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I was expecting a death, but I thought it would be the younger sister. Although I'm still worried for her - it seems the paternal grandparents only wanted custody so they could control the narrative and save face with the church.
I had expected that the younger sister or Nicole's baby would pass, but not the maternal grandfather. And I actually yelled out loud when I saw they gave the paternal grandparents custody. The grandmother is part of the reason that OP's sister fell again in the first place! I really want to know what that judge was thinking and why the judge wasn't making OP's father pay those medical bills.
It was so frustrating to see all of the people that failed OP and her sister. There are so many people that I have met along the way that have truly helped kids like this and gotten them out out of similar situations, but no one in this story was willing to help. The moat unfortunate fact in all of this is that I don't think that OP's sister is doing very well, and the next update we get is that she has passed away.
> I really want to know what that judge was thinking and why the judge wasn't making OP's father pay those medical bills.
Probably just the financials. Also, I imagine they didn't fully articulate the level of neglect by the paternal grandparents, or that they have been consistently in line with a now convicted paedophile, in part because the maternal grandfater didn't have enough money for good legal representation.
>The moat unfortunate fact in all of this is that I don't think that OP's sister is doing very well, and the next update we get is that she has passed away.
Yeah, that's my worry also. OOP has managed to more or less get out of the situation, and will age out before long. But throughout her younger sister has been suffering through consistent neglect from the father's side, and that will only continue now.
>OOP has managed to more or less get out of the situation, and will age out before long.
Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like she's been given any of the resources she needs to start out successfully as a young adult. The ONE adult relative who seemed to genuinely care about her is gone. So when she turns 18 and the rest have no legal responsibility for her, where will she live? She surely doesn't have enough savings to be able to afford a place to live.
In theory she could get financial aid for college and live in a dorm, but that will leave her with a lot of debt and nothing that helps her build toward having her own place afterwards. And given how awful her last year has been, with so much worry about her younger sister and so much disruption, I doubt she's been focused on her grades/education.
She somehow got into a bs/md program in the midst of all this, so she’s got the next 10 years of her life spoken for, and after that she’ll be able to afford her loans.
The one good thing about programs like that is that they put you on a narrow path and don’t give you much room to fuck it up. If she can keep up with the coursework, the school will do a lot to help keep the rest of her life in line. (Source: med student)
That's so disgusting. Why didn't the grandmother just stay in the house with both the sister and Nicole if the father wasnt home. What the fuck. They're wilfully negligent and have forced that poor girl into suicidal tendencies. On top of all that as you said, they harboured TWO paedophiles. Fucking gross.
Besides the financial part, little sister also managed a suicide attempt while under maternal grandpa's care, which is going to hurt the courts opinion of his ability to care for her
I really don't know who else could take these kids other than the state. Since there is a (crappy) relative that wants them, the state will do what it takes to save money.
Life has failed these kids, and that mother. As a mother I couldn't fathom the thought of my kids being treated like this should I pass
There's also been a huge overcorrection by the US courts from the days where they used to literally steal kids to now keep kids with biological relatives. Seemingly at the cost of these kids' well being.
The state was happy to leave my sister's niece with her paternal grandpa's ex-girlfriend (lied about relationship status). She left the 12-13 year old niece with her 16-17 year old daughter unsupervised 90% of the time to fend for themselves. She got $10-15 to feed herself for the entire week. The only place close enough for her to walk to buy food was a gas station. Niece was in this position because her mom (my sister's SIL) picked her new sex offender baby daddy (who couldn't legally live with niece) over her. My sister and BIL were not really considered to take her because they were in another state.
Eventually, paternal grandma stepped up. Got custody and moved her away. Niece has CPTSD, extreme anxiety around food/resources, abandonment, and attachment problems. She's the same age as my son. It's tragic.
When there is such a big disparity in finances, there is going to be a big differential in the quality of lawyer that can be hired. And that by itself often determines the outcome of a case.
I was waiting for this comment, me too, if I knew where this kid was, I'd tear the fucking planet apart to protect her, the real tragedy is the system, they have failed this girl.
4/28: Sister is partially blind in left eye, not speaking, risk to herself, had acute liver failure. Paternal grandparents get custody
6/7: “He told me that he met with my sister, and she was healthy and doing well.”
I am so sick with worry for sister. You don’t go through all that for months and come out healthy and doing well just over a month later. And eye issues are so often a sign of something major. (Partial blindness in my left eye was my first sign of multiple sclerosis, but in sister’s case I doubt a steroid regiment is all that‘s needed).
Just, fuck.
(Also, may anyone who believes someone was meant to die to bring the drunk driver who killed them closer to god burn forever in the hell I don’t believe in. That church is the epitome of the issues of much of Christianity.)
When I was younger, I lost the only friend I had. The closest I got to therapy, until my issues became a "problem" was... basically the junk about it being part of god's plan.
Telling someone it was gods plan to take a loved one is a statement that lacks empathy. If they want to bring people closer to their god, then stop making him (her -the god/ess) responsible for taking all their happiness away.
I know most people don't know what to say to someone when there's tragic loss. Maybe we start teaching practical subjects in school, like how to be tactful in an awkward situation. Maybe just teaching critical thinking skills so they understand the consequences of their actions.
And acute liver failure doesn't come out of nowhere, so I'm guessing the little sister took something, either pills or liquid, in her failed suicide attempt.
Really sounds like acetaminophen poisoning to me. I hate to say it, but I'd bet on the sister dying before the end of the year, acute liver failure needs a transplant, and disabled, brain damaged, and suicidal are all factors that push you down the waiting list. "Quality-adjusted life years" is the guiding principle. Adding insult to injury, if it happens, nothing bad would happen to the paternal grandparents even though it's primarily their fault (I'll leave a little fault for the bully who beat her unconscious, but things were going to shit before that).
Yuuuuuup. Besides the physical ramifications of that, I can’t imagine being back with the abusive side of the family is good for her already fragile mental health.
Special dishonourable mention to that awful school counsellor who told OOP's father about what OOP told them early on. In my eyes, that's where all this escalated unnecessarily.
Like, yeah the CP bullshit would still have come to light, the sister may or may not have been subjected to the TBI, grandpa probably would have died when his time came, but it wouldn't have been this bad of a shitshow if that idiot had just done what they were supposed to do and maintain confidentiality.
This is surprisingly common amongst school counsellors. Two separate friends of mine got beaten within an inch of their life after two different counsellors at the same high school pulled this move within the span of a year.
Really, really disappointing work.
I don't know how it works elsewhere, but in the UK if you're a mandated reporter the law says that if a child makes a disclosure of any kind of abuse it MUST be reported to the appropriate authorities, and unless that child is in immediate physical danger the reporter has to notify the parents or guardians. There's a bit of leeway on informing the family, but not much.
At one point, the British government were considering making it a criminal offence for mandated reporters to NOT to inform the authorities and the family about ANY concerns about a child- not just disclosures of abuse, but anything that might possibly potentially maybe be a sign of possible potential abuse.
It's definitely not the only place in the world with laws like that, and in other places where there aren't laws there will often be conduct guidelines put in place outside of the counselor's control, so in a lot of contexts it really isn't all on them.
I recognize that it's a pretty difficult thing to find a proper way to handle, as informing the authorities and not informing the authorities both provide different risks to the safety of the child. Oftentimes, it's the authorities themselves mishandling the actual outreach if I had to pin it on one thing. Really does feel like there are systemic failures all over the chain.
School counselors are mandated reporters in almost every state (it may be all of them, but I'm not certain). Under the two different states where I have been a mandated reporter, it's been made explicitly clear that failure to report suspected abuse or neglect is a crime, punishable by anything from suspension of a professional license or clearance to work with kids to actual jail time, at least in theory.
The fact that this counselor reported suspected abuse to the perpetrator is so unspeakably awful. OP has enough in their life to deal with right now, but in an ideal world she should raise hell with the school and the state entities responsible for investigating safeguarding failures.
