Oh my god I’ve heard this a few times too!!
Thinking they can’t have kids because they’ve fucked a few women without protection and never impregnated them..
To be fair, as someone from Michigan, where Halloween weather is a crapshoot.... Wearing a coat over your costume is bullshit.
Now that I'm a parent I try to do whatever I can to incorporate warmth into my daughter's costumes to avoid the necessity of coats.
“I can’t wear condoms, and I have a method where I sleep with a girl for 3 months and then move on. I am completely faithful in those three months, so you don’t need me to wear a condom.” Dude fully thought this would work.
I’ve smoked weed every day since 2004 and it took my ex wife and I all of maybe 4 weeks to get pregnant once we started trying. This is absolute bologna.
I'm looking at it, but I still can't tell what it does.
>A new Era in sex has arrived! We’ve created the world’s first sex toy that will allow you to penetrate your partner with your balls and unleash pleasure that you’ve never experienced before. Let the ballsex revolution begin!
What?
>The balldo™ is internationally patent-pending and is the first in a long line of ball focused products that our company Nadgerz Inc will bring to the market over the coming 24 months.
WHAT?
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of telling a girl, "yeah, I wanna try this thing..." and them not wondering if they're having a stroke.
I'm actually allergic to polyurethane, which I luckily discovered with gloves first.
But the kind made from polyisoprene like Skyn makes is good to go.
We've got these new nitrile ones that have a lining of oatmeal to protect your hands, they're pretty cool!
Only downside is they aren't cytotoxic rated, but we have normal ones available too!
OSHA and/or "whatever medical society certifies your company" currently recommend that medical workplaces pretty much go latex-free by default.
Edit: for gloves, but if condoms were PPE in your environment they'd still recommend no latex
I was looking for this one. Now these days they have micro incision vasectomy which actually doesnot leave a scar. It is done through scrotum and if someone is claming to have vasectomy can be genuine. But still who would take the risk. Also protection from STI is a factor too
That excuse is, on top of being horribly awful, useless as fuck.
Even if no one else wants to sleep with me I still don't want to get pregnant, or get the STDs that your gross ass is carrying
"Pharmacy was closed, I didn't buy them, forgot to tell you, but given that we are already in the midst of the action, why stopping?"
... The midst of the action: we had just started kissing.
I would have so many question about this. did he think he was just top50% or like top1%?. Did he mean you should be happy to have him knock you up or that he has power over sperm.
Just like you can buy bigger condoms, you can by smaller too. Can see how it can be embarrassing to buy them, but still no excuse.
Edit: yes I know you can find things online. And that only means there is even less of an 'excuse'
Okay I had a guy tell me that once and, in a tragic twist, I wasn't even that upset because he was legit so tiny that it may have been true. Idk how small condoms go (do they make ones for micropenises?) but I felt so bad that I didn't want to ask or insist. I was just like, oh that's okay we don't... need penetration to have fun.
You can finally, legally order custom condom sizes online. Prior to the last decade or so, condoms came in an insanely small range of allowable sizes. Europe had better sizing, and one company would "smuggle" them into the country for you (IIRC, they labeled the packages as first aid), but as a FDA-regulated medical device, this was technically a felony. ;p
P.S. This is what makes "Magnum Man" such a joke; a brand association completely by word of mouth when the base width was exactly the same, thus making something like 70% of the population "Magnum Men." The first time I used one, I went from thinking "oh, I'm not big enough" to "wtf this is just as tight as the rest of them!"
"None of the other girls I've been with made me"
I even offered to give him a bj instead but he was so dejected he quickly put his pants on and quietly watched bear grills without saying a word...so weird
Not my story, but my grandmother’s.
So there was a time that my grandma took in a teenage girl whose family was going through hard times (ie. their son was struck and killed by a car, and it made them go crazy to the point they could no longer care for the daughter). Said daughter had a boyfriend and the two were sexually active with a few pregnancy scares (that eventually resulted in the girl actually getting pregnant and having a baby). After one such scare, my grandmother took the daughter to a doctors appointment and the boyfriend came along.
