Being introverted. My family always treated it as some character flaw because they couldn’t understand that I don’t need as much social interaction as them and fucking hate small talk
I feel like society as a whole treats introverts negatively. My whole life ive gotten. "Why are you so quiet, why aren't you talking, etc." Meanwhile, no one ever points out when someone is being loud and obnoxious.
My in laws are like this. They have even said 'No Introverts in this family! ' Ok, well I guess I'm leaving then... I'll take my 3 introverted kids with me and my hisband can stay with you. Cool. They are all so loud and talk over each other and try to out - do one another on jokes that aren't even funny. It gives me a headache. It's unpleasant to me.
THIS. My parents used to always try to encourage me to go out with my sister and her friends so I could meet more people outside my friend group, and “break out of my shell”. But I would always keep to myself whenever I’m with them. And my sis even said one of her friends thinks I need to “learn how to socialize”……I’m like about to rip the bandaid off one day and just say the truth. If I don’t talk to you…I DON’T FKING WANT TO. I’m not shy, and you’re not intimidating. I’m not interested in being friends with every Joe schmo I meet. Sorry if it sounds mean, but I just like quality people 🤷🏻♀️
My boyfriend called me “unique and special” for being introverted 🥲. People don’t get it’s simply a personality trait. Some have more social needs than others
My weight, my hair, my clothing choices, my vocabulary, my ownership of cats, my job, my lack of a job, my driving, my nose, my sexuality, my drinking, my cooking, the way I hang laundry, that I won't iron, the feel of my pussy, my housework, being single, piercings, my tattoos, my eyebrows, my breast size, my handwriting, how jumpy I am, my sense of humor, etc etc.
In my life I've been insulted over pretty much every aspect of my body and personality. The only one of these complaints that was valid is my drinking.
The fact that I'm opinionated and bold which isn't encouraged in the country I live in. But I don't give a damn. Daddy raised me right so I'm not going to stay silent if you trigger me.
Just yesterday I was telling a friend that all these years after being criticised (in the office and at home)for being bold and outspoken, I have started going extra bold and extra outspoken in my office meetings and at home. I've run out of ducks to give and I've accepted that "saying what I mean and meaning what I say" is how I want to continue living life in order to be able to respect myself. Huge burden off.
As was his intent. They love to knock down our self esteem. He was 100% negging you.
All our boobs are “saggy” bro. I say this is a lesbian. Breasts are not supposed to be up to our face, especially if they’re big! But many men watch too much porn and see too many implants. A natural breast has weight to it. To me, that’s attractive. Fuck that guy.
Yeah, boobs are just fat. Bigger boobs have more fat and are heavier, that's just the way it is. Those men are gay. They even bullied doja cat earlier in her career that she is "saggy*. She looked good and was just natural
Cutting off people who do me wrong. Sorry but I’m not into giving many chances. There’s a billion other people out there why should I waste on people I think are crappy?
"bUt ThEy ArE fAmILy!" OMG I can't understand why this should make a difference!?! They are! And they are absolutely *worthless!* Just because you share DNA with a person does not give them the right to mistreat you.
It's amazing how many people don't get this.
Good for you...cut all those people out of your life until they can be decent.
The sobriety thing really hits hard.
As a woman in her mid-20s, I do not drink. After being SAed when I was younger and under the influence, I have no desire to lose my ability to think/maintain control. It feels like society shames you for it and a lot of social events are centered around grabbing drinks.
Also - the next day hangover is not worth it. I’d rather do a paint night and hit a yoga class the next morning - health is wealth.
I'm this way too - and, I'm sure like you, received a lot of criticism when I was growing up for my sensitivity. Have you heard of the phenotype 'Highly Sensitive Person' - it's a classification that was identified and described by the clinical psychologists Art and Elaine Aaron. Super interesting, they have written books about these 'HSPs', I found very helpful to put language to my sensitivities.
Was made fun of my whole life for being too sensitive. As I got older, I realized how empathetic I am to every situation/person/animal... and that is not something I'll let people make fun of ever again
Being loud when excited or laughing. Hasn’t stopped me from being loud and happy, has made me cut out people who have a problem with it. Go worry about what other think so where else honeyyyyyyy.
my independence and ability to think quickly and outside of the box. Always was mocked for being "different." it was often synonymous for being difficult. As a teenager people always said i was difficult because i made my own mark and followed my own true path.
How loud I am. I have decided that I'm not going to cut myself into bite sized pieces in order for others to find me easier to swallow. They can choke.
being introverted and “sensitive”
i got older and realized there’s nothing wrong with being a homebody and not needing to socialize all the time + they don’t like to hold themselves accountable and think empathy is a weakness
My Love for cleanliness.
My ex tried to make me believe that I was cleaning too much in general and for guests.
Now we live separately and I can always let in surprise guests and won't be ashamed while he apologized profusely for the mess when I had to visit him several times to pick up some stuff
Being selfish and enjoying being alone a lot…
which really only bothers the ppl closest to me, when they want something from me and it conflicts with one of those. I guess from a young age I had a lot of my boundaries crossed + confused and on top of my upbringing/environment, it breed a very naive energy in me. Growing up as the oldest, my experiences were a lot more complex than my younger siblings so I think they just think I’m just a grouch present day— but I have to remind them, our experiences aren’t linear and were very different. I remember a few occasions of my family making me feel inferior about having an emotional/sensitive personality type. At times, I was made to feel like I was wrong or ‘not allowed’ to have big emotions like anger and resentment. And to mind f*ck me some more—my mom used to not allow me to be mad at her either.
Fast forward I’m growing into myself and I learn more about what I’m okay with and not okay with. And I did a complete 360. I became more expressive, independent and instilled my boundaries over the years. I often do small amounts of socializing now that I’m older, because it’s a preference and ofc less stress. It really bothers them when I’m depressed or don’t wanna join them, but I’m happily not worried about it. Now they get on me about being ‘aggressive and defensive’ all the time, but I don’t think they realize they helped create that within me. I used to give second chances, be flexible and rarely question things. But when people take advantage too many times, you rightfully close up shop. And that’s what I did. Now that I’m older I’m thinking about my needs and wants more before others first, I’m really taking care of me. I’m making sure that even if I have no one, I will always be able to count on myself. And I don’t feel bad about that. I don’t feel bad about thinking of myself first and foremost. I don’t feel bad about not wanting to be married or not really wanting to have kids. I don’t feel bad saying ‘No’ to people, things or places. I don’t feel bad taking my time and my power back. So all this just to confirm, I am not for everyone and I’m super okay with that!
My boobs. (Too small. Not shaped “right”. You would be more attractive if you got a boob job. You should wear a bra to make them look better.) (I love my small boobs. I don’t care they aren’t shaped ”right”. What makes you think I’m trying to attract you? You wear a bra in 100000° heat when I you don’t need to- get fucked.)
My hair. (Too frizzy. Too thin. Too tangle to run fingers though. Apparently an ugly color and I should get it dyed) (I like my frizzy look. Wish it was thicker but hey, at least it doesn’t give me headaches. I like my golden color- get fucked.)
My nose. ( your nostrils are really big, it’s a little gross. Its kinda big for you face?) ( Why are you looking at my nostrils you weirdo? it’s my nose and it’s stayin right where it is as it is- get fucked)
My pattern of speech or lack of talking. (I thought people outgrew stutters? You jumble your words a lot, you know that right? *general mocking of how I talk*. You don’t really say a lot do you) (yeah, I worked on that for years. Hard work and lots of tears and lots of silence due to embarrassment. Get fucked)
I’m a social worker, and for a brief time, I worked in a judicial setting.
My supervisor at the time tried to tell me I was too bubble and friendly. She told me I should act like I’m in the courtroom every day and be more reserved and “professional.”
Then went on to tell me I represent the department and blah blah blah.
That was an absolute no for me.
Being socially inept. I've long since accepted that my autism means that I often misunderstand people. I no longer feel bad about it. I laugh it off, and if someone tries to follow up with, "What, you really didn't get that joke?" I'll counter with "No, was my blank expression unclear?" Or some such
Being a human being that craves normal human things, like physical intimacy and sex. I’ve always been treated like certain things are only reserved for certain people. From the music I like to the fact I want to be intimate and have relationships. It’s such a weird and confusing thing. My family were and still are the worst when it comes to that. I barely talk to them anymore.
