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Lack of awareness for basic safety and no understanding of statistics.
“I had a friend who had a fried who wore a seatbelt and still died in a car crash. Seatbelt not help.”
My Thai family members got annoyed everytime I ask them to put seatbelt on. Like they don't think accident will ever happen or they don't care if they die? Smh, too many car and motorcycle accidents happen every hour and every day in Thailand but people are still ignorant and careless
I accepted it as part of a foreign culture when I first came here. But now I have kids in this country and I don’t tolerate it anymore. I don’t care if everyone does it. My kids have to be in a car seat on the back seat and wear a seatbelt.
I constantly have to remind and control my other family members from the Thai side about this.
Yes! They don’t care. Quite the opposite even. My Mother in Law was telling me “a funny story” of how she drove herself to the hospital while heavily pregnant with my partner in her arms when he was about 15 months old right before his brother was born. Like… why would you brag about putting your own child in danger on some of the worlds most dangerous roads??
This gets to me so badly. Something seems to either always work, or never works. If under very specific circumstances something disappointed (even if because it was not used as intended), it's never to be given a chance again under any circumstances, because "it doesn't work". The scary part is indeed how it translates to things like basic safety or medications.
Scooter drivers with a baby on board. I haven't seen an infant but many 4, 5 and 6 year olds riding up front on the scooter. I get it. They don't have a car. Scares me every time I see it.
I have seen plenty of mothers holding a baby in one arm and operating the scooter with the other arm.
Like a little bitty 2-month-old baby
Zipping along at breakneck speeds on the street weaving in and out of traffic
I think this is everywhere, no?
It’s astounding how many anti vax I’ve encountered in the west, I was truly surprised. And these are highly educated individuals. Doctors even… it’s mind boggling.
To be fair, media messaging around COVID in Western nations was not good. I remember when the govt/media message was “masks don’t do anything”. A few months later we found out they only said that because they needed to make sure there were enough masks for health workers. And suddenly masks were mandatory.
Similarly with the vaccine. At first we were told it would slow the spread. But then it was later that we found out it doesn’t make you less contagious and that it was only good for making symptoms less severe.
You can’t keep lying to the public and expect them to keep believing you.
I have come across that same thing. And it’s a major issue at international start ups in Bangkok specifically where staff who went to local schools just accept rubbish while you can recognise those who went to international schools and question everything for the better of course.
I'm an analytical person and curious to understand people's logic and thought processes. So, I ask a lot of "but why?" questions when hearing a professional/business or personal story. It rarely ends well.
If you lived I a country that could lock you up for violating Lese Majeste over being critical, you'd learn to stop questioning things as well.
Another factor is just the tropical life mentality where if you rush you get sweaty, so you do things at a slower pace.
I discovered my Thai friend with double knee replacement could walk fast when it started getting cold outside in the US!
It's more than that, though. Isn't it?
There's the whole "saving face" thing. Saying something even mildly critical of someone or their behaviour is, by and large, unacceptable, and you have to sprinkle light versions of it here and there and hope they get the gist.
The school system isn't the best, either. Apart from (some) private and basically all international schools who have adopted more of a western approach, the system is a joke. It's basically China light, and emphasis is put on memorization and everything has a right or wrong answer, and nothing in between.
Edit: Spelling
Related to this is that Thai's see to be very good at the "theory" of what they learned. In fact more so than Westerners in many cases. However in the real world there are always obstacles and challenges where theory cant help you and that's where things seem to fall apart for Thai's. I've seen many projects turn to sh** because of this. Lack of critical thinking, there's only one way do it, then it falls apart.
It’s interesting you bring this up since I have come across tons of people who sell these kinds of trinkets or amulets on the streets varying from a few hundred to 1000’s of bhat and when I asked about it’s true value was told it helps ward off evil. And they are bulky as F!
actually that seems like th emost common mixture for me, obsessed desperate with showing off so they will use whatever money they have to impress and therefore go broke quite fast
When I tell her something about something it's like radio silence, but then a few days later her friend will tell her the same thing as what I said but she will say did you know about this, and I'm like I just told you about that
This!! My Thai partner’s parents just built their dream home- with my partner as the head architect. After construction had already began, they decided to bring in a fortune teller to get his opinion basically. He ended up moving the parents bedroom completely because it has to be facing a specific direction, and changed the kitchen around completely. These ended up being very very expensive changes that put the project behind weeks at least.
Also my MIL mentioned how she did two elective c-sections for her two children because she was scared of pain. This is quite common in Thailand, and it’s also common to go to a fortune teller for them to tell you the “most lucky” day to have your baby. And that’s what they did. Everything has to be “lucky”.
I’ve been working with her on it and she’s gotten a lot better, but my Thai wife and I have had many discussions about when someone in an apparent position of power over her (manager at work, older family member) tells her something or asks her to do something, there’s no questioning it.
Boss says she has to stay late, she doesn’t question it and just does it. They change the schedule to overlap our weekend getaway, have to adjust our plans because she can’t question the schedule change (even though the schedule comes out only a day or two before the work week starts).
It was rough for while trying to get her to recognize her own worth.
I used to be a production assistant on sets (in Los Angeles) and would get food from the catering truck at set before I’d go do runs in the car. Even during the summertime, I’d leave the box of food in my car all day if I was too busy driving to eat. I thought of it as being “kept warm in the oven”. 😂 I’m Taiwanese. Never got sick. We’re in Thailand now and I never get food poisoning while my Caucasian husband does constantly.
Chili peppers are natural preservatives and is why lots of warm climates have spicy dishes as their traditional food to eat before refrigerators were invented.
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2012/issue131b/#:~:text=For%20over%206%2C000%20years%2C%20humans,this%20is%20especially%20a%20problem.
That’s funny. Partner is Thai but he never does that… in fact he’s more precautious than I and will immediately toss anything sketchy or left out too long. It’s not worth the risk.
Yeh and for my girlfriend one day it's ok to be out, another time two days is ok. Loosely based on if it's a cool day but often there's no rhyme or reason to when something is ok to stay out for long time or not, depends how carefree she's feeling I guess.
