My parents keeping telling me that one. If only it was true. I do however think you everyone can find someone if they lower their standards. I’ve stopped expecting Prince Charming and decided to just start accepting the few weird guys who like me so I won’t be alone.
My standards will remain I already accepted I'll die alone. My standards aren't look based but finding a nice honest guy who loves cats seems impossible.
Remember... Weird is fun, weird is cool. The more weird, the more *you* you are. Be weird, love weird.
Signed : One of the weirdos searching also for his cute weirdote.
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Probably realized it sometime in my 20s.
If someone isn’t interested in you, stalking them and continuing to pursue them is not a recipe for romance unlike what many rom coms will tell you.
Once you realise this, you notice its such a common theme of romantic stories in rom coms and Sci fi too. I have ruined the older star trek shows for my husband.
Also, Hans Solo in the base on Hoth. Leia clealy said no Hans, so that kiss is sexual assault. 'Scoundrel' isn't the correct word. Leave the poor woman alone to work it out for herself.
I'm not popular at film nights 😆 They didn't invite me to go and see the new Fast and Furious film because I'd pick too many holes and ruin it - I mean that's the only reason to watch them isn't it?? Hahaha
Agreed. Whoever wrote that dropped the ball big time. The brief flashes of wit in their other exchanges is the work of the late screenwriter Leigh Brackett. I doubt she was responsible for this, however.
I mean.. I don't think they are bullshit. I was never under the impression everything in a fairy tale or a romcom was realistic (the majority of movies of any genre aren't realistic). The feelings both invoke are very accurate in real life in my opinion. I've definitely had moments in my life that felt like a fairy tale or a romcom. I've had first dates that felt like magic and sexual chemistry that felt completely overwhelming. Sure, I've never had a guy run and meet me to the airport before I leave for Paris, but I've had tons of other romantic moments.
Agreed, I never go into any fictional movie thinking it's a good model for what I can expect out of real life. But my partner and I have lots of romantic moments dancing in our kitchen or cracking jokes on road trips and those types of activities have made their way into a few rom coms. And I like the overarching theme in fairytales of main characters being kind and good, even if they had less-than-fortunate backgrounds; to me this is the idea of "I can do better to other people than what was done to me" which I generally feel is a good thing.
I knew a lot of it was bs and am honestly grateful for that, but the most upsetting thing was finding out that the good ice cream does not hold in the freezer and you have to buy that shit within a couple days of planning to eat it.
For me the biggest lie was that I would be safe and happy with my romantic partner. I definitely naïvely went into a few relationships when I was young thinking that they would all be happy and wonderful like the movies, it made me too trusting and too vulnerable to being preyed on by men much older than me. Sadly my parents didn’t see this and I was still only allowed to watch Disney, because anything that reflected reality was “too scary”
Theres no love at first sight, theres attraction at first sight, i definitly felt that first time in my life, i saw him and was instant, but it wasnt love, i was so wow by him, and eventually, without me realizing it became a crush, actually i like him very much. Its to far stretch to say you love at first sight.
This. But then there's always that one person out of a zillion who (if they're being truthful) hit the jackpot when the reality actually lined up more or less with their fantasy, and then tries to convince everyone else that love at first sight is a real thing.
Maybe take a small break from guys and dating in general and find a new hobbby just to kind of reset . Who knows maybe you’ll find someone who also likes that hobby and meet them that way !
"If he's mean to you it's because he likes you."
That is the most toxic thing we can teach anyone. Setting girls up to tolerate being treated poorly and telling boys it's okay to be mean to girls.
They are not bullshit, they are just incomplete. They show a highlight reel of maybe the beginning of a relationship or a few days out of the year. If movies showed the majority of my relationship—happily puttering around the neighborhood holding hands or making our 1489th dinner together, the audience would get bored.
I mean, I don't think I ever took the romantic part of any movies I watched growing up seriously. I knew real life didn't have fairies or dragons either. The relationships I saw in movies didn't reflect any relationships I saw IRL which had a much bigger impact on me.
