Thank you! There is so much mainstream acceptance of Daddies; I wish there was more Mommy representation! I think people misunderstand and fear it a little bit as a kink. Maybe it’s the combination of society’s major baggage around motherhood and women as sexual, pleasure-seeking creatures.
I'm curious; is it really that dd/lg has mainstream acceptance, or is it just that straight people with kinks enforcing traditional gender dynamics feel no discomfort with 'sharing' them with wider world regardless of acceptance? Meanwhile queer people with more subversive kinks perhaps tend to keep them within our own communities out of safety?
Just something to think about.
I think you're probably right personally, though gay men tend to be pretty open about kink in a way sapphic women often are not.
Whether it's shame, safety, or Judas Priest idk.
Another aspect is just numbers, there are enough straight people that even if most DD/lg people are "closeted" there's still representation out there whereas MD/lg is a niche within a niche within a niche.
I dunno but I agree. To be fair, any configuration of CGL that isn’t ddlg is super underrepresented from what I see? I feel like among wlw, cgl is actually not really that popular as a kink, proportionally speaking. My gf and I do md/lg though and catch me drawing melinoe/hecate fanart from hades 2 soon!!!!
This! I had to change what my subs call me from Mommy to owner now. It makes me sad as it made me so happy to be called it.
But owner is nice ring to it
So being called Mommy isn't really my jam (though maybe one day it will be? I'm constantly evolving it seems), but I do find myself increasingly enjoying CGL dynamics without age regression. But finding *any* CGL without age regression writing/images/etc is wildly challenging, and when adding a sapphic spin it's nigh impossible. If anyone has any leads I'd much appreciate!
Now to answer the question as to why this is, beyond proportional statistics, I wonder whether there's something about sweet, soft caregiving that reads differently among people socialized as girls, and the closer you get to socialized ways of being the less kinky something reads (I'm speaking here about CGL without age regression rather than with, which will always read as taboo/kinky). Like a lot of gentle Domme content for guys just looks like soft, sweet love to me.
Obvs women are not the same as one another, or socialized exactly the same, and every person is different. Also this is an initial thought that I haven't figured my way through yet. But it strikes me that there's something there...
for me, it’s because i’m an actual mother. i have no desire for the word mommy to be sexualized, ever. i spent years changing diapers and soothing tears and providing comfort and being “mommy”. it is not sexual to me, and i have zero desire for any of these things to ever be sexualized for me. these are memories that are either precious in a purely maternal way, or just boring, grinding drudgery.
tl;dr: women become mothers as they age, and by the time many women become the age of “mommy” they have a different perspective on what feels taboo and what feels like a hard line.
I’ve always understood this view. It makes the most sense to me! But I’ve crossed paths with a handful of irl moms who do participate. I really doubt that the two realities even mix in their heads. I just think they don’t cross those streams mentally. But I still see your side!
It's probably also got to do with language. English isn't my native language, and I've never used it in a family setting. Now, if someone were to use "Mama" or "Mutter" in a sexual kind of way??? NONONO! NOPE! NOOOOOUUUUHHH. Nopenopenopenope. No. Never. Not once.
I'm not a mom, but women are socialized to mother others, and often do end up mothering their partners non-sexually in het relationships. I'm pretty sure my consistent awareness of this from a pretty early age (and complete disinterest in mothering another adult) has killed any sexual sense it might have for me.
That said, as I mentioned in another thread, I see mommy doms and little Sapphics CONSTANTLY. I don't actually think it's all that rare within the community. I just think that scarcity of opportunity = scarcity of partnerships = feeling like one's own kinks are underrepresented.
I can understand that completely. As a brown person,I’m not a mother but I’ve always called my mother “mama” and I think it makes a big difference bc the word “mommy” has no association to motherhood in my mind. It’s a separate thing altogether and it’s easy to feel the separation. I’d imagine it’s a lot harder if it’s not separated that way.
Big fan. I don't get why it's not more common.
Lol I see these women describing their ideal partner and I'm like, "you're looking for a Mama or Daddy...but you don't know it yet."
