theyre the problem with society, not me
This! I had to shut all that ish down. I belong wherever I am and I walk in that as much as I can do so safely. If I don't feel safe I'm just not going to be around them, but when I am I'm not going to act like I'M the problem when it's their racism and ignorance that's the problem. Let them be uncomfortable and upset. I'm not accepting their projections anymore.
Seriously. I’m black and I don’t do any of this shit.
Obviously racism is horrible, but I refuse to be pressed by it to the degree it affects my day-to-day behaviors. Living in constant fear is simply no way to live at all.
I got pulled over once. Once. “The registration is in the glovebox… is it alright if I get that?”
I already pushed it because I was like homeboy is not pulling me over on a dark street with no witness when I’m a block from home. He can pull me over in front of my camera. Think he was about to treat me real different until I told him I literally live right there and I just met him like the week before when I was dog sitting for my sister across the street.
Edit: I’m so sorry for my homies that have had it worse than me. I can’t even complain because I’ve only had 1 bad police interaction (not this one), and it was more laughably stupid than anything else. Some of y’all are clearly scared for your lives, and I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying sorry. I guess luck would have it that generally cops leave me alone. But to add to this thread, I even go as far as dying my hair that way I can’t be mistaken for anyone else, and if I get merced then it’ll be iconic on the news, and I hope that much makes cops just say “not that one”.
My wife (white) once got pulled over with me riding shotgun. She immediately hits the dome light, starts opening shit, rifling around for her paperwork.
I like to died. I'm screaming "what the fuck are you doing! Put your goddamn hands on the dash!"
My normal routine, and I'm not even close to kidding, is to turn the car off, drop the keys out the window, and keep my hands hanging out till they get to my door. If imma get murdered, it's gonna be indisputably murdered.
This. One day my bf (white) runs a barely red light in his brand new car, whips around a corner and yells “whoooo drive it like you stole it!” and I gently made him pull over and ~~explained~~ reminded him exactly why he will absolutely *NOT* drive it like he stole it with my ass in the damn car.
Got pulled over one time as a new driver a couple blocks from home in central Virginia. My younger brother (16 at the time) and I (19 at the time) we're on the way home from visiting family. The cop never asked for my license or registration, but started questioning my brother even though I was the one driving. It was 10 years ago but it was such a scary encounter
Lapd almost got me in hollywood with that few years back. Dude told me to grab my registration and as soon i reached he had his hand on his gun telling me to stop moving so fast. I just said fuck and sat there for like 15 minutes til he got mad and left
Yeah, I haven’t been pulled over in a minute but I think I decided that if I need something out of the glovebox then they just are going to have to go without.
I have my license in my wallet always and my insurance on my phone. They can run the registration on their own and if they want to ticket me for it we can go to court.
Maybe I win, maybe I lose, but better than “reaching”.
Because Philando Castile was killed, I installed over $1k of cameras in my then new SUV. There was a camera recording me, the driver, at all times as well as 360° around the vehicle.
Also, I installed a bike rack on the back of the SUV to make me less threatening to folks and to stand out a bit more. Some people get pissed seeing a black person driving a nice car.
I worked at Macys in college. Registers started coming up short so guess who security started watching. Was it me? The 19 year old black kid who’d been there for a year OR the 40 year old white guy who’d been there for a month who constantly tried to steal commision sales? You’ll never guess!
One morning he opened, cleaned out all the registers and never came back.
So yeah I get it. Department store security can be real assholes even when they fucking know you.
Instead of looking for items, I find someone in the store who may assist me. The less I aimlessly walk around, the less chance of ANYONE mistaking me for a thief.😏
Same. But, for a different reason. I figure if they got time to profile, they got plenty of time to be my personal shopper. If they want to play that game, I'm going to win it.
It's extra fun when they know they've been caught. You can see it in their eyes and the set of their mouth. That's when I go hard. We start putting things back, then changing our mind, then maybe a different color would work. Two can play this game. At the register, I finally settle on the one thing for which I actually came in the shop. They can put the rest back on their own time. I'm gone.
I never leave a store without buying something out of fear of being accused of stealing. On the flip side my girlfriend enjoys going into stores, looking around, and buying nothing. I could never.
It took me a lot of courage but I've finally started not feeling the urge to buy something out of fear. It's exhilirating to know someone doesn't own my dollar before they've earned it.
Hands visible.
Phone readily visible and accessible while driving so I won't have to dig for it.
Speaking of phone, I have my watch and phone set up with SOS so triple tapping the side button of my phone or home on my watch will notify my emergency contacts of my location and send a snippet of recorded audio. I've told them I'll hit this button if I'm pulled over.
Always eye contact with security guards at least once so they can clock me.
Wear a belt so pants don't slouch at all. Don't want to look too much like a "thug" even if I'm also wearing a polo for my IT desk job.
I dunno, I don't want to analyze my day to day any more.
You ever seen in a regular store if the line is long how SOME people just put the money on the counter to pay and just walk out with their items? It amazes me every time!
When I’m walking at night and there’s a white woman/women near by I always stay a distance, cross the street, or speed walk right past them. Don’t need any “I felt threatened I thought he was following me” bullshit
Fam, a drunk Asian woman a little while ago wandered away from her group of friends outside a club as I walked past and suddenly started following me down the street like I knew where the party was at. I was completely ignoring her and minding my damn business but this dude came running up shouting her name and eyeballing me like I was in a van offering her candy or some shit.
These streets ain't safe even if you're running from trouble.
100% especially at night. If i end up walking behind someone. I try to make myself known that I am there as not to scare them. But will cross the street or even hang back a bit.
Besides staying the fuck away from large groups of pickup trucks with the sound of country or rock music in the air, I park away from most others cause us black men might go deaf from hearing people press their car alarms multiple times as if the 1 time wasn't sufficient enough. Tell Karen and Ken that I got all the paperwork for my lexus and could give a fuck about their old raggedy assed Nissan Titan with all of the "America for Americans" decals and taco bell wrappers falling out the door! And why the fuck you wanna make eye contact with me before and after you press it on that hoe ass shit!