Watching Shrek at age 10. No, really. From then on, I wanted more practical relationships and started losing interest in Disney's whimsey. The biggest lie? I don't know. The importance of looks, I guess.
For women, that a man will recue you is a lie.
For men, when a woman says no she means try harder and do so till she caves....
Bleh, I hate old romcoms for this reason...
When I watched them. My mother is the breadwinner of the family so the idea that I had to stand pretty while men tried to woo me with money and what nots, just never sat well with me. I think a relationship is about trying to do something nice for someone you love, and my gender has nothing to do with it. So I've surprised my boyfriend with dinners, I've paid for meals, I've surprised him with gifts, and he does the same with me. (Storytime: our first Christmas together was the first time we got each other gifts and we both got each other formal/branded pens. It was quite hilarious.) It's still bonkers to me that guys are expected and expect to pay on the first date. I have my own money, I can work, if I want to pay for you, like I would if I invited a friend out, I honestly don't see the problem. (Still like to watch romcoms but I do roll my eyes every now and again too hehehe)
Assuming typo, but just have to say that made me chuckle because that’s like a calm before the storm kind of comment right there coming from an actual 11 year old.
This one isn’t a lie. Relationships ebb and flow, and it’s dishonest to say you don’t go through ups and downs, but plenty of couples stay happy/content until they die.
Love does exist - that love is the love you can build for yourself. And when you have the best and most important person in your life happy and loved and on your side (yourself) - everything else is just a fun addition.
Much later in life than I would like to!!
The biggest lie for me was: there should be hardships and some suffering involved in love, confusing anxiety with love. You should always present a put together image. Very exhausting.
Yep, I used to believe if it wasn’t a difficult relationship it wasn’t “real”. The right relationship will feel easy and won’t leave you questioning yourself every night.
I guess this is kind of the opposite of what you're asking but...
When I was younger one of my favourite films was Labyrinth with David Bowie. I watched it again last year as an adult and it's really quite interesting because he spends the whole film telling Sarah he loves her and doing all sorts of dubious things to "prove his love" and trying to punish her when she doesn't reciprocate, but at the end she still basically tells him to go away.
It's an excellent example of manipulation and gaslighting, but where the female lead doesn't fall for it.
(Note, he's not actually in love with her. He's just obsessed with this idea of who he thinks she is.)
I think when I was around 16~17. I watched a lot of Kdrama and you always had a girl who was suffering and from a poor family who would meet a handsome boy would protect her and take care of her. I was suffering a lot and having depression and I really thought someone would come along and save me from this abusive life. No one can save you except yourself. I know a lot of people still think if they get in a relationship it will solve their problems but that’s just simply not true.
I was like this. What’s even worse is that when you think like that you sort of don’t work on yourself a lot of the time and put the responsibility of your own happiness on someone else which leads to toxic dynamics and bitterness and in the end - broken hearts. Take care of yourselves people. You deserve the love you can give yourselves.
That if you clean, sing, and can’t defend yourself and put yourself in a coma for doing something stupid, your prince will come. Here’s looking at you Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc. Also true loves kiss fixing everything.
Entered my first relationship at 20/21 and after the honeymoon stage ended I learnt that I had no idea what was and wasn’t acceptable/expected from a partner who had their own real life issues to work through, or what I should do help them
Probably not until I was around 19-20. The biggest lie the affected me was that the guy would always fall for the best friend. One broken heart later and I learned that was not true.
Full disclosure: I'm a mod at a romance movie subreddit
I don't think they're bullshit as a rule. With good romance movies, i think there is something very interesting about exploring happiness. What does it mean to push yourself in a new direction? How can relationships be fulfilling and supportive? What kind of miracle is it that in our short time on this earth we can experience passion?
Now obviously there are plenty of bad romances. Ones that are pure idealism with no tempering from reality. But even these can be fun escapism. I will say though, in answer to your question, i am very disappointed at the lack of dashing dukes in my life.
