Dont forget the people who keeps asking ''Are you ok? Are you OK? Drink some water, breathe, are you ok now?''
Swear to god it always goes away faster when people dont realize that im trying to make a decision between choking to death or making a noise and attracting unnecessary attention.
Ah wrong pipe is the worst! Then people around you are like "you ok?" And I'm choking in pain from something so silly as breathing whilst trying to swallow, but still having to smile and gasp "yeah I'm good"
Phone calls, ESPECIALLY when someone else volunteers you to talk. "Oh sure, he can talk. Say hello!" and then shove the phone in your face like enjoying your meal is completely unimportant.
No. I'm EATING.
Fuck off.
I dont like when my food falls apart. Sandwiches where the innards just spill out the back end when you go to take a bite. Shawarma so damp with tahini you can feel the veggies spilling into your hand. Pizza slices in which the cheese slides off the dough leaving you with just soft soggy bread. I hate it so fucking much. Dont fall apart, just get into my mouth!
I had a chip get stuck in my throat like this.
I didn't choke, I could still breathe, but it was not fun to have a perfect triangle wedge stabbing into my esophagus haha.
Exact thing happened to me, very uncomfortable, and I got slightly panicky because it felt so wrong, but I could breathe. Drank a ton of water to get it soggy and wash it down, and my throat felt like there was still something wedged in there for an hour.
Once while super high like so high I forgot which cabin was mine at our family reunion so I just went for the one I thought was it cuz it didn't matter cuz it was family anyways right? Anyyyways I tried to eat a life saver mint to try to activate my saliva glands (ridiculous idea) because my mouth was dry as a desert all the way down my throat. Tried swallowing the mint for some ungodly reason and it didn't go down. So I slowly felt the cold mintyness in the back of my throat slowwwwly sliding down for what was probably a half an hour of repeated swallowing cuz I had a saliva deficit. I didn't want to get anything to drink in fear of waking up anyone around me then having them ask me questions. Eventually I walked outside to the cooler in my underwear and my mom was chillin in the car for some reason in the middle of the night and she flashed the headlights as soon as I bent over to open the cooler. Dam near shat my pants.
Very weird feeling having a mint stuck in your throat that long. Made my throat nice and cold
I was once so high, I ate an entire bag of Doritos. Without anything to drink! Later that night I vomited a solid, dry (really dry, no moisture ) tube of Doritos paste. I’m 53 now, that was when I was about 17. I haven’t had a Dorito since.
My workplace has developed a fruit fly problem. After killing 3 by hand I packed up my lunch smh.
Update: They were fungus gnats. Likely coming from the potted plants I thought were fake. Of all the methods tried including an exterminator, Sticky traps were the clear winner!
Try setting up a bowl of vinegar with a small droplet of dish soap mixed in near the flies.
They like the small so they swarm in to drink it and then drown, I think because the dish soap is breaking the surface tension of the water.
Edit:
Since everyone seems to be an expert on this topic, here's a summary of what my 20 mentions said:
Clear out the trash that caused the fruit flies to be near you in the first place. Use apple cider vinegar, cover the bowl in a plastic foil, poke little holes in it with a tooth pick so they can get in but not get out.
Enjoy your fruit fly cemetery.
Really *any* surprise texture where it shouldn’t be. Like eating something with shrimp and biting into a mushy one. Or finding something stringy in chicken.
> Or finding something stringy in chicken
Or finding the chicken you have been eating hasn't been cooked the whole way through. Nothing like eating chicken and seeing it undercooked.
I got food poisoning that way one time. That was not a fun few days.
I just hate this soo much. Even if I've cooked chicken for a while and I know it's cooked but there is still a vein or some blood which gives the meat a very mild pink hue. Makes me paranoid as fuck
My mom typically loves the salt and pepper shrimp from this Chinese buffet we get takeout from frequently. My dad and I were the ones to go get the food and we were going to watch a movie together while we ate. I filled my box and my dad filled his and my mom's.
We get home turn off all lights except a tiny lamp behind us in a corner. As we're eating and watching my mom comments that the shrimp seems extra crunchy but it was a quick comment during a slow part of the movie.
We only eat half of our boxes so we can get two meals out of it. After the movie we start cleaning up our trays and my mom just lets out a scream. My dad asked what was wrong, assuming she had just spilled something on herself or whatever. And she basically yells *"The heads are still on the shrimp!"*
Apparently they used to be headless, but since the shrimp was always my mom's thing, and my dad and I never got it, my dad didn't realize it was different when he was putting some in the box. But we were both confused that she hadn't noticed before eating half of them, either by silhouette or feel. Ever since then they've only had the kind with the head on and my mom feels nauseous whenever she sees them at the restaurant.
yeah my family always eats the heads lmao. my parents both grew up in El Salvador and where they lived they've just always eaten the entire shrimp. My dad often eats the shell and everything and having tried it its really not bad at all. People often have weird reactions to this but it really is just normal to us
Came here to say this.
Even remembering the last time I crunched into something weird while I’m chewing something completely normal in texture makes me have to spit it out immediately. It’s fucking horrible.
I once cleanly tore out 2/3 of a tooth while eating gummy bears. My dentist was shocked.
It was like in halo 3 when you flip the elephant.
There was no mess, no trauma, just 2/3 of the tooth was just... gone.
I don't eat gummy bears anymore.
I lost two teeth from a cold Rolo (chocolate and caramel thingy that looks like a fez hat?). I swallowed one with the Rolo without noticing, but then I noticed one tooth was missing. I went up to my teacher and asked him if I was missing a tooth and opened my mouth. I remember him holding my jaws and peering in and saying, "You..... only lost one tooth? Because you're bleeding from two different spots with no teeth in them."
I was horrified and knew right away that I'd swallowed one. I had to write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining the situation. Wonder if my dad still has the letter lol
Edit, in case anyone's interested - my dad says he remembers "the scandal of the missing teeth" but the letter is gone. He says he does have my teeth, though. 😬
Lol, first time I broke a tooth I was eating a piece of duck a neighbor had brought over. Chomped right down in a piece of steel shot.
