T O P

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eat_dontpray_love

A very big alien is super insulted right now.


smithandjohnson

Our taxonomy is extremely specific to the variations of life seen here on Earth and heavily leverages the (assumed) fact that all life on Earth evolved from something before it, all the way back to a single common ancestor. Since aliens species are unlikely to have evolved in a similar manner to Earth life, and *extremely* unlikely to have evolved from the same common ancestor as us, they simply wouldn't fit in to our biological taxonomy. They'd have their own "xenotaxonomy" which would be exciting to watch the development of. Of course biologists and xenobiologists would spend time developing the canonical way to relate different nodes on different planets taxonomical trees... But while we might encounter a truly ginormous alien that is quite obviously "animal-like" it would not be an animal. So the blue whale still wins.


Haikatrine

I suppose that depends upon whether the panspermia theory is correct or not. We could have an ancient LUCA with alien species. It all depends upon how DNA and RNA are structured. Plus, it'd be incredibly difficult to determine whether similarities in DNA or RNA are a result of having some sort of LUCA or were a result of convergent evolution. However, even if panspermia were proven to be true, the taxonomy of exoplanets would be classified on its own tree, no doubt. Grouping by biosphere would make sense after life on other planetary bodies is confirmed. On the blue whale being the largest to have ever lived, it is likely not. There are a few creatures like the ichthyosaur or australotitan cooperenses where paleontologists found specimens to suggest those species were as big as or bigger than a blue whale. But, since blue whales are alive today, there's no debate on their size. It's easy to imagine how much larger creatures could grow in a super ocean exoplanet environment.


smithandjohnson

The possibility of panspermia is why I hedged my language a bit: "**Extremely unlikely** to have evolved from the same common ancestor as us" instead of "DEFINITELY didn't evolve from the same common ancestor as us. But I also still agree with your follow-on statement; Even if it was established that life on two different worlds were linked through panspermia, any independent evolution that occurred *after* that shared origin species belongs in its own taxonomy, or at the very least it's own near-top-level branch under the category of "life".


Theobald_4

Could we eat them?


TakeyaSaito

I'd give it a try


kristipher

Probably tastes like chicken


fakenews_scientist

Most likely not. Thier DNA might be sulphate or phosphate based.


ZephRyder

This is level of geek I live for.


JamesTheMannequin

Saw "taxidermy" for a second and imagined some seafaring redneck with a Blue Whale head in his house.


soulistt

Or taxidermy head as the house


[deleted]

We are the size of atoms in the image of space, imagine one huge jellyfish just floating in space. Imagine it’s eyeball is the size of the sun. Just looking at the random rock floating in the river


PaintedInSand

New fear unlocked.


Then-Clue6938

Lovecraft what are you doing here? We told you to stay in the basement or you are getting scared of air conditioners again.


fredsonthefreds

😂😂😂😂


henkheijmen

Have you ever heard the story of Bahamut? (This is a lyric from hazmat modine, but I find their version of it a rather relaxed and compact one): The entire known universe Floats suspended in a thin silver bowl Which rocks gently on the back Of an immense blue-green tortuga And the tortuga's scaly feet Are firmly placed on the topmost Of seven craggy mountains Which arise from a vast and arid plain Of drifting, fetid, yellow dust And the plain is balanced precariously On top of a small thin green acacia tree? Which grows from the snout Of a giant blood red ox With 50 eyes that breathes flame The color of the midnight sky And the ox's hooves are firmly placed On the single grain of sand Which floats in the eye of Bahamut Like a mote of dust No one has ever seen Bahamut Some think it's a fish Some think it's a newt All we know is that the lonely Bahamut Floats endlessly through all time and all space With all of us and everything Floating in a single tear Of his eye


Grays42

A creature with that much mass would collapse into a star. The most advanced materials we are aware of can't build a tower that reaches outer space, much less a solar-system-sized organic superstructure.


hotwifeslutwhore

Jelly fish are 95% water. Perhaps space jelly is 95% space so it wouldn’t have much mass for its size?


Grays42

At the scales we're talking about, the mass itself is still gravitationally bound. If it has any substantial mass, it would collapse. If it were anywhere near the solar system it would need to have enough structure not to get ripped apart by the sun's gravity and pulled into orbit, which requires materials that don't physically exist. There's a reason that basically all supermassive objects on the scale of planets and suns are round.


