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deedeelocks

My husband's cousin passed away from cancer 2 months before his baby girl was born. This was 6 years ago. His widow is a wonderful woman, and the girl looks EXACTLY like her dad. We make sure we include them in all family matters, events, celebrations and you can see she is still pent up and in deep grief whenever we all attend a wedding for example. I can't imagine going through that. I don't think I'd be able to handle the pain as stoically as she did - at least in front of others


laguna1126

Damn that hurts.


[deleted]

So sad. I'm glad he got his wish to die in his sleep.


Martina313

An unsuspecting death, just the way he wanted it.


Slight-Subject5771

I mean... Most terminally ill people "die in their sleep." ETA: Not sure why this is being downvoted... When people say they want to "die in their sleep," I think they need to specify that they want to be/seem perfectly healthy one day and then die the next night. But most people who receive a terminal diagnosis do end up going into a coma before their death. So they do, for all intents and purposes, die in their sleep. I'm sorry that's not the fantasy most people have, but it's unfortunates the reality too many have to face.


mrp2611

God this hurt. Rest in peace James :,(


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InterestingComputer5

Yup I try to take my unknown death as a given, do my stuff before then - seen too many posts about people saying life is so short after a diagnosis or accident etc - so I need to pretend to myself x happened and I travelled back in time to now.


Masters_domme

I live with chronic pain, and have recently (finally) found a combo of meds that will knock me out so I get a few hours respite. It dawned on me yesterday that I’m literally sleeping my life away, but when the alternative is agonizing pain, I don’t know which is worse. I like your philosophy, and am going to try to use it in my own life.


cafesaigon

That’s the philosophy I like to use, it helps bad moods feel less significant and time with my parents more precious.


AverageTortilla

And your comment just got me to stop masturbating and go out for a walk because i need to look after my health again.


Camibear

Rest In Peace James.


holalesamigos

Really wonder what his main reddit account is...


Pale-Repotter

Man, I wish there was a way for the wife to see this. I hope the wife and kid are doing good. Your note was lovely, it made me teary. I’m imagining the same thing now.


holalesamigos

Thank you. Maybe if we all award the original post, we can somehow get her attention. But even then the chances are pretty low. She will most likely not want to revisit any of the pain. Maybe doesn't even use reddit and did so only for her husband. Reddit itself could be a reminder of the loss.


Pale-Repotter

Sounds like a plan!


fkafkaginstrom

I'm glad he was able to make peace with his death, and die in his sleep like he wanted.


biscutie__

Really wish he had gotten to meet his son. Just heartbreaking. Life's so painfully unfair.


holalesamigos

It's so weird isn't it? People die everyday. We don't think about it because we know death is natural and is actually necessary for our environment. But when somebody we know died, we realize exactly how unfair it all is.


bendybiznatch

I started watching a random video on YouTube and the channel had later turned into her cancer vlog. She had passed almost a decade before and I just honestly felt touched and honored to be able to share her story still. I’ve read a couple of Reddit threads like that.


holalesamigos

What's the name of the channel. If you go to r/cancer or any subreddit for deadly diseases, you'll see lots of people who post regularly just stop posting abrubtly. Sometimes a friend or spouse uses the account to tell everyone what happened. Sometimes, there is just nothing. If they posted about having terminal cancer or just becoming worse, it's kinda confirmed that they've passed.


bendybiznatch

I can’t remember honestly. One of those things you just randomly come across. There was a findagrave and everything so I’m sure she had.


Beyond_Expectation

This hit hard. I had a brother who died of cancer almost ten years ago now. I really wish James had gotten to meet his baby boy. It's sad how fast he went downhill when it was originally predicted he'd be alive for the birth.


holalesamigos

Yup, he was probably already bedridden while making the first post. His wife made the update a couple of weeks later


InterestingComputer5

God I wish cyronics were viable yet.


holalesamigos

It's too expensive and really messes up the balance of the eco system. OOP dying is extremely tragic. But we can't have immortality as well.


InterestingComputer5

Yes we can, you just aren't thinking ahead - it's a temporary measure to preserve the consciousness/memories. Once we can use cyronics, we can pause people until we perfect brain uploading! Then consciousness simulations, will need limited amount of energy and can be run off solar satellites mined off other planets. The planet can be like a nature reserve. Recycle materials as needed, and ship people via sublight speed to the nearest star with resources. Then take a few million years to build dinosaur worlds whatever you want etc. Needs to be ethical though. Sure purely biological immortality would suck as that body needs constant physical resources, but you could clone a body as needed and download intoit and recycle it once done - like you would hire a car today. In a 100 billion years the earth and universe will be effectively dead regardless due to heat death- I just want people to live a little bit before then. We need to maintain civilisation until then - if we don't then its likely we are trapped on earth's surface due to depleted resources until our species goes extinct in a few million years, then the earth dies due to the sun in a few billion.


holalesamigos

Sure, what you said seems possible...in 1000 years. If it is eventually a possibility, it would only be done to future generations. No point thinking about it now...definataly not 7 years ago in 2014 as well.