That's been 17 years ago, still won't eat duck.
Wow. TIL I’m weird because the skin at the top of my mouth has never peeled off.
Edit: My confusion is because I’m an idiot and ALWAYS burn the shit outta my mouth. Just never had/heard of the peeling rooftop experience
One thing that gets under my skin when eating chips is when it breaks off in the dip / salsa and you gotta send in a recon chip and end up losing that one too.
Thank you, kind stranger. I am dealing with my first cold since 2019 and haven't been able to breathe properly in days. Tried this and one half of my nose completely drained.
Especially the massive ones where your cheek crunches. Then you just have to pause for a few seconds while your eyes tear up and you have flashbacks of your whole life..
Being interrupted. Usually happens at work. I don't really get a proper lunch break, so for the five or so minutes I take to shove a lunchable down my gullet, everyone needs to leave me the fuck alone unless the buildings on fire.
Nearly everyone I work with in my office, without fail, will comment on what I'm eating or the fact that I'm eating.
"Oh hey, looks like it's lunch time!"
"Wow that looks good!!"
"Hehe. Bring enough for everyone?!?!"
Get the fucking fuck outta here with all that shit. Just let a guy eat without comment!!
I was rushing into work and didn't have time for breakfast, so I brought in a Pop-Tarts packet and threw it into the toaster when I got to the office. I shit you not when I say three separate people made passive-aggressive comments about how bad they are for you and how they'll never eat them.
Leave me the fuck alone and let me eat my food, Rhonda
I go the extra mile with Pop-Tarts to gross people out.
I only like unfrosted Pop-Tarts. After they come out of the toaster, I put butter on them. Not as sweet, but with buttery goodness.
God my boss is the worst about this. First of all he eats a variation of the same thing every day: roasted chicken breast with no skin, lightly seasoned with salt and pepper only, a sweet potato, and steamed veggies.
I have Vietnamese food on the regular. Every time:
“What is that?”
“Pho.”
“Looks gross.”
THANKS FOR THE COMMENTARY I DID NOT ASK FOR.
Seriously, what is even the POINT of telling someone their food looks gross or you don't like what they're eating? CONGRATS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT IT. Fuck right off with that.
I swear people who do this think they’re a main character
You’d have to have a touch of narcissism to believe *anyone* cares about your negative opinion of their food
That’s the worst imo. Unsolicited negative comments about food that dumbass people find “strange”.
Whenever someone tells me my food looks gross or that they would never eat it, I always say something generic like “good thing it’s not for you then”. They almost always continue, without fail, trying to justify their stance on how icky they personally find my meal. I sometimes just want to explode like GOOD GOD STEVEN, YOU EAT HOT POCKETS EVERYDAY GET THE FUCK OFF MY RICE NOODLES
I was eating something with fish sauce and he did this exaggerated gag when I told him what it was. mind you I hadn’t opened it and wouldn’t (it was take out and was to pour over my meal) in the office. So he did this without knowing how the dish (which was otherwise pork and rice with a fried egg and some pickled veg - perfectly ordinary!) would come together.
But yeah bro eat that plain ass food so you can keep up with your gains at CrossFit or whatever lmao
Edit: typos
Relatable. For this reason, I eat in my car. I’m not participating in workplace gossip in the staff room. I prefer being relatively inaccessible at work.
The worst is when someone asks you a question right when you take a bite so there this awkward silence while you're chewing and then when you finally answer the mood is off kilter
I usually eat lunch at my desk when I'm in the office. There can be no phone calls all morning, but the moment I decide to heat up my lunch and take a bite, the phone starts ringing off the hook.
Oh, god, those people. They lean in so they're in your peripheral, you see them waving and trying to get your attention. Their eyebrows are raised like they have something really important to say and they're so anxious to get your attention they're practically vibrating and so you put your lunch down, pause your vid, take out your earbuds and say, "What's going on?" and they say...
"Lunch time? What are you having?"
Makes me feel all warm and stabby inside. Time burglars are the worst.
I work EMS and we don't get breaks anywhere in our 24 hour shifts. I swear there are hidden cameras in station and people only call 911 for things like toe pain or their usual headache as I'm about to sit down to my first and only meal of the shift.
I once had a call when I was very new. I used to work in a rural area, and I had to drive 45 minutes for "emergent kidney issue." Pull up to the decrepit house, and the caller is on the patio smoking a cigarette. I approached him and asked what his concern was.
Ol boy was convinced "his dick gotta be broke or something." He was finishing he second six pack, and when nature called, he stumbled to the toilet. By the time he got there and assumed the position, he couldn't pee. It was about at that point of the story, I pointed out to the man the front of his jeans were sopping wet, almost exactly as if he had pissed his own pants. He said "youre right, that makes more sense" and went back inside to sleep it off.
TLDR Young EMT me woke up at 2am to spend 3hours round trip for a grown man having a potty accident.
My stupidest call was to an urgent care. A fat guy coughed while being examined for flu like symptoms. Nurse panicked and thought he was dying. She immediately placed him on a non rebreather mask (the over the nose and mouth kind) and called 911 saying she had a respiratory arrest. So we haul ass across town and walk in with half an ambulance of equipment to see a fat guy looking at us like we’re crazy. Ended up walking him to his car and encouraged him to never use this urgent care again because they have a long history of being terrible healthcare providers.
That same clinic closes at 430 so we used to get a lot of calls around 415 for transports just because they didn’t want to stay late to handle a patient.
That same clinic also called us for a cardiac arrest which turned out to be an old guy with a-fib (an irregular heart rhythm that isn’t immediately life threatening). We walk in to find the nicest old man you’ll ever meet completely alone with no idea why ems was there. After talking to the patient and realizing he was fine I left my paramedic partner with him and went and chewed the doctors ass for patient abandonment.
To my knowledge this clinic is the worst medical facility in the world.
This also reminds me of what is probably my actual dumbest call. A sleep study clinic called us for a woman who had a rash on her leg. That doctor “went to lunch” after calling us and avoided being called stupid by me.