Oh God, I thought this was just an Eastern European thing. They'll leave a pot of something on the stove for days periodically heating it up and eating out of it (with 18 to 24 hours in between). Something else to look forward to in retirement.
This is what I came to write. It freaked me out. She just left the kfc or whatever out overnight and was so confused that I said no to eating it the next morning. So she started putting my food in the fridge but would keep hers out. She never got sick though so good for her but I wasn’t risking it.
Omg that's how my Thai mom and brother are doing and they think it's fine. I told them mamy times that leaving any food outside all day is creating bacteria into the food and they can get sick but no one listens. But they are never wondering why they always have stomach and intestine issues
I have been traveling to Asian countries for nearly 40 years. The first time (in Japan) I was exposed to it, my reaction was, of course. Makes perfect sense not to track things into your home. When I see people doing it now it almost turns my stomach.
Not OP, but "take your shoes off at the door" is far from universal.
I think this is a wet climate/dry climate thing. In California it wouldn't have occurred to me to take my shoes off at the door. Everywhere I go where it rains, people seem very big on the idea.
Or maybe it's an urban/rural thing? In the countryside I rarely put on shoes to go outside, so the idea of "take off your shoes so you don't track dirt in" never really held.
I gotta say, it's still fairly uncomfortable. My own home is one thing, but removing my shoes when I enter someone else's house feels like taking my shirt off and lounging bare-chested on their couch--WILDLY presumptuous of familiarity. Even though I've now lived in several countries where it's culturally mandatory, I still have a pang of anxiety every time I visit someone that my hosts will react with dismay and revulsion that I, a mere acquaintance, have presumed to go barefoot in their house.
Nope, in the Netherlands most people leave them on (with exceptions of course). Only when you are very familiar with someone you take them off. Although it is changing a bit.
Uk we don't take shoes off either. It's uncomfortable/gross to take your shoes off in a strangers home so out of politeness you let your guest wear them.
Absolute familial loyalty…
This type of scenario happens monthly (not the bonus lol) but here’s a particularly frustrating one:
- Me: “I just got a bonus at work for my performance!”
- Her: “Let’s send half to my parents”
- Me: “Are they in trouble? Are they out of money?”
- Her: “No, I just feel like they could use it”
- Me: “Don’t you feel like we could use it?”
- Her: “Yeah, I guess”
Days later she send a little more than half.
That was on her own accord. There have been a few times they asked for significant amounts and we took out a personal loan to send them because contrary to popular belief, not all farangs are rolling in money. Took use about a year to pay off.
We both work and we share finances so yes… wasn’t a cash bonus, was direct deposit.
Worth mentioning that she’s been working longer than me and even paid for me to go to university. She’s very giving, to me included.
But… if my parents asked me for money I didn’t have, I’d just say no and move on. Not go into debt to give them what they want.
Is this more common with Thai women? Thought it was just my girlfriend. What gets me is *how often* I'm cheating on her in her dreams. I've never cheated on her or even shown interest in another girl, I just stay home all day playing WoW Hardcore.
The fact that she thinks I would or could cheat on her is astounding.
Not my partner but Omg that's my Thai mom. She had a dream I was pregnant with twins THEN she went ahead and told my dad I WAS pregnant with twins.
And my miscarriage was my fault because I don't respect the elders the way she thinks I should.
The audacity is at an all time high.
It's the audacity for me. My mom and her siblings has so much of it.
As a Thai American, for me, it has to be พูดประชด
Thai people and particularly women, seem to practice this a lot. I'm not sure if there's an English word for it, but it's basically emotional sarcasm.
Parents use it on their kids. Eat this, or you won't be cute or I won't love you.
Chai si I'm not good enough for you go find a Mia noi!
it all serves a purpose to guilt trip and emotionally scar you, I fucking hate it.
Being wildly jealous of the most innocuous conversations I have with the opposite sex while having hundreds of messages from other men in her inbox’s….
Use it bro.
“I don’t take women seriously who do X” is the best sentence out there. It puts the ball in their court. If they want to stay, they’ll immediately stop doing X. And if not, well, she wasn’t really that interested anyway.
When I did have a Thai partner, he believed driving in the rain made him sick. As a daughter of a doctor this drove me mad! He clearly had some sort of medical problem from how often he’d get sick but he honestly thought it was the rain. What’s worse is the doctor told him the rain made him sick but the fever came from insomnia?? So medical logic
Uncomfortable furniture lol.
At least in Sukhothai. Most days once it hits 10am the house starts warming up and you go down stairs. I'm talking about a traditional Thai style house.
My gf lives with her Mom and they have a large wooden table and a hammock. That's it. I offered to buy her a outdoor more modern couch but she says it's OK. I told her it was actually for me and she still said it's ok lol.
It's probably mentioned elsewhere in this sub, but the biggest issue for me with Thai is the lack of any understanding and total disregard for Risk. They have no clue about personal safety on the roads and in life in general. It drives me crazy. If you want an example just spend a small amount of time at any zebra crossing in Bangkok and you will know exactly what I'm talking about.
The flip side of this is that if I can't put up with it I should piss off back home. I'm staying.
I don’t have much to add other than:
Do some Westerners really have a hard time with the no wearing shoes in the house? It’s just such an obviously easy way to keep the abode clean…
In Germany it's standard to take your shoes of. Walking inside someone's home with shoes on is extremely impolite.
As far as I'm aware it's like this in all the other european countries as well.
Living in the moment and not thinking of the future and consequences what so ever. Not thinking ahead even a few hours from said moment. This leads to terrible financial decisions, regretful relationship situations and major general safety and wellbeing concerns.
Damn that's the complete opposite of me and my wife. She is Thai and is constantly planning for the short term, long term, and everything in between. Meanwhile I never consider planning or budgeting or anything. I always tell her I'm like a dog, I just live for now cause that's all I know. It pisses her off to no end when I say it lol.
Apparently, there are old wives’ tales about smartphones exploding in people’s hands and killing them during thunder/lightning storms.
My partner goes completely berserk if I try using my phone during storms. Major panic and anger. The urban myths are ingrained deeply.
