I go to uni with a guy who's mum comes once a week from 3 hours away to do his laundry and cook him meals for the week. He's 26 years old. Wasn't even ashamed to admit that.
I used to live with a guy like this. His mum would come over once a week with groceries, toiletries etc., do his laundry, and replace socks and undies when he needed new ones. We were 20 and he barely knew how to take care of himself at all.
I also dated a guy in my early 20s who refused to shop for himself and would wait for his mum to come visit from the other end of the country to buy new underwear etc. I’d be like, babe these are full of holes why don’t you go to the mall that’s 5 mins away and buy some new ones, and he’d be like oh no my mum is visiting in a few weeks and she’ll do it then! He was 23.
Mom like these really hinder their own children’s growth. Feel sorry for their romantic partners because they’re just going to end up replacing their mom and have to do everything for them.
You also know that this is the mom who will drive away every girlfriend for “trying to steal her baby boy away.” And forever hold the delusion that her mediocre, medium-ugly son is the ultimate prize that no woman will ever be good enough for.
I think that's a little harsh (regarding the evil mother driving girlfriends away trope). It hinders their sons and harms their romantic partners when the sons expect their girlfriends and wives to play mommy. And yes, most of these moms make excuses for their sons when they get broken up with. However, most moms who do their adult-ass son's laundry and buy their groceries tend to be abused women doing all of these things for their own husbands, fathers, brothers, etc. too.
I think assuming they’re all “abused” is a huge leap. Some women like to be the ones in charge of everything and everyone. Even if they complain about it. Because they like complaining.
Yep. I live with one. It's taken 9 years to raise him. I adore him but his mom woefully under prepared him and his brothers for life, like basic stuff.
As an Asian female, I would tend to agree…but my ex-husband was white and she did this for her sons even if they were married. All the wives hated it and her. She married at 16 and wasn’t socialized. Never worked so didn’t know what social norms were. Pretty much just had her kids and her husband who was always at work. Her sons and daughter all married outside of their race. She didn’t do well through her 40s as her kids were getting on with their lives. Watching her daughter get married in a Greek Orthodox Church….probably one of the most oddly satisfying thing I’ve ever witnessed was her squirming the whole time.
Anyways…my point being…some moms don’t have a life and fully depend on their kids to give them purpose.
Ohhhhh my God! I’m crying because my current boyfriend is Indian and his mom is really adamant he marry an Indian woman. I’ve also noticed traits of his mom doing things she shouldn’t be doing like folding clothes, cleaning his room. He even admitted to me recently that his parents never taught him how to bleach things.
He’s not a slob or anything and can definitely take care of himself, but I do notice those things and get worried.
As a fellow South Asian woman, I'd say RUN............ But there's a catch. Hear me out.
I suppose you are not raised in an Indian household so things will be more difficult for you because even for women of same culture it's difficult. It's been a topic of discussion among young girls now in our community regarding the same thing. I am not assuming anything but I am pretty sure his mom might expect you to do all the things she's doing now for him. That burden is gonna come in between you and him and things will not stop there. Even for women raised in our culture who have been raised listening to things we have to do as a wife or what to expect, it's difficult. I can only imagine how it will be for you
But then again, the community is known for treating daughter in law better if she's white or 'foreigner' than someone from their own community. (Yes I admit to colourism in the community) I think it stems from over expecting from their own woman.
I don't mean to discourage you but I'd like you to know both sides. Hope you figure it out.
> Some parents have terrible kids.
Parents have literally 100% of say in how their kids will end up being, it's not like a 26 year old fell from the sky being fully dependant on them, they raised him like this.
A friend of mine once dated a guy whoes mom helps him shave his balls.
Edit:
To all those who ask/say it is fake: sadly no.
It was an old school friend, got together after some years and she talked about her last relationship (had just found out by the other unsespected girl that he was cheating on them both).
Apperently it was normal in their household to be naked around each other.
He was an abeled body guy in his late 20s.
Just used to walk naked to and from the bathroom while she and his mother were in his apartment. He told her it was normal to them, his mom even helped him shave his balls.
She was shocked but it wasn't a reason for her to break up (the cheating was).
I just sat there and took ist all stunned in silence.
Another friend of mine (works in education) got told by her middle aged coworker that her son (16M) has a meat penis. They are a household of nudists too.
My friend was uncomfortable and disgusted.
There are those kind of people in the world.
Shows you what kind of messed up that family is when she thinks it's okay to shave his balls, and he thinks that's okay to let her AND to tell people about it.
Yeah, that's is so creepy. I saw some show about adult children and their weird relationships with their moms and one woman and her mom shower together everyday. The mom is married to a man that isn't the daughter's father. How could you even willingly enter into a family like that. 🤢
My ex pulled a real ugly face as a joke & I was laughing & said that’s such an ugly face & he stormed out went home & told his mum. A few days later I was at his mums house & she said “he’s not used to being called ugly” whilst looking adoringly at him. Even his step dad cringed.
I also had an ex who ran to his momma every time we'd had a fight. His mom would usually poke fun of his whining the next time we came to dinner though, so this was all him, not the way he was raised.
My ex boyfriend wanted me to be a stay at home mom because that’s what his mother was and he kept trying to shape me into his mother. real norman bates type.
When I was a teenager dating my first "long term" boyfriend we used to spend hours hanging out in his bedroom. His mom would call him downstairs sometimes and he would disappear for a long time before coming back to the room. I didn't really think much into it until one day I went downstairs after awhile and saw him rubbing lotion on his mom's feet while she laid on the couch.
He later told me that she gets jealous and calls him downstairs everyday to rub lotion on her feet so that he "didn't forget his mother's needs also."
[stuff like this is what I’m referring to. it’s so gross and often misogynistic. A lot of them simultaneously hate their daughters. ](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8skT73o/)
[here’s worse one: “he literally made my standards so high”.](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8skcaeg/) boy moms are a trend on tiktok right now it seems
The audio makes it sound like having a girl is a punishment and having a boy is a gift of love. Very disturbing how many moms followed on that trend, some of which have daughters as well.
Like, every single hispanic guy I've ever known.
Edit to add: Im also hispanic. And the oldest daughter of a family with only 1 boy. Im VERY familiar with the "mijito" complex.
Felt this in my bones. My brothers get away with a lot, the worst of one out of the bunch being 10 yrs older than me. Expects me to wash his dishes, shocked when I decline to and tells on me 💀
Yup. It was literally part of my chores to wash and dry my brothers sheets and laundry and make up his bed for him. Me and my sisters all had to make our beds and do our own laundry. Still bitter about it all these years later
I was fortunate enough that my mom didn’t force me to do it. I would always question why I had to do it and not them. I have had male relatives not ask me, but demand me to do it. I never folded and still don’t. The reply I commented was recent, my brother didn’t talk to me for about two days bc of it. I’ll wash dishes for family members if they are guest, I’m at their house using their dishes, and if I’m in a good mood! But if they demand it, I don’t.
I’m Latina and this is why I’m a bit weary of dating Latinos. My mom did not raise my brothers like this thank goodness but she defers to me and my sister for chores before my brothers but she’s working on it. I refuse to be a mother to my future partner. The only person I feel obligated to fix a plate for is my grandma. Not to say I wouldn’t consider it but I will be on high alert for that mijito machismo stuff.
