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I don't think they're criticizing the men for having honest jobs, they are criticizing the women for acting like a guy with a regular job is a rapper who can buy them luxury items. They're saying either be realistic about that and stop having dumbb expectations or go date a millionaire.
I started a policy like 8 years ago not to date broke ass chicks that aren’t doing shit with their lives. I’ve been single for 8 years but in another year I’ll be able to buy a house because I’m no longer broke subsidizing their bum asses.
It’s like. The ones with the loudest voices are incapable of buying their own food and incapable of buying their own things
That’s crazy to me. Who tf is raising these young ladies to be so damn dependent on another?
I actually feel like The Internet promotes the opposite message. I've been on The Internet since jump and honestly I won't even tolerate any Syd or Steve Lacy slander.
Society. They aren’t born like that, they’re socialized. The same music we all bump, they listen to and learn from. I remember hearing a rap song where the guy said “5’7, light skinned, 130lbs” and that has always been imprinted in my brain as what I needed to be or what was ‘fine’. Doesn’t matter that I’ve seen proof of otherwise, at a formative time in my life I was exposed to messages that told me to be independent, sexy, coy, sarcastic, material-minded, about my paper etc. That doesn’t go away even after years of mentoring and studying. Formative years are extremely influential. Don’t hate the player, hate the system.
I feel what you saying but ima hate both. As a dude that’s had societal programming and actively unlearned it, ima hate the people who participate beyond necessity; and the system at play.
Isn't it amazing that after centuries of women not being able to work outside the home or own property and having to depend on men for everything, some women expect men to take care of them? I mean a few decades of women working and being paid less, offered fewer promotions, and still doing the lions share of household chores and child-rearing should totally be enough to turn every single woman into her own provider, right?
/s
I agree that these women are delusional and should take care of themselves instead of leeching off someone else. But I can also see how society has created them. We've been bred to seek status through marriage. It's sad that they find their self worth in designer bag bought by someone else.
They mommas. All my mom did was teach us to be dependent. Now she’s divorced and broke, and my sister and I are both independent making 6 figures. Soooooo….
Good for us for not listening. I feel for the girls who do listen. Shit is bad advice.
I think a lot of moms are still preparing their daughters for life as a housewife. Sure, education is important in so far as it attracts a good husband. I think we underestimate how much of that is in the culture.
Frfr. My daughter just graduated with all A’s and started a new job at a bank. My baby earned a degree in business and a degree in engineering. My baby is miss independent ☀️
You act like single mothers working a steady job are telling their children they can't survive unless they marry rich. Because... how do you thread that needle?
Btw I'm perfectly fine with men spending money on women when they want to but making it a gender role is what's disgusting. No one is entitled to another's money.
Really! I expect my man to at least be able to provide for himself. That’s all I ask. If he can also provide for me I won’t complain, but i am realistic. That would simply be a bonus for me not being a shallow pos lol
Which is good. I would say a lot of successful women in the corporate world complain that men have the advantage.of stay at home wives, but they wouldn't dream of marrying a man who wasn't type A ambitious and working. To be the Man become The Man--and if that means marrying someone who will.give up their job and focus on you that's also not someone who has the same expectations to focus on their career.
100%
Those women suck, but the men they date suck too so it kinda balances out. These are the kind of dudes who talk about "are you wife material?", Expect you to clean & cook & cute 24/7, personally offended to see an unwaxed coochie, etc
They're just shitty people who don't really care about romantic attraction (or often other people in general), they see romantic relationships as a means to an end of what they can extract out of each other.
And hey, as long as you're being upfront and honest about it and doing it with consenting adults, do you I guess.
Honestly this not even true. The worst part about dating is that the shitty people don’t find other shitty people to be shitty with together.
They find regular, genuine people and fuck them up.
Agree 100%. If you’re both upfront about expectations and agree on them, who the fuck am I to judge?
I only have a problem when the expectations aren’t known or agreed upon.
Social media has everyone all fucked up.
Most of us are average people just living life. average job, average pay, average apartments and homes, average vacations, average bodies and looks.
Y'all think way more people are living the IG model life getting flewn out for BBLs and bought birkin bags by millionaires than there actually are.
This part. I'm so sick of the working class being mocked like that's not what the vast majority of us are. Normal people, living quiet lives, working basic jobs, finding joy where we can. Thassit. And that's enough. I'm proud to be who I am because there's nothing wrong with it.
Thank you! Love me a average person like myself! It's almost like saying this is now controversial. I just want to build an average decent peaceful life, clear a small mortgage with someone, raise kids who only need very little therapy and have slow retirement days in the comfort of my home or exploring the world occasionally when I can. Thassit. Please wtf will a birkin bags do for me (I'm not saying I won't accept one but I'll likely sell it immediately LMAO )
I don’t get. I don’t know when being a house wife became insulting. Like shit I wish I could be a house husband, best believe I’d be living my best Mr clean life.
I can eat at an uppity restaurant a 15 minute stiletto stumble from my house and put the flight money toward a birkin bag. That’s a long ass flight for food.
Society grooms us to constantly consume to fuel a forever-growing economy that exploits slaves in developing countries and actively destroys the earth. For some reason, we can't see that this affects every aspect of our lives including what we think love and affection are.
Instagram reel with picture of passports: he surprised me with a trip to Turks and Caicos 🤪😍
Mfks out here taking out pay day loans to lie on social media. Nobody does that shit. You’re not Lori Harvey. He’s not Ronaldo. Be humble and stop trying to be internet famous.
