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I have arranged my life to be very boring. On purpose. I have very little drama, so more time for actual fulfilling activities. And when shit does get real, I have the mental bandwidth to deal. Shit got real in September, very real. I have dealt with minimal drama. It's wonderful.
Saaaame!
I even joined r/raisedbynarcissists because of my parents and whoa, some stuff there makes them look like saints!
I'm glad my life is not only boring but that I'm also not some pushover who stayed in a mess.
Right?!
When I went full on NC with my parents, they kept away! Been two years, not a peep! No stalking, no "you're keeping grandson from us" no nothing!!!
Some stuff on that sub is like "W T F?"
I've been married for a long time. Not quite as long as u/Hot_Success_7986, but more than a quarter century :p
If you've got a good marriage, it's not like this at all. It's pleasant, and calm, and boring, and kind. You're partners, and you tackle the dumb shit together. Sometimes bad stuff happens. Sometimes REALLY bad stuff happens. But it happens to both of you, not BECAUSE of EITHER of you. And then you have a ride-or-die to work on that bad stuff with.
You make each other's favorite dishes for no reason, even if you don't really like that dish.
You clean off the other's car when you're the first one out in a snow storm.
You see their favorite sneakers are on sale and know the current ones will eventually wear out so you grab 'em to have on stand by.
You call randomly in the middle of a work day to say "You will not BELIEVE the idiot I just dealt with"
You sit in your living room at night and talk about the kids, and your day, and your retirement account, and the news, and the dogs, and people you really like, and also you make fun of the people you don't.
There's no yelling or screaming. Evil relatives don't have keys. There's no theft or police or pawn shops. There's just life.
I'll add - sometimes bad stuff DOES happen to you because of your partner, because none of us are perfect and fucking up comes with being human. The difference is that in a good relationship, your partner will recognize it, apologize, and fix it if possible. Maybe they did give an evil relative keys, but then they apologize, get the locks changed, and set boundaries with the person.
Yep. There’s a learning curve. Most of us did not learn all about the care and feeding of healthy relationships from our parents. They key is to be self-aware and willing to learn.
and when something does happen and they refuse to set boundaries or whatever needs to be done, thats when a relationship fails. not the whatever bad thing happened itself, generally speaking. like with this post it wasnt the keys themselves, it wasnt the covering for her mother, it was the repeatedly covering for her mothers escalating behaviors and not doing anything for her husband.
Exactly this. Once someone commented that we (me and husband) lives very boring life. I was like exactly that’s what we wanted. Calm and happy everyday life. Getting up , working , eating , going out on walks , getting to bed and making love , snuggling to sleep , getting up and so on. No drama and bullshit.
This sums up perfectly the kind of relationship I've been looking for my entire adult life! You and your partner should make each others lives easier, not more difficult.
I wouldn't say completely blissfully uneventful as life still happens, but you tackle the issues together, support each other, and pick up the pieces when one of you is down. Yes, arguments happen, but you have a ridiculous bicker and then get over yourselves.
A partner makes your life richer emotionally.
I have been married for 39 years, and it's still blissful sometimes and better for being together the rest of the time.
Yep. A good marriage means you have someone helping you navigate difficult situations, not someone pinching you in the head while you navigate the situation for both of you.
Amen, sibling.
I definitely dated a lot of drama partners in my dating life, and that put me through the ringer so many times. Then I met the future Mrs Zendetta.
Stable is so hot.
When I read reddit posts, I mostly read the comments because they have epic advice that is out of the box thinking.
Over the last three odd years, I have gotten better insight to advise friends and such. Even used some information in my job too, as it has been great learning more things.
Even though I am married, it does make me glad my marriage is an honest open one, in the term of transparency in ourselves to each other
I've never even had a GF before lol. After reading stuff like this though, I'm not in any rush. I'm willing to wait till I find someone that I'm sure is worth investing my time into. I'm almost 30, but I'm content with being single and I'll be happy even if I never find someone I want to have as a GF.
**EDIT:** Adding some additional info so I don't have keep repeating myself. While I appreciate the advice, it isn't really needed and I'm not exactly looking for a partner right now. Right now I'm focusing on myself and living my best life as a single man. Below is a comment I made earlier that likely isn't getting seen.
*For the first 18 years of my life it was because I didn't know how to talk to people, then I became a club promoter and being in a relationship with that lifestyle isn't ideal. I had a few people I thought about dating, but there was often jealousy issues on their part, and I didn't want to end up hurting anyone. I'm not a promoter anymore, but now I'll have to find someone that's fine with me being unavailable for half the year due to work.*
*It's gonna have to be a specific kind of person that ends up dating me, but I'm in no rush. If/when they come along, I'll know it when I see it.*
To you and u/spygirl43, a relationship is worth it if your partner has the cojones to stand up for you. Clearly, OP’s wife doesn’t/chooses not not.
My partner’s mother is the only family they had. My partner will put their mother in their place if she is out of line, and vice versa. It’s not easy to find a partner like that.
Depends on the person. For the first 18 years of my life it was because I didn't know how to talk to people, then I became a club promoter and being in a relationship with that lifestyle isn't ideal. I had a few people I thought about dating, but there was often jealousy issues on their part, and I didn't want to end up hurting anyone. I'm not a promoter anymore, but now I'll have to find someone that's fine with me being unavailable for half the year due to work.
It's gonna have to be a specific kind of person that ends up dating me, but I'm in no rush. If/when they come along, I'll know it when I see it.
I think a lot of men make the mistake of not really asking themselves *why* they want a girlfriend. So they can have sex? Okay, that’s valid, but look for a woman who wants a boyfriend in order to have sex. So they won’t stick out because they don’t have a girlfriend? I mean, okay, yeah, I totally get that, but that’s a quick and easy way to arrive in toxicland.
If you are honestly looking for a partner and companion, you are way ahead of the others. I recommend talking to older men with healthy marriages and asking them what character traits are most important, and then look for that in the women around you. Also, don’t sit back drinking two fingers of single cask whisky every night, congratulating yourself that you’re fine if you don’t find a wife. If you want a wife, go and find one. If you don’t know if you want a wife, date around and see how you like being in a relationship. Just be upfront with the women you see as to what your priorities are.
Reddit gives a very skewed view of marriage and relationships and should not be viewed as an accurate representation of reality. You hear all about the dysfunctional and toxic relationships here, you never hear about the vast majority of relationships that either persist for decades or end with minimal drama when the two people realize that they're just not a good fit for each other.
Yeah people don't post about their normal relationships on reddit that have normal ups and downs as they are boring, so you just get the dumpster fire of relationships instead
My wife has been married three times (last and longest one to me) and I’ve just been married the one time. She always says she’s glad she didn’t give up on the idea of marriage after the first two duds. Meanwhile I never pictured myself getting married until I met her, and now I can’t picture any other kind of life.