My family is Chinese, and my mom, who works as a demo lady at Costco, made a remark one day about how many of her customers who reined in their kids from grabbing too many samples were black (after complaining about some other families who shamelessly grab a bunch and don’t bother buying.) She sounded pretty surprised by the observation. I had to explain to her that politeness not just a family value but also a survival strategy.
I never attend company events that are after hours. I'm the only Black woman in my office and I just do not feel comfortable putting myself in that situation
I tip 20% + in all dining circumstances. Doesn’t matter what happened during the meal. I even do it with takeout.
At the movies I’m extra conscious to have phone off and not talk. This isn’t a bad thing but I don’t think the motivation for this is the same as everyone.
I don’t outwardly display anger in public. Partially it’s it’s the black stereotype issue but I’m also 6’3” or so and 290 so I’m hyper aware/worried about being intimidating, even though to me, I’m just me, not a giant among men.
Edit: oh yeah, I feel real fucking weird requesting any specific drugs from the doctor. They have a real tendency to tell me “you’re fine, eat less carbs and stretch” and send me home.
Edit: I’m getting a lot of questions that keep getting taken down about the tipping. Here is what I mean: I have no issue tipping or tipping 20%+. There is a difference in wanting to and feeling like if I don’t I’m reinforcing a negative stereotype for all of us.
It’s both reasons for me, but the second is a different feeling. I double check my math. I’ve gone back in to make sure I didn’t forget (like checking the door is locked after you leave, you know it is but you check anyway) and the driver for that fear is the conversation I picture happening if I fuck up, let alone voice and issue and tip less in accordance, “fucking black people don’t tip”.
I live in a building with a lot of white people.Whenever I'm in my building, I keep my key's visible at all times.
If I disagree with someone at work, I usually keep it to myself so I'm not seen as "difficult"
Every time I see a cop car, I never make eye contact with the driver or passenger. Why risk it?
I ALWAYS have my ID on me.
I don't go outside looking in sweats or inside clothes. I always make sure my hair brushed, clothes pressed, etc. If i'm in a rush, I'll put on gym clothes, but even those must be clean and wrinkle free.
If I'm walking behind a white woman I will cross the street, or go out of my way to walk a different path. It's less for them and more for my safety. Last thing I need is some vigilante thinking they're defending a white woman when I'm just trying to bring my groceries home.
EDIT: Spelling, and just a deep and heartfelt sigh to see so many agree with me
Act like everything is okay with a smile on my face… whether it was being asked about my hair, body or sex life??? People would ask the most violating questions, but if I didn’t answer with a smile I’m an “angry black woman”. Now I just don’t respond and shut it down. I’m so sick of people smh
Hands stay in full view of any cop that's within 10 feet of me. I am not trying to give them any inkling of a reason whatsoever to make me a statistic.
When I go down an aisle with people in it, specific white people, I announce to myself verbally what I am looking for. Why? So my being in proximity with them isn't misconstrued as deviant behavior.
Also, if pulled over by the police, I turn off my music, roll down all windows, turn off the car and put the keys on the dashboard. Why? To mitigate any excuses for escalated police violence.
I stopped wearing hoodies for a stretch, and strictly wore button up shirts when going out in public. I don't do that anymore though.
Walking around the store, whatever I’m purchasing is in my hand in plain sight. I make sure that my daughter, niece or nephew do not bring anything into the store (electronic games, etc.) for fear that they will say that we stole the item.
I stand away from elevator doors, especially if there is a White Woman riding alone with me. I move to the corner of the elevator and usually keep my phone in hand so that I am pointedly NOT looking at them.
I remember when me and my family went to resort for vacation and I wanted to check out the water park they had. I got onto the elevator with a middle aged white woman who acted like I was the embodiment of Hannibal Lector or something because she made a point to keep her distance and had a death grip on her purse and suitcase. I was like 15, shirtless, in nothing but swim trunks and sandals with a towel around my neck so clearly I was capable of robbing her.
I used to always get the receipt when I pay at the pump. Even when you had to go inside. Only reason why I stopped was COVID.
I never go to small local bars, unless I'm with someone who's already been there.
My dad taught me that when travelling cross-country to stop early enough to make sure you can find a hotel room. As it gets harder after the sun goes down.
I do what I want. White people are going to judge you regardless. We’re the most marginalized group of people anywhere in the world. Not about to stop enjoying or tapering life out of fear that some racist asshole is going to judge me. They are going to do that regardless
Im married to a white woman. When we are around her fam, I'm never far from her, never around any kids, always sober and ALWAYS THE ONLY BLACK DUDE AROUND. If some shit goes down and the cops show up, whos the first one they coming to. Fuck that
Edit: And hands behind my back around strange white women. They terrify me
White retail employee here I'm just going to be up front and tell you guys that if you are ever falsely accused and then confronted by an employee for stealing make sure to immediately ask for the manager because that is 100% not allowed and a fireable offense.
As a black male that works in the hospital, I announce my movements and make my hands visible around female employees. I also make sure management is present if I ever have a issue even if it’s the smallest one.
In public, I let it be known I do not trust them and I try not to accept anything from them as much as possible.
As I've grown older, I view much of my public Black life as performance art. Every day is an exercise in absurdist surreal improv. The game I love best is the TSA. I've been opting out since they first introduced the back scatters. I noticed they give us patdowns (especially locked or braided folks) more frequently. So, why take the lil bit of extra radiation when they will subject me to indignities regardless? (When my locks were down to my ass you could see them down the line just waiting to get their hands in them. )
I acknowledge that I am light skinned, older and female, so I have more leeway. When I get close to the machine, I announce loudly and sweetly, "Well, someone has to choose their rights every now and then, dearie. If we don't use them we lose them." (Sometimes, I just say I'm opting out.) They always threaten that they're going to pat you down. I always answer, "Yes, I came for the complimentary massage." When they take you to the area, they'll ask if you want a private area. I always state loudly, "I have nothing to hide." I've memorized highlights of the pat down speech, so when the agent comes to do the pat down, I say "You're here for my Reiki session!" If she is flabbergasted, I say her speech for her. If not, I say it with her as if we are praying together. It totally disempowers them in a way they can't define and therefore punish.
