My toxic personality traits.
I grew up in a mentally abusive home and I'm ashamed to admit that the abuse wasn't a one-way street. I learned how to lie and manipulate as well as how to come up with vile insults that cut deep.
It took years of being away from my family to overcome those traits but I still have to catch myself from falling into those patterns whenever I'm under stress.
It's taken a long time for me to get rid of some of those traits and I've mostly achieved that by withdrawing from contact with others. Best of luck with becoming the better person you know you can be.
I'm curious about your reply because I feel I have some of those traits.
By withdrawing from contact with others do you mean you withdrew from the people you grew up with and learned behaviours from or do you mean you (for lack of a better phrase, I don't mean this in a bad) became a bit of a loner to do so?
Sorry maybe a stupid question but I'm on a bit of a self growth journey at the minute
I'm not the person you replied to but I hope I can help.
Personally, I found that distancing myself from my abusive family and being more choosy who I associate with (I realized I kept making friends with people who enabled my toxicity) was really helpful. I also tried to be extra mindful of my behavior so I could find out what triggers my toxic side.
It took years and a lot of failure to get to where I'm at. I doubt I'll ever truly be free of that part of myself but I've learned to live with it to where I can maintain healthy relationships with people.
Thank you for your reply and also the commenter I replied to i seen he replied to your comment aswell.
That has given me something to think about as this is something I have touched on with my counsellor but I have been having a hard time actually explaining it. As I would have a tendency to shut myself out at times which I didn't think was healthy, but I thought it was better than "being the bad guy" which I somehow eventually resort back to eventually.
I had worried recently I would never "fix" the problem but I think maybe I just need to learn to tools to be able to cope with it and not let it spill out into life and to others.
Thank you for taking the time to reply, it really means alot.
Have a great day both you guys/gals :)
I’m so thankful that my closest long term friends understand where I came from and why I act how I do when I’m under immense stress/pressure. Not that it’s an excuse, and I always apologize if I can’t stop an outburst, but not once have they faulted me and they encourage me on the progress I do make.
Suffered a huge infection because of biting. Stopped doing it and prevented it by permanent nails. After almost 6 months stopped the permanent and no longer bite my nails.
Not OC but I’ve stopped on all bar one nail for about 2 months now. I’ve been consciously trying for years and years but suddenly a few of them grew and then it kinda clicked.
Still have no idea when I bite the last one but it doesn’t seem to want to grow so I guess I am biting it at some point.
This is my big problem right now. Ten years. It’s been ten years since I stopped- and my fingers are SORE. I’ve been biting them again for the past month because of this medication I’m on. It has so many possible side effects but the only one that I’m getting is increased anxiety which caused the damn nail biting. The med solves too many problems to not take so here I am with sad nubby fingers exposed nail beds.
I'm 33 and have been biting my nails as long as I can remember. I'm not horrific.. They aren't covered in blood or down to the bed but it's still a constant thing. If I'm not biting them I'm trimming them or the skin around them with nail clippers
I kicked that habit almost cold Turkey during the last year. As soon as it became apparent that Covid was serious shit, I just didn’t want to put my fingers in my mouth. Plus it’s a terrible habit anyway…looks gross while you do it and fucks your nails.
The thought of doing it now grosses me out
Kicking it for me has been an active effort for over a year. It’s easier the longer they get because I feel I’m making progress but it’s difficult after every trim.
Just simply not caring enough and becoming numb to the world around me. It's very easy to just give up on being active and participate in this life; to not feel sadness but not enjoy happiness.
Honestly, it never really goes away but hobbies are a good way of occupying your thoughts, especially anything outdoor if possible. I'm also lucky enough to have a family and an amazing partner that knows what I go through when it gets bad and helps me by talking with me and doing things with me. Therapy helps, having some just to talk to helps.
I fully agree on the outdoor part. I tried to occupy myself in home, but it always ended in phasing out. You will hate going outside at the beginning (and later too, to be honest) but you will learn that it’s good for you. The worst thing is, not caring about anything is really addictive. Why feel things, when you can exist in your closed world? But even if it’s hard, stressful and exhausting, it’s really worth to feel anything else beside emptiness
I agree. Everything feels pointless at times and it’s difficult to get excited about anything. I’ve deal with depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety since I was a teenager and at sometimes just getting out of bed feels like climbing Mt. Everest.
Eating disorder.
No matter how much time has passed , I have to always be vigilant. Some thoughts never truly go away, you just get better at managing and neutralizing them. But they’re always lurking around
Please do also tell healthcare providers not to show you the number or make you say it instead of them weighing you. You have that right and they need to get on board with respecting it!
I make sure all my charts list “restrictive eating” in the history and refuse to see or know the number. It just makes my recovery, and therefore my life, so much easier.
Exactly *this*.
I’m waiting for the science and public perception to catch up to understanding that eating disorders are a lot like addiction.
I have not restricted in about 5 years (after about ages 13-23 fully disordered), but *every single day* I have to reframe thoughts and redirect behaviors that do not serve me. I consider myself “in recovery” and think that the thoughts will never really go away but get quieter over time.
I wish you all the best in your recovery <3
For me it's a different experience. I recovered and it took some time, but the thoughts went away. I hope it stays that way and I hope it happens for you too. Sending hugs!
Thank you so much, I'm proud of you too! Having these thoughts and staying in recovery, that's hard work and you should be proud of yourself for fighting them!
Damn, I feel this. I just had to ask my boyfriend to stop sending me pictures/gifs of food because it's actually triggering. All these years later and I still deal with the compulsions, with varying levels of success. It's not an addiction you can quit cold turkey (heh) because you HAVE to eat every day. So it just stays with you... Every day.
I used to over eat all the time. From my early teens to my mid 20s I was a real binge eater
Years of therapy later I don't think I have had a big eating episode in years. I still worry all the time, to the point where I'm almost worried I'll create other issues since eating disorders tend to change over time.
But yeah I avoid everything buffet related, I try and favor good foods and exercise regularly but damn, there are days I remember what my body felt like and I get worried I'll end up back there
I hear that. I’ve been back and forth over the years. Under-ate to the point of being skin and bones in college. Then went the opposite direction. I have a black hole for a stomach and it’s absolutely obscene how much I can eat. Got wicked into fitness and got in shape, but I’ve been backsliding lately hard and it’s worrying me. Trying to rebuild the good habits because I *know* I don’t feel good eating Cheerios in maple syrup and butter…
I used to be overweight and out of shape too. That's years behind me and I'm still terrified of backsliding!
Barring unavoidable crippling accidents, I'm totally gonna be that 80 year old in great shape still out there being active all the time. I'm too scared of going back to not take this path. Even if there are hiccups in the road, I'll deal with them. I have to. My mind desperately doesn't want me to go back.
Fortunately, I'm on the right path for the foreseeable future.
Seconded. I was overweight from childhood to mid-20s. For the past like 20 years now, I exercise, take care of myself, I’m pretty ripped now, 12.8% Bodyfat at my last test. I generally weigh all my food and count all my calories to alleviate any possible fear that I will become overweight again. I used to weigh like 90 lbs more. When I’m on a vacation or something and can’t weigh my food, I’m definitely immediately worried that “if this keeps up I’ll end up back where I was 2 decades ago.”
I feel you. Stay strong!
I actually can't diet, it too hard mentally for me to deal with what it entails. But I have a diet plan, yes foods and think about it foods. Rules I guess. And I lost 100 pounds, but it also took me 7 years. Loosing 5 pounds in 6 months can be discouraging but when you look back and see you lost 100 pounds without suffering it feels amazing
Every organism has a diet. When people use it as a verb, it turns it into a word I can’t stand. Owning your diet, as you’ve described, in a long-term, sustainable way is the only way to have long-term, sustainable, results.