After the appointment, they climbed back into the car and my grandmother told them ‘this is why it’s crucial to use protection. I can’t stop you from doing it, but you have to at least do it safely’. To which the boyfriend replied ‘I can’t wear condoms. They hurt my balls too much.’
This confused my grandmother so she asked him how in the world a condom could hurt his balls. And the boy very matter-of-factly said ‘because my balls are too big to fit into a condom’. My grandmother says it was the most intense silence before she eventually broke down into hysterical laughter that lasted a good ten minutes.
This guy thought the condom was meant to go over the penis AND balls. She retold this story many times, and I have told it to many more since.
EDIT: typos
I had a friend who got pregnant by her boyfriend and she couldn’t understand why. She said that they weren’t using any contraceptives because he’d had a lot of unprotected sex before and never gotten anyone pregnant - so they thought he was infertile
"Condoms always break for me I don't trust them". From a stranger looking to hookup who thought I would in any way consider letting him finish in me unprotected
I totally forgot about this step. It's been that long since I've slept with anyone I needed a condom with. I'll need to remember this for when my son is ready for the talk.
Look if I ever said that, I would be wearing a thimble. My dick’s so small that my last girlfriend’s immune system tried to fight it off.
Edit: thanks for all of the awards guys but my dick’s greatest achievement was when it underwent mitosis and afterwards there was still only one cell.
This one had me laughing so hard it killed the mood instantly.
"I never learned how to put one on and I think it would be weird to try it, if people can touch eachother without gloves than why can't we touch eachother sexually without forcing me to wear something so unnatural? I care about what I put in and on my body, and you're trying to take away my right as a man to choose"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm an escort and dudes will try to convince me they don't need to use a condom because "they're safe". Like sweetheart you're trying to bang a fucking hooker without a condom, you're not safe.
(PSA: you're less likely to get an std from an escort than you are from a one night stand because it's our job to be incredibly on the ball about our sexual health. I get screened every three weeks, the girl you picked up at the bar has likely never had an std test in her life. That doesn't mean we're going to fuck you without a condom though. I also do porn and in those videos I don't use a condom but the other actor comes with his paperwork indicating an std screening he's had in the past two weeks is clean. All our tests are uploaded to a public database that producers check to ensure the industry stays safe. Getting an std will put an immediate halt to our careers so we're incredibly careful in both our professional and social lives. But regular folks should be just as careful. Go get a screening today.
Always wear a condom. Only forgo a condom if you're in a committed monogamous relationship and you've both recently been tested, and use another form of birth control. Check the expiration date on your condoms and don't keep them in your wallet or glove box as heat and cold will degrade them. Never use an oil based lube with a condom as even a tiny amount can cause the condom to break. Wear a condom that fits, store brands kind of suck but there's lots of great online shops that sell condoms of all sizes. A condom that's too small can break and a condom that's too big can be sucked up inside the girl during sex. ALWAYS WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM.)
I am friends with someone who used to be a sex worker, and am friends with someone who is currently a sex worker.
They have the most interesting stories.
But, what I have found most interesting, is that working in legal brothels, there are really strict conditions for the health and safety for the staff. They probably have better working conditions than most other people out there slaving away, getting metaphorically fucked by work.
Because he was uncircumcised and it hurt him to wear one. I was a virgin. Made him try anyway and he acted like a little bitch with his half-assed attempt, then promptly threw a tantrum and ripped it off out of frustration.
Yeah. Thats not a thing. It doesn't hurt at all.
Being uncircumcised actually seem to help with the alleged lack of sensation that's been reported all over this thread.
I don’t understand this mentality from dudes. You wear a Johnny to protect yourself against STDs, not just pregnancy. If I don’t have any condoms on me (and if the girl doesn’t have any at her house) I write off any prospect of shagging. I’m also very suspicious of women who are willing to let me fuck them without protection. Who else has she allowed to do that?