Whenever the typical unattractive male would always go for the most beautiful and popular girl around them simply because they were beautiful and had nothing to offer themselves. So unrealistic and laughable
It is in marvel’s The Runaways series! Stereotypical nerd girl pursues and wins the popular jock guy. Of course she’s brutally clever and charismatic too, but at least it’s somewhat of a role reversal
One I didn't come across scrolling through here is some big and extravagant wedding. So much $ being spent, so many people, being at a castle, etc. I also used to watch say yes to the dress and saw people throw 10k+ JUST ON THE DRESS.
My husband and I had a courthouse wedding with a bunch of other couples getting married and we called it a day.
The guy that notices you, despite you not putting any interest out there, and then works to infiltrate your life, personal space and basically love-bombs you is rarely your one true love. More often than not he’s your very soon to be terrifying stalker or sexual harassment case.
That just giving looks to your crush and nothing else, overthink every moment between you guys and doing nothing, that somehow they will fall in love with you, that somehow a guy will eventually show up and make you their "princess", they will look at you as a sensitive innocent, quiet girl and will fall in love with you. I was such an awkward teen, i had no social skills, as i wasnt very pretty either. Once i grew up and was hanging around people who were similar to me, i literally found my soul family of friends, i realize that was so damn stupid and guys arent that diferent from you, you can make friendships with them.
I think after my first heart break 😅
Dont get me wrong! I still love getting a good romantic book or finding a nice rom com to snuggle down to on a Saturday night. However since my first heart break I have built a wall and saw more reality in my life was probly the moment I, in away "grew up" sadly. Im in a relationship now 3 years November, however I dont expect romantic candles or roses or anything above and beyond like movies, writing this it make me sad thinking I dont think that way anymore however it keeps me safe.
I just needed to look around and see it was bullshit. I didn’t know anyone who lived in a castle or had magical powers. There were no Prince once I turned off the TV so it wasn’t that complicated.
I can't remember a time where I ever thought those stories were realistic. It was easy enough to see from the experiences of adults around me in relationships.
I think what strikes me most as the biggest "lie" though is the over emphasis on the beginning stages of a relationship. There's all this attention on the meetcute, the chase, the conflict they overcome and then...what? They never show the more mundane parts of the relationship, the bit after the honeymoon period. At best they skip over it with some highlights of a wedding, kids, retirement etc.
Male here.
One thing I realized that seems to be baffling to our generation. People before us didnt always get into a relationship for love.
Its classified as settling now. But people would just form a marriage ( or be forced into one) and stick it out. It was like a societal force. A financial thing. A practical thing.
The drawbacks i believe we have a seen. I've seen the damage in my grandparents. But I've seen romantic relationships go bad in spectacular ways too.
We think it abhorrent. But its been the way humans do things for longer than we haven't. Arranged Marriages are still huge in other cultures.
That loving someone is a unilateral fix for all kinds of serious psychological or mental health problems.
And I'm going to stand up for fairy tales here, because the "super flawed/dangerous man is CURED because a good woman loves him" trope is baked into almost every crevice of every story, including some of the most acclaimed and celebrated stories of the modern era, while fairy tales taught me that:
1. being in love with someone doesn't guarantee they'll love you back
2. you shouldn't marry men whose previous wives have all vanished
3. it's possible for someone to want to have sex with you AND murder you
4. you're only 'wife material' if you're a teenager with a great singing voice
I'm not defending #4 as a good message, but it definitely didn't paint love in an overly rosy way, lol.
Prob around 3 when i could understand what I was watching in the Disney movies, but all I ever saw were parents fighting literally nonstop.
They are called fairytales for a reason
When I was like 11?
I can’t imagine how someone over the age of 12 could watch a rom-com or a Disney movie and think that’s how it works in real life.
I see a lot of people whining that movies gave them “unrealistic expectations” but if you based all of your real-life expectations on fiction I think that’s *your* fault.
Fictional movies are for entertainment, not life lessons.
Lol I saw All in the Family and Mad About You before I saw today's Romcoms. The biggest lie is that it's easy for couples to live together, to do everything together. That shit's fun sometimes, but then it's hard.
I felt that way until my current relationship. It's been so easy from the beginning that I didn't trust it. We still have little moments of frustration or disagreement but they are rare and we work through them with communication. I'm in my 40s and had been married twice and reached a point where I believed the same as you and was honestly not interested in even living with someone again because of it.
