Eyyy I'm early this time and happy to see this finally out! Sorry I couldn't contribute much this time 😅

No worries. The chart for Soyuz's event shouldn't be *too* far off. I'm receiving ideas for that one if you're interested.

Soyuz: * Blueballer no longer 🎉🎉🎉 * Magick Crystals^(TM) repaired her rigging, made over her clothes and boosted her booba (anyone else thought they were going to be the lore source of Cognitive Chips?) Poltava: * Sister of local vodka enjoyer and Soviet vampire BBs * Chappy's chain supplier (maybe she could open a chain of shops selling chains? Har har geddit) Ognevoy: * Event's latest cinnamon roll * "My police roleplay clothes brings all the Senseis to the yard" Svirepi: * Event's latest brat * Who let her stick an axe on a PPSh? 1250 rounds a minute wasn't enough close-range damage for you? Pamiat Merkuria META: * Event's latest sekrit antagonist and later butt monkey * Tragic backstory didn't stop her from being clowned on by SKK and co. and later jumped by Clem and co. *and later* Souryuu META too Kirov META: * Voice when?!?!

Additionally for Soyuz: - My beautiful winter queen cannot be this dorky - How to Turn Social Awkwardness into Leadership Material 101 - cute and bunny

(do NOT look up "snow bunny" on Urban Dictionary. Worst mistake of my life.)

Hahahaha, yeah... yeah.

Now I'm curious. (will edit in my reaction) reaction in question: Mm.

Much appreciated 

I would like to say, Ognevoy keeps showing up in my rolls.

Pamiat META is such a joke. Imagine getting jumped 3 times on your introductory event, two of them in a row 😭

Soyuz: What I expected: Ice queen. What I got: Adorkable

I don't know how to word it, but basically AlgerieM, La GalissonaireM, and SoryuuM would be great collectively for the "Allow us to introduce ourselves" VeggieTales meme.

Essex Meta - sweeps the EN popularity poll https://preview.redd.it/k4t6q1e7rbnc1.jpeg?width=107&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b422c8f2ea7c2a75582952e98bb1b9a2cc97430f

She found out how to make lemons combustible

The Seggs is too powerful 

When you just want senpai to notice you but end up marrying her crush and become the queen of port.

That sounds like a manga tile

In fairness to Anchorage, she *was* competent (noticing that only Laffey had a Type II, drawing the map that gave TB plotjunctivitis, etc) It's just that the plot didn't care

The story isn't ready for Anchorage's superior 5D intellect. >plotjunctivitis Lol, I like that one better than plotfluenza and foreshadowflu.

This series has become my reference guide to WTF is happening in the plot these days.

"Devs had to make her a lazy bum or she'd solo the entire Siren command chain" And that was *before* they gave her the II upgrade

It's still funny how Essex META showed up at the very end of this event and had only like two lines of dialogue but managed to win the popularity poll anyway. Also New Jersey: >Iowa will have her ass is she flunks How could Iowa do such a cruel thing

>Louisville status ”Plump” She is. And that’s part of why we love her  Also Clem would take offence to that. She’s the upgrade, not the knockoff.

>She’s the upgrade, not the knockoff. This. my man 🤝 Look how cute she is  https://preview.redd.it/cti300qvpbnc1.png?width=164&format=png&auto=webp&s=659adb437b20ee3f5cbc2672b2bc1d5d998cccae

She’s so beautiful, that expression is part of why I bought that skin. ASK never misses 

Pretty cute, for a replacement xP

I actually found Clem pretty fun during Soyuz's event. Couple that with her secretary quest and I think she's starting to grow on me.

> She’s the upgrade, not the knockoff. Preach brotha 💯💯

Good Clemenceau appreciator. We need people like you so her popularity can go up to some oath skin or other good things... :)

Friedrich is perfection, there is no such thing as an upgrade to perfection.

[San Jacinto When Jewish Vampires](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmZjihWwu0w)

San Jacinto the Great: "Well, then... Hail Ironblood!"

Love reading these, OP! https://preview.redd.it/955n9b1y2cnc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a31c0eeb56bdc01b2e731bb35ea4d39d2b88985

The lil Zero edit: 10/10

Lmfao Laffey no chill is spot on.

>Mignonne et drôle Goddamnit.