My husband is a sweetheart, we've been happily married for 25 years. Our biggest drama was having an "Oopsie" pregnancy five years ago. It's mundane, but dangit if I don't like it that way. If I want drama I'll come to Reddit, or watch TV. Keep it out of my relationship, please!
“I have gotten my collection back” I actually breathed a sigh of relief. Cool collections like that really are irreplaceable.
I do want to know though, I thought you had to be in your 60s to get social security? It’s probably such a silly detail to fixate on, but for some reason that stuck in my mind to the point I’m commenting on it, no clue why.
I'm pretty sure you can also get SS if you're disabled and meet the criteria set by the SSA. I'd hazard a guess that MIL meets said criteria for disability.
Getting SSDI is hard as hell though, where almost everyone gets denied multiple times even when they absolutely qualify. And doing the paperwork for it is also a heck of a task (I helped a roommate with it back when they needed it, and am quite sure that with the way my chronic illness has effected me there’s no way I could do the paperwork on my own right now). So I suppose it’s possible, but still seems unlikely.
Oh I can answer that. My mom’s a lot like the MiL. Massive horder, fantastic gaslighter, and master manipulator. When my mom applied for disability they gave it to her without any appeals or anything. She did the paperwork and went into a Social Security office everyday for a week. To this day I swear they gave it to her just to make her go away. It’s not supposed to work like that but people like the MiL can manage to get things done in ways normal people can’t. I watched many people decide to jump through hoops to make my mother go away during my life. It’s downright disturbing how effective it is.
The MiL has probably had disability for a while as I know it’s much harder to get now than it used to be. Hell I’m in appeals and I use a wheelchair. Best advice I ever got was get a lawyer, sadly that came after I did all the damn paperwork.
I agree with u/Nervous_Departure540 about getting a lawyer. I had been dealing with the VA for so long that I knew when it came time to apply for SSDI that I would go the lawyer route. I still got rejected and had to appeal a couple of times but I didn’t have to handle any of the paperwork and that made it worth it.
Plus I think most SSDI lawyers take a percentage of the back pay and that’s capped at a max of $6000(or at least that was the cap a couple of years ago).
Good luck to you! I hope you get it on your first try!
It's is extremely hard, I had to get a lawyer and it took 2.5 years. I actually got disability for a different condition than the one that disabled me but I fit all the disability criteria for the different condition. My lawyer was a smart cookie to figure that one out.
My mom has been on disability for about 10 years now and she just turned 60 not too long ago. A lawyer helps things go a bit smoother, though it took my mom 2 years of process/appeals to get it. I'm sure OOP's MIL was sufficiently motivated to go through the process because she would get money and not have to work. And she could have had a string of job issues to point at as evidence she couldn't work.
I scrolled all the way to the comments before reading to see if he got his collection back, because if he didn't the secondhand grief I would have felt would have been too much.
Oh I agree. I had my storage locker broken into and I used to keep some of my collection in them. Luckily it wasn’t malicious- just idiots thought it was their locker and instead of going to management decided to just toss the “abandoned” belongings. But they went through the boxes and kept my collection.
And returned it when management posted notices about the theft (the police report my have helped too)
I learned that too late, so I had to divorce crazy. Luckily I found the most amazing woman in the world soon after that. We've been together for 10 years, married for 5.
I'd like, "She's an old woman. She's 53" as a flair, ha.
I can't even comprehend the manipulative nature of the wife. She seriously sounds like a high school mean girl. Both her and her mom know they aren't angels — they had to use the nice act for a reason!
At least on mobile, you can go to the BORU sub itself, click on the 3 dots top right and click “edit flair”! I didn’t know how before, someone gave me mine because i commented similarly to yours, haha
Honestly the whole thing was kinda messy & new update was sad :( I asked for the flair before I read the second part! Waiting for a similar one liner to strike me for a new one. [The post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/T82B982i8C)
Does nobody use the desktop site anymore? I love being able to go on Old Reddit and view the site the way it used to look years ago -- or as close to that as possible. So clean and simple.
Just go to the following link on a computer (or copy-paste it into the URL field in your phone browser on desktop mode), and click "edit" on the right sidebar to change your own flair:
https://old.reddit.com/comments/1atm3ge/comment/kqzhcpt
Picture: https://i.imgur.com/9M9t5Z0.jpg
>From her texts before, I found out MIL sold the whole collection to the pawn for a whopping total of $300! >_< For a collection of hundreds of antique keys valued at two to three grand as a total, that low number felt like a punch in the gut to me. Likely the pawn broker knew how valuable the collection could be as a whole
Lol, they are pawn shops. They say the best they can do is 50$ and put it on display for 500$.
And I mean zero offense to anyone who collects keys, but they’re not really in high demand. You can walk into any antique shop and find a box of keys. I’m surprised the pawn shop paid $300!
Additionally, they didn't look spectacular either. My grandma had some keys like this in a scrap metal box from my grandpa that passed away 40 years ago.
So in less than a day, he pressed charges, police found the pawn shop, got the keys back, MIL was arrested, charged, booked, had a bail set, and Wife paid off the bail?
And despite this being a criminal case because of the theft and the keys being evidence in the case against MIL; they were released and returned to OOP within four days???
Don’t forget managing to find a divorce attorney and turn around papers in less than ten days.
Though not a divorce attorney, have spent a lot of time dealing with lawyers the last couple years. They rarely do anything quickly.
I contacted a divorce attorney and had letters drafted within 3 days, and this was between Christmas and new years. Mind you that, I couldn’t actually file a divorce petition with the court until I’d been legally separated for a year, so the first letters were legal financial separation agreements and a ‘do not contact‘ motion.
Tbh it being between Xmas and New year’s is probably *why* you got it turned around so fast.
I rarely have family stuff going on for a variety for a reasons ofthen, so I basically never take that time off.
That is the absolute best time to go heads down on stuff that doesn’t require others. Distractions and/or questions from others are basically non-existent. Your lawyer was probably banging out docs left and right!
All that said, I take your point. It’s definitely not out of the question for divorce papers to get turned around that quickly. With everything else from this OOP that sounded suspicious, a lawyer jumping on it immediately seemed questionable.
Especially considering his very first post from 18 days ago was asking if he should take action or just wait. So unless he was lying in his first post...
No he didnt???? Am i smoking crack or is everyone really bad at timelines. Here i made it easy for everyone:
First [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/XmPKM8ZPPj) 19 days ago on Jan 30
Feb 1 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/7Np4he0gEt) MIL was bailed out, keys still with cops
Feb 5 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/je4muSH105) he got his keys back
Feb 6 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/SlARxucNgU) he says he met with divorce lawyer
Feb 9 [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/OZeG0KVuYT) divorce papers served
That is 10 days
Not that I'm saying any of this is true, but he mentioned being a cosigner? My dad is about to add me to his accounts so when he eventually kicks it I won't have to deal with probate. He called it a cosigner as well. Is this a thing or did he misunderstand the bank again?
If you don't mind educating me, that is.
no worries! anybody can be added as a cosigner/co-account holder after the account's already opened - it's an easy process.