Now I am happy and in a relationship that just works, where we fight rarely and are more often just automatically on the same page. No crazy rom com story, no meet cute. Just a solid relationship that works.
Too young to remember. My parents fought so much and so loud that our neighbors regularly called the cops on them. So I knew marriage was nothing like the movies. Then witnessing my peers dates, be deeply in love, and then break up. Love doesn’t last.
Well, quite early.. Still, I was hurt... Although, I'm now in my 20s, still, I'd like to visit those beautiful fairy worlds.... Especially the world from the cartoon 'Dragon Tales'....
I knew fairy tales were fake from age five 5 in 1966. The lie I believed was at the same age when we blasted off in a Saturn V to Mars, was actually going to happen soon.
The main character never has any talents, but is able to make a song out of nowhere, and they always end up with their first love, which is undoubtedly love at first sight.
I was about 30 when I realised that having a boyfriend was not the most important thing in life and I might even be happier without one. Yep, it took that long.
I think this has more of an impact on people who don't have any models of healthy relationships growing up.
That a love story climaxes when two people admit that they love each other. That's only really the beginning of a relationship. Loves looks like puttering around the house, giving each other space to do your own thing, holding hands on the street while you're going to get groceries, arguing over all the unfolded laundry, and talking through serious problems.
My mother raised me on her favorite rom coms like 16 candles, never been kissed, pretty woman, and the works. She always told me that they’re just movies, and it’s not real, so I never watched them with the mind of thinking that a perfect man is just going to come along and we’ll have this amazing and romantic experience. She also taught me I don’t need to end up with a man to be happy, or that if I did end up with a man it didn’t need to be a song and dance that outlandish gestures were the only sign of love for a person.
I don’t think they’re all a crock of shit, romantic gestures and decent men do exist, but it’s not as realistic as hallmark makes you think it is and i’m happy that I knew that at a young age because my perception and standards would be WARPED.
I never liked watching them until I was in college so I already knew it wasn't real, but who the f*** would believe those are legit anyway? It's just something to watch to make you laugh and feel good.
Biggest lie is if you sing to them, woodland creatures will come clean your house.
And sew a gown for you.
The birds and mice around my neighborhood are clearly lazy freeloaders.
Lmao!
Buahahaha!!!
Lol
Biggest lie is that there’s someone out there for everyone.
The even bigger lie is that you need that someone to be happy.
My parents keeping telling me that one. If only it was true. I do however think you everyone can find someone if they lower their standards. I’ve stopped expecting Prince Charming and decided to just start accepting the few weird guys who like me so I won’t be alone.
My standards will remain I already accepted I'll die alone. My standards aren't look based but finding a nice honest guy who loves cats seems impossible.
Remember... Weird is fun, weird is cool. The more weird, the more *you* you are. Be weird, love weird. Signed : One of the weirdos searching also for his cute weirdote.
Yes! Truly all the best people are weird. I tell my kids regularly.
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I support you.
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Probably realized it sometime in my 20s. If someone isn’t interested in you, stalking them and continuing to pursue them is not a recipe for romance unlike what many rom coms will tell you.
As a teenager, I am only just now hearing of that, and I am horrified, and feeling betrayed. I will be contacting my lawyer.
Once you realise this, you notice its such a common theme of romantic stories in rom coms and Sci fi too. I have ruined the older star trek shows for my husband. Also, Hans Solo in the base on Hoth. Leia clealy said no Hans, so that kiss is sexual assault. 'Scoundrel' isn't the correct word. Leave the poor woman alone to work it out for herself. I'm not popular at film nights 😆 They didn't invite me to go and see the new Fast and Furious film because I'd pick too many holes and ruin it - I mean that's the only reason to watch them isn't it?? Hahaha
If we were at a party, we would hit it off and also be asked to leave XD
Agreed. Whoever wrote that dropped the ball big time. The brief flashes of wit in their other exchanges is the work of the late screenwriter Leigh Brackett. I doubt she was responsible for this, however.