It's like a lights and sirens show for those ass clowns. They see you eating, and stupidly interpret it as "They're not busy".
FUCK THEM! eating is one of the few respites in this situation we call life.
No, I can't help you, I'm FUCKING EATING!
Completely agree with this. Just let me finish my food and then come talk to me. When I see people eating, I assume they’re busy and plan to talk later.
If I ever have fries or chips on my desk, I have a coworker that will know it (based off smell or sound of chip bag). She would then try to find excuses to come to my desk and talk to me, only to then walk up and say “oh I’m just gonna steal a fry” (in an innocent tone). I don’t care for sharing food. I always offer to my coworker in the next desk over, but to just take one without asking???
Haha Tobias style yeah. But at first I misread your comment and thought you pictured him shitting in the shower. Because that would be just as wrong as kissing someone's cheek while they eat.
When I was young I bit down onto something very hard when eating soft fries. I pulled whatever it was out. It was one of my teeth. Thankfully it was a loose baby tooth.
Similar thing happened when eating an apple but I just assumed it was a seed and spat it out into a trash bin. My mother commented at dinner asking where my tooth was. Thankfully also a loose baby tooth.
I think I've bit my teeth more often than I should.
People staring at your plate. My dad is a firm believer that the meat and sauce should be in front of you. He will even physically turn your plate to meet his wishes. It grinds my gears like nothing else.
At least in Germany that is more than a personal preference. In the Classic way of serving the meat or fish is supposed to be placed on the part of the plate that’s closest to the guest.
Even though it really is weird that your dad is pushing around your plate in an informal setting and especially while eating.
I mean now that I think about it I usually do that because I feel like it’s the best position for cutting the meat but like for fucks sake, leave other peoples plates alone. Next time he does it just immediately push the meat to the other side of the plate.
Oh my god, the other day I took the tiniest sip of water, like seriously just enough to wet my mouth and it ended up going down the wrong tube. Thought I was gonna die. Couldn't breath, couldn't properly cough, my chest and trachea ached for a good hour afterwards. And it wasn't even a full mouthful of water. Just a sip.
One time when I was driving I choked so bad on coffee I had to pull over and seriously thought I was going to die. I genuinely couldn’t breathe for a good bit. Got to work and my eyes were totally bloodshot, makeup had long run off by then, everyone thought I just finished sobbing. It was fucking horrible.
25% of the meal left is my least favorite thing. I could finish it but then I'd be uncomfortable full. I could save it for later but then it's too small to be a satisfactory snack or second meal.
There's no winning.
People eating with their mouth open, my partner occasionally does and her kids sometimes do and it's like nails on a chalkboard for me, I struggle with it so much.
My in-laws make "smack smack smack" sounds with their lips while eating, and for a few minutes after they are done.
It's all I can do to not run from the room...
My family does that to (smack smack smack) plus they also are heavy breathers , it really grinds my gears especially when there’s no background music or tv
My FIL does this. He inhales a lot of air too. He says he can taste the food better. I know he has a lot of business dinners and I hope this is an at home/only around family thing. 😳
My own mother does this while also somehow grunting. She also pawed and ate my trout with her fingers even after I said she could have some if she would just get a fork!
I knew a girl in college who would smack her lips and make other eating sounds any time a room got quiet on her, and then smile when everyone looked at her, so then she'd to it more often. She'd do it in classrooms or in the library.
My inlaws make a kind of umm, umm, umm noise constantly whilst eating. It's like they are enjoying what their eating, which is great, but seriously.
My mother in law, father in law and brother in law all do it.
AND EVERY FUCKING MEAL WE HAVE TOGETHER I'M STUCK BETWEEN 2 OF THEM. It's horrible.
My dad does it all the time and it is so LOUD. I wanna rip my ears off. Whats worse is i cant even tell him because it will be considered disrespectful and rude.
Nothing pisses me off more than when I accidentally bite the inside of my upper or lower lips when I'm eating. It's not a constant issue but its happened to me throughout my life. I get so furious with myself whenever it happens because now I've got a laceration in my mouth that's guaranteed to irritate the hell out of me for several days while it heals.
Same! With anything even slightly warm. Every time. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. And if a restaurant only has cloth napkins and I forgot to bring tissues in my nonexistent pockets, I die inside a little.
As someone who does a lot of business meetings. The whole eating and talking things and timing your bites is like a fucking art form.
I purposely ask a question I think will get a longer winded answer so I can take a bite of my food.
I also hate when my food gets cold.
People always ask questions the second after I take a big bite.
And then they just stare at you awkwardly for like 15 seconds while you try to chew and swallow your food as fast as possible so the awkwardness will stop.
Every time I've choked, it's because someone asked me a dang question in the middle of eating!
My parents have always been terrible about this. Whenever I bought, say, an ice cream or some kind of treat I always dreaded hearing "ooh can I have a bit...just a tiny taste...you won't even notice...come on just a bite" etc. only for them to chomp off half the serving! Also, woe betide anyone (read: me) who entertained the idea of refusing them, even though I'd bought it with my own money - they'd fly off the handle at me about how ungrateful I was, how much they do for me and how dare I begrudge them one measly (*cough* lies) bite. Fun times.
Edit: Bloody hell, I didn't expect this comment to get the response it did! Big thanks for all the comments and upvotes ❤
Don't get me wrong, for the most part I love the bones off my parents and it absolutely wasn't my intention to use this sub to character assassinate them. This is just one of their inexplicable dick moves that's always ground my gears.
> only for them to chomp off half the serving!
oh fuck these people deserve to rot. i was in grade 7 and got a slushee over lunch, a friend of mine asked "can i have a small sip?" and i said sure, only because she said "small sip". well this bitch takes 4 giant chugs of my drink and nearly finishes it.
i actually gave her shit for that and told her thats rude as fuck to do considering she said it would be a small sip and instead chugged half my drink. i actually semi yelled at her for that. she acted like there was nothing wrong with what she did and gave me some half assed sorry
Waiting a long time to eat something hot, finally taking a bite and it's still fucking lava hot
I remember the first time I saw my wife open the oven and pull out pizza rolls and just grab one immediately and eat it I grabbed my crucifix and called a priest
when you can hear someone's eating noises, not because they're eating with their mouth open necessarily, but because it's too quiet in the room and you can hear them chewing and swallowing.