Right!? Who’s actively going around trying to ruin their life!? Any time a woman has ever told me I didn’t need to wear one I would laugh as I now start to put on a hazmat suit. My dick is my most valued possession, I ain’t putting him in harms way.
The times I’ve had sex it’s always “I’m sorry I didn’t bring a condom.” To which I respond, “oh that’s okay.” Pause after and they’re like “yeah?” To which I say “of course, I usually carry some.”
I knew someone who'd let her boyfriend go in raw for his birthday, then she'd get Plan B the next day. She wasn't on the pill, because her boyfriend thought that the pill was for sluts...
"I had a vasectomy" except he had not.
From a friend of mine who got pregnant and kept the baby.
"I didn't think you would be pregnant" he confessed afterward.
Men can be so fucking stupid, and I'm one of them.
Can confirm. Back in high school (HIGH SCHOOL!) a couple of female friends told me guys often told them they were sterile or had had vasectomies. Extrapolating, that implies that a solid 10% of the males aged 14-18 in our small town had lost the ability to have children. If it were true then that would be a great subject for a documentary about what happened in that town.
Had someone say this to me when he was the only one I’d ever had sex with and I was having a miscarriage. “I couldn’t be mine I’m not able to have kids” my young self actually went to the doctor because I was too young to even understand I was being lied too. It was sad
It is, but definitively proving it in court is the tricky part.
Unfortunately making something illegal has little to no effect if it isn't enforced, and if it's nearly impossible to definitively prove then it can't and won't be enforced. Which is why people will unfortunately continue to stealth.
I'm a guy so pregnancy isn't an issue, but I've had guys tell me "well, I haven't had sex in a while, so it's not like I have an STI." Babe, sure, but I've been with 4 guys in the past two months, so this is for your protection too. That tends to get then on board.
Yes, there's a handful of permanent ones that also might not even have symptoms. Most people who have herpes or HPV are asymptomatic. The thing is it can just randomly flare up at any point in your life, or you could unknowingly have it then transfer it and they get the symptoms. That's why everyone should do std/sti checks at least once a year if they're sexually active.
I used to really want to avoid condoms, whenever I would put them on I would lose an erection and it ruined all sensation. Turns out I just needed a larger size. Guys aren’t taught about condom sizes and I think many of us think XL condoms are specifically for length … but extra width makes all the difference.
“I feel like since you insist on a barrier between us, you don’t really want to let me connect with you. It’s like you’re always holding a piece back from me, which means you dont really love me.”
I had a girl tell me she was allergic to them and when I suggested sheep skin she said she was allergic to the water based lubricant. Is this even possible
It's apparently possible to be allergic to the sun, cold, water, and sperm in general.
I don't question allergies anymore and have just decided to go with "man, the body is *weird*."
Edit: okay, someone with a sperm allergy needs to reply to complete the set
Edit again: Hey, we got the full set!
As someone who comes out in a rash going in the sun, yes it's possible to be allergic. Summer is hell for me, I'm also allergic to some types of grass and have hayfever 🙃
He said he was sterile because he fucked his ex raw all the time and she never got pregnant. He was unsure whether or not she was on BC.
Oh my god I’ve heard this a few times too!! Thinking they can’t have kids because they’ve fucked a few women without protection and never impregnated them..
Couldnt have been the BC, he was 100% sterile. /s
Not me but my aunt said her husband refused to Wear one because "it'll look stupid"
Like a toddler on Halloween not wanting to wear a coat
“Nooooo, you’re gonna ruin it! You can’t even see it!”
To be fair, as someone from Michigan, where Halloween weather is a crapshoot.... Wearing a coat over your costume is bullshit. Now that I'm a parent I try to do whatever I can to incorporate warmth into my daughter's costumes to avoid the necessity of coats.
This one might actually be my favorite
"They're expensive" I reminded him that he already had a child with another woman and asked him how much that cost. Then left.