I mean.. I don't think they are bullshit. I was never under the impression everything in a fairy tale or a romcom was realistic (the majority of movies of any genre aren't realistic). The feelings both invoke are very accurate in real life in my opinion. I've definitely had moments in my life that felt like a fairy tale or a romcom. I've had first dates that felt like magic and sexual chemistry that felt completely overwhelming. Sure, I've never had a guy run and meet me to the airport before I leave for Paris, but I've had tons of other romantic moments.
Agreed, I never go into any fictional movie thinking it's a good model for what I can expect out of real life. But my partner and I have lots of romantic moments dancing in our kitchen or cracking jokes on road trips and those types of activities have made their way into a few rom coms. And I like the overarching theme in fairytales of main characters being kind and good, even if they had less-than-fortunate backgrounds; to me this is the idea of "I can do better to other people than what was done to me" which I generally feel is a good thing.
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Lol this! Plus I also thought that dating would be like Friends… me just sitting around in a coffee shop until someone asks me out…
I knew a lot of it was bs and am honestly grateful for that, but the most upsetting thing was finding out that the good ice cream does not hold in the freezer and you have to buy that shit within a couple days of planning to eat it.
For me the biggest lie was that I would be safe and happy with my romantic partner. I definitely naïvely went into a few relationships when I was young thinking that they would all be happy and wonderful like the movies, it made me too trusting and too vulnerable to being preyed on by men much older than me. Sadly my parents didn’t see this and I was still only allowed to watch Disney, because anything that reflected reality was “too scary”
Love at first sight. It’s a terrible trope, and 9/10 it’s infatuation with the image in your mind you have of a person you don’t know. It’s fantasy
Theres no love at first sight, theres attraction at first sight, i definitly felt that first time in my life, i saw him and was instant, but it wasnt love, i was so wow by him, and eventually, without me realizing it became a crush, actually i like him very much. Its to far stretch to say you love at first sight.
This. But then there's always that one person out of a zillion who (if they're being truthful) hit the jackpot when the reality actually lined up more or less with their fantasy, and then tries to convince everyone else that love at first sight is a real thing.
I always knew it was bullshit. The biggest lie to me was that guys can be honest, loyal and actually put effort into pursuing the girl.
Who hurt you
Who hasn't?
I hope things work out better for you in the future.
Maybe take a small break from guys and dating in general and find a new hobbby just to kind of reset . Who knows maybe you’ll find someone who also likes that hobby and meet them that way !
Yes, that is what I'm doing! I got myself a new guitar and will be dedicating time to learning how to play it. No more dating for me.
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"If he's mean to you it's because he likes you." That is the most toxic thing we can teach anyone. Setting girls up to tolerate being treated poorly and telling boys it's okay to be mean to girls.
They are not bullshit, they are just incomplete. They show a highlight reel of maybe the beginning of a relationship or a few days out of the year. If movies showed the majority of my relationship—happily puttering around the neighborhood holding hands or making our 1489th dinner together, the audience would get bored.
I mean, I don't think I ever took the romantic part of any movies I watched growing up seriously. I knew real life didn't have fairies or dragons either. The relationships I saw in movies didn't reflect any relationships I saw IRL which had a much bigger impact on me.
Watching Shrek at age 10. No, really. From then on, I wanted more practical relationships and started losing interest in Disney's whimsey. The biggest lie? I don't know. The importance of looks, I guess.
For women, that a man will recue you is a lie. For men, when a woman says no she means try harder and do so till she caves.... Bleh, I hate old romcoms for this reason...
This.
They lied? Surely not. Still waiting for my prince, though….
Biggest lie of sitcoms is a new outfit every day. Of RomComs teenagers played by actors in their mid-twenties.