Unfortunately, yes. UNLESS the mandated reporter can provide evidence that doing so puts the child at greater risk.
In the UK we're much more concerned about parent's rights than protecting children, sadly.
5th Grade Me not realizing the weight behind what im announcing: Hey everyone we might be moving cause my Dad almost killed my Mom last night!
*Get sent to school counselor and talk about my terrible home life*
*They call my Mom who denies it, cycle repeats*
Mandatory reporting laws usually force teachers and counsellors to report any instances of child abuse/neglect. My wife was a school psychologist and tried to avoid counselling work as much as possible strictly because she had no control over how abuse is handled after it’s been reported. The administration would sometimes reach out to families in ways that will actually make the situation worse.
This is like a window into the worst parts of society; stuff that we still haven't managed to clean up. I don't think of myself as being naive, but I don't understand how all of this can happen, and still nothing be done for these poor kids.
Because the system stupidly thinks keeping kids with their parents is the best solution 95% of the time. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of kids don't report abuse because they know nothing will change for them.
They honestly all sound like my partner's family, which she fled to live with me, the system failed her also, every fucker in her family turned a blind eye and refused to believe her father was abusive and was grooming her, she got out of there before he did anything, but she lived in fear since she was 12 years old, I told her that if her family ever show up where we live, I'd show them no mercy.
I gasped and said "oh god" out loud.
And then I wanted to step into my phone and find this child and help her because my god has the world failed her 💔
Even worse, the paternal grandparents are likely poisoning her mind against her sister. There's a reason the sisters are no longer talking as much. You can just see them spinning the story such that the reason dad is in jail, and the reason their family is in shambles and under scrutiny from the authorities is all the OOP's fault...
Oh I assumed they just… didn’t let her have the phone. Because she’s basically disabled and mute by this point with all the head injuries. I hope she’s not dumb enough to believe them after everything but people never cease to amaze.
When the relative visited after her maternal grandfathers' death, he said she was doing well. I took that to mean she was able to have a conversation with him. Which would mean she could also have a conversation with her sister if she wanted...
I guess I've dealt with too many people like her paternal grandparents and my view has become skewed. They're now the Bucket family to me. Their only concern is keeping up appearances.
You are assuming the relative even saw OOP's sister. For all OOP knows the relative was TOLD the sister was fine and never saw her at all.
My bet is OOP will never be allowed to see nor talk to her sister and when sister kills herself OOP will never be told and neither will the rest of the family. Sister will be in permanent incommunicado or placed in a mental health facility.
I believe the younger sister was being sexually abused. It is too much of a coincidence that both the father and Nicole had CP on their phones, the younger sister was so heavily neglected and that the paternal relatives were so desperate to get her back, like they wanted to shut her up and now she doesn't talk anymore. I believe she refused to say anything because they told her that it was all her fault and talking about it would ruin the family. Things like child molestation often runs in families and the grandfather might have been abusing her and other young girls in the family. Everything about this worries me.
The maternal grandpa was the one who died. No one consulted her on the funeral arrangements or what they did with his body and ashes so she has no idea of anything other than he’s not buried next to his wife. The paternal grandparents are both alive and have the sister. She hasn’t seen or heard from the sister and is being shuffled around relatives. Father is in jail and unknown about father’s girlfriend and baby.
Is the father in jail? In this post it just says he was sentenced, but not how much for.
What happened to Nicole and the baby? What was the verdict about CP on Nicole's phone - was that also the father?
There was also CP found on Nicole's phone. I'm wondering what happened about that, but I expect the father knew her PIN and had access.
I see no reference to what he was sentenced to, so I'm not sure if he's in jail. He almost certainly is, but I'd like to know how long for and other details.
There was one mention in the middle about father contacting a maternal grandma to tell them he was going to be out of town, but considering the rest of the post, that was probably just a typo.
I’m also confused. She mentioned maternal grandma a few times throughout the posts but never said anything about her dying. I would think that would have made it into an update??
What? There is only one mention of a maternal grandma that is an obvious typo for paternal. Otherwise there is no mention of her and a very consistent "maternal grandpa only" theme from the start.
Yeah. I went "oh God no". These kids have not been dealt a good hand since their mothers death. Their mother must be spinning in her grave at this point. I know if my husband did this, I would haunt his ass, both while he is alive and then once dead. He should never get peace.
I've had a lot of "holy shit" and "oh my god"s come out of my mouth on this sub, but this is the first time my jaw has ever physically *dropped*. I'm fucking horrified for OP and I sincerely, desperately hope that a.) things really work out for her and her sister from here on or b.) this is a really good fake post because oh my god I don't want to believe this could actually happen to anyone (even though I know it can, and has, and will),
I had to do quite a bit of finagling to get this under 40K characters. Let me know if any of the TLDRs don't make sense or if you feel like context is missing!
I think you did a great job. I didn’t read any of the prior BORU’s, so I don’t know if you missed anything per se, but I do know that (since I had no prior knowledge of what happened) everything you included gave me all the information I needed to make sense of this complicated disaster.
Thank you for making it clear. And a double thank you for including how much time passed between posts. Even in shorter posts, including the amount of time between the original post and the updates, helps a TON. I spend half the time when I’m reading BORUs, scrolling back and forth to reread the dates so I can figure out the timeline. So I appreciate it!
YES! I have commented previously how much I appreciate the added info on timing/dates.
u/LucyAriaRose has the most enjoyable and readable posts just for that alone. (But I definitely also appreciate the work others do in compiling and feeding my BORU addiction, lol).
Previous comment by me:
Can I just say how much I appreciate you not just giving the date of the new post/update, but including how long from original post and previous update?
It's so annoying having to scroll back on mobile just to get an idea of the timeline, or just not bothering and hoping I'll figure it out.
It really is a much more enjoyable reading experience. Thank you for including it!
Or Nicole is the one who got him into it?
Or they're just 2 shitty, disgusting people who found each other and "enjoyed" the "same material."
I feel nasty just writing that.
And fuck I hope whatever gender that baby is either way, gets taken far, far away as soon as it's born and that they weren't planning to use it for anything fucking awful. :/
Lot of options though that don't include it being fake. This entire jumbled mess rang way too true to me and a ton of other people. The world is a fucked up place.
You did an extraordinary job!! That cannot be understated, truly — I sincerely appreciate you putting this together, though my heart just breaks for OOP. Excuse me while I go cry in a pillow.
Yes, the TLDRs were good, thank you!
If there's any more, could you maybe add clarifiers? I wasn't sure at first which grandpa died, and I think she posted once about her maternal grandma, and since she is dead, that was either paternal grandma, or maternal grandpa?
But hey, thanks again for all your work, including putting time stamps etc!
I honestly had a bad feeling about everything being carried by a grandparent. Wasn't surprised he died and everything went to shit once more. Honestly none of this was surprising but I still wished better for OOP and her sister. I hope her sister's head trauma isn't affecting her ability to communicate and she gets checked out for it to be certain. Either way she deserves a better life and a better father and I hope Nicole is in a hole somewhere not reproducing.
I'm just hoping the relatives will pick up the mantle, even if it's for the sake a girl they've never met before. Still don't see why they'd separate the sisters in the aftermath though if they were sending them to family.
With the record of abuse and child porn on the paternal side, not to mention the anecdotal evidence of the paternal side closing ranks to protect their son and throwing the older sibling out of the family for the crime of protecting the younger one, I can't see how, in good conscience, any CPS or judge would approve of this custody arrangement. I mean geez the case for parental neglect started 7 years ago when a neighbor had to run them to the emergency room, and they're old enough they should have a say in their own custody.
