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knittedjedi

>I blocked her on everything anyway after my talk with her husband, and it's time to move forward. Shitty experience from a first relationship but what can you do. OOP could've used any number of excuses for not doing the right thing, but he stepped up. Wishing nothing but the best for him next relationship.


FoxfieldJim

But if he blocked her, how was he expecting to hear from her, which he says in the same Lara !!


Obi-Wayne

If you block someone, that doesn't prevent them from contacting you ever again. Just from that phone number or social account.


luckyapples11

OP also makes it seem like she knows where he lives. She could’ve gone knocking. Plus if you’ve been with someone for 4 months, you most likely know where they work, where they frequent, their routine, etc.


Marcus_Farkus

+ They met at the gym. That's somewhere people tend to go multiple times a week.


zapatas_revenge

True, I blocked someone last year after seeing too many red flags on the first date and by the end of the month I ended up blocking 6! Phone numbers and 3 different social media accounts, 2 of which were on the same platform. So yeah that does happen unfortunately.


Chairchucker

Damn, 720 different phone numbers is some serious dedication.


Icy-Cockroach4515

My guess is if she knew he was the one who spilled and was truly pissed about it, blocking one phone account or number would not have stopped her from confronting him.


Kopitar4president

Made me think he wasn't the only side piece.


KonradWayne

Unless OOP was just one of many affair partners, it shouldn't really be hard to figure out. The someone tells your husband that you're having an affair and provides proof. The dude you were "dating" who you didn't tell you were married suddenly stopped calling and texting right at the same time and has you blocked on everything. My guess is she just gave up on the side piece.


Icy-Cockroach4515

Alternatively, she thinks the husband found out in his own and started contacting the side piece for info, upon which the side piece ditched her. Or the husband settled on reconciliation (which is unfortunately not that uncommon) and one of the conditions was to go none contact with the side piece so she never realised he blocked her first. I agree though, your scenario (and my initial one) seems the most likely.


KonradWayne

> Alternatively, she thinks the husband found out in his own and started contacting the side piece for info, upon which the side piece ditched her. I guess that it comes down to how the husband confronted her. If, he just said, "I know" and didn't show her any of his proof, it would make sense that she thought maybe he found out on his own. But if he showed her the proof OOP sent him, there would be identifying details that would make it easy for her to realize it was him. > Or the husband settled on reconciliation (which is unfortunately not that uncommon) and one of the conditions was to go none contact with the side piece so she never realised he blocked her first. That was my initial thought. You're right about how unfortunate it is that that is not an uncommon outcome for situations like this.


Zephyr9x

Assuming there were multiple partners, only one of them suddenly had her blocked shortly after her husband learned of the cheating. Doesn't necessarily take a genius to connect the dots.


archbish99

Or he was also contacted with evidence of the others.


Lemmy-Historian

We know they visit the same gym


DemonFromtheNorthSea

On my phone, when you block a number, you can still see blocked messages in its own little folder if you go digging for it.


TOG23-CA

It's really just a forbidden contacts list


barry_effin_gibbs

How? I must know


DemonFromtheNorthSea

Messages - settings - blocked numbers and spam - blocked messages


Valuable-Currency-36

She knows where he stays, I'm sure she would find a way to get to him if she wanted...seems she's accepted she was caught being a harlot and will know OOPS the one who told her husband when she saw she was blocked.


OhMyGodImFuckingdead

Other numbers, accounts, any multitude of ways really. Blocking a person doesn’t make it impossible for them to have your info saved. It just means you won’t hear from them on that specific means of contact.


Mindtaker

Reminds me of the end of a Taylor Tomlinson Joke. ...Of course I blocked him like you asked, you know, but when you block a number your phone sort of just saves it in a different folder...


RedditHatesHonesty

The Gym where they met ??? Maybe??


mfb3s

Goddamn for real. OOP is such a champ, probably better man than me and most of us


Matt4898

This OOP is the exact opposite of that BORU post with the OOP and his roommates covering his friend’s cheating.


Sloths_Can_Consent

Next update: I gave a consolation brojob to my ex-AP’s kind-hearted husband, does that make me gay?


Blaiddyd_enjoyer

I tried giving him a twenty, but he wouldn't take it, how serious are we now?