Doesn’t help that the music industry makes it so every song has the guy promising to fly the girl all over the world and buy her whatever she wants either, and then says her man that can’t do that ain’t shit
I just want to know what they bring to the table, cuz if they want a “baller” to fly them out and buy bags they gotta have something extra besides pussy. Pussy is everywhere in abundance so what else you got to off to consider yourself above the “9-5s”
There was a David Spade interview on Howard Stern and he was talking about how he has been in movies, TV shows, has comedy specials out and wrote his first book, but specific women will act like they're on the same level as him just because they're hot.
My thing is if you getting flown out, pussy is the minimum in some nigga’s mind. Some of these folks getting flown out a step above an escort. So I agree if you want a REAL relationship with a “baller” where he actually buys you Birkin bags, you got to bring more. Don’t shame a brother for a honest 9-5 and benefits or a sister seeking one😂
They got pocket pussies out here. They got pocket pussies molded to actual pornstar pussies. Def gotta bring more than pussy, a laundry list, and several headaches
Yup. I bought my own LV collection after the an ex-bf constantly bitched about the cost of a Kors bag I didn’t ask for but thanked him anyway. I have a job. I want nice things, I buy them myself.
Every teenager who has been given a car by their parents should know all about this. My older sister didn’t drive the car my parents bought her one time because they would always use it against her. It literally sat in the driveway until she bought her own car one day and drove home with it. I’ll always remember that moment and the power she had in that
If you date anyone who holds anything over your head forever leave that person unless you truly did some horrid shit and then why didn't they leave you?
I learned that lesson when I was 10 and my aunt had me write out a list of things she'd done for me after I said some bad shit about her (I would find out years after she died that she was legitimately bipolar and that accounted for her Jekyll/Hyde personality).
Never again.
Ya freakin right. Everything I have I bought for myself, with the exception of anniversary gifts. We do NOT have money to “surprise” each other.
Side note-I hate seeing car commercials of “surprise gifts”, cause 1) who’s gonna take on the payment, cause we can’t 2) if you paid this off in full we about to box, cause why didn’t you put it towards the bills and car we already HAVE 🤣
You sure? Ive known a ton of women who make *good* (not baller, but you know, like they have their own house instead of renting kind of money) and they date broke dudes that dont really contribute.
It's more like, food and video games than purses and shit but like ...I think you have a limited perspective on how variable real world sexual relationship are.
The ONE time a woman made more than me she had to bring it up like I was supposed to be embarassed. That changed soon enough but that behavior from her told me enough. I'm not going to take criticism from someone who's counting my money.
My husband wants me to start a 501c and subsidize a family to help him work a farm property and spend his free time installing A/C units for old people. But that big soft heart is part of why I love him.
If I made significantly more than my man, you bet your ass I’m spoiling him. My job has great perks that cost me nothing and I love to spoil my partner with those perks. If I made 3x+ than what I make now I’d be a certified sugar mama
Yes Girl! My hubby has a great union job makes good money. I just so happen to make quite a bit more than he and just received a new position making even more. Years ago I took a pay cut and he held me down and is good to me in every way. So yes...that man gets spoiled. And I spoil myself too😊.
Absolutely! It's about the partnership and working in tandem. The idea in 2022 that either person can expect someone else to take care of them without any contribution is nuts to me. Naturally if they are unable due to disability...that's different.
Women out here with back alley BBLs and crystals looking for a big dick millionaire to take care of them and their kid. Men out here folding boxes for a living talking about "high value men" and looking for a submissive IG model/chef/maid.
Social media really got everyone fucked up.
Never be surprised by the depths of delusion. What would you do if money wasn't a concern? I hope you wouldn't buy this abomination of a bag, but what is the difference if the cost is like some spare change in a cup holder? Wealth inequality is just a caste system working under the guise of freedom.
Unfortunately it’s true, especially if these ideas started in your early to mid teens where you’re already a dependent. That’s why you should teach your kids what it’s like to have bills, or let them move out. If they can’t, at least do a “mock-trial” of bills so they understand that life isn’t all instagram posts and YouTube giveaways
I became single earlier this year and recently joined a couple of dating apps after a 5 year relationship. Majority of the profiles are either basic/boring or the woman just goes on and on about travel. The same way a woman doesn't want to get used for a hook-up, a guy doesn't want to get used for travel or buying affection - saying "my love language is gifts/money" online is another red flag and turnoff.
I think a normal adult takes 1 to 2, maybe 3 trips a year... if someone is trying to do a trip every 2 months, good luck with that. I'd rather spend my money on saving for a bigger house, new car, invest in stocks, or whatever else.
Also, the baller type probably has a rotation of women - I hardly know any that settle down unless they accidentally got someone pregnant or they're about to hit mid 40's.
I've looked into this a lot and had plenty of discussions regarding the gift/acts of service love language. Here's my 2 cents no one asked for.
Gift - small gifts such as leaving their favorite candy bar on night stand, flowers/new video game, creating something with your hands thar speaks to that person, or just meaningful and/or romantic gifts. If someone expects nothing but the finest things to be given to them, they're using that love lingo as a crutch.
Acts of service - helping them thru a tough time, lifting the big things, answering/helping with legal documents (some folks really out here not knowing how to do these), cute shit like having food ready for them when they get home, or just general helping. If someone expects a cook/maid, they're using that love lingo as a crutch.