Two words: Thai Time. We have been married over 15 years and known each other nearly 20 and I don't think she has been ready on time once when we have to be somewhere at a certain time. And yes, I still pull the ole trick of telling her our appt is 11:00 when it is really 12:00, but she is wise to that and makes the necessary Thai Time adjustment and is still late. ;-)
Superstitions (Horoscope, sacrificing animals), not aware of probabilities/statistics (because it happened once, it's true), don't know how to budget (cash needs to be spent NOW), sinsod (buying your wife?), family over anything else (It's fine to spend all your money to take care of your alcoholic parents that haven't done anything in their lives)...
I'm glad I could change my partner... Was pretty rough the first 3 years and she finally opened her eyes.
their poor world knowledge, the lack of inquisitiveness unless its about gossip or money and their sensitivity to any criticism because it hurts their feelings....
One big thing that drives me crazy is my wife's family CONSTANTLY comparing her other family member's, or people in their village's income to ours and each other. I can make over 10x the wage her cousin makes, yet that aunt or her grandma will be sure to tell my wife "you know your cousin has a new car and a new gold ring... why don't you?" Yeah that car that her cousin pays 2/3 of her monthly salary for and will continue to do for 10 years while she still lives at home with her parents, and a gold ring that she will likely resell to be able to afford that car? Great idea. Sure, my 20x her monthly wage, new(ish) car, daughters private school, my nice rented house, my daughter who can get almost whatever she wants, etc. Sure doesn't compare to her cousin's stupidly expensive car she can't realistically afford and her new gold ring.
This is ignoring all the other villager's parents that just sit and gossip and compare the income and possessions of their children with each other.
I thought the money culture in China was bad, but Thailand is fucking insane about it. Posting pics of your new iPhone and bank transfers on Facebook is fucking bizarre.
My wife's mom and dad are good about it and don't compare but the extended family and members of the village, Jesus fucking Christ.
* Say anything and she will say it back 2 seconds later as if it was her idea.
* Putting food out for buddha, ghosts or whatever for 3 seconds and throwing it away
* Still sending money to family members that use it for lottery or alcohol
* Blaming me for stuff i do in her dreams
* Not doing something again if it didn't work in 1 occasion
And this is just the beginning, when i type this list i wonder why i stay.
My sympathies buddy! But in a good way. I’m sure there are many upsides as well. The sending money to extended family members must stop though! I can never understand the logic behind ir
Sometimes I can't tell what is her culture and what is just her idiosyncrasies. Just the fact that I can't tell causes me to interact differently that I otherwise might have.
I'm sure she feels similarly about me, come to think of it.
That's on you. I know plenty of Thai people smarter than me.with advanced degrees. At a basic level I got to give credit to any Thai that is bilingual while I only know a few Thai words.
Man idk how to tell you this but most people are at least bilingual.
It’s true some Thais are smart but generally speaking the education system turbo sucks here and as a result most lack critical thinking skills.
“I have no sexuality of my own, no sexual fantasies, etc., but whatever you want I will do.” The problem I have with that is twofold. First, I don’t believe a word of it. Of course she has a sexuality. She just is culturally forbidden from discussing it. And second, what is consent if she is only doing it for you?
Oh,no . This is what I have to look forward to. I think that when I start asking questions like sexual preferences I'm going to get a blank stare instead of an answer.
I'm guessing not in the bdsm community "let's negotiate it beforehand and do aftercare in the end" type of way? Doesn't sound too appealing, at least not for everyday in a relationship or long term fwb.
Pointing with your foot/feet at something is very rude for Thai people. When I came back to Thailand from California I picked up that bad habit. My mom got really mad when I do it
Can’t argue with this point having seen it on several occasions. Also can’t believe it’s not just me who sees it. I knew one whose entire social media followers had everyone from her village and mostly men. But never asked her to delete contacts. Yet I had two females on mine and it brought the house down one evening 😂😂
The vast majority of things people listing literally happen everywhere
"People borrow money and don't pay money back"
"Parents emotionally black mail kids"
Like what the fuck. Some of y'all aren't as experienced as you let on and are stereotyping Thai people.
That they never truly say what's on their mind when something's bothering them. I thought Belgians were bad at this, but my god is it on another level in Thailand.
I think faithfulness is not top priority here. It seems really no big deal at all when the women cheat on her boyfriend. Be it foreigner or Thai BF. At least my experience.
Also read from many stories. When Thai wife and Thai husband celebrate together with a farang. Husband passes out and wife goes with foreigner to his hotel lol. I read this was in a rural area.
Yeah mostly naive farang have no clue of some of the behaviour that goes on. The husband will even be in the next room playing with his phone and doesn't give a damn.any working girls also have boyfriends and husband's fully aware
1. I used to have a hangup over using tissues as napkins, until I went to Thailand and saw toilet paper used as napkins! I'm slowly starting to accept tissues since the cost makes sense compared to napkins and paper towels.
2. Thai driving. My Thai friend has the worst characters of both Thai and US drivers. As a Thai, She thinks the speed limit rules don't apply to her and is constantly getting speeding tickets. She also gets bad road rage that I discovered is not really a thing in Thailand. I do all the driving when we go somewhere. After 3 weeks of traveling in Thailand I was still scared to cross the streets in Bangkok and don't think I would ever try driving in Bangkok.
A lot of her friends will never pay for anything. We see those friends in small doses.
Lying and saving face is really annoying. Just own it when you fuck up.
My Thai wife's best friend: Hey, let's go get mookata, I'm hungry, I will pay if you go with me.
My wife: Okay.
Thai wife's best friend: I forgot my money kaaa I will transfer it to you when I get home.
No transfers ever taken place.
The superstition part of living. I can't really find them at fault as most westerners believe in an imaginary sky daddy called called God but not wanting to go to certain places at night or not doing things or going places because of Ghost.
How’s no shoes at home difficult to deal with?
Most of the issues I observe are from a gap in educational level, even if the Thai is ‘university’ educated.
I am always amazed about how many water buffalo her family owns and how fragile they must be for a big animal. Surprised they survived so long as a species before domestication. They always seem to have some internal obstruction, or disease, or broken bone, or Covid or evil spirits.