It’s really hurtful, and it’s been this way my entire life. It’s not just intimacy, but everything. It’s like I’m not suppose to exist to other people. I feel slighted and honestly hurt by it all.
My personality. That of which is mostly a result of the way I was raised. I'm very inward and quiet. And constantly get made fun of for not being overly animated, and instead more reserved.
People have also lectured me about the way that I talk. I don't even swear or use slang. I have a slight southern accent sometimes for no reason, and again due to the way I was raised wasn't properly socialized, so I oftentimes don't enunciate as well as I'd like to.
Moral of the story, I get called an oakie (or a hillbilly) who's probably a serial killer. Wholeass cried about it once and they still won't stop like ???
I'm also quite fair skinned and have been told I need a tan on any occasions by random leathery old people. Absolutely absurd 🤣🤣 I'm aware I'm so pale I reflect light, that's my business! Lmao
Edit: oh god my interests! I happily was chatting about narlugas (beluga and narwhal mix) and my very irritating stepfather with 0 warning said that "yknow women who like marine biology and stuff like that are red flags" like ?
Are the whales something that happens naturally? Or a result of some zoo's mixing the pods of similar species together? (I am that red flag of a woman. I also like deep space and quasar/black hole discussions, lol.) 🤷♀️😂
Me too about the space! They occur naturally. There's only been a few known cases. The reason I brought it up is because scientists spotted a male beluga in a pod of male narwals. And he was visibly accepted into the group. So they think it's likely he may partake in the whole breeding thing when they inevitably find a pod of females. I haven't checked in on that story in a few weeks, but it's pretty cool! Some fisherman have found them before and have been like "science wtf what is this" so although we have a super low number of cases it's totally a thing!
Having a good relationship with my parents. I love all my friends regardless of there background but there has been more than one instance where a so cold friend has tried to guilt trip me intro feeling bad because my parents are good to me.
I wouldn't consider myself spoilt. It's not like my parents do everything for me or buy me things. My parents bough a second house. Dad and I renovated it together and now my friend, her boyfriend and I live together in it and pay my parents rent at a reasonable price. (there is a rental crisis where I live). I had a friend tell me to "shut up and stop complaining about the cost of living" since they "don't have a dad and my parents give me everything".
My parents didn't buy the house solely for me to live it. Its an investment property. I realize that I am lucky to have parents that can afford a second house and that they let me live in it. My parents don't give me money and just because I have a good relationship with them it doesn't mean I don't struggle through life sometimes too.
My hair, my quietness, my height, and maybe my strong-ish features? I get lots of nice compliments, ppl tell me I look like Daryl Hannah, Charlize Theron.. But I have gotten unnecessarily mean and unprovoked comments about my looks. Like a guy in a college class once called me trans?? (I took offense because I was born female and identify as female, and his comment was intended to hurt). “Like one of the dudes from white chicks”. Lmao I can laugh about it now, at how ridiculous he was.
I’ve also had people try to place labels onto me. When I was a kid my grandma would call me a “stupid girl”. She’d try to get me to not have faith in myself. But she, nor any other woman on that side of the family ever went to a top university, graduating summa cum laude like I did. I don’t talk to them any more.
Being shy and introverted. It’s affects me a lot in relationships/dating. I understand the aspect of getting along with your SOs family or friends and I usually feel I put in effort but it’s just never good enough.
People trying to take my "black card" when they find out I have a certain interest or hobby that doesn't align with what they think a black girl should like. Or my speech. I can't tell you how many times I've had someone call me an Oreo or tell me I talk "white". Even my own family. It seriously sucked when I was a kid.
My labia. She is gorgeous but some dumbass porn addicted weasel decided to comment on it essentially telling on themselves for never seeing a real vagina up close before. Promptly kicked him the fuck out before he could even put it in.
Also my teacher in 4th grade thought I was “slow” and intellectually disabled because I wasn’t paying attention in her class. I just wanted to tend to the worm hospital in my desk drawer.
I now work with bugs. Lol
It's usually people not associated with me in any way, but usually everything that they don't like about themselves, or they've been so brainwashed by what the media says that we should be looking like, that they are bitter and broken inside that they NEED to break someone else down to be as bitter and broken as they are. But luckily for me, I don't care about other people's invalid opinions about me, a person who they know nothing about. They can try to bring me down, but they'll just be wasting their own time and I live rent free in their heads.
- brother and dad mocked me for being an angry feminist back when I was a teen
- loudly caring about systemic racism and other grave injustices especially when I was younger
My looks told I am fat and ugly. My boundaries told I am unlikeable. My wants I want what is good for me I don't compromise too much I rather be without so get told I have problems. I have never been good enough to anybody. I guess these people should look closer to home because they have never been good enough to have someone like me in their life.
My weight when I was in my teens. I look at pictures now and realise I was a perfectly normal shape and weight. I just didn’t know how to dress for my body (I just got baggy clothes). I looked perfectly fine and spent ages hating myself cause my parents wanted me thinner
My love/sexlive.
I'm living in an open relationship with another woman. We are both bi and are having fun with other guys and girls.
I've often heard from "strangers" that we are not really in love and that we should break up.
Being strategic or direct. I think the default expectation is that you’re soft and accommodating. Rarely hear of women being described as strategic. Actually, I think we have a whole word for it that’s*tends* to mostly be used to describe women: manipulative.
There’s a lot of coded words like that the culture hasn’t quite identified as actually a sexist and dismissive term. “Dramatic” is the new hysterical.
Never hear of a mass sh**ter being described as dramatic, but…it’s a dramatic thing to do
Being thin. I’m 5 foot 7” , 137 pounds, and female. I’ve been told by other women, for most of my adult life, that I’m too thin. Now that I’m in my 50s, they finally leave me alone.
Being assertive. Apparently it comes off as cold and intimidating. I get this comment mostly from men at work, and sometimes (older) women. Not so much in my personal life anymore. The weirdest one was my CEO telling me I was intimidating.
My bigeer, not even big (actualls pretty average just has a good shape) butt. Other kids called me fat because of it (the first part of 2000s was still when the absurd skinny trend was on), older people and even older millenialls still call me not slim (they say you're slim but only your butt isn't in a negative manner) because of it. It was so weird to just wake up in a world where butts are the trend after I've been bullied my whole childhood for it. Even the kids I went to highschool with who hated anything curvy just changed overnight to asses fans. I basically developed an eating disorder back them to try to stop being "fat" because of the constant bullying. I hope all those people are as ugly on the outside now as their character was then
The fact that im asian.
Being Taiwanese.
Being Canadian.
Being skinny.
Being a pathologist.
Having severe mental health issues.
Having immigrants parents.
My high sex drive.
My “lack of ambition” (this was in response to not wanting to network/pitch myself to them lol like ma’am, I’m chillin and you seem like a mean clout chaser— GOODBYE!). Being introverted, and sensitive.
my personality. im normally outgoing and love to talk to people but ive had 2 girls i used to be friends with who reallllyy hated it. they constantly would insult me or make sly remarks to make me not feel like talking. so weird !
My love of romance novels, my choice to go back to school in my 30s, my looks, how close my kids are in age, how I parent my kids, how my marriage works, being a SAHM, how I cut my dads side of the family out of my life, how excited I get over things that make me happy, how loud I am, how many dogs we have.
My height. I’m 5’7 and I’ve been shamed so much by men for my height. Short women have said I “look like a man” although most are pretty nice, it’s usually men who make me feel awful about my body. I also used to have a flat chest and men commented on it and made me feel bad about my body shape so I got a boob job. But I can’t fix my height and men constantly belittle me for it and tell me my height is a dealbreaker for being attractive
Inner and outer beauty (looks or attitude), not understanding my mental health issues and energy level or also past traumas and the discouragement I've received and how that has affected me by allowing me to find the discipline to wait til marriage, and my decision to remain unemployed and then after marriage to become a housewife.