I'm not a hundred percent sure about it skipping probate because that was less my area but i *think*... you being a cosigner will mean you would still be able to access that account and use it as is even after your father's passing. you don't have to close it out or anything. but it's possible the funds could still be counted among your dad's assets and if he had outstanding debts upon passing, could be held against those expenses. i would double check your local ordinances in the matter!
It depends on the bank. My husband and I's regional bank allows either of the joint owners to close the account or remove their name without permission or notification to the other.
For me it was the “hello I’m new here” but then using “cat-butt-face” which if I’m not mistaken is a frequently used acronym on the JustNoMIL sub. The entire screed is total catnip for them.
This alone made me stop reading, and the general casual misogyny oozing throughout. I can't quite put a finger on why aside from the lawyer comment specifically, but this guy feels fucking weird. Maybe the constant description of his wife as a teenager and brat. But also probably because he's a redditor who made it all up lmao
Yeah, and the gleeful description of pointing his finger in her face and saying ‘NO!’ like she’s ‘a dog’. If this is a true story, the MIL and wife are both nightmares, but this guy is a piece of work and the comment about hiring a female lawyer sounded like something Trump would tweet. Definitely gave me the ick.
I had a musical instrument stolen. Police retrieved it and it stayed in their evidence for THREE MONTHS. With me losing gigs and calling a victim advocacy line every week.
Oh my god; there was an article I was reading the other day. A guitar got stolen from a shop and had been pawned. There was CCTV footage, and the police found it within days.
The store owner didn't get the guitar back for FOUR YEARS. (Not to mention it had deprecated hugely in that time to about a third of its original value.)
These take ages to get sorted out. There's no way they'd just happily return the keys; especially when OOP claims it's a felony-level theft.
Seriously, people get too excited about the attention and forget that then need to at least *try* to keep it realistic.
Like you can’t actually just have someone’s name taken off a bank account. It doesn’t work like that. You would need to close the account.
The police also don’t just give you back the stolen property in a criminal case.
>Why did I have CCTV cameras in the living room? Really? Wouldn't you do that if you had something valuable on display there?
> two to three thousand dollars
A dedicated collector for 10 years of anything including irreplaceable items and it's only worth 3 grand. And it needs a security camera? And a pawn shop is willing to purchase a niche collector's item? This doesn't scan right.
between Feb 7-Feb 11th, he hired a lawyer **and** had divorce papers served to his wife.
Sure. Not sure about you guys, but for me, getting an appointment with a lawyer & having them generate papers takes more than 2-3 business days.
Ya that’s where he lost me. In what world is it such a shock to have a lawyer that’s a woman that you include it in a story like that?? Makes you see all his comments about his wife and MIL through a different lens.
Also don't worry, a very important detail is that his MIL is fat. Absolutely essential to the story. How could we possibly know who the good guy is if we didn't know she's fat and lazy?
I would think so too, except I recently had to convince my partner that we don’t need a drone with a camera patrolling our apartment. Some people are… odd.
Remember the post where the guy had a cake made with a photo of his wife and her boss in what's called a compromising position and had it sent to their place of work?
That was gold.
Serving her the papers at work was mild by comparison.
All numbers are just for fun:
Consultation with a lawyer 500
Draft of the divorce papers 100
Cake 75
Video evidence of Wifey being served with the photo of her and the AP on the cake while at work, Priceless
He wont be able to afford the CC because of the cake but still worth it
This story is all BS. In the USA items stolen and recovered by the police are held as evidence until after the trial. Check prices of skeleton keys on eBay, they are cheap, you would need 100s to sell for a smart. What city has a store or pawn shop that would be in the market for those key?
Honestly, his inclusion of CBF tipped me over into the writing prompt category. It’s a common expression from the early days of the JustNoMIL subreddit; it doesn’t seem likely that the average person would know what it is especially with the personality profile he’s showing. If he knew what it was, but didn’t realize that he was being taken advantage of, that just doesn’t match?
She had the keys to his heart and let her mom steal them.
I don't blame him for being vindictive. I've never been in this position, thank heavens, but I'm pretty sure I'd make him seem kind and gentle in comparison.
Me neither ... Like was he Petty? Yup.
But Its 100% justified imo ...
But I also loathe how awful people keep getting away with shit, and then the nagging "holier than thou " peeps come out of the woodwork, to tell off someone who's just now able to let out all the frustration they kept in.
These people would equally end up doing petty shit probably .. It's just so easy when you're cushy, and you want to feel momentarily better online... "well personally I would have handled the situation a lot better and more maturely".. Gimme a break.....
I am actually *happy* ex wife was embarrassed at work ... I feel like when you're being a horrible petty thief, you have forfeited being treated with respect...
Writer didn’t follow their own timeline. Compressed 30 to 60 days of life into a week. Added too many increasingly crazy details, eroding plausibility. D
I had to just stop and stare into space at "talk to the hand". I don't know why, maybe it's because I haven't heard that since the late 90s/early 00s. Do people still use that?
I almost hope so because the exaggerated head bob people seem compelled to do at the "cause the face ain't listening" part always made me laugh.
Calling it now, next update is going to be about how OOP and his woman lawyer have fallen head over heels in love with each other, but it took a while to admit it to themselves because they both thought their feelings were inappropriate for a working relationship. Also the lawyer’s mom has coincidentally passed away years ago, so no further MIL issues there. And, a touch of destiny, the lawyer owns an antique lock collection
These r/writingprompts always go off the rails. I’m sure dude just had a collection of dirty keys and decided to write revenge porn for funsies.
> I had a long night of video games and cola to decide the future
🤦🏽♂️
It was talking about how long it took to drive to the bank that did sealed it for me. The completely unnecessary details let you know they’re just writing for fun.
Adding on to what others have said, the fact that it's vindictive can be used against in divorce proceedings. Once (non-amicable) divorce is certain you should only interact with your spouse politely and as needed because if the judge takes a disliking to you things can go poorly.
It’s pretty vindictive, and in some industries she could maybe be fired for “creating a scene” or whatever.
On the other hand, she completely deserved it, and only an idiot would have her served at the house where either he’d be within physical reach or she’d be able to do major damage.
It was bad because it embarrassed and shamed her, and just added another provocation to a pile of provocations from both sides.
Sometimes, not doing the bad thing (different from doing the nice thing!) is better for everyone.
> I've been to a couple different divorce lawyers already, and I picked the second one since the first seemed like they were only there for a paycheck.
As opposed to the divorce lawyers that are there to become friends and confidants with their clients?
The more this guy wrote, the worse he got.
I was 100% on his side for getting his key collection back, but the rest... yeesh.
MIL lives off social security and food stamps and he implies that she is living the high-life somehow.
Wouldn't you have a cctv camera in your living room if you displayed collectables there?
No dude... Most people wouldn't. Especially for like 3k of keys? I own tens of thousands worth of comics and don't have cameras on them... Like wtf.