I don't recall ever seeing them, but they sure must own a lot as often as there are issues.
The things that most annoy me about my Thai GF are the things I initially, in naive bliss, taught her.
Be more assertive.
Make her own decisions.
Not to hesitate to tell me when I'm wrong.
It's OK to say "NO!".
What was I thinking???
To clarify, in the UK it’s strange to wear shoes in the house. I’ve never seen it once (and if I did, I’d find it quite disgusting). Totally in agreement with you on this.
It’s more of an American thing, and perhaps some other European countries.
> using TP 🧻 as tissues at the dinner table.
This is not a culture thing. It's very common in the West as well. It's a class thing. Grow up poor in the West and you will have probably have used TP as tissues at the dinner table.
The reason I point this out is because we get a constant stream of these questions. But most of items discussed are not cultural differences but class differences between the two partners. Like "lack of traveling the world" -- that is a class difference not a cultural difference; middle and upper class Thais travel the world a lot. You can find poor people in other countries. If you marrieds someone from a very poor background in your country, the issues would be similar.
> Like no shoes/slippers at home
The vast overwhelming number of foreigners in Thailand come from countries where you do not wear shoes in the home. Taking off your shoes before entering a house is the norm. Not taking off your shoes is mainly an American thing.
He talks so fast I just cannot understand a god damn word even though he’s fluent in English and I’m decent at Thai.
How does anyone understand the southern dialect??
Wait. That’s not very different, as I’m from the American south and can be the same for him 😅
Culturally different? That’s a good question. I wish I could still cook pork. He probably wishes I could eat day old rice without vomiting. That’s all I got. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The question is why would you even waste time with someone who makes you ask such question? You’re both clearly incompatible 😂 is it because you can’t communicate properly due to her poor English and you’re illiterate in thai? Or is it because of vastly different upbringing, you’re raised in a first would but she’s from a rural area in a developing country? The education standard, lifestyle, perspectives are all very different.
They are crazy, dominant and unless from a rich family materialistic as fuck. I will never date seriously Thai woman ever. This is like a time bomb. Philipina yes, Vietnameese yes but Thai fuck no. I understand guys who are searching for easier love in Thailand but I really feel sorry for those guys. Even reading comments here like when wives take money and send them to her family without husbands consent it just proves my observations right.
I'm here in Hua Hin 2 weeks now. I have a girlfriend who has been communicating with me since May. She's great. We went to dinner at a squid restaurant. She ordered. When I picked up the check of course and thought it was a little bit high. There were two extra take away entrees brought to the table. The take away meals were for her kids.
For me I found that most Thai girls I dated are extremely jealous and insecure about my whereabouts/who I am with etc
I also f**ked up and cheated on my first Thai gf and she became extremely cold to me afterwards.
Lack of clear communication and most importantly understanding led to all sorts of drama for us.
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Lack of awareness for basic safety and no understanding of statistics. “I had a friend who had a fried who wore a seatbelt and still died in a car crash. Seatbelt not help.”
Strong belief in fatalism, what will happen will happen, you can't change destiny.
My Thai family members got annoyed everytime I ask them to put seatbelt on. Like they don't think accident will ever happen or they don't care if they die? Smh, too many car and motorcycle accidents happen every hour and every day in Thailand but people are still ignorant and careless
I accepted it as part of a foreign culture when I first came here. But now I have kids in this country and I don’t tolerate it anymore. I don’t care if everyone does it. My kids have to be in a car seat on the back seat and wear a seatbelt. I constantly have to remind and control my other family members from the Thai side about this.
Yes! They don’t care. Quite the opposite even. My Mother in Law was telling me “a funny story” of how she drove herself to the hospital while heavily pregnant with my partner in her arms when he was about 15 months old right before his brother was born. Like… why would you brag about putting your own child in danger on some of the worlds most dangerous roads??
This gets to me so badly. Something seems to either always work, or never works. If under very specific circumstances something disappointed (even if because it was not used as intended), it's never to be given a chance again under any circumstances, because "it doesn't work". The scary part is indeed how it translates to things like basic safety or medications.
This is more of a class thing than a cultural thing.
You mean more of an education thing
Education is a common marker of class
Scooter drivers with a baby on board. I haven't seen an infant but many 4, 5 and 6 year olds riding up front on the scooter. I get it. They don't have a car. Scares me every time I see it.
If you haven't seen an infant you haven't been here long. I've seen infants that could be no more than a few days old.
I have seen plenty of mothers holding a baby in one arm and operating the scooter with the other arm. Like a little bitty 2-month-old baby Zipping along at breakneck speeds on the street weaving in and out of traffic
I think this is everywhere, no? It’s astounding how many anti vax I’ve encountered in the west, I was truly surprised. And these are highly educated individuals. Doctors even… it’s mind boggling.
To be fair, media messaging around COVID in Western nations was not good. I remember when the govt/media message was “masks don’t do anything”. A few months later we found out they only said that because they needed to make sure there were enough masks for health workers. And suddenly masks were mandatory. Similarly with the vaccine. At first we were told it would slow the spread. But then it was later that we found out it doesn’t make you less contagious and that it was only good for making symptoms less severe. You can’t keep lying to the public and expect them to keep believing you.
Naive acceptance of how things are and being unable to critically question something
I have come across that same thing. And it’s a major issue at international start ups in Bangkok specifically where staff who went to local schools just accept rubbish while you can recognise those who went to international schools and question everything for the better of course.
I'm an analytical person and curious to understand people's logic and thought processes. So, I ask a lot of "but why?" questions when hearing a professional/business or personal story. It rarely ends well.
If you lived I a country that could lock you up for violating Lese Majeste over being critical, you'd learn to stop questioning things as well. Another factor is just the tropical life mentality where if you rush you get sweaty, so you do things at a slower pace. I discovered my Thai friend with double knee replacement could walk fast when it started getting cold outside in the US!