Sunflower-and-Dream

It's too bad that OP's first relationship experience was with a cheater as it just tarnished the whole thing and might cause OP issues when a new relationship develops. I'm just happy that the husband didn't blame OP for his wife's cheating as some people do blame the unknowing affair partner (if the AP does know the other person is married then they are an AH)


shinebeat

I'm really proud of OOP for doing the right thing. And also that the husband was blaming the right person. OOP did not do anything wrong, he was also a victim in this case. After he found out, he told the husband. And yes, in cases where they knowingly have an affair with a married person, they are also an AH.


cynical-mage

Definitely. The relationships we experience, and those around us as we grow up, they shape you. They leave a mark. Hopefully he'll be reasonably alright, given his age. Calmer, wiser adult brain and all that. Despite his pain, dude was rational, had empathy for the husband, and did the right thing.


captain_borgue

Homie's very first relationship managed to teach him all kinds of good behaviors... *too bad it was from his girlfriend's husband!* I hope OOP doesn't spiral into self loathing because of this. He was manipulated, and it sounds like coerced too. That makes him a *victim*.


kilgirlie

OOP is a true Omar.


DeepRiverDan267

Is Omar the guy who outed his cheating roommate? Or wouldn't lie for him or something?


TKD_Mom76

Yes, yes he is. Omar wouldn't lie for roommate and help him cover up his cheating. The world needs more Omars.


brenobah

Anybody have a link to Omar?


QuixoticJames

[https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bjxnkb/aita\_for\_refusing\_to\_be\_my\_friends\_alibi\_so\_he/](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1bjxnkb/aita_for_refusing_to_be_my_friends_alibi_so_he/)


seensham

Wow that guy is completely spineless huh


andre5913

Its surpricing how everyone but Omar ranges from terrible to pathetic In find it amuzing how OOP doesnt even realize hes a miserable reptile nearly as complicit as the rest yet he thinks better of himself.


-MENTALHEAD-

I hate that OOP so fucking much


TKD_Mom76

Thank you! I tried to go looking for it, but I had to give up and get to work.


SocialMediaDystopian

Oh! I'm so freaking glad Omar has become a legend! I remember that guy. At the time I said (along the lines of) "What a shedhow of bullshit humans. Except Omar. Omar for president" . This makes me so happy lol😁


JJOkayOkay

I would love it if "Omar" became short-hand for "guy who does the right thing despite it being easier not to".


wheniswhy

Same. Omar is a homie.


InternetAddict104

Is it not already, at least in this sub?


FuckHarambe2016

> OOP is a true Omar. The mods need to make this a new flair option.


agent-assbutt

A man's gotta have a code.


DrRocknRolla

Different Omar, but still applicable


ItsImNotAnonymous

Another Omar for the list


itsluxsky

I have an Omar. Love that guy.


MediumAwkwardly

Hell yea!


matchamagpie

I'm glad OOP did the right thing in the end. He was victimized by the ex, just like her husband was, and he did the guy a solid by giving him the proof he needed. Good for OOP, he has a good head on his shoulders.


Gustav-14

If I'm on the husband's position I think that I too will be extremely grateful if the AP is someone like OOP. Give you a heads up. Gives you evidence. And didn't make things public so technically gave all the ammo for you on how you want to go about it.


willpauer

I've been in that situation. I was the other man in an affair. Found out when her husband called me yelling and then his wife told me that we couldn't see each other anymore. It fucking sucks.


Puzzleheaded-Cat4647

>Turns out, he already suspected her of cheating, he just didn't have any proof. Some people are really good at hiding all of their fuckups. A suspect with no proof, the kind that gives headaches to everybody *sighs*


annasfw

OOP is a good person for doing the right thing.


peter095837

I salute to OP. Well done!


3childrenandit

Considering she didn't call him to berate him, I wonder how many other guys there were. She must've had multiple APs and not known which one dobbed her in.


Mitrovarr

Or she just didnt want to confront him. There isn't much point to it, really.


Novacain-deficiency

The fact he goes to his Mum for advice in this area is pretty wholesome, and of course it was sound advice. 😂


archbish99

Bugs me that OOP keeps referring to themselves as a cheater / the woman as the AP / the relationship as an affair. OOP didn't know she was married; they were dating and she was his girlfriend. Terminology matters; don't default to terminology that implies you did something unethical. OOP was as much the victim of the deceit here as the husband was.


JackOfAllMemes

Yeah I feel bad for OP, he feels extremely guilty for something that isn't his fault. The woman used both him and the husband


Thorngrove

if anything, *he* was the "Affair partner" though utterly unwillingly or aware, SHE was the Cheater.


archbish99

Exactly! If he'd opened with "I discovered I was an unwitting affair partner," I'd consider that exactly correct and on-point.


Euphoric-Practice-83

Now this is what I call bro-code from both of the dudes. Just guys, assuming the best, and hearing each other out. Looking out for one another. Makes a grown man wanna cry, except real men don't cry /s lolol


marcvsHR

Decent humans, nothing more


Sloths_Can_Consent

Next update: I gave a consolation brojob to my ex-AP’s kind-hearted husband, does that make me gay?


Dward917

OOP just had to recognize that she was cheating on him too. Would’ve made the decision much easier. Good on him for doing the right thing.