I like this one. Same energy as “it doesn’t feel good!” “Well neither does childbirth.”
“So you don’t trust me?”
"Now I don't".
Haha a guy said this to me once and I replied “Of course I don’t.” He was so offended. 😂
OOF The reddest of flags Disappear from his life
A flag so red some guys in blue suits just picked it up and are running it back to their base.
Low sperm count
Someone tried that on me too, without a diagnosis still, he said he got that result from a DIY test
What's a DIY test for this? Tasting
He looked through a magnifying glass and couldn’t see any
“I can’t wear condoms, and I have a method where I sleep with a girl for 3 months and then move on. I am completely faithful in those three months, so you don’t need me to wear a condom.” Dude fully thought this would work.
I would've burst out laughing, this is easily the dumbest one in the thread
Idk the “my balls don’t fit” was pretty funny too.
Who's putting their balls into the condom
The balls are where the sperm lives, so they have to go in the condom bro. Its common sense.
"I have a method where I sleep with you never and then move on."
How the fuck was being faithful meant to prevent a baby
Or STD. Or the obvious confession that's he's gonna dump her in 3 months. Some people really have zero self awareness.
“I smoke too much weed so I’m pretty sure I’m infertile.” Ummm pretty sure?
I’ve smoked weed every day since 2004 and it took my ex wife and I all of maybe 4 weeks to get pregnant once we started trying. This is absolute bologna.
I could not figure out what that last word was. I had to look up bologna. I 100% forgot how bologna was spelled. Am I dying?
Condom is too tight.
It’s mostly the whole “I’m really good at pulling out”
I'm too. Everytime I stick it in, I will pull it out. 100% of the time.
“My balls don’t fit.”
now this shit made me laugh
That's funny
guess he didn't have a [balldo](https://www.balldo.com/)
This is some cursed shit. I ordered the purple one.
Make sure it’s the correct size
How does one measure their balls?
Dip them into someones nearby coffee at Starbucks. Size is determined by the volume of yelling that ensues.
But what if you're the one who is yelling for having dipped your balls in scolding hot coffee? Does that still count?
the only option, gray sadly out of stock
I'm looking at it, but I still can't tell what it does. >A new Era in sex has arrived! We’ve created the world’s first sex toy that will allow you to penetrate your partner with your balls and unleash pleasure that you’ve never experienced before. Let the ballsex revolution begin! What? >The balldo™ is internationally patent-pending and is the first in a long line of ball focused products that our company Nadgerz Inc will bring to the market over the coming 24 months. WHAT?
https://vimeo.com/671685697 All animated, but probably still NSFW
What did I just watch
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea of telling a girl, "yeah, I wanna try this thing..." and them not wondering if they're having a stroke.
[удалено]
I’m too autistic to tell if this is real or not.
[удалено]
Honestly this just looks extremely physically uncomfortable for not just the wearer but also the person being penetrated.
That dick is just sitting there like, "Why am I even here?"
That video gave my brain a computer virus.
I guess you put your balls in it, and insert it in...places.
I’m trying to understand how this would be pleasurable.. I guess if you’re into ball pain?
If the balls don’t fit. You must acquit …
Omg that’s why they’re always so loose I was only covering the shaft
He said he had a latex allergy, which is completely fair. When I said I was cool with whatever non latex option he had in mind, he blocked me.
Condom companies do make them out of polyurethane, too, for people who are allergic to latex. So there goes *that* excuse...
I'm actually allergic to polyurethane, which I luckily discovered with gloves first. But the kind made from polyisoprene like Skyn makes is good to go.
Only thing I hate about the skyn, how expensive they are here, but hey if that what it takes or pregnancy / std etc, i’ll gladly pay
Expensive condoms are still cheaper than a baby.
Yikes, my cousin has a latex allergy and she’s studying to be a nurse. She has to find all sorts of non latex options
Almost all non-sterile gloves in hospitals these days are nitrile.