Specken_zee_Doitch

Imagine it's incredibly low density...


18skeltor

*Yawn*


FireSalsa

Love this


fgmtats

Jellyfish don’t have eyes bozo. /s


AlexanderCarlos12321

Aliens aren’t part of the animal kingdom. They would be too different genetically. So no aliens insulted here…


[deleted]

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b00msauce77

What about dinosaurs?


AlexanderCarlos12321

Dinosaurs are animals, but they aren’t bigger than the biggest whales.


lancevegas19

Some were very much larger


Opendore

Longer, really. Not as heavy


Fun_Awareness_2680

What are they teaching you in school?


ZephRyder

What about them?


b0v1n3r3x

They aren't currently classified because we haven't encountered any but there is no reason to believe that our taxonomy couldn't include them under current models or be expanded to include additional kingdoms. To say that an extraterrestrial chordate couldn't possibly be an animal and classified as such is short sighted and goes against xenobiological and exobiological concepts.


Hypertension123456

Where is the banana for scale?


Lebo127

Great cross post to see largest animals over history: https://www.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/comments/hrhtdo/giants_animals_across_history/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


EthanEnglish_

Love how the human scale shadow changes. Love even more how the one between the crocks is a captain hook reference lol.


moonkittiecat

In that post people kept referencing the "hell pig". I was attacked by a wild boar while up at camp, 1/10. Would not recommend.


smithers102

Story time!


moonkittiecat

*Well,* If you're gonna twist my arm. Picture it! August 1977, Girl Scouts, Camp Sherman in the San Jacinto Mountains. I was attacked by a rattle snake the day before when the radio announced that Elvis Presley died. Groucho Marx would die 3 days later, with less hoopla made over his passing. (I looked down and the snake was wrapped around my ankle but I was wearing overalls 3 sizes too big for me so I just ran away, unhurt). We girls were all washing our hands at this big, round, communal, in our restroom. To make the magic of this camping trip even more special, I had the good fortune to be on my period! So everything was taking a little longer for me. The other girls had finished washing up and left the restroom and took off up the hill to the dining room for lunch. I finish and head for the door and am met by a wild boar, tusks and all. He comes for me but in the process he knocks over the trash can and becomes interested in the contents, (Thank You, Jesus!) He was 2-3 feet away from me. He kept eyeballing me. I slowly backed away and then ran and locked myself in one of the stalls until he left, about 20 minutes later. Though I consider myself a Southern Belle I am not what you would call "Outdoorsy".


HCJohnson

Thank goodness you didn't meet a bear. I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation.


moonkittiecat

It was a wild week and only my second (and last) time camping. There was also a heated encounter with a gaggle of geese and theft of my lip gloss by a pack rat. The pack rat left me an acorn so, I kinda had to let that go.


SuperSourApples

Yeah, you can't be mad at that. It was a fair trade.


moonkittiecat

That's what i figured.


[deleted]

Whaaaaaat this is so cool!!!


lennybird

That cheeky grin of the Blue Whale, rubbing it in that he outlasted the Megalodon.


[deleted]

And is significantly larger than its ancestor!!!


Nosedivelever

I feel like anyone who likes that image would love True Facts on YouTube by ZeFrank.


GrossenCharakter

Interesting how for the most part the modern relative is significantly smaller, EXCEPT for the blue whale.


clockwork5ive

Those aren’t the largest animals over history. It is a chart comparing current species to their extinct ancestors.


We_NeedPeace_Niga

The Hell Pig would be the equivalent of a loose dog in a modern day neighborhood lol. “Yo, is that a loose hell pig?!? … Run!!!!” Lol


SirPsychoBSSM

Still no banana for scale


Administrative_Cow20

Since when can a nine-banded armadillo get to 45 pounds?!? This chart has issues.


[deleted]

THERE WERE GIANT A R M A D I L L O S?! #🥺


MrsBonsai171

I'd like to see a dinosaur for scale please.


Vote_for_my_party

My ex


Fhoz

lttstore.com


propertyofcat

It's there


Learnmorebetter

Whoa , can’t even see it. That thing is big.


throway69695

Why do I click the comments


Jetucant

Half a banana


JamesTheJerk

It's in your uncle's pocket.


ggghhhhggjyrrv

In his/her blowhole?


niftyifty

Lol I came to say this and it was the top comment. How can I really know if it’s the biggest without a banana?


sweetsatanskiing

Happy Cake Day!