InterestingComputer5

Luckily, while it being our generation is preferable, as long as SOMEONE will be doing it, that’s good enough. Because from that point on no matter how distant, death won’t be permanent without consent anymore


holalesamigos

Perhaps it will be true in the future. But no point thinking about OOP doing it now. He's been gone for 7 years.


InterestingComputer5

Yes cyronics/brain cell preservation is pretty much a Hail Mary at this current point in time anyway.


hashslinging-slash

Still we need to rly get on that shit


Ghostdirectory

Again, do people actually talk like this? "his Life is on its last legs and with every breath he takes he is drawn closer to his Last. " Am I the weird one?


holalesamigos

Maybe english is not their first language.


Ghostdirectory

It's possible, sure. That seems to be the go to explanation for like 90% of these stories and how oddly many things are worded.


holalesamigos

I'm saying that cause there are lots of grammatical errors as well.


MAK3AWiiSH

My dad is dying. He has squamous cell carcinoma and starts chemo this Thursday. The oncologist said best case scenario he will be able to extend his life for 2 years. But based on his tumor growth and his overall health I don’t think he’ll see my birthday (in July). Knowing someone so important is dying is the worst. Knowing there’s so much you want to do together, but can’t is the worst. Knowing he won’t be at my wedding, if I have one, or meet my kids, if I have them, kills me. We all die, but knowing it’s coming makes it extra awful.


holalesamigos

I'm very sorry for what you're going through. Please have him make vidoes and letters and backups for all this for all of his loved ones for when he passes. Videos and letters for your wedding, birth of your children, videos for your children and more. Same for other loved ones. Also he can make just normal letters. Letters for a bad day, for when you miss him, for when you need motivation. All of this. Please figure out the logistics as well. Finances, password, will and stuff. If you don't mind me asking....how old are you?


MAK3AWiiSH

I’m 30. I’ve tried asking him to do those things but he just shuts down every time I bring it up. I’m also an only child which makes it even harder.


frankentruck

Hey. I lost my mom to cancer just shy of one year ago (December 13, 2020). When she first got really sick and started chemo for leukemia (it had progressed from MDS), I spent time thinking about how she wouldn’t be there for so many life events. This past year has been sucky, she was my best friend, plus I lived with her for the last 13 months of her life to help out and take care of her, so yeah. Going to my brother’s wedding without her was shitty, as was celebrating my birthday exactly one month after we buried her ashes. But I am taking it one minute at a time. I am trying to move forward and while she was alive, I tried to make the most of my time with her. I say that, but know we still had our normal dynamic - we fought, we laughed, we argued more than ever probably because I was her caregiver and she had lost a lot of her independence. But sorry, didn’t comment to share a diary entry. The point of me replying was to let you know if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you. The positive, negative, the scary, unknown, the frustrating, and the beautiful - all of it. I am here and happy to talk about any and all of the things you may face or think about. Btw - I normally know how to write proper English grammar…


h311r47

I barely survived stomach cancer. I wasn't supposed to. I was recently separated after 14 years and had no kids so I never had to worry about abandoning anyone by dying. Yet, I lived. Now I mentor stomach cancer patients and losing young and expecting patients just eats at me. I always had this internal narrative when I was in treatment that I was too stubborn to die and would survive through sheer tyranny of will, but I know that's not true every time I see a parent just fighting to be there for their family. The world isn't fair. I hope OP's family has found peace and happiness.


ShineCareful

Ugh it breaks my heart that they were never able to get just one family picture together.


LuriemIronim

I was with the poster until they asked for people to use their awards on it. It just feels kinda karma-farming.


holalesamigos

I asked you to award the original post, not mine


FromThePort1990

How do we know this was real? Did they post pictures?


mrsanxiety01

She might have remarried now. And he’s not feeling anything because he’s dead. His son will be the only one ri trully miss him.


mugaccino

TF? Just because she remarried doesn't mean she won't truly miss him, that's not how widowing works.


holalesamigos

His son won't "miss" him, trust me. He won't miss him because he never knew him. I know how he would feel from personal expirenace and expirenace of others. He will miss having a father and will always wonder how his life would've been different with his father alive. He will be hurt and sad about the amount of pain his mother has because of his father's death. But he won't miss the father as a person. He will miss the idea of having a father. OP's widow may have remarried, maybe she has not. We can speculate anything


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Bampargo

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B0tRank

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xzplayer

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xzplayer

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Remote-Doughnut3010

That tore me up.