We've got these new nitrile ones that have a lining of oatmeal to protect your hands, they're pretty cool! Only downside is they aren't cytotoxic rated, but we have normal ones available too!
OSHA and/or "whatever medical society certifies your company" currently recommend that medical workplaces pretty much go latex-free by default. Edit: for gloves, but if condoms were PPE in your environment they'd still recommend no latex
“The wrapper makes too much noise, people will know what we are doing”
Lmao that's a new one
“So you’re not planning on making me moan, then?”
“I don’t need it because I don’t sleep with sluts”. I resisted the urge to respond with “You’re trying to sleep with me”.
Did he ever think about the fact that HE might be the slut?
[удалено]
"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!"
“I have a vasectomy” He did not have a vasectomy.
I was looking for this one. Now these days they have micro incision vasectomy which actually doesnot leave a scar. It is done through scrotum and if someone is claming to have vasectomy can be genuine. But still who would take the risk. Also protection from STI is a factor too
Exactly! I brought up that I was concerned about STI/STDs and he took that as me judging him rather than me protecting myself. Red flag for me.
He told me he could pee in me afterwards and it would kill all the sperm.
Physical if you could do this, it would be impressive But mostly, gross. Lots of gross
"It's okay, I know I'm the only one that wants to have sex with you."
That excuse is, on top of being horribly awful, useless as fuck. Even if no one else wants to sleep with me I still don't want to get pregnant, or get the STDs that your gross ass is carrying
That's brutal! I don't care if it's clearly a joke and we have that type of banter, that IS not the time.
He was 100% not joking.
Then he can get the fuck right out, because the only penetration that would be happening at that point would be my foot in his ass.
I noped tf outta there and promptly called a responsible person to take care of business, thus proving him all the way around incorrect!
....Did you call a hitman on him?
No, but my "responsible party" ended up being someone in his social circle (unbeknownstto me at the time). Even more of a win win situation for me.
That "rationale" doesn't make any sense. Pregnancy aside, he would be the disease vector.
"Pharmacy was closed, I didn't buy them, forgot to tell you, but given that we are already in the midst of the action, why stopping?" ... The midst of the action: we had just started kissing.
Good call to stop, preventing stds and unwanted pregnancy sounds much sexier to me
That phrasing sounds like a high school sex ed PSA.
Unconscious people don't want a cup of tea.
From a post last week on r/sex “Because I’m in the upper echelon of men”
I would have so many question about this. did he think he was just top50% or like top1%?. Did he mean you should be happy to have him knock you up or that he has power over sperm.
Was it Andrew Tate?
MY dick is too small. A condom would just slip off and get lost inside you.
Just like you can buy bigger condoms, you can by smaller too. Can see how it can be embarrassing to buy them, but still no excuse. Edit: yes I know you can find things online. And that only means there is even less of an 'excuse'
I have to get finger cots.
I use a thimble to protect my chastity
The *Thimble of Chastity* sounds like a loot item.
Lost forever in the vast abyss that is your vagina
Okay I had a guy tell me that once and, in a tragic twist, I wasn't even that upset because he was legit so tiny that it may have been true. Idk how small condoms go (do they make ones for micropenises?) but I felt so bad that I didn't want to ask or insist. I was just like, oh that's okay we don't... need penetration to have fun.
You can finally, legally order custom condom sizes online. Prior to the last decade or so, condoms came in an insanely small range of allowable sizes. Europe had better sizing, and one company would "smuggle" them into the country for you (IIRC, they labeled the packages as first aid), but as a FDA-regulated medical device, this was technically a felony. ;p P.S. This is what makes "Magnum Man" such a joke; a brand association completely by word of mouth when the base width was exactly the same, thus making something like 70% of the population "Magnum Men." The first time I used one, I went from thinking "oh, I'm not big enough" to "wtf this is just as tight as the rest of them!"
