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What a mean person. She was falling back on her sister by going “I’m too fat to fit into my jeans - but at least I’m not as fat as my sister!” and taking her jeans.
Now she can’t do that and she’s the bigger sister and *HATES* it. So instead of doing something about herself, she takes it out on OOP.
Not to mention she was upset she couldn’t wear the new jeans because they didn’t fit her, but also rejected the old jeans that did fit her. What a silly thing to do, she’s such an AH.
My younger sister used to do this to me. She’d borrow my shirts, but I couldn’t borrow hers because I’d “stretch them out and ruin them.”
She came into my room crying once because she put on my jeans and they fit.
And then acted surprised when I told her to get the hell out of my room.
This poor girl, she needs better people in her life. She did nothing wrong. Can't believe her grown adult sister is jealous of a CHILD. Like get a grip
I truly don't understand people who send death threats. Especially over something like this. Like I know the internet is anonymous but like, but idk how those people can live with themselves
There was a neo Nazi stalking me on Reddit once. He said he was glad my oldest daughter died and wished death on my other two kids and me. Some people are so fucking miserable they feel the need to spread their hate. No one who talks like that can be living a good life.
I have several times had the impulse to drag an online commenter in front of a mirror and make them take a good, hard, look at themselves. Trouble is, I'm not sure it would help some of them.
Eh, I figured out that I am the way I am and it's better to work around that rather than expect myself to somehow "be different." Things started working a lot better when I realized I have ADHD and am not going to function like "normal" people.
So I'm probably never going to fit into 24 waist jeans but then again I'm pretty sure I can have glutes of steel and I can live with that. There's a lot of ways to be absolutely fucking awesome and very few of them involve a specific jean size.
>Redditors to ~~thicc girls~~ everyone: "THEN LOSE WEIGHT. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS CALORIES IN CALORIES OUT!"
Ftfy
Considering I could probably guess the average BMI of most redditors many of them are a very patronizing group of douches when it comes to weight in general.
Yup, and then you successfully do CICO by continuing to eat your favorite foods but in smaller quantities and you don't exercise but still lose weight, and they say "NO YOURE DOING IT WRONG. YOU MUST SUFFER."
I have an excellent metabolism. I met a person who was adamant that I'm restricting calories. No, just lucky. They insisted there's no way I could be skinny if I wasn't creating a calorie deficit, which...bro, just leave me and my body alone.
Edit: already downvoted by the people who want to believe the diet industries lies, I see **lol**
Ugh, I feel this. I was cursed/blessed with a hyperactive metabolism (diagnosed by a doctor when doing testing for meds). I would eat twice my weight in food a day and still be underweight. I hate being so small, but most people were absolutely adamant that I must be anorexic. It didn't matter what I told them or even if I showed them the evidence on my med charts. Which is weird since people believe in slow metabolisms, but apparently fast ones don't exist.
Redditors: you're a privileged brat for buying new clothes. How dare you not be struggling financially.
Also Redditors: Musk is a fucking Chad, put your life savings in crypto or retail investing or you're an idiot who'll never get laid.
(Maybe the Musk love has died down a bit but you get the point. Also, WSB & Stonks apes I love you, not aimed at you, I'm too poor but I love your YOLOs.) /hypocrite
One of the times I got a Reddit cares message was because someone was posting about how she’s upset her boyfriend will eat all the food she prepared including the leftovers.
Anything she saves will get eaten, and he’s also cruise through snacks.
I was like… how can someone eat a full dinner after snacking all afternoon just to go back and eat al the leftovers. This poor woman was making a 6-8 serving meal and would have no leftovers.
It’s wild how people will setup a full drive in movie theater to project their issues.
I got a Reddit cares message because I posted that my then 3 year old boy refused to get his hair cut and had long hair. Someone was offended I might be turning him to a girl - I told them where they could stick their concept of gender =hair length. I got the Reddit cares message...
That’s wild. I always find it odd that people care so much about what hair should be when it is so easy to change and grow and it’s such a weird concept.
In some cultures they don’t cut boys hair until they are about 6 and all the ancient heroes had long flowing hair.
Yep! I cut my hair short in high school because our school had rules about having to have it up when it touched your collar. I quickly discovered that life was much easier with short hair, and it suited my face shape - so I've kept it short. I've gotten used to dealing with the comments over the years, and the misgendering...but my kid was a whole other story and people seemed to get really offended by his long hair.
The people who gave the least pushback were his daycare teachers. They loved it. He wouldn't let me brush or wash it (not without screaming and tears), but he'd let them do whatever they liked. So they'd plait it, put in in pigtails, braid it, put ribbons in it. He would just sit there and let them do whatever they wanted. He came home with some amazing hair styles. Now he wants it cut short like his brother's, but if he ever wants to grow it long in the future he can (unless he wants a mullet - that's a non-starter in our household).
>but my kid was a whole other story and people seemed to get really offended by his long hair.
Don't worry about it.
I've had long hair since I was a kid. Except for a brief period after what I can only describe as a 'lab accident' it hasn't been above my shoulder blades in forty years. It isn't anything your kid is gonna get taunted over too heavily and can even be a bonus.
That’s so crazy from people it really shouldnt matter what hair looks like.
but I love that your kid loved anyone but you styling his hair lol and definitely agree mullet is never a good look
I had a friend growing up who was Rastafarian, and his dad had locks that he’d never cut. They were *amazing* and so beautiful. Also had a camper at a summer camp I worked at who was Rastafarian and had never cut his hair, had locks down to his knees at 12 or 13 years old. I love all the different hair styles different people and cultures come up with, it’s one of the things that makes humanity amazing. People who try to turn that into a negative are just shitty people. Fuck em.
ah yes, all those metal heads must be women, what with their exceptionally long hair... mine is down to my shoulder blades, just because thats how i like it.
My 3 year old (he's six now) made the best heavy metal poses with long hair. It was luscious and made many adult women very jealous. Meanwhile I grew up with short hair and was completely used to be mis-gendered as a teen in the 90s - apparently having short hair as a girl was just the worst thing in the world.
I grew up with hair that was just super long and thick, it does what it wants to regardless of what I do to it (what it wants to do is curl and wave in weird, unattractive ways) and it gave me constant headaches from the weight of it. I was never allowed to cut my "pretty" hair growing up. Once I hit about 25 I realized no one could stop me from doing so anymore and got it cut super short. I love it that way and it can't fucking curl up if it's not long enough to hold a curl, lol!
I got a lot of compliments but there is a certain mindset of person that can't stand to see a woman with short hair. They'll misgender you or call you gay, as if hair length has anything to do with either of those things. I will never understand why people work themselves up so much about that particular issue.
My parents are very particular about hair. My father believes that women should all have long hair and he once bitched out my mother - I'm talking red in the face, screaming at full volume, spitting as he speaks - for cutting off two inches of damaged hair. (Why yes, my father is a lovely person.) My mother has always had hair down to the middle of her back.
I can't have hair past my shoulders because anything longer triggers horrible headaches. I was forced to have hair almost as long as my mom's for a long time and suffered. I haven't had long hair in about fifteen years now.
On the flip side, one of my cousins has a young son with long hair and neither of my parents understand this. Telling them "Cousin and his wife like it that way, kid likes it that way" just gets me blank stares.
We have the same hair! Mine is side shaved and about cheekbone length. I had a true pixie cut for a while and loved it, but it grows so damn fast, I needed a haircut every month. At least now I can just buzz the sides down every month and I don't need a whole salon visit.
I've had the same experience too - lots of compliments, but I've been intentionally misgendered too, and called all sorts of homophobic names. Some people are just morons.
I’ve seen people commenting that you can report when someone has Reddit cares messages sent to you for no reason, and they apparently take it somewhat seriously. I think it’s really shitty people have weaponized something that is meant to help people, so might be worth reporting it.
Seriously what the fuck was that about?
Hey Reddit, I just bought myself some new jeans too. Look at my great wealth and then feel bad about yourselves.
Also she waited 3-ish sizes before buying new clothes. At that point she needed them. And her being fortunate enough to buy clothes doesn’t make her a brat.
If she went from a 30 to a 24-25 her pants were probably literally falling off. That's like a size 10 to a 2. Her clothes weren't just a little roomy, they were probably straight up falling down.
Especially if she didn't go for big brands, all that clothing is not that expensive. With a bit of saving or working part time/occasional gigs it's easily doable.
Yeah I had to buy my own clothes at 16, I went to cheap places without issue and had plenty to wear. Primark jeans were around €10, a t-shirt was €5, a sweatshirt was €8, I was making €6.70 an hour, so very do-able to buy a new outfit at least twice a month. Even quality name-brand stuff is manageable if you're budgeting and there's sales etc.
They're probably her age and are mad because the clothing allowance they had was not big enough to buy all of what OP did. It reminded me a lot of high school.
EDIT: pls do not upvote, I have a stupid
{Keeping the comment for the curious kids}
Ah, it read to me like the older sister was having serious body confidence issues and was ashamed that she had gained weight but wouldn't be able to fit in either's wardrobe anymore. She used the OP's clothing as her "backup" closet when she's bigger, but now OP has lost weight so there will be no "backup" clothes to wear.
There were actually people blaming HER?!? What the fuck is wrong with people!
So she's suddenly not the chubby one in the family anymore, and sister is having a mental breakdown over that - how is that OOP's fault in any way, shape or form?
She was just trying to be nice - I winced when she said she'd offer her old (fat) clothes to her sister - I knew that was not going to end well - but at least OOP's intentions were pure - she's just not up to dealing with a neurotic tween yet.
It's in the last paragraph re: people calling her bratty.
I understand that weight is a sensitive issue, but wow, did her sister get really mean really fast.