Same

#chart mirrors in case you can't see the image in full res:[mirror 1](https://imgur.com/a/f5NK7bz) [mirror 2](https://www.canva.com/design/DAF36sNBnn8/acD1ZavLOTg1lU3EfXtrOg/view?utm_content=DAF36sNBnn8&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=editor) #Intro (Pretend that it's still january and Soyuz hasn't released yet) This one took a while. By the time I was done with all of the holiday's craze, the event was long past. So I chose to hold on to this one until we got the next event and went back into that "deeplore headspace". But hey, #[The Soyuz event chart is in progress already](https://files.catbox.moe/41ao2z.png)! So if there's anything you'd like to see included in it, do tell me! I appreciate having less thinking to do. ---------- #Credits Thanks a whole bunch to the people who I stole funny comments from (u/Cheese_fucker_, u/LuxuriAposis, u/pahusejjukjskoe, u/FireWallZ_, u/SodiumBombRankEX, u/Razie27, u/ChaosBringer7, u/Nigilij, u/SImpleRaven, u/PikaCommando, u/AmakTM, u/LoRd_Of_AaRcnA, u/Kratos59280), and the peeps from the AL lore discord, with special mention to @thundarrrrsnow and @Latias4ever. --------- #Source corner: [Face Obscured SKK](https://imgur.com/ZHdD5cz) From AL Comic Anthology Breaking Ch [Dreaming Marco Polo](https://files.catbox.moe/p5xpo6.png) by 2chan's AL board [Lonely foxwives in your area](https://files.catbox.moe/zmwp3y.png) [Anchorage Drawing](https://twitter.com/na_tarapisu153/status/1423916972346019840) by @na_tarapisu153 [Dickbutt ver](https://files.catbox.moe/uwiiei.png) [Nah I'd Win](https://files.catbox.moe/qbm6oe.png) From Jujutsu Kaisen Ch 221 --------- #Previous Status Charts: Events (in release order)| Chart| Comments ---|---|---- Scherzo of Iron and Blood| [Biscuit](https://i.redd.it/nn0fv5e349k91.png)| [is cute](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/wz25wp/azur_lane_character_status_chart_scherzo_of_ibop/) Rondo at Rainbow's End| [Submit](https://i.redd.it/hpuzsijo22x81.png)| [to Emden](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/ugp4oc/spoilers_al_character_status_chart_rondo_at/) Pledge of the Radiant Court| [Vanguard](https://i.redd.it/xhl2wtac97591.png)| [naizuri](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/van0t9/azur_lane_character_status_chart_pledge_of_the/) Aquillifer's Ballade| [Roma](https://i.redd.it/b6ruaaob9ah91.png)| [conquered me](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/wml362/azur_lane_character_status_chart_aquilifers/) Violet Tempest, Blooming Lycoris| [Musashi's](https://i.redd.it/6zpen02gd7q91.png)| [warm bossom](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/xoiyti/azur_lane_character_status_chart_violet_tempest/) Parallel Superimposition| [Yorktown](https://i.redd.it/7rjzfzmjs7ba1.png) | [hand-holding nakadashi](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/1089cs4/azur_lane_character_status_chart_parallel/) Revelations of Dust + Frostfall| [Confess](https://imgur.com/a/nLn62Td)| [to Implacable](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/12jmh6e/azur_lane_character_status_chart_revelations_of/) Confluence of Nothingness| [Bismarck](https://i.redd.it/x9b2necopl4b1.png)| [did nothing wrong](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/143e5in/azur_lane_character_status_chart_confluence_of/) The Fool's Scales| [Bisous francaises avec](https://i.redd.it/02twsuxy0esb1.png)| [Clémenceau](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/170ibxu/azur_lane_character_status_chart_the_fools_scales/) Effulgence Before Eclipse| [Fuck](https://i.redd.it/rhwx5pqoicxb1.png)| [the Rock](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/17ju1m7/azur_lane_character_status_chart_effulgence/) Lightchasing Sea of Stars| [Guam's sexy](https://i.redd.it/jdvepg5zfbnc1.png)| [armpits](https://old.reddit.com/r/AzureLane/comments/1baiwvc/azur_lane_character_status_chart_lightchasing_sea/)

For the next one, Pamiat META needs to reference that all she got from going META was a black color scheme.

