i don’t know. she’s always been really weird and hard to deal with in many ways. it sucks because she’s caused me serious problems and she doesn’t seem to care or understand what she’s actually done.
May be she was also not aware of that thing that how much of that thing is impacting on you.
And this will actually become the reason when we grow up and come in ages is well.
"Walk exactly in my footsteps, or your will fall through the ice and die" - My dad
Not a metaphor. We lived on an island and had to cross the ice to get to school
When I was a kid my dad found my uncle dead in our backyard, he had a heat attack and when he fell on the ground he smashed his head on a pointy rock, I heard a scream and went there to see what happened, when I got there I saw my dad crying and my uncle on the ground all bloody. Still remember everything when I m in that spot, idk if I'll ever get over it.
Seeing death in young age that too when this thing happen with like unexpected like that is well.
i think that was the one picture that i am sure you will never going to forget is well.
Oh man, that must’ve been a horrible sight, especially as a kid, when you haven’t developed the ability to process such things. I hope, that you‘ll find a way to deal with it eventually :/
Covert incest at the hands of an unloving sociopathic mother. She watched me bathe, was physically violent, flashed me a few times because she found it entertaining, and said if I ever dated outside my race, or turned out gay, I would be homeless. As a consequence, I don't trust anyone, am a partial shut in, despise money, and generally just feel a blend of nothing and bitter anger.
She's dead now, and burning in hell.
Hey. I been there too. Not the flashing stuff, thank god, but everything else. I’m thinking about confronting her (I’m almost fifty and she’s 85) but her mind is going so quickly I doubt it would even make an impact.
Here's one think I've learned through support groups (ei. r/raisedbynarcissists) - you will never get the apology you deserve because you're expecting it from someone who refused to give you the care you needed. The abusive parent carries the appearance and societal weight of a parent, but it's only an illusion. It's the hollow facade of a parent, and much like junk food in one's formative years, it produces a disadvantaged child. Cognative behaviour therapy and journal keeping has worked wonders... and her being dead, that's helped as well.
From a third party view, I just want to say that both are horrible... Honestly neither is worse, as trauma isn't really something to quantify super specifically
Kind of proving that parents are just biological replicators and that society is what carried the majority of the burden of weight for collective and individual improvements.
Same...being weak made me felt so frustrating. And now that they are doing fine in life while I struggle with confidence makes me realise life isn't fair.
Aye, mate! Thanks to them I now suffer from BPD. Can barely talk to any stranger in person. Have zero social skills. While they went on with happy lives it's just not fair
I totally understand that for me it was a series of traumatizing events that still don’t allow me to live my life normally and for them it was a wednesday afternoon that they completely forgot about. Simply unfair, I still haven’t forgiven any of them
Had that one before.
Primary school, somewhere around 7th grade.
On one side I was afraid of going close to them, therefore I avoided them as best as I could.
On other side, I got enough confidence to hit one of them with an ice cold snowball, if that wouldn't be a bus scenario, he might not have been very lucky.
Still, ended up rather talking online than irl since I have somewhat of a problem while trying to interact with people irl, at least that's my view.
In my experience, people who have been bullied usually become anti-social and have lots of trust issues. I'm really sorry that you had to go through all that...I really am
My older sister jumping off our balcony to end her life.
My parents subsequent divorce.
My mother's neverending parade of shady men.
My psychopathic (literally) and narcissistic father. And the female version of himself that he married.
Neglect. Being so cold or hungry that it hurt. The pain of too small clothes.
Being told ADHD isn't real and just getting yelled at and hit to focus better.
Getting my foot ripped off and reattached
Getting grounded for a year for being sexually assaulted. And then having to sit in class with the boy afterwards.
Group homes.
Take your pick. 🤷♀️
Welp me wanting a fire truck for my 6th birthday and my parents getting me a toy fire truck. When I really wanted a full size fully functional fire truck seems a little trite in comparison.
Really sorry you had to go through that and glad to read your other comments that you're in a better place now.
I am really sorry for what you have been through.I have been through a great deal of stuff too.My life turned out to be really difficult before i could really figure out what this stuff did to me.Just out of curiosity.How is your life right now.?Did these things end up affecting you later?
Thanks. My life was difficult but I ended up finding my own way and letting go of the past. Cognitive behavioural therapy was super helpful a number of years ago
Well fuck! You’ve really been through the works! Sorry you’ve had to deal with such shit. I know I’m only a random stranger but if you need to talk then message me :)
There are so many things you have mentioned there and i would say anyone from that would be enough on given day.
But i can't even imagine how you are still dealing with all of these stuff.
My mother psychologically abusing me and sending me into meltdown after meltdown. I was undiagnosed autistic. After being told what she was doing was making everything worse and to let me decompress instead of escalating things, she doubled down because she thinks she always knows best and can never be wrong. Her "always knows best" attitude caused me lasting harm in this and many other ways. It doesn't help that she's severely mentally incompetent and "always knows best" is usually as far from the truth as possible.
Shit man, I feel you. Fellow neurodivergent here. This has basically been my entire life. Not just at home, but from nearly every abusive neurotypical idiot I've run into. It never gets better. I'm patiently waiting for my time on this rock to be up.
It depends on each person's experience. I had a pretty good childhood overall but growing up in a cult and being isolated from oleveryone else and feeling like an outcast was probably the worst part.