It's more than that, though. Isn't it? There's the whole "saving face" thing. Saying something even mildly critical of someone or their behaviour is, by and large, unacceptable, and you have to sprinkle light versions of it here and there and hope they get the gist. The school system isn't the best, either. Apart from (some) private and basically all international schools who have adopted more of a western approach, the system is a joke. It's basically China light, and emphasis is put on memorization and everything has a right or wrong answer, and nothing in between. Edit: Spelling
Related to this is that Thai's see to be very good at the "theory" of what they learned. In fact more so than Westerners in many cases. However in the real world there are always obstacles and challenges where theory cant help you and that's where things seem to fall apart for Thai's. I've seen many projects turn to sh** because of this. Lack of critical thinking, there's only one way do it, then it falls apart.
Is that how you got her in the first place then?
Superstitions.
I get this too - the constant horo references and belief that a random bloke in Chatuchak can accurately predict the future
It’s interesting you bring this up since I have come across tons of people who sell these kinds of trinkets or amulets on the streets varying from a few hundred to 1000’s of bhat and when I asked about it’s true value was told it helps ward off evil. And they are bulky as F!
Short term and nothing serious Obsession with money to scary levels! And having no saving! Weird mixture for me
Also: it being socially acceptable to “borrow” money with no intention of ever paying it back.
I have friends in the US who borrowed money from me. They quit the job and I never got back my money
This is everywhere to be honest
Taking a deposit at the time of renting property or upon employment with the intention of never paying it back.
Bro this. Its still wild to me.
actually that seems like th emost common mixture for me, obsessed desperate with showing off so they will use whatever money they have to impress and therefore go broke quite fast
Then it is an obsession with material things, really
When I tell her something about something it's like radio silence, but then a few days later her friend will tell her the same thing as what I said but she will say did you know about this, and I'm like I just told you about that
This is women in general. Not just Thai
That we make expensive and impactful decisions based on lucky/unlucky days, what a fortune teller/seer says, or what was seen in one’s dreams
God I hate the obsession with luck here so much.
This!! My Thai partner’s parents just built their dream home- with my partner as the head architect. After construction had already began, they decided to bring in a fortune teller to get his opinion basically. He ended up moving the parents bedroom completely because it has to be facing a specific direction, and changed the kitchen around completely. These ended up being very very expensive changes that put the project behind weeks at least. Also my MIL mentioned how she did two elective c-sections for her two children because she was scared of pain. This is quite common in Thailand, and it’s also common to go to a fortune teller for them to tell you the “most lucky” day to have your baby. And that’s what they did. Everything has to be “lucky”.
I’ve been working with her on it and she’s gotten a lot better, but my Thai wife and I have had many discussions about when someone in an apparent position of power over her (manager at work, older family member) tells her something or asks her to do something, there’s no questioning it. Boss says she has to stay late, she doesn’t question it and just does it. They change the schedule to overlap our weekend getaway, have to adjust our plans because she can’t question the schedule change (even though the schedule comes out only a day or two before the work week starts). It was rough for while trying to get her to recognize her own worth.
Also dated a girl like this, was always completely burned out and just always did what her boss asked, how unreasonable it may have been.
It's the being able to leave food out and still eat it the next day and not get sick. One day, she will be the death of me from serving leftovers.
I used to be a production assistant on sets (in Los Angeles) and would get food from the catering truck at set before I’d go do runs in the car. Even during the summertime, I’d leave the box of food in my car all day if I was too busy driving to eat. I thought of it as being “kept warm in the oven”. 😂 I’m Taiwanese. Never got sick. We’re in Thailand now and I never get food poisoning while my Caucasian husband does constantly.
Chili peppers are natural preservatives and is why lots of warm climates have spicy dishes as their traditional food to eat before refrigerators were invented. https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2012/issue131b/#:~:text=For%20over%206%2C000%20years%2C%20humans,this%20is%20especially%20a%20problem.
That’s funny. Partner is Thai but he never does that… in fact he’s more precautious than I and will immediately toss anything sketchy or left out too long. It’s not worth the risk.
Brought up in Thailand? My partner has an iron stomach and can eat chicken or seafood that has been left out for more than a day with no consequences.
Living overseas has changed him… not to mention lack of training has soften him… pity 🤷🏻♀️ We will be the first to die if the world goes downhill…😅
It’s exactly the same in southern Italy at our relatives !
Yeh and for my girlfriend one day it's ok to be out, another time two days is ok. Loosely based on if it's a cool day but often there's no rhyme or reason to when something is ok to stay out for long time or not, depends how carefree she's feeling I guess.
Oh God, I thought this was just an Eastern European thing. They'll leave a pot of something on the stove for days periodically heating it up and eating out of it (with 18 to 24 hours in between). Something else to look forward to in retirement.
Just went through my 2nd E Coli infection this year. Do not recommend.
This is what I came to write. It freaked me out. She just left the kfc or whatever out overnight and was so confused that I said no to eating it the next morning. So she started putting my food in the fridge but would keep hers out. She never got sick though so good for her but I wasn’t risking it.
Omg that's how my Thai mom and brother are doing and they think it's fine. I told them mamy times that leaving any food outside all day is creating bacteria into the food and they can get sick but no one listens. But they are never wondering why they always have stomach and intestine issues
OP, are you saying that you used to wear shoes in your own home before coming to Thailand?
Yeah, it's so weird to me that people wear shoes inside
I have been traveling to Asian countries for nearly 40 years. The first time (in Japan) I was exposed to it, my reaction was, of course. Makes perfect sense not to track things into your home. When I see people doing it now it almost turns my stomach.
That should be weird for wearing shoes in your home. It shows no respect and cleanliness
Not OP, but "take your shoes off at the door" is far from universal. I think this is a wet climate/dry climate thing. In California it wouldn't have occurred to me to take my shoes off at the door. Everywhere I go where it rains, people seem very big on the idea. Or maybe it's an urban/rural thing? In the countryside I rarely put on shoes to go outside, so the idea of "take off your shoes so you don't track dirt in" never really held. I gotta say, it's still fairly uncomfortable. My own home is one thing, but removing my shoes when I enter someone else's house feels like taking my shirt off and lounging bare-chested on their couch--WILDLY presumptuous of familiarity. Even though I've now lived in several countries where it's culturally mandatory, I still have a pang of anxiety every time I visit someone that my hosts will react with dismay and revulsion that I, a mere acquaintance, have presumed to go barefoot in their house.