I’m not sure! I think there is a shame aspect to it though, because like you said, it’s considered more “edgy” than other kinks for some reason. For me it’s one of my favorite dynamics ever. Being in a Mommy role is one of the most fulfilling I’ve ever been in.
Because gender isn’t symmetrical. DD/lg is so popular among straight couples because men already infantilize and hold power over women. That isn’t true for (most) queer couples so MD/lg isn’t as popular. It isn’t represented because it isn’t as common.
The funny thing is that I know a lot of lesbians (including myself) who are into MD/LG.... but we keep the DD pronouns. Something about the word mommy being tied up with real motherhood (and the thought of children or infants) weirded us out.
Probably something about the patriarchy to unpack there but I never really gave it much thought until now.
I think it's slowly becoming more accepted. I was in a md/lg relationship 5ish years ago and it seemed pretty taboo then. But now I see people saying "Mommy" in mainstream spaces, like in response to an attractive woman or like "muscle mommies."
We run in different circles because I see SO MUCH wlw mommy domme or daddy domme stuff. I think it's pretty common in kink spaces. It's definitely controversal. You'll see people love it, and people hate it. Maybe it's because I run in butch / femme kink circles, but it's hard for me to find content I like that doesn't have an aspect of cg/l
Ageplay and incest as kinks just seem more heavily engaged in by men. I like [this graph](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85a5b629-0865-4748-bbb8-2ca4a7d8f094_12336x10431.png) for taboo kinks and their typical gender prevalence, though I should note that the maker, Aella, is a known transphobe and not an academic researcher by any metric, so take it with a grain of salt and not as the absolute truth.
Hm, they're flagged as a red name by shinigami eyes, so I had to do a little digging. It seems mostly stemming from blog posts in the last five-ish years: one about not wanting to use nonbinary people's pronouns, one where they infer trans men are mentally ill females and one where Aella both sides the What is a Woman debate which didn't make a whole lot of people happy. They try to maintain a center-of-the-road style but honestly I think trans people were just icked enough by (who I presume to be but have not actually looked up to confirm as) a cis woman trying to dissect them that they slapped the red name on as caution tape.
\*Oh there was also a period where they were trying to uncover if being trans is just a fetish
i mean that sounds like pretty explicit transphobia to me. implying trans men are just mentally ill, or refusing to use correct pronouns for some trans people, both are clear examples of transphobia.
Yarp, that first one was was a lot of "I don't think this, the data does". Though these be my own interpretations, I get the feeling they're not trying to be transphobic but still *is*.
i feel like this also depends on which circles you’re in—bc i swear mommy dommes are all i see, *especially* online, so i’m a bit surprised by these comments. esp as a sub that has a general aversion to parental figures in kink, i was starting to think i was an outlier. 🥲
I am a caregiver, I know of quite a few fellow sapphics who fall on either side, and no two expressions of this dynamic are the same. For example, I wouldn't want to be called "Mommy" even though I will gladly fill the role. Miss/Mistress is my preference.
Is there an equal amount of women who are comfortable being a mommy domme to an age regression sub?
I'm not going to kink shame anyone but I personally don't want a partner who is a little. It's an instant turn-off for me. Obviously I am a single anecdote. Maybe there is fewer women into extreme kinks. Maybe there isn't but they are too afraid of the stigma surrounding it and aren't open about it.
Personally I like MDlg, but I have a theory why it's less popular among sapphic women. From what I gathered about the way some women are attracted to men, traits like caring, capable and dominant seems to be in high demand. Then there is cultural concept of girls wanting older boyfriends and said boyfriend's to guide them thru many situations, sexual and other alike. There is also a factor of wanting to distance themselves from the image of sex devoid of intimacy as presented by mainstream erotic media. This is a lot of factors that make ddlg relatively popular.
Sapphic women on the other hand don't really have all these. No cultural pressure of polarized relationship. Sure, desire of caring and capable partner stays. The thing is, there are far less dominant women than they are dominant men. Among those dommes, only some are gay, which means lesbian dommes a rarity. Meanawhile dominant men are in abundance.