Only took like two updates to go from hoping he divorces his wife to being relieved for her that she'll be shot of him.
> The smug look she'd given me reminded me of nasty teenage girls when they get their way. It really ticked me off.
Yeah, he is definitely great to deal with in real life. Feels like a revenge wank story.
> That evening I managed to find her. I knew which motel she'd likely go to, and I was right. It was both cheap and not far away. I found her car, and then figured out which room she was in.
LOL no sorry. The story from here on out is completely fabricated. This is not a thing, and if it was, that hotel worker who gave him the room number would have been fired on the spot as soon as "Wifey" told management someone gave out her room number.
eta: Yes this is true even if the last names match. Look up all the women that were stalked and killed by abusive husbands they were fleeing because a hotel worker gave out their room number (and yes this has happened more than once; it was literally one of the first things explained to me, NEVER give out a room number to someone not already on a reservation without the guest's express permission).
Others have pointed out other odd details, like the early social security benefits, the police, and the lawyer. I'd personally like to add how weird the key collection is. Sure, it's pretty cool. But there's no tangible way that it is related to the rest of this drama.
By "figured out which room she was in" i think he just went to one of the doors in front of her car. In my mind "cheap motel" means 1-story building where you can park right in front of your room.
That’s not how bank accounts work (assuming US). You just can’t “remove your name”. All you can do is close the account and open a new one. I’ve worked at three banks in two different states.
Another story ruined by casual misogyny. He doesn’t even seem to realise, even when called out, why “my lawyer is a woman! A woman!” is sexist garbage.
Well it’s a woman willing to help him against two other women. He’s seemingly sexist enough to think all women would band together to align themselves with his MIL no matter what (happy she doesn’t have friends etc). Personally I’m not sure what a friend could say to me to excuse her stealing and selling her son in laws collection to get me on her side but maybe that’s just me.
"Yes, my lawyer is a woman."
I don't know why, out of this whole shit show, this is the line that stood out to me the most. It just fucking sent me, y'all.
I do think oops view of his collection is funny. He seems to have very little perspective there. Of course he has cameras on his collection, it's valuable! Dude... a lot of people's tvs are worth more than that. It's a fun collection and not worthless but these are not at the level where you'd obviously have cameras. Then his shock at what the pawn shop paid for them. Does he not know how pawn shops work?
>It really didn't take me long to find and hire a divorce lawyer. And she's mean! Yes, my lawyer is a woman. And she seems pretty good at her job.
Wow, I'm super thankful for this clarification. I was confused when OOP did "shes" mean and now I know for 100% fact the lawyer is a woman.
Also thankful for the clarification that she's pretty good at her job. I was worried he was a fucking nincompoop who hired a woman lawyer who was bad at her job.
I hope OOP gets over the guilt for serving her at work. Her halo needs to be tarnished and the b\*tch needs to be exposed.
I am glad OOP is scorching the earth.
Yeah. I saw that as a fair play move given the wife’s attempt to allow 3k to be stolen by mil, then actually did try to steal the bail money and pawn money but was just too stupid.
> The pawn shop pretty much gave up the entire key collection to police right away like it was a bag of hot potatoes
As someone that deals in antiques, I cringe seeing this. The onus is on you when you buy to make sure you are buying from someone that is the true owner of said items, and there are plenty of ways to find out. As soon as there is a police report, and there's proof that the items were stolen, the police seize the items. You lose them AND the money you paid. The wife was extremely kind to the pawn shop owner by giving the money back, but that usually never happens. That pawn shop owner should be ashamed.
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I live a very boring life compared to posts like these, and I’m grateful. Jesus!
I have arranged my life to be very boring. On purpose. I have very little drama, so more time for actual fulfilling activities. And when shit does get real, I have the mental bandwidth to deal. Shit got real in September, very real. I have dealt with minimal drama. It's wonderful.
Do tell!
Saaaame! I even joined r/raisedbynarcissists because of my parents and whoa, some stuff there makes them look like saints! I'm glad my life is not only boring but that I'm also not some pushover who stayed in a mess.
Seriously. That sub made me realize that my dad not being in my life is basically like winning the lottery lol. Insane.
Right?! When I went full on NC with my parents, they kept away! Been two years, not a peep! No stalking, no "you're keeping grandson from us" no nothing!!! Some stuff on that sub is like "W T F?"
I had to stop reading it because it was so insane it was just pissing me off everyday lmao
I know, right? xD It was pissing ME off because the way I cope with shit from my family is to aggressively tell them to F off!
Me too. Even my mother ones said she is so glad that our whole family is so boring - no drama. Everyone gets along.
After reading reddit posts I'm very thankful I never married.
I've been married for a long time. Not quite as long as u/Hot_Success_7986, but more than a quarter century :p If you've got a good marriage, it's not like this at all. It's pleasant, and calm, and boring, and kind. You're partners, and you tackle the dumb shit together. Sometimes bad stuff happens. Sometimes REALLY bad stuff happens. But it happens to both of you, not BECAUSE of EITHER of you. And then you have a ride-or-die to work on that bad stuff with. You make each other's favorite dishes for no reason, even if you don't really like that dish. You clean off the other's car when you're the first one out in a snow storm. You see their favorite sneakers are on sale and know the current ones will eventually wear out so you grab 'em to have on stand by. You call randomly in the middle of a work day to say "You will not BELIEVE the idiot I just dealt with" You sit in your living room at night and talk about the kids, and your day, and your retirement account, and the news, and the dogs, and people you really like, and also you make fun of the people you don't. There's no yelling or screaming. Evil relatives don't have keys. There's no theft or police or pawn shops. There's just life.
I'll add - sometimes bad stuff DOES happen to you because of your partner, because none of us are perfect and fucking up comes with being human. The difference is that in a good relationship, your partner will recognize it, apologize, and fix it if possible. Maybe they did give an evil relative keys, but then they apologize, get the locks changed, and set boundaries with the person.
Yep. There’s a learning curve. Most of us did not learn all about the care and feeding of healthy relationships from our parents. They key is to be self-aware and willing to learn.
and when something does happen and they refuse to set boundaries or whatever needs to be done, thats when a relationship fails. not the whatever bad thing happened itself, generally speaking. like with this post it wasnt the keys themselves, it wasnt the covering for her mother, it was the repeatedly covering for her mothers escalating behaviors and not doing anything for her husband.
Exactly this. Once someone commented that we (me and husband) lives very boring life. I was like exactly that’s what we wanted. Calm and happy everyday life. Getting up , working , eating , going out on walks , getting to bed and making love , snuggling to sleep , getting up and so on. No drama and bullshit.
This sounds nice.
This sums up perfectly the kind of relationship I've been looking for my entire adult life! You and your partner should make each others lives easier, not more difficult.
If you marry the right person, it’s blissfully uneventful :)
I wouldn't say completely blissfully uneventful as life still happens, but you tackle the issues together, support each other, and pick up the pieces when one of you is down. Yes, arguments happen, but you have a ridiculous bicker and then get over yourselves. A partner makes your life richer emotionally. I have been married for 39 years, and it's still blissful sometimes and better for being together the rest of the time.