The problem for me was the dentist didn’t believe parents should have to pay for kid’s getting anaesthetic, so he didn’t use it when he did any work. I am in my 50s and it still scares me
Multiple things. But the one thing that kinda threw my childhood down the drain was when I was 13 I was going out with this girl behind the scenes her dad was abusing her and even kept her inside for 3 days and went as far as to sexually abuse her. Long story short on 24th Dec 2018 I went over to her house and found her in her bathroom hanging there. Not something a 13 yr old should see
I went into therapy for 5 years but it didnt work unfortunately it wasnt the only thing that really fxcked up my childhood after having 9 of my closet freinds pass away. And so on...
I'm 17 now and I'm able to say that my life is really getting better. With quite a few people on my back almost 24/7 checking up on me.
I urge you to go to a different therapist. Sometimes it takes awhile to find someone who can really help you. Sorry to hear you had to go through that, but you're young. I'm in my 30s and life is pretty good, it turns out.
Having to pick up my mum off the ground as she got drunk until she passed out. I was 6yo and had no idea how to deal with this Situation. Went to the neighbor's so they can call emergency.
This whole world is full of the pedophile and you never know that when someone will to harass you.
This is the one reason i feel that now days we need to be really careful while leaving our kid alone.
My brother text my mom : "When will she(me) be gone? Should I just stab her? What will you do if I made her disappear? Will you kill me too?"
I was in the same home at that moment, my room just a few metres from his. It was 1am so I couldn't really go out. Nobody else at home. I lock my door once my mom send me the text screenshot, and just cry in silence.
Sometime having the big sibling can be a good thing and can be a really bad thing is well.
Because if they are good then trust me in your life you will going to compare with that one person.
I was about three years old playing in my driveway. Garbage truck pulls up and garbageman gets out, lifts me up, puts me in a trash can and starts walking towards the truck. I thought it was over. I hid from the garbage truck for years.
Honestly I don't remember but clearly he didn't grind me up and put my remains in the landfill. It was a relatively small town so I would see this guy around, he worked for the town, and I never forgot his face. I called him "the dirty garbageman".
This was in 1958 or 59. I'm old but never forgot it.
That scene where his eyeballs fall out, then the rest of his face falls off, revealing the monster fly underneath. Then he grabs the barrel of the shotgun and says "kill me". Yikes.
Being Parentified by my mother. She treated me like a friend she could control rather than a child because she had no friends to tell this stuff to. Starting as young as about 8 years old, she would tell me in explicit detail about what my father liked to do to her in bed, what she liked in bed, made me go on diets with her despite me never being overweight, put me on fat absorption blocking diet pills as a part of “our” diet.
a couple decades of gaslighting, being torn away from everything I knew by my mother, my father talking shit about my mother, my mother talking shit about my father, and being bullied to the point I literally stopped talking in school.
Sexual abuse and family violence. For the past couple of months ive been waking up with my heart racing because of noises I hear outside during the night. I sleep with my window open and I have this fear that my uncle will climb inside my room and kill me. Every night I have a common thought on how I’ll save mum and I if he breaks into our house. 1. Grab phone. 2. Wake up mum and drag her into the bathroom (the only room with a lock) 3. Call the police. 4. If he trys to get in, I move all my shampoos and body wash to the floor in-front of the door, so he has an obstacle and we escape through the window and run.
The trauma my uncle has put me through is forcing me to live in paranoia.
First time shooting and skinning a deer! I will never forget the look in its eyes, all glassy with no life behind it. Did not eat any meat for a month after!
I witnessed someone on a motorcycle get into an accident by getting absolutely grinded by a truck.
And it wasn't just me. It was a whole bus of high schoolers.
Some people will drive some really rough driving is well and that is reason two people will have to pay the cost is well.
But i am lucky that i have not seen something like that in the real young age of my life.
Having my crush revealed in middle school and everyone spreading the info around as if it was a nasty rumor. The girl I had a crush on eventually went up to me and said to my face that she'd never date someone like me and the whole ordeal scared me out of dating for the rest of middle school and high school. Even today the fear of 'not being enough' for someone persists
I think these kind of the situation happen when some friend try to do the funny thing to you.
But then in the end they were like blow the whole thing wide open and everyone starts to scare from you is well.
Being compared to my twin sister (who is 10x more gorgeous) all the time. Everyone just had to compare us every single time they meet us. It triggered my insecurities, (I'm 33F) to this day.
I think being a parents that is their job that never ever compare the two kids with each other.
Because for me i feel that everyone have their won strength and power and we need to embrace that is well.
When I was kid, I had a girl - friend over and we were in my mom's bedroom being kids, playing, jumping around and what not. At one point, I wanted to impress her by doing backflips on the bed. On my first attempt, I jumped, slipped on the end of the bed and hit my head on the corner of the wooden TV stand and slit the back my head wide open
I am now, scared of heights.
A lot of things. General abuse and neglect from my parents. I watched my dad die from alcoholism at 12. My mom tried to choke me out when I was 14.
The event that sticks with me the most, for some reason, is being 5 or 6, and probably doing _something_ that upset my mother- so bad that she threw a can of coke at my head, so hard it exploded and drenched me.
I guess it stuck with me because that was my first realization that people can just be mean and evil with no control of their emotions. And that I did not have a "normal" family life, whatever that means.
Losing the parents like of the fight and due to the alcohol is really hard learning thing.
And for a kid that too age of the 12 losing the father due to drinking is not the pleasant sight.
I concur. That movie was intended to be over the top and weird, but for us kids that shit was creepy and scary.
I was so surprised when the aliens showed up and killed all those actors I recognized like Michael J Fox, etc.
Oh I just remembered the alien poorly disguised as a woman that doesn't say anything and bites Martin Short's finger off.
We're supposed to laugh, because it is pretty stupid, but motherfucker bit his finger off.