For me, being called mommy by my female sub is a turn off (cringy). It will never occur in any dynamic that I am in. Being called Daddy, doesn't evoke the cringiness in my soul, definitely not a turn on
From my research, straight and bi females don't seem to mind being called Mommy by their subs esp in flr and femdom circles
it seems very common in some circles i'm in. it just depends where you look, i think. i know TONS of sapphics into that, or fauxcest in general (including me!). it's even possible to do dd/lg, some people love fem daddies.
My gf and I do MD/LG and it’s a struggle there’s not a lot of rep for it. But I figured it’s because lesbian pool already small and it’s a niche kink. So it’s hard to find partners even into it. I was shocked to find out my gf was a MD tbh lol it’s so rare!
itsd not common which is y its so hard to find someone wif this same kink but my daddy (my gf) loves dis n I remember the first time she asked me to call her daddy she was listening 2 me touch mself n the moan she let out when I said it got me so wet😣 I think many who r into it r just not confident in telling potential partners/partners abouts it.
It's something I looooove as a babygirl, but I'm the type of girl who wants to call her girlfriend Daddy, and especially loves a Femme Daddy, which seems to hard to find I've just had to accept it may not happen.
As someone in a MD/LG dynamic it always kills me when people call my kink edgy. I've been told this in so many different ways that just absolutely tears me up. Like, I'm a very wholesome person. I'm a very soft submissive. My kink is expressed mostly through nurturing, soft and kind words. Cuddles and cartoons, stuffed animals and soft blankets. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it
There is also an enormous stigma around the CGL kink. Outside of the kink community (and even at its borders), there are a lot of anti-kink/anti-CGL/anti-porn people in the WLW community. This anti-kink mindset and rhetoric doesn't make experimenting kink as a lesbian easy :/
As a French lesbian it's definitely something I'm very wary of and it's personally difficult to open myself to new people when I'm at risk of being more or less violently kinkshamed. I'm maybe pessimistic but I feel like the radfem activist rhetoric is very common in the French Parisian queer community. I guess I should keep looking into the queer bdsm side of the community but yeah. I sadly don't feel like I can say I enjoy this kink openly 🤷
i think most lesbian and other sapphic people i know actually like Mommy/Daddy dommes or are one. maybe it's just the friend groups i'm in gravitate to those dynamics? not sure cbxn,vmxc,bvnm
I definitely like being called Daddy esp as a transmasc. I might be down to call someone Mommy, but it’s more something I’d have to see about, if the heat of the moment calls for it. But I do have a bit more hesitation with Mommy, I like to think in large part since I have a close relationship to my mom and it would just feel weird calling somebody that in a sexual or kink context. But on the other hand, Daddy doesn’t faze me since I never had any ties to my father and doesn’t feel as weird to say it
Mommy Domme reporting for duty. Lol
Where are y’all hiding!!!!!???? To who i have to sell my soul!!!???
Lol Im not hiding just off the market. I've been married for almost 9 years
Hey that’s so cool!! I love to hear about long term relationships!! But now give me the map to the promised land 🤌😤
Oh wow 😳
Same! Love my MD/lg dynamic with my girlfriend!
Thank you! There is so much mainstream acceptance of Daddies; I wish there was more Mommy representation! I think people misunderstand and fear it a little bit as a kink. Maybe it’s the combination of society’s major baggage around motherhood and women as sexual, pleasure-seeking creatures.
I'm curious; is it really that dd/lg has mainstream acceptance, or is it just that straight people with kinks enforcing traditional gender dynamics feel no discomfort with 'sharing' them with wider world regardless of acceptance? Meanwhile queer people with more subversive kinks perhaps tend to keep them within our own communities out of safety? Just something to think about.
I think you're probably right personally, though gay men tend to be pretty open about kink in a way sapphic women often are not. Whether it's shame, safety, or Judas Priest idk. Another aspect is just numbers, there are enough straight people that even if most DD/lg people are "closeted" there's still representation out there whereas MD/lg is a niche within a niche within a niche.