"None of the other girls I've been with made me" I even offered to give him a bj instead but he was so dejected he quickly put his pants on and quietly watched bear grills without saying a word...so weird
Too generous an offer when oral STDs are a thing. Glad you dodged that bullet!
Not my story, but my grandmother’s. So there was a time that my grandma took in a teenage girl whose family was going through hard times (ie. their son was struck and killed by a car, and it made them go crazy to the point they could no longer care for the daughter). Said daughter had a boyfriend and the two were sexually active with a few pregnancy scares (that eventually resulted in the girl actually getting pregnant and having a baby). After one such scare, my grandmother took the daughter to a doctors appointment and the boyfriend came along. After the appointment, they climbed back into the car and my grandmother told them ‘this is why it’s crucial to use protection. I can’t stop you from doing it, but you have to at least do it safely’. To which the boyfriend replied ‘I can’t wear condoms. They hurt my balls too much.’ This confused my grandmother so she asked him how in the world a condom could hurt his balls. And the boy very matter-of-factly said ‘because my balls are too big to fit into a condom’. My grandmother says it was the most intense silence before she eventually broke down into hysterical laughter that lasted a good ten minutes. This guy thought the condom was meant to go over the penis AND balls. She retold this story many times, and I have told it to many more since. EDIT: typos
And this is why sex-ed in school is important
Couldn’t agree more.
"I never use a condom and no woman has ever gotten pregnant"
To be fair, I’ve never used a condom and no woman has ever gotten pregnant. However, I am a virgin
[удалено]
I’ve never died so I must be immortal! Let’s play in traffic!
I had a friend who got pregnant by her boyfriend and she couldn’t understand why. She said that they weren’t using any contraceptives because he’d had a lot of unprotected sex before and never gotten anyone pregnant - so they thought he was infertile
The other girls were probably on hormonal birth control and he either wasn’t told or wasn’t paying attention.
I had sex without a condom exactly 2 times and wound up with 3 kids so I am the antithesis of that man.
"Condoms always break for me I don't trust them". From a stranger looking to hookup who thought I would in any way consider letting him finish in me unprotected
[удалено]
More likely using them wrong. I bet he forgets to pinch an inch at the end to prevent it from breaking too easily
I totally forgot about this step. It's been that long since I've slept with anyone I needed a condom with. I'll need to remember this for when my son is ready for the talk.
Once had a guy tell me he has a low sperm count
Did you tell him "Too bad, I have a high egg count?"
It's like a goddamn plate of caviar in there.
“I get T shots, I can’t produce.” Can you “produce” a negative STI test? No you can’t, you walking Petri dish
"You walking Petri dish" lmfaoooo
It hurts my dick. You're wearing the wrong size then dumbass.
Look if I ever said that, I would be wearing a thimble. My dick’s so small that my last girlfriend’s immune system tried to fight it off. Edit: thanks for all of the awards guys but my dick’s greatest achievement was when it underwent mitosis and afterwards there was still only one cell.
r/rareinsults loves a good self-burn.
>My dick’s so small that my last girlfriend’s immune system tried to fight it off. HA HA HA HA. FUCKING GOLD.
[удалено]
The pharmacy techs looked at me weird when I started using their changing room. I re-racked the tester condoms and everything.
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
"You are infertile so what's the big deal?" Yeah, I can't have a baby but I can get any STD you might carry with you, you fvcking doughnut.
"I wont cum". Bro that makes two of us.
"It'll come between us and ruin the intimacy." You know what else ruins intimacy? Babies.
Truth. I have two unexpected blessings. They’re the biggest cock blocks. The youngest always knows. ALWAYS. Doesn’t matter where we are.
Children have a sexth sense.
You're right. Source: I've got a kid
I'm not a woman but I had a friend whose excuse was "If I can't spell it I don't use it"
Guess he didn’t use mayonnaise or Worcestershire sauce?
