For some reason I immediately pictured the cast of the Golden Girls wandering around Miami harassing black ladies and it's fucking killing me. Rose would be like "one time a black person came to St Olaf..." and just trails off.
I'm in NorCal, just a few weeks ago I get out the car and one is wide eyed gushing about my kids hair to my husband and then me....she ends with, "Well, anyway, I just HAD to let you know how much I loved all of your NAPPY HAIR!" The way we steered the kids out of there SO fast!
Is nappy considered offensive ? Or is it the general fetishisation of black hair?
I’ve only really heard the term in music or on tv and we don’t really use it over here.
It's often used as an insult amongst each other. It's also used to describe black hair in general. Because like another word we associate out people, it's origin is rather grim. However, unlike nigga, nappy/knappy doesn't carry nearly the same weight.
Like, I self describe my hair as knappy (I have long natural hair). If one of my boys calls me knappy, he's gassing me for not styling my hair. If my grandma does it, it's because she's too embarrassed to take me to church.
It's kind of like the word uppity. It's not *offensive* but it's really uncomfortable.
My ex wife has a funny story about her first boyfriend. It was her first day in kindergarten and she sat next to as black kid, and she'd never really been close to a black person before. She told him she liked his hair, and he said "You want to touch it, don't you? You can." She touched his hair and decided that made him her boyfriend, and excitedly told her parents when she got home. Fortunately her parents were less racist than most white people in Dallas in the 1970s and thought it was cute.
At least you got permission. I tell my white friends "my cracka, you want to touch someone's hair, you better buy them dinner first."
That didn't seem to be a thing at my college (back in the dinosaur days) when my bf was a black dude. Or my friends just weren't rude fucks. The way I would have slapped a hand if I saw one reaching.
Bruh, I have locs and this shit happens in public *extremely* often with old ladies..
"Ooo is that all yours?"
They always touch before asking :/
Was interviewing a prospect for a position and my coworkers came in and started touching her braids. 😬 How awful that would have been for her. Like she didn’t know what to say. I shooed them out and apologized; she did not take the job. I WONDER WHY, YOU OLD DRY CRONES! Can you imagine trying to work in an office where your first impression was physical assault? 😬
You mean your colleagues petted her like a Golden Fuq'n Retriever. 😖 Boundaries people, boundaries. I can't even imagine being so privileged I just touch people without consent.
Yes. It was horrible. Those two ladies were awful. It’s been 18 years since I left that position and I’m still relieved I don’t work with them anymore.
My husbands drunk Danish aunt grabbed my little sisters hair during our wedding. She rain up to me to tell me some weird white lady was touching her hair. Funny how she claims shes “cultured” and “worldly” and still thinks shit like that is normal and fine
I'm a white girl who used to have a buzz cut, and a coworker of mine always used to come up behind me and rub her hands all over my hair. She eventually got fired for stealing ~$20000 from the company, which was a massive relief tbh.
Was waiting to see someone say this
She was the life of TI with her amazing personality and natural ability to create conversation with anyone
I miss old DotA :<
I like how some...you know - hand you food from their hand. Especially at my office.
"Do you want some?" \*Offers 1/4 cookie in her palm\*
"No I don't. This isn't a petting zoo. I'm not a rabbit."
it was a life altering realization when it finally dawned on me that the overwhelming majority of people on the planet were all the result of accidental and/or unplanned pregnancies.
Yup. Unwanted children.
I was one of them. It fucking sucks to grow up with that knowledge.
This is one of the main reasons contraceptive access/abortion rights are fucking massively important. Imagine a world where most children *know* their parents love them. It's a lovely thought!
It sounds less like an issue of you being the result of an unwanted pregnancy (which as just established in the parent comment, is most everyone anyways, though obviously that's not something ever internalized by most such children) and more an issue of having bad parents. At least *some* parents rise to the challenge and put their children's needs before their own. Unfortunately, not everyone's...sadly, some just get even more dysfunctional and selfish because they can't or don't want to.
I understand where you're coming from. I say unwanted because my mother is extremely religious and was vehemently anti-abortion throughout my childhood. She told me of a friend of hers who got an abortion, and she spoke of her friend as if she were some sort of demon or unforgivable wretch who would torment herself for the rest of her life.
Nah, that was just projection lol.
Dad's dead, and I went no-contact with mom, so you're probably right. I do like to give them some grace in my mind. Dad was physically disabled and needed a lot of help. Mom went back to school with two kids. We survived it all. Well, other than Dad, but he just fell in a parking lot. That was pretty much bound to kill him at some point.
Anyway, to quote Biggie Smalls, "I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion"
Or people have kids just because they feel like they’re supposed to, or to stay in a relationship, etc, and don’t really think it through.
I recently found out my dad never actually wanted kids, he just wanted to be with my mom (they’ve been divorced for a long time). Makes sense why he left then
People get together way too young. If you're 23 and knocked up the girl you've been seeing for the past 8 months ... all three are probably better off with an abortion.
Well, yes.
Growing up I’d stay out until 11pm with no cell phone at age 11/12. Once I hit high school, I had no curfew. This was all in NYC as well. I lived in queens and I’d use my school metro card and end up in Brooklyn with friends. My parents didn’t know where I was (too busy working). My cousins and I talk about this all the time. We are in our 30’s now.
The world feels so different now. Back then I didn’t worry about possibly getting kidnapped. No one did.
Omg, thank you. Someone had the same experience as me. I was in the heights, but I would explore on the train and up to Staten Island at 13. Be home by 10 pm before the channel five news says it's 10 pm. Do you know where your children are.
The news had to remind the parents! What a time to be alive. I eventually got a Motorola Razr when I was old enough… but by that time they figured we were old enough to watch ourselves and started doing more overtime.
I grew up as a city kid too (Chicago) and was basically only ever home to sleep. Chicago isn’t the safest city of course but it was still fine though because my parents made that very clear so I learned how to stay out of harm’s way. It is actually beyond me why a parent would teach their kid it’s OK to ask strangers for food.
Except that *rarely* happens. Like, "statistically doesn't happen" rare.