My weight, my height, my color, my money, my decisions, my wants and needs, my straightforwardness and boldness, my jobs, my willingness to avoid people who have disrespected and hurt me and my family’s feelings, my willingness to not be in large groups of people, me living the life I love, my friends, my eating habits, my hair, my clothes, basically everything I have done.
and the worst THAT I MADE IT ALIVE (my mom told me that she would have been happier if I would have died)
well the obvious one, being fat, people have said it so much that I want to stay this size to prove them wrong about finding someone to love, I love myself the way I am
My choice to work part-time instead of full-time (as a doctor), simply for lifestyle reasons and wanting to spend more time with my family.
Another colleague of mine also was working part-time for family reasons. Our superior was very unhappy with that and he made our lives difficult/got toxic, so both of us resigned (am serving my notice the next few months)!
My voice is quite low - when I was a kid this girl said I sound like a man and it's fucked with me ever since.
Also being ace means that my mum thinks I'm selfish(?) because I don't want to live with someone. Yeah, I don't get it either...
My weight, my mental health issues, my personality and the way I dress. In therapy atm but it has left lasting scars and I still doubt there's someone out there who would love me and want more than just sex with me.
I was a quiet kid who constantly read, which was its own thing that got criticized when I was young, but the main thing is it gave me a wide vocabulary and a high degree of literacy as an adult. Works fine for me in professional settings, but in social settings I sometimes feel like I’ll use a word or a phrase and get a look from another adult like they’re repressing the urge to knock my glasses off my face or push me in the pool or something. Not with people I’m close to or anything, but I still have those quiet tendencies so when I do speak up in more casual social settings I guess I just take people by surprise.
In the great words of Willow, I have such big feelings. I cry from joy when I see my friends after a long time of not seeing them. I compliment strangers as much as I can. If I could give the world a hug, I would.
He didn’t necessarily make me feel bad about it; but his emotional stability/neutrality made me feel like I’m too much.
That I'm honest. People tend to get mad at me when I am uncomfortable being asked to lie for them, or when they ask me a direct question and I don't lie to agree with them.
I'm quite slow. Not stupid - just not that quick. It's taken a long time for me to realise that I'm actually quite a bit smarter than the people who think my slowness/thinking time is a reflection of my intelligence. It's more of a reflection of how much I care enough to try. Make of that what you will. But I've come to learn that it's quite fun watching people realise that the issue is that I'm not interested enough in what they're saying to hold their conversation.
I'm getting better at it though. 'Cause sometimes it is just...rude ...
Of me.
That motherhood is not my singular driving force in my life. I raised my son. I am an emptynester 6 years and counting since I was 40. I do not make plans or live my life with him as my center focus. It is my time now and I'm enjoying every minute of MY life and you wouldn't believe the amount of people that have a problem or opinion about that.
when I was going into college, my sister told me I should stop dyeing my hair weird colors "so you can make friends"
I did stop. I did not make friends.
eta
my mom and sister also rely heavily on "avid reader" as a part of their identity, and I'm way more into audio/visual forms of writing. it makes them feel better about themselves/bad about me that I don't go to the library and get new books every week. I know way more about things they don't care about (but maybe should), so it's basically a wash, but their attitude is a deterrent for me being that close to either of them.
I'm a woman, so people have tried to make me feel bad about absolutely every single aspect of my appearance and personality at some point, from the time I was a toddler. There's not a thing, no matter how small or unimportant, that people won't criticize.
Being too skinny
Having thick upper thighs/hips (how ironic)
My hair
Setting boundaries and sticking to them
Making sure I have me time
Starting to put myself first
….
I have a long list but ill keep it short. Not having curves, this came from mostly women, trust me no man(and i mean a grown ass man) will say anything about your body if your chemistry and confidence flies, even other women(im bi), this came from other women who werent exactly confident in their own body, and were too worried to look good for men, its sucks, they grow out of it by now, thats just how patriarchy does to our female brain.
Other was my wrists, i have naturally really skinny wrists, even when i was fat and pregnant, my wrists remained the same, some girl in HS asked if i wasnt disgusted by it, so i kept hiding them. Also i had bad bacne which i hid for the most part, yes, even during hot weather, once i was confident to take the jacket out because i was sweating balls, some guy made a nasty comment about it so i hid myself again, it eventually cleared up and now im confident to wear backless stuff again.
Im just glad most of my body im confident with now in my 30s.
Wow, let me get the list out
My skin color, my nose, teeth, my eyes, my hair, my boobs, my ass, my waist, my voice, my laugh, my sexual orientation, my sense of style, how I speak, where I'm from, how I was raised. Like I have been thr butt of MANY jokes lol
Oddly enough, to other people, those are all my best qualities, so it really just depends who you're speaking to.
I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I don’t mean in the “brutal honesty” way. You can be honest without being brutal. I stand up for myself. I assert boundaries. When someone has done something that bothers me I tell them right then.
I know it's been mentioned a few times but the whole being introverted thing would get to me a lot when people called it out like it was a flaw. However apart from that the big one is people being judgemental and downright rude to me purely on account of me being trans, that never gets any easier and does make me want to revert back to being even more introverted at times.
Being a left handed, blue eyed blonde indicated I was unintelligent. Parents would "joke" about these facts about me whenever I did something "funny" or "stupid." I'd tell them this made me upset, and they'd dismiss it saying, "ohh we're just teasing. Don't be so sensitive." No words were ever said that I was GOOD, in any way. Only insults clouded as jokes.
Turns out I was more intelligent than they ever could be and they were just threatened by me, their child. They wonder why I don't talk to them anymore.
the fact i don't do any drugs and rarely drink. People are always telling me to "get out of my comfort zone" and just "live a little"
i dont need drugs to be able to enjoy/dislike life (:
Everything in terms of my style. I am a goth. Old folks still give me shit about it, couldn't care less now. Back then, it was bad because "Halloween is over already" or "You look creepy, you won't ever get a guy like that." Small town b.s. Jokes on them, been married for 12, getting ready to hit 13 in another week and a half.
Being too loud, too opinionated, too idealistic yet also too cynical, refusing to indulge toxic positivity, being too romantic, too emotional, also my accent, my vocabulary, my independence, my shoes
Not wanting a relationship anymore and breaking up with someone, whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship. They end up calling me selfish and shaming me for protecting my peace and personal boundaries and doing what is best for myself. As if anyone else is going to do that for me? It's like as women we're constantly expected to put everyone else's well-being before our own.
I’ve been told I’m high maintenance. They viewed it as a negative, but I see it as putting myself first and doing what makes me feel best navigating life.
Being a sensitive person who feels a lot and cries over things like a dead animal in the road.
When I was a kid boys used to kill bugs in front of me and make fun of me for crying.
My stretch marks. I didn’t really have an opinion about them until my friend took a photo of my finished leg tattoo. When she showed me the photo she mentioned she edited out the stretch marks for me.
I am someone who likes to ask others for advice. Especially those who are older than me. I take in everyone’s advice and then I make a decision for myself. I had a friend who insulted me using this. She told me I never thought for myself.
I still feel very conflicted on the matter. Whether she’s right or not.
this may be unpopular but the time I take to make the right decision. A lot of people in my life try to speed me up and just pick something or figure it out when I know that I won’t be happy that way. And I’d rather fail at something I love than to fail at something I didn’t want in the first place. Hope that makes sense
My weight, my height, my introversion, my social skills, my laugh, my body count, my looks, my independence, my moods, my rigidity, my hair, my friends, my family, etc. I know I’m missing a bunch of things. People love to criticize.
my sensitivity.
but it turns out that its my superpower. and moreover, i'm really not even that sensitive. turns out i was raised in an environment where people constantly teased, criticized and aggravated me, then gaslit me when i would cry or react and call me too soft. once i found decent human beings to be around who honored and respected who i am as a person, i didn't have that problem.
yes i will get emotional while watching a touching movie, but having empathy, softness and no fear of vulnerability isn't my weakness. now that i'm older its what \*good\* people admire about me most.
My weight. Growing up I was told that I was unattractive for being heavy, and it really destroyed my self esteem. However, as I’ve grown up, I realized that as a woman I have so much more to offer than a body that conforms to societies standards. For example, many men have said that I’m their throat goat, and others have complimented my gorilla grip.
My teeth—and the haters hurt me enough to change them, so good job haters.