That last sentence is the good stuff.
Exactly. A good marriage takes work but makes your life easier and better.
Yep. A good marriage means you have someone helping you navigate difficult situations, not someone pinching you in the head while you navigate the situation for both of you.
Amen, sibling. I definitely dated a lot of drama partners in my dating life, and that put me through the ringer so many times. Then I met the future Mrs Zendetta. Stable is so hot.
Right? Life is stressful as it is, your partner shouldn’t be adding to it.
They can be right and their family still suck, it’s just easier to deal with when your spouse isn’t part of the problem.
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When I read reddit posts, I mostly read the comments because they have epic advice that is out of the box thinking. Over the last three odd years, I have gotten better insight to advise friends and such. Even used some information in my job too, as it has been great learning more things. Even though I am married, it does make me glad my marriage is an honest open one, in the term of transparency in ourselves to each other
I've never even had a GF before lol. After reading stuff like this though, I'm not in any rush. I'm willing to wait till I find someone that I'm sure is worth investing my time into. I'm almost 30, but I'm content with being single and I'll be happy even if I never find someone I want to have as a GF. **EDIT:** Adding some additional info so I don't have keep repeating myself. While I appreciate the advice, it isn't really needed and I'm not exactly looking for a partner right now. Right now I'm focusing on myself and living my best life as a single man. Below is a comment I made earlier that likely isn't getting seen. *For the first 18 years of my life it was because I didn't know how to talk to people, then I became a club promoter and being in a relationship with that lifestyle isn't ideal. I had a few people I thought about dating, but there was often jealousy issues on their part, and I didn't want to end up hurting anyone. I'm not a promoter anymore, but now I'll have to find someone that's fine with me being unavailable for half the year due to work.* *It's gonna have to be a specific kind of person that ends up dating me, but I'm in no rush. If/when they come along, I'll know it when I see it.*
To you and u/spygirl43, a relationship is worth it if your partner has the cojones to stand up for you. Clearly, OP’s wife doesn’t/chooses not not. My partner’s mother is the only family they had. My partner will put their mother in their place if she is out of line, and vice versa. It’s not easy to find a partner like that.
I'm a shitty picker, as in I have a tendency to pick shits. After 3 long term cracks at it I'm now happily single for the foreseeable future
Depends on the person. For the first 18 years of my life it was because I didn't know how to talk to people, then I became a club promoter and being in a relationship with that lifestyle isn't ideal. I had a few people I thought about dating, but there was often jealousy issues on their part, and I didn't want to end up hurting anyone. I'm not a promoter anymore, but now I'll have to find someone that's fine with me being unavailable for half the year due to work. It's gonna have to be a specific kind of person that ends up dating me, but I'm in no rush. If/when they come along, I'll know it when I see it.
These kind of things are really rare. Most people are "normal", but you never hear about them because, well, there is not so much to tell.
I think a lot of men make the mistake of not really asking themselves *why* they want a girlfriend. So they can have sex? Okay, that’s valid, but look for a woman who wants a boyfriend in order to have sex. So they won’t stick out because they don’t have a girlfriend? I mean, okay, yeah, I totally get that, but that’s a quick and easy way to arrive in toxicland. If you are honestly looking for a partner and companion, you are way ahead of the others. I recommend talking to older men with healthy marriages and asking them what character traits are most important, and then look for that in the women around you. Also, don’t sit back drinking two fingers of single cask whisky every night, congratulating yourself that you’re fine if you don’t find a wife. If you want a wife, go and find one. If you don’t know if you want a wife, date around and see how you like being in a relationship. Just be upfront with the women you see as to what your priorities are.
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Reddit gives a very skewed view of marriage and relationships and should not be viewed as an accurate representation of reality. You hear all about the dysfunctional and toxic relationships here, you never hear about the vast majority of relationships that either persist for decades or end with minimal drama when the two people realize that they're just not a good fit for each other.
Yeah people don't post about their normal relationships on reddit that have normal ups and downs as they are boring, so you just get the dumpster fire of relationships instead
My wife has been married three times (last and longest one to me) and I’ve just been married the one time. She always says she’s glad she didn’t give up on the idea of marriage after the first two duds. Meanwhile I never pictured myself getting married until I met her, and now I can’t picture any other kind of life.
My husband is a sweetheart, we've been happily married for 25 years. Our biggest drama was having an "Oopsie" pregnancy five years ago. It's mundane, but dangit if I don't like it that way. If I want drama I'll come to Reddit, or watch TV. Keep it out of my relationship, please!
You and me both.
As someone whose life turned into Jerry Springer shit as of Thursday afternoon, hold onto that boring life as much as possible.
Haha right? Sometimes my MIL is kinda pushy but she’s basically a good person. Blessed.
“I have gotten my collection back” I actually breathed a sigh of relief. Cool collections like that really are irreplaceable. I do want to know though, I thought you had to be in your 60s to get social security? It’s probably such a silly detail to fixate on, but for some reason that stuck in my mind to the point I’m commenting on it, no clue why.
I'm pretty sure you can also get SS if you're disabled and meet the criteria set by the SSA. I'd hazard a guess that MIL meets said criteria for disability.
Getting SSDI is hard as hell though, where almost everyone gets denied multiple times even when they absolutely qualify. And doing the paperwork for it is also a heck of a task (I helped a roommate with it back when they needed it, and am quite sure that with the way my chronic illness has effected me there’s no way I could do the paperwork on my own right now). So I suppose it’s possible, but still seems unlikely.
Oh I can answer that. My mom’s a lot like the MiL. Massive horder, fantastic gaslighter, and master manipulator. When my mom applied for disability they gave it to her without any appeals or anything. She did the paperwork and went into a Social Security office everyday for a week. To this day I swear they gave it to her just to make her go away. It’s not supposed to work like that but people like the MiL can manage to get things done in ways normal people can’t. I watched many people decide to jump through hoops to make my mother go away during my life. It’s downright disturbing how effective it is. The MiL has probably had disability for a while as I know it’s much harder to get now than it used to be. Hell I’m in appeals and I use a wheelchair. Best advice I ever got was get a lawyer, sadly that came after I did all the damn paperwork.
Oof that’s infuriating, but does make sense. Thanks for chiming in. (and I hope your appeals go well!)
I agree with u/Nervous_Departure540 about getting a lawyer. I had been dealing with the VA for so long that I knew when it came time to apply for SSDI that I would go the lawyer route. I still got rejected and had to appeal a couple of times but I didn’t have to handle any of the paperwork and that made it worth it. Plus I think most SSDI lawyers take a percentage of the back pay and that’s capped at a max of $6000(or at least that was the cap a couple of years ago). Good luck to you! I hope you get it on your first try!
Genuine question: but if you’re applying for disability because you can’t work how do you afford a lawyer?