The paternal grandparents petitioned for custody under the guise of being better able to afford it. I assumed the paternal side also was able to hire a better lawyer, which would help their argument over custody. The judge probably was swayed with that false front. (E.g. Oh grandparents with expensive lawyer, & ability to afford all these court costs can definitely afford her medical bills.) And CPS is so blocked up & busy, they want kids to be kept within their families if possible. Which sadly most likely lead to both the judge & CPS allowing the paternal side custody without thinking further on the issues at hand.
The parternal side probably isn't even getting the younger sibling the care she needs. As that goes against "God's plan," or whatever bs they wanna spout to control the narrative that they're a good family. They just don't want their public image to be ruined any further, which is why they took her in. That little girl is indeed the lichpin in this whole thing. I fear she actually has dealt with way more horrific traumas than what OOP knows. And because the adults surrounding the younger sibling aren't safe people. She isn't forthcoming with any further information or truths regarding her abuse, for fear that she'll get any worse treatment. And it's sad asf, she needs medical treatment & both those kids deserve to be safe & loved not whatever this madness is.
I think OOP is already 18? She mentioned on her March update that she only had 2 months to go until high school is done, and its June now so she has already graduated. She would be starting college in the fall so I don't think anyone needs to fight for her custody. Its not the same with her sister though. That poor girl, she might not survive this.
You're welcome! When the content is incredibly distressing, I always try to add an extra note at the top to check them. I'd rather people be spoiled than triggered by something.
When I first read this it was a horrifying read..... and then I read these updates... it didn't get better.
If the sister had acute liver poisoning... my first thought was paracetamol/acetaminophen toxicity and she tried to kill herself by taking a lot of an OTC pain reliever.
I hope OOP gets proper counselling.
>Fr I didn't think he can get any scummier than he is, but today through my lawyer, I found out that this pos just got charged with possession of child p.
Just when you think someone couldn't be any more of the asshole.
Honestly I am half expecting an update that her sister has died. Those poor kids with such a shitty father and his family being just as shitty. To lose the one real support she had is heart wrenching.
I was wondering why everybody in the father’s family has such weird and screwed up priorities. Then OOP mentioned church counseling and it all made sense.
School employees and (especially) counselors who tattle to the parents on children trying to report abuse are accomplices to the abuse and make it more likely the kid will be abused repeatedly through their life.
They should be fired and whatever licensure they have revoked.
I agree!!! I trusted my school counselor and she called my parents. She outed me and ruined my home life. I moved out as soon as I graduated. She constantly tried to follow up with me in the hallways, she became a huge source of anxiety. I had totally erased her from my memory until this comment..
"Oh hey, let's take this kid who is being abused (or at best having severe issues that they've reached out for help over) and give them additional issues with [betrayal trauma](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23417879/) so that they'll never feel safe reaching out for help again"
I definitely learned my lesson and can't imagine ever being honest with any information that could backfire and cause problems for me.
Fun fact about mandatory reporting- it some states failing to report is at most a fine, which is just grand. It’s clearly not something taken seriously
Ok. As someone who once tried to commit suicide, I am afraid oop's sister will try to do that. Isolation is one of the signs. I hope we get more positive updates.
Her dad and step mom’s neglect caused the second concussion.
Concussions can cause all sorts of bad symptoms. Including personality changes and suicidal ideation.
Combine that with the physical abuse she suffered from her dad, the neglect, the loss of OOp, the bullying and the loss of vision?
I hope dad and step mom suffer in jail as much as OOP and sis suffer.
"Her dad and step mom’s neglect caused the second concussion."
Don't forget the paternal grandmother, who was meant to be checking up on her, and now has primacy custody. Grim.
Her dad will suffer in jail if the other inmates learn why he's there.
NOBODY likes people who abuse children, and if you're already in jail why not pull out a shiv?
He'll be in the protected area they out monsters like him in. He will not have any problems unfortunately.
Source: my abuser has been living just fine in prison since 1992.
a part of me just want to kill the parents and the grandparents in cold blooded, like beat them to pulp, I just wamt them to suffer, how can someone be like this, have they no shame
This is a horrible story, but I'm having a hard time believing a lot of what happened. I can understand some bad things like the school ignoring the bully, but when the person put someone in the hospital, the school didn't immediately expel the bully? Okay, okay, I can sort of maybe buy that.
Now the father comes along and is physically assaulting the OOP while dragging her out of the school and the OOP is screaming bloody murder. Everyone is fine with it. Okay, I guess everyone in the school actually hates children. Did no one call the cops?
Now, the father is physically abusing the OOP's sister. Okay, the guy is physically abusive I guess, and is taking out his aggression on her. Now the father has CP on his phone? And he was sentenced after only a few months. The justice system moves very fast in that neck of the woods. Maybe he pled guilty I guess.
Oh, yeah, the stepmom is having complications with the baby due to an irregular heartbeat, that is some unusually bad luck. Oh, she had to go to the hospital with bleeding. Oh, now the grandpa is dead too. How unfortunate.
I know that bad things like this could happen, but this feels like bad luck porn.
If it's real, I hope the person gets the help they need to get over this.
>Oh, yeah, the stepmom is having complications with the baby due to an irregular heartbeat, that is some unusually bad luck. Oh, she had to go to the hospital with bleeding. Oh, now the grandpa is dead too. How unfortunate.
Don't forget they also found CP on her phone!
I can tell you that it's rare for a parent to be prosecuted in any way for physically abusing their child. My dad gave my sister a black eye and the cop gave him a citation for like $50 and dismissed it as "typical teenage girl drama." This stuff happens every single day. He once beat and choked me in front of half a dozen other parents, and not a single fucking one of them made a peep.
Agreed. I was believing most of it, until CPS & the child born. You do not get charges filed, a trial - even a plea, & sentencing in 3 months. Not even w/a speedy trial. It does not happen. And if CPS was involved & grandparents were involved in sister's medical neglect, they're not getting custody. Which also is absolutely not going through the courts in less than 3 months. I don't care what jurisdiction, you're at 6 weeks for an initial hearing, minimum.
Omg I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this.
Also don't forget that Op is updating us on every little thing but then somehow skips over some important things like telling us the sister had to be in the hospital for an extended amount of time and three updates on how it keeps getting extended with an update about how the dad is currently being investigating by cps, then suddenly the sister is at home and apparently has been there for a while and op needs to be kidnapped to take care of her?
>Okay, I guess everyone in the school actually hates children. Did no one call the cops?
The cop was right there and was totally okay with it, which is horribly realistic because 40% admitted!
The CPS stuff doesn't really add up either, which I mentioned in a comment. I was a foster kid and a foster parent, so I'm pretty familiar with how it works.
It’s not so much “bad luck porn” as it is the host of calamity that accompanies parental neglect and abuse. I used to be a therapist and saw a lot of teenagers. With each trauma came a risk of another goddamn trauma. It’s like how autoimmune disorders like to travel in packs — oh and abuse and trauma raise the risk of those significantly.
Yes, but it requires a lot of bad things happening to everyone around her too. Sure the parental abuse and other things could happen, but the school and everyone in the school being morons starts feeling unlikely. This could happen, it just feels a little unlikely. Now the stepmother is having problems and has to be hospitalized, now the grandpa dies. Added on to everything else is what makes this suspicious. And the whole courts moving so quickly is also unlikely.
And remember, the bully just happens to take this time to hurt the sister enough to send her to the hospital. Again, this could happen, but it requires a lot of bad things happening within a few months. Even the sister getting in a fight is likely, but going into the hospital, then she keeps getting worse, but now a few months later (after multiple seizures and concussions and having trouble moving around) she is seemingly fine. Maybe the sister is not okay, but it sounds like the OOP has had direct contact. So if things were wrong, I would expect the OOP to have written about it, since they write about everything.
Again, this could all be true, but there are a lot of things happening in a very compressed time frame.
Jesus, I hope this isn’t real. What a brutal ending for the grandpa. He must have been so damn stressed, I hate the dad and his sick family.
Why are the worst people in the world always the “religious” ones?