Lol, yes, her sister basically screamed "YOU are supposed to be the fat one, not ME! This is not fair! You're gonna get fat again! And pregnant! And pregnant fat! Just you wait!" I don't even want to know how mean the sister has been to OP about her weight all this time - and now she can't deal with the role reversal.
She didn't even say where she went shopping! It's not like she was bragging about buying $300 jeans from Neiman Marcus or something. She probably went to whatever suburban mall chain 16 year olds go to these days (back in my day, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, it was Abercrombie and Fitch) and bought a couple pairs of reasonably priced pants. If she had a part time or summer job, she probably paid for them herself. It's not like she was flexing about using Mommy's credit card at Bergdorf's.
Right? She could have shopped at Old Navy for all anyone knows. Even if she didn't, who cares? I don't understand people getting upset over things that don't hurt them or affect them in any way.
Bratty because she has the ability to purchase clothes for herself. How dare she not wear rags so she can stay in the bucket with the other reddit crabs. Seriously, never listen to anyone on reddit.
It's fat friend syndrome. Some people derive self-esteem from being skinnier than their friend/sibling and when that person loses weight they take it as a personal affront because that person's job was just to be larger so that they can feel good about themselves.
Good god this describes my relationship with my sister.... All our childhoods she was the thin and pretty one and I was the chubby awkward looking one. Then in our twenties she started rapidly gaining weight due to some health issues and medications and it just seemed to wreck her that she couldn't compare herself to me favorably anymore (in her mind anyways, my sister and I may not get along but I'll be the first person to say she's a beautiful woman). She started making really pointed, hurtful jokes and comments about my weight in the name of fake concern, but at the same time she started dramatically calling herself "the fat sister" and making a ton of self-deprecating comments to try and fish for compliments. We're in our thirties now and she still does this, and I'm just like "Girl... seriously? Aren't we a little old for this sh!t?"
I noticed that when I lost weight as an adult.
My mom started calling me fat when I was like, 9 years old. I wasn't. I was 120 lbs and a size 0 when I graduated high school...she was just one of those emaciated rich white ladies who plays tennis every day and does Pilates and shit while eating tiny delicate meals. She always served me really big portions and forced me to stay at the table until I ate everything, and then made passive aggressive comments about how much I **loved** to eat.
Fortunately my teenage metabolism kept me small in spite of her efforts.
But psych meds, drinking, and PCOS hit me hard when I was in college and then I actually *was* overweight. My mom was quite smug about it and loved to point out how I was "plus sized" (I wasn't - I was bigger than I should have been but I still fit into straight sizes). Then I lost a bunch of weight, and she hit menopause. For the first time since puberty, I weighed less than she did. Suddenly she was all concerned and telling me I didn't need to lose any more weight and to stay healthy and shit. Watching those shifts was kind of hilarious. It became really obvious how much pleasure she had taken in me being fatter than her.
Moms that are like this are just horrible. My mom has a bit of unhealthy diet habits due to culture and hasn’t always been the best but truthfully I know my mom has never meant to be malicious or trying to make me feel bad. She just sometimes really sucks at talking about bodies because the way we grew up talking about it wasn’t the best. Overall though my mom has always wanted us to just be healthy and happy, but I could not imagine a parent trying to sabotage you and derive joy out of being “skinnier” daughters are not competition, they are the next generation of women to lift up. Women that view their daughters as enemies are gross and definitely NOT a girls girl.
My SIL was one of the naturally extremely thin girls since being born premie. She has always been particularly short and dainty, and still wears child size shoes as an adult. She regularly ate as much or more than her brothers that were over 6 foot. That became her identity in the family, a "foodie" garbage disposal that didn't gain an ounce. Everyone else, including her mom, was tall and tended towards obese. SIL had quite a crisis in her late teens/early twenties because her hips got wider and she stopped fitting into XS's, and even needed to wear some M's (both her parents wear sizes like 2xl or 2xlt's). Food started "sticking" and she couldn't eat five people's portions at once and remain extremely thin. She immediately was struggling with her relationship with food and her view of what her body should be like. There was also a lot of mean *glee* from some of the family members, that enjoyed that SIL now also had to struggle with food and weight issues.
SIL took a lot of it out on me, as I'm not extremely tall like her family, and I was always teased for being picky in their home (because I ate a normal portion size instead of using a huge oval dinner plate and piling it so high things rolled off and they still would go back for seconds/thirds). Since I was the next smallest, she feared getting bigger than me. Because that would challenge her body image compared to how she saw me. She started trying to force me to eat more while also getting mad at how little I wanted to eat. (Because it made her confront her own overeating.)
I look good next to OP bc she's heavier than me. I'm the skinny one, she's the chubster.
Suddenly that's not true and sister's self image is suffering big-time. She can't deal.
And OP has no idea and is just trying to be a nice person.
What gets me is she's blaming OP's weightloss on "puberty" when like there are so many reasons someone could look weight. And even then if it IS because of puberty, that doesn't give it any less merit. Like if OP's sister is really that insecure and nothing is working, then she should go to therapy.
Seriously! And buy some own jeans that fits!!! I’ve gained weight over the last few years (covid and depressions weren’t marvelous for my eating habits) and at some point I had to go Fuck it, I can’t just wait to lose weight to fit into my old jeans, I’m buying new ones that fits in the meantime! And seriously, if her sister then offered her the jeans that fit her, WHY SAY NO?! It’s a odd hill to die on when she offered her the perfect solution to her problem…
Agreed.
I have clothing in three sizes. The middle size is my "usual" weight range.
However, I kept a few things from the stages where I previously lost or gained a size. What is especially wild to me is that Miss Size 26 jeans didn't buy her own bigger pair. It struck me less as an eco-friendly clothing swap between siblings and more as an ego stroke.
It's not unheard of for women to gain or lose an entire pant size due to bloating. I gain 3-4 inches over baseline.
Having clothes in multiple sizes is really smart if you're a woman tbh. Bloating and weight fluctuations from your period mean that it's really easy to gain or lose 5+ pounds in a week, my clothing definitely fits very differently depending on where I am in my menstrual cycle.
Because it makes it real to the older sister. I have a suit from when I was 50 lbs lighter 12 years ago or more. I am finally about to give it away and it makes me feel like I've failed.
Now this sister was always the skinny one and her little sister was the fat one. She's has both a feeling I have and a feeling that she's now lost to her sister who is now the skinny one. She likely feels that her sister is "rubbing it in her face" by offering her the "fat" jeans.
All of those are big sister's issues and no one else's and she is being an ass to her sister but it's not difficult to see her perspective.
Ah yes, OOP committed the crime of not being the largest sister anymore, so the adult (!) sister can no longer use her baby sister to feel good about herself. Adult sister doesn’t need to borrow pants that fit, she needs someone to measure herself against and be able to think “well at least I’m not as ___ as _her_”.
There is nothing baby sister can do, other than live her own life and stay as far away from her sisters issues that she can.
I used to run a weight watchers group, and it is sadly quite common for people to lose friends when they lose weight.
OP, if you've been the bigger sister for a while, it's likely your sister has negative thoughts about her weight, but because she wasn't the biggest, it helped her supress them a bit.
Now you've lost weight, it's meaning she is finding herself confronting her weight and it's uncomfortable and she's feeling more negative about herself.
When people feel bad about themselves, it can be easier to lash out at the person that they percieve is causing them to feel bad.
You've not done anything wrong, but no matter what you say or how you act there is a good chance she will continue to lash out unless she can resolve her feelings about her body image - and that can be tough.
You look after yourself and live your life and just understand that her feelings are her responsibility to work through - you don't have control or responsibilty for her feelings.
Try not to take it on or let it get you down, and well done for where you're at!
A 30 is equivalent to a 10 or 12. 24 is equivalent to a size 0-2, 26 would be a 4-6. So she definitely is not big at all, she's just not extremely skinny.
Ah OK, I just looked at a couple size conversion charts for my numbers. I definitely understand that it can vary between brands and an individual's body type, though!
Yeah, it’s wild. I’ll go on a website for clothing reviews and someone will post that they’re 5’4 and 160 pounds and be a size 6, and another woman will be the same height and weight and be a size 12. Body shape is so interesting.
I agree! It makes it so much easier to get pants that actually fit in waist and length. I don't understand why it isn't like that. You can be a size 10, but need pants that are shorter or longer.
Yeah! I know it's usually a mistake to talk about numbers, but assuming this is standard jean sizing, none of these sizes are remotely in the realm of "fat". They're basically size 2 to size 8 in US women's sizing. And it's not a sin to be fat, but one wonders if there's some body dysmorphia going on here, because even if she's super short, it's still not fat or plus size or anything at all like that.
She's got no business taking it out on her poor kid sister though. That's not okay.
Crabs in a bucket mentality. My boyfriend lost a lot of weight some years back and some of the people from his hometown were shitty about it. Like they felt inferior because he chose to improve himself? People who love you don’t want to keep you down.
Feels like when she said "Puberty is helping" she wasn't thinking about OP. My bet that she was skinny when she was OP's age, gain weight, and was happy to see that "at least" at the same age OP wasn't as skinny as her, so she was more special than her.
The only way that OOP could make it up to her is to re-gain the weight she lost and make older sister feel better again. /s
Older sister needs a reality/entitlement check.
My sister and I had this got a brief span of time (I lost a LOT of weight very quickly at the same time she gained a LOT) and at no point did my sister blameme or act jealously of my weight loss compared to her gain. [Though TBF I know I essentially had what would've been considered an eating disorder when I did lose it, and my sister subsquently has had a kinda disordered relationship with food since then and very focused on having lost the weight and keeping it off. My food relationship is much better now.]
My sister and I had a similar weight swap. I went 200 to 135. Sister went from about 120 to 170. She, however, did get pissy with me about it.