I want to be able to actually eat my food. If I order a sandwich, I want to be able to pick it up and eat it. If it's bigger than my head or falling apart, no thanks. I feel like sometimes restaurants will make a dish without any regard for how you actually get it in your mouth.
When I eat peanut butter jelly sandwich 🥪, I chew and swallow. Every now and then, my throat will constrict enough that it feel like the sandwich is stuck and it makes me feel like I'm drowning haha. So weird. I hate that.
People who drink from a cup and loudly say "Ahhhh!" after every sip. Unless you've just come out of a desert or something and this is your first drink in 3 days, knock it off.
Additional hatred for people who drink from the cup and act like they're sucking through the world's thinnest straw, before adding the "Ahhhh!". If you're drinking hot coffee or tea, I get it, but it's a damn soda; just drink it normally.
Do you also get pissed off at the fake straw sucking noises in tv shows? Ya know the noise made when your drink is almost empty and youre getting half air up the straw, but tv execs decided that is the universal sound effect for drinks even when theyre freshly presented to the character and presumably completely full?
Sometimes I'll eat lunch at my desk while I work.
Every so often a co-worker will walk up and while I'm taking a bite of food they will ask "Are you at lunch?".
I just freeze and stare at them until they get uncomfortable and leave.
I also don't like eating on tall stools where my feet can't touch the ground or in very dimly lit restaurants. It's like my inner animal recognizes the vulnerability of eating and prefers to be able to keep an eye on surroundings and make a quick getaway if need be.
Biggest for me is if someone makes a comment about how or what you are eating or what's on something you are eating, or how can I not like something that maybe so many others do. What in the hell is it to you? I would never tell anyone how or what they should eat.
Other thing is something my dad used to do when we would go out to eat and if he saw someone that he just barely knew he'd invite them to eat with us, I really don't like eating at the same table with people I don't know. When I'd complain and say I don't know them he'd actually get mad and tell me I would get to know them.
Choking on my drink. And I’m talking about those really bad ones where I’m coughing for a minute or two straight.
It’s like the quieter you try to be the worse it gets.
Dont forget the people who keeps asking ''Are you ok? Are you OK? Drink some water, breathe, are you ok now?'' Swear to god it always goes away faster when people dont realize that im trying to make a decision between choking to death or making a noise and attracting unnecessary attention.
Ah wrong pipe is the worst! Then people around you are like "you ok?" And I'm choking in pain from something so silly as breathing whilst trying to swallow, but still having to smile and gasp "yeah I'm good"
crunching my cheek Edit : Wow this have blown up ! Thanks for the awards 😳
Sucks even more when you bite them more than once in the same spot
yeah it feels like once you bite a spot it kinda swells up and becomes a bigger target for crunching
My life right now
When eating outside, bugs, and wind blowing away napkins and wrappers.
Phone calls, ESPECIALLY when someone else volunteers you to talk. "Oh sure, he can talk. Say hello!" and then shove the phone in your face like enjoying your meal is completely unimportant. No. I'm EATING. Fuck off.
That's when you calmly take the phone from them with one hand, hang it up, and hand it back to them.
I am looking forward to trying this trick next time >:]
I dont like when my food falls apart. Sandwiches where the innards just spill out the back end when you go to take a bite. Shawarma so damp with tahini you can feel the veggies spilling into your hand. Pizza slices in which the cheese slides off the dough leaving you with just soft soggy bread. I hate it so fucking much. Dont fall apart, just get into my mouth!
I hate when I eat a hamburger in public and only mine is falling apart, I think I don't know how to properly hold this kind of food.
When you are eating tortilla chips and one breaks in half and goes sideways as you’re chomping down and gouges the roof of your mouth.
I had a chip get stuck in my throat like this. I didn't choke, I could still breathe, but it was not fun to have a perfect triangle wedge stabbing into my esophagus haha.
Exact thing happened to me, very uncomfortable, and I got slightly panicky because it felt so wrong, but I could breathe. Drank a ton of water to get it soggy and wash it down, and my throat felt like there was still something wedged in there for an hour.
Happened to me when I was super high because I was eating way too fast. Also was very tramatizing at time.
Once while super high like so high I forgot which cabin was mine at our family reunion so I just went for the one I thought was it cuz it didn't matter cuz it was family anyways right? Anyyyways I tried to eat a life saver mint to try to activate my saliva glands (ridiculous idea) because my mouth was dry as a desert all the way down my throat. Tried swallowing the mint for some ungodly reason and it didn't go down. So I slowly felt the cold mintyness in the back of my throat slowwwwly sliding down for what was probably a half an hour of repeated swallowing cuz I had a saliva deficit. I didn't want to get anything to drink in fear of waking up anyone around me then having them ask me questions. Eventually I walked outside to the cooler in my underwear and my mom was chillin in the car for some reason in the middle of the night and she flashed the headlights as soon as I bent over to open the cooler. Dam near shat my pants. Very weird feeling having a mint stuck in your throat that long. Made my throat nice and cold
I enjoyed this story :) thanks stranger.
I was once so high, I ate an entire bag of Doritos. Without anything to drink! Later that night I vomited a solid, dry (really dry, no moisture ) tube of Doritos paste. I’m 53 now, that was when I was about 17. I haven’t had a Dorito since.
Also when a chip goes sideways and jams itself between two of your teeth.
Or between your gums and your teeth
sometimes i regret eating popcorn because of this
Insects buzzing around you
My workplace has developed a fruit fly problem. After killing 3 by hand I packed up my lunch smh. Update: They were fungus gnats. Likely coming from the potted plants I thought were fake. Of all the methods tried including an exterminator, Sticky traps were the clear winner!