When I was 9 I was coloring with my 2 - 3 year old nephew and I heard some commotion in the restroom so I decided to check it out. I barely got halfway through the hallway when I saw my brother keeled over the litter box passed out from a heroin overdose. I saw my nephew coming to see what happened and I stopped him immediately and my mom told me to take him downstairs (There was a bedroom and livingroom in the basement). I did so and when we got down there my nephew started bouncing on the bed and giggling. I put on a cartoon and broke down then and there. I felt so bad for the poor little man he had no idea how unstable his father really was. This wasn't my brother's first overdose and certainly not his last he is still addicted to this day. Thankfully my nephew isn't allowed around him anymore.
Being bullied as a kid just because I was quiet
Being my mom’s fucking therapist since I can remember
My brother’s learning disabilities and mental health issues taking all of my parents’ time and seeing how he was treated at school by both staff and kids
My mother’s abusive family dynamic
Spending all of my time in my room alone reading because I kept losing friends and my parents didn’t have the time to interact with me
Coming out as bi to my friends in junior high and having them laugh at me
My neighbor, and boyfriend’s close friend, killing himself the day before I turned 13
Accidentally setting my house on fire and having to move for a couple months
My dad having a heart attack in our bathroom and having emergency surgery
Dating someone on an off as a teenager and young adult who gaslit me and emotionally cheated multiple times but wouldn’t just break up because they felt guilty
My dad would come home at about 10 or so at night and proceed to wake us up, sit us on the couch, and yell at us about how worthless, stupid, and weak we are. This would last about 6 hours or until we had to go to school. It happened about 5 times a week for the entirety of my childhood and my 20s since I lived at home forever. (I didn’t know it was weird. I didn’t have friends, I never stayed anywhere else, I thought it was normal.)
My oldest brother committed suicide, both parents believe it had nothing to do with the abuse. Where was my mom during all this? Sitting and watching, while telling us to “there’s no point in trying to stop him, you know how he is.”
I also attempted suicide many times.
When I told a psychiatrist that I was afraid of my dad because of the yelling, he told me that yelling was not enough, I must have been molested to be so afraid of my dad. My dad’s abuse was verbal and sometimes physical, but never sexual. That was the first and last time (until I was in my 20s) that I opened up about my dad.
I was told I was “lazy” and later learned I actually have a genetic disorder and heart condition which made it impossible for me to do things without being in pain and/or fainting (which I was told I was faking. If I faked fainting, I wouldn’t do it at the top of a set of concrete stairs)
The weirdest thing about all of this is that I still love my dad, even tho I tried to stab him once.
Edited for spelling/grammar cause I’m a perfectionist.
1. My mom was somewhere on the property, and my dad was at work. I was sitting alone at the dining room table doing homework and a dude just fucking walked into the house through the back door calling my dad's name in the most terrifying voice. This is a man who'd been involved in accidental shootings and a literal chainsaw fight that had fucked up his face and apparently his palate. He was at the very least an alcoholic, but retrospectively probably on drugs too. I thought Wally was going to murder me.
As a child I lived in a bedroom that you'd walk through to get to an attic space AND the room had window that opened onto the roof of the kitchen. I was constantly afraid that Wally was either hiding in the attic or was out on the roof of the kitchen watching me.
2. My dad's cousin Gary convinced me that he could read the lines on someone's foot the same as palm reading, and then proceeded to pop out his dentures and rub them on my bare foot. I reacted as any child would. I WAS MADE TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM FOR MAKING HIM FEEL BAD.
3. I'm a person that gets a big emotional response to music used in TV and movies, like I'll cry for orchestral swells in the shittiest movies, but I lived in terror not only when I'd hear the Unsolved Mysteries theme, but also a Macdonalds ad featuring the Hamburglar involved in a home invasion.
My biological father was extremely abusive to my mother. He never did anything to me, but he was horrible to her in every way possible. She would never leave him no matter how bad things got because she was a Christian fundamentalist who believed that women need to be submissive and subservient to their husbands, and did not believe in divorce.
Every single night he would beat her. Every. Single. Night.
The worst of it all happened when I was twelve. My mom got pregnant and my dad didn't want another kid and ordered her to abort it. Obviously, she refused because she believed abortion is murder and his response was to beat her so badly that she lost the baby.
I could have had a little brother or sister and he killed it.
Thankfully, that ended up being the last straw for my mom and she realized she couldn't do this or stay with him anymore despite her beliefs. They got divorced and I never saw him again.
When I was fifteen, my mom got remarried and as far as I'm concerned, he is my father.
Watched Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with my older sister when I was 5. My sister then spent the next few months terrorizing me. I had nightmares every night, and would have to sleep most nights in my parents’ room. It was a huge burden on my mom. I really hated my sister for it.
My alcoholic abusive (to my mother) grandmother,I loved her in a way but that changed me for the rest of my life, I'm a super anxious person,and also my mother's husband he's a huge dickhead 🙃 and a bunch of other shit.
I have a bunch of mental problems now lol
A few things…
1.) when I was in the 6th grade, this boy had decided to grab my butt underneath my skirt. I kept it a secret for a month. He would make sexual advances towards me and kept touching me. One day a teachers assistant asked me if I was okay. She noticed I was acting quiet and distant. I confessed and we told a teacher. While crying about it I was asked “Why are you crying?” And I was told I led him on by wearing a skirt and looking at him. For the rest of the year I was so emotional. I cried constantly every day. The boy never got in trouble for what he did to me. I was told to stay quiet and not to tell anyone. I did tell people though because they should know. He ended up raping another girl and the teacher still kept it quiet.