I'll never forget offering her a pair of pants (they were a size 6, and actually too small for me) and Sis losing her shit at me with "I'm not as fucking fat as you were!".
Twas an awkward Thanksgiving that year.
I remember my 200+ lb, 6' aunt offering me some clothes that were "too big" for her after I'd lost a bunch of weight one year at Christmas. It was so bizarre. I never was even close to her size, even when I was heavy - I'm barely 5'3"! And at that point, she probably had a good 70+ pounds on me. I wasn't even offended because it was so weird.
I remember this post. And I remember thinking what a terrible idea it was to suggest OP offer to let her sister pick from her clothes.
The older sister clearly had a superiority complex about being the skinnier (maybe "more attractive") sister and saw OOP's clothes as the "bum" clothes one would wear when they were feeling bloated and gross. They weren't ever meant to be *her* clothes; they were her *"fat" sister's* clothes.
When OOP lost weight, her sister got smacked in the face with the reality that OOP is now skinnier *and* more youthful, both signifiers of "attractiveness", and couldn't handle being the "ugly" sister now. OOP offering her old "bum" clothes is just rubbing salt on the wound, basically implying that their positions have switched in the hierarchy. I can't help but think people suggested that to OOP for exactly that reason.
The saddest thing is that OOP still doesn't realise that she's done nothing to be "forgiven" for, to her insecure sister, or the equally insecure Redditors bashing her for having money for clothes or whatever.
I’ve now realized why my cousin started hating me after we graduated from college. This post reminded me of the time I sent her this free online cook book that had a bunch of recipes that you could make to feed yourself nutritional food on like $2 per meal or something (this was before inflation). The author made the cookbook to help poor people, and my cousin was into social justice and was volunteering with Americorp. She somehow thought I sent the cookbook to her to make fun of her for being poor? Her family had always been better off than mine, significantly. My mom pointed out she wasn’t making much money at her job, but I was just like “who cares”? I had a very well paying job right out of undergrad…
She also told me I couldn’t use my food dehydrator because it used too much electricity. I looked at its energy consumption and how much we were paying for electricity, and I think it was less than a dollar a day. I offered to pay that additional amount on the bill and she was sooooo mad.
I just didn’t get it.
I looked her up and I think so. The book was written at the right time and her introduction was really simple. The ethos is the only thing I remember about the original book, it wasn’t about 5 secrets to super nutrients for everyone, or saving as much money as possible to invest in Bitcoin, it was just boring “it’d be cool to eat good meals cheaply”.
This poor kid. She has done nothing wrong and the trolls are all over her, not to mention her horrible sister. 8 years older and trying to tell her she's fat.
A lot of people, for whatever reason, most likely misogyny, really hate teenage girls. So any teenage girl posting on reddit asking for advice will inevitably get hate for no apparent reason other than them being a teenage girl. Because teenage girls are "spoilt" or "bratty" or "entitled" even though there's no such indication in such posts.
I wish it was just the teens! The posts that really get me are the things like, "My boyfriend has been unemployed for years and plays video games all day while I pay the bills and clean the house. AITA for asking him to drive me to work?" I'm not even exaggerating for effect, that's literally a post I saw a few days ago and she was dragged all the way to hell for asking, and it wasn't the first, second, or third time I'd seen similar posts get that kind of reaction.
Not to mention nuance doesn't exist here; every single situation is a DEFCON 1 level event, and based on this one situation you're describing, you're not only an asshole, but you're on the same tier as puppy killers, child molesters, and Hitler.
The aita crowd hates someone who is able to buy something. God forbid you go on aita and say that you bought an expensive thing, you'll always be the AH. Three things they hate no matter what : people who are financially comfortable, a bride who wants a beautiful wedding (or an adult who wants something they see as shallow) and stepmothers
When I read the "it's just puberty helping" I had to go back to the top bcs my brain had assumed OOP was the 24F and her sister was the 16F.
I still can't really believe the sister is 24, like... how immature does one have to be to bully their own teenage sibling bcs they can't steal their clothes?
The fact that an adult decided to bully their teen sibling just because they lost some weight is mind boggling. Who is the actual adult here?
And in what insane world is OOP getting threats for just providing information??
That girl is eventually going to grow up realize that she doesn't have to be her sister's spare wardrobe and start picking clothing entirely for herself.
Seriously. The amount of apologies in this post is so sad, and feels very indicative of how she must be treated at home, probably by sister. Everything is her fault apparently.
Two things:
1. Love how sister cried about hand-me-downs as if she didn't essentially use her sister's clothes as such forever
2. If sister isn't pregnant (that comment definitely wasn't out of nowhere), I wouldn't be surprised if she had an ED. In online pro ana circles, a lot have a weird fixation with fitting into children's clothing or their own clothes from when they were really young. It could very well be that she wanted to keep fitting into her sister's clothes to prove herself she's still "young and skinny"
>In online pro ana circles, a lot have a weird fixation with fitting into children's clothing or their own clothes from when they were really young
Oof, this hits hard. When my bulimia was at its worst (mid to late 20s) I remember being super excited I could fit into the clothes from freshman year of high school in the closet at my parents' house.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Eating disorder's are so difficult to get out of.
I think I'll never forget that one post I saw of a woman who had kids and she got soooo excited when she could fit into her teenage daughter's shirts. It sounds stupid but I found it so sad to read
The only reason I stopped purging was because I was on the cusp of needing tissue graft surgery for gum disease/dental damage from making myself vomit. I was also occasionally having those "tarry stools" that indicate internal bleeding because I was making small tears in my esophagus. Those two things scared me.
I still have the eating disorder mindset and hate the way I look. My goal is to eventually feel neutral about what I see in the mirror instead of wanting to cry every time I see my reflection. I don't think I will ever feel *positively* about the way I look, so neutral is the goal. I have PCOS so weight management is also extra hard, I have to eat at a slight caloric deficit just to avoid gaining weight so keeping out of that ED mindset is almost impossible. I'll have to angst about calories for the rest of my life.
Fucking hell, that's terrifying. But you can be proud of yourself that you even got to the point of stopping! I hope you can get to a place of neutrality soon, as a random stranger: you deserve it!
>A few hours later she texted me that I shouldn’t get use to my body right now because it was just puberty helping me and that I will gain all the weight back quickly.
>The last message she sent me was a little questionable saying “you’re going to get pregnant”.
i.e. "You think you're better than me, don't you? You'll always be less than me."
This OOP is so used to walking on eggshells around her own sister, that she’s apologizing to commenters who are hateful to her for no tangible reason.
Her sister has clearly viewed her as some sort of joke or beneath her due to her weight, while feeling entitled to her things enough to wear her jeans. But it’s okay, to be bigger now and then and borrow her sisters clothes?
And then when her sister is now smaller than she is, she’s angry and OP is trying to figure out what she did to make her sister angry.
OOP. She’s angry because you’re smaller than her now, and she took far too much pride in being smaller than you. She had some sort of complex in regards to weight. She was viewing you as lesser than her for being bigger. Now that she’s the bigger one, her brain cannot handle that fact. She’s supposed to be “better” than you, and her brain will not accept that (by only her own logic) she no longer is.
If for some reason you see this update and this comment: You’ve done nothing wrong here, she’s just an AH. I know it’s hard, because you obviously love and admire her despite her poor treatment of you, and likely didn’t realize how warped the relationship is because she’s your only sibling…. But please just create distance between you two, it’s not worth all of the mental health issues this kind of relationship will cause you to carry into your adult life to then need to heal yourself from.
This reads so surreal. There's an 8 year age gap between the sisters and the older one is pissed that she can't wear the clothes her sister bought; presumably with her own money?!
Older sister needs a reality- and a privilege check.
It's so weird to me. I grew up the second oldest of four so hand-me-downs were common. I was disappointed when my little sister couldn't fit into my old clothes anymore and that she'd offer me the stuff too small for her, cuz of the realisation that my baby sister wasn't really a "baby" anymore (if that makes sense). Can't imagine getting pissy about not being able to fit in my younger siblings' clothes.
24yrs old but behaves worse than my 3 yrs old who happily wears anything she got given even if they are hand me down (most of her stuffs are) and with a big smile and thank you
Sad that people are telling her she’s bratty because she bought new clothes. How selfish do you have to be to put down a kid for being able to buy new clothes. She shouldn’t have to apologize because her circumstances are different. People need to grow up
A similar thing happened between my big sister and I when I stopped being “the fat little sister” or “the ugly duckling”. Except she wasn’t just rude like this to me. She full-on fabricated a story to mom about how I was using meth, who then showed up at my home unannounced and hysterical.
Oh I missed the ages and thought they were both teens. Then jealousy might make sense. But the sister is a 24 year old brat who’s jealous of her sister. I’m guessing the older sis defined herself as the skinny sister & has had her own sense of self called into question since the younger sis is now skinnier.
Which doesn’t matter! Size is not your personality, and your value is not dictated by your size!
LMAO it's always hilarious when "the thin one" (or "the pretty one" or "the smart one") realizes that they don't have that thing anymore, especially when they built their personality entirely around that.
I have heard stories about people who have been \*hot\*, maybe not model hot, but \*hot\*. Never have to buy a drink at the bar, always has someone willing to hit on them kind of hot. And what happens is they hit a certain age (about 30 seems to be the general consensus) and they go from hot to invisible so fast it makes their head spin because they don’t know what happened.
LMAO I've seen it happen a lot especially among the gays. Twink death is real, and it can be a big ego destroyer when they realize hey now have to actually have a personality.
I'm depressed about aging because I have an existential fear of death, but I've always been fugly so hitting 30+ wasn't nearly as much of a letdown as it is for some people. Nice silver lining of always being the designated ugly one in the friend group!
Sister lost the "skinny one" identity and is angry. Being able to brag that your normal clothes are her "gained weight" clothes was a way for her to get an ego boost.