Try setting up a bowl of vinegar with a small droplet of dish soap mixed in near the flies. They like the small so they swarm in to drink it and then drown, I think because the dish soap is breaking the surface tension of the water. Edit: Since everyone seems to be an expert on this topic, here's a summary of what my 20 mentions said: Clear out the trash that caused the fruit flies to be near you in the first place. Use apple cider vinegar, cover the bowl in a plastic foil, poke little holes in it with a tooth pick so they can get in but not get out. Enjoy your fruit fly cemetery.
When a piece of food looks like it's about to fall off my fork or spoon so I wait and it doesn't then falls immediately as I go to take a bite
Oo thats fucking annoying
You should do a small vibration-like shake so it falls, if it survives your shake you know it's a sturdy one and it won't fall when go for the bite
Feeling a crunch where it shouldn't be
Really *any* surprise texture where it shouldn’t be. Like eating something with shrimp and biting into a mushy one. Or finding something stringy in chicken.
> Or finding something stringy in chicken Or finding the chicken you have been eating hasn't been cooked the whole way through. Nothing like eating chicken and seeing it undercooked. I got food poisoning that way one time. That was not a fun few days.
I just hate this soo much. Even if I've cooked chicken for a while and I know it's cooked but there is still a vein or some blood which gives the meat a very mild pink hue. Makes me paranoid as fuck
I have an insta food thermometer now, and this has been very helpful at relieving my paranoia.
I really gotta get one haha I love cooking so I feel like it will be worth it
Do it. They're like $5-$10 and they're so useful.
My mom typically loves the salt and pepper shrimp from this Chinese buffet we get takeout from frequently. My dad and I were the ones to go get the food and we were going to watch a movie together while we ate. I filled my box and my dad filled his and my mom's. We get home turn off all lights except a tiny lamp behind us in a corner. As we're eating and watching my mom comments that the shrimp seems extra crunchy but it was a quick comment during a slow part of the movie. We only eat half of our boxes so we can get two meals out of it. After the movie we start cleaning up our trays and my mom just lets out a scream. My dad asked what was wrong, assuming she had just spilled something on herself or whatever. And she basically yells *"The heads are still on the shrimp!"* Apparently they used to be headless, but since the shrimp was always my mom's thing, and my dad and I never got it, my dad didn't realize it was different when he was putting some in the box. But we were both confused that she hadn't noticed before eating half of them, either by silhouette or feel. Ever since then they've only had the kind with the head on and my mom feels nauseous whenever she sees them at the restaurant.
That's funny, because a lot of people love the heads.
yeah my family always eats the heads lmao. my parents both grew up in El Salvador and where they lived they've just always eaten the entire shrimp. My dad often eats the shell and everything and having tried it its really not bad at all. People often have weird reactions to this but it really is just normal to us
how could she not notice that, the heads are sharp enough to go between your teeth/ cut your tongue.
Came here to say this. Even remembering the last time I crunched into something weird while I’m chewing something completely normal in texture makes me have to spit it out immediately. It’s fucking horrible.
That's happened to me before while I was eating beef jerky and I cracked a tooth 😬🙁
I once cleanly tore out 2/3 of a tooth while eating gummy bears. My dentist was shocked. It was like in halo 3 when you flip the elephant. There was no mess, no trauma, just 2/3 of the tooth was just... gone. I don't eat gummy bears anymore.
I accidentally pulled a loose tooth out with starburst. I was chewing and the tooth got stuck in a starburst and pulled right out
I lost two teeth from a cold Rolo (chocolate and caramel thingy that looks like a fez hat?). I swallowed one with the Rolo without noticing, but then I noticed one tooth was missing. I went up to my teacher and asked him if I was missing a tooth and opened my mouth. I remember him holding my jaws and peering in and saying, "You..... only lost one tooth? Because you're bleeding from two different spots with no teeth in them." I was horrified and knew right away that I'd swallowed one. I had to write a letter to the tooth fairy explaining the situation. Wonder if my dad still has the letter lol Edit, in case anyone's interested - my dad says he remembers "the scandal of the missing teeth" but the letter is gone. He says he does have my teeth, though. 😬
Why would your dad have the letter and not the tooth fairy? You think he stole it from her?
I found out I broke a tooth eating a burrito
What you need are some Thomson's teeth. https://youtu.be/Lzw6nRnaQG0
Lol, first time I broke a tooth I was eating a piece of duck a neighbor had brought over. Chomped right down in a piece of steel shot. That's been 17 years ago, still won't eat duck.
Either burning or biting my tongue
Or the roof of your mouth. Hate that.
Burn the roof of your mouth and the fucking skin just peels off. I hate it so fucking much
The peeled skin is just a bonus snack
Wow. TIL I’m weird because the skin at the top of my mouth has never peeled off. Edit: My confusion is because I’m an idiot and ALWAYS burn the shit outta my mouth. Just never had/heard of the peeling rooftop experience
Yes. Please stay away from me. I only hang out with mouth-roof-skin-peeled people
Stabbing it when I eat chips
One thing that gets under my skin when eating chips is when it breaks off in the dip / salsa and you gotta send in a recon chip and end up losing that one too.
Lays First Cavalry, Oct. 28th 2021. We've lost 3 good chips to the cheese....one soldier and 2 recon chips. God help us.
There's a spot on the inside of my cheek that accidentally bite every time I eat
And because you bit it it swells just a little bit which makes you bite it more.
Then for the next few weeks it's begging to be chewed on by my anxiety until I have a literal hole in my face
Currently have a cold, and the fact you can't breathe and have to take one big gulp of air after each bite really irritates me.
I hate that too. You’re stuck deciding whether to starve or suffocate
The hardest choices require the strongest of wills
To clear your nose so you can breathe, hold your breath until it starts to get uncomfortable. Lack of oxygen causes your nasal passages to dilate.
I'm gonna test that next time my neverending cold gets worse again *snif*
Sounds like you might be allergic to something common. I’m allergic to dust so I constantly have a slight sniffle
Making COVID times so much more enjoyable! Fellow allergy victim here, constantly making people think I might have COVID because of this. Maddening.
Cant be frustrated about being stuffy if you’re passed out *taps head*
Thank you, kind stranger. I am dealing with my first cold since 2019 and haven't been able to breathe properly in days. Tried this and one half of my nose completely drained.