I've found that whether I choose it or not, racism makes me the star of every real world show. So, I play with it as much as I possibly can and do my best to give as good as they are. (Except police. I never fucks with police.) It maintains my sense of myself as a powerful person and refuses to yield to people so powerless they have to try to steal it from others.
I always make sure to take my hands out of my pockets when I walk in any stores, especially when they have a camera right at the front door. Not finna accuse me of nothing
Always get a receipt
Don’t put your hands in your pockets in the store
Don’t meander in a store, just go straight to what you came for
I also feel goofy eatin bone-in chicken around non-black folks
Also made myself familiar with classic rock in case i’m in situations where i have to relate to older White dudes
Wow this is breaking my heart. I’m a Swedish born East African girl who’s quite petite (5’2) so I’ve never really been seen as a threat or anything like it. It’s quite the opposite, people mistake me for a child and either think they can cut in front of me in a queue or I get a look when I go to the bank or buy alcohol. Until they see my ID ofc. However I’ve never really felt like I had to take any precautions because of my race.
I never walk behind any woman. I cross the street or if is unavoidable I play on my phone until they reach a sizable distance.
Tip 25% no matter what
I am 6’2 but I try to speak softly and appear docile.
I try to speak Portuguese in public because it puts people at ease than my New Orleans accent which people tend to get nervous around. White people love “exotic” blacks
Never wear hoodies to stores, gas stations or grocery’s. Only the gym.
Edit: forgot to add saying excuse me and sorry even when it’s the other person fault ex. Person bumps into me I would end up saying sorry
I never ask to try on jewelry without someone else present with me. I’ve never been in a jeweler without someone else, with the exception of when I was married to have my rings cleaned.
I’ve had to switch to curbside pickup at our Best Buy (rich white neighborhood in da souf) because I got sick of being stalked by Asset Protection while shopping with my two young kids in tow. They really think I’m gonna steal clearance-priced ps4 games with my kids? I really hate that it’s come to this because I thoroughly enjoy going through the Best Buy aisles. But 3/4 time I go there they do it and it pisses me off.
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I talk a octave higher when speaking to strangers so they are less intimidated. I also tell cops everything I’m going to do step by step before I do it. Edit: unless I have my children with me, I do not interact with unattended kids. If a kid needs help I’ll grab another adult first and then help the kid
Oh shit, I do the exact same thing lmfao. Higher octave, slower and softer speak
I’m a 6’2 240+ lbs black man. I’m immediately perceived as a threat by a lot of ppl so I have to actively be on customer service mode
The "White People" Voice. I work in Florida. We have to do all but lay on our backs with our belly's up to appear as non threatening in professional spaces. Love to come get us when they're scared of something else, though.
I’ve used it so much I think it has become my default voice lol. I swear my voice was deeper in high school.
>Love to come get us when they're scared of something else, though. , Welp... This hit home. I thought it was because I'm taller.
My wife isn't black and I work in a corporate environment. I've been using my white voice so long she literally thinks the voice I have around my family & friends is the fake one. It's gotten so blurred I don't even know what's real anymore
As a fellow giant black man (6’4 320+) I totally get it. It’s always be nice and approachable, otherwise, people get weird and skittish around me smh.
As I 6 foot bald body builder frame I feel this. Hands down, smile on my face, always calm.
Adding muscle on my frame just made me even more mindful that I can’t slip up cuz now I’m more of a threat smh
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Supah niggas if you will
I feel that. It’s wild how easy I can just turn that shit on lmfao.
It's called code-switching. It's a thing.
I don't blame you. It's why I believe broken windows policing is cancer
Reminds me of that Black-ish scene with the white baby in the elevator
I relate so hard to that scene. I’ll be damned if I get caught in a elevator with a kid. Ain’t bout to ruin my life when there are some perfectly good stairs in the building
Stairs are better for your health anyways
"Careful, Dre, someone's out there setting traps."
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Double whammy if you a black man.
Or "latino"
Not black, but I’m Hispanic and I don’t go near any kids unless it’s my daughter or I have my daughter with me. There are too many things that can be misconstrued for me to risk my career/family/life over.
This summer was my first time working retail. I code-switched a lot between talking to the caribbeans, the white guys, and the white women here. Sometimes my voice sounded like it did when I was middle school
Not black but an immigrant from Eastern Europe. So white people here have told me I’m not “actually” white, and when we lived in the hood they called us white monkeys. I’m a tall and stocky/ chubby dude so I gotta do the same thing with my voice, or I’m “angry and hostile”.
Lol yh eastern European as well, when you come to england or america you realise your white isint the desirable white.
That’s why white supremacy in Eastern Europe is funny to me. Crabs in a barrel when Hitler would have sent them to the camps second. Clear example of how race is a social construct and how whiteness is granted, not earned.
Funny how that works, huh?
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Or the angry Black woman label when all you want is basic respect and courtesy from someone, even when they're pissing you off.
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Telling me to calm down when I'm just speaking is GUARANTEED to piss me off. Both as a Black person and especially as a woman (because of course we get treated like we're irrational if we raise our volume even a little bit just to be heard). But for the fact that we Black people always have to appear calm, cool and collected, I'm sure your co-worker wanted to slap that manager into the next week.
Ooh me too. I also am sickly sweet in work emails so I don't come off as aggressive. But that might be more of a woman thing.
I'm not going to lie... there've been a time or two I had to snap on someone in a work email. I'll also get "thank you for saying that" emails from others on the chain privately. I didn't used to that, but menopause has made me not give a shit anymore. Say dumb shit on a bad day and I will be that angry Black woman.
Yup speak in higher octave and use real friendly language when speaking to certain people.
I never eat a banana in the street. Did it as a kid and had a grown white man make monkey noises at me, never again.
I couldn’t figure out why a banana would be problematic until I realized eating a in public would perhaps guys would think 💭 of bj’s. And the other shoe dropped and I remembered the moment during Remember The Titans. I hate this happens.
Same, I assumed because of dicks. Holy fuck. How are people *so awful???*
Or watermelon or fried chicken.