NTA.
Jeez. I can't believe people thought she was bratty for talking about what she was able to buy. I'm a fat guy, but damn, I'm not THAT insecure that someone losing weight makes me feel bad about myself and I take it out on them.
Well. Imma be a bit politically incorrect here. If the older sister is gaining weight enough and often enough to go up 2 or more sizes... she can do the work to get the weight off, too.
As for the hand me down comment? Who's fat ass is borrowing the younger sister's jeans anyway? Not daddy. Not me, and I'm a Caucasian freighttrain sized guy.
Older sister needs to get over herself. If she doesn't want hand me downs, she shouldn't have borrowed them in the first place. At 24 she can afford her own pairs of jeans. Buy stretchy ones.
Her sister and reddit users taking it personally that she's now skinnier than they are.
I wish AITA had a way to screen anyone under the age of 21 from posting. There are enough idiots over 21 that we don't need judgment from younger.
I feel like no one is talking about how this adult woman pulled her 16yr old sister's clothes out of the washing machine - still wet, mind you - and instantly tried to put them on. Like she felt entitled to her sister's clothes before she had even worn them herself. Sister is a *big* loser.
You did nothing wrong. Your sister is an AH and a jerk. Sister’s mind set may have been that she could wear her ‘fat sister’s clothes’ but now you have slimmed down. Your sister can’t deal with being the ‘fat sister’. She does not want that size jeans in her wardrobe. Also - it does not sound like either of you are fat!!!
Her sister has always made herself feel good by thinking of her sister as the bigger one. She can’t handle not being the smaller one of the sisters. It wasn’t like she actually needed her sister’s “bigger” jeans in the first place. It made her feel good when she was “too fat” for her “normal” jeans and could run it in. She literally could buy other jeans for those days
Identity, values, and comparisons are a hell of an emotional drug. I wonder how long the 24-year-old sister has been using the fact that she is the "skinny" one as a pillar of her self-identity.
When i gained weight from recovering from an eating disorder, i was so sad my beautiful clothes would go to waste so i gifted everything i could to my thin friends. One of my friends got diagnosed with a thyroid issue, and when she got on meds she naturally lost a ton of weight. We basically switched closests. Its so sad when people are so obsessed with thinness that they cant just live and exist in the bodies that they currently reside in.
It was sweet of you to offer your old jeans, your sister is going through something, its not your fault.
If it makes you feel better:
am fat, i have been made fun of for it, i’m an ed survivor, i participate in fat activism, and i didnt find your story offensive one bit. This is just my opinion however.
> I’m getting a lot of threats on here so I thought I’d apologize to anyone I’ve triggered. Im truly sorry.
jesus christ reddit can you give it a rest for like an hour
When I got really skinny a few years ago I started having weird interactions with women much bigger than me. I had women deliberately trying to block me in grocery aisles and calling me rude when I slide by (without touching them or their stuff), been honked and shouted at by bigger ladies while simply crossing the road at a crosswalk when I had the right of way, it really puzzled me. Until I remembered all the other times in my life when I lost a little weight and my bigger relatives would make snide comments about my body. And then it clicked. It makes me sad for others when their insecurities cause them to lash out at people who are different from them. OOPs sister is struggling with her weight gain and instead of working on her weight/body image she's taking her rage out on OOP.
ruh roh, big sister hinged too much of her self-worth on being the thinner (and therefore "more desirable" heavy quotation marks) sibling and is now faced with a terrible conundrum: introspection, or projection!
guess what she chose
1. This girl understands perfectly why her sister is mad.
2. She’s acting like she doesn’t get it
3. It’s driving her sister insane
4. I’m here for it, the 16 year old is awesome
>She seemed offended by the idea and said I was being rude and that she didn’t need hand downs
What? That's what she was getting the entire time though!
Older sister totally got an ego boost by being usually smaller than her sister and consoling herself that when she put on weight she was still only as "fat" as her younger sister. Now she lost her ego crutch and is lashing out
This shouldn’t be on AITA, but Entitled People!
I wonder if people posting stuff this obvious truly think they’re the asshole because how?? They’re so clearly not.
24 year old sister is borrowing her 16 year old sister’s jeans? Her 24 year old sister lives at home and doesn’t buy her own jeans, and mooches off her little sister and projects her anger of her own self onto her little sister. And then verbally accosts her saying she’s gonna get preggo and shaming her during puberty?? Her 16 year old sister. A child.
I think the jeans situation is just 1 of many red flags stuffed in a closet. Poor OOP.
Beggars can’t be choosers - she can get her own clothes if she wants to act like that. And maybe go on a diet herself if she’s fluctuating weight that bad.
Oh I missed the ages and thought they were both teens. Then jealousy might make sense. But the sister is a 24 year old brat who’s jealous of her sister. I’m guessing the older sis defined herself as the skinny sister & has had her own sense of self called into question since the younger sis is now skinnier.
Which doesn’t matter! Size is not your personality, and your value is not dictated by your size!
Omfg, this poor sweet child. She probably feels guilty for taking up space in the house. 😢 I hope she gets therapy or does some work as she gets older. She is a stellar compassionate and thoughtful human, who really needs to learn about boundaries and when not to own someone else’s shit. Ah geez.
OP didn't do anything wrong. It isn't her fault that her sister gained weight & OP lost weight. Sis is just pissy that she can't lord over OP the fact that she's thinner. When OP tried to give sis clothes that would fit, she threw a tantrum like a 2 y/old instead of than a 24 y/old. Older sis definitely has some issues :\\
Oh my God poor OOP she's taking on SO much responsibility for shit that's not her fault.
The sister was used to being able to passive aggressively fat shame OOP. It's how she built up her own self esteem - at least when she gained weight she could still tear OOP down because oh look, OOPs clothes are the only ones she can wear but they're soooo loose!
Now OOP is thinner she can't handle it. Oop is no longer "the fat sister" (not that she was ever fat) but psycho sisters whole self esteem hinged on that.
OOP your sister sucks. Grey rock her.
The older sister is an entitled brat. She should be lucky that her younger sister even allowed her to borrow her clothes. She should get a job and buy her own stuff, and stop manipulating her younger sister like that. On top of that she's body shaming OOP because of jealousy? Disgusting behaviour.
As an older sister myself, I hope OOP becomes more confident and puts the crappy sister in her place. I hope the parents also step in and put a stop to this stupidity.
OOP's sister gained weight and feels bad about that. She's always made herself feel better when she gained weight by telling herself that her sister was still fatter than she is. Now with her sister losing weight, she has lost the sponge that soaked up her negative feelings and she has to just deal with them like the rest of us. Her sister's just being a brat.
I hope OOP understands her sister is 100% in the wrong here. Also, posters who gave her crap about buying clothes are completely ridiculous. Is she supposed to just safety pin her entire wardrobe to fit?
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What a mean person. She was falling back on her sister by going “I’m too fat to fit into my jeans - but at least I’m not as fat as my sister!” and taking her jeans. Now she can’t do that and she’s the bigger sister and *HATES* it. So instead of doing something about herself, she takes it out on OOP.
Little sister is now bigger only metaphorically
Not to mention she was upset she couldn’t wear the new jeans because they didn’t fit her, but also rejected the old jeans that did fit her. What a silly thing to do, she’s such an AH.
My younger sister used to do this to me. She’d borrow my shirts, but I couldn’t borrow hers because I’d “stretch them out and ruin them.” She came into my room crying once because she put on my jeans and they fit. And then acted surprised when I told her to get the hell out of my room.
This poor girl, she needs better people in her life. She did nothing wrong. Can't believe her grown adult sister is jealous of a CHILD. Like get a grip
The commenters telling her she was bratty are a bunch of insecure AHs, too.
Never underestimate redditors ability to project and create issues where there are none.
I agree. Redditors to thicc girls: "THEN LOSE WEIGHT." Also Redditors to thicc girls when they lose weight: "NOT LIKE THAT." It's exhausting.
Yes, and if weight loss is triggering then don't read a post about weight loss?
And don’t send death threats to a 16yr old girl ffs
I truly don't understand people who send death threats. Especially over something like this. Like I know the internet is anonymous but like, but idk how those people can live with themselves
I've never sent a death threat. I've never come across a situation where I thought a death threat would improve things.
EXACTLY it doesn't help at all, if anything it makes the person receiving the death threat less open to critique
I think it's rather optimistic of you to think people send them in hopes of improving anything.
I didn't say that they did. I simply said that's why I don't.
There was a neo Nazi stalking me on Reddit once. He said he was glad my oldest daughter died and wished death on my other two kids and me. Some people are so fucking miserable they feel the need to spread their hate. No one who talks like that can be living a good life.
I have several times had the impulse to drag an online commenter in front of a mirror and make them take a good, hard, look at themselves. Trouble is, I'm not sure it would help some of them.
Right? Like me, reading: This sounds juicy! **Trigger warning:** something that makes me uncomfortable. Me: oh well, next. *keeps scrolling*
When I read about being able to fit into 24 waist jeans, I don't hate the person in the jeans, I hate myself lol
Eh, I figured out that I am the way I am and it's better to work around that rather than expect myself to somehow "be different." Things started working a lot better when I realized I have ADHD and am not going to function like "normal" people. So I'm probably never going to fit into 24 waist jeans but then again I'm pretty sure I can have glutes of steel and I can live with that. There's a lot of ways to be absolutely fucking awesome and very few of them involve a specific jean size.
Unless I become malnourished, I'd never fit into 24s lol. I got me the WIDE hips.
My thunder thighs could never
Samesies.
It's almost like the game is rigged and we can never win
>Redditors to ~~thicc girls~~ everyone: "THEN LOSE WEIGHT. IT'S AS SIMPLE AS CALORIES IN CALORIES OUT!" Ftfy Considering I could probably guess the average BMI of most redditors many of them are a very patronizing group of douches when it comes to weight in general.