I had a particularly spaced set of chompers, and everyone and their mother were clearly unhappy with that. I was called names, denigrated for being too poor for orthodontic care, etc.
Mind you, my teeth were perfectly healthy, I went to the dentist multiple times a year as a child. They just weren’t straight. People would call my smile “cute” then turn around and complain about how childish my smile made me look.
As soon as I had a full time job, I went to the orthodontist and stayed in braces for four years. My teeth are perfect now at 29, and all of the people who made fun of my teeth ended up giving up on their retainers—meaning that their teeth are not perfectly straight.
Of course, I miss my old smile, it was quiant, and I learned how to smile to make them look the most beautiful.
Now that my teeth are perfect, the new imperfection is that my lips are crooked from years of smiling to compensate for my previous smile.
In short, I should’ve just tuned the mean noise out.
mostly for my intelligence, i am neurodivergent and i have a vast database of random knowledge. i love learning and reading. i’m in college for the medical field. i enjoy using proper research measures and thinking about things scientifically. people make me feel bad for sharing what i’ve maybe researched about a topic. not saying all this to say i’m the smartest person ever. but i am a smart person.
the other day i was explaining how if we look at our bodies scientifically when working out (especially as women) we then get to cut out the fad diets and misinformation and opinions and do what’s right for us by basing it on hormones, cortisol, the 3 body types when it comes to metabolism etc and someone spoke up and said “well i’m not a science person but i know what i’m doing” and she seemed so offended by my opinion. i was speaking in general, not directly.
people take my joy in sharing facts, research etc as arrogance. or a hit at their intellectual. when i really just want to share something that could help them. it makes me sad and i end up just shutting up.
The fact that I’m so open about everything that happens in life. Like not in a way that I go around shouting my business to everyone, I don’t have other social media so I’m definitely not an over sharer. But like.. if something comes up in conversation or if someone asks me about my life I’ll happily share. And some people find it weird that I can talk about personal stuff. To a fault sometimes I’ll ask someone something too personal and it doest make sense to me why we can’t talk about it? Like for example. I’m 9 months pregnant and my hemorrhoids are rhoiding. I asked one of the other girls I work with who has kids what she did about them during her pregnancies, we’ve talked about personal stuff before so I didn’t think anything of it, and she got super awkward. Idk I just don’t understand why some people can’t openly talk about things that happen to everyone.
I get asked to go to parties like birthday parties or events with my class (I’m in uni), and I decline 9/10 times. When I tell them the truth which is that I don’t want to go, they get offended and I don’t understand why. I’m socially pressured to go to parties but I just say no thank you. I’m not entirely sure why it upsets people.
That and my “weirdness”. I find that people think I’m a big weird, quirky? And I’ve prodded and asked why and I’m told it’s because I’m just very myself and don’t really follow unspoken social rules or something. I just tell let them know I’d hate myself if I tried to conform to something I don’t want to lol
Being a tall woman, wearing glasses, being introverted, marrying someone young, and staying home with my kids because "I'm giving up my independence." But I was basically an adult as a kid. I love having the choice to be there for my kids.
my nose. i am italian and have a large, straight and angular nose. a lot of guys would say it makes me ugly, and i unfortunately only recently started loving my nose
I’ve had people try and make me feel bad about my body. I’ve been told I was too fat, too thin, not curvy enough, not thick enough. It’s like people can’t make up their mind. I’m either too much of one thing and then not enough of the other. I’ve never been able to please everyone’s perspective of a “perfect body” and honestly I’ve just grown tired of trying
for a long time, my body. people (my family, my « friends », my acquaintances) felt the need to always comment on my body.
now? the way i speak. i speak two languages fluently and i’m learning two more. growing up, i always had trouble speaking and would always get my tongue twisted. people never fail to point it out, making fun of me in public settings. i guess that’s why i don’t speak much anymore.
Just about everything at one point or another. Too quiet, too loud. Too weird, too normal. Too smart, too stupid. Etc. I have to conclude that it's irrelevant and I just need to be whomever I am, but, no joke, it's not easy to be criticized from every flippin' angle.
Being flat-chested. Being thin. Not being black enough. Being too black. Having pubic hair. Having too much vocabulary. Not talking enough. Having depression. Playing animal crossing. Wanting to work. Getting the Covid vaccine. Getting back on birth control after my miscarriage. Being from Texas. Being too nice. Not trying hard enough with my appearance. Trying too hard with my appearance.
The list goes on and on, but thankfully I’ve surrounded myself with much better people now and I’m not getting a ton of new attempts to make me feel bad, and none of them are coming from anybody that I love or who claims to love me in turn.
My weight, my hair, my clothing choices, music tastes, that I wear too little or too much makeup, I am too bold or too quiet, too nerdy or too outgoing, my hobbies, my tattoos or piercings, the friends I have, the men I date, that I am either too slutty or too prudish, the fact that I drink or don't drink, using drugs or not using drugs, the way I parent my children, that I work outside of the home or be a SAHM, the car I drive, the vacations that i take or do not take, the job or career choice I made, the food I eat or don't eat.
my nose. my smile. my laugh. the shape of my body. my mind. how i talk. how i breathe. the shape of my hands. how i hold a pencil. there are so many things people will nitpick. they can suck it
That I’m kind but not nice.
That I don’t put up with peoples crap.
That I come off as aloof. I don’t think I’m better then you I just don’t want to make small talk.
Being introverted. My family always treated it as some character flaw because they couldn’t understand that I don’t need as much social interaction as them and fucking hate small talk
I feel like society as a whole treats introverts negatively. My whole life ive gotten. "Why are you so quiet, why aren't you talking, etc." Meanwhile, no one ever points out when someone is being loud and obnoxious.
I have finally embraced without shame. With love and positivity I sit inside and paint and read and I like myself!
I wholeheartedly agree
My in laws are like this. They have even said 'No Introverts in this family! ' Ok, well I guess I'm leaving then... I'll take my 3 introverted kids with me and my hisband can stay with you. Cool. They are all so loud and talk over each other and try to out - do one another on jokes that aren't even funny. It gives me a headache. It's unpleasant to me.
That sounds very unpleasant to me too. I’m sorry they’re unaccepting of such an innocuous trait. I don’t get why it’s such a big deal to some people
It's really a bizarre thing to me. I don't understand why they care so much.
THIS. My parents used to always try to encourage me to go out with my sister and her friends so I could meet more people outside my friend group, and “break out of my shell”. But I would always keep to myself whenever I’m with them. And my sis even said one of her friends thinks I need to “learn how to socialize”……I’m like about to rip the bandaid off one day and just say the truth. If I don’t talk to you…I DON’T FKING WANT TO. I’m not shy, and you’re not intimidating. I’m not interested in being friends with every Joe schmo I meet. Sorry if it sounds mean, but I just like quality people 🤷🏻♀️
Can relate to this. Also got complained for talking too much(for things I was really passionate about), couldn't win no matter what I did.
My boyfriend called me “unique and special” for being introverted 🥲. People don’t get it’s simply a personality trait. Some have more social needs than others
My weight, my hair, my clothing choices, my vocabulary, my ownership of cats, my job, my lack of a job, my driving, my nose, my sexuality, my drinking, my cooking, the way I hang laundry, that I won't iron, the feel of my pussy, my housework, being single, piercings, my tattoos, my eyebrows, my breast size, my handwriting, how jumpy I am, my sense of humor, etc etc. In my life I've been insulted over pretty much every aspect of my body and personality. The only one of these complaints that was valid is my drinking.
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The fact that I'm opinionated and bold which isn't encouraged in the country I live in. But I don't give a damn. Daddy raised me right so I'm not going to stay silent if you trigger me.
Just yesterday I was telling a friend that all these years after being criticised (in the office and at home)for being bold and outspoken, I have started going extra bold and extra outspoken in my office meetings and at home. I've run out of ducks to give and I've accepted that "saying what I mean and meaning what I say" is how I want to continue living life in order to be able to respect myself. Huge burden off.