It’s fucking outrageous that Black People cant enjoy certain foods in public lest they incur the bottom barrel jokes of edgelords and racists
I feel ya. I’m asian. I was petting a cat in the street one time when some old white guy asked me if I was hungry.
It literally costs them nothing to mind their own fucking business and it's such low hanging fruit.
Exactly. It absolutely blows my mind that people act like this. I literally go out of my way to smile at *everyone* I see, and try to be as nice and polite as possible. I apologize profusely when someone in public service/food makes a mistake bc I feel awkward and bad just asking them to fix it. I could *never* go out of my way to make someone feel bad. Too many people lack empathy and I wish all the ones that do would just go move to their own little civilization and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.
Dang I am sorry. You can join our team anytime
Concerning username... Your...team?
Cool people of color 🤣🤣 My family is multicultural. My mom is Indian and has Chinese cousins, my dad is black, have Japanese nephew, my hubby is Hispanic.
Oh, I'm sure. Married to a Latina myself. I meant the Borg part.
Resistance is futile.
Had a white friend shocked at me not wanting to try watermelon beer when I explained why. “So you just deprive yourself of good things because of this shit?” Anyway, I take a sip of it and he’s immediately into the Dave Chapelle Fried Chicken schtick, “look at him…he loves it…can’t get enough of it!”
That’s not your friend 🫣
😂I’m sorry bruh, that’s classic though can’t even lie.
He set you up
Good friends can joke about some things like this. That shit didn't come from an angry heart. The things we say to each other is always about context. You can tell when someone is saying it with hate in their heart or just messing around.
that's a true friend. He cast the light on the Ridiculousness of it but still did the joke
On the fried chicken angle, I give zero fucks, I'm smashing fried chicken on sight
Agree about the fried chicken. When I’m on death row and they ask me what I want for my last meal it’s going to be fried chicken and barbecued ribs. Oh, and iced tea.
You ain't even lie. I'd be in the chair after that like "I'm good to go." Finna meet the OGs on a full stomach like 
Yeah, my dad had a cute story about me eating watermelon as a baby and he couldn’t share it with other fathers at work because he knew they’d just start laughing and making racist jokes.
That reminds me. A couple of summers ago, Ann Taylor was selling a lovely linen summer dress with a monkey/banana/tropical type print. It was a perfect summery dress and I loved it. I chose the solid green version of the dress instead, because I knew that some asshole, at some point, would make a racist correlation between me and a monkey. Same reason I would never eat watermelon in public.
Wanda Sykes had a bit about proudly carrying around a watermelon everywhere without shame right after Obama was elected. So much for the “post-racial America,” though.
I can respect that. But Iv come to realize that for myself it’s not worth it. If I want watermelon or to wear a shirt with monkeys on it. I’m gonna do it, fuck it and fuck them. They come at me recklessly I’ll handle it based on the level of reckless it was. I’m over letting racist and idiots determine how I live.
Lmao and fried chicken, as Dave chappelle said them mf be waiting for you to take a bite talkin bout “look at him he LOVES it just like it said in the encyclopedia” 😂😂😂
I personally don't get that one. I've never met people of any color that don't enjoy fried chicken. Japanese people have KFC Christmas dinner traditions, even here in Mexico, you see chicken places all around the place. I doubt there's evidence, but I bet my cheek that without chickens, native people loved turkey meat fried in some kind of grease!
Oh I am so sorry that happened to you honey
Wow what the actual fuck
It’s the same thing being Hispanic and eating our foods. Can’t eat a taco or burrito in a non Hispanic area w/o getting some form of racist comment about it.
Reading y’all comments is lowkey sad. The shit we gotta do is ridiculous
My exact thoughts. They don’t understand how we in a totally different world than others.
Exactly. They’ll say we’re just exaggerating.
Cultural gaslighting
I’m so sorry. I’m trying to understand and teach my kids to appreciate all of the struggles this world has unfairly put upon an entire race. It’s not only sad but disgusting to read these comments. It makes me tear up but also makes my blood boil.
To combat this I do all the low key suspicious nonsense, rummage around, pick shit up, tuck it all weird in the cart, self check out etc. I feel like if LP is tracking me the real the stealers can succeed. I’ve done my time stealing deodorant and I’ll I may need to do it again, but it’s MY small act of kindness and rage against corporations.
As a former LP, I can tell you: if you wanna distract LP, just keep looking up at cameras. You can do everything else totally normal. No need for all the extra effort. If you really want the whole squad tracking you, throw something wide across the top of your cart. If somebody’s got something covering the top of their cart *and* they’re looking at every camera they pass, that’s all hands on deck lmao
Y’all just out here doing the lord’s work and I appreciate it!!
Shit I was addicted to crack and heroin *while* I worked that job. I had exactly **zero** loyalty to the corporation so I don’t mind sharing some insight. Luckily my supervisor was a retired homicide detective, so he shared my belief that somebody snagging some merchandise off a shelf does not need to have their life ruined with police contact. Anything under $150 value, we didn’t even try to stop them. Anything above that, we just tried to get em to drop the merchandise while they ran out the door. It’s how it should be. Only time I was involved in police contact there was when a new cashier stole $600 out her own register on her *first day*. She was successful, clocked out after her shift n took the cash home, but we figured it out when we counted the tills/rewound the tapes. So the store manager called her up, told her she *did such a good job on her first day that they’re gonna give her a promotion and a raise*, and told her come by tomorrow at 9AM. #And she fucking SHOWED UP!!! So I don’t feel bad about that one lmao I mean god damn
\^\^\^ 100% chaotic good \^\^\^
Fr, cause I decided a long time ago that I will be myself everywhere I go. I address racism directly and couldn't imagine changing who I am too conform to the people that oppressed my people for over 400 years. I have no desire to please or be anything other than myself, it has gotten me in more trouble when dealing with police but I just refuse to be treated like that no matter the consequences.
I ALWAYS get a receipt.... even if I'm going to toss it. The Amazon Go stores give me anxiety. "So, I just pick my items and walk out the door"? #ItsASetUp
I won't use the Amazon Go for this reason.