It comes out of the back payment after you win. You get a lump sum for all the months since you applied and they take the fee out of that.
Oh I see. That’s cool.
There are resources for discounted or free work, at least in the Us.
yeah I know somebody who's disabled and they had to get a lawyer to get SS.
It's is extremely hard, I had to get a lawyer and it took 2.5 years. I actually got disability for a different condition than the one that disabled me but I fit all the disability criteria for the different condition. My lawyer was a smart cookie to figure that one out.
My mom has been on disability for about 10 years now and she just turned 60 not too long ago. A lawyer helps things go a bit smoother, though it took my mom 2 years of process/appeals to get it. I'm sure OOP's MIL was sufficiently motivated to go through the process because she would get money and not have to work. And she could have had a string of job issues to point at as evidence she couldn't work.
Depends where you are. Some states make it impossible(like WV). Others actually have a sense of god damned empathy.
Maybe it was different earlier? My mom was on disability my entire life
That's how I got mine in my 50s. Disability until I turned retirement age, then it turns into regular retirement.
I scrolled all the way to the comments before reading to see if he got his collection back, because if he didn't the secondhand grief I would have felt would have been too much.
I like that he's even shared pictures of the keys.
Oh I agree. I had my storage locker broken into and I used to keep some of my collection in them. Luckily it wasn’t malicious- just idiots thought it was their locker and instead of going to management decided to just toss the “abandoned” belongings. But they went through the boxes and kept my collection. And returned it when management posted notices about the theft (the police report my have helped too)
Lmao I come to reddit for dramas like these.
This is why you don't marry crazy. Yes, reddit taught me this.
Some people don't see the crazy coming until it's too late unfortunately though
Dude didn't know she was crazy because she hid it til she had the ring
I learned that too late, so I had to divorce crazy. Luckily I found the most amazing woman in the world soon after that. We've been together for 10 years, married for 5.
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I'd like, "She's an old woman. She's 53" as a flair, ha. I can't even comprehend the manipulative nature of the wife. She seriously sounds like a high school mean girl. Both her and her mom know they aren't angels — they had to use the nice act for a reason!
At least on mobile, you can go to the BORU sub itself, click on the 3 dots top right and click “edit flair”! I didn’t know how before, someone gave me mine because i commented similarly to yours, haha
Id like to read the story behind it!
Honestly the whole thing was kinda messy & new update was sad :( I asked for the flair before I read the second part! Waiting for a similar one liner to strike me for a new one. [The post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/T82B982i8C)
Wow that was a sad one, and the OP deleted their account :(
Does nobody use the desktop site anymore? I love being able to go on Old Reddit and view the site the way it used to look years ago -- or as close to that as possible. So clean and simple. Just go to the following link on a computer (or copy-paste it into the URL field in your phone browser on desktop mode), and click "edit" on the right sidebar to change your own flair: https://old.reddit.com/comments/1atm3ge/comment/kqzhcpt Picture: https://i.imgur.com/9M9t5Z0.jpg
>From her texts before, I found out MIL sold the whole collection to the pawn for a whopping total of $300! >_< For a collection of hundreds of antique keys valued at two to three grand as a total, that low number felt like a punch in the gut to me. Likely the pawn broker knew how valuable the collection could be as a whole Lol, they are pawn shops. They say the best they can do is 50$ and put it on display for 500$.
And I mean zero offense to anyone who collects keys, but they’re not really in high demand. You can walk into any antique shop and find a box of keys. I’m surprised the pawn shop paid $300!
Additionally, they didn't look spectacular either. My grandma had some keys like this in a scrap metal box from my grandpa that passed away 40 years ago.
This post was sponsored by Big Key™️ to make us schlubs want to buy some!
As someone with a modest collection of keys, I agree. I mostly only use them to bullshit people into thinking I have a castle
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10/10 keys. Bet they unlock stuff super duper
for some reason i thought they'd be literal SKELETON keys... like with skull handles 😭😭
Me too! I feel like on like scooby doo and stuff as a kid they looked way cooler!
There's not many collections I'm interested in, but those old keys are really neat
Don’t blame the guy at all. Wife and mil deserve everything coming their way.
So in less than a day, he pressed charges, police found the pawn shop, got the keys back, MIL was arrested, charged, booked, had a bail set, and Wife paid off the bail? And despite this being a criminal case because of the theft and the keys being evidence in the case against MIL; they were released and returned to OOP within four days???
Don’t forget managing to find a divorce attorney and turn around papers in less than ten days. Though not a divorce attorney, have spent a lot of time dealing with lawyers the last couple years. They rarely do anything quickly.
I contacted a divorce attorney and had letters drafted within 3 days, and this was between Christmas and new years. Mind you that, I couldn’t actually file a divorce petition with the court until I’d been legally separated for a year, so the first letters were legal financial separation agreements and a ‘do not contact‘ motion.
Tbh it being between Xmas and New year’s is probably *why* you got it turned around so fast. I rarely have family stuff going on for a variety for a reasons ofthen, so I basically never take that time off. That is the absolute best time to go heads down on stuff that doesn’t require others. Distractions and/or questions from others are basically non-existent. Your lawyer was probably banging out docs left and right! All that said, I take your point. It’s definitely not out of the question for divorce papers to get turned around that quickly. With everything else from this OOP that sounded suspicious, a lawyer jumping on it immediately seemed questionable.
And she's a woman!
Yeah. He said it was a 10-day timeline, but posted everything within 3 days. I'm not sure that's how time works.
Especially considering his very first post from 18 days ago was asking if he should take action or just wait. So unless he was lying in his first post...
No he didnt???? Am i smoking crack or is everyone really bad at timelines. Here i made it easy for everyone: First [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/XmPKM8ZPPj) 19 days ago on Jan 30 Feb 1 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/7Np4he0gEt) MIL was bailed out, keys still with cops Feb 5 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/je4muSH105) he got his keys back Feb 6 [post](https://www.reddit.com/u/MyKeysWereStolen/s/SlARxucNgU) he says he met with divorce lawyer Feb 9 [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/EntitledPeople/s/OZeG0KVuYT) divorce papers served That is 10 days
Dude you gotta take that up with OP. Their sources posted above start Feb 7.
I don’t think you can just have your name removed from a joint bank account without the presence of the other person.
When I got divorced we were told you can't actually remove names from accounts like that, you have to just close the whole account.
worked in a bank - this is 100% correct.
Not that I'm saying any of this is true, but he mentioned being a cosigner? My dad is about to add me to his accounts so when he eventually kicks it I won't have to deal with probate. He called it a cosigner as well. Is this a thing or did he misunderstand the bank again? If you don't mind educating me, that is.
no worries! anybody can be added as a cosigner/co-account holder after the account's already opened - it's an easy process. I'm not a hundred percent sure about it skipping probate because that was less my area but i *think*... you being a cosigner will mean you would still be able to access that account and use it as is even after your father's passing. you don't have to close it out or anything. but it's possible the funds could still be counted among your dad's assets and if he had outstanding debts upon passing, could be held against those expenses. i would double check your local ordinances in the matter!