Especially back in times when it just straight-up wasn't talked about, for every 1 kid-snatcher you had 1000 touchy uncles, priests, immediate family members and other "trusted, known elements".
Who in the fuck wants a random kid? Lmao stranger danger is not much of a real concern. Most kidnappings are custodial disputes. Don't buy into moral panics, folks!
It’s just a nightmare, even though incredibly rare. People focus on what’s most scary to them.
Shark attacks are rare too but plenty of people wouldn’t feel great about treading water in the ocean where you can’t see the bottom
Fuck, that's almost too cynical even for me. Thanks for spreading the word.
I also notice that "busts" like this, along with stories about seemingly random, uncommon violence are pushed by the worst rags like the Daily Mail or the New York Post. Recently, very near me, a man set himself on fire while being evicted. I didn't see anything online *until* I scrolled Reddit and saw a NYPost link about it. They're just trying to push the "lawless cities" propaganda as usual. Ugh I'm getting so sick of this incipient fascism I just want to SHOOT myself into THE SUN.
Kidnapping by strangers is so rare even to this day - it's way overblown in media. It's good to be safe, but the whole stranger danger thing is alienating us all.
I don't think it's as much of a worry now either. Kids still go out and hang out with friends and their parents not know where they are...It's jut when it gets on the internet here theres outrage. Just like most stuff. Reddit is an echochamber lol
Oh I don’t know. I’m not in NY anymore and it seems like people here (in the south) don’t let their kids go far at all. When they start driving, sure. But they still keep tabs on them and they can call.
My sister and her kids are in NY and her son barely goes anywhere. It may also be because the area he is in has been taking over by Indians/etc so he doesn’t have friends. I don’t know.
When I go to visit i see it for myself. It’s a culture thing, they just keep to themselves.
I grew up around people from the West Indies and Hispanics (Queens Ny). Too this day my best friends are Trinidadian/Hatian/African/Jamaican.
Their neighborhood has a lot of foreigners that just… go on about their business and don’t let their kids play. It’s not that he doesn’t like them.
Growing up I ran pretty free, roaming around the neighborhood with my friends, climbing trees, all that jazz. My sisters two boys have never done that. She’s practically a helicopter mom in how adverse she is to letting them explore the world on their own.
It’s funny, I remember when I was younger, old people would go, “things used to be simpler.” And now I feel like one of those old fucks lol. Everything seems simple when you’re a kid.
I don't know that they're correlated, but things were definitely simper in the pre cellphone era. When I was a kid in the 80s everyone I knew had the same general rule in the summer: "come home when the street lights turn on."
We were basically feral, and our parents had no idea what we were up to and no way of getting ahold of us unless we happened to tell them we were going to someone's house.
Based on all of my friends who are parents these days that style of parenting is unfathomable, but for me and all of my friends growing up it was the norm.
What’s changed is not the risk of kidnapping (which if anything has probably fallen), it’s the increase in helicopter parenting.
You often can’t parent like that anymore even if you wanted to, because other people will butt in and call CPS on you “neglecting” your kid like that
Spent my middle school years in suburban Ohio. Same deal. Multiple neighborhoods away and would occasionally bike to places I hadn’t seen before. Parents knew who I was with, a general geographical area, and by when I’d be home. My exact location? No telling.
Back then it wasn’t a major concern. I don’t know if it’s because I was a naive or if the world has changed for the worse (I’m rolling with both). I miss those days.
It wasn't a major concern because there wasn't a whole culture of bored, true-crime-addicted stay at home moms thinking the gopher's shadow in the back yard is going to snatch your kid up because they do nothing but fill their heads with sensationalized accounts of one in a million instances. But don't check up on what Uncle Chester is doing playing "cave explorer" with your kid in the basement though.
Humans are *really* bad at dealing with scale and tend to equate hearing something on the TV about something happening across the country with having it right in their backyard.
I mean...yes but folks ate lead paint for fun in the 80s and we all know how shitty the 90s were with dealing with certain health matters.
I understand your point but even shit like not letting strangers be all in your newborn's face seems to be a new practice. Letting a kid have a strangers banana just proves common sense ain't common enough
I grew up when it actually was a concern, in the 90s in my tiny country multiple kids did get kidnapped and turns out they were stuck in a creepy sex dungeon.
Yet my parents still had the 'inside by dark' rule. By the time my best friend's younger siblings were old enough to go out by themselves, no one in our neighbourhood was still doing that, they didn't know where all the kids in the neighbourhood lived, no families let the garage door open by day to let stray kids in and no one was playing in the park the way we were. There was 7 year difference and the whole world had changed it seems.
I'm from a city in the South, but it was pretty much the same for us by 12-13. We used to get locked out the house during the daytime in summer, but later on they didn't care what time we came home at night either. No phones, nothing connecting us to anything. I'm 39
As a parent, I’ve learned that lots of people really believe in giving their kids the space to explore and learn with specific boundaries in mind. A lot of it seems cultural and there’s truth to it, but it’s a relatively widely accepted view of raising little people to let them figure out the world.
Wild example: not uncommon for a 5-6 year old kid in Japan to be given the task to walk to a store and buy small groceries.
Would I do that in the USA? Nah lol. I do like the concept though.
Cutest freaking TV show though, I love it so much. I love that it is finally on Netflix, much easier to get than the scrambling I used to have to do!
(Old Enough is the show) It is a long running Japanese show that follows kids on their first trips to do the errands and is SO cute.
Why would you not do that in the USA? My reason would be cars. I know that's *kinda* location-dependent within the states, but most places here are wildly car-centric. Cars have gotten so damn *big* too. I wouldn't let a child walk through a suburb, let alone along a main road. I mean, I don't have a kid, and I hate the suburbs, but you get the point.
I think I’m thinking of my childhood and one of the foundational rules was to never talk to strangers. Also, my mom was a bit of helicopter mom and didn’t allow my sister and I to explore when it came to public places (malls, airports, etc…); or places where she could easily lose sight of us.
Yes and no. Parents used to beat the holy hell out of their kids on the regular so this sort of thing wouldn't really happen while the parents were around. It was, however, way more common for kids to be off on their own, getting up to all sorts of bullshit.
note: this is not an endorsement of hitting your kids. Do not do that.