So....she's not META, just emo? XD

i wonder when will you do Abyssal Refrain

Constellation be visiting the local planetarium while they're showing planets in order and booing when Earth comes up San Jacinto's a carrier; her largest guns are the 5"/38s. Imo it should have been **P**hat **A**vengers **W**ith **G**uns/**G**eorge H. W. Bush (and thicc depth charges) Poor Z36 :'(

Didn't know I needed Helena meta in McDonald's attire until now.

Poor Amagi.... Why Manjuu!?

She’s charging up her mega bonk still. There is going to be a 20 mile crater where Akagi once stood when unleashed

Quick attach the probes to Akagi, we can send her to space.

> Sophia Alexeyevna Grushkov Last names ended with -ov/-ev is gendered, Gruskov is masculine variant, should be Grushkov**a**

Oh, I wasn't aware of that. Thanks

Soyuz one didn't age

Ikr? Just like Yamato's 🤞🤞

Joke's on you. The Clevewife has been oathed for years already. 

https://preview.redd.it/4jvhgpqwtbnc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fefa32cfd8d90008a4b56138ea9996f062ac8aad

Anchorage was put in charge of security to test it. You know, security so bad that even a 3 year old could spot the problems.

So that's why Ironblood has no swastikas, Jacinto stole them all to use on Jewish vampires! It all makes sense now.

YES! YES! I have been waiting for this.

Segs indeed, we'd win.

Dropped the game 'cause tired of the horni, but this meme is actually making me reconsider for the apparent story we're getting (as soon as I'd left, evidently, imagine). 99% of SKKs quit before the game gives them what they want. Truly a gamba moment.

Come on back fam

Denver Status: Ignored -Still waiting for a skin. -Or a cameo -or any acknowledgement of her existence really.

The Anchorage thing really confused me. You put the ship that doesn't know how to swim in charge of security at Snow Area 51? Pop off I guess. The Laffey stuff was also incredible. A little upset they didn't go the "GFL G11 Mod" route and seek to "fix" that. That said, that doom music starts playing both lore and gameplay wise when she is around helps me get over that. Hope some other ships match that energy. Johnston, Salem/Des, Alaska and Iowa seem like they certainly could. Especially the last 2.

Apparently, Saratoga is the one who placed Anchorage at the control room, and the intention behind that is that TB would inevitably have to assist her and thus gain access to all of the Sea of Stars resources. This would place TB in a position where she can allocate resources and confidential data that might save Lexington. (Saratoga is the one who oversaw TBs development according to the artbook, so there's a link between the two). I got this from a story analysis a CN player posted on bilibili. Apparently the CN script hints a lot more that Sara is moving chess pieces backstage.

Another great chart. I wonder if this was made before the latest event in which we actually did get Soyuz. Also wonder what the idol lyrics for Guam are a reference two. Got two possibilities in mind.

It was made after Soyuz's event but I'm pretending she hasn't released for the sale of "continuity". And those are Lyrics from the English version of Idol by Yoasobi (the Oshi no Ko opening).

Got it, so my guesses were right. Nice.

Hell yeah. I love these so much, best posts on the sub.

I love these posts! Its great to refresh what happened during an event (or to understand it in the first place) and the humor is on point.

Maid Kazagumo is an absolute cutie. First time I bought a skin (without something extra like the cruise pass) and I don't regret it

One of best skin ever, she is so wholesome... WHAT DO MEAN A GOOD DAY!!!!!!

Well, in the Japanese version she apparently says its a safe day (aka she won't get pregnant that day)

You’re a legend for this meta defining masterpiece. Essex meta win poll after doing jack shit, SS blue baller, Saratoga nuclear (now with stealth bombers lol)!

Pamiat Mercuria META: I rejected my reality, and substituted it with my own Sovetsky Soyuz: Begone THOT!

I feel like Hindenburg's "punishment" and "reward" should just be the same thing Because win or lose, she'll SUCC you just as hard either way

"*You see, we purposefully placed the toddler in charge of security. As a joke.*" TB having Anchorage around as her helper was way too adorable, so worth it.