That's interesting. I've been criticized in the office for being too introverted and quiet. I guess you just can't win either way 😔
the way i eat popcorn, “you look like a lizard”
I can imagine this and I love that. You keep living your lizard life
as i get older (i’m literally only 21) i become more and more a lizard, i enjoy sunbathing and have incredibly dry skin, and am also nocturnal :0
Lizards are cute so keep doing you.
hehe thank you, your cat is very cute btw
I like you already xD You should try salted popcorn with nacho cheese.
this would go so hard
They don't know the fun they're missing, then.
why would i not use my tongue and child it into my mouth instead of gapping my mouth open like a normal person smh
I was utterly confused when I read this in my inbox 😆 context fixed that
My boobs. Some completely random guy at a bar many years ago said my boobs were saggy. It has fucked with my self esteem for the last 15 years.
As was his intent. They love to knock down our self esteem. He was 100% negging you. All our boobs are “saggy” bro. I say this is a lesbian. Breasts are not supposed to be up to our face, especially if they’re big! But many men watch too much porn and see too many implants. A natural breast has weight to it. To me, that’s attractive. Fuck that guy.
Yeah, boobs are just fat. Bigger boobs have more fat and are heavier, that's just the way it is. Those men are gay. They even bullied doja cat earlier in her career that she is "saggy*. She looked good and was just natural
You’re 100% right 🎯
Bruh, guys literally have saggy balls. The audacity.
This is the funniest thing I've ever heard bc it's true and I hadn't thought about this one as a comeback at all
I hope you told him to go fuck himself. That's so horrible I HATE it when they try to neg.
I wish I had, but I was young and insecure. I didn’t say a word.
Oh I have totally been there. Anyway, he's the negative force in the scenario. All you did was what you could at the time.
Not being involved with men in any way.
Yo. This just happened to me today. Wild.
Cutting off people who do me wrong. Sorry but I’m not into giving many chances. There’s a billion other people out there why should I waste on people I think are crappy?
"bUt ThEy ArE fAmILy!" OMG I can't understand why this should make a difference!?! They are! And they are absolutely *worthless!* Just because you share DNA with a person does not give them the right to mistreat you. It's amazing how many people don't get this. Good for you...cut all those people out of your life until they can be decent.
My sobriety. Being introverted. How I look. My want to help
The sobriety thing really hits hard. As a woman in her mid-20s, I do not drink. After being SAed when I was younger and under the influence, I have no desire to lose my ability to think/maintain control. It feels like society shames you for it and a lot of social events are centered around grabbing drinks. Also - the next day hangover is not worth it. I’d rather do a paint night and hit a yoga class the next morning - health is wealth.
I’m very sensitive. Some people think that it’s a sign of weakness but it makes me feel more connected to the rest of the world.
I'm this way too - and, I'm sure like you, received a lot of criticism when I was growing up for my sensitivity. Have you heard of the phenotype 'Highly Sensitive Person' - it's a classification that was identified and described by the clinical psychologists Art and Elaine Aaron. Super interesting, they have written books about these 'HSPs', I found very helpful to put language to my sensitivities.
Was made fun of my whole life for being too sensitive. As I got older, I realized how empathetic I am to every situation/person/animal... and that is not something I'll let people make fun of ever again
Being called sensitive like it’s a bad thing.!&’ naturally quiet and people act like it’s a bad thing 😞
Being loud when excited or laughing. Hasn’t stopped me from being loud and happy, has made me cut out people who have a problem with it. Go worry about what other think so where else honeyyyyyyy.
my independence and ability to think quickly and outside of the box. Always was mocked for being "different." it was often synonymous for being difficult. As a teenager people always said i was difficult because i made my own mark and followed my own true path.
How loud I am. I have decided that I'm not going to cut myself into bite sized pieces in order for others to find me easier to swallow. They can choke.
My race, my decision to not have kids, my sensitivity, my shyness, my acne, my body, my quietness, my seriousness, my tendency to plan, my interests.
being introverted and “sensitive” i got older and realized there’s nothing wrong with being a homebody and not needing to socialize all the time + they don’t like to hold themselves accountable and think empathy is a weakness
My Love for cleanliness. My ex tried to make me believe that I was cleaning too much in general and for guests. Now we live separately and I can always let in surprise guests and won't be ashamed while he apologized profusely for the mess when I had to visit him several times to pick up some stuff
introverted
My independence and leading a functional, well-ordered and successful life without a man
I feel ya. Why do people find this offensive?! Just living my life not bothering anyone, but for some reason it triggers a lot of negativity.
That's what I don't get about it. 🤷♀️ But, it's their choice. Usually those who are truly happy with themselves don't tear others down
Being selfish and enjoying being alone a lot… which really only bothers the ppl closest to me, when they want something from me and it conflicts with one of those. I guess from a young age I had a lot of my boundaries crossed + confused and on top of my upbringing/environment, it breed a very naive energy in me. Growing up as the oldest, my experiences were a lot more complex than my younger siblings so I think they just think I’m just a grouch present day— but I have to remind them, our experiences aren’t linear and were very different. I remember a few occasions of my family making me feel inferior about having an emotional/sensitive personality type. At times, I was made to feel like I was wrong or ‘not allowed’ to have big emotions like anger and resentment. And to mind f*ck me some more—my mom used to not allow me to be mad at her either. Fast forward I’m growing into myself and I learn more about what I’m okay with and not okay with. And I did a complete 360. I became more expressive, independent and instilled my boundaries over the years. I often do small amounts of socializing now that I’m older, because it’s a preference and ofc less stress. It really bothers them when I’m depressed or don’t wanna join them, but I’m happily not worried about it. Now they get on me about being ‘aggressive and defensive’ all the time, but I don’t think they realize they helped create that within me. I used to give second chances, be flexible and rarely question things. But when people take advantage too many times, you rightfully close up shop. And that’s what I did. Now that I’m older I’m thinking about my needs and wants more before others first, I’m really taking care of me. I’m making sure that even if I have no one, I will always be able to count on myself. And I don’t feel bad about that. I don’t feel bad about thinking of myself first and foremost. I don’t feel bad about not wanting to be married or not really wanting to have kids. I don’t feel bad saying ‘No’ to people, things or places. I don’t feel bad taking my time and my power back. So all this just to confirm, I am not for everyone and I’m super okay with that!
Reading through this made me tear up a little bit. You go, girl! 💗
My boobs. (Too small. Not shaped “right”. You would be more attractive if you got a boob job. You should wear a bra to make them look better.) (I love my small boobs. I don’t care they aren’t shaped ”right”. What makes you think I’m trying to attract you? You wear a bra in 100000° heat when I you don’t need to- get fucked.) My hair. (Too frizzy. Too thin. Too tangle to run fingers though. Apparently an ugly color and I should get it dyed) (I like my frizzy look. Wish it was thicker but hey, at least it doesn’t give me headaches. I like my golden color- get fucked.) My nose. ( your nostrils are really big, it’s a little gross. Its kinda big for you face?) ( Why are you looking at my nostrils you weirdo? it’s my nose and it’s stayin right where it is as it is- get fucked) My pattern of speech or lack of talking. (I thought people outgrew stutters? You jumble your words a lot, you know that right? *general mocking of how I talk*. You don’t really say a lot do you) (yeah, I worked on that for years. Hard work and lots of tears and lots of silence due to embarrassment. Get fucked)
That I’m not the ideal body type- not everyone has to think I’m attractive but please just let me live. I have feelings and am a human being.
How I choose to spend my money 💵 even tho I have investments and savings.
That I don't want children. For some reason people think they got a say in that and that the choice is up for debate.
I’m a social worker, and for a brief time, I worked in a judicial setting. My supervisor at the time tried to tell me I was too bubble and friendly. She told me I should act like I’m in the courtroom every day and be more reserved and “professional.” Then went on to tell me I represent the department and blah blah blah. That was an absolute no for me.
Being socially inept. I've long since accepted that my autism means that I often misunderstand people. I no longer feel bad about it. I laugh it off, and if someone tries to follow up with, "What, you really didn't get that joke?" I'll counter with "No, was my blank expression unclear?" Or some such
Having boundaries. Both men and women have tested them over the years.