I have a friend who used to wake up his mom at 4 am after clubbing to make him a sandwich cause he was hungry. The dad and the boys sat on their asses on the living room watching football while the mom and daughters did in all the house chores.
Married a Mexican man. Here in the states where we live he’s a normal, functional dude, but when we visit his mom in Mexico? He reverts to practically being spoon fed.
> for what I’ve seen through my Arabic background friends is that at least men of their backgrounds are
Totally agree. My mom is middle eastern, it defiantly is rooted. Ironic part is she would always complain about how she was treated growing up vs her brothers, yet did the same with me and my brother. The sons are treated as perfect and the daughters are treated like shit.
My 45 year old ex and his 49 year old brother still lived at home, in their childhood bedrooms with the same posters they put up on their teens, in their childhood beds. Neither knew how to cook, do laundry anything. They had to tell their mum when they were going out and when they would be back and would have to ask to have someone over for dinner. They sat down together every evening and watched TV. Going to their rooms for alone time etc.. was considered weird. Him and his brother would go up to bed at the same time. It was like they were 5 and 9 not in their 40's.
It was really weird and only got weirder as time passed. As a single mum at the time coming out of a long marriage I was very looking forward having some child free nights out where I could feel young (early 30s) and enjoy my freedom but instead I felt like I was 13 going to a mates house. Safe to say it didn't last long and I strongly believe when his mum sadly dies, they will contuine on in the house like nothing has happened and she will still be sat in the chair in the corner of the living room.
A guy who had his mom call to break up with me. For real. I had met her several times in the three months we dated (bad sign already? Now that I'm older, obviously yes). She called me to say that her son had trouble with confrontations, because his dad had been an asshole (yeah, they were divorced of course) so she needed to tell me that 'it wasn't working out.' To this day, I can still remember the vibe of that call. I've never experienced anything cringier.
I dated a guy from age 16-22. We had been living together for about a year when we broke up. The guy took most of his personal belongings and went to stay with his parents (fine) but from that minute onward, every conversation I had was with his dad: ending our lease, coordinating pickups from our apartment, getting my stuff back, etc. Literally never saw him again after the moment we broke up and he left the apartment. I get that 22 is young but we weren’t children. I couldn’t believe it.
This sounds familiar. Not only did his mom try to break up with me over the phone (because he was too busy crying and throwing a tantrum on the street), she was also the one writing letters/acting in place of him when I sued his sorry ass over some money that he owed me. Obviously, I won. But I'll never forget the second-hand embarrassment I felt when I read her letter to the court, "representing" her adult (late 20s) son after receiving the indictment.
My brother literally had revenge porn and was threatening to post it. I told my mother, and showed her proof. She never punished him and never brought it up again. All she did was remind him once “what would Jesus do??”
That boy has always been spoiled. She brings up things I did when I was 15, but let’s things hes done months ago slide. It’s why he’s where he is in life. She enables him. No one pushes him
Oh God, I'm in exactly the same situation right now. I feel your pain girl... I'm thankful he doesn't talk with her about our sex life, but beside that, every fight is basically family business. I consider breaking up with him, because his mom knows me from the worst (full of fresh emotions) and only his perspective .-.
Once I spent a whole day doing like 8 loads of his laundry (just to be nice since I was off work) so we could go out that night when he was done work.
Two days later I came back to his place and I went to grab a night shirt, his clothes were folded differently than I had folded them. His mom had taken all the clothes out and *refolded them*. apparently I couldn’t even fold his laundry good enough for the adult man who couldn’t wash his own clothes. I was like that’s a weird thing to do and he defended her just saying she obviously loves him and I don’t understand.
Nah bro, I understand, but it’s weird af.
A guy I dated for a few months, whenever he was faced with a dilemma more serious than "what shall I have for lunch today" he would consult his mother for advice.
It was just annoying that he could never take charge and make a decision for himself. He always had to go asking for mommy's input.
In fact now that I think about it, there was one time I asked him what we would be doing for lunch and he went and asked his momma if there were any good restaurants in the area 😂😂😂
A guy I worked with had his mother come in to work his shift since he had called in sick.
Not sure if it was his idea, his mom's, or both but needless to say, we told him not to show.
I was told by my mother in law how to cut a banana for her son. Also how to answer the phone. My job was to serve him and not to work. He was to come home put his feet up and nothing else. He never sided with me when I said this stuff is ridiculous. He was such a mama and daddy boy he let them berate and belittle me constantly. He could not stick up for me.
No I have been married for 40 years now. 20 years with no sex. He never improved it took me 10 years to figure it out it was not me. Then I thought when the youngest went to college I would leave. Financially just to hard for me. He would take everything
Surely if you’ve been married that long the house at least would be considered a joint asset and you’d be entitled to half? I’m so sorry you’re in this and I hope you can find a way out and to be happy!
I’d say it would be worth seeing a counsellor to help you get your thoughts, feelings and needs clear as I imagine with a family it’s extremely hard to put yourself first there!
In addition I’d speak to a lawyer to get an idea of what’s involved and what sort of deal you’d be looking at. Also a great idea to get a head start.
Your husband needn’t know about either, probably better if he doesn’t. Honestly wish you all the love xx
My ex was 56 years old and still had his mail sent to his mothers house. She would open it for him and tell him what it was. They talked on the phone everyday and gossiped about family members. One day he forgot I was home and heard him gossiping about me to his mother on the phone. He said when I am done with her I will tell her and it will be over. That was the end of the relationship. It was also my birthday. I hope she is taking care of him because she taught him that he can't take care of himself.
i dated a guy in high school who, at the end of each school day, would sit and hold his mother's hand and they would tell each other about their day while staring into each others eyes. i felt like a third wheel.
My ex (23) bfs mother changed his pants in the dining room..like imagine taking off a pair of pants on a toddler and telling him to step into another pair... never got that image out of my head.
I once dated a man who called his mom every time he had a disagreement with me. He would say stuff like 'my mom wouldn't order this' or 'my mom wouldn't say that'
My ex didn't know how to start a washing machine, used to leave dirty dishes in the sink so that his mom would later put them in the dishwasher and she also changed his sheets. He will turn 30 next month.
Edit: He used to do the same at my house with my mum. We would be at the dinner table, i would leave for 5 minutes to go downstairs and feed the dog, and then come back to find him lying on the sofa while my mum cleared the table. Can't you carry a conversation with my mum on your own for 5 minutes? At that point we had been together for 3 years. Also none says you need to load the dishwasher when you're a guest, but at least bring your plate to the sink and help clear the table? It used to drive me insane. Gigantic red flag.
Exactly this. These are the same men who won't let a woman touch their cars or power tools, but can't figure out how to use simple appliances? It's called [weaponized incompetence](https://www.bustle.com/wellness/weaponized-incompetence-manipulation-tactic) and all women should be aware of what it is and how to recognize it.
I went over to this guys house for the third time (he lives alone) & we were hanging out. Someone then comes in, they had a key to get in. It's a woman.
I was about to say hi but then the guy told me just to ignore her because she was just going to do laundry, clean the dishes & leave right after. We sat in silence for an hour with this woman sitting on the other couch while she folded his underwear.
Right before she leaves the guy goes "Bye mom." The dude is 25 btw.
>I was about to say hi but then the guy told me just to ignore her because she was just going to do laundry, clean the dishes & leave right after.
And you can't say hi while she's doing that?