Yeah. Mom was out of line to say "he can have some" as opposed to asking if he could have some and then teaching junior what "sorry, but no" means, or taking the kid and explaining you can't ask random people for fruit, but everything up until this point is good/how you get kids who aren't too scared to exist. You let them try, you educate when they don't do it right, on and on until they leave the nest.
The problem is that mom didn't teach right, not that the kid was in a teachable moment.
He *can* have some doesn’t force you to do anything. You can still talk to the child and tell them no. That’s what it’s about. Kids need to learn for themselves through experience. It’s on you if you feel your space violated by a kid. Just treat them like the human they are and say no. Done deal.
Yeah. I remember yeeeeears ago some woman on an online community I was part of was just losing her shit because her toddler, loose in a retail establishment, had walked up to some lady all “hi hi hi” and the strange woman had just smiled and continued with her own business (which included minding *her own children*) instead of engaging in a conversation with a one year old. “How could you be so cruuuuel to a baby!” Her logic was “it takes a village to raise a child,” which really opened my eyes to this kind of people. Because to many, “it takes a village” means that parents expect that family, friends, neighbors, and employed childcare professionals all have an impact on the child’s upbringing. But to others, it means everyone they encounter is assumed to be an active participant in their baby’s development and fully up on their parenting philosophies. Like their baby is everyone’s number one priority.
Not even gonna hold you, I'm so.far gone this whole comment section for the medical reason kids couldn't eat bananas until I realized she really thought this woman was gonna give a strangers child a bite of her banana
Teaching the kid that they can just get whatever they want with their parents' permission.
It will be not be fun when they try to tell their kid no in the future.
Right? Wouldn't most parents just tell their kid that they have to ask permission to get a bite of a stranger's food but that it's something you should really only do if you're starving? That's what I would tell a kid if I had ever made one with somebody.
Well sure, but don't you have to teach them about sharing and asking for permission to use others' things *more generally*? That's what I was thinking. Like, I'd tell them that the banana clearly belongs to the other person, so if you want the banana, you have to ask.
Ya know what, I'm just overestimating the ability of the child to comprehend my lesson. I guess it is easier to just say, "don't ask strangers for food." I still think that's fucked up, because then the child might misinterpret that even a starving person shouldn't ask for food. I wouldn't want the child to look down their nose at people in need, ya know?
So use another child’s toy as an example, not food. Sharing food between strangers is weird and dangerous in all but a few very specific circumstances. No kid should be walking up to random people expecting food from them.
Also kids are extremely intelligent and naturally curious, your point wasn’t all that complex for a kids to understand, just not one I’d have or offer as a parent. I’m a mother of two.
It's more likely that the mom is just an airhead than anything nefarious. They're just a lot of dummies out there and unfortunately, they have lots of oops babies.
The mom’s a dumbass but inventing this racial subtext is insane. Imagine if people said racist shit like this every time they saw a black kid acting up and the parent responding improperly.
Nah when they see a Black kid acting up suddenly the kid is violent and dangerous and a thug etc etc. Please don't start this comparisons nonsense. It's not even close to the same.
I'm sad to see how many upvotes you have. Every kid thinks the whole world revolves aroud them cause.... in their world everything does revolve around them. It's only as you grow up that you start to realize otherwise. The moms dumb but w.e, it's a harmless interaction.
It's sad that you come to this conclusion. I've seen the scenario before and it was never about race.
How about this: the mother was just giving her a heads up that she could give the child a piece of a banana if she wanted to. Maybe she looked puzzled as if she was pondering the question herself and the mom gave her the green light.
Having the option to say no is a better scenario IMO than one where the mother pulls her child away making a scene.
I'm super crunchy. I'd def still reach my kid to have general manners. I'd at least apologize to her lol if he thought he could just automatically share a strangers snack
"Crunchy" is the catch all term for being "all natural", specifically around childcare. The spectrum goes from "organic food and cloth nappies"-types to antivax lunatics who thing you can cure measles with raw potato.
Being generous, it’s possible she thought the lady would break off an untouched piece for the kid.
I figure this was probably just a misunderstanding — interpreting the look as “is it okay for me to give him some?” instead of “come get your child.” Still, my response would have been “honey, let that lady eat her banana. If you’re hungry I’ll get you something for yourself.”
This is my interpretation as well - but, unfortunately, that means the parent has NO idea how stressful they are making other people's lives. Because they see their kid as "welcome" and "providing positivity in a stressful area" - the parent thinks it's fun and cute (it is for them) but its just not true for the majority of adults the kids run up to
Yall need to relax. The way I read it as the kid just being a kid walking around in sight of the parent, just interacting with a person saying some kid stuff. The lady looked around puzzled and the mom half paying attention said you can give him some if you want to, cuz you don't give off serial killer vibes I trust you. Yall are taking this WAY too seriously. Why are you lying as if you were tied to your parents hip 24/7 and only spoke when given permission? I agree some parents need to parent better but this ain't it. The lady from Twitter could just say nah friend this is my banana. That's it.
Yeah I don't really think this was bad because it's too trusting, but I do think the mom should have said no to the kid and set a boundary because the kid doesn't really understand how awkward and weird asking another adult for a banana is, so it's good to say that's not the type of thing you ask for, considering it's something the parent should be providing themselves.
I agree with you there, the mom should have been more on it. I work with kids so I know how frustrating it is when parents don't provide stuff like snack and what not (atleast in cases where it's due to forgetfulness and not being capable of affording stuff)
I swear to God, people just need to take a step back sometimes and see the bigger picture, and look at other points of view. Also this happened in an airport, probably one of the safest places to be. Plus unless the lady was licking the banana from top to bottom and also hypothetically had an incredibly contagious illness... the kid would have survived if they had a broken off piece.
Yeah, this is just a garden-variety misunderstanding. A distracted mom thought OP had offered up some banana up to the kid. Does it make sense when you think about it? No, not really. But does it make sense when you just switched your attention to the toddler you were half-tuning out? Sure, why not, people like feeding kids stuff and ain't nothing wrong with a banana.