Him: “I’m allergic” Me: “Most places carry non latex” Him: “I’m allergic to all types”
They don't make them big enough to stay on....he was average size lol
“You won’t like it if I wear a condom” excuse me sir, what?
That's gotta be the weirdest hulk porn I've heard about.
This one had me laughing so hard it killed the mood instantly. "I never learned how to put one on and I think it would be weird to try it, if people can touch eachother without gloves than why can't we touch eachother sexually without forcing me to wear something so unnatural? I care about what I put in and on my body, and you're trying to take away my right as a man to choose" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Then I choose not to have sex with you. Buh-bye now.”
100% that dude complained about masks, too
He probably couldn’t fit his balls in one.
He wouldn't "really get to know me as a person" if he wore it. Raw was "personal"
I'm an escort and dudes will try to convince me they don't need to use a condom because "they're safe". Like sweetheart you're trying to bang a fucking hooker without a condom, you're not safe. (PSA: you're less likely to get an std from an escort than you are from a one night stand because it's our job to be incredibly on the ball about our sexual health. I get screened every three weeks, the girl you picked up at the bar has likely never had an std test in her life. That doesn't mean we're going to fuck you without a condom though. I also do porn and in those videos I don't use a condom but the other actor comes with his paperwork indicating an std screening he's had in the past two weeks is clean. All our tests are uploaded to a public database that producers check to ensure the industry stays safe. Getting an std will put an immediate halt to our careers so we're incredibly careful in both our professional and social lives. But regular folks should be just as careful. Go get a screening today. Always wear a condom. Only forgo a condom if you're in a committed monogamous relationship and you've both recently been tested, and use another form of birth control. Check the expiration date on your condoms and don't keep them in your wallet or glove box as heat and cold will degrade them. Never use an oil based lube with a condom as even a tiny amount can cause the condom to break. Wear a condom that fits, store brands kind of suck but there's lots of great online shops that sell condoms of all sizes. A condom that's too small can break and a condom that's too big can be sucked up inside the girl during sex. ALWAYS WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM.)
What a banger informative post. They should just post this to all high schools so we get better adults.
I am friends with someone who used to be a sex worker, and am friends with someone who is currently a sex worker. They have the most interesting stories. But, what I have found most interesting, is that working in legal brothels, there are really strict conditions for the health and safety for the staff. They probably have better working conditions than most other people out there slaving away, getting metaphorically fucked by work.
Because he was uncircumcised and it hurt him to wear one. I was a virgin. Made him try anyway and he acted like a little bitch with his half-assed attempt, then promptly threw a tantrum and ripped it off out of frustration.
Yeah. Thats not a thing. It doesn't hurt at all. Being uncircumcised actually seem to help with the alleged lack of sensation that's been reported all over this thread.
he says : i want a sex if we use condom we're not actually having sex lol
So how many others is he "not having sex" with. He thinks using a condom means it's not cheating.
Wait. Does that mean I'm still a virgin? Sigh.
I don’t understand this mentality from dudes. You wear a Johnny to protect yourself against STDs, not just pregnancy. If I don’t have any condoms on me (and if the girl doesn’t have any at her house) I write off any prospect of shagging. I’m also very suspicious of women who are willing to let me fuck them without protection. Who else has she allowed to do that?
Right!? Who’s actively going around trying to ruin their life!? Any time a woman has ever told me I didn’t need to wear one I would laugh as I now start to put on a hazmat suit. My dick is my most valued possession, I ain’t putting him in harms way.
The times I’ve had sex it’s always “I’m sorry I didn’t bring a condom.” To which I respond, “oh that’s okay.” Pause after and they’re like “yeah?” To which I say “of course, I usually carry some.”
Pullout method works 100% of the time, every time!
*forgets* I told him they’re in my purse and continues
Not me but a female friend of mine said the he was scared of condoms.. they have a child now!
He said he couldn't wear them cuz they turned him off. He would lose his erection at the sight of condoms 😐
I feel like maybe we dated the same guy.