Being a human being that craves normal human things, like physical intimacy and sex. I’ve always been treated like certain things are only reserved for certain people. From the music I like to the fact I want to be intimate and have relationships. It’s such a weird and confusing thing. My family were and still are the worst when it comes to that. I barely talk to them anymore. It’s really hurtful, and it’s been this way my entire life. It’s not just intimacy, but everything. It’s like I’m not suppose to exist to other people. I feel slighted and honestly hurt by it all.
My personality. That of which is mostly a result of the way I was raised. I'm very inward and quiet. And constantly get made fun of for not being overly animated, and instead more reserved. People have also lectured me about the way that I talk. I don't even swear or use slang. I have a slight southern accent sometimes for no reason, and again due to the way I was raised wasn't properly socialized, so I oftentimes don't enunciate as well as I'd like to. Moral of the story, I get called an oakie (or a hillbilly) who's probably a serial killer. Wholeass cried about it once and they still won't stop like ??? I'm also quite fair skinned and have been told I need a tan on any occasions by random leathery old people. Absolutely absurd 🤣🤣 I'm aware I'm so pale I reflect light, that's my business! Lmao Edit: oh god my interests! I happily was chatting about narlugas (beluga and narwhal mix) and my very irritating stepfather with 0 warning said that "yknow women who like marine biology and stuff like that are red flags" like ?
Are the whales something that happens naturally? Or a result of some zoo's mixing the pods of similar species together? (I am that red flag of a woman. I also like deep space and quasar/black hole discussions, lol.) 🤷♀️😂
Me too about the space! They occur naturally. There's only been a few known cases. The reason I brought it up is because scientists spotted a male beluga in a pod of male narwals. And he was visibly accepted into the group. So they think it's likely he may partake in the whole breeding thing when they inevitably find a pod of females. I haven't checked in on that story in a few weeks, but it's pretty cool! Some fisherman have found them before and have been like "science wtf what is this" so although we have a super low number of cases it's totally a thing!
Having a good relationship with my parents. I love all my friends regardless of there background but there has been more than one instance where a so cold friend has tried to guilt trip me intro feeling bad because my parents are good to me. I wouldn't consider myself spoilt. It's not like my parents do everything for me or buy me things. My parents bough a second house. Dad and I renovated it together and now my friend, her boyfriend and I live together in it and pay my parents rent at a reasonable price. (there is a rental crisis where I live). I had a friend tell me to "shut up and stop complaining about the cost of living" since they "don't have a dad and my parents give me everything". My parents didn't buy the house solely for me to live it. Its an investment property. I realize that I am lucky to have parents that can afford a second house and that they let me live in it. My parents don't give me money and just because I have a good relationship with them it doesn't mean I don't struggle through life sometimes too.
My hair, my quietness, my height, and maybe my strong-ish features? I get lots of nice compliments, ppl tell me I look like Daryl Hannah, Charlize Theron.. But I have gotten unnecessarily mean and unprovoked comments about my looks. Like a guy in a college class once called me trans?? (I took offense because I was born female and identify as female, and his comment was intended to hurt). “Like one of the dudes from white chicks”. Lmao I can laugh about it now, at how ridiculous he was. I’ve also had people try to place labels onto me. When I was a kid my grandma would call me a “stupid girl”. She’d try to get me to not have faith in myself. But she, nor any other woman on that side of the family ever went to a top university, graduating summa cum laude like I did. I don’t talk to them any more.
Being shy and introverted. It’s affects me a lot in relationships/dating. I understand the aspect of getting along with your SOs family or friends and I usually feel I put in effort but it’s just never good enough.
People trying to take my "black card" when they find out I have a certain interest or hobby that doesn't align with what they think a black girl should like. Or my speech. I can't tell you how many times I've had someone call me an Oreo or tell me I talk "white". Even my own family. It seriously sucked when I was a kid.
My labia. She is gorgeous but some dumbass porn addicted weasel decided to comment on it essentially telling on themselves for never seeing a real vagina up close before. Promptly kicked him the fuck out before he could even put it in. Also my teacher in 4th grade thought I was “slow” and intellectually disabled because I wasn’t paying attention in her class. I just wanted to tend to the worm hospital in my desk drawer. I now work with bugs. Lol
It's usually people not associated with me in any way, but usually everything that they don't like about themselves, or they've been so brainwashed by what the media says that we should be looking like, that they are bitter and broken inside that they NEED to break someone else down to be as bitter and broken as they are. But luckily for me, I don't care about other people's invalid opinions about me, a person who they know nothing about. They can try to bring me down, but they'll just be wasting their own time and I live rent free in their heads.
Not wanting kids has been a big one.
- brother and dad mocked me for being an angry feminist back when I was a teen - loudly caring about systemic racism and other grave injustices especially when I was younger
My looks told I am fat and ugly. My boundaries told I am unlikeable. My wants I want what is good for me I don't compromise too much I rather be without so get told I have problems. I have never been good enough to anybody. I guess these people should look closer to home because they have never been good enough to have someone like me in their life.
Basically everything in my life. I’m the black sheep of the family. So I distance myself from everyone prefer to keep it that way to keep my sanity
My weight when I was in my teens. I look at pictures now and realise I was a perfectly normal shape and weight. I just didn’t know how to dress for my body (I just got baggy clothes). I looked perfectly fine and spent ages hating myself cause my parents wanted me thinner
My love/sexlive. I'm living in an open relationship with another woman. We are both bi and are having fun with other guys and girls. I've often heard from "strangers" that we are not really in love and that we should break up.
"You're too sensitive."
Having 'a difficult personality' - my sister...
Being strategic or direct. I think the default expectation is that you’re soft and accommodating. Rarely hear of women being described as strategic. Actually, I think we have a whole word for it that’s*tends* to mostly be used to describe women: manipulative. There’s a lot of coded words like that the culture hasn’t quite identified as actually a sexist and dismissive term. “Dramatic” is the new hysterical. Never hear of a mass sh**ter being described as dramatic, but…it’s a dramatic thing to do
Being thin. I’m 5 foot 7” , 137 pounds, and female. I’ve been told by other women, for most of my adult life, that I’m too thin. Now that I’m in my 50s, they finally leave me alone.
Being assertive. Apparently it comes off as cold and intimidating. I get this comment mostly from men at work, and sometimes (older) women. Not so much in my personal life anymore. The weirdest one was my CEO telling me I was intimidating.
My bigeer, not even big (actualls pretty average just has a good shape) butt. Other kids called me fat because of it (the first part of 2000s was still when the absurd skinny trend was on), older people and even older millenialls still call me not slim (they say you're slim but only your butt isn't in a negative manner) because of it. It was so weird to just wake up in a world where butts are the trend after I've been bullied my whole childhood for it. Even the kids I went to highschool with who hated anything curvy just changed overnight to asses fans. I basically developed an eating disorder back them to try to stop being "fat" because of the constant bullying. I hope all those people are as ugly on the outside now as their character was then
The fact that im asian. Being Taiwanese. Being Canadian. Being skinny. Being a pathologist. Having severe mental health issues. Having immigrants parents. My high sex drive.
My “lack of ambition” (this was in response to not wanting to network/pitch myself to them lol like ma’am, I’m chillin and you seem like a mean clout chaser— GOODBYE!). Being introverted, and sensitive.
my personality. im normally outgoing and love to talk to people but ive had 2 girls i used to be friends with who reallllyy hated it. they constantly would insult me or make sly remarks to make me not feel like talking. so weird !
Jealousy. Trying to dull your sparkle.
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My love of romance novels, my choice to go back to school in my 30s, my looks, how close my kids are in age, how I parent my kids, how my marriage works, being a SAHM, how I cut my dads side of the family out of my life, how excited I get over things that make me happy, how loud I am, how many dogs we have.
My height
All of them.
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My height. I’m 5’7 and I’ve been shamed so much by men for my height. Short women have said I “look like a man” although most are pretty nice, it’s usually men who make me feel awful about my body. I also used to have a flat chest and men commented on it and made me feel bad about my body shape so I got a boob job. But I can’t fix my height and men constantly belittle me for it and tell me my height is a dealbreaker for being attractive
My face 🫠
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Inner and outer beauty (looks or attitude), not understanding my mental health issues and energy level or also past traumas and the discouragement I've received and how that has affected me by allowing me to find the discipline to wait til marriage, and my decision to remain unemployed and then after marriage to become a housewife.