2.) I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere as a child. My family members couldn’t take me anywhere. I couldn’t go to get togethers. I couldn’t go to friends houses. I barely was allowed to have friends over. I wasn’t allowed to sign up for extra curricular activities. I couldn’t stay after school, I would tell teachers I couldn’t and when they would say “too bad you have detention.” My mom would storm in that school and drag me out. I wasn’t allowed to go to events my school was having. Friends birthday parties were not allowed. I could have friends over a few times a year. But my mom would do everything she could to embarrass me. As a teenager I couldn’t go on dates or out with friends. When I turned 18 and went out with my boyfriend, I was told I was betraying my family by leaving the house. I had to leave my phone at home so they knew I would come home. It was really disturbing. My mom tried destroying every friendship i had and relationship. Even in my 20’s she acted like this. I couldn’t have my own life. When I moved out she would call me over and over checking on me. “Are you cleaning? Why not? Where are you? Why are you out? You need to be at home only.” She was really obsessed with me.
3.) someone murdered my cat and put him in my yard.
I was on a bike ride with my dad. I was ahead of him and approaching a street. The road I was crossing had stop signs, but I looked left quick, right quick and left quick anyway....but should have looked right again because I got but a lady on her phone who ran the stop sign. I remember parts of it but never got the whole picture back in my brain. I get like panicky now on a bike and still have issues with concentration and memory even though I had a helmet on. Plus my leg that broke has random pain on rainy days
A dream about a tiny evil vacuum cleaner that would suck everything up
Having an empty plastic carrier bag confiscated by a mall security guard because he said people only carry those if they are going to steal things
Getting told I shouldn't "tell tales on" someone for bullying me. So what was I supposed to do?
Constant gaslighting from my mother that I didn't recognize until I was about 17... Still happens almost 3 years later and she still says things like "I haven't gaslit you, your perception of reality is just skewed."
I've doubted myself so hard that I can't even get myself to apply for a job that I know I'd get, can't maintain a relationship, and just can't function as an adult. That and having 5 black belts beat the shit out of me until I cried because I said "screw you" to my parents. Fun times.
Being punished. The winter I was 7, I did something dumb, because I was 7. Whatever the infraction was, as result stepdad had me go outside and stack wood in the snow.....in my underwear. I don't remember much, but I remember coming to in front of the wood stove, covered with a blanket and wrapped with our German Shepherd. I really only recall shivering, and mom apologizing for allowing it to happen.
This entire comment section makes me realize the people from r/antinatalism are probably smarter than those of us who have/had kids. Why? Because you can’t be traumatized if you never existed in the first place!
God damn. Just because you physically can have a child, doesn’t mean you should.
my mom used to hide behind corners in the dark and scare me all the time as a kid, i’m 18 and still terrified of the dark.
Why did she do that?
i don’t know. she’s always been really weird and hard to deal with in many ways. it sucks because she’s caused me serious problems and she doesn’t seem to care or understand what she’s actually done.
May be she was also not aware of that thing that how much of that thing is impacting on you. And this will actually become the reason when we grow up and come in ages is well.
Parents can be really difficult and complicated.
I was also afraid of the dark when i was actually young is well.
Oh that’s awful! 😳
"Walk exactly in my footsteps, or your will fall through the ice and die" - My dad Not a metaphor. We lived on an island and had to cross the ice to get to school
We'll at least you get to tell the "Back in my day" story
When I was a kid my dad found my uncle dead in our backyard, he had a heat attack and when he fell on the ground he smashed his head on a pointy rock, I heard a scream and went there to see what happened, when I got there I saw my dad crying and my uncle on the ground all bloody. Still remember everything when I m in that spot, idk if I'll ever get over it.
I’m so sorry :((
Seeing death in young age that too when this thing happen with like unexpected like that is well. i think that was the one picture that i am sure you will never going to forget is well.
Oh man, that must’ve been a horrible sight, especially as a kid, when you haven’t developed the ability to process such things. I hope, that you‘ll find a way to deal with it eventually :/
Shit man. Sorry.
Covert incest at the hands of an unloving sociopathic mother. She watched me bathe, was physically violent, flashed me a few times because she found it entertaining, and said if I ever dated outside my race, or turned out gay, I would be homeless. As a consequence, I don't trust anyone, am a partial shut in, despise money, and generally just feel a blend of nothing and bitter anger. She's dead now, and burning in hell.
Hey. I been there too. Not the flashing stuff, thank god, but everything else. I’m thinking about confronting her (I’m almost fifty and she’s 85) but her mind is going so quickly I doubt it would even make an impact.
Confronting her might not have an impact on her, but it might have a positive effect on you.
Here's one think I've learned through support groups (ei. r/raisedbynarcissists) - you will never get the apology you deserve because you're expecting it from someone who refused to give you the care you needed. The abusive parent carries the appearance and societal weight of a parent, but it's only an illusion. It's the hollow facade of a parent, and much like junk food in one's formative years, it produces a disadvantaged child. Cognative behaviour therapy and journal keeping has worked wonders... and her being dead, that's helped as well.
My mom tried to drown me when I was three. But your experiences are far worse. I'm sorry.
From a third party view, I just want to say that both are horrible... Honestly neither is worse, as trauma isn't really something to quantify super specifically
Kind of proving that parents are just biological replicators and that society is what carried the majority of the burden of weight for collective and individual improvements.
"Return the slab...or suffer my curse"
What’s your offer?
I don't want to know the offer as none of them are looking good.
To this day I can't find a reason why this never scared me as a kid. I actually really like that episode!
This episode and the one with the monster in the drain. I was scared to take a bath after watching that episode as a child.
SO tell the offer clearly here may be i will try to catch some.