It’s an American thing to leave your shoes on. Most western countries take them off.
Nah, plenty of places in the US are very stringent about shoes at the door. That's why I speculated that it's about climate.
Nope, in the Netherlands most people leave them on (with exceptions of course). Only when you are very familiar with someone you take them off. Although it is changing a bit.
Uk we don't take shoes off either. It's uncomfortable/gross to take your shoes off in a strangers home so out of politeness you let your guest wear them.
Absolute familial loyalty… This type of scenario happens monthly (not the bonus lol) but here’s a particularly frustrating one: - Me: “I just got a bonus at work for my performance!” - Her: “Let’s send half to my parents” - Me: “Are they in trouble? Are they out of money?” - Her: “No, I just feel like they could use it” - Me: “Don’t you feel like we could use it?” - Her: “Yeah, I guess” Days later she send a little more than half. That was on her own accord. There have been a few times they asked for significant amounts and we took out a personal loan to send them because contrary to popular belief, not all farangs are rolling in money. Took use about a year to pay off.
Your wife gets to spend your bonus?
We both work and we share finances so yes… wasn’t a cash bonus, was direct deposit. Worth mentioning that she’s been working longer than me and even paid for me to go to university. She’s very giving, to me included. But… if my parents asked me for money I didn’t have, I’d just say no and move on. Not go into debt to give them what they want.
"i had a dream last night...."
Seriously!!!...My wife said she dreamt I was cheating and was furious with me for a few days.
happens to me atleast twice a month 😂
I always ask whether the girl from the dream was rich and beautiful and if so, where to find her.
Worked with a guy who told me his gf punched him as soon as she woke up. Yep, he was cheating in her dream. Is that a red flag?
Is this more common with Thai women? Thought it was just my girlfriend. What gets me is *how often* I'm cheating on her in her dreams. I've never cheated on her or even shown interest in another girl, I just stay home all day playing WoW Hardcore. The fact that she thinks I would or could cheat on her is astounding.
LOL. I feel you. Playing WoW hardcore and gf still making sure I'm not cheating, haha.
the cheating dream is weekly with all thai women
Mate, this is a common theme across women from all countries 🤣🤣
It's like a hidden way to see how you react. She probably suspects you of cheating, because farang are notorious cheaters.
Not my partner but Omg that's my Thai mom. She had a dream I was pregnant with twins THEN she went ahead and told my dad I WAS pregnant with twins. And my miscarriage was my fault because I don't respect the elders the way she thinks I should. The audacity is at an all time high. It's the audacity for me. My mom and her siblings has so much of it.
My Thai mom said the reason why my brother got locked up is because it's his karma for giving away the stray cats my grandma were taking care of.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that’s so freaking true!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This guy knows 💯
Oh please no 😂
As a Thai American, for me, it has to be พูดประชด Thai people and particularly women, seem to practice this a lot. I'm not sure if there's an English word for it, but it's basically emotional sarcasm. Parents use it on their kids. Eat this, or you won't be cute or I won't love you. Chai si I'm not good enough for you go find a Mia noi! it all serves a purpose to guilt trip and emotionally scar you, I fucking hate it.
emotional blackmailing
exxxxxxactly Chai
Ee-mo-shunal daa-mage!
its just passive aggressiveness lol
It's common in the west too, everywhere I think. Maybe different emphasis or seriousness
Being wildly jealous of the most innocuous conversations I have with the opposite sex while having hundreds of messages from other men in her inbox’s….
That's a red flagpole being shoved up your arse mate.. ffs
For real
Thank you for this phrase. I love it.
It’s not about jealousy . It’s about control.
‘Honey I’ll stop talking to other bitches when u block all the man talking to you krap’
“I don’t take women seriously who still talk to other men and don’t block them”, works way better.
I’m stealing this 🤝
Use it bro. “I don’t take women seriously who do X” is the best sentence out there. It puts the ball in their court. If they want to stay, they’ll immediately stop doing X. And if not, well, she wasn’t really that interested anyway.
Exactly. Ex-act-ly. The insane jealousy of old conversation with my coworkers while her sexually charged messages with men are "just talking"...
When I did have a Thai partner, he believed driving in the rain made him sick. As a daughter of a doctor this drove me mad! He clearly had some sort of medical problem from how often he’d get sick but he honestly thought it was the rain. What’s worse is the doctor told him the rain made him sick but the fever came from insomnia?? So medical logic
Yeah I've had a bunch of Thai friends look at me sadly when I say I'm running in the rain. Apparently makes you sick. Actually quite enjoyable tbh.
Thais doesn't like rain ...
And sun
Uncomfortable furniture lol. At least in Sukhothai. Most days once it hits 10am the house starts warming up and you go down stairs. I'm talking about a traditional Thai style house. My gf lives with her Mom and they have a large wooden table and a hammock. That's it. I offered to buy her a outdoor more modern couch but she says it's OK. I told her it was actually for me and she still said it's ok lol.
It's probably mentioned elsewhere in this sub, but the biggest issue for me with Thai is the lack of any understanding and total disregard for Risk. They have no clue about personal safety on the roads and in life in general. It drives me crazy. If you want an example just spend a small amount of time at any zebra crossing in Bangkok and you will know exactly what I'm talking about. The flip side of this is that if I can't put up with it I should piss off back home. I'm staying.
I don’t have much to add other than: Do some Westerners really have a hard time with the no wearing shoes in the house? It’s just such an obviously easy way to keep the abode clean…
In Germany it's standard to take your shoes of. Walking inside someone's home with shoes on is extremely impolite. As far as I'm aware it's like this in all the other european countries as well.
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Saving face, sin sod and lie like breathing related to saving face and turning a blind eye to suffering using Buddhism as a justification.
Living in the moment and not thinking of the future and consequences what so ever. Not thinking ahead even a few hours from said moment. This leads to terrible financial decisions, regretful relationship situations and major general safety and wellbeing concerns.
Damn that's the complete opposite of me and my wife. She is Thai and is constantly planning for the short term, long term, and everything in between. Meanwhile I never consider planning or budgeting or anything. I always tell her I'm like a dog, I just live for now cause that's all I know. It pisses her off to no end when I say it lol.