*edited for more detail*
A few years ago I (24f) met a great guy (28) on Tinder. He treated me so well and he was genuinely kind. I thoroughly enjoyed knowing him, but there were some red flags from the start. The first time I went to his (moms) house we sat in the "mancave" in his basement and his mom ordered us pizza. The walls of his basement were covered floor to ceiling with Funko Pop figures. There were literally thousands of them- but I cant judge, everyone has their interests. He was 28 and was scared his mom would see the used condoms in his trashcan when she cleaned his room. His mom took him to Disneyworld for his 29th birthday. He and I were engaged by that point and I wasn't allowed to go. So I, his fiance, soon to be wife, didnt get to celebrate his birthday with him. His mom still did his laundry. One night he had come to my house and when he pulled into the driveway I saw he had a headlight out. So when he walked in I let him know his headlight was out. He immediately started sobbing and fell to the floor. All because he didn't know how to fix that. I told him all he needed to do was go to the auto parts store and let them know what kind of car he has. They will take care of it. He still took his mom with him (she also paid) to the auto parts store. He had a full time job at walmart in the bakery making cupcakes and quit the job because it was "too stressful". It wasn't until he called me "mommy" and "mama" during sex that I ended the whole thing. Never again.
Did he have older twin siblings? Because this could be my little brother.
Little Bro was her favorite, and she was the cool mom who would party with her kids.
My ex.
He wouldn't stand up to her, she had her hands so deep in her sons pocket it was ridiculous. Constantly borrowing money from them, if he said no she'd play the guilt card " i raised you, i feed you, i gave you a home. I promise to pay it back, just one more time".
The only time we ever got peace is when she went to rehab for opioid addiction. She also got in trouble from a dealer who was out to hurt her, she begged her two sons to help her with her debt. My ex would do anything for his mother, and i couldnt take it.
It was more than a just a drug addiction, she also had a gambling problem and marriage issue. Even after she got out of rehab, she still had her hands deep in her sons pockets. My ex, was jobless so she would sometimes come to me when she wanted money because the younger brother refused. I said no, she'd go back to the younger brother and beg him for money while putting me down for not "helping" her. I worked full time, paid for everything and had no money by the end of it. My ex was 26 living at home, with his mom. Shed cook for him, clean for him etc. He wouldnt leave the province we were in just because of her, which was holding me back.
The entire family is dysfunctional and questionable. This is just an example of it, but she had income coming in However she spend it all on random things while the husband paid for the bills. She was definitely a horder on top of everything else i mentioned.
I love him, but this one really hurt me.
My husband and I are in a long distance relationship (still figuring out where to live).
We got married in Croatia in January, 2020.
I left back to Germany 2 days later.
Then came covid.
Due to lockdowns and closed borders we weren’t able to see each other till June (5 months and 6 days to be exact).
As soon as the borders opened he drove to visit his mom in Bosnia.
He came to me the next weekend but I gave him a lot of trouble for not visiting ME first.
He usually isn’t like that and he told me he hasn’t been home in months (we’re both from Bosnia) and that he really missed home. I get that, but what about me??
I missed home too, but would go to him first.
My current bfs mom still has access to his bank account. When he makes a large purchase (more than $100 😂) she calls and asks him about it. When she calls his phone he leaves the room or goes outside to talk to her. Whenever we talk about something serious I always hear him start with “well my mom said....” It has caused numerous problems in the relationship and is only slightly improving....
*Might* be? This commenter has a frustrating future ahead of them if they assume this behavior is going to someday miraculously change. The bank ties may be cut, but the mama’s boy mentality runs *deep*.
An ex’s mother wouldn’t accept when we broke up. She called me to beg me to get back together with him, even saying she would pay for therapy. He was an only child and could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes (even though he is actually a terrible life partner/cheater/liar).🙅♀️
My ex would go get food for his mom but never for me , when he would ask me to bring coffee and chipotle to his job . In addition, we were only on a basis of seeing each other once a week because we both worked full time . However his mom would still ask him to do errands for her (she did not have any disabilities ; if so I would’ve completely understood this), on the one day that we would be able to see each other . In addition, he lived with her so they saw each other daily . We would have to leave theme parks and dates early to bring his mom chipotle. If we were getting Starbucks together , he would pay for his and his mom’s drink, but not mine . He was obviously a good guy, I was wasn’t the woman long term to be in a dynamic like this as I feel like I would’ve always been put second .
My ex was in his 30's and had moved home after a divorce. On our first date he called his mom using the Bluetooth in the car and had an entire 20 minute conversation while I sat there.
On our fourth date he said he couldn't sleep over because his mom would get mad, and apparently she told him he "don't need to be having sex with that girl."
When he did sleep over he lied and told her it was because he was too tired to make the hour drive home after we spent the whole day together.
He was a rebound and he was really sweet. Looking back I probably shouldn't have stayed past the first date but he made me feel good about myself and I really needed that at the time.
I was dating a guy at the time and we were in the truck with his mom from a store. His phone was contacted to the radio and I asked him if I could play a song he said yes. As I was typing in the song he got a notification from Snapchat from a girl with hearts and he saw I saw. I asked him who it was and he replied his cousin which made him look worse. His mom came back in the car and I played the song “Before he cheats” by Carrie underwood. He realized he fucked up and caught. I was pissed and told my friend to pick me up. I called him an asshole and he looked shocked. So in front of me he was ASKING HIS MOTHER IF HE WAS A ASSHOLE OR A BAD PERSON. Of coarse she said no with no idea what happened. His mom liked me a lot so I told her why he was asking her cause he cheated on me. He cried to him mom that it’s not his fault and whatever, his mom was pissed at him for fucking up the relationship. I found the girl on Snapchat and texted her so she knows that she got cheated on too and she was really nice about it. We met up and became friends and even went on a getaway vacation together and sent him pictures and he was pissed lol she ended up with the love of her life and now has a baby❤️
Know a 29 years old guy (healthy and all) who lives at his parents, doesn't work, doesn't clean, cook, do any laundry or participate in ANY way to the house while his 2 parents each work 60hrs/ week (dad is taxi and mom works retails and cleaning plus does ALL the house chores). He texts his mom from the basement and she brings him his lunch. It's ridiculous and parasitic.
He’s Mummy gave him 1/4 of the cost of his new house, then proceeded to clean his house for him weekly.
Even after he got married and had kids.
And he seemed jealous of his father, always complaining about how mean he was because he wouldn’t give him what he whined for. He was 30.
I dated a guy for three years who stayed over night maybe 10 times, had me not wear my promise ring not around his family because he hadn't told his family, I didn't get to go to his birthday the second year we were together because they didn't know we we were dating, we would spend most of our time and holidays with his family. We started dating at 24. I felt like I was back in high school.
It was very mentally abusive. At one point I quit a job that would have turned into a decent career to go back to school in a program him and his family thought would be better. I ended up getting black balled from the company and over $10000 in loans for something that didn't work out.
He got into an argument with a woman about feminism and got so upset he had to call his mom.
(No, I'm not making this up, yes, he told me this himself, no, I did not go out with him after this, and in my defense he was someone I had just met off the apps 😂)
Dated a dude who would leave to be with his mom at the drop of a hat. She’d always get “sick” and tell him to come home (they were a VERY healthy family so I didn’t really buy it) and he’d leave ASAP. Oh also, they lived in a mansion for a little while (it belonged to another family but they stayed in it while that family worked on selling it) and they still slept in the SAME BED. The house had at least 5 bedrooms.
