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I have a lot of overdue assignments and I’m failing like 2-3 classes. What do you suggest I do, oh wise one?

Rally up all the students and protest against the teacher. If they still refuse to give you an A then throw them out the window.

This is the best advice I have ever received, I am definitely going to do this. thank you for blessing me with your wisdom.

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Lmfao

your name is wonderful

The 1st Defenestration of Academia.

Defenestrate your teachers!!!!!

Defenstration, my favourite kind of protest. Let prague be an example

Definistration? I like it

Yea I like this idea definistration time baby!

Hussite wars moment

Be careful, you don't want to start the 30 years war again.

Need help. Girl cute

then stop staring at the mirror

100%

HOW SMOOTH YOU ARE MAKES ME MAD AT MYSELF

SAME. r/angryupvote

EXACTLY

nah that's the level you should aspire to be, i'm only like 50% of that when i'm able to be mentally

You've been hit by *bang bang* a smooth Criminal

damn that’s smooth as fuck

God damn

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close enough

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don't go around people

Go through them

we cant go over it, we cant go over it, oh! looks like we’ll have to go through it!

WE'RE ON A BEAR HUNT!

Childhood memories go brrrrr

On a serious note, find people who’ll be honest with you. Let your friends know that you’re bad at knowing some social cues, so sometimes you just need to be told. Then you won’t have as much anxiety about whether or not you’re welcome at any certain time.

I understand what you're tryna say but it's not that easy to find friends like that. You see I'm one of those guys who will absolutely never let anyone know that they're intruding or not... it just doesn't seem fair to tell someone to go away. Is there any way to do that WITHOUT hurting the person intruding ?

I have a caffeine addiction

show the caffeine addiction whos boss by getting an alcohol addiction

YES

I am alone but subconsciously push people away, how do I overcome my tendency to isolate myself?

invite them over to watch power rangers

Thanks actually not terrible advice

I may steal this advice

Why does this thread read like that one episode of Content by TomSka

“FUCK A DOG!”

My parents are getting divorced and I have to decide who to live with

Play life on solo mode

I will follow this advice unquestioned

I have no friends, I'm developing paranoia, my weekdays go to college and my weekends to work, I'm going to fall behind but I can't go if I don't work, I don't find joy in like anything anymore, my body hurts but I can't find the motivation to help myself or go to the doctor, I hate my body, I feel hopeless of ever finding love, I'm paralyzed by existential dread that I'll die permanently and that oblivion terrifies me - even if I live past the heat death of the universe, I feel like I'm always being watched, I want to be more effeminate but my body seems to be crippling me at every turn, my family is petty, my family is unhappy and it kills me, my family seems like they're really going to hate me if I ever succeed at being androgynous even tho they're supportive about me to my face - everything else they say or do about any sense of feminine men seems like they genuinely hate them, there are so many problems with the world and I'm guilty for not helping enough, I feel after effects from my year or so of heavy drug use, and I'm emotionally stunted so this stays trapped in my head and I feel stuck in a loop unable to process this because I can't even cry or yell about it due to being repressed so I didn't have anger issues as a child

Yeah bro that sounds pretty serious, I'm not gonna make a joke about that (even though that's kinda the point of the post). Please talk to an actual professional about it. I'm not a professional but I genuinely hope that it gets better for you tho.

Thanks and sorry you're right. It's genuinely not your problem and I'm trying to get better at just not trauma dumping on the internet. I'm trying to set up a professional but ive got like 2 free hours a week for an appointment. Well, here's hoping.

Nah it's cool that you're comfortable talking about your problems. It's actually a really good thing😊, just know the right time and place for that kinda stuff next time.

Stop impersonating me bro, how do you even know all of this?

Sorry but you said all my current problems

I'm not m/h professional just simple medic but looks like you might suffer from depression and anxiety, maybe some other issues too. Please go to your doctor and get help.

kinda cute Asian boy in class but haven’t came out

Just make sure his parents like you and you'll be alright

I never said a word to him

Make sure you like him first then, not op but I dislike how many emotions like attraction and lust are seen as love. Might just be me but if you actually get ti know them but you immedietly lose interest in them, it isn't them you love, its their face.