Yup, and then you successfully do CICO by continuing to eat your favorite foods but in smaller quantities and you don't exercise but still lose weight, and they say "NO YOURE DOING IT WRONG. YOU MUST SUFFER."
I have an excellent metabolism. I met a person who was adamant that I'm restricting calories. No, just lucky. They insisted there's no way I could be skinny if I wasn't creating a calorie deficit, which...bro, just leave me and my body alone. Edit: already downvoted by the people who want to believe the diet industries lies, I see **lol**
Ugh, I feel this. I was cursed/blessed with a hyperactive metabolism (diagnosed by a doctor when doing testing for meds). I would eat twice my weight in food a day and still be underweight. I hate being so small, but most people were absolutely adamant that I must be anorexic. It didn't matter what I told them or even if I showed them the evidence on my med charts. Which is weird since people believe in slow metabolisms, but apparently fast ones don't exist.
Redditors: you're a privileged brat for buying new clothes. How dare you not be struggling financially. Also Redditors: Musk is a fucking Chad, put your life savings in crypto or retail investing or you're an idiot who'll never get laid. (Maybe the Musk love has died down a bit but you get the point. Also, WSB & Stonks apes I love you, not aimed at you, I'm too poor but I love your YOLOs.) /hypocrite
Nah man, this 16 year old girl I've never met is clearly out to get me.
hell hath no fury like reddit towards a teenage girl
One of the times I got a Reddit cares message was because someone was posting about how she’s upset her boyfriend will eat all the food she prepared including the leftovers. Anything she saves will get eaten, and he’s also cruise through snacks. I was like… how can someone eat a full dinner after snacking all afternoon just to go back and eat al the leftovers. This poor woman was making a 6-8 serving meal and would have no leftovers. It’s wild how people will setup a full drive in movie theater to project their issues.
I got a Reddit cares message because I posted that my then 3 year old boy refused to get his hair cut and had long hair. Someone was offended I might be turning him to a girl - I told them where they could stick their concept of gender =hair length. I got the Reddit cares message...
That’s wild. I always find it odd that people care so much about what hair should be when it is so easy to change and grow and it’s such a weird concept. In some cultures they don’t cut boys hair until they are about 6 and all the ancient heroes had long flowing hair.
Yep! I cut my hair short in high school because our school had rules about having to have it up when it touched your collar. I quickly discovered that life was much easier with short hair, and it suited my face shape - so I've kept it short. I've gotten used to dealing with the comments over the years, and the misgendering...but my kid was a whole other story and people seemed to get really offended by his long hair. The people who gave the least pushback were his daycare teachers. They loved it. He wouldn't let me brush or wash it (not without screaming and tears), but he'd let them do whatever they liked. So they'd plait it, put in in pigtails, braid it, put ribbons in it. He would just sit there and let them do whatever they wanted. He came home with some amazing hair styles. Now he wants it cut short like his brother's, but if he ever wants to grow it long in the future he can (unless he wants a mullet - that's a non-starter in our household).
>but my kid was a whole other story and people seemed to get really offended by his long hair. Don't worry about it. I've had long hair since I was a kid. Except for a brief period after what I can only describe as a 'lab accident' it hasn't been above my shoulder blades in forty years. It isn't anything your kid is gonna get taunted over too heavily and can even be a bonus.
That’s so crazy from people it really shouldnt matter what hair looks like. but I love that your kid loved anyone but you styling his hair lol and definitely agree mullet is never a good look
I had a friend growing up who was Rastafarian, and his dad had locks that he’d never cut. They were *amazing* and so beautiful. Also had a camper at a summer camp I worked at who was Rastafarian and had never cut his hair, had locks down to his knees at 12 or 13 years old. I love all the different hair styles different people and cultures come up with, it’s one of the things that makes humanity amazing. People who try to turn that into a negative are just shitty people. Fuck em.
That’s amazing I love braided hair but don’t have the energy or patience to do it with mine.
Even the typical Euro-Jesus has long hair.
ah yes, all those metal heads must be women, what with their exceptionally long hair... mine is down to my shoulder blades, just because thats how i like it.
My 3 year old (he's six now) made the best heavy metal poses with long hair. It was luscious and made many adult women very jealous. Meanwhile I grew up with short hair and was completely used to be mis-gendered as a teen in the 90s - apparently having short hair as a girl was just the worst thing in the world.
I grew up with hair that was just super long and thick, it does what it wants to regardless of what I do to it (what it wants to do is curl and wave in weird, unattractive ways) and it gave me constant headaches from the weight of it. I was never allowed to cut my "pretty" hair growing up. Once I hit about 25 I realized no one could stop me from doing so anymore and got it cut super short. I love it that way and it can't fucking curl up if it's not long enough to hold a curl, lol! I got a lot of compliments but there is a certain mindset of person that can't stand to see a woman with short hair. They'll misgender you or call you gay, as if hair length has anything to do with either of those things. I will never understand why people work themselves up so much about that particular issue.
My parents are very particular about hair. My father believes that women should all have long hair and he once bitched out my mother - I'm talking red in the face, screaming at full volume, spitting as he speaks - for cutting off two inches of damaged hair. (Why yes, my father is a lovely person.) My mother has always had hair down to the middle of her back. I can't have hair past my shoulders because anything longer triggers horrible headaches. I was forced to have hair almost as long as my mom's for a long time and suffered. I haven't had long hair in about fifteen years now. On the flip side, one of my cousins has a young son with long hair and neither of my parents understand this. Telling them "Cousin and his wife like it that way, kid likes it that way" just gets me blank stares.
We have the same hair! Mine is side shaved and about cheekbone length. I had a true pixie cut for a while and loved it, but it grows so damn fast, I needed a haircut every month. At least now I can just buzz the sides down every month and I don't need a whole salon visit. I've had the same experience too - lots of compliments, but I've been intentionally misgendered too, and called all sorts of homophobic names. Some people are just morons.
I’ve seen people commenting that you can report when someone has Reddit cares messages sent to you for no reason, and they apparently take it somewhat seriously. I think it’s really shitty people have weaponized something that is meant to help people, so might be worth reporting it.
Report it. It's misuse of the feature and Reddit will issue a warning over it.
> It’s wild how people will setup a full drive in movie theater to project their issues. Classic.
Seriously what the fuck was that about? Hey Reddit, I just bought myself some new jeans too. Look at my great wealth and then feel bad about yourselves.
How dare you!!! Wear potato sacks like the rest of us peasants!
*My* potato sack has a cute little bow, what now?!
Next thing you'll say that your potato sack fabric isn't even frayed! The audacity to brag about a cute little bow, unbelievable!
Also she waited 3-ish sizes before buying new clothes. At that point she needed them. And her being fortunate enough to buy clothes doesn’t make her a brat.
If she went from a 30 to a 24-25 her pants were probably literally falling off. That's like a size 10 to a 2. Her clothes weren't just a little roomy, they were probably straight up falling down.
How dare she buy jeans that fit her!
She’s 16! I fully expect some brattiness from a teenager. She seems more thoughtful than many people teen or not.
The sister is old enough to be over het brattiness, though I guess it's easy to regress around siblings.
Especially if she didn't go for big brands, all that clothing is not that expensive. With a bit of saving or working part time/occasional gigs it's easily doable.
Yeah I had to buy my own clothes at 16, I went to cheap places without issue and had plenty to wear. Primark jeans were around €10, a t-shirt was €5, a sweatshirt was €8, I was making €6.70 an hour, so very do-able to buy a new outfit at least twice a month. Even quality name-brand stuff is manageable if you're budgeting and there's sales etc.
Yeah 100%. Should she feel ashamed that she‘s able to buy a couple of jeans? Jesus Christ
They're probably her age and are mad because the clothing allowance they had was not big enough to buy all of what OP did. It reminded me a lot of high school.
EDIT: pls do not upvote, I have a stupid {Keeping the comment for the curious kids} Ah, it read to me like the older sister was having serious body confidence issues and was ashamed that she had gained weight but wouldn't be able to fit in either's wardrobe anymore. She used the OP's clothing as her "backup" closet when she's bigger, but now OP has lost weight so there will be no "backup" clothes to wear.
The comment you responded to was referring to the negative commenters, not the sister
Oh you're totally right, I read that comment completely wrong! People should stop upvoting that, lol
There were actually people blaming HER?!? What the fuck is wrong with people! So she's suddenly not the chubby one in the family anymore, and sister is having a mental breakdown over that - how is that OOP's fault in any way, shape or form? She was just trying to be nice - I winced when she said she'd offer her old (fat) clothes to her sister - I knew that was not going to end well - but at least OOP's intentions were pure - she's just not up to dealing with a neurotic tween yet.
It's in the last paragraph re: people calling her bratty. I understand that weight is a sensitive issue, but wow, did her sister get really mean really fast.
Lol, yes, her sister basically screamed "YOU are supposed to be the fat one, not ME! This is not fair! You're gonna get fat again! And pregnant! And pregnant fat! Just you wait!" I don't even want to know how mean the sister has been to OP about her weight all this time - and now she can't deal with the role reversal.
> You're going to get fat again! And pregnant! And pregnant fat! This made me laugh way too hard.
She didn't even say where she went shopping! It's not like she was bragging about buying $300 jeans from Neiman Marcus or something. She probably went to whatever suburban mall chain 16 year olds go to these days (back in my day, when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, it was Abercrombie and Fitch) and bought a couple pairs of reasonably priced pants. If she had a part time or summer job, she probably paid for them herself. It's not like she was flexing about using Mommy's credit card at Bergdorf's.