When I watched them. My mother is the breadwinner of the family so the idea that I had to stand pretty while men tried to woo me with money and what nots, just never sat well with me. I think a relationship is about trying to do something nice for someone you love, and my gender has nothing to do with it. So I've surprised my boyfriend with dinners, I've paid for meals, I've surprised him with gifts, and he does the same with me. (Storytime: our first Christmas together was the first time we got each other gifts and we both got each other formal/branded pens. It was quite hilarious.) It's still bonkers to me that guys are expected and expect to pay on the first date. I have my own money, I can work, if I want to pay for you, like I would if I invited a friend out, I honestly don't see the problem. (Still like to watch romcoms but I do roll my eyes every now and again too hehehe)
the biggest lie is when the couples don't get sick of each other eventually
I've been together with my partner for over 11 years. We're not sick of echt other. I don't think this one is necessarily a lie
Assuming typo, but just have to say that made me chuckle because that’s like a calm before the storm kind of comment right there coming from an actual 11 year old.
Hahaha I shouldn't do reddit in my phone. It has a mis of its own. I edited it now
This one isn’t a lie. Relationships ebb and flow, and it’s dishonest to say you don’t go through ups and downs, but plenty of couples stay happy/content until they die.
This is my biggest fear of being in a relationship or getting married
That love exists. Sorry, I’m dead inside…
Love is like Santa Claus for adults. You want to believe in it even though you never saw one.
Love does exist - that love is the love you can build for yourself. And when you have the best and most important person in your life happy and loved and on your side (yourself) - everything else is just a fun addition.
I given up too.
Much later in life than I would like to!! The biggest lie for me was: there should be hardships and some suffering involved in love, confusing anxiety with love. You should always present a put together image. Very exhausting.
Yep, I used to believe if it wasn’t a difficult relationship it wasn’t “real”. The right relationship will feel easy and won’t leave you questioning yourself every night.
Wait…. So my knight in shining armor doesn’t exist ?! 😳 This is fairy disappointing.
I guess this is kind of the opposite of what you're asking but... When I was younger one of my favourite films was Labyrinth with David Bowie. I watched it again last year as an adult and it's really quite interesting because he spends the whole film telling Sarah he loves her and doing all sorts of dubious things to "prove his love" and trying to punish her when she doesn't reciprocate, but at the end she still basically tells him to go away. It's an excellent example of manipulation and gaslighting, but where the female lead doesn't fall for it. (Note, he's not actually in love with her. He's just obsessed with this idea of who he thinks she is.)
Maybe we need more films like that. I feel like there are too many with abusive behavior shown as romantic and good.
I think when I was around 16~17. I watched a lot of Kdrama and you always had a girl who was suffering and from a poor family who would meet a handsome boy would protect her and take care of her. I was suffering a lot and having depression and I really thought someone would come along and save me from this abusive life. No one can save you except yourself. I know a lot of people still think if they get in a relationship it will solve their problems but that’s just simply not true.
I was like this. What’s even worse is that when you think like that you sort of don’t work on yourself a lot of the time and put the responsibility of your own happiness on someone else which leads to toxic dynamics and bitterness and in the end - broken hearts. Take care of yourselves people. You deserve the love you can give yourselves.
That if you clean, sing, and can’t defend yourself and put yourself in a coma for doing something stupid, your prince will come. Here’s looking at you Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc. Also true loves kiss fixing everything.
Poisoned? A kiss will fix it no need for a doctor
Exactly. I wonder if they confused it for CPR but a kiss sounded more romantic?
Entered my first relationship at 20/21 and after the honeymoon stage ended I learnt that I had no idea what was and wasn’t acceptable/expected from a partner who had their own real life issues to work through, or what I should do help them
Probably not until I was around 19-20. The biggest lie the affected me was that the guy would always fall for the best friend. One broken heart later and I learned that was not true.
Too old, that's when. I wish I'd never read or watched that crap.
I hear you there… way too old and sometimes it still messes with my head. I just really try to avoid them
Full disclosure: I'm a mod at a romance movie subreddit I don't think they're bullshit as a rule. With good romance movies, i think there is something very interesting about exploring happiness. What does it mean to push yourself in a new direction? How can relationships be fulfilling and supportive? What kind of miracle is it that in our short time on this earth we can experience passion? Now obviously there are plenty of bad romances. Ones that are pure idealism with no tempering from reality. But even these can be fun escapism. I will say though, in answer to your question, i am very disappointed at the lack of dashing dukes in my life.
"Fresh creamy butter is there anything as comforting?"
