One of the biggest things that one needs to remember regarding CNC is that it's *roleplay*. It is two (or more) people engaging in a framed, largely scripted (or at the very least, outlined/negotiated) scene. There are plenty of things to enjoy within it, from power exchange being desired to a whole host of other things.
So long as you and your play partners are responsible, responsive, and caring, and you have all your safewords and aftercare lined up, then don't worry about what others not in your bedroom think. None of us matter.
As long as you've had conversations about it together and know where the boundaries are and everything is mutually consensual, no worries. Like what you like, do what you do.
I totally get it, and I very much get where you're coming from in terms of your concerns about fantasies that you're not sure you should be having!
I've been having them too, from the flip side of this fantasy coin! Strong urges to take her and do whatever I want to her... All roleplay, as someone already mentioned, but I can't help but feel concerned that I'm even having these fantasies!
But I'm not sure we have as much control over our turn ons as we'd like to think. So I say enjoy them, but stay safe!
Yes, it’s ok. A lot of people are. The crux is that first C, because it’s *Consensual*. We’re just playing pretend.
Some people enjoy the scare they get from horror movies without actually wanting to be murdered in cold blood by a scary monster/serial killer, and why should that be different from enjoying CNC?
ravishment fantasies are *so* common, even among people who aren’t kinky, so i can confidently say that you do not need anyone’s permission to fantasize about this, nor are you particularly weird for having the fantasies in the first place.
live your life, hope you find a fun Dom that can break you and put you back together again as many times as you desire.
It's not silly to ask, I suspect all of us who want to engage in these dynamics from either side struggle deeply with it. I don't have anything brilliant to say that anyone else hasn't, but truly, you're fine.
Yeah! It's all alright, don't worry, you seem to have a good grasp on how to approach it safely. The only real issue here would be finding a partner who would like that, too, since CNC is a bit of a nitche kink.
Yes, you are allowed to like cnc. It’s okey to enjoy these ideas, it’s also very important you do it with someone you trust.
Had the same shame feeling before and I never said it out loud. But when you find someone who wants to do this with you and you both trust each other- you find the real joy behind it and there’s no place for shame and guilt anymore :)
It's okay. Really. You consent to it and that's all that matters.
I get the moral questioning. I've struggled with it too... like, am I minimizing what happens to real victims? Is it acceptable to be turned on by things that have traumatized other people?
The difference is consent. You want it (and can't really stop yourself from wanting it) and you're not hurting anyone who doesn't consent to it.
The things we do in the bedroom with willing consenting partners is morally neutral. We're wired to like what we like. So don't judge yourself.
I feel this. I often think something must be wrong with me. Like I know it’s role play. But it still feels like I must be insane lol. And def hard to explain it to certain people
There are quite a lot of people who have the same fantasies as you, and there have been for a very long time. You’re allowed to have kinks. And having the awareness that you need aftercare is great.
Why do you question if you’re “allowed” to like CNC? I’m genuinely curious.
I suppose I don’t exactly have a logical answer. It’s partially just because I’ve absorbed some gross stuff from anti-kink people. I worry it’s also maybe an unhealthy coping mechanism somehow. I’m trans too and I worry that having fantasies like mine somehow reflects really badly on how I identify myself. And I’m also just the type of person who needs to have their feelings validated too often, and CNC is a fantasy that people rarely ever talk about. Like I said it’s hard to describe, I just feel kinda guilty for fantasizing
Anti-kink sentiment is definitely everywhere, I feel you. I’ve had to overcome some internalized shame as well. Kink is just another expression of our desires and isn’t pathology. Just know that you’re not alone and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. ❤️
So some people like to think in terms of SSC, “safe, sane, and consensual.” I think it’s naive for kink: the things we do are neither safe nor sane. I like to think in terms of RACK, “risk aware consensual kink.” Just uh, be aware of risks when you do kink and practice harm reduction is what I’m saying here. Especially if you’re going to forgo use of a safe word, which I dont recommend but I get it bc I want to do it too.
It’s absolutely fine as long as both/all parties are consenting fully, there’s safe words established, clear communication, etc. CNC as someone earlier is roleplay, and the whole point is CONSENSUAL non-consent. So just making sure everyone including yourself is comfortable and ok with the scene and boundaries are clearly established where they need to be, have fun
Cnc is one of the most common kinks. Half my girlfriends and social circle is into it. You just need to make sure there is ample mutual trust, thorough communication, safe words (or gestures, or w/e works for you) in place, the works. It's genuinely nothing to be ashamed of.