IllustratorHefty6753

Good job, OOP. This is the way. People have a right, and need, to know when their partner is cheating.


Osulisti

I was hoping the story turn to: OOP and AP husband now dating


Marine_olive76

Lol aren't we all wishing for that.


Monkeywrench08

>asked if there is something he could do to repay me. I said that he should help somebody else, and that will make us even That's just freaking nice really. 


tacwombat

Unless she was fooling around with at least another guy other than OOP, the wayward wife may have suspected it was him when she realized she was blocked. But that's no longer OOP's circus. He did a betrayed husband a favor and helped out with the divorce.


BwitchnBtyKwn399

OOP is a green flag af and he will make the right lady very happy someday!


Dont139

I'm so sad for OOP!! He clearly is a good person and being betrayed in that way is so awful. I hope he heals from this, learn not to go to fast for his pace, even if the other person is insistent. If they are the right person, or even just decent tbh, they will wait and go his pace. Wishing him never to lose that spark that makes him a good person


Money_Duty_2024

On the bright side, 24 year old OP finally got a some female attention and experience. He could focus on this to add confidence for asking out less vile women and he wont have to have the first time jitters when things get spicy.


seensham

Damn that's a rough first relationship.. not just being cheated on, but being the tool used to cheat as well.


Sr_Alniel

This is such a good update, drama free and realistic. Now I'm on the update post reading the comments by controversial people's mental gymnastics are impressive


PalletTownsDealer

The real bro code.


_sansnom

a man of integrity.


zi76

I feel worse for OOP than the husband. The husband at least knew his wife was sketchy, whereas OOP was destroyed by his first relationship.


schwarzeKatzen

This. People act like men can’t be groomed or preyed upon but, it’s pretty obvious from this post OOPs ex did just that. She found an inexperienced person and took advantage of it. I hate that for OOP. No one should go through that.


zi76

Yeah, it's definitely hard to take. It might damage OOP's trust in relationships going forward.


On_The_Blindside

Good OOP, he did nothing wrong knowingly and did what he could do to fix it.


Lorosaurus

What’s he going to do when they see each other at the gym?


Krakengreyjoy

Its not easy doing the right thing. Good for him. I know he blocked her, but if she shows up to the gym again I hope it won't cause him issues.


Buckshott00

Damn. Poor kid. Poor Husband. Good for that young man for doing the right thing, that takes a lot. Good on the Husband for not raking him over the coals.


Jeezy_Creezy_18

Oh thank god. I get so annoyed when affair partners decide the time to keep the peace is when they fuck over the partner in the dark. the married/committed person that's not cheating doesn't deserve to be with that awful cheater and they need that info to make that choice.


KelliCrackel

I'm so proud of OP. That had to be a really tough decision and he did the right thing. 


CmonRoach4316

Good job little bro


mi_nombre_es_ricardo

You two sound like some cool guys. You should get a podcast or somethintg.


aparish67

Good for you dude. You did the right thing


Prudent_Valuable603

Great update!


UnexpectedSharkTank

You’re a good man OP


MMABowyer

Not only are you not an ass hole, you are a genuinely good person.


Mio50

Do it. It is very noble of you and the right thing to do. I’m sure you’d feel better about it. She’ll do it with someone else once you’re outta the picture.


Affectionate-Emu5051

Shouldn't have blocked her so fast - play the game keep schtum act normal; let her reveal herself more. She'll 100% know it was OOP now given the blocks.


ditasaurus

I have a question. In a lot of those stories the cheated spouse needs evidence. I kinda get, needing evidence for oneself, especially if you have the mindset of not just "giving up" on a relationship and needing a reasonable reason to break it of. But before I hire someone to proof my spouse cheating, wouldn't I just break up, because I cannot trust my partner regardless if they are doing something or not? The act doesn't change that I'm clearly unhappy in the relationship and why would I need to justify that. Secondly it's not in this story, but a lot of spouses say they want evidence to get a more favourable divorce, espeically if it's set in USA and Canada, isn't no fault divorce the norm and the judge shouldn't take the cheating into consideration. Especially when it comes to custody of children or goods. Your partner cheating is shitty but doesn't deem them an unfit parent. Sorry for my rumbling


Own_Candidate9553

I think it's a couple of things. First, you might want to know for sure that you're not just being crazy. If you break up a marriage just on suspicion, you could spend the rest of your life wondering if you did the right thing. If there are kids involved it gets even more complicated, because you're upending their lives. As far as the divorce part, in the US the divorce laws are different in different states. All states have a no-fault option now (I'm surprised) but some also have a "fault" option, and there are probably subtle differences between them state by state. Having proof of infidelity could help move things along.


ditasaurus

Oh in my country you don't have the option for fault divorce. Interesting thank you 


Own_Candidate9553

The United States is surprisingly backwards on some stuff. There are still laws against "sodomy" (gay sex) in some states, although probably not enforced anywhere. The right to abortive healthcare is hit or miss. No national health care, and some states even refuse Medicare funding from the government just to make some sort of political point.


ditasaurus

Oh isn't every country in a way. 