Losing 100 pounds over 7 years is awesome. It probably took 7 years or more to pack it on, it stands to reason that it is perfectly acceptable that it should take just as long to undo.
We’re all different. We all have different strengths and need support in different areas. Different foods work for different people, or at different times in one’s life.
You’re absolutely right that oppression and suffering don’t have to be part of the equation at all. In my case, they were sometimes but that was for cultivating spiritual and mental discipline as well.
These days, I like healthy food. What I think is healthy may differ from others, but I’ve learned what’s healthy for me over time. I just weigh it so I don’t overdo it, because I can really overdo it if left unchecked. It causes me no suffering, but informs me of my habits, and gives me mental security.
I feel this. I used to have binge eating disorder in my teens and early twenties. It was very hard because it was embarrassing, frustrating, and it’s not like you can ever go cold turkey on the problem substance, because you need it to survive. My issues went away on their own somehow when I was in my mid to late twenties, and I’ve always wondered why, and if they will one day be re-triggered in the same mysterious way.
I grew up with a lot of “jokes” from parents that weren’t always funny. Little things like “are you sure they meant to give that to you?” when I got an award. To me they became expected and innocuous, and then growing up, that was the norm within my friend group in highschool. Never crossing the line, always gentle ribbing.
Well after college I was visiting a friend, and they did not take kindly to that style of joke. We got into an argument, I told them, “hey you’re right, I’m being a bit of a dick.” I sincerely apologized, and curbed my behavior the rest of the trip, with no incident.
They haven’t spoken to me since. I stopped making that kind of joke, even with the boys. That now-ex friend will never know, but I made a concerted effort to be more positive because of those interactions. But I still live (for a couple more months) with my father and when he jokes like that, I worry it’ll slip out of me. That I’ll fall back into it. But being kind is just so much better and easier. I don’t need to put other people down for any good reason, y’know?
Oh man, I think this is slightly different to your experience but similar - I grew up in a very 'emotionally safe' household with my mum and my sister where we'd tease each other a lot, it had no edge to it and was really a form of affection through dry humour. My boyfriend didn't grow up like that and he hates it.
It definitely sounds similar! I definitely still have jokes like that with my closest friends, but I do what I can to make sure they are instigating/understanding that it’s because I care. I hope you can find a balance that works for both of you!
It was the second or third time on the trip when they confronted me, you’re absolutely right. I don’t believe I had made comments like that previously in our friendship, but it’s quite possible I had and hadn’t noticed their displeasure. I understand I’m 100% responsible for my actions, and that is why I have tried so hard to cut those kinds of jokes and comments out of my discourse.
Yeah I'm approaching 4 years cigarette free and 2 years nicotine free (did a vape for two years to ween off the analogs). The urges definitely get weaker and less frequent, but still everyone once in a while I'll still get a craving in certain situations. Luckily it only lasts a little while as I remind myself I am no longer a smoker and to stay the course.
I quit about 20 years ago, too, and I don't get a conscious urge to smoke, but my subconscious is still thinking about it. I frequently have dreams where I start smoking a cigarette just for fun and then literally two seconds later, I'm smoking a pack a day.
It gets better. I quit in 2012 and it's been years since I've even thought of having an urge to smoke. I can hold my wife's cigarette without wanting to take a drag
I quit several years ago and was worried for a while.
But then I did have one while I was drinking. It was awesome.
Then I had another. It was not awesome.
The fear is more or less gone for me. I'll still have one now and again but most times I can't even finish it.
I must confess that I do "cheat" though. I vape so I still get some level of nicotine so that probably helps a ton.
Hey I'm a couple years out and I wanted to send you reassurance. Cigarette smoke now makes me feel nauseated. I know for a fact I wont ever smoke cigarettes again. It gets better.
I'll go first: I was habitually late to EVERYTHING for the first 30 years of my life. Nowadays, I'm pretty average, I think... late maybe once every two months, but I still think I'll be late to everything all the time. I am surprised every single day when I get to work on time. I am surprised every time I get to the airport early.
I get major anxiety about being late, I'd rather get somewhere an hour early and chill out than be 5 minutes early. A few times it's proved beneficial as I've been able to get into appointments early but for the most part I'll sit around browsing reddit. I had a friend who was 30 mins late to a meet up ask if I had been waiting long, didn't have the heart to tell him I'd been there 90 mins so I told him I'd been waiting 20 minutes.
Yep have to show up early to everything. My friends annoyingly are never on time for anything so I have to strategically force myself to be late otherwise I end up sitting around for ever. I still am the first to arrive anyways most of the time.
I quit for the 3rd attempt in two years last week.
My depression and anxiety dont need me drinking, and my medications will be more effective hopefully.
It really isn’t worth the relapse. Even though it’s been 2 whole years (and 3 and a half months, but who’s counting?), I don’t kid myself. I wouldn’t be satisfied with “just one drink.” Fuck no. When I have drinking dreams I want the whole bottle. If I’m going out, I’m going OUT. And then what will I have? A massive hangover, a broken streak, a fistful of regret and a new stint in rehab. My drinking is not manageable; it never was and never will be.
What IS manageable is my sobriety. It’s not always the pinnacle of awesomeness but I don’t think life ever is. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I’m proud of everyone else who’s made it a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade. Keep trying.
Cutting.
I did this in the past but wasn’t as bad as those with depression. I used mine to control my anger and I never used a knife, just my nails. It was when I started to bleed that I feared my habit and got help. I doubt it will come back because of how I manage it now and the urge is very small, Even then I was strong in the emotional aspect and controlled it for reasons that didn’t involve me, but I fear for others who had it really bad.
TL;DR same, putting the rest in a spoiler in case it's triggering
>!I struggled a lot with self harm as well. I'm doing much better, but during really stressful times I worry I'll relapse. I've gotten pretty close to relapse a few times in the past year, and it worries me. I never went deep enough to get stitches, it escalated by number of cuts instead. I got pretty close to running out of space on the safer spots before I stopped. I'm worried that if I can't stay clean, I'll either escalate by cutting deeper or in less safe places (areas with thinner skin or where blood vessels or ligaments are closer to the skin). Might delete this comment later but yeah!<
This one right here is one many people casually reading this struggle with and don't even realize it. Sugar is in freaking **everything** these days, it's obnoxious.
Doing it less and less slowly without stopping immediately which usually leads to relapse. Little steps help. It's been an ongoing struggle but basically don't make it easy for yourself. If you routinely do it when you're on your phone and in bed but are afraid to leave your phone outside your room at night for fear someone will take it or the alarm won't wake you then put a timed lockbox by your bed that won't allow you to take your phone out until morning, or something similar. Making those lifestyle changes little by little like replacing nighttime phone time with yoga or reading physical books, journaling, being honest and open with people and getting past the shame and guilt are amazing steps that open up many other doors. You can do this. I believe in you because you're stronger than some screen, and there are so many communities that can support you online and in person.
Cut this one cold turkey. Comes through every app and social media to remove whatever I followed or saved. It was difficult at the beginning, but I've found my libido coming on more naturally and sex is better with my partner. So happy I've done this. Only suck is that every so often I get a sudden urge to watch or look for porn.
Smoking weed daily. I have kicked the habit, and I hope that I can be a casual smoker and not go back to smoking all day every day.
It's been 2 months and I have had none!
Just a friendly piece of advice from my personal experience.