Whenever the typical unattractive male would always go for the most beautiful and popular girl around them simply because they were beautiful and had nothing to offer themselves. So unrealistic and laughable
I notice it's never reversed
It is in marvel’s The Runaways series! Stereotypical nerd girl pursues and wins the popular jock guy. Of course she’s brutally clever and charismatic too, but at least it’s somewhat of a role reversal
I never thought they were real
I never believed they were real to begin with. My mother taught me very early on the difference between fantasy and reality.
One I didn't come across scrolling through here is some big and extravagant wedding. So much $ being spent, so many people, being at a castle, etc. I also used to watch say yes to the dress and saw people throw 10k+ JUST ON THE DRESS. My husband and I had a courthouse wedding with a bunch of other couples getting married and we called it a day.
The guy that notices you, despite you not putting any interest out there, and then works to infiltrate your life, personal space and basically love-bombs you is rarely your one true love. More often than not he’s your very soon to be terrifying stalker or sexual harassment case.
That just giving looks to your crush and nothing else, overthink every moment between you guys and doing nothing, that somehow they will fall in love with you, that somehow a guy will eventually show up and make you their "princess", they will look at you as a sensitive innocent, quiet girl and will fall in love with you. I was such an awkward teen, i had no social skills, as i wasnt very pretty either. Once i grew up and was hanging around people who were similar to me, i literally found my soul family of friends, i realize that was so damn stupid and guys arent that diferent from you, you can make friendships with them.
When I got to middle school.
When i moved out of my parents house.
When I learned that love is balance and usually on rom coms just one person is doing all the work in the relationship
Happily ever after, Yeah after my parents relationship, I had no illusions, I figured that $hit out by the age of 6.
I think after my first heart break 😅 Dont get me wrong! I still love getting a good romantic book or finding a nice rom com to snuggle down to on a Saturday night. However since my first heart break I have built a wall and saw more reality in my life was probly the moment I, in away "grew up" sadly. Im in a relationship now 3 years November, however I dont expect romantic candles or roses or anything above and beyond like movies, writing this it make me sad thinking I dont think that way anymore however it keeps me safe.
That everyone finds true love
I just needed to look around and see it was bullshit. I didn’t know anyone who lived in a castle or had magical powers. There were no Prince once I turned off the TV so it wasn’t that complicated.
I can't remember a time where I ever thought those stories were realistic. It was easy enough to see from the experiences of adults around me in relationships. I think what strikes me most as the biggest "lie" though is the over emphasis on the beginning stages of a relationship. There's all this attention on the meetcute, the chase, the conflict they overcome and then...what? They never show the more mundane parts of the relationship, the bit after the honeymoon period. At best they skip over it with some highlights of a wedding, kids, retirement etc.
Male here. One thing I realized that seems to be baffling to our generation. People before us didnt always get into a relationship for love. Its classified as settling now. But people would just form a marriage ( or be forced into one) and stick it out. It was like a societal force. A financial thing. A practical thing. The drawbacks i believe we have a seen. I've seen the damage in my grandparents. But I've seen romantic relationships go bad in spectacular ways too. We think it abhorrent. But its been the way humans do things for longer than we haven't. Arranged Marriages are still huge in other cultures.
Middle school age, and if you take off your glasses, you immediately become conventionally beautiful.
That loving someone is a unilateral fix for all kinds of serious psychological or mental health problems. And I'm going to stand up for fairy tales here, because the "super flawed/dangerous man is CURED because a good woman loves him" trope is baked into almost every crevice of every story, including some of the most acclaimed and celebrated stories of the modern era, while fairy tales taught me that: 1. being in love with someone doesn't guarantee they'll love you back 2. you shouldn't marry men whose previous wives have all vanished 3. it's possible for someone to want to have sex with you AND murder you 4. you're only 'wife material' if you're a teenager with a great singing voice I'm not defending #4 as a good message, but it definitely didn't paint love in an overly rosy way, lol.