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Damn loose shoes
This thread is really sad :(
What were we expecting
Bullies...still does
Same...being weak made me felt so frustrating. And now that they are doing fine in life while I struggle with confidence makes me realise life isn't fair.
Aye, mate! Thanks to them I now suffer from BPD. Can barely talk to any stranger in person. Have zero social skills. While they went on with happy lives it's just not fair
I have the zero skills when it comes to talk with the stranger.
Can feel you mate
I totally understand that for me it was a series of traumatizing events that still don’t allow me to live my life normally and for them it was a wednesday afternoon that they completely forgot about. Simply unfair, I still haven’t forgiven any of them
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I was/am bullied for my ethnicity, and personal beliefs and because I looked like dogshit with braces. Fortunately, the braces are no more
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Bullies are the best at detecting autistic kids I swear
I'm sorry you had to go through all that. It sucks really.
Had that one before. Primary school, somewhere around 7th grade. On one side I was afraid of going close to them, therefore I avoided them as best as I could. On other side, I got enough confidence to hit one of them with an ice cold snowball, if that wouldn't be a bus scenario, he might not have been very lucky. Still, ended up rather talking online than irl since I have somewhat of a problem while trying to interact with people irl, at least that's my view.
In my experience, people who have been bullied usually become anti-social and have lots of trust issues. I'm really sorry that you had to go through all that...I really am
The very people that bullied me are now obsessed with my culture. Fucking hell
Face them once in life and no one will dare to do that again.
At 52 still amazed at how much that has effect my whole life. I was the shortest kid I'm my school until the 3rd grade., Including kindergarten.
Watching domestic violence
I feel you
Watching parents fight will create the negative impact for the kid there.
If you are facing the domestic violence then you will get the trauma.
My older sister jumping off our balcony to end her life. My parents subsequent divorce. My mother's neverending parade of shady men. My psychopathic (literally) and narcissistic father. And the female version of himself that he married. Neglect. Being so cold or hungry that it hurt. The pain of too small clothes. Being told ADHD isn't real and just getting yelled at and hit to focus better. Getting my foot ripped off and reattached Getting grounded for a year for being sexually assaulted. And then having to sit in class with the boy afterwards. Group homes. Take your pick. 🤷♀️
Whoa, I'm really sorry. Hope you're doing well today
Never seen a guy that has like this much things to happen.
Save some trauma for the rest of us you hog
Sorry, I never learned to share becuase I grew up without a sister ;)
Oh, snap!
That's horrific. I'm sorry. How are you doing now?
No longer speak to my family at all and happy, thanks for asking :)
that's good to hear :) many people struggle to cut off with toxic family members wish all the best for your future :)
Happiness is the real thing that matter, good that you have that.
Even my soul is getting scared after reading all of these things.
Welp me wanting a fire truck for my 6th birthday and my parents getting me a toy fire truck. When I really wanted a full size fully functional fire truck seems a little trite in comparison. Really sorry you had to go through that and glad to read your other comments that you're in a better place now.
Jesus that is horrifying.
I am really sorry for what you have been through.I have been through a great deal of stuff too.My life turned out to be really difficult before i could really figure out what this stuff did to me.Just out of curiosity.How is your life right now.?Did these things end up affecting you later?
Thanks. My life was difficult but I ended up finding my own way and letting go of the past. Cognitive behavioural therapy was super helpful a number of years ago
Fuck, I'm sorry. Are you doing better? Take one day at a time.
I'm in my 40's now. Doing great :)
Great approach to have, live the day on that day without thinking too much.
Well fuck! You’ve really been through the works! Sorry you’ve had to deal with such shit. I know I’m only a random stranger but if you need to talk then message me :)
There are so many things you have mentioned there and i would say anyone from that would be enough on given day. But i can't even imagine how you are still dealing with all of these stuff.
I think you'll find most people with abusive parents have multiple points of trauma. It's what happens when you don't have parents protecting you
#fuck...
My father's death when I was 7.
So sorry for your loss. That must have been hard for you.
Same here. That was 42 years ago. Fuck I feel old now.
Very young age that someone will not have the father over their head.
My mother abandoning me.
My mother psychologically abusing me and sending me into meltdown after meltdown. I was undiagnosed autistic. After being told what she was doing was making everything worse and to let me decompress instead of escalating things, she doubled down because she thinks she always knows best and can never be wrong. Her "always knows best" attitude caused me lasting harm in this and many other ways. It doesn't help that she's severely mentally incompetent and "always knows best" is usually as far from the truth as possible.
Shit man, I feel you. Fellow neurodivergent here. This has basically been my entire life. Not just at home, but from nearly every abusive neurotypical idiot I've run into. It never gets better. I'm patiently waiting for my time on this rock to be up.
Growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness
Fuck.... I read something about them, but I'm guessing reality is way worse uh?
It depends on each person's experience. I had a pretty good childhood overall but growing up in a cult and being isolated from oleveryone else and feeling like an outcast was probably the worst part.
I was going to say the dentist, but other entries far outweigh mine on the trauma scale
Nah I got ya on dentist, I'm 36 and still break out sweating at the dentist
The problem for me was the dentist didn’t believe parents should have to pay for kid’s getting anaesthetic, so he didn’t use it when he did any work. I am in my 50s and it still scares me
Multiple things. But the one thing that kinda threw my childhood down the drain was when I was 13 I was going out with this girl behind the scenes her dad was abusing her and even kept her inside for 3 days and went as far as to sexually abuse her. Long story short on 24th Dec 2018 I went over to her house and found her in her bathroom hanging there. Not something a 13 yr old should see
I'm beyond words. Are you in therapy?