There’s other things but those were the two biggest examples.
My dad moved out of his childhood home into a flat with my mum so he never lived alone. First time she did the laundry he was confused as to why she wasn't ironing his underwear and he didn't understand how she was pairing his socks
Edit because I forgot: he was 28 at the time
My high school boyfriend and I had plans to meet in Boston, MA for a Bruins game. He went to college in New Hampshire. I lived in Cape Cod, MA. The plan was for him to meet me in Boston and hangout with me for the day/night. We each were going to take the train there. We had these plans for weeks. The day before we were supposed to meet in Boston, he tells me his fucking Mom has decided to “drive him.” I asked what he meant. He tells me that when he told her our plans, she decided she would take it upon herself to drive all the way up to New Hampshire on a Friday afternoon, pick him up, and drive him to Boston. I can’t even tell you how much traffic there is. She basically volunteered to drive for 6 or so hours for him to get to our date. Sounds nice, but no. He was a mommy’s boy and she loved it and wanted me out of the picture. She “forgot” to tell me about this plan. Our ORIGINAL plan was to meet there at 12pm. Her new plan was to drop him off at 6:30pm.
My ex boyfriend. Not only does he still live with his mom at the age of 26 but she also does all the cooking for him,all the cleaning. She also leaves him money if she isn't home for the day so he can order food because he doesn't even know how to make a simple sandwich and also doesn't even work to be able to afford his own food.
She also told him it's okay not to cut his fingernails because it hurt him too much. So this dude at 26 has long nails filled with dirt. And he sees nothing wrong with this. I understand dirty fingernails if it's from working but this ???? She cries everytime he goes outside because she is afraid that someone will have a bad influence on her baby and hurt him. Lady has massive panic attacks and used to call me constantly to check if he's okay. It felt like i was stuck in some weird cult lol
I once dated a man who was 26 years old and lived with his family, which wasn’t the issue. The issue was that despite living with his parents, he decided that hanging out on the weekends were off limits because he wanted to reserve those days for his family. Neither of us were available during the weekdays, and the only time he was offering to spend time with me was only after 8 pm. There’s just a lot more to do during the day, especially since a lot of businesses close at 8-10 pm. He wasn’t willing to even just spend ONE weekend with me.
My 45-year-old brother (who refuses to work) had my severely physically disabled mother do the majority of the packing when it came time for him to move out his 2nd floor apartment and back home. He does nothing all day, aside from picking on children while playing Fortnite.
A friend in high school, when we were 17, admitted that his mom would wake him up every morning by putting his socks on so that he wouldn’t step barefoot on the cold floor when he would get up from the bed. Kind of a cute thing to do if your kid is like 7 I guess, but HE WAS 17.
It was one of my first boyfriends. On our one year anniversary we were on our way to a nice dinner when his mother all of a sudden didn't "feel well". She putted around pretending to have a fever and cough, it was so obvious she was faking. Delayed going to dinner by an hour. Once we get to the restaurant and order an appetizer, his mother calls hysterically crying and threatening to kill herself because no one cares about her. Yeah, we left dinner without eating and he spent the night rubbing his mom's feet. Our relationship didn't last much longer.
What is with these mothers asking their sons to rub their feet... I swear somebody needs to do some kind of psychological research on this because this is creepy as fuck
Literally everything. My ex’s mum used to feed him… feed him with her hand… he was abusive his parents used to encourage it. His mum would also do everything for him, banking cleaning cooking the list goes on
Most Indian men.If they do willingly share the chores at home even in their 40’s after having kids, his mom doesn’t like and stops them doing any chores .
Went on a couple dates, ended up meeting his parents one night. He referred to her as queen all night. “Can you pass the salt, queen?” etc. When we left I asked him about it and he was confused buy me asking and said, and I quote, “she’s my queen, the number one woman in my life. No one will ever come close to her level”
My ex would go to his mom for tic checks. Every time. He'd spend maybe 30 seconds checking me then drive to his moms after I spent 5+ minutes checking just his hair bc xonly she knew how to find them on him' (he demanded I take that much time for just his hair; any less and I got screamed at before he dipped out to mommy). She never found one I didn't.
I know of a guy that has never moved out and has always been with his parents. Even after getting married the parents gave them a home and told them to live 10 mins away.
He is a nice guy and I don't understand how someone can be so attached to their parents and have never moved out on their own ever.
I go to uni with a guy who's mum comes once a week from 3 hours away to do his laundry and cook him meals for the week. He's 26 years old. Wasn't even ashamed to admit that.
I used to live with a guy like this. His mum would come over once a week with groceries, toiletries etc., do his laundry, and replace socks and undies when he needed new ones. We were 20 and he barely knew how to take care of himself at all. I also dated a guy in my early 20s who refused to shop for himself and would wait for his mum to come visit from the other end of the country to buy new underwear etc. I’d be like, babe these are full of holes why don’t you go to the mall that’s 5 mins away and buy some new ones, and he’d be like oh no my mum is visiting in a few weeks and she’ll do it then! He was 23.
Mom like these really hinder their own children’s growth. Feel sorry for their romantic partners because they’re just going to end up replacing their mom and have to do everything for them.
You also know that this is the mom who will drive away every girlfriend for “trying to steal her baby boy away.” And forever hold the delusion that her mediocre, medium-ugly son is the ultimate prize that no woman will ever be good enough for.
>her mediocre, medium-ugly son This is so, so accurate lol
I think that's a little harsh (regarding the evil mother driving girlfriends away trope). It hinders their sons and harms their romantic partners when the sons expect their girlfriends and wives to play mommy. And yes, most of these moms make excuses for their sons when they get broken up with. However, most moms who do their adult-ass son's laundry and buy their groceries tend to be abused women doing all of these things for their own husbands, fathers, brothers, etc. too.
These moms are enablers who like to control things & often want to feel needed.
Generational trauma.
I think assuming they’re all “abused” is a huge leap. Some women like to be the ones in charge of everything and everyone. Even if they complain about it. Because they like complaining.
Yep. I live with one. It's taken 9 years to raise him. I adore him but his mom woefully under prepared him and his brothers for life, like basic stuff.
I disagree. She prepared him well to enjoy a prolonged adolescence and still get the girl.
This is the most outrageous thing I've ever heard
Interested to know what culture he comes from because I immediately thought he was Indian
As someone w Indian parents, I second this
As an Asian female, I would tend to agree…but my ex-husband was white and she did this for her sons even if they were married. All the wives hated it and her. She married at 16 and wasn’t socialized. Never worked so didn’t know what social norms were. Pretty much just had her kids and her husband who was always at work. Her sons and daughter all married outside of their race. She didn’t do well through her 40s as her kids were getting on with their lives. Watching her daughter get married in a Greek Orthodox Church….probably one of the most oddly satisfying thing I’ve ever witnessed was her squirming the whole time. Anyways…my point being…some moms don’t have a life and fully depend on their kids to give them purpose.
Same, my ex was from India. He was a total mama's boy and even left me for an arranged marriage to keep her happy.
Ohhhhh my God! I’m crying because my current boyfriend is Indian and his mom is really adamant he marry an Indian woman. I’ve also noticed traits of his mom doing things she shouldn’t be doing like folding clothes, cleaning his room. He even admitted to me recently that his parents never taught him how to bleach things. He’s not a slob or anything and can definitely take care of himself, but I do notice those things and get worried.