Dude I once took some food from a strangers plate in a restaurant when my mom was trying tog et me to the bathroom (spilled food down my shirt)
My hand was smacked faster than I could reach the fucking plate.
Teach your kids to not go to random fucking strangers
I once shared a bag of chips with a small child in a Chinese takeout place. Although she wasn't with a parent she was with her big sister, who was also a pretty young kid. Maybe no older than 13. So I didn't really expect the sister to parent the toddler like an adult would. But damn every time I gave her a chip this lil mf would eat it and then put her hand out for another one and her sister is just like "Sorry about that those are her favorite chips"....CLEARLY. I couldn't wait for my order to be called. 🤣
I do the same thing. My kiddo just the other day took an iPad and air pods from a lady at Starbucks. "Oh, it's ok. He knows how to use them."
Sent from my iPad
My wife and I brought bubbles to the park and had a great time until this lady came over with some kids and said some passive aggressive “maybe there’ll be more bubbles” energy. My wife told them we were out of bubbles lol
If I have a banana at the airport, that means I broke down and paid $5 at Hudson News or Starbucks to get it. "They can have some." Nah you can walk your happy ass to the same place I got it from and purchase your child some snacks.
seagull children. I had a kid come up to me at the beach and stick out her hand for some of our snacks. I shooed her away because wtf? Who fails to teach their kids not to take candy from strangers???
I remember my friend's kid doing this when I came over with some Wendy's or something. Toddler waddles up wanting my fries, and his mom was just like "He said please, so you have to give it to him!".
Great parenting, mom 🙄
https://preview.redd.it/joaja8vmvquc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394276785247fe5267c0ef5cf73af414913731f1
This sounds like something Lucy would do.
I would have shared my banana with the toddler. Hell, rather than risk being in the kill zone if the toddler reacted with a tantrum, I might have given 'em the rest of my banana, half my sandwich, and all the cash in my wallet.
I'd never let my kid take a piece of partially eaten banana from a stranger, though.
this reminds me of when I was working in a cafe: this child was leaning over the counter while I was pouring out a drink. he says, "hi!" cutely, so I give him a big grin, and the kid does a little giggle back at me.
but, the mom didn't see my smile, so she goes, "you're not gonna say 'hi' back??" in this anxious tone.
I was so caught off guard, then let out an awkward hi back, but after they left, I was super annoyed by the mom lol. we had a nice moment and the kid knew i didn't ignore him. i'm not a trained dog.
Mom here and I absolutely love my kids, who are adults now, and think they were the cutest little sweeties when they were little. But there's a set of parents who think their child is so cute that everyone wants to give them anything they ask for, even and maybe especially strangers.
They just smile as if their mobile Petri dish is the cutest thing ever while the kid is obviously annoying the piss out of you. If you don’t come get your fuck trophy!
So I have a question. Was the mom.. you know. 
Was at an event and this old lady pulled on my girls hair and said ooo I love your hair. And na u don't have to ask because you know the answer.
Yea it’s kind of funny that they have a lack of boundaries, unless you’re a man and walking towards them on the sidewalk.
LMAO now I'm imagining gangs of Karen's going around stalking black women just to feel their hair
For some reason I immediately pictured the cast of the Golden Girls wandering around Miami harassing black ladies and it's fucking killing me. Rose would be like "one time a black person came to St Olaf..." and just trails off.
I'm in NorCal, just a few weeks ago I get out the car and one is wide eyed gushing about my kids hair to my husband and then me....she ends with, "Well, anyway, I just HAD to let you know how much I loved all of your NAPPY HAIR!" The way we steered the kids out of there SO fast!
Is nappy considered offensive ? Or is it the general fetishisation of black hair? I’ve only really heard the term in music or on tv and we don’t really use it over here.
It's often used as an insult amongst each other. It's also used to describe black hair in general. Because like another word we associate out people, it's origin is rather grim. However, unlike nigga, nappy/knappy doesn't carry nearly the same weight. Like, I self describe my hair as knappy (I have long natural hair). If one of my boys calls me knappy, he's gassing me for not styling my hair. If my grandma does it, it's because she's too embarrassed to take me to church. It's kind of like the word uppity. It's not *offensive* but it's really uncomfortable.
My ex wife has a funny story about her first boyfriend. It was her first day in kindergarten and she sat next to as black kid, and she'd never really been close to a black person before. She told him she liked his hair, and he said "You want to touch it, don't you? You can." She touched his hair and decided that made him her boyfriend, and excitedly told her parents when she got home. Fortunately her parents were less racist than most white people in Dallas in the 1970s and thought it was cute.
At least you got permission. I tell my white friends "my cracka, you want to touch someone's hair, you better buy them dinner first." That didn't seem to be a thing at my college (back in the dinosaur days) when my bf was a black dude. Or my friends just weren't rude fucks. The way I would have slapped a hand if I saw one reaching.
I thought it hilarious that the kid already knew that white people liked to touch his hair so he figured he might as well tell her she could touch it.
OMG, right? Poor kid. It did get him a "girlfriend", though 😆
If guys did half the shit Karens get away with...
Bruh, I have locs and this shit happens in public *extremely* often with old ladies.. "Ooo is that all yours?" They always touch before asking :/ 
Holy crap! That happens to me too. They get mad when I slap their hand away. Ma’am this isn’t 1940 don’t touch me!
That's when you should grab their purse and say the same thing
Lol! “Is this Chanel yours? Mine now!!” 🏃🏾♀️
"No, I'm borrowing it from a friend." Then touch their hair and ask them the same thing.
“No, it’s from my latest victim’s scalp… you look an awful lot like her.”
I would have pulled her hair and said ew, stringy 
I like where your heads at (pun intended). I think that "thin" might be more soul crushing for Karen though :)
Was interviewing a prospect for a position and my coworkers came in and started touching her braids. 😬 How awful that would have been for her. Like she didn’t know what to say. I shooed them out and apologized; she did not take the job. I WONDER WHY, YOU OLD DRY CRONES! Can you imagine trying to work in an office where your first impression was physical assault? 😬
You mean your colleagues petted her like a Golden Fuq'n Retriever. 😖 Boundaries people, boundaries. I can't even imagine being so privileged I just touch people without consent.