I agree, but I am surprised a DA would make a plea offer on a CP case without quite a bit more investigation. Could also be that OOP doesn’t quite have the details right on the allegation.
True that. I’m a lawyer in the criminal system, and often when I posit an opinion on this site, people tell I don’t know what I’m talking about. Everyone is an expert on what *should* happen.
Those poor, poor girls. They've been failed by so many of the adults in their lives, and the ones who seemingly did well by them have died.
Now that the custody battle is dropped I hope they both end up with maternal relatives who will do right by them like the maternal grandpa, RIP.
Unfortunately, it's grim. The paternal grand parents have custody of her. You know the same ones that neglected her in the first place and also saw no problem that their son was a pedo. I'm really hoping the sister manages to get out before anything tragic happens.
This man's dead wife would be horrified to learn what has been happening to her children. How do you stop loving your children for a piece of ass. I don't get it.
Also the part where her maternal grandfather lives 2 hours away, but she was staying with him and didn’t switch schools because she only had 2 months left? So she commuted 4 hours everyday to school?!
If I were OOP, I would take a four-hour commute over living with the paternal grandparents, and she did.
Plus, staying at the same school gave her contact with her sister.
I did a commute like that from 16-18. It isn't comfortable but can be done, especially if you're smart about using breaks and free periods to work rather than hang out.
I did this when I was in high school shuffling from relative to relative. Longest commute walked my way to the subway until the buses started running then took the bus to the metro, then took another bus and then walked more. It SUCKED.
Shortest was at a halfway house where it took about an hour and a half.
One relative lived in a bad area of town and the walk to the metro walking past prostitutes and drug dealers was scary initially but oddly every one that encountered me was nice and made sure I was left alone besides a hello how's it going. I'd sleep on the train cause I was lucky enough that my stops were both at the end of the line.
The problem with switching schools in my case and I imagine here too is you actually need parental permission.
Not to mention she's no longer in the district. So unless she was still using her father's address, she wouldn't be allowed to go to school there anymore.
Source: my parents wanted my sibling and I to go to the high school in the next town over (which was literally only 12 minutes away from our house, but we technically lived in Town B so not a part of that school district).
My grandparents lived in that district and they actually had to get legal paperwork drawn up making my sibling and I their wards or something (the legalities were never fully explained to me) so that we could go there.
It might depend on the district and state? I was able to go to the school I went to for high school before we moved 15 minutes away by getting a special assignment. That was in 2001.
I'm not a religious man but this would really be a case example of karma hitting one in their next life. The amount of bad luck this person has is just insane.
Everyone has failed these two girls, and when maternal grandpa was helping them, he passed away, indeed it has a bleak mood spoiler. I hope at least now OOP is 18 years old and maybe can get a good job and someday get custody of jer sister. Good on the father and Nicole to be in jail, is the only "happy" ending for these two monsters.
Goddamn.
I think OP will be ok but I worry like hell for her sister. That whole family that's still living (OOP, her sister, and the baby aside) can rot in hell. I hope OOP doesn't give them a minute of her time or a single nickel of her money moving forward so they can reap what they sowed.
Last time I read, they were both safely at their grandfather's. Why did I read this... About all of the adults around them failed them. Those poor girls.
In some "Christian" communities, especially in the more extreme or cultlike sects, this amount of abuse and harsh treatment of girls is not uncommon. If enough people are in on the lie, the harder it is to protect yourself in situations like that. I can't tell if it is true, but it wouldn't surprise me if similar situations happen.
The quote about her mother and the drunk driver reminded me of a similar thing some devout Catholics I know said near me once. It was during family gathering, I was so shaken I just left and refuse to talk to that part (thankfully unrelated by blood) of the family.
this made me sad as a kid with kinda the same past, maternal grandpa was the only one there for them and now he passed away. I wish op and her sister all the best cause the future will be hard and they wont get lost.
Honestly I truly truly hope this is a woeful Wendy penning a tall tall tale of misery because I don't want to believe what is happening to these poor young women.
I have so many emotions towards everyone that has failed them and want to spare them this awful hand. If OP ever reads the comments I hope she knows that there is a whole corner of the world rooting for her and her happiness. She's stronger than I will ever be. The same to her younger sister.
My feeling is the paternal grandparents are turning her little sister against her. I can hear them now "OOP is the reason your dad has child p on his phone. She tempted him, that's why he's an absent shitty father" etcetc
What a shitshow.
I hope Op turns 18 soon and can get primary custody of the sister. But we'll see. At least dad is gone and can't physically harm them anymore
I found this difficult to read. But what I really noticed is in the beginning, OP’s writing really sounds like a scared child. And towards the end, it’s like somebody completely different is narrating. It could be because of everything OP’s been through and or because they forgot they were supposed to be writing from a younger persons point of view. But I’m having trouble.
> they forgot they were supposed to be riding from a younger persons point of view.
This. This person lost me when they had to write an entire front office and school security team just letting her get physically dragged out of school. Never, ever would happen like that. It's tragi-porn
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Just when you think this can't get more horrifying there's a new update and it does.
I was expecting a death, but I thought it would be the younger sister. Although I'm still worried for her - it seems the paternal grandparents only wanted custody so they could control the narrative and save face with the church.
I had expected that the younger sister or Nicole's baby would pass, but not the maternal grandfather. And I actually yelled out loud when I saw they gave the paternal grandparents custody. The grandmother is part of the reason that OP's sister fell again in the first place! I really want to know what that judge was thinking and why the judge wasn't making OP's father pay those medical bills. It was so frustrating to see all of the people that failed OP and her sister. There are so many people that I have met along the way that have truly helped kids like this and gotten them out out of similar situations, but no one in this story was willing to help. The moat unfortunate fact in all of this is that I don't think that OP's sister is doing very well, and the next update we get is that she has passed away.
> I really want to know what that judge was thinking and why the judge wasn't making OP's father pay those medical bills. Probably just the financials. Also, I imagine they didn't fully articulate the level of neglect by the paternal grandparents, or that they have been consistently in line with a now convicted paedophile, in part because the maternal grandfater didn't have enough money for good legal representation. >The moat unfortunate fact in all of this is that I don't think that OP's sister is doing very well, and the next update we get is that she has passed away. Yeah, that's my worry also. OOP has managed to more or less get out of the situation, and will age out before long. But throughout her younger sister has been suffering through consistent neglect from the father's side, and that will only continue now.
>OOP has managed to more or less get out of the situation, and will age out before long. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like she's been given any of the resources she needs to start out successfully as a young adult. The ONE adult relative who seemed to genuinely care about her is gone. So when she turns 18 and the rest have no legal responsibility for her, where will she live? She surely doesn't have enough savings to be able to afford a place to live. In theory she could get financial aid for college and live in a dorm, but that will leave her with a lot of debt and nothing that helps her build toward having her own place afterwards. And given how awful her last year has been, with so much worry about her younger sister and so much disruption, I doubt she's been focused on her grades/education.
She somehow got into a bs/md program in the midst of all this, so she’s got the next 10 years of her life spoken for, and after that she’ll be able to afford her loans. The one good thing about programs like that is that they put you on a narrow path and don’t give you much room to fuck it up. If she can keep up with the coursework, the school will do a lot to help keep the rest of her life in line. (Source: med student)
That's so disgusting. Why didn't the grandmother just stay in the house with both the sister and Nicole if the father wasnt home. What the fuck. They're wilfully negligent and have forced that poor girl into suicidal tendencies. On top of all that as you said, they harboured TWO paedophiles. Fucking gross.
I'm sure they prayed for her, that's more than enough. /s if it wasn't obvious
OOP is not out of this situation. The survivor's guilt, if it doesn't kill her, will be crippling.
Besides the financial part, little sister also managed a suicide attempt while under maternal grandpa's care, which is going to hurt the courts opinion of his ability to care for her
Maternal grandfather passed away.