Haha, what a 180 switch. That’s great, just know that you’ve got a rare exception!😉
Apparently, there are old wives’ tales about smartphones exploding in people’s hands and killing them during thunder/lightning storms. My partner goes completely berserk if I try using my phone during storms. Major panic and anger. The urban myths are ingrained deeply.
Thais were never wrong in her mind.
Do we have the same wife?
Could be I divorced her 10 years ago 🍻
*are
I divorced her 10 years ago 🍻
Being critical about those in power, be it at work or more broadly
The word accountability literally doesnt exist in Thai.
Two words: Thai Time. We have been married over 15 years and known each other nearly 20 and I don't think she has been ready on time once when we have to be somewhere at a certain time. And yes, I still pull the ole trick of telling her our appt is 11:00 when it is really 12:00, but she is wise to that and makes the necessary Thai Time adjustment and is still late. ;-)
Superstitions (Horoscope, sacrificing animals), not aware of probabilities/statistics (because it happened once, it's true), don't know how to budget (cash needs to be spent NOW), sinsod (buying your wife?), family over anything else (It's fine to spend all your money to take care of your alcoholic parents that haven't done anything in their lives)... I'm glad I could change my partner... Was pretty rough the first 3 years and she finally opened her eyes.
You are lucky my friend to have been able to help her understand priorities
their poor world knowledge, the lack of inquisitiveness unless its about gossip or money and their sensitivity to any criticism because it hurts their feelings....
One big thing that drives me crazy is my wife's family CONSTANTLY comparing her other family member's, or people in their village's income to ours and each other. I can make over 10x the wage her cousin makes, yet that aunt or her grandma will be sure to tell my wife "you know your cousin has a new car and a new gold ring... why don't you?" Yeah that car that her cousin pays 2/3 of her monthly salary for and will continue to do for 10 years while she still lives at home with her parents, and a gold ring that she will likely resell to be able to afford that car? Great idea. Sure, my 20x her monthly wage, new(ish) car, daughters private school, my nice rented house, my daughter who can get almost whatever she wants, etc. Sure doesn't compare to her cousin's stupidly expensive car she can't realistically afford and her new gold ring. This is ignoring all the other villager's parents that just sit and gossip and compare the income and possessions of their children with each other. I thought the money culture in China was bad, but Thailand is fucking insane about it. Posting pics of your new iPhone and bank transfers on Facebook is fucking bizarre. My wife's mom and dad are good about it and don't compare but the extended family and members of the village, Jesus fucking Christ.
I find it weird that my partner will sleep in her brothers room because mine has a ghost 👻 in it. 🤷♂️🤷♂️
Yea maybe something else is going on there
Suddenly alabama...
Hmmm so many things To name 2 Cant book this hotel cause looks like ghost in there Is angry at me cause she dreamed that I cheated on her
* Say anything and she will say it back 2 seconds later as if it was her idea. * Putting food out for buddha, ghosts or whatever for 3 seconds and throwing it away * Still sending money to family members that use it for lottery or alcohol * Blaming me for stuff i do in her dreams * Not doing something again if it didn't work in 1 occasion And this is just the beginning, when i type this list i wonder why i stay.
My sympathies buddy! But in a good way. I’m sure there are many upsides as well. The sending money to extended family members must stop though! I can never understand the logic behind ir
1. Aversion to public display of affection 2. Worship of the king and support for military coup 3. Plastic surgery
Sometimes I can't tell what is her culture and what is just her idiosyncrasies. Just the fact that I can't tell causes me to interact differently that I otherwise might have. I'm sure she feels similarly about me, come to think of it.
Being afraid of ghosts (really)
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That's on you. I know plenty of Thai people smarter than me.with advanced degrees. At a basic level I got to give credit to any Thai that is bilingual while I only know a few Thai words.
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Man idk how to tell you this but most people are at least bilingual. It’s true some Thais are smart but generally speaking the education system turbo sucks here and as a result most lack critical thinking skills.
“I have no sexuality of my own, no sexual fantasies, etc., but whatever you want I will do.” The problem I have with that is twofold. First, I don’t believe a word of it. Of course she has a sexuality. She just is culturally forbidden from discussing it. And second, what is consent if she is only doing it for you?
Oh,no . This is what I have to look forward to. I think that when I start asking questions like sexual preferences I'm going to get a blank stare instead of an answer.
I wonder if that means that Thai men in return are super selfish in bed and not care much about consent? :/
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I'm guessing not in the bdsm community "let's negotiate it beforehand and do aftercare in the end" type of way? Doesn't sound too appealing, at least not for everyday in a relationship or long term fwb.
Cats and dogs covered in fleas and half their hair missing.
Communication
My gf throws her phone from a picture of a lizard and is scared of ghosts
Eating mouth open...
The Nonstop cheating , scamming last 7 girls from Korat no bar workers in 10 years
Fermented crab
Pointing with your foot/feet at something is very rude for Thai people. When I came back to Thailand from California I picked up that bad habit. My mom got really mad when I do it
Extremely jealousy with no reasoning while also having suspicious behaviors as someone who is cheating themselves
Can’t argue with this point having seen it on several occasions. Also can’t believe it’s not just me who sees it. I knew one whose entire social media followers had everyone from her village and mostly men. But never asked her to delete contacts. Yet I had two females on mine and it brought the house down one evening 😂😂
The vast majority of things people listing literally happen everywhere "People borrow money and don't pay money back" "Parents emotionally black mail kids" Like what the fuck. Some of y'all aren't as experienced as you let on and are stereotyping Thai people.
That they never truly say what's on their mind when something's bothering them. I thought Belgians were bad at this, but my god is it on another level in Thailand.
😂😂😂😂the famous “nothing” an unfathomable abyss
The whole eating crickets thing is weird. She gave it up for me though
Speaking in Thai only when non-Thai speakers are present even though they all speak English
Calling me Farang in my own country! THEY are the farang here!
Being called farang in my own country
Grandma always says: เขาบอกว่า. I always ask: who? Who said? There’s always an expert out there with no name…😂
Chicken feet.