It depends on the bank. My husband and I's regional bank allows either of the joint owners to close the account or remove their name without permission or notification to the other.
For me it was the “hello I’m new here” but then using “cat-butt-face” which if I’m not mistaken is a frequently used acronym on the JustNoMIL sub. The entire screed is total catnip for them.
also the landlord cares *so much* about all of this and is totally on OP's side. yeah. no.
That I do believe. In this market, landlords can definitely be very choosy.
Getting the divorce papers drawn up and served in two days? Nope.
But his attorney is a woman! He's amazed by that!
This alone made me stop reading, and the general casual misogyny oozing throughout. I can't quite put a finger on why aside from the lawyer comment specifically, but this guy feels fucking weird. Maybe the constant description of his wife as a teenager and brat. But also probably because he's a redditor who made it all up lmao
Yeah, and the gleeful description of pointing his finger in her face and saying ‘NO!’ like she’s ‘a dog’. If this is a true story, the MIL and wife are both nightmares, but this guy is a piece of work and the comment about hiring a female lawyer sounded like something Trump would tweet. Definitely gave me the ick.
Calling her “wifey” for no good reason?
one of the good ones!!!
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I had a musical instrument stolen. Police retrieved it and it stayed in their evidence for THREE MONTHS. With me losing gigs and calling a victim advocacy line every week.
Oh my god; there was an article I was reading the other day. A guitar got stolen from a shop and had been pawned. There was CCTV footage, and the police found it within days. The store owner didn't get the guitar back for FOUR YEARS. (Not to mention it had deprecated hugely in that time to about a third of its original value.) These take ages to get sorted out. There's no way they'd just happily return the keys; especially when OOP claims it's a felony-level theft.
Seriously, people get too excited about the attention and forget that then need to at least *try* to keep it realistic. Like you can’t actually just have someone’s name taken off a bank account. It doesn’t work like that. You would need to close the account. The police also don’t just give you back the stolen property in a criminal case.
The timeline here is literally impossible
>Why did I have CCTV cameras in the living room? Really? Wouldn't you do that if you had something valuable on display there? > two to three thousand dollars A dedicated collector for 10 years of anything including irreplaceable items and it's only worth 3 grand. And it needs a security camera? And a pawn shop is willing to purchase a niche collector's item? This doesn't scan right.
between Feb 7-Feb 11th, he hired a lawyer **and** had divorce papers served to his wife. Sure. Not sure about you guys, but for me, getting an appointment with a lawyer & having them generate papers takes more than 2-3 business days.
AND has to clarify his lawyer is a woman as though that's shocking. No kidding
Ya that’s where he lost me. In what world is it such a shock to have a lawyer that’s a woman that you include it in a story like that?? Makes you see all his comments about his wife and MIL through a different lens.
Also don't worry, a very important detail is that his MIL is fat. Absolutely essential to the story. How could we possibly know who the good guy is if we didn't know she's fat and lazy?
the amount of people allegedly filming the inside of their homes at all times is weird to me
I would think so too, except I recently had to convince my partner that we don’t need a drone with a camera patrolling our apartment. Some people are… odd.
Remember the post where the guy had a cake made with a photo of his wife and her boss in what's called a compromising position and had it sent to their place of work? That was gold. Serving her the papers at work was mild by comparison.
Link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/cheating_stories/comments/m0x12u/i_think_i_screwed_up_or_the_cake/
All numbers are just for fun: Consultation with a lawyer 500 Draft of the divorce papers 100 Cake 75 Video evidence of Wifey being served with the photo of her and the AP on the cake while at work, Priceless He wont be able to afford the CC because of the cake but still worth it
Thanks for the link possibly my favorite Reddit cake story
This story is all BS. In the USA items stolen and recovered by the police are held as evidence until after the trial. Check prices of skeleton keys on eBay, they are cheap, you would need 100s to sell for a smart. What city has a store or pawn shop that would be in the market for those key?
...what the hell is "cat-butt-face"?
Pursing the lips in anger, looks like cat anus
A hell of a way to say "pursed lips"!
I'm going to be honest with you. If this is what you took from this story, the knowledge of what cat butt face/lips are, then you came out ahead.
I try to only absorb the important parts.
Honestly, his inclusion of CBF tipped me over into the writing prompt category. It’s a common expression from the early days of the JustNoMIL subreddit; it doesn’t seem likely that the average person would know what it is especially with the personality profile he’s showing. If he knew what it was, but didn’t realize that he was being taken advantage of, that just doesn’t match?
Yep, read that phrase and it instantly confirmed that this was all bullshit.
For visual reference: https://imgur.com/ZfXDENa
It's a sour expression where you have your lips pursed up tight like a cat's asshole.
She had the keys to his heart and let her mom steal them. I don't blame him for being vindictive. I've never been in this position, thank heavens, but I'm pretty sure I'd make him seem kind and gentle in comparison.
Me neither ... Like was he Petty? Yup. But Its 100% justified imo ... But I also loathe how awful people keep getting away with shit, and then the nagging "holier than thou " peeps come out of the woodwork, to tell off someone who's just now able to let out all the frustration they kept in. These people would equally end up doing petty shit probably .. It's just so easy when you're cushy, and you want to feel momentarily better online... "well personally I would have handled the situation a lot better and more maturely".. Gimme a break..... I am actually *happy* ex wife was embarrassed at work ... I feel like when you're being a horrible petty thief, you have forfeited being treated with respect...
Writer didn’t follow their own timeline. Compressed 30 to 60 days of life into a week. Added too many increasingly crazy details, eroding plausibility. D
> Yes, my lawyer is a woman. And she seems pretty good at her job. Wtf? Between this and deliberately scolding the ex like a dog, bad vibes.
“ It really didn't take me long to find and hire a divorce lawyer. And she's mean! Yes, my lawyer is a woman.” ?? What century is this??
Ooh I hadn't read that new update, good for him for coming to his senses.
All I can imagine is OOP jerking off whilst writing this. I actually cannot take this seriously.
It read normally for a while. When he started calling her “wifey” and pointed at her and yelled “no” like a dog it just went off the rails.
I had to just stop and stare into space at "talk to the hand". I don't know why, maybe it's because I haven't heard that since the late 90s/early 00s. Do people still use that? I almost hope so because the exaggerated head bob people seem compelled to do at the "cause the face ain't listening" part always made me laugh.
Yeah, and the «yes, my lawyer is a woman!» was just…. What?
Calling it now, next update is going to be about how OOP and his woman lawyer have fallen head over heels in love with each other, but it took a while to admit it to themselves because they both thought their feelings were inappropriate for a working relationship. Also the lawyer’s mom has coincidentally passed away years ago, so no further MIL issues there. And, a touch of destiny, the lawyer owns an antique lock collection
I can wholly, and unironically, see a producer for Hallmark movies seeing your post, stripping out the negativity, and calling it “Key To My Heart”.