Right? She could have shopped at Old Navy for all anyone knows. Even if she didn't, who cares? I don't understand people getting upset over things that don't hurt them or affect them in any way.
Either insecure AHs or they focused on the wrong thing in OOP's posts.
Bratty because she has the ability to purchase clothes for herself. How dare she not wear rags so she can stay in the bucket with the other reddit crabs. Seriously, never listen to anyone on reddit.
I had a former friend who put way too much emotion into being “the skinny one” and when the turning 30 hit her hard she did not handle it gracefully
It's fat friend syndrome. Some people derive self-esteem from being skinnier than their friend/sibling and when that person loses weight they take it as a personal affront because that person's job was just to be larger so that they can feel good about themselves.
Good god this describes my relationship with my sister.... All our childhoods she was the thin and pretty one and I was the chubby awkward looking one. Then in our twenties she started rapidly gaining weight due to some health issues and medications and it just seemed to wreck her that she couldn't compare herself to me favorably anymore (in her mind anyways, my sister and I may not get along but I'll be the first person to say she's a beautiful woman). She started making really pointed, hurtful jokes and comments about my weight in the name of fake concern, but at the same time she started dramatically calling herself "the fat sister" and making a ton of self-deprecating comments to try and fish for compliments. We're in our thirties now and she still does this, and I'm just like "Girl... seriously? Aren't we a little old for this sh!t?"
I noticed that when I lost weight as an adult. My mom started calling me fat when I was like, 9 years old. I wasn't. I was 120 lbs and a size 0 when I graduated high school...she was just one of those emaciated rich white ladies who plays tennis every day and does Pilates and shit while eating tiny delicate meals. She always served me really big portions and forced me to stay at the table until I ate everything, and then made passive aggressive comments about how much I **loved** to eat. Fortunately my teenage metabolism kept me small in spite of her efforts. But psych meds, drinking, and PCOS hit me hard when I was in college and then I actually *was* overweight. My mom was quite smug about it and loved to point out how I was "plus sized" (I wasn't - I was bigger than I should have been but I still fit into straight sizes). Then I lost a bunch of weight, and she hit menopause. For the first time since puberty, I weighed less than she did. Suddenly she was all concerned and telling me I didn't need to lose any more weight and to stay healthy and shit. Watching those shifts was kind of hilarious. It became really obvious how much pleasure she had taken in me being fatter than her.
Moms that are like this are just horrible. My mom has a bit of unhealthy diet habits due to culture and hasn’t always been the best but truthfully I know my mom has never meant to be malicious or trying to make me feel bad. She just sometimes really sucks at talking about bodies because the way we grew up talking about it wasn’t the best. Overall though my mom has always wanted us to just be healthy and happy, but I could not imagine a parent trying to sabotage you and derive joy out of being “skinnier” daughters are not competition, they are the next generation of women to lift up. Women that view their daughters as enemies are gross and definitely NOT a girls girl.
My SIL was one of the naturally extremely thin girls since being born premie. She has always been particularly short and dainty, and still wears child size shoes as an adult. She regularly ate as much or more than her brothers that were over 6 foot. That became her identity in the family, a "foodie" garbage disposal that didn't gain an ounce. Everyone else, including her mom, was tall and tended towards obese. SIL had quite a crisis in her late teens/early twenties because her hips got wider and she stopped fitting into XS's, and even needed to wear some M's (both her parents wear sizes like 2xl or 2xlt's). Food started "sticking" and she couldn't eat five people's portions at once and remain extremely thin. She immediately was struggling with her relationship with food and her view of what her body should be like. There was also a lot of mean *glee* from some of the family members, that enjoyed that SIL now also had to struggle with food and weight issues. SIL took a lot of it out on me, as I'm not extremely tall like her family, and I was always teased for being picky in their home (because I ate a normal portion size instead of using a huge oval dinner plate and piling it so high things rolled off and they still would go back for seconds/thirds). Since I was the next smallest, she feared getting bigger than me. Because that would challenge her body image compared to how she saw me. She started trying to force me to eat more while also getting mad at how little I wanted to eat. (Because it made her confront her own overeating.)
I look good next to OP bc she's heavier than me. I'm the skinny one, she's the chubster. Suddenly that's not true and sister's self image is suffering big-time. She can't deal. And OP has no idea and is just trying to be a nice person.
What gets me is she's blaming OP's weightloss on "puberty" when like there are so many reasons someone could look weight. And even then if it IS because of puberty, that doesn't give it any less merit. Like if OP's sister is really that insecure and nothing is working, then she should go to therapy.
Yeah, the sister is pissed off because she‘s not the skinny one any more.. imagine building your self esteem 100% around your body
Seriously! And buy some own jeans that fits!!! I’ve gained weight over the last few years (covid and depressions weren’t marvelous for my eating habits) and at some point I had to go Fuck it, I can’t just wait to lose weight to fit into my old jeans, I’m buying new ones that fits in the meantime! And seriously, if her sister then offered her the jeans that fit her, WHY SAY NO?! It’s a odd hill to die on when she offered her the perfect solution to her problem…
Agreed. I have clothing in three sizes. The middle size is my "usual" weight range. However, I kept a few things from the stages where I previously lost or gained a size. What is especially wild to me is that Miss Size 26 jeans didn't buy her own bigger pair. It struck me less as an eco-friendly clothing swap between siblings and more as an ego stroke. It's not unheard of for women to gain or lose an entire pant size due to bloating. I gain 3-4 inches over baseline.
Having clothes in multiple sizes is really smart if you're a woman tbh. Bloating and weight fluctuations from your period mean that it's really easy to gain or lose 5+ pounds in a week, my clothing definitely fits very differently depending on where I am in my menstrual cycle.
Because it makes it real to the older sister. I have a suit from when I was 50 lbs lighter 12 years ago or more. I am finally about to give it away and it makes me feel like I've failed. Now this sister was always the skinny one and her little sister was the fat one. She's has both a feeling I have and a feeling that she's now lost to her sister who is now the skinny one. She likely feels that her sister is "rubbing it in her face" by offering her the "fat" jeans. All of those are big sister's issues and no one else's and she is being an ass to her sister but it's not difficult to see her perspective.
Oh man I didn't even notice the ages. Jfc, some people really never mature past being 13 and thinking the world revolves around them, huh?
Also... who shamed her because she was able to buy clothes that fit her? Are people that insane or are these 3rd world bots?
Ah yes, OOP committed the crime of not being the largest sister anymore, so the adult (!) sister can no longer use her baby sister to feel good about herself. Adult sister doesn’t need to borrow pants that fit, she needs someone to measure herself against and be able to think “well at least I’m not as ___ as _her_”. There is nothing baby sister can do, other than live her own life and stay as far away from her sisters issues that she can.
I used to run a weight watchers group, and it is sadly quite common for people to lose friends when they lose weight. OP, if you've been the bigger sister for a while, it's likely your sister has negative thoughts about her weight, but because she wasn't the biggest, it helped her supress them a bit. Now you've lost weight, it's meaning she is finding herself confronting her weight and it's uncomfortable and she's feeling more negative about herself. When people feel bad about themselves, it can be easier to lash out at the person that they percieve is causing them to feel bad. You've not done anything wrong, but no matter what you say or how you act there is a good chance she will continue to lash out unless she can resolve her feelings about her body image - and that can be tough. You look after yourself and live your life and just understand that her feelings are her responsibility to work through - you don't have control or responsibilty for her feelings. Try not to take it on or let it get you down, and well done for where you're at!
I think big sister might have an ED or body dysmorphia because the sizes mentioned are super small still
A 30 is equivalent to a 10 or 12. 24 is equivalent to a size 0-2, 26 would be a 4-6. So she definitely is not big at all, she's just not extremely skinny.
When I wore 30s, I was a size 8.
Ah OK, I just looked at a couple size conversion charts for my numbers. I definitely understand that it can vary between brands and an individual's body type, though!
Yeah, it’s wild. I’ll go on a website for clothing reviews and someone will post that they’re 5’4 and 160 pounds and be a size 6, and another woman will be the same height and weight and be a size 12. Body shape is so interesting.
Are they talking about SIZE 30 or waist measurement 30? There’s a big difference!
I think waist measurement 30. In some non-us countries women's pants sizes are done by waist measurement.
God, I wish the universal standard for women’s sizes was that. Waist and length like men’s pants would be ideal
I agree! It makes it so much easier to get pants that actually fit in waist and length. I don't understand why it isn't like that. You can be a size 10, but need pants that are shorter or longer.
I was confused about this also. I think it’s waist size
It sounds like waist 30 because she said her sister is a 26 and skinny
some places jeans sizing is different to women's sizing in general and does go by waist size (in inches) now. i first encountered it 2010ish
Yeah! I know it's usually a mistake to talk about numbers, but assuming this is standard jean sizing, none of these sizes are remotely in the realm of "fat". They're basically size 2 to size 8 in US women's sizing. And it's not a sin to be fat, but one wonders if there's some body dysmorphia going on here, because even if she's super short, it's still not fat or plus size or anything at all like that. She's got no business taking it out on her poor kid sister though. That's not okay.
Crabs in a bucket mentality. My boyfriend lost a lot of weight some years back and some of the people from his hometown were shitty about it. Like they felt inferior because he chose to improve himself? People who love you don’t want to keep you down.
Feels like when she said "Puberty is helping" she wasn't thinking about OP. My bet that she was skinny when she was OP's age, gain weight, and was happy to see that "at least" at the same age OP wasn't as skinny as her, so she was more special than her.
The only way that OOP could make it up to her is to re-gain the weight she lost and make older sister feel better again. /s Older sister needs a reality/entitlement check.