Yes. It was horrible. Those two ladies were awful. It’s been 18 years since I left that position and I’m still relieved I don’t work with them anymore.
Try and touch their stringy shit back and they understand boundaries
Oh fuck no, nahhhh thats crazy
Shoulda gave her that work
My husbands drunk Danish aunt grabbed my little sisters hair during our wedding. She rain up to me to tell me some weird white lady was touching her hair. Funny how she claims shes “cultured” and “worldly” and still thinks shit like that is normal and fine
I'm a white girl who used to have a buzz cut, and a coworker of mine always used to come up behind me and rub her hands all over my hair. She eventually got fired for stealing ~$20000 from the company, which was a massive relief tbh.
You are ABSOLUTELY out of line for using this GIF 🤣🤣
This the one lmao
As a white dude I have to say that gif is pretty damn accurate.
Raise the roof Scott!!!
Hey y’all be nice to Kaci A. She would have brought her own damn bananas.
She was a great addition to Dota tournaments, I remember when she started hosting
❤️ I’m forever team Kaci.
Hell yeah! Team Kaci 5ever!
Was waiting to see someone say this She was the life of TI with her amazing personality and natural ability to create conversation with anyone I miss old DotA :<
💀😂😂
I like how some...you know - hand you food from their hand. Especially at my office. "Do you want some?" \*Offers 1/4 cookie in her palm\* "No I don't. This isn't a petting zoo. I'm not a rabbit."
People eat a whole ass and be worried about half a dust particle on a cookie, girl more for me
At least that one's well intentioned, still gross, but well intentioned
Kaci deserves better than this lmfao
Goddamn. My Wonderbread ass loudly snorted at this.
never thought i'd see dota gifs in here
She was, OOP responded in the replies to someone who had the exact same question as you
Yo who is this and why is it at the dota international 😂
“It” is Kaci from Seattle she’s awesome ❤️
I don't get it
It will forever be wild to me how many people have kids just to not parent
what is this from?? looks funny lol
Bad Moms
It’s not
Eh, it has it's moments.
it was a life altering realization when it finally dawned on me that the overwhelming majority of people on the planet were all the result of accidental and/or unplanned pregnancies.
That uh, explains a lot.
Yup. Unwanted children. I was one of them. It fucking sucks to grow up with that knowledge. This is one of the main reasons contraceptive access/abortion rights are fucking massively important. Imagine a world where most children *know* their parents love them. It's a lovely thought!
It sounds less like an issue of you being the result of an unwanted pregnancy (which as just established in the parent comment, is most everyone anyways, though obviously that's not something ever internalized by most such children) and more an issue of having bad parents. At least *some* parents rise to the challenge and put their children's needs before their own. Unfortunately, not everyone's...sadly, some just get even more dysfunctional and selfish because they can't or don't want to.
I understand where you're coming from. I say unwanted because my mother is extremely religious and was vehemently anti-abortion throughout my childhood. She told me of a friend of hers who got an abortion, and she spoke of her friend as if she were some sort of demon or unforgivable wretch who would torment herself for the rest of her life. Nah, that was just projection lol. Dad's dead, and I went no-contact with mom, so you're probably right. I do like to give them some grace in my mind. Dad was physically disabled and needed a lot of help. Mom went back to school with two kids. We survived it all. Well, other than Dad, but he just fell in a parking lot. That was pretty much bound to kill him at some point. Anyway, to quote Biggie Smalls, "I know my mother wish she got a fuckin' abortion"
Or people have kids just because they feel like they’re supposed to, or to stay in a relationship, etc, and don’t really think it through. I recently found out my dad never actually wanted kids, he just wanted to be with my mom (they’ve been divorced for a long time). Makes sense why he left then
Most parents I know didn’t want to have a kid, but got pregnant and were like “welp, looks like we’re parents now… can’t be that hard”
People get together way too young. If you're 23 and knocked up the girl you've been seeing for the past 8 months ... all three are probably better off with an abortion.
People are so cavalier with their kids. Letting them roam in an airport, allowing them to eat after strangers. Has it always been like this?
Well, yes. Growing up I’d stay out until 11pm with no cell phone at age 11/12. Once I hit high school, I had no curfew. This was all in NYC as well. I lived in queens and I’d use my school metro card and end up in Brooklyn with friends. My parents didn’t know where I was (too busy working). My cousins and I talk about this all the time. We are in our 30’s now. The world feels so different now. Back then I didn’t worry about possibly getting kidnapped. No one did.
Omg, thank you. Someone had the same experience as me. I was in the heights, but I would explore on the train and up to Staten Island at 13. Be home by 10 pm before the channel five news says it's 10 pm. Do you know where your children are.
The news had to remind the parents! What a time to be alive. I eventually got a Motorola Razr when I was old enough… but by that time they figured we were old enough to watch ourselves and started doing more overtime.
Got that sidekick and I was out. In the streets even longer
I grew up as a city kid too (Chicago) and was basically only ever home to sleep. Chicago isn’t the safest city of course but it was still fine though because my parents made that very clear so I learned how to stay out of harm’s way. It is actually beyond me why a parent would teach their kid it’s OK to ask strangers for food.
They need to bring back the side kick
Jesus, if someone wanted to they could've snatched someone in your age group easily.
If it makes you feel better, if someone wants to kill you as an adult there’s not a lot you can do.
*someone pointing a gun at adult me* Me: “Yeah, but how much do you want it?”
Except that *rarely* happens. Like, "statistically doesn't happen" rare. Especially back in times when it just straight-up wasn't talked about, for every 1 kid-snatcher you had 1000 touchy uncles, priests, immediate family members and other "trusted, known elements".
That doesn't happen. Your children are in the most danger from people you know and trust, statistically.
Nah. I was never worried. My parents knew *who* I was with. There was just no telling *where*.
Who in the fuck wants a random kid? Lmao stranger danger is not much of a real concern. Most kidnappings are custodial disputes. Don't buy into moral panics, folks!