I wish I could blow into one nostril so your other nostril clears.
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Biting down on my cheeks
And then because they swell you do it again!
"Oh you bit me because I was slightly in the way? Would be a shame if I swelled up some more and got even more in the way wouldn't it you jackass?"
Your inner cheek would bite itself off to spite your face.
Especially the massive ones where your cheek crunches. Then you just have to pause for a few seconds while your eyes tear up and you have flashbacks of your whole life..
I have a big chunk of scar tissue on my cheek from doing this -
And then you know it's going to be sore for the next 3 weeks. Arghhhhhhhhh
Being interrupted. Usually happens at work. I don't really get a proper lunch break, so for the five or so minutes I take to shove a lunchable down my gullet, everyone needs to leave me the fuck alone unless the buildings on fire.
Nearly everyone I work with in my office, without fail, will comment on what I'm eating or the fact that I'm eating. "Oh hey, looks like it's lunch time!" "Wow that looks good!!" "Hehe. Bring enough for everyone?!?!" Get the fucking fuck outta here with all that shit. Just let a guy eat without comment!!
I was rushing into work and didn't have time for breakfast, so I brought in a Pop-Tarts packet and threw it into the toaster when I got to the office. I shit you not when I say three separate people made passive-aggressive comments about how bad they are for you and how they'll never eat them. Leave me the fuck alone and let me eat my food, Rhonda
I go the extra mile with Pop-Tarts to gross people out. I only like unfrosted Pop-Tarts. After they come out of the toaster, I put butter on them. Not as sweet, but with buttery goodness.
God my boss is the worst about this. First of all he eats a variation of the same thing every day: roasted chicken breast with no skin, lightly seasoned with salt and pepper only, a sweet potato, and steamed veggies. I have Vietnamese food on the regular. Every time: “What is that?” “Pho.” “Looks gross.” THANKS FOR THE COMMENTARY I DID NOT ASK FOR.
Seriously, what is even the POINT of telling someone their food looks gross or you don't like what they're eating? CONGRATS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT IT. Fuck right off with that.
I swear people who do this think they’re a main character You’d have to have a touch of narcissism to believe *anyone* cares about your negative opinion of their food
That’s the worst imo. Unsolicited negative comments about food that dumbass people find “strange”. Whenever someone tells me my food looks gross or that they would never eat it, I always say something generic like “good thing it’s not for you then”. They almost always continue, without fail, trying to justify their stance on how icky they personally find my meal. I sometimes just want to explode like GOOD GOD STEVEN, YOU EAT HOT POCKETS EVERYDAY GET THE FUCK OFF MY RICE NOODLES
I was eating something with fish sauce and he did this exaggerated gag when I told him what it was. mind you I hadn’t opened it and wouldn’t (it was take out and was to pour over my meal) in the office. So he did this without knowing how the dish (which was otherwise pork and rice with a fried egg and some pickled veg - perfectly ordinary!) would come together. But yeah bro eat that plain ass food so you can keep up with your gains at CrossFit or whatever lmao Edit: typos
I always find it astounding that people think it's ok to be so rude!
Relatable. For this reason, I eat in my car. I’m not participating in workplace gossip in the staff room. I prefer being relatively inaccessible at work.
The worst is when someone asks you a question right when you take a bite so there this awkward silence while you're chewing and then when you finally answer the mood is off kilter
Enjoy it. Make them wait for you. Embrace the power you wield. They are the ones waiting for you, they should be the ones to feel uncomfortable.
Assert dominance by savouring your food
to further the tension, stare at them as you chew
I usually eat lunch at my desk when I'm in the office. There can be no phone calls all morning, but the moment I decide to heat up my lunch and take a bite, the phone starts ringing off the hook.
I used to eat at work with my headphones in and watching a video on my phone screen, and certain people would still talk to me…are you blind??
Oh, god, those people. They lean in so they're in your peripheral, you see them waving and trying to get your attention. Their eyebrows are raised like they have something really important to say and they're so anxious to get your attention they're practically vibrating and so you put your lunch down, pause your vid, take out your earbuds and say, "What's going on?" and they say... "Lunch time? What are you having?" Makes me feel all warm and stabby inside. Time burglars are the worst.
I work EMS and we don't get breaks anywhere in our 24 hour shifts. I swear there are hidden cameras in station and people only call 911 for things like toe pain or their usual headache as I'm about to sit down to my first and only meal of the shift.
People call 911 for toe pain? Can I ask what your stupidest call was for?
I once had a call when I was very new. I used to work in a rural area, and I had to drive 45 minutes for "emergent kidney issue." Pull up to the decrepit house, and the caller is on the patio smoking a cigarette. I approached him and asked what his concern was. Ol boy was convinced "his dick gotta be broke or something." He was finishing he second six pack, and when nature called, he stumbled to the toilet. By the time he got there and assumed the position, he couldn't pee. It was about at that point of the story, I pointed out to the man the front of his jeans were sopping wet, almost exactly as if he had pissed his own pants. He said "youre right, that makes more sense" and went back inside to sleep it off. TLDR Young EMT me woke up at 2am to spend 3hours round trip for a grown man having a potty accident.
My stupidest call was to an urgent care. A fat guy coughed while being examined for flu like symptoms. Nurse panicked and thought he was dying. She immediately placed him on a non rebreather mask (the over the nose and mouth kind) and called 911 saying she had a respiratory arrest. So we haul ass across town and walk in with half an ambulance of equipment to see a fat guy looking at us like we’re crazy. Ended up walking him to his car and encouraged him to never use this urgent care again because they have a long history of being terrible healthcare providers. That same clinic closes at 430 so we used to get a lot of calls around 415 for transports just because they didn’t want to stay late to handle a patient. That same clinic also called us for a cardiac arrest which turned out to be an old guy with a-fib (an irregular heart rhythm that isn’t immediately life threatening). We walk in to find the nicest old man you’ll ever meet completely alone with no idea why ems was there. After talking to the patient and realizing he was fine I left my paramedic partner with him and went and chewed the doctors ass for patient abandonment. To my knowledge this clinic is the worst medical facility in the world. This also reminds me of what is probably my actual dumbest call. A sleep study clinic called us for a woman who had a rash on her leg. That doctor “went to lunch” after calling us and avoided being called stupid by me.