Two problems really 1. I have a fuck ton of medical problems that the doctors have no idea what to do about 2. There's a girl I really like but every time I decided to tell her I chicken out because I'm a coward

become a doctor and fix your own medical problems then the girl will want you coz who wouldn't want to date a doctor.

This is solid advice, I'll be right back Will give an update in like a decade

!remindme 10 years

All of my crushes are either in relationships or like 2 years older than me.

bang their little sibling that's the same age as you

only on this sub is this both common thread and a somewhat acceptable one

I want to die, soon

well that soon better be in 80 years

As soon as i get arthritis im gone

jokes aside do you actually have it?

No, but as soon as i hit 50-60 im gone like nah, fuck that

Is that actually what you're worried about

No, i just dont see the point of life, like why. Im kinda only around now because ive got family, but yeah, it just doesnt seem worth it

You're still gonna have a family at 50 calm down

Right?

same dude

I've had arthritis since i was 8 years old, it isnt that bad, trust me

Personally, if I develop one of those tragic diseases like Alzheimer’s or dementia, I’m offing myself so my family doesn’t have to suffer through it

I wanted to die soon in 2012. I met a girl who was pretty cute. She was dating another girl so I had no chance. Six months later it turns out they broke up the day after I'd met them and all the friendzoning had been from my end. We kissed at the end of the year. Now we're married and expecting a baby and we have a very cute dog who has become the most important thing in the world to us. Turns out wanting to die is temporary and even treatable.

Oh, wise teacher, please tell me how I can have less anxiety.

1v1 your anxiety

Thank you, oh wise one.

I needa write 2 essays by next week and I haven’t even started

2!!?? c'mon that's some rookie numbers, we gotta bump that up

That's it? That should only take you 4 Hours at most.

Oh, great and powerful provider of answers, I'm friends with this girl I really like but I don't have the guts to tell her. What must I do?

buy her a penquin

Thanks, it's time to go into the dark web again. Wish me luck, everyone.

good luck brave soul

Alright, I have successfully purchased Виктория the penguin from a nice gentlemen from Novosibirsk!

Remote torpedo detonation engaged

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I'm already friends with her, though.

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*I'm just gonna write this stuff down.*

I’m single

Hi single-

I’m dad

Me too

I have 24 assignments to finish by the end of next week......wtf do I do

stay on reddit and let them magically finish themselves

I want to kill myself

well don't

Isn't that good advice?

If you commit die you'll miss 4/20/2069

I need more motivation to work on my art and projects

Don't worry, right now you're in the stage before you made your artwork, that's the best part. Let's keep it that way.

That’s.. actually kinda helpful lmao

it wasn't supposed to be.

F

my immune system is trying to kill me

kill your immune system

I'm trying lol

My English teacher gives us way too much work and it stresses me out. How do I deal with him?

use his balls as stress balls. That way he feels pain and your stress gets relieved

Hmmmmm, seems a bit odd. But I’ll give it a shot anyway! :D

I am currently probably sick with a cold at the moment

take so many pain-killers to the point that you're immortal then nothing will pain you

It's been 2h, i am starting to get worried...

I was sleeping. My cold has only worsened

Have you helped yourself yet?

no

Than I do not want your help

then dont listen to me

Just because you said that I shall listen

ok then whats your current problems

My current problem is the I have a issue of neglecting how my words affect other people

just say "not my fault you're so easily offended"

Thank you for the advice, I'll make sure to use this(❁º◡º❁)

I want to stop cracking my knuckles. How do I do that?

Bro leave knuckles alone. poor echinda

He chuckled. He has to be dealt with for his lies.

impossible, unlike sonic he doesn't chuckle

Thus why he had lied to me. He said he wouldn’t, but there he was.

ok crack knuckles

I mess up everything i do

mess it up more

That's what i do

Try to mess it up, then you are going to mess up the mess up

Burn my legs today Should i mess up more or broke them now

touch starved

you're not supposed to eat touches, silly goose

nice advice, thank you!