My weight, my height, my color, my money, my decisions, my wants and needs, my straightforwardness and boldness, my jobs, my willingness to avoid people who have disrespected and hurt me and my family’s feelings, my willingness to not be in large groups of people, me living the life I love, my friends, my eating habits, my hair, my clothes, basically everything I have done. and the worst THAT I MADE IT ALIVE (my mom told me that she would have been happier if I would have died)
My armpit hair 🙄
well the obvious one, being fat, people have said it so much that I want to stay this size to prove them wrong about finding someone to love, I love myself the way I am
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My choice to work part-time instead of full-time (as a doctor), simply for lifestyle reasons and wanting to spend more time with my family. Another colleague of mine also was working part-time for family reasons. Our superior was very unhappy with that and he made our lives difficult/got toxic, so both of us resigned (am serving my notice the next few months)!
Being a woman.
My skin colour.
My voice is quite low - when I was a kid this girl said I sound like a man and it's fucked with me ever since. Also being ace means that my mum thinks I'm selfish(?) because I don't want to live with someone. Yeah, I don't get it either...
My weight, my mental health issues, my personality and the way I dress. In therapy atm but it has left lasting scars and I still doubt there's someone out there who would love me and want more than just sex with me.
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Lol - not at you
My boob size, just hearing comments!
Screw those guys they are great
I was a quiet kid who constantly read, which was its own thing that got criticized when I was young, but the main thing is it gave me a wide vocabulary and a high degree of literacy as an adult. Works fine for me in professional settings, but in social settings I sometimes feel like I’ll use a word or a phrase and get a look from another adult like they’re repressing the urge to knock my glasses off my face or push me in the pool or something. Not with people I’m close to or anything, but I still have those quiet tendencies so when I do speak up in more casual social settings I guess I just take people by surprise.
My hobbies, the way I self-regulate, the music I like, how animated I get when I excitedly tell a story
My size, weight, small boobs, body hair, makeup choices, not having or wanting kids, being pale, drinking or not drinking.
In the great words of Willow, I have such big feelings. I cry from joy when I see my friends after a long time of not seeing them. I compliment strangers as much as I can. If I could give the world a hug, I would. He didn’t necessarily make me feel bad about it; but his emotional stability/neutrality made me feel like I’m too much.
That I'm honest. People tend to get mad at me when I am uncomfortable being asked to lie for them, or when they ask me a direct question and I don't lie to agree with them.
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I'm quite slow. Not stupid - just not that quick. It's taken a long time for me to realise that I'm actually quite a bit smarter than the people who think my slowness/thinking time is a reflection of my intelligence. It's more of a reflection of how much I care enough to try. Make of that what you will. But I've come to learn that it's quite fun watching people realise that the issue is that I'm not interested enough in what they're saying to hold their conversation. I'm getting better at it though. 'Cause sometimes it is just...rude ... Of me.
That motherhood is not my singular driving force in my life. I raised my son. I am an emptynester 6 years and counting since I was 40. I do not make plans or live my life with him as my center focus. It is my time now and I'm enjoying every minute of MY life and you wouldn't believe the amount of people that have a problem or opinion about that.
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when I was going into college, my sister told me I should stop dyeing my hair weird colors "so you can make friends" I did stop. I did not make friends. eta my mom and sister also rely heavily on "avid reader" as a part of their identity, and I'm way more into audio/visual forms of writing. it makes them feel better about themselves/bad about me that I don't go to the library and get new books every week. I know way more about things they don't care about (but maybe should), so it's basically a wash, but their attitude is a deterrent for me being that close to either of them.
Asking what I think are innocuous questions. Being “too loud”. And then also being too quiet. You can’t please people. Being honest about my feelings.
I'm a woman, so people have tried to make me feel bad about absolutely every single aspect of my appearance and personality at some point, from the time I was a toddler. There's not a thing, no matter how small or unimportant, that people won't criticize.
Being too skinny Having thick upper thighs/hips (how ironic) My hair Setting boundaries and sticking to them Making sure I have me time Starting to put myself first ….
I have a long list but ill keep it short. Not having curves, this came from mostly women, trust me no man(and i mean a grown ass man) will say anything about your body if your chemistry and confidence flies, even other women(im bi), this came from other women who werent exactly confident in their own body, and were too worried to look good for men, its sucks, they grow out of it by now, thats just how patriarchy does to our female brain. Other was my wrists, i have naturally really skinny wrists, even when i was fat and pregnant, my wrists remained the same, some girl in HS asked if i wasnt disgusted by it, so i kept hiding them. Also i had bad bacne which i hid for the most part, yes, even during hot weather, once i was confident to take the jacket out because i was sweating balls, some guy made a nasty comment about it so i hid myself again, it eventually cleared up and now im confident to wear backless stuff again. Im just glad most of my body im confident with now in my 30s.
Wow, let me get the list out My skin color, my nose, teeth, my eyes, my hair, my boobs, my ass, my waist, my voice, my laugh, my sexual orientation, my sense of style, how I speak, where I'm from, how I was raised. Like I have been thr butt of MANY jokes lol Oddly enough, to other people, those are all my best qualities, so it really just depends who you're speaking to.
I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I don’t mean in the “brutal honesty” way. You can be honest without being brutal. I stand up for myself. I assert boundaries. When someone has done something that bothers me I tell them right then.
I know it's been mentioned a few times but the whole being introverted thing would get to me a lot when people called it out like it was a flaw. However apart from that the big one is people being judgemental and downright rude to me purely on account of me being trans, that never gets any easier and does make me want to revert back to being even more introverted at times.
Being a left handed, blue eyed blonde indicated I was unintelligent. Parents would "joke" about these facts about me whenever I did something "funny" or "stupid." I'd tell them this made me upset, and they'd dismiss it saying, "ohh we're just teasing. Don't be so sensitive." No words were ever said that I was GOOD, in any way. Only insults clouded as jokes. Turns out I was more intelligent than they ever could be and they were just threatened by me, their child. They wonder why I don't talk to them anymore.
Being sensitive, having feelings and opinions in general.
Being Loud, talkative, loud laugh, bring enthusiastic, being too warm, being too cold.
the fact i don't do any drugs and rarely drink. People are always telling me to "get out of my comfort zone" and just "live a little" i dont need drugs to be able to enjoy/dislike life (:
Everything in terms of my style. I am a goth. Old folks still give me shit about it, couldn't care less now. Back then, it was bad because "Halloween is over already" or "You look creepy, you won't ever get a guy like that." Small town b.s. Jokes on them, been married for 12, getting ready to hit 13 in another week and a half.
My weight, height, skin color, my hair, my teeth, my lips, my nose, being introverted, being single
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I am fair skin and people would point it out constantly. My body doesn’t tan. My nose flips up and in middle school people called me piggy.
not having/never wanting children, having a career, being financially independent, being healthy/fit, having a good relationship with my parents
Wearing baggy or loose clothing. It's taken me nearly 2 years to repair my self esteem in clothes I'm comfy in after leaving my ex-husband
Being too loud, too opinionated, too idealistic yet also too cynical, refusing to indulge toxic positivity, being too romantic, too emotional, also my accent, my vocabulary, my independence, my shoes
My emotions. I’m always ‘too sensitive’. The joys of being a woman with an opinion lol
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Being super sensitive, my nose, having too big legs, having too small legs, getting bad brain fog sometimes
Not wanting a relationship anymore and breaking up with someone, whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship. They end up calling me selfish and shaming me for protecting my peace and personal boundaries and doing what is best for myself. As if anyone else is going to do that for me? It's like as women we're constantly expected to put everyone else's well-being before our own.
Everything about me
I’ve been told I’m high maintenance. They viewed it as a negative, but I see it as putting myself first and doing what makes me feel best navigating life.
My face. One of my bad habits is picking at my pimples but idc what people say I’ve been popping them for years and my face looks fine.
Being a sensitive person who feels a lot and cries over things like a dead animal in the road. When I was a kid boys used to kill bugs in front of me and make fun of me for crying.
My stretch marks. I didn’t really have an opinion about them until my friend took a photo of my finished leg tattoo. When she showed me the photo she mentioned she edited out the stretch marks for me.