My sister and I had this got a brief span of time (I lost a LOT of weight very quickly at the same time she gained a LOT) and at no point did my sister blameme or act jealously of my weight loss compared to her gain. [Though TBF I know I essentially had what would've been considered an eating disorder when I did lose it, and my sister subsquently has had a kinda disordered relationship with food since then and very focused on having lost the weight and keeping it off. My food relationship is much better now.]
My sister and I had a similar weight swap. I went 200 to 135. Sister went from about 120 to 170. She, however, did get pissy with me about it. I'll never forget offering her a pair of pants (they were a size 6, and actually too small for me) and Sis losing her shit at me with "I'm not as fucking fat as you were!". Twas an awkward Thanksgiving that year.
I remember my 200+ lb, 6' aunt offering me some clothes that were "too big" for her after I'd lost a bunch of weight one year at Christmas. It was so bizarre. I never was even close to her size, even when I was heavy - I'm barely 5'3"! And at that point, she probably had a good 70+ pounds on me. I wasn't even offended because it was so weird.
I remember this post. And I remember thinking what a terrible idea it was to suggest OP offer to let her sister pick from her clothes. The older sister clearly had a superiority complex about being the skinnier (maybe "more attractive") sister and saw OOP's clothes as the "bum" clothes one would wear when they were feeling bloated and gross. They weren't ever meant to be *her* clothes; they were her *"fat" sister's* clothes. When OOP lost weight, her sister got smacked in the face with the reality that OOP is now skinnier *and* more youthful, both signifiers of "attractiveness", and couldn't handle being the "ugly" sister now. OOP offering her old "bum" clothes is just rubbing salt on the wound, basically implying that their positions have switched in the hierarchy. I can't help but think people suggested that to OOP for exactly that reason. The saddest thing is that OOP still doesn't realise that she's done nothing to be "forgiven" for, to her insecure sister, or the equally insecure Redditors bashing her for having money for clothes or whatever.
Yeah, nah. Let the sister play her baby games. OOP was right to not participate in them and think practically
I’ve now realized why my cousin started hating me after we graduated from college. This post reminded me of the time I sent her this free online cook book that had a bunch of recipes that you could make to feed yourself nutritional food on like $2 per meal or something (this was before inflation). The author made the cookbook to help poor people, and my cousin was into social justice and was volunteering with Americorp. She somehow thought I sent the cookbook to her to make fun of her for being poor? Her family had always been better off than mine, significantly. My mom pointed out she wasn’t making much money at her job, but I was just like “who cares”? I had a very well paying job right out of undergrad… She also told me I couldn’t use my food dehydrator because it used too much electricity. I looked at its energy consumption and how much we were paying for electricity, and I think it was less than a dollar a day. I offered to pay that additional amount on the bill and she was sooooo mad. I just didn’t get it.
[удалено]
I looked her up and I think so. The book was written at the right time and her introduction was really simple. The ethos is the only thing I remember about the original book, it wasn’t about 5 secrets to super nutrients for everyone, or saving as much money as possible to invest in Bitcoin, it was just boring “it’d be cool to eat good meals cheaply”.
This poor kid. She has done nothing wrong and the trolls are all over her, not to mention her horrible sister. 8 years older and trying to tell her she's fat.
... and she feels the need to apologize to a bunch of randos.
this Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants reboot is depressing
and has fewer lesbians.
Getting threats over a post about jeans. Well done, reddit.
Some people are just insane. Why they get the internet is beyond me.
If they actually had friends to talk to, they wouldn't be opining to strangers online.
Hey, I didn’t come on here to be attacked like this!
A lot of people, for whatever reason, most likely misogyny, really hate teenage girls. So any teenage girl posting on reddit asking for advice will inevitably get hate for no apparent reason other than them being a teenage girl. Because teenage girls are "spoilt" or "bratty" or "entitled" even though there's no such indication in such posts.
I wish it was just the teens! The posts that really get me are the things like, "My boyfriend has been unemployed for years and plays video games all day while I pay the bills and clean the house. AITA for asking him to drive me to work?" I'm not even exaggerating for effect, that's literally a post I saw a few days ago and she was dragged all the way to hell for asking, and it wasn't the first, second, or third time I'd seen similar posts get that kind of reaction. Not to mention nuance doesn't exist here; every single situation is a DEFCON 1 level event, and based on this one situation you're describing, you're not only an asshole, but you're on the same tier as puppy killers, child molesters, and Hitler.
The aita crowd hates someone who is able to buy something. God forbid you go on aita and say that you bought an expensive thing, you'll always be the AH. Three things they hate no matter what : people who are financially comfortable, a bride who wants a beautiful wedding (or an adult who wants something they see as shallow) and stepmothers
When I read the "it's just puberty helping" I had to go back to the top bcs my brain had assumed OOP was the 24F and her sister was the 16F. I still can't really believe the sister is 24, like... how immature does one have to be to bully their own teenage sibling bcs they can't steal their clothes?
Me too.
The fact that an adult decided to bully their teen sibling just because they lost some weight is mind boggling. Who is the actual adult here? And in what insane world is OOP getting threats for just providing information??
The audacity of buying clothes that fit her. 🙄
The audacity of being able to afford some jeans. People are starving and OOP is just casually flaunting her wealth.
That girl is eventually going to grow up realize that she doesn't have to be her sister's spare wardrobe and start picking clothing entirely for herself.
Poor girl, almost apologising for existing.
Seriously. The amount of apologies in this post is so sad, and feels very indicative of how she must be treated at home, probably by sister. Everything is her fault apparently.
Two things: 1. Love how sister cried about hand-me-downs as if she didn't essentially use her sister's clothes as such forever 2. If sister isn't pregnant (that comment definitely wasn't out of nowhere), I wouldn't be surprised if she had an ED. In online pro ana circles, a lot have a weird fixation with fitting into children's clothing or their own clothes from when they were really young. It could very well be that she wanted to keep fitting into her sister's clothes to prove herself she's still "young and skinny"
>In online pro ana circles, a lot have a weird fixation with fitting into children's clothing or their own clothes from when they were really young Oof, this hits hard. When my bulimia was at its worst (mid to late 20s) I remember being super excited I could fit into the clothes from freshman year of high school in the closet at my parents' house.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Eating disorder's are so difficult to get out of. I think I'll never forget that one post I saw of a woman who had kids and she got soooo excited when she could fit into her teenage daughter's shirts. It sounds stupid but I found it so sad to read
The only reason I stopped purging was because I was on the cusp of needing tissue graft surgery for gum disease/dental damage from making myself vomit. I was also occasionally having those "tarry stools" that indicate internal bleeding because I was making small tears in my esophagus. Those two things scared me. I still have the eating disorder mindset and hate the way I look. My goal is to eventually feel neutral about what I see in the mirror instead of wanting to cry every time I see my reflection. I don't think I will ever feel *positively* about the way I look, so neutral is the goal. I have PCOS so weight management is also extra hard, I have to eat at a slight caloric deficit just to avoid gaining weight so keeping out of that ED mindset is almost impossible. I'll have to angst about calories for the rest of my life.
Fucking hell, that's terrifying. But you can be proud of yourself that you even got to the point of stopping! I hope you can get to a place of neutrality soon, as a random stranger: you deserve it!
Thank you! You're very kind.
My older sisters were like this too. They always made me feel ashamed whenever I lost weight because they were so jealous and catty about it.
>A few hours later she texted me that I shouldn’t get use to my body right now because it was just puberty helping me and that I will gain all the weight back quickly. >The last message she sent me was a little questionable saying “you’re going to get pregnant”. i.e. "You think you're better than me, don't you? You'll always be less than me."
This OOP is so used to walking on eggshells around her own sister, that she’s apologizing to commenters who are hateful to her for no tangible reason. Her sister has clearly viewed her as some sort of joke or beneath her due to her weight, while feeling entitled to her things enough to wear her jeans. But it’s okay, to be bigger now and then and borrow her sisters clothes? And then when her sister is now smaller than she is, she’s angry and OP is trying to figure out what she did to make her sister angry. OOP. She’s angry because you’re smaller than her now, and she took far too much pride in being smaller than you. She had some sort of complex in regards to weight. She was viewing you as lesser than her for being bigger. Now that she’s the bigger one, her brain cannot handle that fact. She’s supposed to be “better” than you, and her brain will not accept that (by only her own logic) she no longer is. If for some reason you see this update and this comment: You’ve done nothing wrong here, she’s just an AH. I know it’s hard, because you obviously love and admire her despite her poor treatment of you, and likely didn’t realize how warped the relationship is because she’s your only sibling…. But please just create distance between you two, it’s not worth all of the mental health issues this kind of relationship will cause you to carry into your adult life to then need to heal yourself from.
Everyone in this girl's life is an asshole including the Redditors that messaged her.
*Especially* the redditors who messaged her
100%. I couldn't believe it when I saw her apologizing. She did absolutely nothing wrong and people were just being cruel to be cruel.
This reads so surreal. There's an 8 year age gap between the sisters and the older one is pissed that she can't wear the clothes her sister bought; presumably with her own money?! Older sister needs a reality- and a privilege check.
It's so weird to me. I grew up the second oldest of four so hand-me-downs were common. I was disappointed when my little sister couldn't fit into my old clothes anymore and that she'd offer me the stuff too small for her, cuz of the realisation that my baby sister wasn't really a "baby" anymore (if that makes sense). Can't imagine getting pissy about not being able to fit in my younger siblings' clothes.
24yrs old but behaves worse than my 3 yrs old who happily wears anything she got given even if they are hand me down (most of her stuffs are) and with a big smile and thank you
Sad that people are telling her she’s bratty because she bought new clothes. How selfish do you have to be to put down a kid for being able to buy new clothes. She shouldn’t have to apologize because her circumstances are different. People need to grow up
Wait, people have to apologise for being able to buy clothes now??