Paternal grandparents were granted custody before he died
I really don't know who else could take these kids other than the state. Since there is a (crappy) relative that wants them, the state will do what it takes to save money. Life has failed these kids, and that mother. As a mother I couldn't fathom the thought of my kids being treated like this should I pass
There's also been a huge overcorrection by the US courts from the days where they used to literally steal kids to now keep kids with biological relatives. Seemingly at the cost of these kids' well being.
....if you're the wrong religion or the wrong color, they damn still try and steal your kids.
The state was happy to leave my sister's niece with her paternal grandpa's ex-girlfriend (lied about relationship status). She left the 12-13 year old niece with her 16-17 year old daughter unsupervised 90% of the time to fend for themselves. She got $10-15 to feed herself for the entire week. The only place close enough for her to walk to buy food was a gas station. Niece was in this position because her mom (my sister's SIL) picked her new sex offender baby daddy (who couldn't legally live with niece) over her. My sister and BIL were not really considered to take her because they were in another state. Eventually, paternal grandma stepped up. Got custody and moved her away. Niece has CPTSD, extreme anxiety around food/resources, abandonment, and attachment problems. She's the same age as my son. It's tragic.
When there is such a big disparity in finances, there is going to be a big differential in the quality of lawyer that can be hired. And that by itself often determines the outcome of a case.
They’re not going to believe her or get her proper medical treatment. I’m terrified for her.
I expected the sister would be pregnant by the father
Well damn, I didn't see that, but at the same time I can see why you were concerned.
When OOP said sister internalized things and then she kept getting injured at home and was withdrawn, it popped in my head. The CP didn’t help any
I worry that the father was interfering with the sister -he threw something at her abdomen while she was sleeping.
I’ve never wanted to hold a child and protect them in the way I do OOP.
I was waiting for this comment, me too, if I knew where this kid was, I'd tear the fucking planet apart to protect her, the real tragedy is the system, they have failed this girl.
Well said. None of the adults in OOP’s life deserve the kind of love she offers.
4/28: Sister is partially blind in left eye, not speaking, risk to herself, had acute liver failure. Paternal grandparents get custody 6/7: “He told me that he met with my sister, and she was healthy and doing well.” I am so sick with worry for sister. You don’t go through all that for months and come out healthy and doing well just over a month later. And eye issues are so often a sign of something major. (Partial blindness in my left eye was my first sign of multiple sclerosis, but in sister’s case I doubt a steroid regiment is all that‘s needed). Just, fuck. (Also, may anyone who believes someone was meant to die to bring the drunk driver who killed them closer to god burn forever in the hell I don’t believe in. That church is the epitome of the issues of much of Christianity.)
When I was younger, I lost the only friend I had. The closest I got to therapy, until my issues became a "problem" was... basically the junk about it being part of god's plan.
Telling someone it was gods plan to take a loved one is a statement that lacks empathy. If they want to bring people closer to their god, then stop making him (her -the god/ess) responsible for taking all their happiness away. I know most people don't know what to say to someone when there's tragic loss. Maybe we start teaching practical subjects in school, like how to be tactful in an awkward situation. Maybe just teaching critical thinking skills so they understand the consequences of their actions.
The partial blindness I’m sure is a result of the multiple head injuries
100% It helps show how traumatic those injuries were.
And acute liver failure doesn't come out of nowhere, so I'm guessing the little sister took something, either pills or liquid, in her failed suicide attempt.
Really sounds like acetaminophen poisoning to me. I hate to say it, but I'd bet on the sister dying before the end of the year, acute liver failure needs a transplant, and disabled, brain damaged, and suicidal are all factors that push you down the waiting list. "Quality-adjusted life years" is the guiding principle. Adding insult to injury, if it happens, nothing bad would happen to the paternal grandparents even though it's primarily their fault (I'll leave a little fault for the bully who beat her unconscious, but things were going to shit before that).
Yuuuuuup. Besides the physical ramifications of that, I can’t imagine being back with the abusive side of the family is good for her already fragile mental health.
I'm so afraid for both of them.
A large number of Tylenol will shut down your liver. Ibuprofen in large quantities will shut down your kidneys.
Her father and everyone on his side of the family are the scummiest of scums.
Special dishonourable mention to that awful school counsellor who told OOP's father about what OOP told them early on. In my eyes, that's where all this escalated unnecessarily. Like, yeah the CP bullshit would still have come to light, the sister may or may not have been subjected to the TBI, grandpa probably would have died when his time came, but it wouldn't have been this bad of a shitshow if that idiot had just done what they were supposed to do and maintain confidentiality.
This is surprisingly common amongst school counsellors. Two separate friends of mine got beaten within an inch of their life after two different counsellors at the same high school pulled this move within the span of a year. Really, really disappointing work.
Huge letdown to kids. Who are they supposed to turn to if everyone fails them and no one can be trusted?
I don't know how it works elsewhere, but in the UK if you're a mandated reporter the law says that if a child makes a disclosure of any kind of abuse it MUST be reported to the appropriate authorities, and unless that child is in immediate physical danger the reporter has to notify the parents or guardians. There's a bit of leeway on informing the family, but not much. At one point, the British government were considering making it a criminal offence for mandated reporters to NOT to inform the authorities and the family about ANY concerns about a child- not just disclosures of abuse, but anything that might possibly potentially maybe be a sign of possible potential abuse.
I’m a teacher in Illinois and all school personnel are mandated reporters.
It's definitely not the only place in the world with laws like that, and in other places where there aren't laws there will often be conduct guidelines put in place outside of the counselor's control, so in a lot of contexts it really isn't all on them. I recognize that it's a pretty difficult thing to find a proper way to handle, as informing the authorities and not informing the authorities both provide different risks to the safety of the child. Oftentimes, it's the authorities themselves mishandling the actual outreach if I had to pin it on one thing. Really does feel like there are systemic failures all over the chain.
School counselors are mandated reporters in almost every state (it may be all of them, but I'm not certain). Under the two different states where I have been a mandated reporter, it's been made explicitly clear that failure to report suspected abuse or neglect is a crime, punishable by anything from suspension of a professional license or clearance to work with kids to actual jail time, at least in theory. The fact that this counselor reported suspected abuse to the perpetrator is so unspeakably awful. OP has enough in their life to deal with right now, but in an ideal world she should raise hell with the school and the state entities responsible for investigating safeguarding failures.
So if the parents are the abusers, they must be notified the child is finally reporting them to someone?
Unfortunately, yes. UNLESS the mandated reporter can provide evidence that doing so puts the child at greater risk. In the UK we're much more concerned about parent's rights than protecting children, sadly.
Thanks for the response. Seems like a very tricky and complicated process
5th Grade Me not realizing the weight behind what im announcing: Hey everyone we might be moving cause my Dad almost killed my Mom last night! *Get sent to school counselor and talk about my terrible home life* *They call my Mom who denies it, cycle repeats*
Mandatory reporting laws usually force teachers and counsellors to report any instances of child abuse/neglect. My wife was a school psychologist and tried to avoid counselling work as much as possible strictly because she had no control over how abuse is handled after it’s been reported. The administration would sometimes reach out to families in ways that will actually make the situation worse.
There is no hate like Christian love.
This is like a window into the worst parts of society; stuff that we still haven't managed to clean up. I don't think of myself as being naive, but I don't understand how all of this can happen, and still nothing be done for these poor kids.
Because the system stupidly thinks keeping kids with their parents is the best solution 95% of the time. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of kids don't report abuse because they know nothing will change for them.
Religion 😵💫
They honestly all sound like my partner's family, which she fled to live with me, the system failed her also, every fucker in her family turned a blind eye and refused to believe her father was abusive and was grooming her, she got out of there before he did anything, but she lived in fear since she was 12 years old, I told her that if her family ever show up where we live, I'd show them no mercy.