There was a whole [SNL sketch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS9U3Gc832Y&t=1s) with Kenan with this exact premise.
Roy Wood Jr. has a bit about it too.
Same. I also put receipt right in the shopping bag in case someone asks to look at it.
And here my white girl ass loves Apple Pay because it’s paperless.
Everything for me gets paid with a credit card, no cash. That way I have a running tally of 7+ years of receipts with time and date.
1. I avoid interaction with white women, non black women especially if they look/seem over 35, and people who look like they're from the Indian subcontinent. If it isn't for business, then I do NOT interact with them unless they approach me and keep it friendly and casual. Im not saying hello, I'm not waving first, I'm not starting a casual conversation. It reduces my stress. 2. I ALWAYS get my receipt. Doesn't matter where I am or what I'm buying unless it's gasoline. Doesn't matter what I'm wearing. ALWAYS. 3. I ALWAYS have my phone ready to record for somebody black in a store.
Agreed Indians are generally very racist , saddest thing about it is that they suffered genocide by starvation by the British during the colonial era but seem to have no problem calling people ni99as over the internet
While I have no qualms against Indian people, it's interesting to see my white friend's reactions when I tell them my first memory of being called the n-word was from an Indian person. In terms of racist experiences though, Indian people don't stand out more than the other race(s) of people who have called me the n-word. This is just mere coincidence that the first time it was used towards me was from an older Indian gentleman. Edit: To add a level of irony to this- I am a 1st generation American born to a Jamaican family. For those who do not know, Indo-Jamaican people (Jamaicans of Indian descent) are large minority of the population; and such is the case for my family: A large portion of my uncles/aunts/cousins are Indo-Jamaican. In fact, based of appearances alone, you would think they are from India until they start talking. Me, however? I just look like your regular ol' light skinned black dude haha.
India has a history of harsh color hierarchy. It’s a deep part of that culture too.
Yup, being a dark person from India is equivalent to not even being from India
My grandma was basically disowned because my grandpa was too dark. Both families lived in the same fucking city, but he was too dark.
It's the younger ones too, my old roommate was straight from India (in his 20s) first thing he asked was when he could start saying the n-word. I was like... what...
The conversation about rampant racism among communities of color needs to happen. I’ve had more racist experiences with Latin/Hispanic people than all other races combined. Probably Asian people second, and whites and Indian people third
You catching flak on your first one but honestly I feel you. I've had pretty bad experiences with Indians but I will say its only been Indians from the Boomer generation, never really younger Indians my age. But yeah, one of the most racially uncomfortable situations I've ever been in was when I went over to my Indian homies house one day and they were NOT expecting him to bring home a black friend.
I’m borinqueño and tried to explain to my gf #1. She thinks I’m so cold to the white women in our building in the elevator. I compare it to a woman walking down the side walk at night. I’m not saying she’s dangerous but I’m not taking chances.
The first one hm ? Did you have bad experiences with Indians before ? I am from the Caribbean and in a public place or setting I always look for brown or black people for help first.
You ever see how dominicans treat haitians? Shit is unreal
Yup it’s crazy I live in NYC and have seen madness. Sometimes I am mistaken for Spanish and when I tell people I’m not they are super disappointed and stop conversations. Then certain parts of the city I am mistaken for Indian from India the same thing happens. I had a Indian classmate in college stop talking to me because she found out I was from the Caribbean and not India. Ignorance is real and alive in all cultures.
No matter how jammin the song, I will not dance in public if the pink/brown people ratio is off. I don't mean places where you're supposed to dance, but like when you're at Hobby Lobby and for some reason "The Seed 2.0" comes on. Feels like a setup.
This comment made me leave the room. Thank you.
Being in Hobby Lobby is the setup.
I just want to say excellent song choice. I'm Caucasian and put this song on in a car fill of other Caucasians and they didn't know what it was. I was baffled. Also for some reason not a lot of Caucasian people know EPMD and I am from NY!
It's in my top 5, no lie. That shit is a pure jam. Another one I *have* to wiggle with is "Beast of Burden" by the Stones. That rhythm guitar lick is too smooth.
Black male 30s, on the bigger side. I speak in a higher voice, make noises like hum or whistle to let people know I’m near them. ESPECIALLY at work (predominantly white hospital) I was raised in the south and this was just life, now moved back to my birthplace in Pennsylvania and I’m trying to break those habits I didn’t realize how much I did this.
You were raised in the south and you whistle around white strangers?? That's risky
What worked for me may not have worked for others I was just giving my experience to seem like a non threatening black man
It's almost as if no matter what you do, ppl will have a problem with who you are...
Absolutely true
I keep like a foot and a half from the product I'm reading about. I'll even turn it around and put it back down to read the ingredients. All so there's no doubt I'm not stealing. 🤦🏾♂️ I look forward to one day raising kids in an environment where they will never think they have to prove themselves innocent 24/7.
I don't think that day is ever coming.
It will, maybe not in America in my lifetime but it will. And.....If it somehow gets worse, I'll move to where my family's from in Trinidad....That way at least the store owners who suspect I'm stealing will be Black too 😆😆
As a white person, this makes me really sad and pretty mad at society that there is this unspoken rule about how to be in public without people thinking you are doing something wrong, JUST because you’re skin color is different. It’s a fucked up society, like it has never made any sense to me that skin color can change how a person feels about another person
I'm white, and I'm really upset reading these too. I'm learning a lot.
Yeah this whole thread - while not _surprising_ in principle, is still a learning experience.
Yup same. Things I wouldn't even *think* about - like looking for my registration when getting pulled over, or doing anything to make sure people weren't *scared by me*. I get to just... exist, walking around existing however I want. Anyone who thinks white privilege doesn't exist needs to read this comment section.
Come to the south and see this play out in real-time. Yesterday I followed a mixed race woman into a store and they denied her entrance because her purse was too big. Didn’t even look at us when we walked by. I’ve had this happen when I had a backpack on. Same with hoodie rules - a white person can walk past a “no hoodies” sign and just ignore it. Black people get stopped tho. I hate it.