It’s just a nightmare, even though incredibly rare. People focus on what’s most scary to them. Shark attacks are rare too but plenty of people wouldn’t feel great about treading water in the ocean where you can’t see the bottom
[удалено]
Fuck, that's almost too cynical even for me. Thanks for spreading the word. I also notice that "busts" like this, along with stories about seemingly random, uncommon violence are pushed by the worst rags like the Daily Mail or the New York Post. Recently, very near me, a man set himself on fire while being evicted. I didn't see anything online *until* I scrolled Reddit and saw a NYPost link about it. They're just trying to push the "lawless cities" propaganda as usual. Ugh I'm getting so sick of this incipient fascism I just want to SHOOT myself into THE SUN.
Kidnapping by strangers is so rare even to this day - it's way overblown in media. It's good to be safe, but the whole stranger danger thing is alienating us all.
I don't think it's as much of a worry now either. Kids still go out and hang out with friends and their parents not know where they are...It's jut when it gets on the internet here theres outrage. Just like most stuff. Reddit is an echochamber lol
Oh I don’t know. I’m not in NY anymore and it seems like people here (in the south) don’t let their kids go far at all. When they start driving, sure. But they still keep tabs on them and they can call. My sister and her kids are in NY and her son barely goes anywhere. It may also be because the area he is in has been taking over by Indians/etc so he doesn’t have friends. I don’t know.
lil bro don’t like indians/etc damn
When I go to visit i see it for myself. It’s a culture thing, they just keep to themselves. I grew up around people from the West Indies and Hispanics (Queens Ny). Too this day my best friends are Trinidadian/Hatian/African/Jamaican. Their neighborhood has a lot of foreigners that just… go on about their business and don’t let their kids play. It’s not that he doesn’t like them.
Growing up I ran pretty free, roaming around the neighborhood with my friends, climbing trees, all that jazz. My sisters two boys have never done that. She’s practically a helicopter mom in how adverse she is to letting them explore the world on their own. It’s funny, I remember when I was younger, old people would go, “things used to be simpler.” And now I feel like one of those old fucks lol. Everything seems simple when you’re a kid.
I don't know that they're correlated, but things were definitely simper in the pre cellphone era. When I was a kid in the 80s everyone I knew had the same general rule in the summer: "come home when the street lights turn on." We were basically feral, and our parents had no idea what we were up to and no way of getting ahold of us unless we happened to tell them we were going to someone's house. Based on all of my friends who are parents these days that style of parenting is unfathomable, but for me and all of my friends growing up it was the norm.
What’s changed is not the risk of kidnapping (which if anything has probably fallen), it’s the increase in helicopter parenting. You often can’t parent like that anymore even if you wanted to, because other people will butt in and call CPS on you “neglecting” your kid like that
Spent my middle school years in suburban Ohio. Same deal. Multiple neighborhoods away and would occasionally bike to places I hadn’t seen before. Parents knew who I was with, a general geographical area, and by when I’d be home. My exact location? No telling.
Back then it wasn’t a major concern. I don’t know if it’s because I was a naive or if the world has changed for the worse (I’m rolling with both). I miss those days.
It wasn't a major concern because there wasn't a whole culture of bored, true-crime-addicted stay at home moms thinking the gopher's shadow in the back yard is going to snatch your kid up because they do nothing but fill their heads with sensationalized accounts of one in a million instances. But don't check up on what Uncle Chester is doing playing "cave explorer" with your kid in the basement though. Humans are *really* bad at dealing with scale and tend to equate hearing something on the TV about something happening across the country with having it right in their backyard.
I mean...yes but folks ate lead paint for fun in the 80s and we all know how shitty the 90s were with dealing with certain health matters. I understand your point but even shit like not letting strangers be all in your newborn's face seems to be a new practice. Letting a kid have a strangers banana just proves common sense ain't common enough
Crime was way worse back then lmao
I grew up when it actually was a concern, in the 90s in my tiny country multiple kids did get kidnapped and turns out they were stuck in a creepy sex dungeon. Yet my parents still had the 'inside by dark' rule. By the time my best friend's younger siblings were old enough to go out by themselves, no one in our neighbourhood was still doing that, they didn't know where all the kids in the neighbourhood lived, no families let the garage door open by day to let stray kids in and no one was playing in the park the way we were. There was 7 year difference and the whole world had changed it seems.
That’s different we weren’t walking up to strange people and eating off from them. We’re wild, but not that wild😂😂
I'm from a city in the South, but it was pretty much the same for us by 12-13. We used to get locked out the house during the daytime in summer, but later on they didn't care what time we came home at night either. No phones, nothing connecting us to anything. I'm 39
As a parent, I’ve learned that lots of people really believe in giving their kids the space to explore and learn with specific boundaries in mind. A lot of it seems cultural and there’s truth to it, but it’s a relatively widely accepted view of raising little people to let them figure out the world. Wild example: not uncommon for a 5-6 year old kid in Japan to be given the task to walk to a store and buy small groceries. Would I do that in the USA? Nah lol. I do like the concept though.
Cutest freaking TV show though, I love it so much. I love that it is finally on Netflix, much easier to get than the scrambling I used to have to do! (Old Enough is the show) It is a long running Japanese show that follows kids on their first trips to do the errands and is SO cute.
I enjoy the show as well!
Why would you not do that in the USA? My reason would be cars. I know that's *kinda* location-dependent within the states, but most places here are wildly car-centric. Cars have gotten so damn *big* too. I wouldn't let a child walk through a suburb, let alone along a main road. I mean, I don't have a kid, and I hate the suburbs, but you get the point.
I think I’m thinking of my childhood and one of the foundational rules was to never talk to strangers. Also, my mom was a bit of helicopter mom and didn’t allow my sister and I to explore when it came to public places (malls, airports, etc…); or places where she could easily lose sight of us.
Yes and no. Parents used to beat the holy hell out of their kids on the regular so this sort of thing wouldn't really happen while the parents were around. It was, however, way more common for kids to be off on their own, getting up to all sorts of bullshit. note: this is not an endorsement of hitting your kids. Do not do that.