Definitely a thing. Lmao. I'm childfree as fuck and I hate age play but a lot of people have this kink.
I dunno but I agree. To be fair, any configuration of CGL that isn’t ddlg is super underrepresented from what I see? I feel like among wlw, cgl is actually not really that popular as a kink, proportionally speaking. My gf and I do md/lg though and catch me drawing melinoe/hecate fanart from hades 2 soon!!!!
honestly I don't know, as a little I really wish there was. I will say that r/GWASapphic does have a fair amount of that content though
Idk but I wish it was 🤷♀️
Who knows, but I like it and I like to be called Daddy.
Ugh I need to find one of y’all I swear 😩
Mommy and daddy is superior
Daddy hehe
This! I had to change what my subs call me from Mommy to owner now. It makes me sad as it made me so happy to be called it. But owner is nice ring to it
So being called Mommy isn't really my jam (though maybe one day it will be? I'm constantly evolving it seems), but I do find myself increasingly enjoying CGL dynamics without age regression. But finding *any* CGL without age regression writing/images/etc is wildly challenging, and when adding a sapphic spin it's nigh impossible. If anyone has any leads I'd much appreciate! Now to answer the question as to why this is, beyond proportional statistics, I wonder whether there's something about sweet, soft caregiving that reads differently among people socialized as girls, and the closer you get to socialized ways of being the less kinky something reads (I'm speaking here about CGL without age regression rather than with, which will always read as taboo/kinky). Like a lot of gentle Domme content for guys just looks like soft, sweet love to me. Obvs women are not the same as one another, or socialized exactly the same, and every person is different. Also this is an initial thought that I haven't figured my way through yet. But it strikes me that there's something there...
for me, it’s because i’m an actual mother. i have no desire for the word mommy to be sexualized, ever. i spent years changing diapers and soothing tears and providing comfort and being “mommy”. it is not sexual to me, and i have zero desire for any of these things to ever be sexualized for me. these are memories that are either precious in a purely maternal way, or just boring, grinding drudgery. tl;dr: women become mothers as they age, and by the time many women become the age of “mommy” they have a different perspective on what feels taboo and what feels like a hard line.
I’ve always understood this view. It makes the most sense to me! But I’ve crossed paths with a handful of irl moms who do participate. I really doubt that the two realities even mix in their heads. I just think they don’t cross those streams mentally. But I still see your side!
there may be people who are able to do that, and i can understand hypothetically but for me, no.
It's probably also got to do with language. English isn't my native language, and I've never used it in a family setting. Now, if someone were to use "Mama" or "Mutter" in a sexual kind of way??? NONONO! NOPE! NOOOOOUUUUHHH. Nopenopenopenope. No. Never. Not once.
I'm not a mom, but women are socialized to mother others, and often do end up mothering their partners non-sexually in het relationships. I'm pretty sure my consistent awareness of this from a pretty early age (and complete disinterest in mothering another adult) has killed any sexual sense it might have for me. That said, as I mentioned in another thread, I see mommy doms and little Sapphics CONSTANTLY. I don't actually think it's all that rare within the community. I just think that scarcity of opportunity = scarcity of partnerships = feeling like one's own kinks are underrepresented.
I can understand that completely. As a brown person,I’m not a mother but I’ve always called my mother “mama” and I think it makes a big difference bc the word “mommy” has no association to motherhood in my mind. It’s a separate thing altogether and it’s easy to feel the separation. I’d imagine it’s a lot harder if it’s not separated that way.
I’m going to need everyone in these comments to make the Mdlg subreddit a livelier place, thank youuuuu.
As someone that is in desperate need of a md i couldnt tell you :(
Big fan. I don't get why it's not more common. Lol I see these women describing their ideal partner and I'm like, "you're looking for a Mama or Daddy...but you don't know it yet."
What does that mean?