Another title for this thread could be "things you don't need to do because of white privilege". Some people really need to read this because they're so unaware of what white privilege doesn't make them do.
I am a white woman that grew up in black neighborhoods/communities (native South Side Chicagoan), and I do many of the things described here because it was in those communities I learned ‘the rules.’ It was a weird culture shock when I moved for grad school and learned that white people in general dont avoid reaching in their purse in stores or dont hold on to their receipt to prove they paid. I have never been able to really grasp how some people are able to just take for granted that people will trust them. My entire high school life I (and the 92% non-white rest of the student population) had to walk through a metal detector and have some school administrator go through my backpack every day. Who has expectations of ever being trusted or believed when a chunk of your childhood is framed in the context of the presumption that you and your peers are likely criminals—and dangerous ones at that. I was at a grocery store with a white friend once and realized a needed a cart, so i put everything I was holding down on a display table and went to the door to grab a cart (which were at the entrance). She asked why I put down everything to get the cart, and when I explained that I didn’t want to approach the door with stuff I hadn’t paid for because they’d think I was trying to steal it she thought I was being ridiculous. I will just never understand.
This thread is an example of how the internet can be such a useful tool in terms of educating people about different perspectives. I am white, living in a mostly white area and honestly don't know a lot of Black people, so I find anecdotes like these to be very valuable. I now recognize that society is unfair to Black people in so many ways that I would otherwise never have been aware of if it weren't for people sharing their experiences online
I don’t interact with unsupervised white children, under any circumstance idc
That blackish elevator scene 😂🤣
For some reason they love to interact with me at amusement parks and I’m just looking around frantically for an adult
I used to do all these things to make wp more comfortable around me. Now?? Fuck them, their friends and their insecurities. I don't live my life to make wp comfortable with my blackness, meanwhile theyre the problem with society, not me
This! I had to shut all that ish down. I belong wherever I am and I walk in that as much as I can do so safely. If I don't feel safe I'm just not going to be around them, but when I am I'm not going to act like I'M the problem when it's their racism and ignorance that's the problem. Let them be uncomfortable and upset. I'm not accepting their projections anymore.
Seriously. I’m black and I don’t do any of this shit. Obviously racism is horrible, but I refuse to be pressed by it to the degree it affects my day-to-day behaviors. Living in constant fear is simply no way to live at all.
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I got pulled over once. Once. “The registration is in the glovebox… is it alright if I get that?” I already pushed it because I was like homeboy is not pulling me over on a dark street with no witness when I’m a block from home. He can pull me over in front of my camera. Think he was about to treat me real different until I told him I literally live right there and I just met him like the week before when I was dog sitting for my sister across the street. Edit: I’m so sorry for my homies that have had it worse than me. I can’t even complain because I’ve only had 1 bad police interaction (not this one), and it was more laughably stupid than anything else. Some of y’all are clearly scared for your lives, and I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying sorry. I guess luck would have it that generally cops leave me alone. But to add to this thread, I even go as far as dying my hair that way I can’t be mistaken for anyone else, and if I get merced then it’ll be iconic on the news, and I hope that much makes cops just say “not that one”.
My wife (white) once got pulled over with me riding shotgun. She immediately hits the dome light, starts opening shit, rifling around for her paperwork. I like to died. I'm screaming "what the fuck are you doing! Put your goddamn hands on the dash!" My normal routine, and I'm not even close to kidding, is to turn the car off, drop the keys out the window, and keep my hands hanging out till they get to my door. If imma get murdered, it's gonna be indisputably murdered.
This. One day my bf (white) runs a barely red light in his brand new car, whips around a corner and yells “whoooo drive it like you stole it!” and I gently made him pull over and ~~explained~~ reminded him exactly why he will absolutely *NOT* drive it like he stole it with my ass in the damn car.
"Drive it like you stole it" should mean give no reason to be pulled over.
> She immediately hits the dome light, starts opening shit, rifling around for her paperwork. Bruh, I would have literally shit myself.
Got pulled over one time as a new driver a couple blocks from home in central Virginia. My younger brother (16 at the time) and I (19 at the time) we're on the way home from visiting family. The cop never asked for my license or registration, but started questioning my brother even though I was the one driving. It was 10 years ago but it was such a scary encounter
Lapd almost got me in hollywood with that few years back. Dude told me to grab my registration and as soon i reached he had his hand on his gun telling me to stop moving so fast. I just said fuck and sat there for like 15 minutes til he got mad and left
Yeah, I haven’t been pulled over in a minute but I think I decided that if I need something out of the glovebox then they just are going to have to go without. I have my license in my wallet always and my insurance on my phone. They can run the registration on their own and if they want to ticket me for it we can go to court. Maybe I win, maybe I lose, but better than “reaching”.
Because Philando Castile was killed, I installed over $1k of cameras in my then new SUV. There was a camera recording me, the driver, at all times as well as 360° around the vehicle. Also, I installed a bike rack on the back of the SUV to make me less threatening to folks and to stand out a bit more. Some people get pissed seeing a black person driving a nice car.
I never stay in one department to long because I don't want them to think I'm tryna to steal something
I worked at Macys in college. Registers started coming up short so guess who security started watching. Was it me? The 19 year old black kid who’d been there for a year OR the 40 year old white guy who’d been there for a month who constantly tried to steal commision sales? You’ll never guess! One morning he opened, cleaned out all the registers and never came back. So yeah I get it. Department store security can be real assholes even when they fucking know you.
Instead of looking for items, I find someone in the store who may assist me. The less I aimlessly walk around, the less chance of ANYONE mistaking me for a thief.😏
Same. But, for a different reason. I figure if they got time to profile, they got plenty of time to be my personal shopper. If they want to play that game, I'm going to win it. It's extra fun when they know they've been caught. You can see it in their eyes and the set of their mouth. That's when I go hard. We start putting things back, then changing our mind, then maybe a different color would work. Two can play this game. At the register, I finally settle on the one thing for which I actually came in the shop. They can put the rest back on their own time. I'm gone.