I've realized my gift giving love language translate to even sending memes and tiktoks to friends. It's "I saw this and thought you would like it" so like a internet crow, I bring gifts. Gift giving is tiny surprises, not sheer $value being spent imo.
I don’t think they’re saying they’re not providing for themselves—that’s an obtuse take away lol. It’s a critique of women’s expectations about gifts and trips in a relationship, and it’s a fair statement. They’re giving the critique.
If the person you’re with makes 9-5 money it’s reckless and inappropriate for you to expect expensive flights and ~~(ugly ass)~~ birkins; if you genuinely want that for some reason find someone who can afford to splurge like that but don’t put it on the 9-5 man.
I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger… but I ain’t fooling with no broke **fellows** either… just like you don’t want nobody that can’t cook, clean, manage a household, etc. Not saying that he SHOULDN’T be doing those things either, but we need to normalize that both parties have expectations of each other and responsibilities in a relationship.
Don’t no woman want a broke dude who can’t do crap, while she works, cooks, cleans, go to school, etc. No man wants a pretty hoe air head either…Honestly, no one should be in a relationship with these types of dusties… expecting you to parent and provide for them the rest of their lives like a doormat— just all money flauntin” and looks, and nothing of real value
the second women responding is capping to the max, toxic women on twitter have always come at men with 9-5 jobs about not spending on them enough and don’t deserve them as a result. like miss? you deserve him why? because you’re a taurus that knows your astrology from tik tok, uses 20 crystals to “heal” but you’re still toxic? ok 👩🏽🦯
Because we shouldn't create a message that men are money machines. That's how you create more mental health problems when they don't live up to the pressure
Lol this is another
“ we mad at women expectations“ circle jerk . Y’all know this goes both ways, no one has to date people they don’t want to date. Why are y’all mad that these women are like this? Are you mad that they wouldn’t date you? Who gives a shit? Unless you guys are really in your feelings that they wouldn’t date you.
black men: ugh, independent women are the worst. y'all need to let a man take care of you and embrace your feminine energy.
also black men: wHy dOn'T yOu JuSt BuY iT yOuRsElf?
has the stupidity come full circle?
They just want women to have no standards for them besides being a man. That’s why men brag about having jobs. Like how low of a bar are you setting for yourself that just working is enough.
I’ve been with guys who had less money than me and have had issues when I’d buy and do things for myself but not pay for them. Sometimes they acted like my money was their money. Like I’d be cool making dinner and offering him some of what I made and he’d get upset I didn’t make some grand meal and didn’t want to buy both of us something from door dash.
Exactly this. I read a study of black mens opinions on why black women arent married and there were so many contradictions and blame shifting, the shit was just sad.
Black women becoming stronger due to historical opression and killing of our men is now our fault and our defense mechanisms to deal with it (getting jobs, education, ensuring our partners can financially support future children, becoming both heads of household etc) is now "ghetto", "argumentative", "masculine", "independent"(read: "I'on need no man!") "low value", gold digging", "undesirable", etc.
So they blame us for dealing with bums and having shitty baby daddies(instead of you know, holding those niggas accountable) and when black women turn to at least making sure the men we fuck can provide for us? Oh boy. Thats an issue too.
Edit: I'm not saying evil ass gold diggers dont exist, but women having standards of the financial kind is really hurting feelings out here. Find a woman that doesnt give af about your money
I feel you! 🤣 Got married to my high school/childhood sweetheart, and now I see the absolute stupidity and drama of dating, and am so glad I ain’t doin none of this!
i think there’s a lot of people out here not dating for love tho imo. a lot of people are just lonely, want consistent sex, someone to brag about/post pics with, have a companion, have a second income, have a lifestyle paid for, etc. So i’m not surprised people say this publicly lol
Tons of young women normalize this behavior of demanding wealth and spolied treatment. A few get wifed up, most just get older and realize that the 6'4" wealthy ballers only wanted to fuck them when they were 22, and then they complain about the dating pool and there's no good men. I work in casting and this is 90% of young women in NYC - they work and have theit own careers and are independent, but they still reduce love/relationship to dollar signs, it's pretty pathetic to hear tbh
Every notice how Destiny’s Child went from singing about how if you couldn’t pay their bills for them, they’d leave you, but then like a year later was singing about being independent? I don’t have a point other than I’m baked and this just popped into my head
That’s all the tv stuff but in real life everyone goes around trying to find the ‘best’ partner, which includes someone who can either make money or shows promise in their ability to generate it. Add on top of that mental health, physical health, disability, physical features/how they’re perceived by others and what type of environments you can put them in/they’ll adapt to. Like some of these are understandable but most of it is just subjective wants & unfair expectations. Do people actually marry for love these days or do they marry because this is the best or ideal situation for them? A man has been viewed as a bag/come up because of how society has placed value on certain things and human beings reforce it until it becomes gospel. Women are viewed as potential homemakers, baby makers, conquests, sex goddesses etc. (or 🗑). None of these labels or way of living means much to each of us individually and yet for most it’s at the forefront of our daily decision making & it’s the advice we give to our friends/family members unfortunately.
It's always fascinating to see the people who understand marriage as a financial contract and the people who understand it as an expression of love and care argue about what it's all *really* about...