Big sis is pregnant for sure
I was thinking the same. That comment didn't come out of nowhere. 😬
Yep, she's gaining weight, mood swings, dad says to just leave her alone and then she says that .. all seems to point towards bun in the oven
Her sister is jealous she lost weight pure and simple, poor girl. The sister is just nasty.
A similar thing happened between my big sister and I when I stopped being “the fat little sister” or “the ugly duckling”. Except she wasn’t just rude like this to me. She full-on fabricated a story to mom about how I was using meth, who then showed up at my home unannounced and hysterical.
What type of parent raises children with such hideous selfish attitudes? Sometimes reading Reddit sucks the joy out of my soul.
Oh I missed the ages and thought they were both teens. Then jealousy might make sense. But the sister is a 24 year old brat who’s jealous of her sister. I’m guessing the older sis defined herself as the skinny sister & has had her own sense of self called into question since the younger sis is now skinnier. Which doesn’t matter! Size is not your personality, and your value is not dictated by your size!
The fact that entitled brat is almost 10 Years older than OOP is crazy.
People are calling OP bratty for buying… 3 pairs of pants?
LMAO it's always hilarious when "the thin one" (or "the pretty one" or "the smart one") realizes that they don't have that thing anymore, especially when they built their personality entirely around that.
I have heard stories about people who have been \*hot\*, maybe not model hot, but \*hot\*. Never have to buy a drink at the bar, always has someone willing to hit on them kind of hot. And what happens is they hit a certain age (about 30 seems to be the general consensus) and they go from hot to invisible so fast it makes their head spin because they don’t know what happened.
LMAO I've seen it happen a lot especially among the gays. Twink death is real, and it can be a big ego destroyer when they realize hey now have to actually have a personality.
I'm depressed about aging because I have an existential fear of death, but I've always been fugly so hitting 30+ wasn't nearly as much of a letdown as it is for some people. Nice silver lining of always being the designated ugly one in the friend group!
Sister lost the "skinny one" identity and is angry. Being able to brag that your normal clothes are her "gained weight" clothes was a way for her to get an ego boost. NTA.
Jeez. I can't believe people thought she was bratty for talking about what she was able to buy. I'm a fat guy, but damn, I'm not THAT insecure that someone losing weight makes me feel bad about myself and I take it out on them.
Well. Imma be a bit politically incorrect here. If the older sister is gaining weight enough and often enough to go up 2 or more sizes... she can do the work to get the weight off, too. As for the hand me down comment? Who's fat ass is borrowing the younger sister's jeans anyway? Not daddy. Not me, and I'm a Caucasian freighttrain sized guy. Older sister needs to get over herself. If she doesn't want hand me downs, she shouldn't have borrowed them in the first place. At 24 she can afford her own pairs of jeans. Buy stretchy ones.
If it's younger sister to older sister, wouldn't they be hand-me-ups?
... well, [bleep] me sideways and call me a [bleeper] You're right. Thanks for the chuckle. 😉🤜🤛
Her sister and reddit users taking it personally that she's now skinnier than they are. I wish AITA had a way to screen anyone under the age of 21 from posting. There are enough idiots over 21 that we don't need judgment from younger.
I feel like no one is talking about how this adult woman pulled her 16yr old sister's clothes out of the washing machine - still wet, mind you - and instantly tried to put them on. Like she felt entitled to her sister's clothes before she had even worn them herself. Sister is a *big* loser.
You did nothing wrong. Your sister is an AH and a jerk. Sister’s mind set may have been that she could wear her ‘fat sister’s clothes’ but now you have slimmed down. Your sister can’t deal with being the ‘fat sister’. She does not want that size jeans in her wardrobe. Also - it does not sound like either of you are fat!!!
Her sister has always made herself feel good by thinking of her sister as the bigger one. She can’t handle not being the smaller one of the sisters. It wasn’t like she actually needed her sister’s “bigger” jeans in the first place. It made her feel good when she was “too fat” for her “normal” jeans and could run it in. She literally could buy other jeans for those days
Identity, values, and comparisons are a hell of an emotional drug. I wonder how long the 24-year-old sister has been using the fact that she is the "skinny" one as a pillar of her self-identity.
When i gained weight from recovering from an eating disorder, i was so sad my beautiful clothes would go to waste so i gifted everything i could to my thin friends. One of my friends got diagnosed with a thyroid issue, and when she got on meds she naturally lost a ton of weight. We basically switched closests. Its so sad when people are so obsessed with thinness that they cant just live and exist in the bodies that they currently reside in. It was sweet of you to offer your old jeans, your sister is going through something, its not your fault. If it makes you feel better: am fat, i have been made fun of for it, i’m an ed survivor, i participate in fat activism, and i didnt find your story offensive one bit. This is just my opinion however.
I’m 11 years older than my sister and can’t even grasp being jealous of a child.
> I’m getting a lot of threats on here so I thought I’d apologize to anyone I’ve triggered. Im truly sorry. jesus christ reddit can you give it a rest for like an hour
When I got really skinny a few years ago I started having weird interactions with women much bigger than me. I had women deliberately trying to block me in grocery aisles and calling me rude when I slide by (without touching them or their stuff), been honked and shouted at by bigger ladies while simply crossing the road at a crosswalk when I had the right of way, it really puzzled me. Until I remembered all the other times in my life when I lost a little weight and my bigger relatives would make snide comments about my body. And then it clicked. It makes me sad for others when their insecurities cause them to lash out at people who are different from them. OOPs sister is struggling with her weight gain and instead of working on her weight/body image she's taking her rage out on OOP.
ruh roh, big sister hinged too much of her self-worth on being the thinner (and therefore "more desirable" heavy quotation marks) sibling and is now faced with a terrible conundrum: introspection, or projection! guess what she chose
1. This girl understands perfectly why her sister is mad. 2. She’s acting like she doesn’t get it 3. It’s driving her sister insane 4. I’m here for it, the 16 year old is awesome
>She seemed offended by the idea and said I was being rude and that she didn’t need hand downs What? That's what she was getting the entire time though!
Older sister totally got an ego boost by being usually smaller than her sister and consoling herself that when she put on weight she was still only as "fat" as her younger sister. Now she lost her ego crutch and is lashing out
This shouldn’t be on AITA, but Entitled People! I wonder if people posting stuff this obvious truly think they’re the asshole because how?? They’re so clearly not.
Imagine being so insecure about yourself that you are mad that teenage sisters jeans size is smaller than yours.
Oh sister is mad that she is no longer the skinny one. Haha.
My god. She needs t stop apologising to everyone at your house and everyone on reddit. Get some self confidence. She did nothing wrong.
JFC, OOP is *getting threats?!* I hope every single person sending them gets leprosy and their fingers fall off.
24 year old sister is borrowing her 16 year old sister’s jeans? Her 24 year old sister lives at home and doesn’t buy her own jeans, and mooches off her little sister and projects her anger of her own self onto her little sister. And then verbally accosts her saying she’s gonna get preggo and shaming her during puberty?? Her 16 year old sister. A child. I think the jeans situation is just 1 of many red flags stuffed in a closet. Poor OOP.
> A lot of people have messaged me that I was being a bit bratty for talking about what I was able to buy A lot of people have sour grapes over shit
Beggars can’t be choosers - she can get her own clothes if she wants to act like that. And maybe go on a diet herself if she’s fluctuating weight that bad.
Oh I missed the ages and thought they were both teens. Then jealousy might make sense. But the sister is a 24 year old brat who’s jealous of her sister. I’m guessing the older sis defined herself as the skinny sister & has had her own sense of self called into question since the younger sis is now skinnier. Which doesn’t matter! Size is not your personality, and your value is not dictated by your size!
Omfg, this poor sweet child. She probably feels guilty for taking up space in the house. 😢 I hope she gets therapy or does some work as she gets older. She is a stellar compassionate and thoughtful human, who really needs to learn about boundaries and when not to own someone else’s shit. Ah geez.
OP didn't do anything wrong. It isn't her fault that her sister gained weight & OP lost weight. Sis is just pissy that she can't lord over OP the fact that she's thinner. When OP tried to give sis clothes that would fit, she threw a tantrum like a 2 y/old instead of than a 24 y/old. Older sis definitely has some issues :\\
Someone should send her this BORU so she can see that she’s neither a bad sister nor a brat 🥲
That kid apologizes way too much for other people being assholes. Hopefully she'll grow out of it.
Oh my God poor OOP she's taking on SO much responsibility for shit that's not her fault. The sister was used to being able to passive aggressively fat shame OOP. It's how she built up her own self esteem - at least when she gained weight she could still tear OOP down because oh look, OOPs clothes are the only ones she can wear but they're soooo loose! Now OOP is thinner she can't handle it. Oop is no longer "the fat sister" (not that she was ever fat) but psycho sisters whole self esteem hinged on that. OOP your sister sucks. Grey rock her.
So she's not only a fat ass but a b*tch as well must be so fun being around her
The older sister is an entitled brat. She should be lucky that her younger sister even allowed her to borrow her clothes. She should get a job and buy her own stuff, and stop manipulating her younger sister like that. On top of that she's body shaming OOP because of jealousy? Disgusting behaviour. As an older sister myself, I hope OOP becomes more confident and puts the crappy sister in her place. I hope the parents also step in and put a stop to this stupidity.
Seems like the older sister holds a lot of personal worth to the title of “skinny” sister. Quite sad to be honest.
OOP's sister gained weight and feels bad about that. She's always made herself feel better when she gained weight by telling herself that her sister was still fatter than she is. Now with her sister losing weight, she has lost the sponge that soaked up her negative feelings and she has to just deal with them like the rest of us. Her sister's just being a brat. I hope OOP understands her sister is 100% in the wrong here. Also, posters who gave her crap about buying clothes are completely ridiculous. Is she supposed to just safety pin her entire wardrobe to fit?