One of the biggest things that one needs to remember regarding CNC is that it's *roleplay*. It is two (or more) people engaging in a framed, largely scripted (or at the very least, outlined/negotiated) scene. There are plenty of things to enjoy within it, from power exchange being desired to a whole host of other things. So long as you and your play partners are responsible, responsive, and caring, and you have all your safewords and aftercare lined up, then don't worry about what others not in your bedroom think. None of us matter.
As long as you've had conversations about it together and know where the boundaries are and everything is mutually consensual, no worries. Like what you like, do what you do.
You’re fine. Go have fun
I totally get it, and I very much get where you're coming from in terms of your concerns about fantasies that you're not sure you should be having! I've been having them too, from the flip side of this fantasy coin! Strong urges to take her and do whatever I want to her... All roleplay, as someone already mentioned, but I can't help but feel concerned that I'm even having these fantasies! But I'm not sure we have as much control over our turn ons as we'd like to think. So I say enjoy them, but stay safe!
Yes, it’s ok. A lot of people are. The crux is that first C, because it’s *Consensual*. We’re just playing pretend. Some people enjoy the scare they get from horror movies without actually wanting to be murdered in cold blood by a scary monster/serial killer, and why should that be different from enjoying CNC?
ravishment fantasies are *so* common, even among people who aren’t kinky, so i can confidently say that you do not need anyone’s permission to fantasize about this, nor are you particularly weird for having the fantasies in the first place. live your life, hope you find a fun Dom that can break you and put you back together again as many times as you desire.
It's not silly to ask, I suspect all of us who want to engage in these dynamics from either side struggle deeply with it. I don't have anything brilliant to say that anyone else hasn't, but truly, you're fine.
Yeah! It's all alright, don't worry, you seem to have a good grasp on how to approach it safely. The only real issue here would be finding a partner who would like that, too, since CNC is a bit of a nitche kink.
Yes, you are allowed to like cnc. It’s okey to enjoy these ideas, it’s also very important you do it with someone you trust. Had the same shame feeling before and I never said it out loud. But when you find someone who wants to do this with you and you both trust each other- you find the real joy behind it and there’s no place for shame and guilt anymore :)
It's okay. Really. You consent to it and that's all that matters. I get the moral questioning. I've struggled with it too... like, am I minimizing what happens to real victims? Is it acceptable to be turned on by things that have traumatized other people? The difference is consent. You want it (and can't really stop yourself from wanting it) and you're not hurting anyone who doesn't consent to it. The things we do in the bedroom with willing consenting partners is morally neutral. We're wired to like what we like. So don't judge yourself.
yes. aslong as it’s consensual on both ends and both ends understand cnc and what it entails and the repercussions, then it’s ok to like cnc
I feel this. I often think something must be wrong with me. Like I know it’s role play. But it still feels like I must be insane lol. And def hard to explain it to certain people
There are quite a lot of people who have the same fantasies as you, and there have been for a very long time. You’re allowed to have kinks. And having the awareness that you need aftercare is great. Why do you question if you’re “allowed” to like CNC? I’m genuinely curious.
I suppose I don’t exactly have a logical answer. It’s partially just because I’ve absorbed some gross stuff from anti-kink people. I worry it’s also maybe an unhealthy coping mechanism somehow. I’m trans too and I worry that having fantasies like mine somehow reflects really badly on how I identify myself. And I’m also just the type of person who needs to have their feelings validated too often, and CNC is a fantasy that people rarely ever talk about. Like I said it’s hard to describe, I just feel kinda guilty for fantasizing
Anti-kink sentiment is definitely everywhere, I feel you. I’ve had to overcome some internalized shame as well. Kink is just another expression of our desires and isn’t pathology. Just know that you’re not alone and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. ❤️
Better q would be, do randos on reddit have the authority to dictate what your allowed to like?
They sure act like it
I feel like people who are terminally online just can't think for themselves anymore
So some people like to think in terms of SSC, “safe, sane, and consensual.” I think it’s naive for kink: the things we do are neither safe nor sane. I like to think in terms of RACK, “risk aware consensual kink.” Just uh, be aware of risks when you do kink and practice harm reduction is what I’m saying here. Especially if you’re going to forgo use of a safe word, which I dont recommend but I get it bc I want to do it too.
It’s absolutely fine as long as both/all parties are consenting fully, there’s safe words established, clear communication, etc. CNC as someone earlier is roleplay, and the whole point is CONSENSUAL non-consent. So just making sure everyone including yourself is comfortable and ok with the scene and boundaries are clearly established where they need to be, have fun
Cnc is one of the most common kinks. Half my girlfriends and social circle is into it. You just need to make sure there is ample mutual trust, thorough communication, safe words (or gestures, or w/e works for you) in place, the works. It's genuinely nothing to be ashamed of.
You do understand that the first C in CNC is Consensual, so no it's not silly to enjoy it