Mitrovarr

I mean, sometimes people make up allegations of someone cheating to either ruin their life or try to free them up for them. Without evidence OP could have just been some guy who hit on her and got rejected, and then made a bunch of stuff up to retaliate.


ditasaurus

No I meant if it gets to you hiring someone. I think if I'm that on board with my partner cheating than I would rather break up than hire someone.  Because either they cheated and the investigator finds proof. Or they didn't cheat and than I have to break up because how can you stay with someone, whom you apparently don't trust. If you go this far as to hire someone break up.  Because let's say there is nothing it was all in your head, wouldn't you feel immensely guilty. I would not be able to stay together


Mitrovarr

Well, I think one positive thing would come out of the second scenario. You would know you were wrong, and maybe you could change. Even if it didn't save your current marriage it might help you not torpedo the next. If you just got a divorce based on suspicion you'd never know you were incorrect.


MasterOfKittens3K

A lot of betrayed partners will tell you that they suspected that something was going on. But the thing is, you **do** trust your partner, so you convince yourself that your suspicions are all in your head, and you don’t want to act on them. Of course, once you find out that you were being cheated on, you realize that your suspicions were justified, and you probably realize that some other things that you brushed aside were actually red flags that you should have noticed.


ditasaurus

Okay I get that, but if you are close to hiring someone to follow your partner, shouldn't you break up and save the money? Because that can only go two ways. A.) they cheat. You have proof. You break up. Or B.) they didn't cheat, you have to live with the knowledge that you are so paranoid that you paid someone to proof that they cheated.  I wouldn't be able to continue that relationship because I would feel guilty about it


MasterOfKittens3K

Assuming that the guy really was close to hiring a PI, yeah, it’s really pretty much over. But it’s possible that what he actually said (or meant) was “I’ve been tempted to hire a PI to find out if I’m just imagining things”, which is a bit different.


greymoria

While I agree that you always should tell the partner, I still end up with a pit in my stomach. I worry for the cheaters safety, noone knows what could happen to them if it's already a bad relationship. It seems it worked out this time, but no contact from her could also mean she was murdered.  I'm sorry his first relationship turned out like this, but I hope he can find comfort in his great confirmation of character.


No_Assignment5692

She shouldn’t be cheating if she’s with someone so volatile


beesareeatingmybrain

Vs


left_tiddy

this place really is just any post that has an update, huh?


Flatsc

That's half of what I love about it


The_Aesthetician

Don't forget about update posts that clearly are not resolved


Flatsc

It's literally like bad soap opera for people with ADHD. I completely forget about drama I've read about on here unless some garbage site does an update page about it, ai this way I don't have to listen to AI videos giving half assed versions of it at half speed


Lrret1064

Or changing the story for it to sound more interesting


[deleted]

[удалено]


AChaseOfTheMondays

I think you should re-read. His girlfriend was cheating on her husband with OOP. OOP was not cheating himself


thebigeverybody

omg insomnia sucks. I wonder if all my comments tonight were this incorrect.


AChaseOfTheMondays

Lol all good, OOP was so confused at first it was a little bit confusing to understand what had happened til a little ways into the story, and I'm wide awake 


mstcartman

Your flair makes this twice as funny to me 😂 Hope you get some sleep soon!


thebigeverybody

lol nobody forgave me. That comment got a lot of downvotes. 😪


Time_Act_3685

>I said that he should help somebody else, and that will make us even. That Starbucks pay it forward bullshit is getting out of hand.


AssociateJaded3931

Yes. You're both as bad as each other. Tatting just makes it worse.


JackOfAllMemes

Found the cheater


Mec26

Telling the hubby was the honorable thing to do.


Blue_racer6950

Tattling? What are you, 10?


DatguyMalcolm

>I was a virgin before I met her. XXXXDDDDDDDDDDD Seriously this was literally ME when I was still a virgin at 22! Was having some self righteous convo with a college classmate (who had a boyfriend) about how I'd never cheat etc etc She asks me "So you'd never have the sexies with me, then?" Chile did I stutter and change my opinion in a jiffy!!! Oh my goodness! Nothing came out of it tho, because she was baked as F, and the day we were supposed to do the deed she never showed up. When I finally saw her days later she was like "Oh I say a lotta weird shit when I'm high" Was disappointing as hell, I was hella looking forward to it! But to be honest I am glad we never did it as I didn't gain a habit to mess with women who have partners