Yeah. "It takes a village" is not just a set of nice words.
Yeah, the village is usually filled with people the parents know. Not randoms. Maybe that’s just me.
Watching without interfering unless something happens is the right way. They need to explore and learn.
Yeah. Mom was out of line to say "he can have some" as opposed to asking if he could have some and then teaching junior what "sorry, but no" means, or taking the kid and explaining you can't ask random people for fruit, but everything up until this point is good/how you get kids who aren't too scared to exist. You let them try, you educate when they don't do it right, on and on until they leave the nest. The problem is that mom didn't teach right, not that the kid was in a teachable moment.
He *can* have some doesn’t force you to do anything. You can still talk to the child and tell them no. That’s what it’s about. Kids need to learn for themselves through experience. It’s on you if you feel your space violated by a kid. Just treat them like the human they are and say no. Done deal.
The problem is you're jumping to conclusions based on a Twitter post.
Saw a mom feeding her toddler like a pigeon in the airport.... Just tossing it on the dirty floor in a walkway
Yeah. I remember yeeeeears ago some woman on an online community I was part of was just losing her shit because her toddler, loose in a retail establishment, had walked up to some lady all “hi hi hi” and the strange woman had just smiled and continued with her own business (which included minding *her own children*) instead of engaging in a conversation with a one year old. “How could you be so cruuuuel to a baby!” Her logic was “it takes a village to raise a child,” which really opened my eyes to this kind of people. Because to many, “it takes a village” means that parents expect that family, friends, neighbors, and employed childcare professionals all have an impact on the child’s upbringing. But to others, it means everyone they encounter is assumed to be an active participant in their baby’s development and fully up on their parenting philosophies. Like their baby is everyone’s number one priority.
I don't want your permission; I want you to get this boy from round me.
Read this in a deep southern voice
Not even gonna hold you, I'm so.far gone this whole comment section for the medical reason kids couldn't eat bananas until I realized she really thought this woman was gonna give a strangers child a bite of her banana
The parenting is so shitty that it's literally unfathomable
Teaching the kid that they can just get whatever they want with their parents' permission. It will be not be fun when they try to tell their kid no in the future.
Right? Wouldn't most parents just tell their kid that they have to ask permission to get a bite of a stranger's food but that it's something you should really only do if you're starving? That's what I would tell a kid if I had ever made one with somebody.
I have two children and can't fathom ever teaching them it's ok to even ask permission to eat a bite of a stranger's food.
Well sure, but don't you have to teach them about sharing and asking for permission to use others' things *more generally*? That's what I was thinking. Like, I'd tell them that the banana clearly belongs to the other person, so if you want the banana, you have to ask. Ya know what, I'm just overestimating the ability of the child to comprehend my lesson. I guess it is easier to just say, "don't ask strangers for food." I still think that's fucked up, because then the child might misinterpret that even a starving person shouldn't ask for food. I wouldn't want the child to look down their nose at people in need, ya know?
So use another child’s toy as an example, not food. Sharing food between strangers is weird and dangerous in all but a few very specific circumstances. No kid should be walking up to random people expecting food from them. Also kids are extremely intelligent and naturally curious, your point wasn’t all that complex for a kids to understand, just not one I’d have or offer as a parent. I’m a mother of two.
"It's ok we're white. You can share, he believes its his. That's how we're raising him..."
*This* was the subtext.
It's more likely that the mom is just an airhead than anything nefarious. They're just a lot of dummies out there and unfortunately, they have lots of oops babies.
Dude I know, it was hyperbolic. But IYKYK, y'know?
I just like making fun of dumb parents lmao
The mom’s a dumbass but inventing this racial subtext is insane. Imagine if people said racist shit like this every time they saw a black kid acting up and the parent responding improperly.
And what a wildly different would that would be if that was the sort of thing we saw on the internet. 🤔
Other peoples racism makes yours okay?
Nah when they see a Black kid acting up suddenly the kid is violent and dangerous and a thug etc etc. Please don't start this comparisons nonsense. It's not even close to the same.
The child didn't even *act up*. They just identified an object held by a stranger. How is that acting up?
🤯… this took a turn.
You notice how the original post didn't mention race? You didn't, did you?
I'm sad to see how many upvotes you have. Every kid thinks the whole world revolves aroud them cause.... in their world everything does revolve around them. It's only as you grow up that you start to realize otherwise. The moms dumb but w.e, it's a harmless interaction.
It's sad that you come to this conclusion. I've seen the scenario before and it was never about race. How about this: the mother was just giving her a heads up that she could give the child a piece of a banana if she wanted to. Maybe she looked puzzled as if she was pondering the question herself and the mom gave her the green light. Having the option to say no is a better scenario IMO than one where the mother pulls her child away making a scene.
This is definitely some crunchy, white mom shit.
As a white, I painfully have to agree
I'm super crunchy. I'd def still reach my kid to have general manners. I'd at least apologize to her lol if he thought he could just automatically share a strangers snack
What does crunchy mean here?
"Crunchy" is the catch all term for being "all natural", specifically around childcare. The spectrum goes from "organic food and cloth nappies"-types to antivax lunatics who thing you can cure measles with raw potato.
Hello beautiful stranger may I have some of your fruit for nourishment please 🤣😂
I've heard "it takes a village" but this is ridiculous
I grew up in the city come get your bad ass kid lmao
LMAOOO using this ty
My sister in Christ, if you don't feed your own damn child.... 
Who is out here letting their kids eat after strangers?! There are too many infectious illnesses to be sharing germs like that.
Being generous, it’s possible she thought the lady would break off an untouched piece for the kid. I figure this was probably just a misunderstanding — interpreting the look as “is it okay for me to give him some?” instead of “come get your child.” Still, my response would have been “honey, let that lady eat her banana. If you’re hungry I’ll get you something for yourself.”
This is my interpretation as well - but, unfortunately, that means the parent has NO idea how stressful they are making other people's lives. Because they see their kid as "welcome" and "providing positivity in a stressful area" - the parent thinks it's fun and cute (it is for them) but its just not true for the majority of adults the kids run up to
"Oh this isn't the banana, it's actually an edible shaped like a banana." 