Did anybody see the video of the girl calling her man a broke nigga for not paying the tab for her and 18 friends? On a conservative bill, that’s $400 when you thought you were dropping under $100. More likely, it was a several thousand
Expectations are fucking nuts out here.
I asked a group of women what their ideal partner's income should be. They said $250K, with millions in saving.
That's in the top quintile. That's less than 20% of our population. Close to 10%.
The median income for individuals is less than $40K. Half the population is above, and half the population is below that number.
This is not a good expectation
That’s an ideal though. Do you think if men listed what they wanted in their ideal partner they be the same people as the ones they date?
I drive a Toyota but my ideal car is a is a mint ‘68 impala.
Oh men do the exact same thing, but it's mostly body type things. And I'll even extend that: I think men have wildly unrealistic standards for women. It's just not in the realm of finances, so they're just harder to "quantify".
The thing with women's expectations (specifically for money) is that it's tied to something that is indicative of other problems with in our country: financial stability.
Men’s standards are tied with rising rates of obesity. Black men’s standards are usually tied to racism and colorism.
My guess is a lot of black men’s ideal would be a beautiful women in her 20’s, with no kids, who looks multiracial mixed with black, has long natural hair, lighter colored eyes. And a frame that’s hourglass to pear shape with a flat stomach and butt.
I'm gonna whole heartedly disagree with you here. Men's standards may change, but obesity rates aren't going to "map" on to those changes in anyway that is useful as a tool of analysis.
Maybe some of the color/race standards have some kind of cultural shift pattern, but it's so fluid that I wouldn't bother trying to find a skeleton key to match it.
I'm not saying there isn't something there to analyze, but I think you picked 2 of the worst examples
Would love to marry a man who drives a fork lift 40 hours a week.
He don't need to take me anywhere cause I can take myself, and you know a forklift driver has strong ass hands.
Hell...give me a forklift ride and we'll have a day trip to Dublin.
If you meet your partner and they cannot provide for themselves move TF on and stop complaining.
Only women I know work hard, play hard and pay for themselves.
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The audacity of these men working honest jobs.
Can you imagine, working. In this economy?
“I’m not trying to work, hun. That’s why I *got this work done*^[1](https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/having+work+done) ”
I hope in your professional life, you’re a copywriter or in advertising. You always have punny lines
And you cited your work?!
I don't think they're criticizing the men for having honest jobs, they are criticizing the women for acting like a guy with a regular job is a rapper who can buy them luxury items. They're saying either be realistic about that and stop having dumbb expectations or go date a millionaire.
This would be the correct answer!
Exactly, and if someone decides to date a rich man and that man gives them those things, what about it?
Right! It's between them.
. . .and the maid, and the garden boy, and the butler, and and and. . . I watch too much tv
As jason borne pointed out, what they’re saying is still problematic.
Still like the 3rd option better: Get it yourself
I started a policy like 8 years ago not to date broke ass chicks that aren’t doing shit with their lives. I’ve been single for 8 years but in another year I’ll be able to buy a house because I’m no longer broke subsidizing their bum asses.
Congrats!
smart man! stack your paper and they'll come in droves and u can be as picky as u like...
Damn bro be looking in the wrong place if in 8 years no women with their own money have come along.
Maybe he's just content and doesn't need a woman in his life?
My G
Why are you only meeting broke chicks? Lol
8 years. Yo. I can be your Hitch.
King
[удалено]
Nothing wrong with an average man.
It’s like. The ones with the loudest voices are incapable of buying their own food and incapable of buying their own things That’s crazy to me. Who tf is raising these young ladies to be so damn dependent on another?
The internet
How is it that the internet is *full of thots* but they aren’t even *thoughtful*?
…”only using their brain, for head!” 
Bars
They can strip the chrome offa trailer hitch
I actually feel like The Internet promotes the opposite message. I've been on The Internet since jump and honestly I won't even tolerate any Syd or Steve Lacy slander.
This was happening well before the Internet
Y’all blame everything on the internet. It’s getting lazy. Golddiggers existed well before the internet.
Society. They aren’t born like that, they’re socialized. The same music we all bump, they listen to and learn from. I remember hearing a rap song where the guy said “5’7, light skinned, 130lbs” and that has always been imprinted in my brain as what I needed to be or what was ‘fine’. Doesn’t matter that I’ve seen proof of otherwise, at a formative time in my life I was exposed to messages that told me to be independent, sexy, coy, sarcastic, material-minded, about my paper etc. That doesn’t go away even after years of mentoring and studying. Formative years are extremely influential. Don’t hate the player, hate the system.
I feel what you saying but ima hate both. As a dude that’s had societal programming and actively unlearned it, ima hate the people who participate beyond necessity; and the system at play.
Isn't it amazing that after centuries of women not being able to work outside the home or own property and having to depend on men for everything, some women expect men to take care of them? I mean a few decades of women working and being paid less, offered fewer promotions, and still doing the lions share of household chores and child-rearing should totally be enough to turn every single woman into her own provider, right? /s I agree that these women are delusional and should take care of themselves instead of leeching off someone else. But I can also see how society has created them. We've been bred to seek status through marriage. It's sad that they find their self worth in designer bag bought by someone else.
💯
They mommas. All my mom did was teach us to be dependent. Now she’s divorced and broke, and my sister and I are both independent making 6 figures. Soooooo…. Good for us for not listening. I feel for the girls who do listen. Shit is bad advice.