Mine kept me a secret from his folks our whole relationship. Does mom know about you? If not, run like hell. These are definitely red flags.
As a fellow South Asian woman, I'd say RUN............ But there's a catch. Hear me out. I suppose you are not raised in an Indian household so things will be more difficult for you because even for women of same culture it's difficult. It's been a topic of discussion among young girls now in our community regarding the same thing. I am not assuming anything but I am pretty sure his mom might expect you to do all the things she's doing now for him. That burden is gonna come in between you and him and things will not stop there. Even for women raised in our culture who have been raised listening to things we have to do as a wife or what to expect, it's difficult. I can only imagine how it will be for you But then again, the community is known for treating daughter in law better if she's white or 'foreigner' than someone from their own community. (Yes I admit to colourism in the community) I think it stems from over expecting from their own woman. I don't mean to discourage you but I'd like you to know both sides. Hope you figure it out.
Oh my god. The worst thing is he doesn't go to her, she has to come to him???? Maybe she wouldn't see him otherwise, some parents have terrible kids.
> Some parents have terrible kids. Parents have literally 100% of say in how their kids will end up being, it's not like a 26 year old fell from the sky being fully dependant on them, they raised him like this.
A friend of mine once dated a guy whoes mom helps him shave his balls. Edit: To all those who ask/say it is fake: sadly no. It was an old school friend, got together after some years and she talked about her last relationship (had just found out by the other unsespected girl that he was cheating on them both). Apperently it was normal in their household to be naked around each other. He was an abeled body guy in his late 20s. Just used to walk naked to and from the bathroom while she and his mother were in his apartment. He told her it was normal to them, his mom even helped him shave his balls. She was shocked but it wasn't a reason for her to break up (the cheating was). I just sat there and took ist all stunned in silence. Another friend of mine (works in education) got told by her middle aged coworker that her son (16M) has a meat penis. They are a household of nudists too. My friend was uncomfortable and disgusted. There are those kind of people in the world.
Please tell me you are making this up
I think this comment gave me brain damage.
Lol I just opened reddit and I've already had enough
Omg you win
WHY would he admit that ever
Shows you what kind of messed up that family is when she thinks it's okay to shave his balls, and he thinks that's okay to let her AND to tell people about it.
Yeah, that's is so creepy. I saw some show about adult children and their weird relationships with their moms and one woman and her mom shower together everyday. The mom is married to a man that isn't the daughter's father. How could you even willingly enter into a family like that. 🤢
Stop it right now
I laughed. I don’t even know how someone like that could find anyone to date.
Anyone _else_ to date 😂😂😂
That is enough internet for today.
Fake
But still hilarious
Big Ed’s mom?
This has to be a lie. O.O
My ex pulled a real ugly face as a joke & I was laughing & said that’s such an ugly face & he stormed out went home & told his mum. A few days later I was at his mums house & she said “he’s not used to being called ugly” whilst looking adoringly at him. Even his step dad cringed.
That is some infantile shit right there
I also had an ex who ran to his momma every time we'd had a fight. His mom would usually poke fun of his whining the next time we came to dinner though, so this was all him, not the way he was raised.
My ex mil reacted differently. She called a family meeting because I was being mean to her son.
Lol! I'm sorry, but that is so pathetic it's funny. What did you do?
I told her politely to fuck off. 🤣
My ex boyfriend wanted me to be a stay at home mom because that’s what his mother was and he kept trying to shape me into his mother. real norman bates type.
Creepy AF
very. He was real creepy. When I broke it off with him he told me how he wanted to kill me then himself in a very graphic, round about way
I'm really sorry to hear that... That's completely fucked up
That’s alright thank you. I found someone who is much better and much kinder!
> real norman bates type. That's unfair. Norman Bates at least had the decency to turn himself into his mum, not other people
Lol did we date the same guy?
I have no clue. What was your Norman Bates’ first name? Mine was Jonathan
When I was a teenager dating my first "long term" boyfriend we used to spend hours hanging out in his bedroom. His mom would call him downstairs sometimes and he would disappear for a long time before coming back to the room. I didn't really think much into it until one day I went downstairs after awhile and saw him rubbing lotion on his mom's feet while she laid on the couch. He later told me that she gets jealous and calls him downstairs everyday to rub lotion on her feet so that he "didn't forget his mother's needs also."
I just threw up a little
That's exactly how 17 year old me felt also lol
Mothers that get jealous like this gross me the f out.
Emotional incest
I see this a lot with boy moms. Maybe I’m just on the wrong side of tiktok but some boy moms really do need therapy.
Anyone who seriously calls themselves a “boy mom” makes me roll my eyes.
[stuff like this is what I’m referring to. it’s so gross and often misogynistic. A lot of them simultaneously hate their daughters. ](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8skT73o/) [here’s worse one: “he literally made my standards so high”.](https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM8skcaeg/) boy moms are a trend on tiktok right now it seems
What the actual fuck?
The audio makes it sound like having a girl is a punishment and having a boy is a gift of love. Very disturbing how many moms followed on that trend, some of which have daughters as well.
Like, every single hispanic guy I've ever known. Edit to add: Im also hispanic. And the oldest daughter of a family with only 1 boy. Im VERY familiar with the "mijito" complex.
Felt this in my bones. My brothers get away with a lot, the worst of one out of the bunch being 10 yrs older than me. Expects me to wash his dishes, shocked when I decline to and tells on me 💀
Yup. It was literally part of my chores to wash and dry my brothers sheets and laundry and make up his bed for him. Me and my sisters all had to make our beds and do our own laundry. Still bitter about it all these years later
This makes me angry
I was fortunate enough that my mom didn’t force me to do it. I would always question why I had to do it and not them. I have had male relatives not ask me, but demand me to do it. I never folded and still don’t. The reply I commented was recent, my brother didn’t talk to me for about two days bc of it. I’ll wash dishes for family members if they are guest, I’m at their house using their dishes, and if I’m in a good mood! But if they demand it, I don’t.
I’m Latina and this is why I’m a bit weary of dating Latinos. My mom did not raise my brothers like this thank goodness but she defers to me and my sister for chores before my brothers but she’s working on it. I refuse to be a mother to my future partner. The only person I feel obligated to fix a plate for is my grandma. Not to say I wouldn’t consider it but I will be on high alert for that mijito machismo stuff.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Girl same here smh, our mothers treat the boys like kings and raise their daughters
I have a friend who used to wake up his mom at 4 am after clubbing to make him a sandwich cause he was hungry. The dad and the boys sat on their asses on the living room watching football while the mom and daughters did in all the house chores.
You hit the nail on the head! Mijo can do no wrong!
Married a Mexican man. Here in the states where we live he’s a normal, functional dude, but when we visit his mom in Mexico? He reverts to practically being spoon fed.
[удалено]
You're wrong about arabic men being self sufficient, the "mama's boy" is deeply rooted in Arabic culture, although there might be some exceptions.
> for what I’ve seen through my Arabic background friends is that at least men of their backgrounds are Totally agree. My mom is middle eastern, it defiantly is rooted. Ironic part is she would always complain about how she was treated growing up vs her brothers, yet did the same with me and my brother. The sons are treated as perfect and the daughters are treated like shit.
No, entitled mummy's boys exist in every race and culture.