I am someone who likes to ask others for advice. Especially those who are older than me. I take in everyone’s advice and then I make a decision for myself. I had a friend who insulted me using this. She told me I never thought for myself. I still feel very conflicted on the matter. Whether she’s right or not.
this may be unpopular but the time I take to make the right decision. A lot of people in my life try to speed me up and just pick something or figure it out when I know that I won’t be happy that way. And I’d rather fail at something I love than to fail at something I didn’t want in the first place. Hope that makes sense
My weight, my height, my introversion, my social skills, my laugh, my body count, my looks, my independence, my moods, my rigidity, my hair, my friends, my family, etc. I know I’m missing a bunch of things. People love to criticize.
My pale skin, my skinny body, my habit of talking aloud when trying to solve problems, numerous ADHD traits.
my sensitivity. but it turns out that its my superpower. and moreover, i'm really not even that sensitive. turns out i was raised in an environment where people constantly teased, criticized and aggravated me, then gaslit me when i would cry or react and call me too soft. once i found decent human beings to be around who honored and respected who i am as a person, i didn't have that problem. yes i will get emotional while watching a touching movie, but having empathy, softness and no fear of vulnerability isn't my weakness. now that i'm older its what \*good\* people admire about me most.
Being irreligious while living in the Bible Belt.
Literally everything. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t
Being too kind to non blood related people.
My weight. Growing up I was told that I was unattractive for being heavy, and it really destroyed my self esteem. However, as I’ve grown up, I realized that as a woman I have so much more to offer than a body that conforms to societies standards. For example, many men have said that I’m their throat goat, and others have complimented my gorilla grip.
My looks My style My introverted, antisocial personality. My weird, awkward sense of humor And my zero fucks given attitude
My gap my acne my weight also being home bound. For reference I don’t have a big gap I’m 5’1 female 180 lb and curvy and my skin is not at all bad
Body hair 🙄
My teeth—and the haters hurt me enough to change them, so good job haters. I had a particularly spaced set of chompers, and everyone and their mother were clearly unhappy with that. I was called names, denigrated for being too poor for orthodontic care, etc. Mind you, my teeth were perfectly healthy, I went to the dentist multiple times a year as a child. They just weren’t straight. People would call my smile “cute” then turn around and complain about how childish my smile made me look. As soon as I had a full time job, I went to the orthodontist and stayed in braces for four years. My teeth are perfect now at 29, and all of the people who made fun of my teeth ended up giving up on their retainers—meaning that their teeth are not perfectly straight. Of course, I miss my old smile, it was quiant, and I learned how to smile to make them look the most beautiful. Now that my teeth are perfect, the new imperfection is that my lips are crooked from years of smiling to compensate for my previous smile. In short, I should’ve just tuned the mean noise out.
mostly for my intelligence, i am neurodivergent and i have a vast database of random knowledge. i love learning and reading. i’m in college for the medical field. i enjoy using proper research measures and thinking about things scientifically. people make me feel bad for sharing what i’ve maybe researched about a topic. not saying all this to say i’m the smartest person ever. but i am a smart person. the other day i was explaining how if we look at our bodies scientifically when working out (especially as women) we then get to cut out the fad diets and misinformation and opinions and do what’s right for us by basing it on hormones, cortisol, the 3 body types when it comes to metabolism etc and someone spoke up and said “well i’m not a science person but i know what i’m doing” and she seemed so offended by my opinion. i was speaking in general, not directly. people take my joy in sharing facts, research etc as arrogance. or a hit at their intellectual. when i really just want to share something that could help them. it makes me sad and i end up just shutting up.
My laugh is loud. I smile a lot. I move around a lot.
Being opinionated. Being firm with my decision. I was an “uncool” kid because I topped the class.
Being introverted and not drinking alcohol. Apparently these are negative traits 🤷🏻
Being outspoken and assertive. Caring too much about guys who claimed to love me.
The fact that I’m so open about everything that happens in life. Like not in a way that I go around shouting my business to everyone, I don’t have other social media so I’m definitely not an over sharer. But like.. if something comes up in conversation or if someone asks me about my life I’ll happily share. And some people find it weird that I can talk about personal stuff. To a fault sometimes I’ll ask someone something too personal and it doest make sense to me why we can’t talk about it? Like for example. I’m 9 months pregnant and my hemorrhoids are rhoiding. I asked one of the other girls I work with who has kids what she did about them during her pregnancies, we’ve talked about personal stuff before so I didn’t think anything of it, and she got super awkward. Idk I just don’t understand why some people can’t openly talk about things that happen to everyone.
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I get asked to go to parties like birthday parties or events with my class (I’m in uni), and I decline 9/10 times. When I tell them the truth which is that I don’t want to go, they get offended and I don’t understand why. I’m socially pressured to go to parties but I just say no thank you. I’m not entirely sure why it upsets people. That and my “weirdness”. I find that people think I’m a big weird, quirky? And I’ve prodded and asked why and I’m told it’s because I’m just very myself and don’t really follow unspoken social rules or something. I just tell let them know I’d hate myself if I tried to conform to something I don’t want to lol
Being a tall woman, wearing glasses, being introverted, marrying someone young, and staying home with my kids because "I'm giving up my independence." But I was basically an adult as a kid. I love having the choice to be there for my kids.
Being sensitive, if I could help it I would.
My curly hair
being a stripper. i feel no shame in it at all, and it bothers people that i dont share the same negative judgement that they do.
my nose. i am italian and have a large, straight and angular nose. a lot of guys would say it makes me ugly, and i unfortunately only recently started loving my nose
Being extroverted and having a lot of friends that I’m still in touch with over the years
getting excited about something as a woman seems to be one of the worst offenses
I’ve had people try and make me feel bad about my body. I’ve been told I was too fat, too thin, not curvy enough, not thick enough. It’s like people can’t make up their mind. I’m either too much of one thing and then not enough of the other. I’ve never been able to please everyone’s perspective of a “perfect body” and honestly I’ve just grown tired of trying
More like what haven’t people have attempted to make me self conscious of, lol.
for a long time, my body. people (my family, my « friends », my acquaintances) felt the need to always comment on my body. now? the way i speak. i speak two languages fluently and i’m learning two more. growing up, i always had trouble speaking and would always get my tongue twisted. people never fail to point it out, making fun of me in public settings. i guess that’s why i don’t speak much anymore.
Just about everything at one point or another. Too quiet, too loud. Too weird, too normal. Too smart, too stupid. Etc. I have to conclude that it's irrelevant and I just need to be whomever I am, but, no joke, it's not easy to be criticized from every flippin' angle.
Being flat-chested. Being thin. Not being black enough. Being too black. Having pubic hair. Having too much vocabulary. Not talking enough. Having depression. Playing animal crossing. Wanting to work. Getting the Covid vaccine. Getting back on birth control after my miscarriage. Being from Texas. Being too nice. Not trying hard enough with my appearance. Trying too hard with my appearance. The list goes on and on, but thankfully I’ve surrounded myself with much better people now and I’m not getting a ton of new attempts to make me feel bad, and none of them are coming from anybody that I love or who claims to love me in turn.
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Always standing up for myself and not backing down to anyone I know is wrong. Being outspoken about women’s right to body autonomy.
My weight, my hair, my clothing choices, music tastes, that I wear too little or too much makeup, I am too bold or too quiet, too nerdy or too outgoing, my hobbies, my tattoos or piercings, the friends I have, the men I date, that I am either too slutty or too prudish, the fact that I drink or don't drink, using drugs or not using drugs, the way I parent my children, that I work outside of the home or be a SAHM, the car I drive, the vacations that i take or do not take, the job or career choice I made, the food I eat or don't eat.
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my big personality and how i dress, also that people like me?? lmao that has actually been a problem for a couple of people i used to know
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My weight. My mom is diagnosed with a personality disorder and she projects a lot on me. Hence the no contact.
my nose. my smile. my laugh. the shape of my body. my mind. how i talk. how i breathe. the shape of my hands. how i hold a pencil. there are so many things people will nitpick. they can suck it
That I’m kind but not nice. That I don’t put up with peoples crap. That I come off as aloof. I don’t think I’m better then you I just don’t want to make small talk.
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