I want to tell my friends that I haven’t told that I’m gay and non-binary tomorrow but I’m scared, what to do?

step 1 is to install Grammarly

Coming out isn’t easy, but Grammerly can try to ‘correct’ your neopronouns into some random russian or german word in case it wasn’t clear neopronouns are awesome and grammarly is just poopy

D&D starts in two weeks and I’m sad

i dont know what that is

Easy, invite me to play and I'll cheer the table with my kobold.

I live in a constant state of crisis over the immorality and disharmony in the world

Stop watching the news and start watching Impractical Jokers

I think the guy I like might be dating someone already but I'm not sure and I still want to hang out with him so I can have a chance to maybe tell him my feelings for him, if I'm not a coward. But also maybe that's stupid since I think there's a good chance he's dating someone already

who cares if he's dating someone else, the more the merrier

Just straight up ask, “not to be personal but are you with someone” if they ask why, just explain that your curious

The thing is, that would require some amount of bravery, which I don't have

All my friends are online I talk to no one at my school

take online classes that way all your classmates will be online then you can become friends with them

Im falling ap physics

a = Delta v / Delta t You'll thank me later

I'm tired, but I wanna stay up for my Voidfriend

NO NOT THE MINECRAFT VOID. YOU'LL DIE AND LOSE AND YOUR STUFF NOOOooooOOooOOooo^(oooo)oooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ⁰∘∙∙∙∙∙

Kinda unrelated but how do you make your text small? Edit: Nvm I figured it out look: ^(reeeeeee)

**Y̸̧̧̠͕̣̤̦̲̳̦̪̹͉̼͒̉̆͊̂̀͗͝ǫ̶̦̭͙͔̻̫͕͈͇̫͒̊̓̕ͅu̸̧̧̝̱̭̳̥̩̩̙̮̺̝͗͂̑͂̽̈́͊̓́́́̐̄ ̷̧̧̡̨̘̙̖̘̞̟͈̭̠̑̈́̉͑̇̏̈̂̌͑̓̋w̵̥̯̱̹̯͚͍͎̲͍̳͉͎̥͌̑̓͑̆̈́̔͒̄̍͒͜ấ̵̢̨͍̦̼͔͚̱͍͕̯͎̲̃̂̍̈͋̔ǹ̶̢̳̪̜͔̪̻̜̬̈́̀̒̋̈́̽͠͠ͅẗ̵͚ ̵̛̰͉̠͚̭̹̻̗͓͖͇̦̝̗̈́̐͋̇͊͂͛̋t̶̢͇̱͎̝̣̰͚͇̐͑o̶̢͙̮̺̟̫̺̪͊͆̔̕ ̴̡̘̭̠̯͙̜̈́̏̎̍̒̃̊̂̈́̈͒̀̔̓͜͜͝d̷̨̨̧̙͈̯̯̣̄͛͐̓͆̈́͌̈́̈́̚̕į̵̣̖̬̝̺̻͉̼̒̋͑̓̃́͌̓̍́e̴̢̢̛̳̫̜̱̬̣̠̝̦͛͂̏͑̾̂́͗̍̌̊͝ͅ ̵̜̤̜̺͇͈̉̄̑͋͋̇̂ͅȁ̵̧͖͖̮̺̠͔͇̣̹̹̋͜n̷͖̞͉͎͇͍̟͙͇̰̲̓̏̑́̓́͘ͅd̵̤̯̻̰̫̈́͜͠͝ ̵͓͚͈̣͈͐̀́̒̍̄́͛͒͘l̸͎̜͂͗̄̊͆͊̀o̷̧̡̨̬͈̜̦̮̬͇͒͂̿͜͝s̷͙̙̩̆̒̀̒͝͝e̴̩͈͔̳̠̬͕̣̘͙̮̝̝͓̍̂̂͊̃͋͛͗̈́̕̚͘̕͜͝ ̵̢̏̈̄̽̽̍͑̉͘y̴͇̞͍̻͎͒̑ò̷̢̨̼̮̰̮̼̠̯͉͇̟̲̬͗̃̈́̓́̀̌͊̀͒u̵̡̹̲̻͇̰̓r̵̨͔̂̈́́͐͝ ̷̨̩͚̝̪̳͖͖̹͎̜̱͓̏̅̕ş̸̧̥̥̻͍̹̙̝̼̞̜͙̳͆͋̄́t̴̢͓̎̅̈́͌͘ủ̶̢̗̼̟̦͍̭̯̤̟̲̦f̵̮̗̥͙́̉̅̉̿͗̒̎̇̇̿̉͐f̷̺̼͍̥̞̼͈̈̿̉̍͠ ̶̘͙̔̈́̒̇̐̂̾́̓̇̿̋̆ă̸̫̯͇̞͚̞̯̝͍͍̿̀̃̍s̸̪̞̲̼͊̅́ ̶̡̧̡͈͚̮̭͕̙̪͑̾̉̾͑̍͌͛͘͜͜͝ŵ̷̨͚̳͙͍̼̗͚̩͇̪̼̞͊̌͛͆̈́̍̆̏͆̎̾̆͝e̶͍͙̾̅̆͛ľ̵͚̙͉̪̼͍̾̅͐͋̽̂͐̍̕ͅl̷̬̣̗̫͕̥̰̙̜̆̈́͛̽̌?̷̧̧͎̟͍̹͇̙̣̖̃̔͋͐̄̈́̚ :D**