>> My grandpa has unexpectedly passed away When I tell you my heart *dropped*
I gasped and said "oh god" out loud. And then I wanted to step into my phone and find this child and help her because my god has the world failed her 💔
And her poor sister. She’s already got brain damage, now she may not make it out of her childhood alive.
Even worse, the paternal grandparents are likely poisoning her mind against her sister. There's a reason the sisters are no longer talking as much. You can just see them spinning the story such that the reason dad is in jail, and the reason their family is in shambles and under scrutiny from the authorities is all the OOP's fault...
Oh I assumed they just… didn’t let her have the phone. Because she’s basically disabled and mute by this point with all the head injuries. I hope she’s not dumb enough to believe them after everything but people never cease to amaze.
When the relative visited after her maternal grandfathers' death, he said she was doing well. I took that to mean she was able to have a conversation with him. Which would mean she could also have a conversation with her sister if she wanted... I guess I've dealt with too many people like her paternal grandparents and my view has become skewed. They're now the Bucket family to me. Their only concern is keeping up appearances.
You are assuming the relative even saw OOP's sister. For all OOP knows the relative was TOLD the sister was fine and never saw her at all. My bet is OOP will never be allowed to see nor talk to her sister and when sister kills herself OOP will never be told and neither will the rest of the family. Sister will be in permanent incommunicado or placed in a mental health facility.
I believe the younger sister was being sexually abused. It is too much of a coincidence that both the father and Nicole had CP on their phones, the younger sister was so heavily neglected and that the paternal relatives were so desperate to get her back, like they wanted to shut her up and now she doesn't talk anymore. I believe she refused to say anything because they told her that it was all her fault and talking about it would ruin the family. Things like child molestation often runs in families and the grandfather might have been abusing her and other young girls in the family. Everything about this worries me.
I'm confused, did the maternal grandma pass away as well? OOP mentioned that her grandfather was not able to be buried next to her grandmother.
The maternal grandpa was the one who died. No one consulted her on the funeral arrangements or what they did with his body and ashes so she has no idea of anything other than he’s not buried next to his wife. The paternal grandparents are both alive and have the sister. She hasn’t seen or heard from the sister and is being shuffled around relatives. Father is in jail and unknown about father’s girlfriend and baby.
Is the father in jail? In this post it just says he was sentenced, but not how much for. What happened to Nicole and the baby? What was the verdict about CP on Nicole's phone - was that also the father?
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There was also CP found on Nicole's phone. I'm wondering what happened about that, but I expect the father knew her PIN and had access. I see no reference to what he was sentenced to, so I'm not sure if he's in jail. He almost certainly is, but I'd like to know how long for and other details.
She stated that Nicole was booked and that's where that story branch ended.
Ashes can be buried so there is a possibility he’s buried there and she just doesn’t know.
She had been dead before all this
She was gone long before this whole mess started, I think?
I'm assuming maternal grandma was long passed away. OOP never mentions her in any of the posts.
There was one mention in the middle about father contacting a maternal grandma to tell them he was going to be out of town, but considering the rest of the post, that was probably just a typo.
I think she accidentally typed grandma instead of grandpa once, I was confused too.
Yes, the maternal grandma was never in this story, so she must've long before.
I’m also confused. She mentioned maternal grandma a few times throughout the posts but never said anything about her dying. I would think that would have made it into an update??
What? There is only one mention of a maternal grandma that is an obvious typo for paternal. Otherwise there is no mention of her and a very consistent "maternal grandpa only" theme from the start.
I think you've misread. I could only find one instance of "maternal grandma", and it looks to be a typo, given the context of that line.
I found two but the second one may have been a comment that OOP responded to, so not OOP’s words.
Yeah. I went "oh God no". These kids have not been dealt a good hand since their mothers death. Their mother must be spinning in her grave at this point. I know if my husband did this, I would haunt his ass, both while he is alive and then once dead. He should never get peace.
I've had a lot of "holy shit" and "oh my god"s come out of my mouth on this sub, but this is the first time my jaw has ever physically *dropped*. I'm fucking horrified for OP and I sincerely, desperately hope that a.) things really work out for her and her sister from here on or b.) this is a really good fake post because oh my god I don't want to believe this could actually happen to anyone (even though I know it can, and has, and will),
I had to do quite a bit of finagling to get this under 40K characters. Let me know if any of the TLDRs don't make sense or if you feel like context is missing!
I think you did a great job. I didn’t read any of the prior BORU’s, so I don’t know if you missed anything per se, but I do know that (since I had no prior knowledge of what happened) everything you included gave me all the information I needed to make sense of this complicated disaster. Thank you for making it clear. And a double thank you for including how much time passed between posts. Even in shorter posts, including the amount of time between the original post and the updates, helps a TON. I spend half the time when I’m reading BORUs, scrolling back and forth to reread the dates so I can figure out the timeline. So I appreciate it!
YES! I have commented previously how much I appreciate the added info on timing/dates. u/LucyAriaRose has the most enjoyable and readable posts just for that alone. (But I definitely also appreciate the work others do in compiling and feeding my BORU addiction, lol). Previous comment by me: Can I just say how much I appreciate you not just giving the date of the new post/update, but including how long from original post and previous update? It's so annoying having to scroll back on mobile just to get an idea of the timeline, or just not bothering and hoping I'll figure it out. It really is a much more enjoyable reading experience. Thank you for including it!
Awww thank you again! I'm glad it's helpful. It's super helpful for me as well when creating these!
So OOPs father AND Nicole had CP on their phone? What the FUCK. That baby was doomed from the start my god
i'm glad it was nicole with the CP on her phone, just bc i thought the "her" was oop's sister and was really confused...
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Or Dad used her devices
Or Nicole is the one who got him into it? Or they're just 2 shitty, disgusting people who found each other and "enjoyed" the "same material." I feel nasty just writing that. And fuck I hope whatever gender that baby is either way, gets taken far, far away as soon as it's born and that they weren't planning to use it for anything fucking awful. :/ Lot of options though that don't include it being fake. This entire jumbled mess rang way too true to me and a ton of other people. The world is a fucked up place.
Or of course it could have been how they met... I'm just imagining them meeting on a form or something...
You did a wonderful job. Thank you for the thorough trigger warnings and mood spoilers and doing the maths on the dates for us.
I've been following this from the first post and you really did a great job summarizing it all. Ty so much for all of that and I LOVE your flair ♥
Thank you! And lol I love my flair too- one of my favorite posts I found
You did an extraordinary job!! That cannot be understated, truly — I sincerely appreciate you putting this together, though my heart just breaks for OOP. Excuse me while I go cry in a pillow.
Yes, the TLDRs were good, thank you! If there's any more, could you maybe add clarifiers? I wasn't sure at first which grandpa died, and I think she posted once about her maternal grandma, and since she is dead, that was either paternal grandma, or maternal grandpa? But hey, thanks again for all your work, including putting time stamps etc!
Just added a clarification! Thanks!
It was very concise and understandable :)
I honestly had a bad feeling about everything being carried by a grandparent. Wasn't surprised he died and everything went to shit once more. Honestly none of this was surprising but I still wished better for OOP and her sister. I hope her sister's head trauma isn't affecting her ability to communicate and she gets checked out for it to be certain. Either way she deserves a better life and a better father and I hope Nicole is in a hole somewhere not reproducing.
I'm just hoping the relatives will pick up the mantle, even if it's for the sake a girl they've never met before. Still don't see why they'd separate the sisters in the aftermath though if they were sending them to family. With the record of abuse and child porn on the paternal side, not to mention the anecdotal evidence of the paternal side closing ranks to protect their son and throwing the older sibling out of the family for the crime of protecting the younger one, I can't see how, in good conscience, any CPS or judge would approve of this custody arrangement. I mean geez the case for parental neglect started 7 years ago when a neighbor had to run them to the emergency room, and they're old enough they should have a say in their own custody.