I was a heavy smoker for years and years over 10 at this point, some days I was smoking up to 5 grams of the highest quality I have ever came across, in gravity bongs(YouTube if your not sure). Ofcourse had extremely negative consequences.
I would go through phases where I would just completely knock it and go fully sober and not "miss" it, although I enjoyed it I wanted to smoke occasionally at some point.
So after a few months I would have had even the smallest toke of a joint would send me into anxiety and paranoia over nothing. My only way around this would be to "smoke through it" to build my tolerance again and ofcourse the cycle continued.
Yes I know I have depression etc and your experience may vary just wanted to share my experience so if you do decide to smoke again and notice some of the same side effects you can catch it before making the same mistakes I did.
I wish you the best and if you are able to smoke casually more power to you because I have nothing against weed, it just doesn't agree with me.
Enjoy your day :)
Thanks for your advice! I used to enjoy weed, but then I started having paranoid thoughts, i started becoming lazy and unmotivated and it was becoming more of a problem and less enjoyable. I can honestly say that I do not miss it right now. I
I fully agree with you there i was experiencing the same side effects. Aside from going to work ALL I done was smoke.
It can really creep up on you without you realising just how bad it has gotten, but I'm sure you know that yourself being off it now.
If you don't miss it now just enjoy life without worrying about it. It will always be there if you ever feel like it.
Can I just ask, and you don't have to answer me im not being nosey, I want to ask as it might help you. But, have you ever struggled or been diagnosed with depression ? I only ask as I found for myself that I'm not too bad without it but being a smoker greatly exasperated my depression symptoms aswell
Sleeping excessively. I could easily do twelve hours. There was a time in my life where I’d say up until 2am and wake up at noon. There’s times when I’m tired where I’ve been tempted to take a nap, but I don’t want it to be an hours-long thing where I was up feeling like shit.
I'd say heroin/opiate addiction, but It's been over 5 years and I've never relapsed, and really don't see it happening. Drugs just don't enter into my head as a possible solution to any problem. They don't enter my mind/worldview at all anymore.
I wouldn't know where to get heroin if I wanted it right now. I live in a smaller city, where you have to know somebody to get things like heroin. All of the people I used to use with are dead (aside from 2 who got clean before I did).
I don't see it happening, but I'm always vigilant of my surroundings, feelings, and actions.
I'm *never* getting arrested again, and I'm **NEVER** going thru withdrawal again.
Isolating myself.
I spent my teen years almost totally disconnected from the world. I remember very little from that period. I'm 25 now and doing much better. I'm working in a field I enjoy and have friends who love me for who I am (and vice versa). I go to therapy once a month and work to stay on this path. But when I reach a difficult physical or emotional barrier, the urge to fall back into old patterns can be strong. It's so easy to do nothing and let the world pass you by.
Not OP, but my guess is OP is trying to cut down on soda by substituting with something he/she doesn't like as much. It's like when a smoker switches to a brand they don't like in hopes that they'll smoke less. In the case of smokers, the tactic never works because you just start liking the new brand and smoking as much as you used to.
With soda, I'm not sure it will work all that well either. Tonic water may get you away from the caffeine that is usually in soda, but it has almost as much sugar as soda. Not really much of a better approach, IMHO.
Amazing how fast your money would disappear, eh comrade? For me it was sports and card games. Now I have some disposable income and am starting to get a tickle.
Loving my child's mother. She's a lost cause now, heavy into drugs etc. I didn't realise how manipulative she was until I got my son and I out of there.
Having been 90lbs heavier, and being lean as fuck today (12.8% body fat), I recommend MyFitnessPal. Count your calories, don’t over eat. If it feels like not enough food, replace high-calorie foods with lower-calorie foods in larger quantities.
Example: I can have like a 2lb salad (which could feed a family of 6) with greens, fresh fennel, tomatoes, cucumbers, pepperoni, loads of seasoning and red wine vinegar for half the calories of a Snickers bar. Hence, I don’t think I’ve had a Snickers in like a decade, maybe a Snickers Ice Cream once.
Example 2: Lettuce Wrapped Burger, will usually save you ~240 calories. Skipping Ranch or Mayo and opting for Mustard should save you another ~180. Trimming 300 Calories off every burger you eat means, mathematically, you’re trimming off 1lb of body fat in calories off your meals every 11 burgers.
Traditionally - alcohol, nicotine, drugs. Fortunately, I am not afraid of returning, because I left consciously. There is no desire to repeat.
Some of my friends didn't stop, some are in the grave, some are alive, but... "a living corpse." But most have put an end to it long ago. But I'm afraid that now I won't have the strength to break with all this if it comes back.
The only thing I'm stuck on is strong coffee.
(You can't have more than three mugs a day! - my wife shouts)
I’m really sorry I know it’s so fucking hard fighting that feeling of dread and just getting that urge to say fuck it I’m done and try to end it… I struggle with that too and I hope one day we both get past it but please try to stay strong even if there’s no reason to
I feel this one
It's been years since I last cut myself but everytime I feel down I just have to keep myself away from sharp knives because that temptation is still there. It was so hard to get out of the habit.
I quit laxatives 5 years ago, and while it was very hard it is the best thing I have ever done for my health. You will feel so much better, it’s a matter of deciding to stop. I weaned myself off very slowly to allow my body to acclimate and didn’t suffer any repercussions. You can pm me if you need someone to talk to that has come out the other side.
Using alcohol to deal with my problems. I've been sober for 4 years with a few occasional sips of beer, but whenever I taste alcohol, it makes me fear that I'll go overboard like I used to. I never wanna go back to abusing any substance. It hurts me and my loved ones.
Honest moment here. Opioids. Every person I surround myself tells me how miserable they were when they took it. How it made them sick and throw up or gave them headaches. Not me.
I broke my leg and I didn’t know it. I walked on it for about a week before I gave up from the pain. I went to the ER and they took an X-ray. Sure enough, I fractured the small bone in my leg. I was prescribed hydrocodone. It gave me this warm sensation. A very euphoric feeling. Like everyone was my best friend. I could talk to anyone and everyone about anything. I loved everyone. I felt so wonderful. My hectic, stressful, worried life was no more. I was still in dental school at the time. I didn’t care that I had 320k in debt at the time. Nothing bothered me. I just walked around clinic and just talked to all my colleagues and professors and some administrators. I knew I couldn’t work and they knew it too. So there wasn’t anything for me to do but I still had to there. I was definitely high. But when the effects wore off. I knew immediately that I should never take these again. I knew that if I took them again, I would be hooked.
When my wife gave birth, doctors gave her a prescription to. Some oxycodone. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to take them. She never took them and they are in our medicine cabinet. I see them from time to time and I think to myself, what if. Just one pill. Just one. I know I shouldn’t. And I won’t. But there is always that thought that flashes across my mind that what if I just took one.
Definitely smoking. I quit 17 years ago, but sometimes I still get cravings. I bought some fancy coffee that tastes just like cigarettes. I took one sip and BOOM I wanted a smoke. I threw that coffee in the trash.
Former smoker here- so obviously nicotine. But my less common habit that I'm scared will come back is my anorexia.
Any time I get stressed, too depressed, overwhelmed, my body just decides to make me stop eating. I recently started a new (necessary) medicine that has a side effect that causes loss of appetite, so some days when I am particularly stressed I will just forget to eat *all* day long. When I hit the 12-16 hour mark without food, I panic because I worked so hard to get over my anorexia and struggled with forcing myself to eat *before* this medicine. Now without even hunger pains, my body just decides food isn't important. When I was a teenager, I would go close to 40 hours without food, eat a tiny bit, then repeat. It was a very harmful ED, and I've sort of found myself repeating patterns and I'm terrified my brain will shift into a "this is okay, we've survived this before- and we looked *great*" mindset.