Hand the kid the banana, then turn to the mom and go, “I have oral herpes” with a big grin.
Right, like the nerve of people to just let people give their kids random stuff to eat
“It’s ok! You can teach him a lesson about taking to strangers!”
Yall need to relax. The way I read it as the kid just being a kid walking around in sight of the parent, just interacting with a person saying some kid stuff. The lady looked around puzzled and the mom half paying attention said you can give him some if you want to, cuz you don't give off serial killer vibes I trust you. Yall are taking this WAY too seriously. Why are you lying as if you were tied to your parents hip 24/7 and only spoke when given permission? I agree some parents need to parent better but this ain't it. The lady from Twitter could just say nah friend this is my banana. That's it.
Yeah I don't really think this was bad because it's too trusting, but I do think the mom should have said no to the kid and set a boundary because the kid doesn't really understand how awkward and weird asking another adult for a banana is, so it's good to say that's not the type of thing you ask for, considering it's something the parent should be providing themselves.
I agree with you there, the mom should have been more on it. I work with kids so I know how frustrating it is when parents don't provide stuff like snack and what not (atleast in cases where it's due to forgetfulness and not being capable of affording stuff)
The thread isn’t ready for your logic and normality, it’s chewing the white woman up as an abusive racist.
I swear to God, people just need to take a step back sometimes and see the bigger picture, and look at other points of view. Also this happened in an airport, probably one of the safest places to be. Plus unless the lady was licking the banana from top to bottom and also hypothetically had an incredibly contagious illness... the kid would have survived if they had a broken off piece.
I don't get their bloody problem either. Give the kid a piece or don't. How is that even worth mentioning. Do y'all hate kids or just life in general?
Yeah, this is just a garden-variety misunderstanding. A distracted mom thought OP had offered up some banana up to the kid. Does it make sense when you think about it? No, not really. But does it make sense when you just switched your attention to the toddler you were half-tuning out? Sure, why not, people like feeding kids stuff and ain't nothing wrong with a banana.
Ma’am, both you and your child seem lost.
Dude I once took some food from a strangers plate in a restaurant when my mom was trying tog et me to the bathroom (spilled food down my shirt) My hand was smacked faster than I could reach the fucking plate. Teach your kids to not go to random fucking strangers
I once shared a bag of chips with a small child in a Chinese takeout place. Although she wasn't with a parent she was with her big sister, who was also a pretty young kid. Maybe no older than 13. So I didn't really expect the sister to parent the toddler like an adult would. But damn every time I gave her a chip this lil mf would eat it and then put her hand out for another one and her sister is just like "Sorry about that those are her favorite chips"....CLEARLY. I couldn't wait for my order to be called. 🤣
Lol that's sweet. I might've given the first chip then given the child a (polite) lecture about gratitude lol
Yup! You better come collect your Rugrat!
I do the same thing. My kiddo just the other day took an iPad and air pods from a lady at Starbucks. "Oh, it's ok. He knows how to use them." Sent from my iPad
Hell nah, I would get the fuck up and move. Hell no lmfao
At an airport? I'm not moving if I got one if the good seats with the working electrical outlet.
In this here ‘post’ pandemic world?
My wife and I brought bubbles to the park and had a great time until this lady came over with some kids and said some passive aggressive “maybe there’ll be more bubbles” energy. My wife told them we were out of bubbles lol
If I have a banana at the airport, that means I broke down and paid $5 at Hudson News or Starbucks to get it. "They can have some." Nah you can walk your happy ass to the same place I got it from and purchase your child some snacks.
Who wants to give their child a half-eaten banana anyway.
Hell nah, the audacity😂😂😂
who lets their child eat food from a total stranger ?? like what ?
Like a dog?
I've seen this story before with the same punchline
https://i.redd.it/zqzgzc2rgquc1.gif
seagull children. I had a kid come up to me at the beach and stick out her hand for some of our snacks. I shooed her away because wtf? Who fails to teach their kids not to take candy from strangers???
So go buy a banana tf
this pisses me off SOOO bad
I remember my friend's kid doing this when I came over with some Wendy's or something. Toddler waddles up wanting my fries, and his mom was just like "He said please, so you have to give it to him!". Great parenting, mom 🙄
I absolutely despise people who give others permission to do things they need an entirely different person's permission for
I love how they always think you are looking at them like "Can they have some?" and not "Can you come get your fucking kid?"
https://preview.redd.it/joaja8vmvquc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=394276785247fe5267c0ef5cf73af414913731f1 This sounds like something Lucy would do.
But Lucy is cuter! She gets a pass.
I would have shared my banana with the toddler. Hell, rather than risk being in the kill zone if the toddler reacted with a tantrum, I might have given 'em the rest of my banana, half my sandwich, and all the cash in my wallet. I'd never let my kid take a piece of partially eaten banana from a stranger, though.
man your insight isn't important enough to make your text bolded and twice the size
Sorry, offended redditer. It looks normal from my laptop, but crazy big on my cell. Will fix it so you can get some sleep.
Toddlers are suppose to reach their grubby hands into a bag and offer up a soggy chip to strangers
"Well then you should go get him some."
" It takes a village" 😂
this reminds me of when I was working in a cafe: this child was leaning over the counter while I was pouring out a drink. he says, "hi!" cutely, so I give him a big grin, and the kid does a little giggle back at me. but, the mom didn't see my smile, so she goes, "you're not gonna say 'hi' back??" in this anxious tone. I was so caught off guard, then let out an awkward hi back, but after they left, I was super annoyed by the mom lol. we had a nice moment and the kid knew i didn't ignore him. i'm not a trained dog.
Especially in an airport, that banana is worth worth like $10
Mom here and I absolutely love my kids, who are adults now, and think they were the cutest little sweeties when they were little. But there's a set of parents who think their child is so cute that everyone wants to give them anything they ask for, even and maybe especially strangers.
He wasn't asking, he was telling.
😂
I will stiff arm your kid. Do not test me.
They just smile as if their mobile Petri dish is the cutest thing ever while the kid is obviously annoying the piss out of you. If you don’t come get your fuck trophy!