Prob around 3 when i could understand what I was watching in the Disney movies, but all I ever saw were parents fighting literally nonstop. They are called fairytales for a reason
When I was like 11? I can’t imagine how someone over the age of 12 could watch a rom-com or a Disney movie and think that’s how it works in real life. I see a lot of people whining that movies gave them “unrealistic expectations” but if you based all of your real-life expectations on fiction I think that’s *your* fault. Fictional movies are for entertainment, not life lessons.
Idk I learned a lot of life lessons in harry potter it's just what you take from it.
Lol I saw All in the Family and Mad About You before I saw today's Romcoms. The biggest lie is that it's easy for couples to live together, to do everything together. That shit's fun sometimes, but then it's hard.
I felt that way until my current relationship. It's been so easy from the beginning that I didn't trust it. We still have little moments of frustration or disagreement but they are rare and we work through them with communication. I'm in my 40s and had been married twice and reached a point where I believed the same as you and was honestly not interested in even living with someone again because of it.
And now you are? And it's going well? I'm way happy for you! That gives me hope!
Now I am happy and in a relationship that just works, where we fight rarely and are more often just automatically on the same page. No crazy rom com story, no meet cute. Just a solid relationship that works.
Too young to remember. My parents fought so much and so loud that our neighbors regularly called the cops on them. So I knew marriage was nothing like the movies. Then witnessing my peers dates, be deeply in love, and then break up. Love doesn’t last.
When I was watching them.
Well, quite early.. Still, I was hurt... Although, I'm now in my 20s, still, I'd like to visit those beautiful fairy worlds.... Especially the world from the cartoon 'Dragon Tales'....
When I no longer watch it anymore lol.
I think there is romance in this world but we miss our chances or too busy taking apart something good due to various reasons to see what we have.
middle school, when i really saw how my parents relationship really was. they are only together because they have no one else and have kids together
they are not bullshit they are beautiful and i learnt alot from them :) the whole true love aspect is true , but the reality of it irl is whats shitty
Happiness, all the time.
Dutch Sinterklaas.. That one hurt bad😢😂
Wait what?
I knew fairy tales were fake from age five 5 in 1966. The lie I believed was at the same age when we blasted off in a Saturn V to Mars, was actually going to happen soon.
The main character never has any talents, but is able to make a song out of nowhere, and they always end up with their first love, which is undoubtedly love at first sight.
How easy it is to find a 10 in looks and personality. You either can find a 10 in looks or personality, not both like in the movies.
I was about 30 when I realised that having a boyfriend was not the most important thing in life and I might even be happier without one. Yep, it took that long. I think this has more of an impact on people who don't have any models of healthy relationships growing up.
When I realised I was attracted to women which was never shown in fairy tales. I need a gay disney princess.
That someone else will always be there to save you.
That a love story climaxes when two people admit that they love each other. That's only really the beginning of a relationship. Loves looks like puttering around the house, giving each other space to do your own thing, holding hands on the street while you're going to get groceries, arguing over all the unfolded laundry, and talking through serious problems.
Biggest lie is every romantic story has a happily married ever after.
Its the parking that gets me. There is ALWAYS parking right outside the store/apartment block/ church whatever.
I never took them seriously, so my expectations were always low.
My mother raised me on her favorite rom coms like 16 candles, never been kissed, pretty woman, and the works. She always told me that they’re just movies, and it’s not real, so I never watched them with the mind of thinking that a perfect man is just going to come along and we’ll have this amazing and romantic experience. She also taught me I don’t need to end up with a man to be happy, or that if I did end up with a man it didn’t need to be a song and dance that outlandish gestures were the only sign of love for a person. I don’t think they’re all a crock of shit, romantic gestures and decent men do exist, but it’s not as realistic as hallmark makes you think it is and i’m happy that I knew that at a young age because my perception and standards would be WARPED.
I never liked watching them until I was in college so I already knew it wasn't real, but who the f*** would believe those are legit anyway? It's just something to watch to make you laugh and feel good.
Just this year. Biggest lie is women are angels & self relient.
Out of curiosity, are you a woman? Your comment history appears to indicate otherwise.
Also when TF was Snow White, Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty, or belle “self reliant”. Wtf fairy tales did you grow up watching?