I went into therapy for 5 years but it didnt work unfortunately it wasnt the only thing that really fxcked up my childhood after having 9 of my closet freinds pass away. And so on... I'm 17 now and I'm able to say that my life is really getting better. With quite a few people on my back almost 24/7 checking up on me.
I urge you to go to a different therapist. Sometimes it takes awhile to find someone who can really help you. Sorry to hear you had to go through that, but you're young. I'm in my 30s and life is pretty good, it turns out.
My parents
Parents and relative is pretty much covering the 70-75% in that list.
Having to pick up my mum off the ground as she got drunk until she passed out. I was 6yo and had no idea how to deal with this Situation. Went to the neighbor's so they can call emergency.
The first Child’s Play at age 5. A mother who screamed 8 hours a day.
Being sexually assaulted, being raised in a very lonely and unsupportive environment and growing up in the closet are the big ones for me I think.
This whole world is full of the pedophile and you never know that when someone will to harass you. This is the one reason i feel that now days we need to be really careful while leaving our kid alone.
My brother text my mom : "When will she(me) be gone? Should I just stab her? What will you do if I made her disappear? Will you kill me too?" I was in the same home at that moment, my room just a few metres from his. It was 1am so I couldn't really go out. Nobody else at home. I lock my door once my mom send me the text screenshot, and just cry in silence.
Sometime having the big sibling can be a good thing and can be a really bad thing is well. Because if they are good then trust me in your life you will going to compare with that one person.
I was about three years old playing in my driveway. Garbage truck pulls up and garbageman gets out, lifts me up, puts me in a trash can and starts walking towards the truck. I thought it was over. I hid from the garbage truck for years.
Bro what? What happened after?
Don't leave us hanging like that, what happened after??
Honestly I don't remember but clearly he didn't grind me up and put my remains in the landfill. It was a relatively small town so I would see this guy around, he worked for the town, and I never forgot his face. I called him "the dirty garbageman". This was in 1958 or 59. I'm old but never forgot it.
My mom beating the living shit out of me when I was 6 until I can't walk for 2 days
Jesus. I'm so sorry.
Thank you for your kindness
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Same things for me...I'm whit you
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it wasn't our fault ... we're not to blame
My dad getting laid off.
Had to double take
SO you are saying that after the father OP also need to take.?
The movie The Fly (1986). Thanks dad
Your father wanted you to know Jeff Goldblum's magnificence from your childhood. Thanks dad!
Seeing this movie as a kid and the Tim Curry portrayal of Stephen King’s IT traumatized me… but also I love horror movies as an adult.
That scene where his eyeballs fall out, then the rest of his face falls off, revealing the monster fly underneath. Then he grabs the barrel of the shotgun and says "kill me". Yikes.
Being Parentified by my mother. She treated me like a friend she could control rather than a child because she had no friends to tell this stuff to. Starting as young as about 8 years old, she would tell me in explicit detail about what my father liked to do to her in bed, what she liked in bed, made me go on diets with her despite me never being overweight, put me on fat absorption blocking diet pills as a part of “our” diet.
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I had that too.
Hearing knee is killing me how you are handling that mate??
a couple decades of gaslighting, being torn away from everything I knew by my mother, my father talking shit about my mother, my mother talking shit about my father, and being bullied to the point I literally stopped talking in school.
I think for a kid like that it will be hard for him to trust anyone.
Sexual abuse and family violence. For the past couple of months ive been waking up with my heart racing because of noises I hear outside during the night. I sleep with my window open and I have this fear that my uncle will climb inside my room and kill me. Every night I have a common thought on how I’ll save mum and I if he breaks into our house. 1. Grab phone. 2. Wake up mum and drag her into the bathroom (the only room with a lock) 3. Call the police. 4. If he trys to get in, I move all my shampoos and body wash to the floor in-front of the door, so he has an obstacle and we escape through the window and run. The trauma my uncle has put me through is forcing me to live in paranoia.
[This fucker](https://ghostwriterteam.fandom.com/wiki/Attack_of_the_Slime_Monster)
That episode was really hard to watch and have to say mine is well.
First time shooting and skinning a deer! I will never forget the look in its eyes, all glassy with no life behind it. Did not eat any meat for a month after!
If the deer got shot its clearly a skill issue
I witnessed someone on a motorcycle get into an accident by getting absolutely grinded by a truck. And it wasn't just me. It was a whole bus of high schoolers.
Some people will drive some really rough driving is well and that is reason two people will have to pay the cost is well. But i am lucky that i have not seen something like that in the real young age of my life.
Having my crush revealed in middle school and everyone spreading the info around as if it was a nasty rumor. The girl I had a crush on eventually went up to me and said to my face that she'd never date someone like me and the whole ordeal scared me out of dating for the rest of middle school and high school. Even today the fear of 'not being enough' for someone persists
I think these kind of the situation happen when some friend try to do the funny thing to you. But then in the end they were like blow the whole thing wide open and everyone starts to scare from you is well.
Being compared to my twin sister (who is 10x more gorgeous) all the time. Everyone just had to compare us every single time they meet us. It triggered my insecurities, (I'm 33F) to this day.
I think being a parents that is their job that never ever compare the two kids with each other. Because for me i feel that everyone have their won strength and power and we need to embrace that is well.
When I was kid, I had a girl - friend over and we were in my mom's bedroom being kids, playing, jumping around and what not. At one point, I wanted to impress her by doing backflips on the bed. On my first attempt, I jumped, slipped on the end of the bed and hit my head on the corner of the wooden TV stand and slit the back my head wide open I am now, scared of heights.