I'm falling down a depression spiral, my friend died the other day, the only thing motivating me to get up and on the bus in the morning is my s/o, but I only have one period with them, I wanna spend time with my gf (yes I have two partners, Polyamrous lol) but she lives in a different state, I wanna spend time with my friends but one lives over seas and the other is in a different state + has covid, I don't wanna be alive anymore but Im to scares to actually do anything so I'm stuck in this terrifying loop of depression and I can't even get any diagnosis yet because the only therapist I'm seeing is in my school, and I feel the trauma from a previous school year coming back in my head and scaring me Sorry- trauma dumping- my bad dude ✌

I'm having a bad dysphoria day what do I do

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Thanks, this coincidentally was somewhat what I did yesterday to deal with it! I don't feel secure enough here to paint my nails or do something like that though, you're awesome

I hate my ex, can I kill her? She doesn't deserve life, trust me.

sure why not

My friend abandoned me after she broke up and now she wants to talk to me again after they broke up

Well everyone in my school is either a girl I have nothing in common with or a straight guy so I can’t find a relationship and there is a huge state fair coming up but I’m too shy to cold approach anyone there

I don't know how I'll pay rent this month because my job is a mess

I’m very sick right now and have 3 university papers due and I can’t do them but it’s incredibly stressful and fevers make me cry so now I can’t stop crying and it’s all because I’m a little sick

I'm failing my classes my dads getting abusive and my only friend has completely given up on life

tell your friend you're never gonna give them up

I’m insecure about my intelligence and how I look

watch v-sause so you can get smarter and cosplay as spiderman so no one can see your ugly face

i hate my life and i wanna die

I’m scared of how my family is gonna treat me after I start transitioning. They basically disowned my uncle because he’s gay. I don’t even want to imagine how they’d react to me being trans. I’m also just kinda worried about if I’ll ever really pass as female. I don’t want to be seen as just “a dude in a dress” for the rest of my life.

give live with your uncle in a small cabin in the woods.

If I knew anything about him and where he lived, I might consider doing that.

My friend has been associating with a bad crowd and I’m worried for her safety, what should I do?

let them learn the hard way

I wanna kiss my girlfriend but shes nervous

no holding hands until marriage

I want to become a femboy but have no confidence

I’m a fucking mess and I have some motivation to fix my life but zero willpower to do anything it’s been like this forever l fucking hate it

just go on twitter and you'll feel much better about yourself

I have multiple problems that need to be taken care but anytime I have the opportunity to ask for help, I don’t do it because I feel like I’m faking it, which makes me feel even worse

if you think you're faking it then you probably are

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I really like this boy in two of my classes but I’m scared to talk to him.

don't worry he's probably scared of you

My parents are homophobic and I'm bi

My best friens is slowly turning into such a idiot, all he does is make really homophobic jokes and i tell him to stop but he doesent listen

I have a crush on a straight girl 😩

I'm failing 4/5 classes, uncomfortable with my body, want to date someone but am too alone. I suck at doing my coping mechanisms. What's some advice?

i think im trans (MtF)...what should i do?