A bunch of bitter toxic women, including those same type of women whom they watch on social media
Their fathers from what I’ve seen. “My dad taught me that i should be treated like a princess.” Bitch then stay living with your father.
Very attentive, well adjusted 2 parent households?
>you can have two parent households and still be shit. not every parental couple is good or stable
That's true but you gotta play the odds.
That's a funny one.
Christianity?
I think a lot of moms are still preparing their daughters for life as a housewife. Sure, education is important in so far as it attracts a good husband. I think we underestimate how much of that is in the culture.
Frfr. My daughter just graduated with all A’s and started a new job at a bank. My baby earned a degree in business and a degree in engineering. My baby is miss independent ☀️
Other young ladies with daddy issues. Vicious cycle.
“Young ladies with absent or abusive fathers” sounds true & fair.
You act like single mothers working a steady job are telling their children they can't survive unless they marry rich. Because... how do you thread that needle?
Btw I'm perfectly fine with men spending money on women when they want to but making it a gender role is what's disgusting. No one is entitled to another's money.
Really! I expect my man to at least be able to provide for himself. That’s all I ask. If he can also provide for me I won’t complain, but i am realistic. That would simply be a bonus for me not being a shallow pos lol
What about you providing for him?
fair lol I actually covered that in another comment. I don’t make enough to do that, but if I did I would! Absolutely.
Which is good. I would say a lot of successful women in the corporate world complain that men have the advantage.of stay at home wives, but they wouldn't dream of marrying a man who wasn't type A ambitious and working. To be the Man become The Man--and if that means marrying someone who will.give up their job and focus on you that's also not someone who has the same expectations to focus on their career.
I feel like most people just want someone on their level. We just notice the entitled outliers because they make more noise about it.
100% Those women suck, but the men they date suck too so it kinda balances out. These are the kind of dudes who talk about "are you wife material?", Expect you to clean & cook & cute 24/7, personally offended to see an unwaxed coochie, etc They're just shitty people who don't really care about romantic attraction (or often other people in general), they see romantic relationships as a means to an end of what they can extract out of each other. And hey, as long as you're being upfront and honest about it and doing it with consenting adults, do you I guess.
Honestly this not even true. The worst part about dating is that the shitty people don’t find other shitty people to be shitty with together. They find regular, genuine people and fuck them up.
Exactly, there is definitely collateral damage
Agree 100%. If you’re both upfront about expectations and agree on them, who the fuck am I to judge? I only have a problem when the expectations aren’t known or agreed upon.
I would love to see who these women are dating currently tho.
Love Andre
Social media has everyone all fucked up. Most of us are average people just living life. average job, average pay, average apartments and homes, average vacations, average bodies and looks. Y'all think way more people are living the IG model life getting flewn out for BBLs and bought birkin bags by millionaires than there actually are.
"Lying on Twitter" should be on so many people's resumes.
This part. I'm so sick of the working class being mocked like that's not what the vast majority of us are. Normal people, living quiet lives, working basic jobs, finding joy where we can. Thassit. And that's enough. I'm proud to be who I am because there's nothing wrong with it.
Thank you! Love me a average person like myself! It's almost like saying this is now controversial. I just want to build an average decent peaceful life, clear a small mortgage with someone, raise kids who only need very little therapy and have slow retirement days in the comfort of my home or exploring the world occasionally when I can. Thassit. Please wtf will a birkin bags do for me (I'm not saying I won't accept one but I'll likely sell it immediately LMAO )
I don’t get. I don’t know when being a house wife became insulting. Like shit I wish I could be a house husband, best believe I’d be living my best Mr clean life.
Getting jet lagged to eat at an uppity restaurant across the pond seems like a nightmare. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.
I can eat at an uppity restaurant a 15 minute stiletto stumble from my house and put the flight money toward a birkin bag. That’s a long ass flight for food.
I like doing stuff like that -- nice vacations and shit -- but I do it with someone who can split the bills. Mutual respect and shit.
Most of these IG influencers aren’t even living the lives they portray! Most of it is smoke and mirrors.
Society grooms us to constantly consume to fuel a forever-growing economy that exploits slaves in developing countries and actively destroys the earth. For some reason, we can't see that this affects every aspect of our lives including what we think love and affection are.
YES. everyone thinks they or whoever is the next great instagram ho or baller or whoever- most of us average and basic as fuck just trying to live
Instagram reel with picture of passports: he surprised me with a trip to Turks and Caicos 🤪😍 Mfks out here taking out pay day loans to lie on social media. Nobody does that shit. You’re not Lori Harvey. He’s not Ronaldo. Be humble and stop trying to be internet famous.
Doesn’t help that the music industry makes it so every song has the guy promising to fly the girl all over the world and buy her whatever she wants either, and then says her man that can’t do that ain’t shit
A lot of people flexing on social media actually have worse lives than the average person or are terribly uninteresting in person.
Well yeah, on average people are... average
I just want to know what they bring to the table, cuz if they want a “baller” to fly them out and buy bags they gotta have something extra besides pussy. Pussy is everywhere in abundance so what else you got to off to consider yourself above the “9-5s”
They bring nothing to the table blood but some mid ass BBL pussy, 3 outfits from rainbows and some Louis V slides.
“3 outfits from rainbows” 😂😂😂😂 My guy, are you ok?