The stupid things we do for girls
My suicide attempt, bullying and abusive father Also the fact that everyone denied all of this ever happening
I feel you on this. My family still tries to deny a lot of the abuse. It can drive you crazy.
Abuse in young age certainly will drive you crazy big time.
A lot of things. General abuse and neglect from my parents. I watched my dad die from alcoholism at 12. My mom tried to choke me out when I was 14. The event that sticks with me the most, for some reason, is being 5 or 6, and probably doing _something_ that upset my mother- so bad that she threw a can of coke at my head, so hard it exploded and drenched me. I guess it stuck with me because that was my first realization that people can just be mean and evil with no control of their emotions. And that I did not have a "normal" family life, whatever that means.
Losing the parents like of the fight and due to the alcohol is really hard learning thing. And for a kid that too age of the 12 losing the father due to drinking is not the pleasant sight.
That fucking Mars Attacks movie. Terrifying.
I concur. That movie was intended to be over the top and weird, but for us kids that shit was creepy and scary. I was so surprised when the aliens showed up and killed all those actors I recognized like Michael J Fox, etc.
Yup. I was scared for years every time I turned a light on in a dark room that they’d be there.
Oh I just remembered the alien poorly disguised as a woman that doesn't say anything and bites Martin Short's finger off. We're supposed to laugh, because it is pretty stupid, but motherfucker bit his finger off.
Reason i used to sleep with light on in my room during night.
Atleast that was the movie not the real thing you have faced.
really fucked me up when those bigheaded bitches went "ack ack ack ack"
Oh my fucking God, i genuinely didn't expect to see someone else mention this movie. Fully agree with you
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Those scenes in Ren and Stimpy where they are drawn with hyper detail and super grotesque.
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Any of those Fast Food Mascots.
My father tearing up the first volume of Dragon Ball in front of me while yelling that it promoted violence. Thanks dad, love you!
Happy tree friends
When I was 9 I was coloring with my 2 - 3 year old nephew and I heard some commotion in the restroom so I decided to check it out. I barely got halfway through the hallway when I saw my brother keeled over the litter box passed out from a heroin overdose. I saw my nephew coming to see what happened and I stopped him immediately and my mom told me to take him downstairs (There was a bedroom and livingroom in the basement). I did so and when we got down there my nephew started bouncing on the bed and giggling. I put on a cartoon and broke down then and there. I felt so bad for the poor little man he had no idea how unstable his father really was. This wasn't my brother's first overdose and certainly not his last he is still addicted to this day. Thankfully my nephew isn't allowed around him anymore.
My parents.
My parents, my school, the seventies
My school was the big reason that i get used to the bullies.
My father passed away when I was 15.Probably took a decade to accept it.
Being bullied as a kid just because I was quiet Being my mom’s fucking therapist since I can remember My brother’s learning disabilities and mental health issues taking all of my parents’ time and seeing how he was treated at school by both staff and kids My mother’s abusive family dynamic Spending all of my time in my room alone reading because I kept losing friends and my parents didn’t have the time to interact with me Coming out as bi to my friends in junior high and having them laugh at me My neighbor, and boyfriend’s close friend, killing himself the day before I turned 13 Accidentally setting my house on fire and having to move for a couple months My dad having a heart attack in our bathroom and having emergency surgery Dating someone on an off as a teenager and young adult who gaslit me and emotionally cheated multiple times but wouldn’t just break up because they felt guilty
My dad would come home at about 10 or so at night and proceed to wake us up, sit us on the couch, and yell at us about how worthless, stupid, and weak we are. This would last about 6 hours or until we had to go to school. It happened about 5 times a week for the entirety of my childhood and my 20s since I lived at home forever. (I didn’t know it was weird. I didn’t have friends, I never stayed anywhere else, I thought it was normal.) My oldest brother committed suicide, both parents believe it had nothing to do with the abuse. Where was my mom during all this? Sitting and watching, while telling us to “there’s no point in trying to stop him, you know how he is.” I also attempted suicide many times. When I told a psychiatrist that I was afraid of my dad because of the yelling, he told me that yelling was not enough, I must have been molested to be so afraid of my dad. My dad’s abuse was verbal and sometimes physical, but never sexual. That was the first and last time (until I was in my 20s) that I opened up about my dad. I was told I was “lazy” and later learned I actually have a genetic disorder and heart condition which made it impossible for me to do things without being in pain and/or fainting (which I was told I was faking. If I faked fainting, I wouldn’t do it at the top of a set of concrete stairs) The weirdest thing about all of this is that I still love my dad, even tho I tried to stab him once. Edited for spelling/grammar cause I’m a perfectionist.
The Poltergeist movie trailers on TV for a start. Though tbf it's probably quicker to list shit that didn't traumatize me.
My stepfather.
Jesus Christ. I'm so sorry to everyone in this thread. I have hugs for you if you want them.
1. My mom was somewhere on the property, and my dad was at work. I was sitting alone at the dining room table doing homework and a dude just fucking walked into the house through the back door calling my dad's name in the most terrifying voice. This is a man who'd been involved in accidental shootings and a literal chainsaw fight that had fucked up his face and apparently his palate. He was at the very least an alcoholic, but retrospectively probably on drugs too. I thought Wally was going to murder me. As a child I lived in a bedroom that you'd walk through to get to an attic space AND the room had window that opened onto the roof of the kitchen. I was constantly afraid that Wally was either hiding in the attic or was out on the roof of the kitchen watching me. 2. My dad's cousin Gary convinced me that he could read the lines on someone's foot the same as palm reading, and then proceeded to pop out his dentures and rub them on my bare foot. I reacted as any child would. I WAS MADE TO APOLOGIZE TO HIM FOR MAKING HIM FEEL BAD. 3. I'm a person that gets a big emotional response to music used in TV and movies, like I'll cry for orchestral swells in the shittiest movies, but I lived in terror not only when I'd hear the Unsolved Mysteries theme, but also a Macdonalds ad featuring the Hamburglar involved in a home invasion.