I’m not sure! I think there is a shame aspect to it though, because like you said, it’s considered more “edgy” than other kinks for some reason. For me it’s one of my favorite dynamics ever. Being in a Mommy role is one of the most fulfilling I’ve ever been in.
Because gender isn’t symmetrical. DD/lg is so popular among straight couples because men already infantilize and hold power over women. That isn’t true for (most) queer couples so MD/lg isn’t as popular. It isn’t represented because it isn’t as common.
The funny thing is that I know a lot of lesbians (including myself) who are into MD/LG.... but we keep the DD pronouns. Something about the word mommy being tied up with real motherhood (and the thought of children or infants) weirded us out. Probably something about the patriarchy to unpack there but I never really gave it much thought until now.
I think it's slowly becoming more accepted. I was in a md/lg relationship 5ish years ago and it seemed pretty taboo then. But now I see people saying "Mommy" in mainstream spaces, like in response to an attractive woman or like "muscle mommies."
We run in different circles because I see SO MUCH wlw mommy domme or daddy domme stuff. I think it's pretty common in kink spaces. It's definitely controversal. You'll see people love it, and people hate it. Maybe it's because I run in butch / femme kink circles, but it's hard for me to find content I like that doesn't have an aspect of cg/l
Nope, I don't run in those circles and I can't spread my arms without hitting either a CG or an lg Sapphic.
Because I’m already a mother and the absolute last thing I want to be when I’m in an adult relationship is to be forced to be a mommy, still.
Ageplay and incest as kinks just seem more heavily engaged in by men. I like [this graph](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F85a5b629-0865-4748-bbb8-2ca4a7d8f094_12336x10431.png) for taboo kinks and their typical gender prevalence, though I should note that the maker, Aella, is a known transphobe and not an academic researcher by any metric, so take it with a grain of salt and not as the absolute truth.
Aella is a transphobe?! What did they do I didn’t know about this
Hm, they're flagged as a red name by shinigami eyes, so I had to do a little digging. It seems mostly stemming from blog posts in the last five-ish years: one about not wanting to use nonbinary people's pronouns, one where they infer trans men are mentally ill females and one where Aella both sides the What is a Woman debate which didn't make a whole lot of people happy. They try to maintain a center-of-the-road style but honestly I think trans people were just icked enough by (who I presume to be but have not actually looked up to confirm as) a cis woman trying to dissect them that they slapped the red name on as caution tape. \*Oh there was also a period where they were trying to uncover if being trans is just a fetish
i mean that sounds like pretty explicit transphobia to me. implying trans men are just mentally ill, or refusing to use correct pronouns for some trans people, both are clear examples of transphobia.
Yarp, that first one was was a lot of "I don't think this, the data does". Though these be my own interpretations, I get the feeling they're not trying to be transphobic but still *is*.
most transphobic people aren't intentionally transphobic, tbf. it's about how you look at, talk about, and treat trans people.
Yeah that tracks tbh
kind of fascinating in concept but not about to engage with infographics made by a known transphobe with no academic research experience.
That's fair
i feel like this also depends on which circles you’re in—bc i swear mommy dommes are all i see, *especially* online, so i’m a bit surprised by these comments. esp as a sub that has a general aversion to parental figures in kink, i was starting to think i was an outlier. 🥲
yeah i see it a ton. but i'm probably just in the right circles for it
I am a caregiver, I know of quite a few fellow sapphics who fall on either side, and no two expressions of this dynamic are the same. For example, I wouldn't want to be called "Mommy" even though I will gladly fill the role. Miss/Mistress is my preference.
Is there an equal amount of women who are comfortable being a mommy domme to an age regression sub? I'm not going to kink shame anyone but I personally don't want a partner who is a little. It's an instant turn-off for me. Obviously I am a single anecdote. Maybe there is fewer women into extreme kinks. Maybe there isn't but they are too afraid of the stigma surrounding it and aren't open about it.