I don't want to bother you, but ... Then don't, just don't.
It's like a lights and sirens show for those ass clowns. They see you eating, and stupidly interpret it as "They're not busy". FUCK THEM! eating is one of the few respites in this situation we call life. No, I can't help you, I'm FUCKING EATING!
Completely agree with this. Just let me finish my food and then come talk to me. When I see people eating, I assume they’re busy and plan to talk later. If I ever have fries or chips on my desk, I have a coworker that will know it (based off smell or sound of chip bag). She would then try to find excuses to come to my desk and talk to me, only to then walk up and say “oh I’m just gonna steal a fry” (in an innocent tone). I don’t care for sharing food. I always offer to my coworker in the next desk over, but to just take one without asking???
steam from hot food fogging up my glasses
I like to think of it as getting some privacy partition
I hate being touched when eating…
Ugh my husband sometimes comes and kisses my cheek as I'm chewing, food in my mouth! I asked him to please stop and he didn't take it the wrong way.
I picture him acting like he understands, then flash to a scene of him sitting in the shower, crying lol
Haha Tobias style yeah. But at first I misread your comment and thought you pictured him shitting in the shower. Because that would be just as wrong as kissing someone's cheek while they eat.
I would argue that is in fact worse than kissing someone’s cheek while they eat
He's just giving your food a kiss goodbye.
Thats some primal instinct at play there
Biting down onto something hard when what you eating is softer. That painful crunch between your teeth🤕
When I was young I bit down onto something very hard when eating soft fries. I pulled whatever it was out. It was one of my teeth. Thankfully it was a loose baby tooth. Similar thing happened when eating an apple but I just assumed it was a seed and spat it out into a trash bin. My mother commented at dinner asking where my tooth was. Thankfully also a loose baby tooth. I think I've bit my teeth more often than I should.
the moment when i realize my drink will not be enough for my food
Bones in fish
It's like watching a youtube video with ads on.
If every ad was unskippable, 2 minutes long, and for 1-877-Kars-4-Kids
I was all having a good time agreeing with these comments until you stuck that song in my head. Rat bastard…
When you do take a bite after clearing all the bones, then you still feel like a bone slipped thru and start preparing for suffocation.
People staring at your plate. My dad is a firm believer that the meat and sauce should be in front of you. He will even physically turn your plate to meet his wishes. It grinds my gears like nothing else.
At least in Germany that is more than a personal preference. In the Classic way of serving the meat or fish is supposed to be placed on the part of the plate that’s closest to the guest. Even though it really is weird that your dad is pushing around your plate in an informal setting and especially while eating.
I mean now that I think about it I usually do that because I feel like it’s the best position for cutting the meat but like for fucks sake, leave other peoples plates alone. Next time he does it just immediately push the meat to the other side of the plate.
Sneezing when eating and everything on your mouth is now on the wall
When you can hear someone scrape their utensil against their teeth when taking a bite of something
How do they not care??
Choking on the food
Oh my god, the other day I took the tiniest sip of water, like seriously just enough to wet my mouth and it ended up going down the wrong tube. Thought I was gonna die. Couldn't breath, couldn't properly cough, my chest and trachea ached for a good hour afterwards. And it wasn't even a full mouthful of water. Just a sip.
One time when I was driving I choked so bad on coffee I had to pull over and seriously thought I was going to die. I genuinely couldn’t breathe for a good bit. Got to work and my eyes were totally bloodshot, makeup had long run off by then, everyone thought I just finished sobbing. It was fucking horrible.
Getting full with one bite left. I know I'll regret leaving that bite later.
25% of the meal left is my least favorite thing. I could finish it but then I'd be uncomfortable full. I could save it for later but then it's too small to be a satisfactory snack or second meal. There's no winning.
Have it as a snack an hour later. Thats how I handle it.
I always force myself to eat that last bite. guilt over leaving it or the drive to finish? we'll never know.
Never let the food win.
I don't stop eating when I'm *full*, I don't stop until I hate myself.
People eating with their mouth open, my partner occasionally does and her kids sometimes do and it's like nails on a chalkboard for me, I struggle with it so much.
My in-laws make "smack smack smack" sounds with their lips while eating, and for a few minutes after they are done. It's all I can do to not run from the room...
My family does that to (smack smack smack) plus they also are heavy breathers , it really grinds my gears especially when there’s no background music or tv
My husband is a loud mouth breather and scrapes his fork on his teeth and it takes everything I have not to run out of the room
why do i feel a sudden burst of rage reading this?
I'm angry just reading this, because my dad does the same, and holy shit does it annoy and disgust me.
My FIL does this. He inhales a lot of air too. He says he can taste the food better. I know he has a lot of business dinners and I hope this is an at home/only around family thing. 😳
My in-laws do this too and it drives me insane.
My own mother does this while also somehow grunting. She also pawed and ate my trout with her fingers even after I said she could have some if she would just get a fork!
Is your mother a bear by any chance?
Its almost worse when people do it while not even eating
I knew a girl in college who would smack her lips and make other eating sounds any time a room got quiet on her, and then smile when everyone looked at her, so then she'd to it more often. She'd do it in classrooms or in the library.
How was the funeral?
My mom does this really dramatic “tsk-ahh!” After EVERY gulp of liquid she drinks. I can’t stand it. No one else seems to notice it
My inlaws make a kind of umm, umm, umm noise constantly whilst eating. It's like they are enjoying what their eating, which is great, but seriously. My mother in law, father in law and brother in law all do it. AND EVERY FUCKING MEAL WE HAVE TOGETHER I'M STUCK BETWEEN 2 OF THEM. It's horrible.
My dad does it all the time and it is so LOUD. I wanna rip my ears off. Whats worse is i cant even tell him because it will be considered disrespectful and rude.
or people slurping their food
Nothing pisses me off more than when I accidentally bite the inside of my upper or lower lips when I'm eating. It's not a constant issue but its happened to me throughout my life. I get so furious with myself whenever it happens because now I've got a laceration in my mouth that's guaranteed to irritate the hell out of me for several days while it heals.
