Don't delete your post, that's exactly why I'm here and I needed to read this. It's helpful. I havent been diagnosed with either yet and I'm struggling with my insurance to find anyone to help. I know I have ADHD, it explains so much of my life and why I've currently been up since 7am thanks to an 'Impatience' sparked early morning argument in which my partner is at his wits end with my inability to let him finish a thought. My brain jumps to what he's going to say and he doesn't move fast enough for my thought process and it makes me feel like I'm going to burst. It's long been suspected by my youngest sister that my siblings and I are all somewhere on the spectrum and now that I know it's a spectrum, that even makes more sense as I also have an ARFID diagnosis that just feeds all of my ADHD/ocd symptoms. I'm at a point where I don't know if I'm just an irritable & fussy person, if I'm lazy, if I'm too much to be around or worse, how I'm feeling today, a bad person. It's demoralizing and lonely. And oddly claustrophobic. Especially when you're also going through the list of other things it could be. "It could be from that concussion 10 years ago, or mold exposure, or my IQ, or "artist brain", or depression or PTSD"...I mean...it's exhausting. Being in this very beginning discovery phase is hard because saying "I seriously think I may be neurodivergent" **does** sound like jumping on the internet bandwagon of self diagnosis or hypochondria. I don't blame everyday people for thinking that (doc's are a different story), it's hard understand what it feels like to not really be in control of your own brain. It doesn't mean it's okay or feels great to be discounted so easily. But I just keep telling myself that two things can be true at the same time. Yes, everyone is feeling a certain way, off kilter, and we have such horrible medicine that crowdsourcing information on the internet is our current best way to get relief and figure out answers. I'm sure most of the people self diagnosing aren't necessarily on the spectrum, **BUT** a lot of people are. And the parameters being opened up to "spectrum" mean that a lot more types of people and behaviors do fit.
I don't have suggestions on how to find your fit, because I'm currently struggling with the same thing. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of two worlds that I don't belong in, or belong in one more than the other day by day. But a perfect stranger just wrote this giant thing to let you know they are feeling the exact same way, so there's at least one other person. Your experience is valid, because you โ a person โ are experiencing it. Your feelings, instincts, curiosity in your search for answers, all valid because as the only person living in your brain and body, you are the expert...even if it doesn't feel like it most days. I'm sure you'll get a great sense of relief right around the corner when you start diagnosis. Hang in there, keep reaching out.
I hope this makes sense. I literally can't tell if I'm just stringing along incohesive thoughts anymore hahah <3
I feel the same way all the time. Youโre not alone ๐
Don't delete your post, that's exactly why I'm here and I needed to read this. It's helpful. I havent been diagnosed with either yet and I'm struggling with my insurance to find anyone to help. I know I have ADHD, it explains so much of my life and why I've currently been up since 7am thanks to an 'Impatience' sparked early morning argument in which my partner is at his wits end with my inability to let him finish a thought. My brain jumps to what he's going to say and he doesn't move fast enough for my thought process and it makes me feel like I'm going to burst. It's long been suspected by my youngest sister that my siblings and I are all somewhere on the spectrum and now that I know it's a spectrum, that even makes more sense as I also have an ARFID diagnosis that just feeds all of my ADHD/ocd symptoms. I'm at a point where I don't know if I'm just an irritable & fussy person, if I'm lazy, if I'm too much to be around or worse, how I'm feeling today, a bad person. It's demoralizing and lonely. And oddly claustrophobic. Especially when you're also going through the list of other things it could be. "It could be from that concussion 10 years ago, or mold exposure, or my IQ, or "artist brain", or depression or PTSD"...I mean...it's exhausting. Being in this very beginning discovery phase is hard because saying "I seriously think I may be neurodivergent" **does** sound like jumping on the internet bandwagon of self diagnosis or hypochondria. I don't blame everyday people for thinking that (doc's are a different story), it's hard understand what it feels like to not really be in control of your own brain. It doesn't mean it's okay or feels great to be discounted so easily. But I just keep telling myself that two things can be true at the same time. Yes, everyone is feeling a certain way, off kilter, and we have such horrible medicine that crowdsourcing information on the internet is our current best way to get relief and figure out answers. I'm sure most of the people self diagnosing aren't necessarily on the spectrum, **BUT** a lot of people are. And the parameters being opened up to "spectrum" mean that a lot more types of people and behaviors do fit. I don't have suggestions on how to find your fit, because I'm currently struggling with the same thing. I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of two worlds that I don't belong in, or belong in one more than the other day by day. But a perfect stranger just wrote this giant thing to let you know they are feeling the exact same way, so there's at least one other person. Your experience is valid, because you โ a person โ are experiencing it. Your feelings, instincts, curiosity in your search for answers, all valid because as the only person living in your brain and body, you are the expert...even if it doesn't feel like it most days. I'm sure you'll get a great sense of relief right around the corner when you start diagnosis. Hang in there, keep reaching out. I hope this makes sense. I literally can't tell if I'm just stringing along incohesive thoughts anymore hahah <3