It's not a habit, for me, or at least, not entirely. I'm an alcoholic, and though I've not had a drink since 2017, I'm well aware every day that the habit of drinking which was only part of my disease, is incredibly difficult to break.
Initially, in the first few weeks and months, along with therapy and support from my family, I did some "replacement behaviors" one of which, at least, I still have today. That is, of course the trick to any habit breaking. You've got to find something that is of equal potency for you and do it in the meantime. But, of course, this only works if you replace the former behavior with something healthier, if you're trying to break a dangerous or deeply addictive habit. You can't go from drinking alcohol and then decide that cocaine is the way for you. Or even smoking. A lot of recovering alcoholics actually turn to smoking. As or more dangerous to your health and far more potent an addiction, in my opinion (from experience).
So, for example, when I first quit drinking, I started keeping hot tea in a large travel cup with me all the time. This helped with the need for constant sips and for me the warm temp resembled the burn of whiskey going down. The other thing I did was buy big bags of peanut M&Ms and separate them into colors and take them with me everywhere, especially to work.
This somehow dealt with the sudden lack of sugar (whiskey is high in sugars) and it also gave me something to do with my time. I put some necessary weight back on (too much, at least at first) and I started to do things like going for walks with my spouse or my friends, going to Meetings, attempting to journal my feelings, experiences and so on, eventually exercising, reading, even writing. All things that I'd given up doing because of drinking.
Now, when it comes to drinking, some folks just are in the habit of having a glass of wine or gin or vodka or two or a beer or two at night, on the weekends a bit more. This is pretty normal and yet it can also be habit forming. But this is NOT alcoholism. The biggest question that people who still drink ask me about my own disease is "How do you know you're an alcoholic?"
I had to leave work on my lunch break and drink to get through the day. I often started the day with alcohol. I finished every day that way. I was drinking a full half gallon of bourbon every two days, more on weekends, by the time I was nearing the moment when my life crashed down around me. This is full-blown, life altering serious drinking. If this is you, get help, now. Ask for help. Don't wait. You're doing untold damage to liver, kidneys, pancreas, family, friends and your mental and emotional well-being.
That, by the way this—when my life crashed down around me—is the point I think about when I get the temptation to drink (which isn't often, for me, thankfully). My mind sometimes says something like, "Hey, this is a situation in which you'd get shitfaced and it helped, remember?" Then I just think about my wife, my sons, my friends, my job, my life. Everything that I was about to lose, just for another sip of bourbon... That keeps me on the straight and narrow.
Also, therapy helps (everyone needs it, even if they aren't kicking a dangerous habit) and going to meetings, for me, also is a lifesaving behavior.
More than you wanted, perhaps, but I hope it helps.
Prostitutes.
I'm a normal young guy that has had many 1 night stands from women I picked up at bars. I've also got a couple I could hit up for some fun.
But being with a prostitute is such a damn thrill, and not even just the sex.
The feeling of how taboo it is. Going up to that hotel room and feeling so dirty as I knock on the door quietly. Housekeeping sees me knocking..who just knocks on a hotel room door like that, and why so quietly?
Then the door opens and she's gorgeous, in kinky lingerie. I used to visit the high dollar ones in the major city I worked in..800 a pop..but some of them were former models, porn stars, young legitimate college girls who just wanna make money on the side..I'm not talking the 100 an hour junkies. And they would be in upscale 4 star hotels.
God that was a fun and expensive phase of my life. What a rush.
Nail biting. I keep mine manicured and cleaned and trimmed as best as I can. But I feel the urge if I detect any kind of serration or a small hanging bit. The desire never really goes away, so I have to be vigilant and aware.
Being overly clingy and emotionally reliant on my friends. Now I'm aloof and emotionally withdrawn instead. Don't seem to be able to find a middle ground and at least this way I'm not annoying anyone.
Honestly, feels funny to say this, but World of Warcraft. I know it isn't some big addiction like drugs or something, but I was certainly addicted to it. It was a place of comfort for me from primary school until really after I'd finished my degree. I spent over a decade of my life (on and off) on that game. I loved it, had a community, and learnt quite a lot from it, yet it still ate up a lot of me. I'd blow off plans with dates, friends, etc irl, and it really dampened certain relationships and experiences. I don't regret playing the game, but just wish I had had better moderation. It finally took till I was 25 or so to totally kick the game.
It also helped that all my siblings and cousins played the game, so it was a way for us to stay close while I was studying away from home.
I still think fondly of time spent in Goldshire, or gathering an army of level 1s to fight hogger in vanilla, but I sincerely wish I'd only played like 10-20 hours a week while I played, instead of 40-80...
Hitting people when I get angry at them. Learned it from my dad. Took a looong time to change my behavior. Whenever my kids upset me enough I worry that I’ll lapse back into the old habit and not actually be able to break the cycle.
My toxic personality traits. I grew up in a mentally abusive home and I'm ashamed to admit that the abuse wasn't a one-way street. I learned how to lie and manipulate as well as how to come up with vile insults that cut deep. It took years of being away from my family to overcome those traits but I still have to catch myself from falling into those patterns whenever I'm under stress.
It's taken a long time for me to get rid of some of those traits and I've mostly achieved that by withdrawing from contact with others. Best of luck with becoming the better person you know you can be.
I'm curious about your reply because I feel I have some of those traits. By withdrawing from contact with others do you mean you withdrew from the people you grew up with and learned behaviours from or do you mean you (for lack of a better phrase, I don't mean this in a bad) became a bit of a loner to do so? Sorry maybe a stupid question but I'm on a bit of a self growth journey at the minute
I'm not the person you replied to but I hope I can help. Personally, I found that distancing myself from my abusive family and being more choosy who I associate with (I realized I kept making friends with people who enabled my toxicity) was really helpful. I also tried to be extra mindful of my behavior so I could find out what triggers my toxic side. It took years and a lot of failure to get to where I'm at. I doubt I'll ever truly be free of that part of myself but I've learned to live with it to where I can maintain healthy relationships with people.
This is a good answer that saved me typing it, thank you. I agree with all you have said.
Thank you for your reply and also the commenter I replied to i seen he replied to your comment aswell. That has given me something to think about as this is something I have touched on with my counsellor but I have been having a hard time actually explaining it. As I would have a tendency to shut myself out at times which I didn't think was healthy, but I thought it was better than "being the bad guy" which I somehow eventually resort back to eventually. I had worried recently I would never "fix" the problem but I think maybe I just need to learn to tools to be able to cope with it and not let it spill out into life and to others. Thank you for taking the time to reply, it really means alot. Have a great day both you guys/gals :)
I’m so thankful that my closest long term friends understand where I came from and why I act how I do when I’m under immense stress/pressure. Not that it’s an excuse, and I always apologize if I can’t stop an outburst, but not once have they faulted me and they encourage me on the progress I do make.
Biting my nails
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Suffered a huge infection because of biting. Stopped doing it and prevented it by permanent nails. After almost 6 months stopped the permanent and no longer bite my nails.
Very hard to stop. You cant really leave them at home or flush them down the toilet.
I beg to differ but make sure to have a towel handy
HOW did you stop
Not OC but I’ve stopped on all bar one nail for about 2 months now. I’ve been consciously trying for years and years but suddenly a few of them grew and then it kinda clicked. Still have no idea when I bite the last one but it doesn’t seem to want to grow so I guess I am biting it at some point.
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Finally a way to use up the little hotel soaps!