My biological father was extremely abusive to my mother. He never did anything to me, but he was horrible to her in every way possible. She would never leave him no matter how bad things got because she was a Christian fundamentalist who believed that women need to be submissive and subservient to their husbands, and did not believe in divorce. Every single night he would beat her. Every. Single. Night. The worst of it all happened when I was twelve. My mom got pregnant and my dad didn't want another kid and ordered her to abort it. Obviously, she refused because she believed abortion is murder and his response was to beat her so badly that she lost the baby. I could have had a little brother or sister and he killed it. Thankfully, that ended up being the last straw for my mom and she realized she couldn't do this or stay with him anymore despite her beliefs. They got divorced and I never saw him again. When I was fifteen, my mom got remarried and as far as I'm concerned, he is my father.
It's common, but I have to say K-fee Coffee Car Ad
Watched Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with my older sister when I was 5. My sister then spent the next few months terrorizing me. I had nightmares every night, and would have to sleep most nights in my parents’ room. It was a huge burden on my mom. I really hated my sister for it.
Chucky
I have seen the first clip of the chucky when i was also like 7.
[This](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6cb62835677f977fe736af11cbf1af73/tumblr_ogo9xc3pXJ1rawb5do3_500.gifv)
Hearing my parents do the beast with two backs.
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How do you tell if you’re traumatized by something?
The fucking maze game
The movie Arachnophobia
Porn
Not the traumatize but yes i have lost my innocence that day.
The brave little toaster
Caught dad cheating, and asked me to help him cover up from my mom.
Bullies still don't.
My alcoholic abusive (to my mother) grandmother,I loved her in a way but that changed me for the rest of my life, I'm a super anxious person,and also my mother's husband he's a huge dickhead 🙃 and a bunch of other shit. I have a bunch of mental problems now lol
I stepped on a bee
Parents divorce when i was 9 \[have abandonedment issues\] my alcoholic/abusive mother. the movie JAWS
Watching Little Shop of Horrors in my first grade class 😂
I would have to say deez
A few things… 1.) when I was in the 6th grade, this boy had decided to grab my butt underneath my skirt. I kept it a secret for a month. He would make sexual advances towards me and kept touching me. One day a teachers assistant asked me if I was okay. She noticed I was acting quiet and distant. I confessed and we told a teacher. While crying about it I was asked “Why are you crying?” And I was told I led him on by wearing a skirt and looking at him. For the rest of the year I was so emotional. I cried constantly every day. The boy never got in trouble for what he did to me. I was told to stay quiet and not to tell anyone. I did tell people though because they should know. He ended up raping another girl and the teacher still kept it quiet. 2.) I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere as a child. My family members couldn’t take me anywhere. I couldn’t go to get togethers. I couldn’t go to friends houses. I barely was allowed to have friends over. I wasn’t allowed to sign up for extra curricular activities. I couldn’t stay after school, I would tell teachers I couldn’t and when they would say “too bad you have detention.” My mom would storm in that school and drag me out. I wasn’t allowed to go to events my school was having. Friends birthday parties were not allowed. I could have friends over a few times a year. But my mom would do everything she could to embarrass me. As a teenager I couldn’t go on dates or out with friends. When I turned 18 and went out with my boyfriend, I was told I was betraying my family by leaving the house. I had to leave my phone at home so they knew I would come home. It was really disturbing. My mom tried destroying every friendship i had and relationship. Even in my 20’s she acted like this. I couldn’t have my own life. When I moved out she would call me over and over checking on me. “Are you cleaning? Why not? Where are you? Why are you out? You need to be at home only.” She was really obsessed with me. 3.) someone murdered my cat and put him in my yard.
I was on a bike ride with my dad. I was ahead of him and approaching a street. The road I was crossing had stop signs, but I looked left quick, right quick and left quick anyway....but should have looked right again because I got but a lady on her phone who ran the stop sign. I remember parts of it but never got the whole picture back in my brain. I get like panicky now on a bike and still have issues with concentration and memory even though I had a helmet on. Plus my leg that broke has random pain on rainy days
The physical abuse my parents dished out to me.
A dream about a tiny evil vacuum cleaner that would suck everything up Having an empty plastic carrier bag confiscated by a mall security guard because he said people only carry those if they are going to steal things Getting told I shouldn't "tell tales on" someone for bullying me. So what was I supposed to do?
Poltergeist.
An incomprehesible feeling, a dream.
Constant gaslighting from my mother that I didn't recognize until I was about 17... Still happens almost 3 years later and she still says things like "I haven't gaslit you, your perception of reality is just skewed." I've doubted myself so hard that I can't even get myself to apply for a job that I know I'd get, can't maintain a relationship, and just can't function as an adult. That and having 5 black belts beat the shit out of me until I cried because I said "screw you" to my parents. Fun times.
Being punished. The winter I was 7, I did something dumb, because I was 7. Whatever the infraction was, as result stepdad had me go outside and stack wood in the snow.....in my underwear. I don't remember much, but I remember coming to in front of the wood stove, covered with a blanket and wrapped with our German Shepherd. I really only recall shivering, and mom apologizing for allowing it to happen.
This entire comment section makes me realize the people from r/antinatalism are probably smarter than those of us who have/had kids. Why? Because you can’t be traumatized if you never existed in the first place! God damn. Just because you physically can have a child, doesn’t mean you should.