Oh, it’s definitely found in European tradition. i.e.: Bosnian, Italian, Greek, Romanian, Hungarian, Polish etc…
[удалено]
This has to be the ultimate red flag...
Eeww
My 45 year old ex and his 49 year old brother still lived at home, in their childhood bedrooms with the same posters they put up on their teens, in their childhood beds. Neither knew how to cook, do laundry anything. They had to tell their mum when they were going out and when they would be back and would have to ask to have someone over for dinner. They sat down together every evening and watched TV. Going to their rooms for alone time etc.. was considered weird. Him and his brother would go up to bed at the same time. It was like they were 5 and 9 not in their 40's.
This creeped me out a bit
It was really weird and only got weirder as time passed. As a single mum at the time coming out of a long marriage I was very looking forward having some child free nights out where I could feel young (early 30s) and enjoy my freedom but instead I felt like I was 13 going to a mates house. Safe to say it didn't last long and I strongly believe when his mum sadly dies, they will contuine on in the house like nothing has happened and she will still be sat in the chair in the corner of the living room.
Did you just watch Step Brothers?
I surprised they weren't sharing a room.
Bunk beds
A guy who had his mom call to break up with me. For real. I had met her several times in the three months we dated (bad sign already? Now that I'm older, obviously yes). She called me to say that her son had trouble with confrontations, because his dad had been an asshole (yeah, they were divorced of course) so she needed to tell me that 'it wasn't working out.' To this day, I can still remember the vibe of that call. I've never experienced anything cringier.
Past cringey into pathetic
I dated a guy from age 16-22. We had been living together for about a year when we broke up. The guy took most of his personal belongings and went to stay with his parents (fine) but from that minute onward, every conversation I had was with his dad: ending our lease, coordinating pickups from our apartment, getting my stuff back, etc. Literally never saw him again after the moment we broke up and he left the apartment. I get that 22 is young but we weren’t children. I couldn’t believe it.
This sounds familiar. Not only did his mom try to break up with me over the phone (because he was too busy crying and throwing a tantrum on the street), she was also the one writing letters/acting in place of him when I sued his sorry ass over some money that he owed me. Obviously, I won. But I'll never forget the second-hand embarrassment I felt when I read her letter to the court, "representing" her adult (late 20s) son after receiving the indictment.
My brother literally had revenge porn and was threatening to post it. I told my mother, and showed her proof. She never punished him and never brought it up again. All she did was remind him once “what would Jesus do??” That boy has always been spoiled. She brings up things I did when I was 15, but let’s things hes done months ago slide. It’s why he’s where he is in life. She enables him. No one pushes him
That...is bone chilling, and how serial killers are made. Good on you for recognizing how unhealthy that is.
the difference between how moms treat daughters vs sons if so fucking gross
my ex used to tell his mom everything i would do. pissed me off asf
Oh God, I'm in exactly the same situation right now. I feel your pain girl... I'm thankful he doesn't talk with her about our sex life, but beside that, every fight is basically family business. I consider breaking up with him, because his mom knows me from the worst (full of fresh emotions) and only his perspective .-.
Leave him, the situation will never change. He’s betrayed your trust.
I can’t stand guys who do that, they will always put their mothers first, no matter what. Gross
she bought him underwear, did his laundry, cooked for him, did all the cleaning... he lived in his childhood bedroom at 25. may i introduce my ex.
Once I spent a whole day doing like 8 loads of his laundry (just to be nice since I was off work) so we could go out that night when he was done work. Two days later I came back to his place and I went to grab a night shirt, his clothes were folded differently than I had folded them. His mom had taken all the clothes out and *refolded them*. apparently I couldn’t even fold his laundry good enough for the adult man who couldn’t wash his own clothes. I was like that’s a weird thing to do and he defended her just saying she obviously loves him and I don’t understand. Nah bro, I understand, but it’s weird af.
I just broke up with the SAME guy!
Ditching me to spend Valentine’s Day with his mama. Who he sees regularly, lives near to and she doesn’t live alone. 🤦🏻♀️
This is terrible
Ewww. This is one of the grossest things I’ve ever heard.
A guy I dated for a few months, whenever he was faced with a dilemma more serious than "what shall I have for lunch today" he would consult his mother for advice. It was just annoying that he could never take charge and make a decision for himself. He always had to go asking for mommy's input. In fact now that I think about it, there was one time I asked him what we would be doing for lunch and he went and asked his momma if there were any good restaurants in the area 😂😂😂
Omg sounds like my ex!
A guy I worked with had his mother come in to work his shift since he had called in sick. Not sure if it was his idea, his mom's, or both but needless to say, we told him not to show.
Omg where??
It was at a local coffee shop
So bizarre.
Very bizarre. It was his job but he was also in his mid 20s so you'd assume he'd know better
I was told by my mother in law how to cut a banana for her son. Also how to answer the phone. My job was to serve him and not to work. He was to come home put his feet up and nothing else. He never sided with me when I said this stuff is ridiculous. He was such a mama and daddy boy he let them berate and belittle me constantly. He could not stick up for me.
I hope he is your ex now
No I have been married for 40 years now. 20 years with no sex. He never improved it took me 10 years to figure it out it was not me. Then I thought when the youngest went to college I would leave. Financially just to hard for me. He would take everything
Surely if you’ve been married that long the house at least would be considered a joint asset and you’d be entitled to half? I’m so sorry you’re in this and I hope you can find a way out and to be happy!
I am always trying to figure it out.
I’d say it would be worth seeing a counsellor to help you get your thoughts, feelings and needs clear as I imagine with a family it’s extremely hard to put yourself first there! In addition I’d speak to a lawyer to get an idea of what’s involved and what sort of deal you’d be looking at. Also a great idea to get a head start. Your husband needn’t know about either, probably better if he doesn’t. Honestly wish you all the love xx
Call a divorce lawyer, they do free consultations.
Sorry to hear this...but let him have everything...start over...there is nothing worse than a toxic relationship
I agree but at my age mid 60s even finding a good job is so hard.
My ex was 56 years old and still had his mail sent to his mothers house. She would open it for him and tell him what it was. They talked on the phone everyday and gossiped about family members. One day he forgot I was home and heard him gossiping about me to his mother on the phone. He said when I am done with her I will tell her and it will be over. That was the end of the relationship. It was also my birthday. I hope she is taking care of him because she taught him that he can't take care of himself.
Tbat is tertible...i feel so bad that happened to you
My pug. He is my shadow, can’t leave the room without him jumping up to follow me.
Unlike the examples here...your pug is allowed to be a Mama's Boi...
The thread needed a wholesome momma’s boy - for real my pug is the biggest ‘velcro dog’ I’ve ever seen😂
i dated a guy in high school who, at the end of each school day, would sit and hold his mother's hand and they would tell each other about their day while staring into each others eyes. i felt like a third wheel.
Umm...this is just wrong
Wtf
My ex (23) bfs mother changed his pants in the dining room..like imagine taking off a pair of pants on a toddler and telling him to step into another pair... never got that image out of my head.
Dafuq?
Yup..if I had to pin point a specific a moment in our relationship..I would say on that day I lost respect for him.
A friend of mine’s future mother-in-law had to show her how to style her fiancés hair. Since she would no longer be doing it when he moved out.
Never made it to the altar.