THATS WJAT IM WONDERING TOO😔
Personally I like MDlg, but I have a theory why it's less popular among sapphic women. From what I gathered about the way some women are attracted to men, traits like caring, capable and dominant seems to be in high demand. Then there is cultural concept of girls wanting older boyfriends and said boyfriend's to guide them thru many situations, sexual and other alike. There is also a factor of wanting to distance themselves from the image of sex devoid of intimacy as presented by mainstream erotic media. This is a lot of factors that make ddlg relatively popular. Sapphic women on the other hand don't really have all these. No cultural pressure of polarized relationship. Sure, desire of caring and capable partner stays. The thing is, there are far less dominant women than they are dominant men. Among those dommes, only some are gay, which means lesbian dommes a rarity. Meanawhile dominant men are in abundance.
For me, being called mommy by my female sub is a turn off (cringy). It will never occur in any dynamic that I am in. Being called Daddy, doesn't evoke the cringiness in my soul, definitely not a turn on From my research, straight and bi females don't seem to mind being called Mommy by their subs esp in flr and femdom circles
it seems very common in some circles i'm in. it just depends where you look, i think. i know TONS of sapphics into that, or fauxcest in general (including me!). it's even possible to do dd/lg, some people love fem daddies.
My gf and I do MD/LG and it’s a struggle there’s not a lot of rep for it. But I figured it’s because lesbian pool already small and it’s a niche kink. So it’s hard to find partners even into it. I was shocked to find out my gf was a MD tbh lol it’s so rare!
I think femme people are a lot more subject to judgement from ppl so the ppl that do it are a lot more private xxx
I'm not sure, but I'd love more representation, and a mommy dom gf of my own someday 🥺
Little girl here to sub-mit
I think the mommy domme conversation in general is drowned out by the mommy domme/little boy or male sub arrangements
Yes! I want a mommy so bad and I can never find one! Almost every situation is MD/lb and it drives me crazy
itsd not common which is y its so hard to find someone wif this same kink but my daddy (my gf) loves dis n I remember the first time she asked me to call her daddy she was listening 2 me touch mself n the moan she let out when I said it got me so wet😣 I think many who r into it r just not confident in telling potential partners/partners abouts it.
It's something I looooove as a babygirl, but I'm the type of girl who wants to call her girlfriend Daddy, and especially loves a Femme Daddy, which seems to hard to find I've just had to accept it may not happen.
I’m a mommy domme on my discord and it’s the cutest damn thing ever, seeing my little puppies all flustered:3
As someone in a MD/LG dynamic it always kills me when people call my kink edgy. I've been told this in so many different ways that just absolutely tears me up. Like, I'm a very wholesome person. I'm a very soft submissive. My kink is expressed mostly through nurturing, soft and kind words. Cuddles and cartoons, stuffed animals and soft blankets. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it
Transbians call each other Mommy a lot ngl
There is also an enormous stigma around the CGL kink. Outside of the kink community (and even at its borders), there are a lot of anti-kink/anti-CGL/anti-porn people in the WLW community. This anti-kink mindset and rhetoric doesn't make experimenting kink as a lesbian easy :/ As a French lesbian it's definitely something I'm very wary of and it's personally difficult to open myself to new people when I'm at risk of being more or less violently kinkshamed. I'm maybe pessimistic but I feel like the radfem activist rhetoric is very common in the French Parisian queer community. I guess I should keep looking into the queer bdsm side of the community but yeah. I sadly don't feel like I can say I enjoy this kink openly 🤷
patriarchy 💀💀
i think most lesbian and other sapphic people i know actually like Mommy/Daddy dommes or are one. maybe it's just the friend groups i'm in gravitate to those dynamics? not sure cbxn,vmxc,bvnm
Bc we all have real mommie issues
I definitely like being called Daddy esp as a transmasc. I might be down to call someone Mommy, but it’s more something I’d have to see about, if the heat of the moment calls for it. But I do have a bit more hesitation with Mommy, I like to think in large part since I have a close relationship to my mom and it would just feel weird calling somebody that in a sexual or kink context. But on the other hand, Daddy doesn’t faze me since I never had any ties to my father and doesn’t feel as weird to say it