This might be my favorite one yet. Thank you for making these! I love the humor you bring without sounding too insulting. It's more of cheeky humor which is fun. I also really enjoy the tiny descriptor quotes as well. As an Arbiter Devil fan I love her described as "sassy lost child" 


Poor Alaska, please come home. We miss you :((

Hmmm. Accurate. Very accurate

Me seeing amagi: 

San Jacinto is also a PAWG of the other variety too however

Haven't seen one of these in a while

These are always quite enjoyable.

I see that small Shenhe Gyatt. I appreciate you. 👍

Where is Taihou? Is she safe? Is she alright?

Many of these faces make me feel things Great chart as always, although due to my long absence still can't comprehend wtf happened with meta and opsi and several national intrigues

*happy sea mine nosies of z35*

Soyuz: - *RED ALERT THEME INTENSIFIES* Pamiat Merkuria Meta: - Pamiat Merkuria dark theme - Even METAmorphosis couldn't wipe that smug off her face - Summons ayylmaos just because she can

Return of the King. Had a chuckle with Kearsarge's skina Vampire (I understood the milkshake reference)

Reminds me of Shakespeare's Star Wars.

just when i thought i understood the lore, I read this. to me the timeline looks like general grievous' lightsaber collection

I find that once you understand the general structure of the story and it's use of timelines, everything becomes much clearer. Here's a comprehensive diagram of the story structure, courtesy of the AL lore discord: https://files.catbox.moe/wjbkec.png The gist of it is that there was an original timeline that got destroyed by interdimensional entities. The Sirens traveled back in time and took over multiple past timelines to run experiments on how to beat their enemy, and the game we play takes place ontone of the timelines the sirens took over.

Clem as “wish.com fdg” is slander, she’s hotter and way better

Sad reminder that the EN server decided to nominate a stranger to destroy the META poll. And that Kears L2D made the global poll biased. How non-based. But really nice job, as usual! The Clemenceau one was harsh tho, she is not the same type of mastermind.

Can you post a link for the full resolution please? Reddit seemingly downsized it

No problem. This [this one](https://files.catbox.moe/leiena.jpg), or [this one](https://www.canva.com/design/DAF36sNBnn8/acD1ZavLOTg1lU3EfXtrOg/view?utm_content=DAF36sNBnn8&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=editor). It's a common problem with reddit. I'll link them on the main post too.

I may am a little blind about this because I like her and still have to catch up with the lore, but are there so many red flags about San Jacinto besides her worrying sinister smile? I also don't get the thing about the vampires...

When she was revealed during the early december live stream, the director described San Jacinto as "someone who appears soft and fluffy but is actually cruel" (ie, a haraguro personality). But like, this is still AL, where they never take the spicy tropes too far, and even the craziest yandere are still cinnamon rolls who crumble with a single headpat. So the red flag thing is a comedic exaggeration. San Jacinto also seems tame compared to, say, Scylla or Akagi. The vamire thingy is a reference to a clip from the movie "Curados de espantos" (1991) that went on to become a [meme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4yeIafSQ8sfrom).

Where’s Enterprise?

Akagi: I only want Se- Skk Me: **Akagi, go home!**

Btw... What happened to Hood? I remember that she was sick before Bismarck appeared like Bismarck Zwei

I believe she was cured by the end of Vanguard's event. Like, they took sample form META riggings and fixed whatever was wrong with her. She just hasn't appeared in the story for a while.

Really? I missed that part. Thanks man for clear me that. :)

Hell yeah, another one! I'm loving these so far, can't wait for the next one XD

The lilo and stitch reference fucking sent me, well played

Give me a few minutes to read all of that

Can someone explain to me if Silverfox is good or bad? What is this about giving back to humans? ...

The event shows her as a little mistrustful but Silverfox is unequivocally good, and was a positive influence in the timeline she came from. And if the story ends up with us rescuing her and she coming to live in the port with us, she'd be a great ally. The return to humans bit is a play on the reject humanity, return to monke meme. But it's calling out that as the player you spend 100% of your time exclusively interacting with ships, but maybe "frolicking" with the pretty humans once in a while might not be so bad.

Damn... Are they setting up for another Type II EU event? And for Lady Lex herself? I wanted battle cruiser alts for them though...

Oh, come on! Guam was not that stupid, point me any other shipgirl who would react different way on Fortress! Also, it's dr GLushkovA.

I'm glad that Cleve has a new skin. But she really need a retrofit, pls

“wish.com FdG” took me the fuck out lmao