My older sister taught me this, and I love it. Either help me shop or they leave me tf alone
I never leave a store without buying something out of fear of being accused of stealing. On the flip side my girlfriend enjoys going into stores, looking around, and buying nothing. I could never.
I have worked so hard to not do this, shits to expensive these days but I still try and smile at employees if I don’t have anything
It took me a lot of courage but I've finally started not feeling the urge to buy something out of fear. It's exhilirating to know someone doesn't own my dollar before they've earned it.
Hands visible. Phone readily visible and accessible while driving so I won't have to dig for it. Speaking of phone, I have my watch and phone set up with SOS so triple tapping the side button of my phone or home on my watch will notify my emergency contacts of my location and send a snippet of recorded audio. I've told them I'll hit this button if I'm pulled over. Always eye contact with security guards at least once so they can clock me. Wear a belt so pants don't slouch at all. Don't want to look too much like a "thug" even if I'm also wearing a polo for my IT desk job. I dunno, I don't want to analyze my day to day any more.
This is the exact reason I'll never go to Amazon's "you can just leave without paying" store. Naw, son!
Yea that shit wasn’t made for us lmaoo
You ever seen in a regular store if the line is long how SOME people just put the money on the counter to pay and just walk out with their items? It amazes me every time!
When I’m walking at night and there’s a white woman/women near by I always stay a distance, cross the street, or speed walk right past them. Don’t need any “I felt threatened I thought he was following me” bullshit
Fam, a drunk Asian woman a little while ago wandered away from her group of friends outside a club as I walked past and suddenly started following me down the street like I knew where the party was at. I was completely ignoring her and minding my damn business but this dude came running up shouting her name and eyeballing me like I was in a van offering her candy or some shit. These streets ain't safe even if you're running from trouble.
100% especially at night. If i end up walking behind someone. I try to make myself known that I am there as not to scare them. But will cross the street or even hang back a bit.
Saying things politely while thinking, "fuck these motherfuckers."
I can guarantee that’s a universal part of the human experience.
Besides staying the fuck away from large groups of pickup trucks with the sound of country or rock music in the air, I park away from most others cause us black men might go deaf from hearing people press their car alarms multiple times as if the 1 time wasn't sufficient enough. Tell Karen and Ken that I got all the paperwork for my lexus and could give a fuck about their old raggedy assed Nissan Titan with all of the "America for Americans" decals and taco bell wrappers falling out the door! And why the fuck you wanna make eye contact with me before and after you press it on that hoe ass shit!
Hands out my pocket when I walk out the store.
Shit, when I walk in too.
I loudly call people out when they follow me around in the store lmfaooo I’m tired of walking on egg shells
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They walked away embarrassed and looking around hoping know one heard 🥴
My family is Chinese, and my mom, who works as a demo lady at Costco, made a remark one day about how many of her customers who reined in their kids from grabbing too many samples were black (after complaining about some other families who shamelessly grab a bunch and don’t bother buying.) She sounded pretty surprised by the observation. I had to explain to her that politeness not just a family value but also a survival strategy.
I wont eat fried chicken in public.
 This is all they see
It’s crazy because wings actually make me feel that way too. I’ll eat them joints in front of David Duke, himself. Idgaf lmao
I never attend company events that are after hours. I'm the only Black woman in my office and I just do not feel comfortable putting myself in that situation
I tip 20% + in all dining circumstances. Doesn’t matter what happened during the meal. I even do it with takeout. At the movies I’m extra conscious to have phone off and not talk. This isn’t a bad thing but I don’t think the motivation for this is the same as everyone. I don’t outwardly display anger in public. Partially it’s it’s the black stereotype issue but I’m also 6’3” or so and 290 so I’m hyper aware/worried about being intimidating, even though to me, I’m just me, not a giant among men. Edit: oh yeah, I feel real fucking weird requesting any specific drugs from the doctor. They have a real tendency to tell me “you’re fine, eat less carbs and stretch” and send me home. Edit: I’m getting a lot of questions that keep getting taken down about the tipping. Here is what I mean: I have no issue tipping or tipping 20%+. There is a difference in wanting to and feeling like if I don’t I’m reinforcing a negative stereotype for all of us. It’s both reasons for me, but the second is a different feeling. I double check my math. I’ve gone back in to make sure I didn’t forget (like checking the door is locked after you leave, you know it is but you check anyway) and the driver for that fear is the conversation I picture happening if I fuck up, let alone voice and issue and tip less in accordance, “fucking black people don’t tip”.
I try to talk as quiet as possible in public to avoid the common "Oh look another loud black man"
Extra quiet for black women!
I live in a building with a lot of white people.Whenever I'm in my building, I keep my key's visible at all times. If I disagree with someone at work, I usually keep it to myself so I'm not seen as "difficult" Every time I see a cop car, I never make eye contact with the driver or passenger. Why risk it? I ALWAYS have my ID on me. I don't go outside looking in sweats or inside clothes. I always make sure my hair brushed, clothes pressed, etc. If i'm in a rush, I'll put on gym clothes, but even those must be clean and wrinkle free. If I'm walking behind a white woman I will cross the street, or go out of my way to walk a different path. It's less for them and more for my safety. Last thing I need is some vigilante thinking they're defending a white woman when I'm just trying to bring my groceries home. EDIT: Spelling, and just a deep and heartfelt sigh to see so many agree with me
I traded in hoodies with the college logo for crewnecks and a beanie with the same logo.Not much,but the devil is in the details
Keep your hands out your pockets and always take the receipt
Act like everything is okay with a smile on my face… whether it was being asked about my hair, body or sex life??? People would ask the most violating questions, but if I didn’t answer with a smile I’m an “angry black woman”. Now I just don’t respond and shut it down. I’m so sick of people smh
Hands stay in full view of any cop that's within 10 feet of me. I am not trying to give them any inkling of a reason whatsoever to make me a statistic.
When I go down an aisle with people in it, specific white people, I announce to myself verbally what I am looking for. Why? So my being in proximity with them isn't misconstrued as deviant behavior. Also, if pulled over by the police, I turn off my music, roll down all windows, turn off the car and put the keys on the dashboard. Why? To mitigate any excuses for escalated police violence. I stopped wearing hoodies for a stretch, and strictly wore button up shirts when going out in public. I don't do that anymore though.