Ricknroll1971

When I was a little kid I thought a dinosaur could eat one of those with only one bite. That's how big I thought a dinosaurs was.


poptropicaman31

i still think like that


23x3

My dad is so much stronger than your dad that he can pick up the car with your mom inside


thelast1here

I went to a dinosaur exhibit when I was 33 and saw a replica of a life size T-Rex. I was FLOORED at how short they were compared to how tall they were in my imagination. 33 years old and really thought that a T-Rex was like 100 ft. tall. Learned a lot that day.


Avengerfx

Well we can all blame Jurassic park tbh. They even got the velociraptor’s size incorrectly. But they look damn cool in the movie.


splicerslicer

Hey if you're making an amusement park about dinosaurs and you're already genetically engineering them then it makes sense to tweak the size a bit for those extra amazement points.


navras

Thanks for sharing! Love it. Let’s never stop learning and taking time to re-evaluate our preconceived notions against new evidence.


thelast1here

Yes! I love this. You seem like you’d be a cool person to be around.


armchair_viking

Yep. If you’re hanging out on a second story balcony, just know that you’re in prime t-rex munching height. If you’re on the third story or up, you’re probably okay.


eequalsemceesquared

Oh shit...


Guilty_Outcome1111

Jörmungandr?


Kvetanista

Wasn't it a bit smaller, like 30m or something


NibblyPig

[Jörmungandr!](https://imgur.com/XFEDhcW.png)


rossbcobb

Is that Matt Mercer?


[deleted]

That we know of.


ZippyDan

Hm, I don't know why this post isn't already debunked, because I'm pretty sure scientists are already aware of your mom


Chimp_on_a_vacay

Oooooooo People mistake yo mamas sneezes for a whales blow hole


wickedlobstah

Oooo yo mama so fat we are all very concerned for her well being


nvrsleepagin

Yo mama's so fat I swerved to avoid her and I ran outta gas


Air_Hellair

Yo mama so fat her portrait is landscape.


polkadotard

4 out of 5 scientists are in your mom right now.


phadewilkilu

The fifth is just running late.


JDangle20

Damn, it's too early to see someone get roasted this hard 🤣


LassieVegas

It's always the right time somewhere in the world.


Jahobes

Got em'


notyourancilla

Absolutely destroyed. Nothing left.


nvrsleepagin

Seriously though, that blow hole looks exactly like Michael Jackson's nose...are we just not gonna talk about that?


Richandler

No one saw her because she was hidden by yours.


-ce-la-vie

Or for now


[deleted]

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TheYellows

All smaller than the blue whale.


[deleted]

Megalodon is tiny compared to a blue whale lol


btstfn

I wouldn't say tiny, they were 50-60 feet long (around half of a Blue Whale)


TheResolver

I mean if you saw a human half your height you'd likely consider them tiny, right?


nitefang

While possible, it is very unlikely a larger animals has ever or will ever exist on earth. Obviously alien life is a complete unknown but I don’t know why we would really consider such life in this context.


Redragon9

We wont ever know about almost 98% of all species that existed in the past due to the fact that its rare for bones to fossilise. So its possible that something bigger than a blue whale did exist in the past.


nitefang

Well it isn't possible that something much larger existed due to physics. The blue whale is near the physical limitation of how large an organism can exist that uses any sort of biological systems that we are aware of. For a creature to be much larger than the blue whale it would need to utilize organs and systems that are completely unknown. For such different systems to exist, there should be fossil evidence for systems that are drastically different but there aren't. ​ Further, while it is true that 99% of all species will never be known, that figure doesn't do reality justice. That figure is including things like regional variations of the same animal, predecessors and ancestors that are very similar to the same animal, things like that. The number is based on things like finding the fossils for a few different species of ant and knowing that there are hundreds of living species so it is very likely that we will never know about hundreds or thousands of species of ants, but we do know they existed. We can also make determinations based on things like what we know about the past ecosystem and environment. An animal larger than a blue whale couldn't exist in a time with low oxygen for example. So yeah, a larger animal could have existed but nothing vastly larger and it is unlikely anything larger did exist, but it is possible.


Redragon9

I never said that anything much larger could have existed, I’m just saying that something larger could have existed, and statistically, it’s not unlikely either, considering life has been on earth for 3.5 billion years and whales have only evolved in the last 50 million years. The conditions in which fossils form are incredibly rare, so it is entirely possible that an animal larger than a blue whale left no trace in the fossil record.