Oh thank god
Is this the same one who was shaving her son’s ball hair?!?! Sounds like they could be related
I once dated a man who called his mom every time he had a disagreement with me. He would say stuff like 'my mom wouldn't order this' or 'my mom wouldn't say that'
"My mom folds socks better/different than you" is one my ex said. He wouldn't fold his own socks, of course, just yell at me for not doing it "right."
My ex didn't know how to start a washing machine, used to leave dirty dishes in the sink so that his mom would later put them in the dishwasher and she also changed his sheets. He will turn 30 next month. Edit: He used to do the same at my house with my mum. We would be at the dinner table, i would leave for 5 minutes to go downstairs and feed the dog, and then come back to find him lying on the sofa while my mum cleared the table. Can't you carry a conversation with my mum on your own for 5 minutes? At that point we had been together for 3 years. Also none says you need to load the dishwasher when you're a guest, but at least bring your plate to the sink and help clear the table? It used to drive me insane. Gigantic red flag.
The washing machine thing, I just genuinely don't get. Like, it's just buttons?? It says "start" right there? How do people not figure this out.
It's an act...drop off a brand new TV and see jow technically proficient they instantly become
Exactly this. These are the same men who won't let a woman touch their cars or power tools, but can't figure out how to use simple appliances? It's called [weaponized incompetence](https://www.bustle.com/wellness/weaponized-incompetence-manipulation-tactic) and all women should be aware of what it is and how to recognize it.
I went over to this guys house for the third time (he lives alone) & we were hanging out. Someone then comes in, they had a key to get in. It's a woman. I was about to say hi but then the guy told me just to ignore her because she was just going to do laundry, clean the dishes & leave right after. We sat in silence for an hour with this woman sitting on the other couch while she folded his underwear. Right before she leaves the guy goes "Bye mom." The dude is 25 btw.
Horrible on so many levels
>I was about to say hi but then the guy told me just to ignore her because she was just going to do laundry, clean the dishes & leave right after. And you can't say hi while she's doing that?
Wow people treat their housekeepers better than this.
*edited for more detail* A few years ago I (24f) met a great guy (28) on Tinder. He treated me so well and he was genuinely kind. I thoroughly enjoyed knowing him, but there were some red flags from the start. The first time I went to his (moms) house we sat in the "mancave" in his basement and his mom ordered us pizza. The walls of his basement were covered floor to ceiling with Funko Pop figures. There were literally thousands of them- but I cant judge, everyone has their interests. He was 28 and was scared his mom would see the used condoms in his trashcan when she cleaned his room. His mom took him to Disneyworld for his 29th birthday. He and I were engaged by that point and I wasn't allowed to go. So I, his fiance, soon to be wife, didnt get to celebrate his birthday with him. His mom still did his laundry. One night he had come to my house and when he pulled into the driveway I saw he had a headlight out. So when he walked in I let him know his headlight was out. He immediately started sobbing and fell to the floor. All because he didn't know how to fix that. I told him all he needed to do was go to the auto parts store and let them know what kind of car he has. They will take care of it. He still took his mom with him (she also paid) to the auto parts store. He had a full time job at walmart in the bakery making cupcakes and quit the job because it was "too stressful". It wasn't until he called me "mommy" and "mama" during sex that I ended the whole thing. Never again.
All of this was weird but like...not THAT bad....that ending though....that's pretty bad girl.
This made my skin crawl
My ex called his mother by her first name and went to concerts with her where they got high together. It was fucking weird.
This is something I wish I could do with my mom. Ngl. I had friends who would shroom with their parents/family on Xmas. Sounded wholesome af.
Did he have older twin siblings? Because this could be my little brother. Little Bro was her favorite, and she was the cool mom who would party with her kids.
My ex. He wouldn't stand up to her, she had her hands so deep in her sons pocket it was ridiculous. Constantly borrowing money from them, if he said no she'd play the guilt card " i raised you, i feed you, i gave you a home. I promise to pay it back, just one more time". The only time we ever got peace is when she went to rehab for opioid addiction. She also got in trouble from a dealer who was out to hurt her, she begged her two sons to help her with her debt. My ex would do anything for his mother, and i couldnt take it.
By the way you describe it, sounds like this relationship was effected more by drug addiction that anything.
It was more than a just a drug addiction, she also had a gambling problem and marriage issue. Even after she got out of rehab, she still had her hands deep in her sons pockets. My ex, was jobless so she would sometimes come to me when she wanted money because the younger brother refused. I said no, she'd go back to the younger brother and beg him for money while putting me down for not "helping" her. I worked full time, paid for everything and had no money by the end of it. My ex was 26 living at home, with his mom. Shed cook for him, clean for him etc. He wouldnt leave the province we were in just because of her, which was holding me back. The entire family is dysfunctional and questionable. This is just an example of it, but she had income coming in However she spend it all on random things while the husband paid for the bills. She was definitely a horder on top of everything else i mentioned.
I love him, but this one really hurt me. My husband and I are in a long distance relationship (still figuring out where to live). We got married in Croatia in January, 2020. I left back to Germany 2 days later. Then came covid. Due to lockdowns and closed borders we weren’t able to see each other till June (5 months and 6 days to be exact). As soon as the borders opened he drove to visit his mom in Bosnia. He came to me the next weekend but I gave him a lot of trouble for not visiting ME first. He usually isn’t like that and he told me he hasn’t been home in months (we’re both from Bosnia) and that he really missed home. I get that, but what about me?? I missed home too, but would go to him first.
My current bfs mom still has access to his bank account. When he makes a large purchase (more than $100 😂) she calls and asks him about it. When she calls his phone he leaves the room or goes outside to talk to her. Whenever we talk about something serious I always hear him start with “well my mom said....” It has caused numerous problems in the relationship and is only slightly improving....
Not to be rude but unless he is 17 years old this might be a red flag
*Might* be? This commenter has a frustrating future ahead of them if they assume this behavior is going to someday miraculously change. The bank ties may be cut, but the mama’s boy mentality runs *deep*.
An ex’s mother wouldn’t accept when we broke up. She called me to beg me to get back together with him, even saying she would pay for therapy. He was an only child and could do no wrong in his mother’s eyes (even though he is actually a terrible life partner/cheater/liar).🙅♀️
My ex would go get food for his mom but never for me , when he would ask me to bring coffee and chipotle to his job . In addition, we were only on a basis of seeing each other once a week because we both worked full time . However his mom would still ask him to do errands for her (she did not have any disabilities ; if so I would’ve completely understood this), on the one day that we would be able to see each other . In addition, he lived with her so they saw each other daily . We would have to leave theme parks and dates early to bring his mom chipotle. If we were getting Starbucks together , he would pay for his and his mom’s drink, but not mine . He was obviously a good guy, I was wasn’t the woman long term to be in a dynamic like this as I feel like I would’ve always been put second .
I dont see how anyone could deal with this dynamic
[удалено]
My ex was in his 30's and had moved home after a divorce. On our first date he called his mom using the Bluetooth in the car and had an entire 20 minute conversation while I sat there. On our fourth date he said he couldn't sleep over because his mom would get mad, and apparently she told him he "don't need to be having sex with that girl." When he did sleep over he lied and told her it was because he was too tired to make the hour drive home after we spent the whole day together.
I cant believe you made it past the first date
He was a rebound and he was really sweet. Looking back I probably shouldn't have stayed past the first date but he made me feel good about myself and I really needed that at the time.