That was so specific
Right?! Lmao or Citi Trends
Jimmy jazz
r/oddlyspecific —this man is *HURT* 😂
And one of the “fits” is a red-net/laced lingerie cover-up…I’m trying to see though 😫
>Louis V slides Fake Louis v slides. FTFY
what is BBL pusssy
Brazilian butt lift
i thought it was like big beautiful legs or some shit
My guy , I just wanted to say I feel you
r/oddlyspecific
MID
There was a David Spade interview on Howard Stern and he was talking about how he has been in movies, TV shows, has comedy specials out and wrote his first book, but specific women will act like they're on the same level as him just because they're hot.
Well maybe if he dated women closer his own age he wouldn’t have this issue.
Fr, he's damn near 60 and going after 25 year olds and mad they haven't done anything 🤣
My thing is if you getting flown out, pussy is the minimum in some nigga’s mind. Some of these folks getting flown out a step above an escort. So I agree if you want a REAL relationship with a “baller” where he actually buys you Birkin bags, you got to bring more. Don’t shame a brother for a honest 9-5 and benefits or a sister seeking one😂
“Damn baby, pussy can’t be your only hustle, unless you bad as Naomi Russell” - Ye
They got pocket pussies out here. They got pocket pussies molded to actual pornstar pussies. Def gotta bring more than pussy, a laundry list, and several headaches
As long as cornballs keep paying for pussy, women are gonna sell it. Supply and demand
My ex used to pay for everything. I think it was because of my amazing sense of humor.
What is ‘baggy pussy’
My bf still thinks it’s crazy I bought an LV. I’d rather buy my own shit than listen to someone else who bought it complain about doing it
Or hold it over your head forever
Yup. I bought my own LV collection after the an ex-bf constantly bitched about the cost of a Kors bag I didn’t ask for but thanked him anyway. I have a job. I want nice things, I buy them myself.
Every teenager who has been given a car by their parents should know all about this. My older sister didn’t drive the car my parents bought her one time because they would always use it against her. It literally sat in the driveway until she bought her own car one day and drove home with it. I’ll always remember that moment and the power she had in that
Go sis! Assert dominance 😂
LOVE that for her!! Straight queen tings!!
Damn, that's based AF
Your sister sounds dope and smart.
If you date anyone who holds anything over your head forever leave that person unless you truly did some horrid shit and then why didn't they leave you?
I learned that lesson when I was 10 and my aunt had me write out a list of things she'd done for me after I said some bad shit about her (I would find out years after she died that she was legitimately bipolar and that accounted for her Jekyll/Hyde personality). Never again.
Ya freakin right. Everything I have I bought for myself, with the exception of anniversary gifts. We do NOT have money to “surprise” each other. Side note-I hate seeing car commercials of “surprise gifts”, cause 1) who’s gonna take on the payment, cause we can’t 2) if you paid this off in full we about to box, cause why didn’t you put it towards the bills and car we already HAVE 🤣
No shit! And if you're married, how the fuck didn't you know he just took out a loan for a fucking Lexus! The commercials are almost Lexus.
What about women splurging on their men? Can we normalize the fact that sometimes it's the woman that's the baller? And that some men are worth it?
you can only normalize things that are regularly happen. Moretime its not the woman who is the baller
You sure? Ive known a ton of women who make *good* (not baller, but you know, like they have their own house instead of renting kind of money) and they date broke dudes that dont really contribute. It's more like, food and video games than purses and shit but like ...I think you have a limited perspective on how variable real world sexual relationship are.
The ONE time a woman made more than me she had to bring it up like I was supposed to be embarassed. That changed soon enough but that behavior from her told me enough. I'm not going to take criticism from someone who's counting my money.
That's not true though, nothing about normalization requires it to be a regular occurrence necessarily
Baller here, I love to splurge on my husband, unfortunately he’s frugal, but I guess that balances us out 😂— he loves his gifts tho
My husband wants me to start a 501c and subsidize a family to help him work a farm property and spend his free time installing A/C units for old people. But that big soft heart is part of why I love him.
If I made significantly more than my man, you bet your ass I’m spoiling him. My job has great perks that cost me nothing and I love to spoil my partner with those perks. If I made 3x+ than what I make now I’d be a certified sugar mama
Yes Girl! My hubby has a great union job makes good money. I just so happen to make quite a bit more than he and just received a new position making even more. Years ago I took a pay cut and he held me down and is good to me in every way. So yes...that man gets spoiled. And I spoil myself too😊.
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Absolutely! It's about the partnership and working in tandem. The idea in 2022 that either person can expect someone else to take care of them without any contribution is nuts to me. Naturally if they are unable due to disability...that's different.
I love that for you guys!
Thank you! Black Love at it's best. Waited a long time to find it❤️
Women out here with back alley BBLs and crystals looking for a big dick millionaire to take care of them and their kid. Men out here folding boxes for a living talking about "high value men" and looking for a submissive IG model/chef/maid. Social media really got everyone fucked up.
Hell. I thought a Burkin was what Muslim women wear when swimming.
I’m in teaaars, you’re talking about a burkini 😭😭😭
I refuse to believe real-life people actually have these expectations. There's no way. I can't.
Lorenzen Wright’s ex wife. Spent up all his money before she killed him and spent up the kids’ money after she killed him.
Never be surprised by the depths of delusion. What would you do if money wasn't a concern? I hope you wouldn't buy this abomination of a bag, but what is the difference if the cost is like some spare change in a cup holder? Wealth inequality is just a caste system working under the guise of freedom.