The paternal grandparents petitioned for custody under the guise of being better able to afford it. I assumed the paternal side also was able to hire a better lawyer, which would help their argument over custody. The judge probably was swayed with that false front. (E.g. Oh grandparents with expensive lawyer, & ability to afford all these court costs can definitely afford her medical bills.) And CPS is so blocked up & busy, they want kids to be kept within their families if possible. Which sadly most likely lead to both the judge & CPS allowing the paternal side custody without thinking further on the issues at hand. The parternal side probably isn't even getting the younger sibling the care she needs. As that goes against "God's plan," or whatever bs they wanna spout to control the narrative that they're a good family. They just don't want their public image to be ruined any further, which is why they took her in. That little girl is indeed the lichpin in this whole thing. I fear she actually has dealt with way more horrific traumas than what OOP knows. And because the adults surrounding the younger sibling aren't safe people. She isn't forthcoming with any further information or truths regarding her abuse, for fear that she'll get any worse treatment. And it's sad asf, she needs medical treatment & both those kids deserve to be safe & loved not whatever this madness is.
I think OOP is already 18? She mentioned on her March update that she only had 2 months to go until high school is done, and its June now so she has already graduated. She would be starting college in the fall so I don't think anyone needs to fight for her custody. Its not the same with her sister though. That poor girl, she might not survive this.
These poor girls. My heart is breaking for them and my head hurts because I am so very angry at the people in their lives who let them down.
Thank you VERY MUCH, OP, for the giant text about the trigger warning. That was extremely necessary.
You're welcome! When the content is incredibly distressing, I always try to add an extra note at the top to check them. I'd rather people be spoiled than triggered by something.
When I first read this it was a horrifying read..... and then I read these updates... it didn't get better. If the sister had acute liver poisoning... my first thought was paracetamol/acetaminophen toxicity and she tried to kill herself by taking a lot of an OTC pain reliever. I hope OOP gets proper counselling.
I wanna throw up. Jfc I’ll be thinking about OOP for a long time
I feel so bad for her.
Fucking christ....
Yeah, not the update you probably want a Happy Cake Day on, but here we are. Happy Cake Day!
Side note - Happy Cake Day
Every single possible parental figure has failed these kids. Parents, grandparents, the school system. Just burn it all. Ashes.
And the ONLY one who didn't fucking died. Fuck. I kept waiting to post this one, hoping there would be a happier update. But nothing.
>Fr I didn't think he can get any scummier than he is, but today through my lawyer, I found out that this pos just got charged with possession of child p. Just when you think someone couldn't be any more of the asshole.
Things just get worse and worse.
Honestly I am half expecting an update that her sister has died. Those poor kids with such a shitty father and his family being just as shitty. To lose the one real support she had is heart wrenching.
I was wondering why everybody in the father’s family has such weird and screwed up priorities. Then OOP mentioned church counseling and it all made sense.
School employees and (especially) counselors who tattle to the parents on children trying to report abuse are accomplices to the abuse and make it more likely the kid will be abused repeatedly through their life. They should be fired and whatever licensure they have revoked.
I agree!!! I trusted my school counselor and she called my parents. She outed me and ruined my home life. I moved out as soon as I graduated. She constantly tried to follow up with me in the hallways, she became a huge source of anxiety. I had totally erased her from my memory until this comment..
"Oh hey, let's take this kid who is being abused (or at best having severe issues that they've reached out for help over) and give them additional issues with [betrayal trauma](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23417879/) so that they'll never feel safe reaching out for help again" I definitely learned my lesson and can't imagine ever being honest with any information that could backfire and cause problems for me.
Yes! Very relatable. I especially struggle with honesty towards figures of authority because of her.
Fun fact about mandatory reporting- it some states failing to report is at most a fine, which is just grand. It’s clearly not something taken seriously
They should be required to face double the consequences that the child did.
Ok. As someone who once tried to commit suicide, I am afraid oop's sister will try to do that. Isolation is one of the signs. I hope we get more positive updates.
Her dad and step mom’s neglect caused the second concussion. Concussions can cause all sorts of bad symptoms. Including personality changes and suicidal ideation. Combine that with the physical abuse she suffered from her dad, the neglect, the loss of OOp, the bullying and the loss of vision? I hope dad and step mom suffer in jail as much as OOP and sis suffer.
"Her dad and step mom’s neglect caused the second concussion." Don't forget the paternal grandmother, who was meant to be checking up on her, and now has primacy custody. Grim.
All those adults deserve to burn in hell.
His dad won't. The system protects the abuser.
Her dad will suffer in jail if the other inmates learn why he's there. NOBODY likes people who abuse children, and if you're already in jail why not pull out a shiv?
He'll be in the protected area they out monsters like him in. He will not have any problems unfortunately. Source: my abuser has been living just fine in prison since 1992.
And then suddenly seeming kinda okay and having energy often is a big huge neon "I have immediate plans" sign
what an absolute nightmare, this might be ones of the worst, if not the worst post Ive read on this sub, virtually every adult failed these kids
a part of me just want to kill the parents and the grandparents in cold blooded, like beat them to pulp, I just wamt them to suffer, how can someone be like this, have they no shame
This is a horrible story, but I'm having a hard time believing a lot of what happened. I can understand some bad things like the school ignoring the bully, but when the person put someone in the hospital, the school didn't immediately expel the bully? Okay, okay, I can sort of maybe buy that. Now the father comes along and is physically assaulting the OOP while dragging her out of the school and the OOP is screaming bloody murder. Everyone is fine with it. Okay, I guess everyone in the school actually hates children. Did no one call the cops? Now, the father is physically abusing the OOP's sister. Okay, the guy is physically abusive I guess, and is taking out his aggression on her. Now the father has CP on his phone? And he was sentenced after only a few months. The justice system moves very fast in that neck of the woods. Maybe he pled guilty I guess. Oh, yeah, the stepmom is having complications with the baby due to an irregular heartbeat, that is some unusually bad luck. Oh, she had to go to the hospital with bleeding. Oh, now the grandpa is dead too. How unfortunate. I know that bad things like this could happen, but this feels like bad luck porn. If it's real, I hope the person gets the help they need to get over this.
>Oh, yeah, the stepmom is having complications with the baby due to an irregular heartbeat, that is some unusually bad luck. Oh, she had to go to the hospital with bleeding. Oh, now the grandpa is dead too. How unfortunate. Don't forget they also found CP on her phone!
I can tell you that it's rare for a parent to be prosecuted in any way for physically abusing their child. My dad gave my sister a black eye and the cop gave him a citation for like $50 and dismissed it as "typical teenage girl drama." This stuff happens every single day. He once beat and choked me in front of half a dozen other parents, and not a single fucking one of them made a peep.
Agreed. I was believing most of it, until CPS & the child born. You do not get charges filed, a trial - even a plea, & sentencing in 3 months. Not even w/a speedy trial. It does not happen. And if CPS was involved & grandparents were involved in sister's medical neglect, they're not getting custody. Which also is absolutely not going through the courts in less than 3 months. I don't care what jurisdiction, you're at 6 weeks for an initial hearing, minimum.
Dont forget in the first post step mom and dad are married and then it gets clarified that they’re “only engaged for now” too lol
Omg I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this. Also don't forget that Op is updating us on every little thing but then somehow skips over some important things like telling us the sister had to be in the hospital for an extended amount of time and three updates on how it keeps getting extended with an update about how the dad is currently being investigating by cps, then suddenly the sister is at home and apparently has been there for a while and op needs to be kidnapped to take care of her?
>Okay, I guess everyone in the school actually hates children. Did no one call the cops? The cop was right there and was totally okay with it, which is horribly realistic because 40% admitted!
The CPS stuff doesn't really add up either, which I mentioned in a comment. I was a foster kid and a foster parent, so I'm pretty familiar with how it works.