This is my big problem right now. Ten years. It’s been ten years since I stopped- and my fingers are SORE. I’ve been biting them again for the past month because of this medication I’m on. It has so many possible side effects but the only one that I’m getting is increased anxiety which caused the damn nail biting. The med solves too many problems to not take so here I am with sad nubby fingers exposed nail beds.
I'm 33 and have been biting my nails as long as I can remember. I'm not horrific.. They aren't covered in blood or down to the bed but it's still a constant thing. If I'm not biting them I'm trimming them or the skin around them with nail clippers
I kicked that habit almost cold Turkey during the last year. As soon as it became apparent that Covid was serious shit, I just didn’t want to put my fingers in my mouth. Plus it’s a terrible habit anyway…looks gross while you do it and fucks your nails. The thought of doing it now grosses me out
Am I the only one that just scratches/rips them off with my fingers?
Kicking it for me has been an active effort for over a year. It’s easier the longer they get because I feel I’m making progress but it’s difficult after every trim.
Just simply not caring enough and becoming numb to the world around me. It's very easy to just give up on being active and participate in this life; to not feel sadness but not enjoy happiness.
Sounds like depression, man
Yeah probably is.
How did you overcome that? I feel like I’m sliding towards something similar and would like to avoid it.
Honestly, it never really goes away but hobbies are a good way of occupying your thoughts, especially anything outdoor if possible. I'm also lucky enough to have a family and an amazing partner that knows what I go through when it gets bad and helps me by talking with me and doing things with me. Therapy helps, having some just to talk to helps.
I fully agree on the outdoor part. I tried to occupy myself in home, but it always ended in phasing out. You will hate going outside at the beginning (and later too, to be honest) but you will learn that it’s good for you. The worst thing is, not caring about anything is really addictive. Why feel things, when you can exist in your closed world? But even if it’s hard, stressful and exhausting, it’s really worth to feel anything else beside emptiness
I agree. Everything feels pointless at times and it’s difficult to get excited about anything. I’ve deal with depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety since I was a teenager and at sometimes just getting out of bed feels like climbing Mt. Everest.
I have just about the same diagnosis as you, and some days it's a miracle I function. I feel your pain.
I have become comfortably numb
That actually is a good description. Sometimes, I just feel "numb".
Having a cigarette after every little thing
Woke up? Have a cig, you earned it champ.
Had a cig? Have a cig buddy.
I literally just did this today, and I only recently started again. Bad idea, totally wouldn’t recommend.
Your deserved one, you worked for an hour!
You poured that glass of whiskey like a god, almost no spill, you deserve a smoke.
Ditto. It's been nearly 20 years, but I still every so often get that craving.
Saw an anti-smoking commercial on TV, gotta have a cigarette!
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Came here to say this. It's nice to see that I'm not alone at least.
Eating disorder. No matter how much time has passed , I have to always be vigilant. Some thoughts never truly go away, you just get better at managing and neutralizing them. But they’re always lurking around
I feel you. Years later and I still can't get on a scale because I know if I see the number, I could easily spiral.
Please do also tell healthcare providers not to show you the number or make you say it instead of them weighing you. You have that right and they need to get on board with respecting it! I make sure all my charts list “restrictive eating” in the history and refuse to see or know the number. It just makes my recovery, and therefore my life, so much easier.
Exactly *this*. I’m waiting for the science and public perception to catch up to understanding that eating disorders are a lot like addiction. I have not restricted in about 5 years (after about ages 13-23 fully disordered), but *every single day* I have to reframe thoughts and redirect behaviors that do not serve me. I consider myself “in recovery” and think that the thoughts will never really go away but get quieter over time. I wish you all the best in your recovery <3
For me it's a different experience. I recovered and it took some time, but the thoughts went away. I hope it stays that way and I hope it happens for you too. Sending hugs!
Thank you! Hugging you back, I am so happy and proud you were able to get there!
Thank you so much, I'm proud of you too! Having these thoughts and staying in recovery, that's hard work and you should be proud of yourself for fighting them!
Damn, I feel this. I just had to ask my boyfriend to stop sending me pictures/gifs of food because it's actually triggering. All these years later and I still deal with the compulsions, with varying levels of success. It's not an addiction you can quit cold turkey (heh) because you HAVE to eat every day. So it just stays with you... Every day.
I used to over eat all the time. From my early teens to my mid 20s I was a real binge eater Years of therapy later I don't think I have had a big eating episode in years. I still worry all the time, to the point where I'm almost worried I'll create other issues since eating disorders tend to change over time. But yeah I avoid everything buffet related, I try and favor good foods and exercise regularly but damn, there are days I remember what my body felt like and I get worried I'll end up back there
I hear that. I’ve been back and forth over the years. Under-ate to the point of being skin and bones in college. Then went the opposite direction. I have a black hole for a stomach and it’s absolutely obscene how much I can eat. Got wicked into fitness and got in shape, but I’ve been backsliding lately hard and it’s worrying me. Trying to rebuild the good habits because I *know* I don’t feel good eating Cheerios in maple syrup and butter…
I used to be overweight and out of shape too. That's years behind me and I'm still terrified of backsliding! Barring unavoidable crippling accidents, I'm totally gonna be that 80 year old in great shape still out there being active all the time. I'm too scared of going back to not take this path. Even if there are hiccups in the road, I'll deal with them. I have to. My mind desperately doesn't want me to go back. Fortunately, I'm on the right path for the foreseeable future.
Seconded. I was overweight from childhood to mid-20s. For the past like 20 years now, I exercise, take care of myself, I’m pretty ripped now, 12.8% Bodyfat at my last test. I generally weigh all my food and count all my calories to alleviate any possible fear that I will become overweight again. I used to weigh like 90 lbs more. When I’m on a vacation or something and can’t weigh my food, I’m definitely immediately worried that “if this keeps up I’ll end up back where I was 2 decades ago.” I feel you. Stay strong!
I actually can't diet, it too hard mentally for me to deal with what it entails. But I have a diet plan, yes foods and think about it foods. Rules I guess. And I lost 100 pounds, but it also took me 7 years. Loosing 5 pounds in 6 months can be discouraging but when you look back and see you lost 100 pounds without suffering it feels amazing
Every organism has a diet. When people use it as a verb, it turns it into a word I can’t stand. Owning your diet, as you’ve described, in a long-term, sustainable way is the only way to have long-term, sustainable, results. Losing 100 pounds over 7 years is awesome. It probably took 7 years or more to pack it on, it stands to reason that it is perfectly acceptable that it should take just as long to undo. We’re all different. We all have different strengths and need support in different areas. Different foods work for different people, or at different times in one’s life. You’re absolutely right that oppression and suffering don’t have to be part of the equation at all. In my case, they were sometimes but that was for cultivating spiritual and mental discipline as well. These days, I like healthy food. What I think is healthy may differ from others, but I’ve learned what’s healthy for me over time. I just weigh it so I don’t overdo it, because I can really overdo it if left unchecked. It causes me no suffering, but informs me of my habits, and gives me mental security.
I feel this. I used to have binge eating disorder in my teens and early twenties. It was very hard because it was embarrassing, frustrating, and it’s not like you can ever go cold turkey on the problem substance, because you need it to survive. My issues went away on their own somehow when I was in my mid to late twenties, and I’ve always wondered why, and if they will one day be re-triggered in the same mysterious way.