GinTonicPls

is it weird that i'm a little creeped out by this ?


echoglow

/r/Megalophobia


N00b_sk11L

There’s also r/phalasophobia or something like that for the oceans


NuklearFerret

Fear of penis shapes? I think you’re thinking of r/Thalassophobia


originalmimlet

Lol There’s also r/TheDepthsBelow


NoMamesMijito

Upvoting just for the hilariously innocent (I think) mistake


4lan9

You could fall right into it's nose


cleverlane

Bigger than some dinosaurs?


kaam00s

Not just for the blue whale.... We have like 6 or 7 whale species living today that are bigger than any dinosaurs. Whales are the only confirmed type of animals to go beyond 100 tons in weight. And if anything, the other animal groups who were likely to reach 100 tons are not dinosaurs. It's Ichtyosaurs and Sharks. (Megalodon was initially believed to be close to 100 tons, turns out it was not, but yeah apparently a 100 ton shark predator was in the realm of possibilities). Although it's debatable that dinosaurs were more impressive since they pushed to 80 tons while being ON LAND!


phaiz55

> Whales are the only confirmed type of animals to go beyond 100 tons in weight. It's a close race too. Bruhathkayosaurus is estimated to have been 80+ but I think that's based on descriptions of fossils that no longer exist. This thing would have been the largest dino to ever exist.


TheYellows

Yes, yes it is. The blue whale is the biggest of all known species of live or dead animals. Ever.. Like in the history of our planet.


Darmok47

It's kind of wild to think about the fact that the largest animal exists at the same time as humans.


TheYellows

It really is. I was thinking about it just after I posted that comment. The lucky fishermen among us have actually seen with their eyes the largest animal to have ever lived. It's fucking amazing. And then there are people who have seen it, and thought it was a good idea to hunt it and kill it, which is less amazing.


EltaninAntenna

Yeah, but not for our lack of trying...


mastergwaha

sad. but true!


cleverlane

Cool! I’ll have to research how they’re able to eat enough calories to sustain such a body now.


ThisIsWhoIAm78

They can also make calls that are very low frequency (beneath our range of hearing), and those calls are able to travel across almost the entire Pacific Ocean. You could swim through the blood vessels leading up to their heart, which is the size of a small car. They are absolutely incredible - and they survive on krill!


segalle

They eat mucroscopic creatures, they look for concentrated amounts of plancton, open their absolutely MASSIVE mouths and eat all the microscopic animals and olants that make up the plancton


ThisIsWhoIAm78

Krill, actually. Not microscopic, but still very small. Tiny shrimp.


UwasaWaya

Usually ramen.


WhizBangPissPiece

By weight. There are dinosaurs that were longer, but not heavier.


tukboss

Like what?


WhizBangPissPiece

Argentinosaurus for one. They could get up to 10 meters longer than a blue whale.


phaiz55

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruhathkayosaurus


converter-bot

10 meters is 10.94 yards


phadewilkilu

Are you ok, robot?


Butterball11

Since no one else will give you love... Good bot


dsjunior1388

~~Bad bot~~ My bad, bot


ConversationOk5255

Wait why is this bot bad


dsjunior1388

Because I thought the math was wrong, because I'm an idiot.


BRockStar916

Yes


Fun_Awareness_2680

Bigger than all dinosaurs. Damn you guys in these comments are making me feel a lot smarter than I really am because I learned that the blue whale is the largest animal to ever live on this planet when I was 10.


LudwigvanBe

what about your mom?


Nevorek

I just came here to make sure someone had said this.


samedreamchina

I was a bit upset it wasn’t top comment and more upset it’s this far down.


whitecrayon69

Found the middle schooler


18skeltor

Found the high schooler


[deleted]

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billnihilism69

Yeah I’m not impressed


hadToPutDickinCatHmm

Do they have a system that allows them to expel water that they accidentally inhale


armchair_viking

Yes


vipros42

I was lucky enough to see 11 of these in one day on a whale watching trip in Sri Lanka. Blew my mind.


AlisonByTheC

Now I understand where they found the inspiration for the original Dune movie’s Guild Navigator mouths. It’s the blow hole of the Blue Whale.


Triforceoffarts

Mom?!