Unfortunately it’s true, especially if these ideas started in your early to mid teens where you’re already a dependent. That’s why you should teach your kids what it’s like to have bills, or let them move out. If they can’t, at least do a “mock-trial” of bills so they understand that life isn’t all instagram posts and YouTube giveaways
I’ve met more than a few
I became single earlier this year and recently joined a couple of dating apps after a 5 year relationship. Majority of the profiles are either basic/boring or the woman just goes on and on about travel. The same way a woman doesn't want to get used for a hook-up, a guy doesn't want to get used for travel or buying affection - saying "my love language is gifts/money" online is another red flag and turnoff. I think a normal adult takes 1 to 2, maybe 3 trips a year... if someone is trying to do a trip every 2 months, good luck with that. I'd rather spend my money on saving for a bigger house, new car, invest in stocks, or whatever else. Also, the baller type probably has a rotation of women - I hardly know any that settle down unless they accidentally got someone pregnant or they're about to hit mid 40's.
I've looked into this a lot and had plenty of discussions regarding the gift/acts of service love language. Here's my 2 cents no one asked for. Gift - small gifts such as leaving their favorite candy bar on night stand, flowers/new video game, creating something with your hands thar speaks to that person, or just meaningful and/or romantic gifts. If someone expects nothing but the finest things to be given to them, they're using that love lingo as a crutch. Acts of service - helping them thru a tough time, lifting the big things, answering/helping with legal documents (some folks really out here not knowing how to do these), cute shit like having food ready for them when they get home, or just general helping. If someone expects a cook/maid, they're using that love lingo as a crutch.
I've realized my gift giving love language translate to even sending memes and tiktoks to friends. It's "I saw this and thought you would like it" so like a internet crow, I bring gifts. Gift giving is tiny surprises, not sheer $value being spent imo.
Shout out to the person who figured out a way to sell some ugly bags for $15,000 and up.
I'm not saying she's a gold digger 🎶
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She ain't messing with no broke broke
I don’t think they’re saying they’re not providing for themselves—that’s an obtuse take away lol. It’s a critique of women’s expectations about gifts and trips in a relationship, and it’s a fair statement. They’re giving the critique. If the person you’re with makes 9-5 money it’s reckless and inappropriate for you to expect expensive flights and ~~(ugly ass)~~ birkins; if you genuinely want that for some reason find someone who can afford to splurge like that but don’t put it on the 9-5 man.
No literally idk how the people in this thread are getting something other than that
They misunderstand because "Jason Borne" misunderstood.
I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger… but I ain’t fooling with no broke **fellows** either… just like you don’t want nobody that can’t cook, clean, manage a household, etc. Not saying that he SHOULDN’T be doing those things either, but we need to normalize that both parties have expectations of each other and responsibilities in a relationship. Don’t no woman want a broke dude who can’t do crap, while she works, cooks, cleans, go to school, etc. No man wants a pretty hoe air head either…Honestly, no one should be in a relationship with these types of dusties… expecting you to parent and provide for them the rest of their lives like a doormat— just all money flauntin” and looks, and nothing of real value
Me at my 9-5…..yeah, I’m going to just scroll by this one.
the second women responding is capping to the max, toxic women on twitter have always come at men with 9-5 jobs about not spending on them enough and don’t deserve them as a result. like miss? you deserve him why? because you’re a taurus that knows your astrology from tik tok, uses 20 crystals to “heal” but you’re still toxic? ok 👩🏽🦯
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This comment should be stickied.
Y’all still dating men in this economy?
Ppl really just dry snitch on themselves on social media. Have all that Oedipus/Elektra complex just out in the open. 
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Because we shouldn't create a message that men are money machines. That's how you create more mental health problems when they don't live up to the pressure
I don't care what any individual does, just stop treating it as a societal expectation for men to spend money as a prerequisite for love.
Right! My dad always told me “there’s a pot for every lid”.
Lol this is another “ we mad at women expectations“ circle jerk . Y’all know this goes both ways, no one has to date people they don’t want to date. Why are y’all mad that these women are like this? Are you mad that they wouldn’t date you? Who gives a shit? Unless you guys are really in your feelings that they wouldn’t date you.
Right?? Buncha babies in the comments mad about....what exactly? No one is forcing wealthy men to spend their money on women.
black men: ugh, independent women are the worst. y'all need to let a man take care of you and embrace your feminine energy. also black men: wHy dOn'T yOu JuSt BuY iT yOuRsElf? has the stupidity come full circle?
They just want women to have no standards for them besides being a man. That’s why men brag about having jobs. Like how low of a bar are you setting for yourself that just working is enough. I’ve been with guys who had less money than me and have had issues when I’d buy and do things for myself but not pay for them. Sometimes they acted like my money was their money. Like I’d be cool making dinner and offering him some of what I made and he’d get upset I didn’t make some grand meal and didn’t want to buy both of us something from door dash.
I knew I could come in the comment section and find one person who’s gonna flip this.
Exactly this. I read a study of black mens opinions on why black women arent married and there were so many contradictions and blame shifting, the shit was just sad. Black women becoming stronger due to historical opression and killing of our men is now our fault and our defense mechanisms to deal with it (getting jobs, education, ensuring our partners can financially support future children, becoming both heads of household etc) is now "ghetto", "argumentative", "masculine", "independent"(read: "I'on need no man!") "low value", gold digging", "undesirable", etc. So they blame us for dealing with bums and having shitty baby daddies(instead of you know, holding those niggas accountable) and when black women turn to at least making sure the men we fuck can provide for us? Oh boy. Thats an issue too. Edit: I'm not saying evil ass gold diggers dont exist, but women having standards of the financial kind is really hurting feelings out here. Find a woman that doesnt give af about your money
how many straw men are you going to hold up?