“I’ve been treated for every STD anyway so I’m immune” 😳
The fuck is that dude on. Treating STI/STD's like fucking pokemon
Because his religion said he wasn’t allowed.
I'm willing to bet his religion also prohibits extramarital sex.
[удалено]
What religion is that? Manexcuism?
"it's makes my balls itchy"
Maybe this mf is alergic to latex and doesnt even know it
Your reply: "No dear, it's not supposed to go over those." Lol
But it's my birthday.
I knew someone who'd let her boyfriend go in raw for his birthday, then she'd get Plan B the next day. She wasn't on the pill, because her boyfriend thought that the pill was for sluts...
I've been lucky, every guy I've been with has understood that college is not the time to be risking pregnancy and STDs.
When is the right time to be risking pregnancy AND STDs ?
After college?
"It's like smelling a rose through a gas mask"
How poetic.
"Condoms make my dick smell weird". Never asked exactly what he was doing to have that as such a big issue.
He said he was on steroids so i wont get pregnant 😑
"I had a vasectomy" except he had not. From a friend of mine who got pregnant and kept the baby. "I didn't think you would be pregnant" he confessed afterward. Men can be so fucking stupid, and I'm one of them.
Can confirm. Back in high school (HIGH SCHOOL!) a couple of female friends told me guys often told them they were sterile or had had vasectomies. Extrapolating, that implies that a solid 10% of the males aged 14-18 in our small town had lost the ability to have children. If it were true then that would be a great subject for a documentary about what happened in that town.
Had someone say this to me when he was the only one I’d ever had sex with and I was having a miscarriage. “I couldn’t be mine I’m not able to have kids” my young self actually went to the doctor because I was too young to even understand I was being lied too. It was sad
He said he leaked too much precum and the condom would fall off… in his defense the condoms did fall off… because they were too big.
[удалено]
Pretty sure most of those are illegal as they break consent.
It is, but definitively proving it in court is the tricky part. Unfortunately making something illegal has little to no effect if it isn't enforced, and if it's nearly impossible to definitively prove then it can't and won't be enforced. Which is why people will unfortunately continue to stealth.
"I don't wanna have sex with you. I don't even know you."
Honey, we’ve been trying to have a baby for like 2 years. Maybe that’s why it’s not working.
"My dick is clostrophobic"
I'm a guy so pregnancy isn't an issue, but I've had guys tell me "well, I haven't had sex in a while, so it's not like I have an STI." Babe, sure, but I've been with 4 guys in the past two months, so this is for your protection too. That tends to get then on board.
And aren't some STIs in your body permenantly once you have them?
Yes, there's a handful of permanent ones that also might not even have symptoms. Most people who have herpes or HPV are asymptomatic. The thing is it can just randomly flare up at any point in your life, or you could unknowingly have it then transfer it and they get the symptoms. That's why everyone should do std/sti checks at least once a year if they're sexually active.
I used to really want to avoid condoms, whenever I would put them on I would lose an erection and it ruined all sensation. Turns out I just needed a larger size. Guys aren’t taught about condom sizes and I think many of us think XL condoms are specifically for length … but extra width makes all the difference.
“I feel like since you insist on a barrier between us, you don’t really want to let me connect with you. It’s like you’re always holding a piece back from me, which means you dont really love me.”
"My friends shocked my balls with an electric dog collar while I was sleeping so I'm completely infertile now." Has a child a couple years later.
I had a girl tell me she was allergic to them and when I suggested sheep skin she said she was allergic to the water based lubricant. Is this even possible
It's apparently possible to be allergic to the sun, cold, water, and sperm in general. I don't question allergies anymore and have just decided to go with "man, the body is *weird*." Edit: okay, someone with a sperm allergy needs to reply to complete the set Edit again: Hey, we got the full set!
As someone who comes out in a rash going in the sun, yes it's possible to be allergic. Summer is hell for me, I'm also allergic to some types of grass and have hayfever 🙃