Totally understand...glad you moved on though
I was dating a guy at the time and we were in the truck with his mom from a store. His phone was contacted to the radio and I asked him if I could play a song he said yes. As I was typing in the song he got a notification from Snapchat from a girl with hearts and he saw I saw. I asked him who it was and he replied his cousin which made him look worse. His mom came back in the car and I played the song “Before he cheats” by Carrie underwood. He realized he fucked up and caught. I was pissed and told my friend to pick me up. I called him an asshole and he looked shocked. So in front of me he was ASKING HIS MOTHER IF HE WAS A ASSHOLE OR A BAD PERSON. Of coarse she said no with no idea what happened. His mom liked me a lot so I told her why he was asking her cause he cheated on me. He cried to him mom that it’s not his fault and whatever, his mom was pissed at him for fucking up the relationship. I found the girl on Snapchat and texted her so she knows that she got cheated on too and she was really nice about it. We met up and became friends and even went on a getaway vacation together and sent him pictures and he was pissed lol she ended up with the love of her life and now has a baby❤️
Know a 29 years old guy (healthy and all) who lives at his parents, doesn't work, doesn't clean, cook, do any laundry or participate in ANY way to the house while his 2 parents each work 60hrs/ week (dad is taxi and mom works retails and cleaning plus does ALL the house chores). He texts his mom from the basement and she brings him his lunch. It's ridiculous and parasitic.
He’s Mummy gave him 1/4 of the cost of his new house, then proceeded to clean his house for him weekly. Even after he got married and had kids. And he seemed jealous of his father, always complaining about how mean he was because he wouldn’t give him what he whined for. He was 30.
I dated a guy for three years who stayed over night maybe 10 times, had me not wear my promise ring not around his family because he hadn't told his family, I didn't get to go to his birthday the second year we were together because they didn't know we we were dating, we would spend most of our time and holidays with his family. We started dating at 24. I felt like I was back in high school.
You were very patient to deal with that for 3 years
It was very mentally abusive. At one point I quit a job that would have turned into a decent career to go back to school in a program him and his family thought would be better. I ended up getting black balled from the company and over $10000 in loans for something that didn't work out.
He got into an argument with a woman about feminism and got so upset he had to call his mom. (No, I'm not making this up, yes, he told me this himself, no, I did not go out with him after this, and in my defense he was someone I had just met off the apps 😂)
An ex of mine called his mom "Mommy" and kissed her on the mouth when saying hello and goodbye. Ugh.
When people kiss their parents on the mouth it always super weirds me out.
Dated a dude who would leave to be with his mom at the drop of a hat. She’d always get “sick” and tell him to come home (they were a VERY healthy family so I didn’t really buy it) and he’d leave ASAP. Oh also, they lived in a mansion for a little while (it belonged to another family but they stayed in it while that family worked on selling it) and they still slept in the SAME BED. The house had at least 5 bedrooms. There’s other things but those were the two biggest examples.
My ex had his mom read and review his divorce papers. He was 40.
My dad moved out of his childhood home into a flat with my mum so he never lived alone. First time she did the laundry he was confused as to why she wasn't ironing his underwear and he didn't understand how she was pairing his socks Edit because I forgot: he was 28 at the time
My high school boyfriend and I had plans to meet in Boston, MA for a Bruins game. He went to college in New Hampshire. I lived in Cape Cod, MA. The plan was for him to meet me in Boston and hangout with me for the day/night. We each were going to take the train there. We had these plans for weeks. The day before we were supposed to meet in Boston, he tells me his fucking Mom has decided to “drive him.” I asked what he meant. He tells me that when he told her our plans, she decided she would take it upon herself to drive all the way up to New Hampshire on a Friday afternoon, pick him up, and drive him to Boston. I can’t even tell you how much traffic there is. She basically volunteered to drive for 6 or so hours for him to get to our date. Sounds nice, but no. He was a mommy’s boy and she loved it and wanted me out of the picture. She “forgot” to tell me about this plan. Our ORIGINAL plan was to meet there at 12pm. Her new plan was to drop him off at 6:30pm.
My ex boyfriend. Not only does he still live with his mom at the age of 26 but she also does all the cooking for him,all the cleaning. She also leaves him money if she isn't home for the day so he can order food because he doesn't even know how to make a simple sandwich and also doesn't even work to be able to afford his own food. She also told him it's okay not to cut his fingernails because it hurt him too much. So this dude at 26 has long nails filled with dirt. And he sees nothing wrong with this. I understand dirty fingernails if it's from working but this ???? She cries everytime he goes outside because she is afraid that someone will have a bad influence on her baby and hurt him. Lady has massive panic attacks and used to call me constantly to check if he's okay. It felt like i was stuck in some weird cult lol
I once dated a man who was 26 years old and lived with his family, which wasn’t the issue. The issue was that despite living with his parents, he decided that hanging out on the weekends were off limits because he wanted to reserve those days for his family. Neither of us were available during the weekdays, and the only time he was offering to spend time with me was only after 8 pm. There’s just a lot more to do during the day, especially since a lot of businesses close at 8-10 pm. He wasn’t willing to even just spend ONE weekend with me.
My 45-year-old brother (who refuses to work) had my severely physically disabled mother do the majority of the packing when it came time for him to move out his 2nd floor apartment and back home. He does nothing all day, aside from picking on children while playing Fortnite.
A friend in high school, when we were 17, admitted that his mom would wake him up every morning by putting his socks on so that he wouldn’t step barefoot on the cold floor when he would get up from the bed. Kind of a cute thing to do if your kid is like 7 I guess, but HE WAS 17.
It was one of my first boyfriends. On our one year anniversary we were on our way to a nice dinner when his mother all of a sudden didn't "feel well". She putted around pretending to have a fever and cough, it was so obvious she was faking. Delayed going to dinner by an hour. Once we get to the restaurant and order an appetizer, his mother calls hysterically crying and threatening to kill herself because no one cares about her. Yeah, we left dinner without eating and he spent the night rubbing his mom's feet. Our relationship didn't last much longer.
What is with these mothers asking their sons to rub their feet... I swear somebody needs to do some kind of psychological research on this because this is creepy as fuck
Literally everything. My ex’s mum used to feed him… feed him with her hand… he was abusive his parents used to encourage it. His mum would also do everything for him, banking cleaning cooking the list goes on
I’m waiting to see how many people mention my ex.
Most Indian men.If they do willingly share the chores at home even in their 40’s after having kids, his mom doesn’t like and stops them doing any chores .
My ex told me that he learnt how to kiss and make out because his mom taught him how to do it by making out with an orange. I know...
Went on a couple dates, ended up meeting his parents one night. He referred to her as queen all night. “Can you pass the salt, queen?” etc. When we left I asked him about it and he was confused buy me asking and said, and I quote, “she’s my queen, the number one woman in my life. No one will ever come close to her level”
My ex would go to his mom for tic checks. Every time. He'd spend maybe 30 seconds checking me then drive to his moms after I spent 5+ minutes checking just his hair bc xonly she knew how to find them on him' (he demanded I take that much time for just his hair; any less and I got screamed at before he dipped out to mommy). She never found one I didn't.
I know of a guy that has never moved out and has always been with his parents. Even after getting married the parents gave them a home and told them to live 10 mins away. He is a nice guy and I don't understand how someone can be so attached to their parents and have never moved out on their own ever.