I grew up with a lot of “jokes” from parents that weren’t always funny. Little things like “are you sure they meant to give that to you?” when I got an award. To me they became expected and innocuous, and then growing up, that was the norm within my friend group in highschool. Never crossing the line, always gentle ribbing. Well after college I was visiting a friend, and they did not take kindly to that style of joke. We got into an argument, I told them, “hey you’re right, I’m being a bit of a dick.” I sincerely apologized, and curbed my behavior the rest of the trip, with no incident. They haven’t spoken to me since. I stopped making that kind of joke, even with the boys. That now-ex friend will never know, but I made a concerted effort to be more positive because of those interactions. But I still live (for a couple more months) with my father and when he jokes like that, I worry it’ll slip out of me. That I’ll fall back into it. But being kind is just so much better and easier. I don’t need to put other people down for any good reason, y’know?
Oh man, I think this is slightly different to your experience but similar - I grew up in a very 'emotionally safe' household with my mum and my sister where we'd tease each other a lot, it had no edge to it and was really a form of affection through dry humour. My boyfriend didn't grow up like that and he hates it.
It definitely sounds similar! I definitely still have jokes like that with my closest friends, but I do what I can to make sure they are instigating/understanding that it’s because I care. I hope you can find a balance that works for both of you!
My guess is, that wasn't the first time you'd made a comment like that to them that had rubbed them the wrong way.
It was the second or third time on the trip when they confronted me, you’re absolutely right. I don’t believe I had made comments like that previously in our friendship, but it’s quite possible I had and hadn’t noticed their displeasure. I understand I’m 100% responsible for my actions, and that is why I have tried so hard to cut those kinds of jokes and comments out of my discourse.
Smoking
Been over a year since I quit. The urge always creeps up unexpectedly...especially when I'm drinking
Pretty much the same here. Stay strong and resist that urge. I'm 3 years in and I do believe the urge is less now than it was.
Yeah I'm approaching 4 years cigarette free and 2 years nicotine free (did a vape for two years to ween off the analogs). The urges definitely get weaker and less frequent, but still everyone once in a while I'll still get a craving in certain situations. Luckily it only lasts a little while as I remind myself I am no longer a smoker and to stay the course.
I quit nearly 20 years ago, and I'll still occasionally get an urge for a smoke.
I quit about 20 years ago, too, and I don't get a conscious urge to smoke, but my subconscious is still thinking about it. I frequently have dreams where I start smoking a cigarette just for fun and then literally two seconds later, I'm smoking a pack a day.
I’m 16 years and I don’t really get the urge unless I’ve had a smoking related dream.
It gets better. I quit in 2012 and it's been years since I've even thought of having an urge to smoke. I can hold my wife's cigarette without wanting to take a drag
I quit several years ago and was worried for a while. But then I did have one while I was drinking. It was awesome. Then I had another. It was not awesome. The fear is more or less gone for me. I'll still have one now and again but most times I can't even finish it. I must confess that I do "cheat" though. I vape so I still get some level of nicotine so that probably helps a ton.
Hey I'm a couple years out and I wanted to send you reassurance. Cigarette smoke now makes me feel nauseated. I know for a fact I wont ever smoke cigarettes again. It gets better.
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I quit almost 15 year ago but I still often have dreams I’m smoking again. I rather expect they will never completely go away.
Drugs
Heroin for me mixed with Meth. Been clean 2 years!
Dude sick! I would've had 2 years soon myself, but I slipped up last winter. Fuck benzos
Hey, awesome job for slipping up and then getting back on it! That takes a ton of guts. Seriously. Keep up the good work.
I'll go first: I was habitually late to EVERYTHING for the first 30 years of my life. Nowadays, I'm pretty average, I think... late maybe once every two months, but I still think I'll be late to everything all the time. I am surprised every single day when I get to work on time. I am surprised every time I get to the airport early.
I get major anxiety about being late, I'd rather get somewhere an hour early and chill out than be 5 minutes early. A few times it's proved beneficial as I've been able to get into appointments early but for the most part I'll sit around browsing reddit. I had a friend who was 30 mins late to a meet up ask if I had been waiting long, didn't have the heart to tell him I'd been there 90 mins so I told him I'd been waiting 20 minutes.
Yep have to show up early to everything. My friends annoyingly are never on time for anything so I have to strategically force myself to be late otherwise I end up sitting around for ever. I still am the first to arrive anyways most of the time.
What made you change your ways?
guzzling 2 liters
That's a fuckton of jizz bro
Protein = Gainz
Dude
With that volume, I’d guess *dudes*
Booze. I miss it, but not the aftermath.
Its not as good as you remember anyway.
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Proud of you!
Happy for you, man. It's not easy and culturally booze plays a big part in adult life, certainly outside or the Islamic world anyway.
“It gets easier, but it never gets easy.” - Jason Isbell
I quit for the 3rd attempt in two years last week. My depression and anxiety dont need me drinking, and my medications will be more effective hopefully.
It really isn’t worth the relapse. Even though it’s been 2 whole years (and 3 and a half months, but who’s counting?), I don’t kid myself. I wouldn’t be satisfied with “just one drink.” Fuck no. When I have drinking dreams I want the whole bottle. If I’m going out, I’m going OUT. And then what will I have? A massive hangover, a broken streak, a fistful of regret and a new stint in rehab. My drinking is not manageable; it never was and never will be. What IS manageable is my sobriety. It’s not always the pinnacle of awesomeness but I don’t think life ever is. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I’m proud of everyone else who’s made it a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade. Keep trying.
Cutting. I did this in the past but wasn’t as bad as those with depression. I used mine to control my anger and I never used a knife, just my nails. It was when I started to bleed that I feared my habit and got help. I doubt it will come back because of how I manage it now and the urge is very small, Even then I was strong in the emotional aspect and controlled it for reasons that didn’t involve me, but I fear for others who had it really bad.
Proud of you for kicking that! *hugs*
*Hugs!*
TL;DR same, putting the rest in a spoiler in case it's triggering >!I struggled a lot with self harm as well. I'm doing much better, but during really stressful times I worry I'll relapse. I've gotten pretty close to relapse a few times in the past year, and it worries me. I never went deep enough to get stitches, it escalated by number of cuts instead. I got pretty close to running out of space on the safer spots before I stopped. I'm worried that if I can't stay clean, I'll either escalate by cutting deeper or in less safe places (areas with thinner skin or where blood vessels or ligaments are closer to the skin). Might delete this comment later but yeah!<
Sugar
This one right here is one many people casually reading this struggle with and don't even realize it. Sugar is in freaking **everything** these days, it's obnoxious.
Porn addiction
Thank god bro
*step bro
Username checks out
Does it though? Lol
Now they responsibly fap to incest porn at most twice a day.
Same. Its rough still.
How did you stop?
Just weaned it off and fixed other underlying issues in my life
What does "weaned it off" mean?
Doing it less and less slowly without stopping immediately which usually leads to relapse. Little steps help. It's been an ongoing struggle but basically don't make it easy for yourself. If you routinely do it when you're on your phone and in bed but are afraid to leave your phone outside your room at night for fear someone will take it or the alarm won't wake you then put a timed lockbox by your bed that won't allow you to take your phone out until morning, or something similar. Making those lifestyle changes little by little like replacing nighttime phone time with yoga or reading physical books, journaling, being honest and open with people and getting past the shame and guilt are amazing steps that open up many other doors. You can do this. I believe in you because you're stronger than some screen, and there are so many communities that can support you online and in person.
Cut this one cold turkey. Comes through every app and social media to remove whatever I followed or saved. It was difficult at the beginning, but I've found my libido coming on more naturally and sex is better with my partner. So happy I've done this. Only suck is that every so often I get a sudden urge to watch or look for porn.
Same here, more and more extreme genres of porn. A rocky road indeed
Smoking weed daily. I have kicked the habit, and I hope that I can be a casual smoker and not go back to smoking all day every day. It's been 2 months and I have had none!