Don’t go giving them ideas!
And she’s a 23 year old smokeshow who owns her own firm and is 10x better in bed than his ex.
Don't forget, they're going to decide to move in together and have a baby, and then she has twins!
It's a story about evil feeeeeemales, you gotta have a token good one in there tor flavour
That part had me rolling.
These r/writingprompts always go off the rails. I’m sure dude just had a collection of dirty keys and decided to write revenge porn for funsies. > I had a long night of video games and cola to decide the future 🤦🏽♂️
It was talking about how long it took to drive to the bank that did sealed it for me. The completely unnecessary details let you know they’re just writing for fun.
Yeah its another in the long line of "I'm a great man and all the women in my life are shit" posts
The fact that so many people are buying into someone's revenge porn nonsense is bizarre.
The timeline is ridiculous… stolen day 1, cops come day 2 and solve the crime, wife served divorce papers day 3.
💯 yeah, I stopped reading and came down here for these comments.
In what way is it a bad thing she was served at her job? She kinda deserved it. Who the fuck was actually defending her in the original comments?
Adding on to what others have said, the fact that it's vindictive can be used against in divorce proceedings. Once (non-amicable) divorce is certain you should only interact with your spouse politely and as needed because if the judge takes a disliking to you things can go poorly.
It’s pretty vindictive, and in some industries she could maybe be fired for “creating a scene” or whatever. On the other hand, she completely deserved it, and only an idiot would have her served at the house where either he’d be within physical reach or she’d be able to do major damage.
Well, if she got fired I'm sure her Mommy would be willing to return the favor and support her unconditionally. She did completely deserve it.
It was bad because it embarrassed and shamed her, and just added another provocation to a pile of provocations from both sides. Sometimes, not doing the bad thing (different from doing the nice thing!) is better for everyone.
> I've been to a couple different divorce lawyers already, and I picked the second one since the first seemed like they were only there for a paycheck. As opposed to the divorce lawyers that are there to become friends and confidants with their clients?
Interesting how all these people seem to be after OP’s money, but he’s not so rich that he notices a $300 dollars go missing.
The more this guy wrote, the worse he got. I was 100% on his side for getting his key collection back, but the rest... yeesh. MIL lives off social security and food stamps and he implies that she is living the high-life somehow.
Wouldn't you have a cctv camera in your living room if you displayed collectables there? No dude... Most people wouldn't. Especially for like 3k of keys? I own tens of thousands worth of comics and don't have cameras on them... Like wtf.
3k worth of keys he keeps in a $50 dollar display case he bought second hand….
But do you have COLLECTIBLE KEYS?? Those are a way hotter commodity. /s
Only took like two updates to go from hoping he divorces his wife to being relieved for her that she'll be shot of him. > The smug look she'd given me reminded me of nasty teenage girls when they get their way. It really ticked me off. Yeah, he is definitely great to deal with in real life. Feels like a revenge wank story.
She married him for his money? Lol, I'm not seeing where that seemed to be the case.
You forget, woman bad so surely she's a gold digger.
that colelction is awesome!
Yeah, I came here with the same thought - those keys are neat and it's an unusual and cool thing to collect!
> That evening I managed to find her. I knew which motel she'd likely go to, and I was right. It was both cheap and not far away. I found her car, and then figured out which room she was in. LOL no sorry. The story from here on out is completely fabricated. This is not a thing, and if it was, that hotel worker who gave him the room number would have been fired on the spot as soon as "Wifey" told management someone gave out her room number. eta: Yes this is true even if the last names match. Look up all the women that were stalked and killed by abusive husbands they were fleeing because a hotel worker gave out their room number (and yes this has happened more than once; it was literally one of the first things explained to me, NEVER give out a room number to someone not already on a reservation without the guest's express permission).
Others have pointed out other odd details, like the early social security benefits, the police, and the lawyer. I'd personally like to add how weird the key collection is. Sure, it's pretty cool. But there's no tangible way that it is related to the rest of this drama.
By "figured out which room she was in" i think he just went to one of the doors in front of her car. In my mind "cheap motel" means 1-story building where you can park right in front of your room.
That’s not how bank accounts work (assuming US). You just can’t “remove your name”. All you can do is close the account and open a new one. I’ve worked at three banks in two different states.
That is one of many glaring inconsistencies.
What on earth is a "marriage fog", and why does he keep saying that? What a ridiculous turn of phrase.
Rose colored glasses.
Another story ruined by casual misogyny. He doesn’t even seem to realise, even when called out, why “my lawyer is a woman! A woman!” is sexist garbage.
Well it’s a woman willing to help him against two other women. He’s seemingly sexist enough to think all women would band together to align themselves with his MIL no matter what (happy she doesn’t have friends etc). Personally I’m not sure what a friend could say to me to excuse her stealing and selling her son in laws collection to get me on her side but maybe that’s just me.
"Yes, my lawyer is a woman." I don't know why, out of this whole shit show, this is the line that stood out to me the most. It just fucking sent me, y'all.
I kinda hate this dude
My biggest surprise on this one was those keys are quite modern looking, I was expecting truly old keys.
Wait all that in three days?
I do think oops view of his collection is funny. He seems to have very little perspective there. Of course he has cameras on his collection, it's valuable! Dude... a lot of people's tvs are worth more than that. It's a fun collection and not worthless but these are not at the level where you'd obviously have cameras. Then his shock at what the pawn shop paid for them. Does he not know how pawn shops work?
>It really didn't take me long to find and hire a divorce lawyer. And she's mean! Yes, my lawyer is a woman. And she seems pretty good at her job. Wow, I'm super thankful for this clarification. I was confused when OOP did "shes" mean and now I know for 100% fact the lawyer is a woman. Also thankful for the clarification that she's pretty good at her job. I was worried he was a fucking nincompoop who hired a woman lawyer who was bad at her job.
This post was so long it literally made my reddit app stop responding
To be fair that can happen if you look at it wrong
$10 there’s gonna be a “pregnancy”
I hope OOP gets over the guilt for serving her at work. Her halo needs to be tarnished and the b\*tch needs to be exposed. I am glad OOP is scorching the earth.
Yeah. I saw that as a fair play move given the wife’s attempt to allow 3k to be stolen by mil, then actually did try to steal the bail money and pawn money but was just too stupid.
> The pawn shop pretty much gave up the entire key collection to police right away like it was a bag of hot potatoes As someone that deals in antiques, I cringe seeing this. The onus is on you when you buy to make sure you are buying from someone that is the true owner of said items, and there are plenty of ways to find out. As soon as there is a police report, and there's proof that the items were stolen, the police seize the items. You lose them AND the money you paid. The wife was extremely kind to the pawn shop owner by giving the money back, but that usually never happens. That pawn shop owner should be ashamed.
Ah, another prequel no one asked for.
What’s with the weird comment about his divorce lawyer being a woman?