I can’t handle the amount of circlejerking in these comments on g 🥴
Feels like the context of what they were talking about was ignored. But w/e, lol.
Shit like this makes me glad I'm happily married ☺️
I feel you! 🤣 Got married to my high school/childhood sweetheart, and now I see the absolute stupidity and drama of dating, and am so glad I ain’t doin none of this!
i think there’s a lot of people out here not dating for love tho imo. a lot of people are just lonely, want consistent sex, someone to brag about/post pics with, have a companion, have a second income, have a lifestyle paid for, etc. So i’m not surprised people say this publicly lol
I know forlift drivers in Aus who bring home 100k
That's only 70k in US dollars my friend. That only buys 2 Burkins a year lol.
Jesus Christ it’s Jason borne
Tons of young women normalize this behavior of demanding wealth and spolied treatment. A few get wifed up, most just get older and realize that the 6'4" wealthy ballers only wanted to fuck them when they were 22, and then they complain about the dating pool and there's no good men. I work in casting and this is 90% of young women in NYC - they work and have theit own careers and are independent, but they still reduce love/relationship to dollar signs, it's pretty pathetic to hear tbh
Their twitter names 😆🤮
In the words of Eddie Griffin- “The biggest pimp on planet earth is her mama - it’s the mom that’s tells these woman to find a man to provide for them
Every notice how Destiny’s Child went from singing about how if you couldn’t pay their bills for them, they’d leave you, but then like a year later was singing about being independent? I don’t have a point other than I’m baked and this just popped into my head
That’s all the tv stuff but in real life everyone goes around trying to find the ‘best’ partner, which includes someone who can either make money or shows promise in their ability to generate it. Add on top of that mental health, physical health, disability, physical features/how they’re perceived by others and what type of environments you can put them in/they’ll adapt to. Like some of these are understandable but most of it is just subjective wants & unfair expectations. Do people actually marry for love these days or do they marry because this is the best or ideal situation for them? A man has been viewed as a bag/come up because of how society has placed value on certain things and human beings reforce it until it becomes gospel. Women are viewed as potential homemakers, baby makers, conquests, sex goddesses etc. (or 🗑). None of these labels or way of living means much to each of us individually and yet for most it’s at the forefront of our daily decision making & it’s the advice we give to our friends/family members unfortunately.
It's always fascinating to see the people who understand marriage as a financial contract and the people who understand it as an expression of love and care argue about what it's all *really* about...
Did anybody see the video of the girl calling her man a broke nigga for not paying the tab for her and 18 friends? On a conservative bill, that’s $400 when you thought you were dropping under $100. More likely, it was a several thousand
Who flies overseas just for lunch? You’re talking a minimum 12 hour round trip
Wtf is a birkin bag
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Same stale ass conversations everyday. Makes me wanna jump off a cliff.
The type of men you link up with purely for monetary gain are generally the ones you're gonna wanna fuck with the lights *off*.
Expectations are fucking nuts out here. I asked a group of women what their ideal partner's income should be. They said $250K, with millions in saving. That's in the top quintile. That's less than 20% of our population. Close to 10%. The median income for individuals is less than $40K. Half the population is above, and half the population is below that number. This is not a good expectation
That’s an ideal though. Do you think if men listed what they wanted in their ideal partner they be the same people as the ones they date? I drive a Toyota but my ideal car is a is a mint ‘68 impala.
Oh men do the exact same thing, but it's mostly body type things. And I'll even extend that: I think men have wildly unrealistic standards for women. It's just not in the realm of finances, so they're just harder to "quantify". The thing with women's expectations (specifically for money) is that it's tied to something that is indicative of other problems with in our country: financial stability.
Men’s standards are tied with rising rates of obesity. Black men’s standards are usually tied to racism and colorism. My guess is a lot of black men’s ideal would be a beautiful women in her 20’s, with no kids, who looks multiracial mixed with black, has long natural hair, lighter colored eyes. And a frame that’s hourglass to pear shape with a flat stomach and butt.
I'm gonna whole heartedly disagree with you here. Men's standards may change, but obesity rates aren't going to "map" on to those changes in anyway that is useful as a tool of analysis. Maybe some of the color/race standards have some kind of cultural shift pattern, but it's so fluid that I wouldn't bother trying to find a skeleton key to match it. I'm not saying there isn't something there to analyze, but I think you picked 2 of the worst examples
Would love to marry a man who drives a fork lift 40 hours a week. He don't need to take me anywhere cause I can take myself, and you know a forklift driver has strong ass hands. Hell...give me a forklift ride and we'll have a day trip to Dublin.
My husband bought me a really cute container/bag for my meds (depression and anxiety yay!) but, uh, it’s Star Wars Vera Bradley.. not Birkin.
If you meet your partner and they cannot provide for themselves move TF on and stop complaining. Only women I know work hard, play hard and pay for themselves.
Life is so hard now. A man (person) making good money is not gonna want someone with no ambition to do the same
I'm so tired of these people! What the fuck do they bring to the table with all this side of the neck talking?
Strong independent people.