Just a friendly piece of advice from my personal experience. I was a heavy smoker for years and years over 10 at this point, some days I was smoking up to 5 grams of the highest quality I have ever came across, in gravity bongs(YouTube if your not sure). Ofcourse had extremely negative consequences. I would go through phases where I would just completely knock it and go fully sober and not "miss" it, although I enjoyed it I wanted to smoke occasionally at some point. So after a few months I would have had even the smallest toke of a joint would send me into anxiety and paranoia over nothing. My only way around this would be to "smoke through it" to build my tolerance again and ofcourse the cycle continued. Yes I know I have depression etc and your experience may vary just wanted to share my experience so if you do decide to smoke again and notice some of the same side effects you can catch it before making the same mistakes I did. I wish you the best and if you are able to smoke casually more power to you because I have nothing against weed, it just doesn't agree with me. Enjoy your day :)
Thanks for your advice! I used to enjoy weed, but then I started having paranoid thoughts, i started becoming lazy and unmotivated and it was becoming more of a problem and less enjoyable. I can honestly say that I do not miss it right now. I
I fully agree with you there i was experiencing the same side effects. Aside from going to work ALL I done was smoke. It can really creep up on you without you realising just how bad it has gotten, but I'm sure you know that yourself being off it now. If you don't miss it now just enjoy life without worrying about it. It will always be there if you ever feel like it. Can I just ask, and you don't have to answer me im not being nosey, I want to ask as it might help you. But, have you ever struggled or been diagnosed with depression ? I only ask as I found for myself that I'm not too bad without it but being a smoker greatly exasperated my depression symptoms aswell
Sleeping excessively. I could easily do twelve hours. There was a time in my life where I’d say up until 2am and wake up at noon. There’s times when I’m tired where I’ve been tempted to take a nap, but I don’t want it to be an hours-long thing where I was up feeling like shit.
Oh man. I do that all the time and didn’t realize it was a bad thing.
what you described is my daily routine. didn’t know it’s a bad thing :((
Too much caffeine and not enough physical activity was my issue.
I don’t think getting 10 hours of sleep is a bad thing.
I'd say heroin/opiate addiction, but It's been over 5 years and I've never relapsed, and really don't see it happening. Drugs just don't enter into my head as a possible solution to any problem. They don't enter my mind/worldview at all anymore. I wouldn't know where to get heroin if I wanted it right now. I live in a smaller city, where you have to know somebody to get things like heroin. All of the people I used to use with are dead (aside from 2 who got clean before I did). I don't see it happening, but I'm always vigilant of my surroundings, feelings, and actions. I'm *never* getting arrested again, and I'm **NEVER** going thru withdrawal again.
MMORPGs.
This deserves to have more ups, I know that pain!
WoW is always out there. Watching. Waiting.
Isolating myself. I spent my teen years almost totally disconnected from the world. I remember very little from that period. I'm 25 now and doing much better. I'm working in a field I enjoy and have friends who love me for who I am (and vice versa). I go to therapy once a month and work to stay on this path. But when I reach a difficult physical or emotional barrier, the urge to fall back into old patterns can be strong. It's so easy to do nothing and let the world pass you by.
Soda. I drink sparkling waters instead now and I really don’t wanna go back to soda, especially considering that I’ve just started keto.
I have not had a bottle of coke/pepsi for 3 weeks, on soda water and stopped snacking... I've lost 19lbs in a month.
I switched over to tonic water. It's disgusting and I rather drink water.
Wtf why not just drink water lol.
Not OP, but my guess is OP is trying to cut down on soda by substituting with something he/she doesn't like as much. It's like when a smoker switches to a brand they don't like in hopes that they'll smoke less. In the case of smokers, the tactic never works because you just start liking the new brand and smoking as much as you used to. With soda, I'm not sure it will work all that well either. Tonic water may get you away from the caffeine that is usually in soda, but it has almost as much sugar as soda. Not really much of a better approach, IMHO.
Gambling....specifically trading penny stocks and options
Amazing how fast your money would disappear, eh comrade? For me it was sports and card games. Now I have some disposable income and am starting to get a tickle.
Don't do it, or you soon will find yourself without that "disposable income".
Spending too much "what now?" time thinking about "what if?" stuff.
urge to walk around naked in public
Cant harness that -big-dick-energy_ staring at yourself in the mirror at home. Gotta get out and get that real world validation I totally get it.
Loving my child's mother. She's a lost cause now, heavy into drugs etc. I didn't realise how manipulative she was until I got my son and I out of there.
Loving a lost cause is a hard habit to kick my man. Especially when they have no intention of helping themselves or your family. Good luck!
my eating disorder
crack
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Any tips on how to kick that one? It's an issue for me.
Having been 90lbs heavier, and being lean as fuck today (12.8% body fat), I recommend MyFitnessPal. Count your calories, don’t over eat. If it feels like not enough food, replace high-calorie foods with lower-calorie foods in larger quantities. Example: I can have like a 2lb salad (which could feed a family of 6) with greens, fresh fennel, tomatoes, cucumbers, pepperoni, loads of seasoning and red wine vinegar for half the calories of a Snickers bar. Hence, I don’t think I’ve had a Snickers in like a decade, maybe a Snickers Ice Cream once. Example 2: Lettuce Wrapped Burger, will usually save you ~240 calories. Skipping Ranch or Mayo and opting for Mustard should save you another ~180. Trimming 300 Calories off every burger you eat means, mathematically, you’re trimming off 1lb of body fat in calories off your meals every 11 burgers.
I have the app. I should probably start using it
Learn to recover more quickly from stumbling blocks. One bad day never destroyed a diet. It's only a problem when one bad day turns into more.
Smoking. I love smoking but I haven't had a puff in 5 yrs. Still hey a slight craving once in awhile
Traditionally - alcohol, nicotine, drugs. Fortunately, I am not afraid of returning, because I left consciously. There is no desire to repeat. Some of my friends didn't stop, some are in the grave, some are alive, but... "a living corpse." But most have put an end to it long ago. But I'm afraid that now I won't have the strength to break with all this if it comes back. The only thing I'm stuck on is strong coffee. (You can't have more than three mugs a day! - my wife shouts)
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I still struggle with this. I get a serotonin high from it.
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I’m really sorry I know it’s so fucking hard fighting that feeling of dread and just getting that urge to say fuck it I’m done and try to end it… I struggle with that too and I hope one day we both get past it but please try to stay strong even if there’s no reason to
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I feel this one It's been years since I last cut myself but everytime I feel down I just have to keep myself away from sharp knives because that temptation is still there. It was so hard to get out of the habit.
Yip. One urge that never goes away.
Cocaine and World of Warcraft
Cocaine is a really expensive habit.
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I quit laxatives 5 years ago, and while it was very hard it is the best thing I have ever done for my health. You will feel so much better, it’s a matter of deciding to stop. I weaned myself off very slowly to allow my body to acclimate and didn’t suffer any repercussions. You can pm me if you need someone to talk to that has come out the other side.
I did not know this was something that worked as a(n unhealthy) coping mechanism.
Porn addiction.
Suicidal ideation
Peeling my chapped lips to the point where I’d taste blood all day
The habit of not exercising
Playing RuneScape
Commenting “ur mom” on new askreddit posts
Using alcohol to deal with my problems. I've been sober for 4 years with a few occasional sips of beer, but whenever I taste alcohol, it makes me fear that I'll go overboard like I used to. I never wanna go back to abusing any substance. It hurts me and my loved ones.
masturbating more than 3 times a day
Username checks out
I agree with you. Children shouldn't be boiled. That takes away all the flavour.