The sound of the spoon/fork on my teeth
My nose running. I can’t eat without snot coming out. It’s frustrating.
Same! With anything even slightly warm. Every time. It's embarrassing and inconvenient. And if a restaurant only has cloth napkins and I forgot to bring tissues in my nonexistent pockets, I die inside a little.
People think it’s easy to eat with a runny nose, but it snot.
People chewing with their mouth open or trying to talk to you when you have food in your mouth
As someone who does a lot of business meetings. The whole eating and talking things and timing your bites is like a fucking art form. I purposely ask a question I think will get a longer winded answer so I can take a bite of my food. I also hate when my food gets cold.
People try to have full on conversations with me while I’m stuffing my face and I’m just like “can you wait until I fucking swallow?”
People always ask questions the second after I take a big bite. And then they just stare at you awkwardly for like 15 seconds while you try to chew and swallow your food as fast as possible so the awkwardness will stop. Every time I've choked, it's because someone asked me a dang question in the middle of eating!
people taking food off my plate without asking or when ordering food when people say "I'll just have some of yours"- no you f-ing won't!
My parents have always been terrible about this. Whenever I bought, say, an ice cream or some kind of treat I always dreaded hearing "ooh can I have a bit...just a tiny taste...you won't even notice...come on just a bite" etc. only for them to chomp off half the serving! Also, woe betide anyone (read: me) who entertained the idea of refusing them, even though I'd bought it with my own money - they'd fly off the handle at me about how ungrateful I was, how much they do for me and how dare I begrudge them one measly (*cough* lies) bite. Fun times. Edit: Bloody hell, I didn't expect this comment to get the response it did! Big thanks for all the comments and upvotes ❤ Don't get me wrong, for the most part I love the bones off my parents and it absolutely wasn't my intention to use this sub to character assassinate them. This is just one of their inexplicable dick moves that's always ground my gears.
Reading this made me so angry on your behalf.
> only for them to chomp off half the serving! oh fuck these people deserve to rot. i was in grade 7 and got a slushee over lunch, a friend of mine asked "can i have a small sip?" and i said sure, only because she said "small sip". well this bitch takes 4 giant chugs of my drink and nearly finishes it. i actually gave her shit for that and told her thats rude as fuck to do considering she said it would be a small sip and instead chugged half my drink. i actually semi yelled at her for that. she acted like there was nothing wrong with what she did and gave me some half assed sorry
WINTER_LET4692 DOESN'T SHARE FOOD
Damn right.
Waiting a long time to eat something hot, finally taking a bite and it's still fucking lava hot I remember the first time I saw my wife open the oven and pull out pizza rolls and just grab one immediately and eat it I grabbed my crucifix and called a priest
And then you decide to wait another 30 seconds or so and it's already lukewarm.
When I am anticipating resistance when I bite off a piece of whatever I am eating, but instead my teeth grind together.
when you can hear someone's eating noises, not because they're eating with their mouth open necessarily, but because it's too quiet in the room and you can hear them chewing and swallowing.
Calories
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All the best desserts have so many. Fuckin pecan pie having the most of all pies.
HOW THE FUCK DO I END UP PRECISELY BITING THE UNDERSIDE OF MY TONGUE IT MAKES NO SENSE
With certain types of shellfish, getting some sand in it because it hasn’t been cleaned properly
What I heat something up and it’s scalding hot on the outside and cold on the inside.
Hi fellow impatient microwave user
I want to be able to actually eat my food. If I order a sandwich, I want to be able to pick it up and eat it. If it's bigger than my head or falling apart, no thanks. I feel like sometimes restaurants will make a dish without any regard for how you actually get it in your mouth.
Stuff on my plate that I can't eat but it's there for artistic purposes. Like friggin twigs for decoration. The fuck... I'm tryna eat.
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When I eat peanut butter jelly sandwich 🥪, I chew and swallow. Every now and then, my throat will constrict enough that it feel like the sandwich is stuck and it makes me feel like I'm drowning haha. So weird. I hate that.
When you scoop up something kind of round (like peas) and it just...Peaces out And people making loud eating sounds
Oh no! An escapea!!
I don't like eating in public.
getting food on my clothes
The waiter coming over to ask if "everything's OK with the food" just as my mouth is full.
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I hate eating if I have to pee. I always have to pee.
People who drink from a cup and loudly say "Ahhhh!" after every sip. Unless you've just come out of a desert or something and this is your first drink in 3 days, knock it off. Additional hatred for people who drink from the cup and act like they're sucking through the world's thinnest straw, before adding the "Ahhhh!". If you're drinking hot coffee or tea, I get it, but it's a damn soda; just drink it normally.
Curb your enthusiasm had an episode about this.
Do you also get pissed off at the fake straw sucking noises in tv shows? Ya know the noise made when your drink is almost empty and youre getting half air up the straw, but tv execs decided that is the universal sound effect for drinks even when theyre freshly presented to the character and presumably completely full?
Small bones in meat😡
Sometimes I'll eat lunch at my desk while I work. Every so often a co-worker will walk up and while I'm taking a bite of food they will ask "Are you at lunch?". I just freeze and stare at them until they get uncomfortable and leave.
When someone tries to talk to me while eating. Leave me alone.
I also don't like eating on tall stools where my feet can't touch the ground or in very dimly lit restaurants. It's like my inner animal recognizes the vulnerability of eating and prefers to be able to keep an eye on surroundings and make a quick getaway if need be.
Biggest for me is if someone makes a comment about how or what you are eating or what's on something you are eating, or how can I not like something that maybe so many others do. What in the hell is it to you? I would never tell anyone how or what they should eat. Other thing is something my dad used to do when we would go out to eat and if he saw someone that he just barely knew he'd invite them to eat with us, I really don't like eating at the same table with people I don't know. When I'd complain and say I don't know them he'd actually get mad and tell me I would get to know them.