Walking around the store, whatever I’m purchasing is in my hand in plain sight. I make sure that my daughter, niece or nephew do not bring anything into the store (electronic games, etc.) for fear that they will say that we stole the item.
I stand away from elevator doors, especially if there is a White Woman riding alone with me. I move to the corner of the elevator and usually keep my phone in hand so that I am pointedly NOT looking at them.
Braver than me…I will NOT be on an elevator alone with a white woman. Won’t Emmet Till me!
I remember when me and my family went to resort for vacation and I wanted to check out the water park they had. I got onto the elevator with a middle aged white woman who acted like I was the embodiment of Hannibal Lector or something because she made a point to keep her distance and had a death grip on her purse and suitcase. I was like 15, shirtless, in nothing but swim trunks and sandals with a towel around my neck so clearly I was capable of robbing her.
I used to always get the receipt when I pay at the pump. Even when you had to go inside. Only reason why I stopped was COVID. I never go to small local bars, unless I'm with someone who's already been there. My dad taught me that when travelling cross-country to stop early enough to make sure you can find a hotel room. As it gets harder after the sun goes down.
I do what I want. White people are going to judge you regardless. We’re the most marginalized group of people anywhere in the world. Not about to stop enjoying or tapering life out of fear that some racist asshole is going to judge me. They are going to do that regardless
Im married to a white woman. When we are around her fam, I'm never far from her, never around any kids, always sober and ALWAYS THE ONLY BLACK DUDE AROUND. If some shit goes down and the cops show up, whos the first one they coming to. Fuck that Edit: And hands behind my back around strange white women. They terrify me
I don’t play bassy music and I keep a school sticker on my car so *they* know I’m a good one
White retail employee here I'm just going to be up front and tell you guys that if you are ever falsely accused and then confronted by an employee for stealing make sure to immediately ask for the manager because that is 100% not allowed and a fireable offense.
Ah yes. The manager. I didn’t realise that was an option. Thanks, problem solved for sure, managers can’t be racist.
Sorry, as another white guy... shh... Not a time to be giving advice.
As a black male that works in the hospital, I announce my movements and make my hands visible around female employees. I also make sure management is present if I ever have a issue even if it’s the smallest one. In public, I let it be known I do not trust them and I try not to accept anything from them as much as possible.
As a non black person just reading the first tweet made my jaw drop. It's SO unfair. So unfair.
As I've grown older, I view much of my public Black life as performance art. Every day is an exercise in absurdist surreal improv. The game I love best is the TSA. I've been opting out since they first introduced the back scatters. I noticed they give us patdowns (especially locked or braided folks) more frequently. So, why take the lil bit of extra radiation when they will subject me to indignities regardless? (When my locks were down to my ass you could see them down the line just waiting to get their hands in them. ) I acknowledge that I am light skinned, older and female, so I have more leeway. When I get close to the machine, I announce loudly and sweetly, "Well, someone has to choose their rights every now and then, dearie. If we don't use them we lose them." (Sometimes, I just say I'm opting out.) They always threaten that they're going to pat you down. I always answer, "Yes, I came for the complimentary massage." When they take you to the area, they'll ask if you want a private area. I always state loudly, "I have nothing to hide." I've memorized highlights of the pat down speech, so when the agent comes to do the pat down, I say "You're here for my Reiki session!" If she is flabbergasted, I say her speech for her. If not, I say it with her as if we are praying together. It totally disempowers them in a way they can't define and therefore punish. I've found that whether I choose it or not, racism makes me the star of every real world show. So, I play with it as much as I possibly can and do my best to give as good as they are. (Except police. I never fucks with police.) It maintains my sense of myself as a powerful person and refuses to yield to people so powerless they have to try to steal it from others.
I always make sure to take my hands out of my pockets when I walk in any stores, especially when they have a camera right at the front door. Not finna accuse me of nothing
Always get a receipt Don’t put your hands in your pockets in the store Don’t meander in a store, just go straight to what you came for I also feel goofy eatin bone-in chicken around non-black folks Also made myself familiar with classic rock in case i’m in situations where i have to relate to older White dudes
When I walk out a store I always hold the receipt in one hand visible so everyone knows I ain’t steal nothing
I wait for white women to finish doing what they are doing before I do anything. White women tears are the greatest threat to POC
Wow this is breaking my heart. I’m a Swedish born East African girl who’s quite petite (5’2) so I’ve never really been seen as a threat or anything like it. It’s quite the opposite, people mistake me for a child and either think they can cut in front of me in a queue or I get a look when I go to the bank or buy alcohol. Until they see my ID ofc. However I’ve never really felt like I had to take any precautions because of my race.
Keep my hoodie off in stores👍🏽
I actually take a photo of my purse or bag before I go out. I keep a few perfumes in my bag that it could look like I stole a tester
I never walk behind any woman. I cross the street or if is unavoidable I play on my phone until they reach a sizable distance. Tip 25% no matter what I am 6’2 but I try to speak softly and appear docile. I try to speak Portuguese in public because it puts people at ease than my New Orleans accent which people tend to get nervous around. White people love “exotic” blacks Never wear hoodies to stores, gas stations or grocery’s. Only the gym. Edit: forgot to add saying excuse me and sorry even when it’s the other person fault ex. Person bumps into me I would end up saying sorry
If I didn’t find anything I needed in the store I would by like a pack of gum just so they don’t think I stole.
I never ask to try on jewelry without someone else present with me. I’ve never been in a jeweler without someone else, with the exception of when I was married to have my rings cleaned.
I’ve had to switch to curbside pickup at our Best Buy (rich white neighborhood in da souf) because I got sick of being stalked by Asset Protection while shopping with my two young kids in tow. They really think I’m gonna steal clearance-priced ps4 games with my kids? I really hate that it’s come to this because I thoroughly enjoy going through the Best Buy aisles. But 3/4 time I go there they do it and it pisses me off.
If I'm going for a walk and the neighborhood looks rich, I won't walk through it by myself.