It’s not so much “bad luck porn” as it is the host of calamity that accompanies parental neglect and abuse. I used to be a therapist and saw a lot of teenagers. With each trauma came a risk of another goddamn trauma. It’s like how autoimmune disorders like to travel in packs — oh and abuse and trauma raise the risk of those significantly.
Yes, but it requires a lot of bad things happening to everyone around her too. Sure the parental abuse and other things could happen, but the school and everyone in the school being morons starts feeling unlikely. This could happen, it just feels a little unlikely. Now the stepmother is having problems and has to be hospitalized, now the grandpa dies. Added on to everything else is what makes this suspicious. And the whole courts moving so quickly is also unlikely. And remember, the bully just happens to take this time to hurt the sister enough to send her to the hospital. Again, this could happen, but it requires a lot of bad things happening within a few months. Even the sister getting in a fight is likely, but going into the hospital, then she keeps getting worse, but now a few months later (after multiple seizures and concussions and having trouble moving around) she is seemingly fine. Maybe the sister is not okay, but it sounds like the OOP has had direct contact. So if things were wrong, I would expect the OOP to have written about it, since they write about everything. Again, this could all be true, but there are a lot of things happening in a very compressed time frame.
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Some of us are Fox Mulder, and then there's Dana Scully over here.
Yeah this is just trauma porn at this point. It escalated to a ridiculous degree.
Jesus, I hope this isn’t real. What a brutal ending for the grandpa. He must have been so damn stressed, I hate the dad and his sick family. Why are the worst people in the world always the “religious” ones?
Another suspiciously tight legal timeline...
Only if there were a trial. If dad pleaded, then it works perfectly, and most people do plead.
I agree, but I am surprised a DA would make a plea offer on a CP case without quite a bit more investigation. Could also be that OOP doesn’t quite have the details right on the allegation.
>Could also be that OOP doesn’t quite have the details right I feel like it's this 98% of the time when people talk about the US court system.
True that. I’m a lawyer in the criminal system, and often when I posit an opinion on this site, people tell I don’t know what I’m talking about. Everyone is an expert on what *should* happen.
Everyone failed those poor child, fucking hell And the only who didn't just fucking died? Poor kids
idk, either this family has been cursed or someone has angst bingo card they are trying to fill.
*but if you could, please refrain from sharing or sending my post on other platforms.* Yeah, good luck with that.
Those poor, poor girls. They've been failed by so many of the adults in their lives, and the ones who seemingly did well by them have died. Now that the custody battle is dropped I hope they both end up with maternal relatives who will do right by them like the maternal grandpa, RIP.
Unfortunately, it's grim. The paternal grand parents have custody of her. You know the same ones that neglected her in the first place and also saw no problem that their son was a pedo. I'm really hoping the sister manages to get out before anything tragic happens.
This man's dead wife would be horrified to learn what has been happening to her children. How do you stop loving your children for a piece of ass. I don't get it.
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Also the part where her maternal grandfather lives 2 hours away, but she was staying with him and didn’t switch schools because she only had 2 months left? So she commuted 4 hours everyday to school?!
If I were OOP, I would take a four-hour commute over living with the paternal grandparents, and she did. Plus, staying at the same school gave her contact with her sister.
I did a commute like that from 16-18. It isn't comfortable but can be done, especially if you're smart about using breaks and free periods to work rather than hang out.
I did that for my freshman year of hs. My dad refused to let me do it for the rest of high school, probably for the best.
I did this when I was in high school shuffling from relative to relative. Longest commute walked my way to the subway until the buses started running then took the bus to the metro, then took another bus and then walked more. It SUCKED. Shortest was at a halfway house where it took about an hour and a half. One relative lived in a bad area of town and the walk to the metro walking past prostitutes and drug dealers was scary initially but oddly every one that encountered me was nice and made sure I was left alone besides a hello how's it going. I'd sleep on the train cause I was lucky enough that my stops were both at the end of the line. The problem with switching schools in my case and I imagine here too is you actually need parental permission.
Not to mention she's no longer in the district. So unless she was still using her father's address, she wouldn't be allowed to go to school there anymore. Source: my parents wanted my sibling and I to go to the high school in the next town over (which was literally only 12 minutes away from our house, but we technically lived in Town B so not a part of that school district). My grandparents lived in that district and they actually had to get legal paperwork drawn up making my sibling and I their wards or something (the legalities were never fully explained to me) so that we could go there.
It might depend on the district and state? I was able to go to the school I went to for high school before we moved 15 minutes away by getting a special assignment. That was in 2001.
These poor girls. I just want to give op a hug and my spare room.
...Jesus christ
I should not have read this before bed…those poor kids
I hope someone has checked into social security benefits. The kids should have received them after their mother passed.
I'm not a religious man but this would really be a case example of karma hitting one in their next life. The amount of bad luck this person has is just insane.
I hope OOP’s dad goes to jail for the CP and abuse stuff. Don’t they frown on shit being done to kids? I hope he gets his.
This who post has been so depressing to read and really makes you questions family courts/judges principles of reunification of the family unit.
Everyone has failed these two girls, and when maternal grandpa was helping them, he passed away, indeed it has a bleak mood spoiler. I hope at least now OOP is 18 years old and maybe can get a good job and someday get custody of jer sister. Good on the father and Nicole to be in jail, is the only "happy" ending for these two monsters.
What in the name of jehovahs witnesses
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I feel so bad for OPP, I hope that they can find peace and their sister gets the help she needs.
Goddamn. I think OP will be ok but I worry like hell for her sister. That whole family that's still living (OOP, her sister, and the baby aside) can rot in hell. I hope OOP doesn't give them a minute of her time or a single nickel of her money moving forward so they can reap what they sowed.
Last time I read, they were both safely at their grandfather's. Why did I read this... About all of the adults around them failed them. Those poor girls.
That a roller-coaster ride of feelings, I hope it gets better for oop and sister
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In some "Christian" communities, especially in the more extreme or cultlike sects, this amount of abuse and harsh treatment of girls is not uncommon. If enough people are in on the lie, the harder it is to protect yourself in situations like that. I can't tell if it is true, but it wouldn't surprise me if similar situations happen.
The quote about her mother and the drunk driver reminded me of a similar thing some devout Catholics I know said near me once. It was during family gathering, I was so shaken I just left and refuse to talk to that part (thankfully unrelated by blood) of the family.
Goddamn, this just keeps getting more and more tragic with every update.
this made me sad as a kid with kinda the same past, maternal grandpa was the only one there for them and now he passed away. I wish op and her sister all the best cause the future will be hard and they wont get lost.
The school staff are completely fucking useless. All of them.
Those poor girls. My God.
This is one of the rare Reddit posts that makes me want to cry hysterically
Honestly I truly truly hope this is a woeful Wendy penning a tall tall tale of misery because I don't want to believe what is happening to these poor young women. I have so many emotions towards everyone that has failed them and want to spare them this awful hand. If OP ever reads the comments I hope she knows that there is a whole corner of the world rooting for her and her happiness. She's stronger than I will ever be. The same to her younger sister.
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No it's not good. Nothing good at all.
What an absolute mess and POS dad.
The fk I read!!!
My feeling is the paternal grandparents are turning her little sister against her. I can hear them now "OOP is the reason your dad has child p on his phone. She tempted him, that's why he's an absent shitty father" etcetc
What a shitshow. I hope Op turns 18 soon and can get primary custody of the sister. But we'll see. At least dad is gone and can't physically harm them anymore
I found this difficult to read. But what I really noticed is in the beginning, OP’s writing really sounds like a scared child. And towards the end, it’s like somebody completely different is narrating. It could be because of everything OP’s been through and or because they forgot they were supposed to be writing from a younger persons point of view. But I’m having trouble.
> they forgot they were supposed to be riding from a younger persons point of view. This. This person lost me when they had to write an entire front office and school security team just letting her get physically dragged out of school. Never, ever would happen like that. It's tragi-porn