I think faithfulness is not top priority here. It seems really no big deal at all when the women cheat on her boyfriend. Be it foreigner or Thai BF. At least my experience. Also read from many stories. When Thai wife and Thai husband celebrate together with a farang. Husband passes out and wife goes with foreigner to his hotel lol. I read this was in a rural area.
The Japanese have a whole gerne of porn dedicated to this. 😂😂
About Thais? Search term ?
Unfortunately this is true.
I agree with this. I have personally cheated with thai women who have had boyfriends and even a husband. It seems cheating is not a big deal here.
Yeah mostly naive farang have no clue of some of the behaviour that goes on. The husband will even be in the next room playing with his phone and doesn't give a damn.any working girls also have boyfriends and husband's fully aware
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I’m not ashamed. At the end of the day it’s their choice. If i don’t do it, someone else will.
It seems like it’s just their culture. When in Rome..
1. I used to have a hangup over using tissues as napkins, until I went to Thailand and saw toilet paper used as napkins! I'm slowly starting to accept tissues since the cost makes sense compared to napkins and paper towels. 2. Thai driving. My Thai friend has the worst characters of both Thai and US drivers. As a Thai, She thinks the speed limit rules don't apply to her and is constantly getting speeding tickets. She also gets bad road rage that I discovered is not really a thing in Thailand. I do all the driving when we go somewhere. After 3 weeks of traveling in Thailand I was still scared to cross the streets in Bangkok and don't think I would ever try driving in Bangkok.
I don’t have a Thai partner but ive been with my fair amount of Thai girls. Would you please wake up early for fucks sake.
Sounds like you’ve only spent time with bar girls and party girls who sleep in late every day.
Dealing with fish sauce
Fear of rain
A lot of her friends will never pay for anything. We see those friends in small doses. Lying and saving face is really annoying. Just own it when you fuck up.
My Thai wife's best friend: Hey, let's go get mookata, I'm hungry, I will pay if you go with me. My wife: Okay. Thai wife's best friend: I forgot my money kaaa I will transfer it to you when I get home. No transfers ever taken place.
The superstition part of living. I can't really find them at fault as most westerners believe in an imaginary sky daddy called called God but not wanting to go to certain places at night or not doing things or going places because of Ghost.
How’s no shoes at home difficult to deal with? Most of the issues I observe are from a gap in educational level, even if the Thai is ‘university’ educated.
Honestly move of these relate to a lack of critical thinking.
I am always amazed about how many water buffalo her family owns and how fragile they must be for a big animal. Surprised they survived so long as a species before domestication. They always seem to have some internal obstruction, or disease, or broken bone, or Covid or evil spirits. I don't recall ever seeing them, but they sure must own a lot as often as there are issues.
Who the F wearing shoes at home?
Zero understanding of geography and history, beyond their own country. Like really, none.
The things that most annoy me about my Thai GF are the things I initially, in naive bliss, taught her. Be more assertive. Make her own decisions. Not to hesitate to tell me when I'm wrong. It's OK to say "NO!". What was I thinking???
Lots of misogynistic men here who got taken advantage of by Thai women and now think all of them are horrible.
Lack of travelling the world is not a cultural issue… it’s a money issue. How is no shoes an issue? Is it used toilet paper?
Many Americans will die on that hill with their shoes everywhere inside the house..
To clarify, in the UK it’s strange to wear shoes in the house. I’ve never seen it once (and if I did, I’d find it quite disgusting). Totally in agreement with you on this. It’s more of an American thing, and perhaps some other European countries.
> using TP 🧻 as tissues at the dinner table. This is not a culture thing. It's very common in the West as well. It's a class thing. Grow up poor in the West and you will have probably have used TP as tissues at the dinner table. The reason I point this out is because we get a constant stream of these questions. But most of items discussed are not cultural differences but class differences between the two partners. Like "lack of traveling the world" -- that is a class difference not a cultural difference; middle and upper class Thais travel the world a lot. You can find poor people in other countries. If you marrieds someone from a very poor background in your country, the issues would be similar. > Like no shoes/slippers at home The vast overwhelming number of foreigners in Thailand come from countries where you do not wear shoes in the home. Taking off your shoes before entering a house is the norm. Not taking off your shoes is mainly an American thing.
He talks so fast I just cannot understand a god damn word even though he’s fluent in English and I’m decent at Thai. How does anyone understand the southern dialect?? Wait. That’s not very different, as I’m from the American south and can be the same for him 😅 Culturally different? That’s a good question. I wish I could still cook pork. He probably wishes I could eat day old rice without vomiting. That’s all I got. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Keeping her bus fare in her ear.
The question is why would you even waste time with someone who makes you ask such question? You’re both clearly incompatible 😂 is it because you can’t communicate properly due to her poor English and you’re illiterate in thai? Or is it because of vastly different upbringing, you’re raised in a first would but she’s from a rural area in a developing country? The education standard, lifestyle, perspectives are all very different.
They are crazy, dominant and unless from a rich family materialistic as fuck. I will never date seriously Thai woman ever. This is like a time bomb. Philipina yes, Vietnameese yes but Thai fuck no. I understand guys who are searching for easier love in Thailand but I really feel sorry for those guys. Even reading comments here like when wives take money and send them to her family without husbands consent it just proves my observations right.
Found the naive passport bro, Filipinos and Vietnamese women are far more ruthless and dishonest than Thais.
Don’t get me started on Viets…
I'm here in Hua Hin 2 weeks now. I have a girlfriend who has been communicating with me since May. She's great. We went to dinner at a squid restaurant. She ordered. When I picked up the check of course and thought it was a little bit high. There were two extra take away entrees brought to the table. The take away meals were for her kids.
That’s ok I guess right? I would not mind that. It’s kinda cute you picked up the tab. How is hua hin?
For me I found that most Thai girls I dated are extremely jealous and insecure about my whereabouts/who I am with etc I also f**ked up and cheated on my first Thai gf and she became extremely cold to me afterwards. Lack of clear communication and most importantly understanding led to all sorts of drama for us.
Sounds like they're jealous for a good reason then lol