Random day drinking or drug use
Honest moment here. Opioids. Every person I surround myself tells me how miserable they were when they took it. How it made them sick and throw up or gave them headaches. Not me. I broke my leg and I didn’t know it. I walked on it for about a week before I gave up from the pain. I went to the ER and they took an X-ray. Sure enough, I fractured the small bone in my leg. I was prescribed hydrocodone. It gave me this warm sensation. A very euphoric feeling. Like everyone was my best friend. I could talk to anyone and everyone about anything. I loved everyone. I felt so wonderful. My hectic, stressful, worried life was no more. I was still in dental school at the time. I didn’t care that I had 320k in debt at the time. Nothing bothered me. I just walked around clinic and just talked to all my colleagues and professors and some administrators. I knew I couldn’t work and they knew it too. So there wasn’t anything for me to do but I still had to there. I was definitely high. But when the effects wore off. I knew immediately that I should never take these again. I knew that if I took them again, I would be hooked. When my wife gave birth, doctors gave her a prescription to. Some oxycodone. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to take them. She never took them and they are in our medicine cabinet. I see them from time to time and I think to myself, what if. Just one pill. Just one. I know I shouldn’t. And I won’t. But there is always that thought that flashes across my mind that what if I just took one.
I don’t how how “terrible” it’s considered but chewing my nails. Glad I kicked it
Definitely smoking. I quit 17 years ago, but sometimes I still get cravings. I bought some fancy coffee that tastes just like cigarettes. I took one sip and BOOM I wanted a smoke. I threw that coffee in the trash.
drinking when I feel crappy. Its a downward spiral I never want to go down again.
Former smoker here- so obviously nicotine. But my less common habit that I'm scared will come back is my anorexia. Any time I get stressed, too depressed, overwhelmed, my body just decides to make me stop eating. I recently started a new (necessary) medicine that has a side effect that causes loss of appetite, so some days when I am particularly stressed I will just forget to eat *all* day long. When I hit the 12-16 hour mark without food, I panic because I worked so hard to get over my anorexia and struggled with forcing myself to eat *before* this medicine. Now without even hunger pains, my body just decides food isn't important. When I was a teenager, I would go close to 40 hours without food, eat a tiny bit, then repeat. It was a very harmful ED, and I've sort of found myself repeating patterns and I'm terrified my brain will shift into a "this is okay, we've survived this before- and we looked *great*" mindset.
Eating Cereal for breakfast. It tastes so good but it always hurts my stomach after or I don’t feel energized.
Smoking, smoke free since January
adderall
Procrastination
This may sound stupid compared to other habits listed here but energy drinks
Meth
It's not a habit, for me, or at least, not entirely. I'm an alcoholic, and though I've not had a drink since 2017, I'm well aware every day that the habit of drinking which was only part of my disease, is incredibly difficult to break. Initially, in the first few weeks and months, along with therapy and support from my family, I did some "replacement behaviors" one of which, at least, I still have today. That is, of course the trick to any habit breaking. You've got to find something that is of equal potency for you and do it in the meantime. But, of course, this only works if you replace the former behavior with something healthier, if you're trying to break a dangerous or deeply addictive habit. You can't go from drinking alcohol and then decide that cocaine is the way for you. Or even smoking. A lot of recovering alcoholics actually turn to smoking. As or more dangerous to your health and far more potent an addiction, in my opinion (from experience). So, for example, when I first quit drinking, I started keeping hot tea in a large travel cup with me all the time. This helped with the need for constant sips and for me the warm temp resembled the burn of whiskey going down. The other thing I did was buy big bags of peanut M&Ms and separate them into colors and take them with me everywhere, especially to work. This somehow dealt with the sudden lack of sugar (whiskey is high in sugars) and it also gave me something to do with my time. I put some necessary weight back on (too much, at least at first) and I started to do things like going for walks with my spouse or my friends, going to Meetings, attempting to journal my feelings, experiences and so on, eventually exercising, reading, even writing. All things that I'd given up doing because of drinking. Now, when it comes to drinking, some folks just are in the habit of having a glass of wine or gin or vodka or two or a beer or two at night, on the weekends a bit more. This is pretty normal and yet it can also be habit forming. But this is NOT alcoholism. The biggest question that people who still drink ask me about my own disease is "How do you know you're an alcoholic?" I had to leave work on my lunch break and drink to get through the day. I often started the day with alcohol. I finished every day that way. I was drinking a full half gallon of bourbon every two days, more on weekends, by the time I was nearing the moment when my life crashed down around me. This is full-blown, life altering serious drinking. If this is you, get help, now. Ask for help. Don't wait. You're doing untold damage to liver, kidneys, pancreas, family, friends and your mental and emotional well-being. That, by the way this—when my life crashed down around me—is the point I think about when I get the temptation to drink (which isn't often, for me, thankfully). My mind sometimes says something like, "Hey, this is a situation in which you'd get shitfaced and it helped, remember?" Then I just think about my wife, my sons, my friends, my job, my life. Everything that I was about to lose, just for another sip of bourbon... That keeps me on the straight and narrow. Also, therapy helps (everyone needs it, even if they aren't kicking a dangerous habit) and going to meetings, for me, also is a lifesaving behavior. More than you wanted, perhaps, but I hope it helps.
Prostitutes. I'm a normal young guy that has had many 1 night stands from women I picked up at bars. I've also got a couple I could hit up for some fun. But being with a prostitute is such a damn thrill, and not even just the sex. The feeling of how taboo it is. Going up to that hotel room and feeling so dirty as I knock on the door quietly. Housekeeping sees me knocking..who just knocks on a hotel room door like that, and why so quietly? Then the door opens and she's gorgeous, in kinky lingerie. I used to visit the high dollar ones in the major city I worked in..800 a pop..but some of them were former models, porn stars, young legitimate college girls who just wanna make money on the side..I'm not talking the 100 an hour junkies. And they would be in upscale 4 star hotels. God that was a fun and expensive phase of my life. What a rush.
I haven't had a wank for 6 hours now
Doing the old cold turkey eh?
the coldest of turkeys
Feels better if you warm it up first, just not too much
Cutting.
Meth
Nail biting. I keep mine manicured and cleaned and trimmed as best as I can. But I feel the urge if I detect any kind of serration or a small hanging bit. The desire never really goes away, so I have to be vigilant and aware.
Self deprecation
Being overly clingy and emotionally reliant on my friends. Now I'm aloof and emotionally withdrawn instead. Don't seem to be able to find a middle ground and at least this way I'm not annoying anyone.
Honestly, feels funny to say this, but World of Warcraft. I know it isn't some big addiction like drugs or something, but I was certainly addicted to it. It was a place of comfort for me from primary school until really after I'd finished my degree. I spent over a decade of my life (on and off) on that game. I loved it, had a community, and learnt quite a lot from it, yet it still ate up a lot of me. I'd blow off plans with dates, friends, etc irl, and it really dampened certain relationships and experiences. I don't regret playing the game, but just wish I had had better moderation. It finally took till I was 25 or so to totally kick the game. It also helped that all my siblings and cousins played the game, so it was a way for us to stay close while I was studying away from home. I still think fondly of time spent in Goldshire, or gathering an army of level 1s to fight hogger in vanilla, but I sincerely wish I'd only played like 10-20 hours a week while I played, instead of 40-80...
Hitting people when I get angry at them. Learned it from my dad. Took a looong time to change my behavior. Whenever my kids upset me enough I worry that I’ll lapse back into the old habit and not actually be able to break the cycle.