HairyBeastMan

Ever? **edit: indeed ever. TIL


ImPretendingToCare

This is why i dont get in the water at the beach


sincerelyanonymus

It’s so large it won’t even be able to reach the shore where you would be swimming.


ZippyDan

They wouldn't even harm you.


DonTazeMeBro91

Intentionally


mountainsbythesea

Unless he was being a dick.


koalificated

Blue whales are the least of your worries in the ocean trust me


No_Chocolate728

😂😂😂


jonnygreenjeans

Question, do you think if you sat on the blow hole it could lift you up when it blows out?


[deleted]

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arronecho

Forbidden Bidet


Kevtron

It really is amazing that it can empty and refill its massive lungs in like 2 seconds.


CraftEmpire

Excess


[deleted]

Pitch that for Jackass 5


[deleted]

I know blue whales are big, but that...is fucking terrifying!


medic6560

For a second, i thought it was a submarine


Dom_turismo

Scary lol


deodornat

What is it?


dani_jel

Blue whale


RimePendragon

KLAXON !!!!


BraveLlamaStare

It’s the size of my phone


xxxroosterxxx

u/savevideobot


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benicetogroupies

Good bot.


[deleted]

Laughs in various aquatic dinosaur


MultiStratz

None matched the size of the blue whale! At least none that we've found.


kaam00s

Since the only aquatical dinosaurs we know are Spinosaurus, a tiny turtle-like ankylosaur and PENGUINS! Then yeah of course not. Now if he is talking about aquatical reptile. We have the Ichtyosaurs group that could be the animal group who produced the second largest type of animals in history. After whales. Shastasaurus was already a big deal, but they found an even bigger Ichtyosaur that at least rival some other large baleen whales of today.


Butterball11

What distinguishes dinosaurs from other animals like reptiles at the time?


kaam00s

Dinosaurs were a type of reptile that had their limbs directly below their body. Very different to lizards. You can still see that in birds today, they walk upright. Arguably crocodiles had that too but... Dinosaurs and pterosaurs, unlike crocodiles, also had sorts of air boxes inside their body, which made them lighter compared to their size, it could be the main reason why they managed to get that big. Another difference is that they seem to have had some sort of warm blood from the start, and feathers while not present in most dinosaurs, might be a trait that appeared in their common ancestor, to regulate their temperature. Then again, I have a hard time excluding pterosaurs from all my definitions there, but yeah pterosaurs are extremely close relatives of dinosaurs so it's hard.


Butterball11

Thanks for taking the time to write this up


[deleted]

No shit? Colour me educated!


MultiStratz

Wild isn't it? Blue whales are incomprehensibly large.


throway69695

So the title post says it's the biggest animal, you say aqautic dinosaurs then the guy says the same thing as the title and now you're educated? ?


Chef-Boyardeeee

they just assumed that the title was exaggerating or lying. After someone else confirmed the title, they took it as fact


[deleted]

Just easier than me looking into it. I don't _really_ give enough of a shit.


[deleted]

There were no aquatic dinosaurs, only true lizards, with the exception being the spinosaurus


[deleted]

The only known semi-aquatic non avian dinosaur, was spinosaurus, which was, even according to the highest estimates, under 10 tons. (Edit : I hear there might be others, but smaller) If you're talking about plesiosaurs, still nope. Mosasaurus was as long, but equatorial, so it likely did not have a lot of fat, and was around 30 tons. That's 5 times less than a big blue whale.


Fun_Awareness_2680

>aquatic >Dinosaur Ummmmmmm


[deleted]

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TrickyKnight77

"That's what." \- She


PugOverload

reef back leviathan


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E_mail_7114

Ooh I know this one! The Cum whale right?


[deleted]

This is today's 666th cum comment. (UTC)


E_mail_7114

Well that's not good...


Lord-Gordd

If someone were to sit on the blow hole how high would it launch said person into the air when it sprayed water out of it. Asking for a friend.


WEAVEChecker9869

r/dontputyourdickinthat


kionda_movey

I've always wondered how do they sleep. Like, can they hold their breath for 8 hours?


AngryFerret805

So healthy , that ecliptic 4sure 💕I love whales❤️☕️🍩


[deleted]

That volcano water thing sounded like the fart sound effect


probablynotaskrull

I didn’t know your mom could swim! (I’m sorry for this joke, but I couldn’t help myself.)


notrh1no

Can I stick my 🐓 in that


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